It's Thanksgiving today ?

[death tribble]

I was wondering if it is or that maybe I slept through it. I thought it was Friday not Thursday (and yes I am talking about the day rather than Thanksgiving which I know is a Thursday).

 

But this is the latest in the month it can be as the fourth Thursday in November cannot exceed 28.

 

So happy whatever greeting to those of the American persuasion who celebrate this.

[Starlord]

Happy Fight With Your Family Day!

[Duke Bushido]

The day to rediscover all the racists, mysogonists, and political wackos in your family.

 

Let's not forget the traditional holiday songs!

 

 

 

 

[tombrown803]

Happy Thanksgiving 

 

[Cygnia]

I am SO happy it's just gonna me and the hubby alone in our own house.

 

And not trapped in a cramped house in the middle of nowhere Ohio with no internet and with 29 people -- with the majority of them on the problematic political scale (and the aforementioned hubby making ALL the excuses because FAMILY~!)

[Cancer]

59 minutes ago, Duke Bushido said:

The day to rediscover all the racists, mysogonists, and political wackos in your family.

 

Let's not forget the traditional holiday songs!

 

 

 

 

I bought a bottle of Knappogue Castle yesterday for just this reason.

[Logan D. Hurricanes]

Just another reason to move to Canada. 

[Duke Bushido]

 

 

15 minutes ago, Cygnia said:

 

(and the aforementioned hubby making ALL the excuses because FAMILY~!)

 

Ma'am (presumed; apologies if in error), I have a brother I haven't spoken to since '86, and a sister I havent spoken to since '91.  I love exactly one-third of my in-laws and make no bones about or excuses for detesting the rest.

 

Yet somehow, I have far more brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles than I was ever born with.  Hell, I have buried a father, but I still have (the wrong) one left! (All three mothers are doing fine; thanks for asking!)

 

Family is where you find it, not what surname it has.  Blood is not love.  Love is so much more that it makes blood irrelevant.

 

I told my wife when we got married I would never expect her to be with anyone who made her uncomfortable, even if they were "blood kin" to one of us.  To this day, I have kept my word.  Typically, visits to my surviving father's house (like the one coming up today) are a lot like that Eddie Murphy routine about black people and haunted houses:

 

Me:

"Hi, Dad!  We brought the kids!"

 

Wife:

"And we are really looking forward to spending the--"

 

Father:

Says pretty much _any_ of the things he is prone to say

 

Me:

"Well, too bad we can't stay longer.  Got lots of folks to see and plenty of things to do, and would you look at that?  I think the girl broke her leg again.  Anyway, gotta run; let's do this again in a few years!"

 

I used to put up with all kinds of crap, right up until Thumper crossed a line in '86.  At that point I realized "I am _not_ immortal.  I have only so many years ahead of me.  I will be _damned_ if I waste them enduring hateful people."

 

And I have not.

 

It _seems_ difficult at first; I understand that.  But really?  It absolutely is _not_, after the first one.  Once you make a break, that source of stress is gone _forever_  (and if you are the vengeful type, like me  , it brings a sort of contentment to hear later just how much that person is harping on it, and being eaten up with their own hate).  Once you feel that small amount of peace, it gwt2s easier and easier to eliminate problem people from your life, amd ypur life becomes much better for it.

 

Bonus: sometimes people you and the problem person know in common will unite in anti-you solidarity.  Not only does this mean that problem people you _thought_ were okay are helping you out by self-identifying, they are _also_ taking the steps to remove themselves from your life.  _they_ tend to think it is some sort  of punishment (because problem people have a massive over-estimation of their importance to your well-being), but in reality, it some sort of insane triple win situation!

 

Enjoy it!

 

Family schmamily.

 

Or, as I had to tell me wife a few years ago:  "I married _you_; I love you.  I want to spend every moment left in my life with you.  Your sister is _not_ you, and drives me to rage and is very bad for my over all contentment.  In short, your sister can go /=;_;€lx herself.  Or, you and the kids can to her house without me.  Either way is good."

 

 

 

 

[Cancer]

Actually, I'll be at the family of my host.  It promises to be chaotic.  I intend to be as circumspect as possible.

[Pariah]

We made the 475-ish mile trip yesterday in 9 hours, which included two stops for gas, one stop for grocery pickup, and one stop on the frozen Wyoming plains to clean up after LGP threw up in the car. We had clear roads most of the way, except for the 30± miles before and after Laramie where three was blowing show and black ice. 

 

We're safe and warm and making side dishes in anticipation of the big meal in five hours or so. So we're doing all right.

 

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

[DShomshak]

In another few hopurs, my brother drives us over to my sister for the first bug family Thanksgiving since my mother died. We couldn't do that during the years she was bedridden. My sister's family is vegetarian, so I am not actually looking forward to tofurkey. OTOH there will be much pie.

 

Tomorrow I'll cook some real turkey just for myself and my brother.

 

While it is sad that my mother is gone, I am also thankful that she lived as long as she did, and that her death was relatively painless, she died at home as she wanted, and that I was able to say goodby. So it is, to coin a phrase, a good grief.

 

Dean Shomshak

[Iuz the Evil]

Happy Thanksgiving. Doing the classics here at the homestead, turkey, mashed taters and lots of alcohol. My lady, my mom, brother, my lady’s son and his fiancé, all the family available. Second Thanksgiving tomorrow with her family in the Bay Area, which involves the horrific traffic and staying at her mom’s.

 

 Macy’s parade was terrible, just hard to watch. Football coming on soon, my brother and I chopped up the firewood for this evening a while ago. 
 

Much to be thankful for this year, wishing others happiness and time well spent with those they care about.

Edited November 29 by Iuz the Evil

[Logan D. Hurricanes]

Thanksgiving is here, like it or not! 
Here are this year's (successful) experiments. My famous green bean casserole and a classic Irish toad-in-the-hole made with real Irish bangers! (I know it's not exotic abroad, but I've never had it so it sounded like fun.) As an appetizer, cranberry & jalapeño dip. Finishing off with a Basque burnt cheesecake! 
Happy Turkey Day to all!

 

[Duke Bushido]

5 hours ago, Pariah said:

We made the 475-ish mile trip yesterday in 9 hours, which included two stops for gas, one stop for grocery pickup, and one stop on the frozen Wyoming plains to clean up after LGP threw up in the car. We had clear roads most of the way, except for the 30± miles before and after Laramie where three was blowing show and black ice. 

 

 

So if I have times this correctly, you just sat down to eat.

 

Not sure why it creeps me out a bit to know that....  

 

 

5 hours ago, Pariah said:

We're safe and warm and making side dishes in anticipation of the big meal in five hours or so. So we're doing all right.

 

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Back at you, Sir!

 

 

For what itis worth, ours went as expected:  "what the Hell is that boy doing-"

 

"Getting ready to leave.  Enjoy the fudge; keep the plate."

 

 

[unclevlad]

Wrapping things up with the pumpkin pie, and a strong, festival coffee...15% less water than usual, counterbalanced with some half and half and Kahlua.  Medium-dark Hawaiian coffee, French press, a dollop of stevia and cinnamon tossed onto the grounds before brewing.  

[Old Man]

Still Thanksgiving here so I wanted to jump in at the eleventh hour and say that I am thankful for all you weirdos.  Without you I'd have gone mad.  With you I've also gone mad, but it's nice to have company.  Stay safe!

[DShomshak]

Before dinner, my sister gave the traditional reading of a piece that's been circulating through the Internet for years. Authorship long lost; I found it in a repost from 2007. You might like it, too.

 

Quote

Martha Stewart Will Not Be Coming For Thanksgiving Dinner

--Authorship Unknown

 

Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm telling you in advance, so don't act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart won't be coming, I've made a few small changes:

Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect.

The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and everyone will get a fork. Since this IS Thanksgiving, we will refrain from using the plastic Peter Rabbit plate and the Santa napkins from last Christmas.

Our centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and flowers that I promised. Instead we will be displaying a hedgehog-like decoration that has been hand-crafted from the finest construction paper. The artist assures me it's a turkey.

We will be dining fashionably late. The children will entertain you while you wait. I'm sure they will be happy to share every choice comment I have made regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims and the turkey hotline. Please remember that most of these comments were made at 5:00 a.m. upon discovering that the turkey was still hard enough to cut diamonds.

As accompaniment to the children's recital, I will play a recording of tribal drumming. If the children should mention that I don't own a recording of tribal drumming or that the tribal drumming sounds suspiciously like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore them. They are lying.

We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the start of our feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method. We've also decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like. In the spirit of harmony, we will ask the children to sit at a separate table. In a separate room. Next door.

Now I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving a turkey in front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening at our dinner. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a private ceremony. I stress "private" meaning this: Do not, under any circumstances enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children to check on my progress. I have an electric knife. The turkey is unarmed. It stands to reason that I will eventually win. When I do, we will eat.

Oh before I forget, there is one last change. Instead of offering a choice between 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the traditional pumpkin pie. Garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. You will have a choice. Take it or leave it.

Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. Come to think of it, she probably won't make it next year either. I am thankful!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Dean Shomshak

Edited November 29 by DShomshak

[death tribble]

I am instantly reminded of The Revolution Will Not be Televised

[Old Man]

But will it be streamed?

[unclevlad]

yes, but it's pay per view.  Pundits expect it'll be as interesting as the Tyson-Paul 'fight.'

[Cygnia]

On 11/28/2024 at 9:19 AM, Duke Bushido said:

 

 

 

Ma'am (presumed; apologies if in error), I have a brother I haven't spoken to since '86, and a sister I havent spoken to since '91.  I love exactly one-third of my in-laws and make no bones about or excuses for detesting the rest.

 

Yet somehow, I have far more brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles than I was ever born with.  Hell, I have buried a father, but I still have (the wrong) one left! (All three mothers are doing fine; thanks for asking!)

 

Family is where you find it, not what surname it has.  Blood is not love.  Love is so much more that it makes blood irrelevant.

 

I told my wife when we got married I would never expect her to be with anyone who made her uncomfortable, even if they were "blood kin" to one of us.  To this day, I have kept my word.  Typically, visits to my surviving father's house (like the one coming up today) are a lot like that Eddie Murphy routine about black people and haunted houses:

 

Me:

"Hi, Dad!  We brought the kids!"

 

Wife:

"And we are really looking forward to spending the--"

 

Father:

Says pretty much _any_ of the things he is prone to say

 

Me:

"Well, too bad we can't stay longer.  Got lots of folks to see and plenty of things to do, and would you look at that?  I think the girl broke her leg again.  Anyway, gotta run; let's do this again in a few years!"

 

I used to put up with all kinds of crap, right up until Thumper crossed a line in '86.  At that point I realized "I am _not_ immortal.  I have only so many years ahead of me.  I will be _damned_ if I waste them enduring hateful people."

 

And I have not.

 

It _seems_ difficult at first; I understand that.  But really?  It absolutely is _not_, after the first one.  Once you make a break, that source of stress is gone _forever_  (and if you are the vengeful type, like me  , it brings a sort of contentment to hear later just how much that person is harping on it, and being eaten up with their own hate).  Once you feel that small amount of peace, it gwt2s easier and easier to eliminate problem people from your life, amd ypur life becomes much better for it.

 

Bonus: sometimes people you and the problem person know in common will unite in anti-you solidarity.  Not only does this mean that problem people you _thought_ were okay are helping you out by self-identifying, they are _also_ taking the steps to remove themselves from your life.  _they_ tend to think it is some sort  of punishment (because problem people have a massive over-estimation of their importance to your well-being), but in reality, it some sort of insane triple win situation!

 

Enjoy it!

 

Family schmamily.

 

Or, as I had to tell me wife a few years ago:  "I married _you_; I love you.  I want to spend every moment left in my life with you.  Your sister is _not_ you, and drives me to rage and is very bad for my over all contentment.  In short, your sister can go /=;_;€lx herself.  Or, you and the kids can to her house without me.  Either way is good."

 

 

 

 

The problematic thing is, I've Used My Words on the husband (and his parents).  And yes, they are sympathetic...

 

...but my husband refuses to recognize that his brothers are TOXIC.  That they CAN'T be racist/homophobic because "they have a Black son-in-law!/gay son!" (and if I get any more into THAT and all the respective landmines, I should jump over to Political Talk).  I tell him I'm not keeping him from his brothers -- just please don't ask me to come.

 

But it's never enough.  He's The Peacekeeper.  Ergo, WE ALL MUST BE TOGETHER FOR THE HOLIDAYS~!  And he'll insist he's made more than enough concessions to me.  That his brothers "just like to argue!" with him.  Never mind the fact that getting me upset when I can't flee and they intentionally make sure everyone can hear isn't a bug, it's a feature (again I HAVE TOLD HIM THIS).  My family is toxic so of course we need to stay away (and yes, they are toxic and we do stay away), but his is WONDERFUL~! so why can't I just BE FAMILY TOO~?!

 

It doesn't help that the weather is miserable.  And there are no spaces/rooms to just hide away from it all.  Even asking for myself (only myself -- not him) to arrive late (the festivities will be within walking distance) feels like I'm pulling teeth with him.

 

And I don't have any nearby friends to boot.

[Old Man]

2 hours ago, Cygnia said:

That they CAN'T be racist/homophobic because "they have a Black son-in-law!/gay son!"

 

 

 

 

 

2 hours ago, Cygnia said:

 

But it's never enough.  He's The Peacekeeper.  Ergo, WE ALL MUST BE TOGETHER FOR THE HOLIDAYS~!  And he'll insist he's made more than enough concessions to me.  That his brothers "just like to argue!" with him.  Never mind the fact that getting me upset when I can't flee and they intentionally make sure everyone can hear isn't a bug, it's a feature (again I HAVE TOLD HIM THIS).  My family is toxic so of course we need to stay away (and yes, they are toxic and we do stay away), but his is WONDERFUL~! so why can't I just BE FAMILY TOO~?!

 

What kind of "family" intentionally triggers each other?  Especially nowadays.

Edited November 30 by Old Man

[Duke Bushido]

9 hours ago, Old Man said:

 

What kind of "family" intentionally triggers each other?  Especially nowadays.

 

 

Ehhhhh....

 

It's not especially great, but brothers are famous for it, especially in larger families.  It is part of the unconscious dominance play in male sibling rivalry that has for centuries been dismissed as "just messin' with ya--!"

 

It really is only the current generation and the one prior that brought this sort of thing into focus for us old jackasses to be aware of.  Unfortunately,most of our responses are built along the "I suffered for no reason and I turned out okay, so my kids ahould have to suffer for no reason, too!"  (To which I try to _always_ point out that justifying your kinds suffering when they don't have to suggests that   maybe you did not turn out anywhere _near_ "okay....").

 

At any rate, having been raised in it and never having stepped outside to make a study of it, your husband, like most men with more than one brother, is genuinely unaware of the deeper effects of the horseplay between him and his siblings.  (For what it'a worth, the "rough housing" between me and my own brothers involved hurling chunks of stovewood  at each other.  Several shed walls and one door in the house suffered greatly at our early throwing and swinging inaccuracies.    "While it seems like a viscious battle to the death, these early games help the primative redneck develop hunting and avoidance skills that will serve him well as he no es off to start his own pride... " [/Attenborough] ). 

 

I cannot tell you a solution; every family--  your husband and his people; even you and your husband-- all have different dynamics at play.

 

But I can recommend that you strongly emphasize to your husband that the stress to which his family subjects you is damaging to you.  Point out--  without belaboring it- that you both avoid your family for very similar reasons to those for which you would like to avoid his.

 

At extremes- and again, without any malice or anger-  refuse to go.  Tell him- sincerely-  that he is _welcome_ to go, and that you genuinely want him to enjoy it, but that you have been through that misery enough to last you a lifetime.

 

You _will_ hurt his feelings, so be prepared for that, and acknowledge that it happened, and that you are regretful of it.  However, there is a chance that this "poke in the chest" might it might move him to look at your situation more carefully-  can't promise that, as- despite what the romance movies suggests, that takes an unusually sensitive and perceptive man in the real world.

 

Most importantly, let him know that your motivation ia not control; that this is not a me-or-them situation and that you are perfectly okay with him going along without you, that this is entirely about you taking care of your health, and your not going means that you will be much happier when he gets back. 

 

 

[Logan D. Hurricanes]

[Cancer]

There is a similar meme with

 

{square root of -1}

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