Space Cadet Posted June 14, 2003 Report Share Posted June 14, 2003 Originally posted by QUARK Dear Krusher, Thanks again for the new bodies. If it can be arranged, I'm going to need a new shapeshifter body. You were right about the unstable part, though I believe there's a way to correct the problem (I'm sending you some specs and notes that might be helpful). In the meantime... A SPECIAL ANOUNCEMENT FOR ALL SUPER SCUM MAGAZINE SUBSCRIBERS: With the recent mysterious disappearance of Uncle Lou, I as the senior most member of the SSM staff will be acting editor and chief. Lou was last seen during the aftermath of an evil plot gone horribly wrong down at the Bad Sector Club. My contact at the Space Academy has recently informed me that he hasn't been by with the latest batch of Super Scum Magazines and other contraband goodies, so we here at SSM Headquarters fear the worst. I will keep you informed as further information becomes available Bad Probability, You've got a contact here in the Academy? Hmm... I'll have to look him (or her, or it -- this is, after all, a multi-species establishment) up one of these days. This could also explain why the guys in the CCU (Contraband Confiscation Unit) look so insufferably pleased with them- selves lately... Space Cadet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mayday Posted June 14, 2003 Report Share Posted June 14, 2003 Dear Quark. For years I have been pursuing a career in politics. I have a beautiful wife, a respected career prosecuting criminals and on the dinner circuit, am photogenic and inherited wealth from my parents, but recently my wife suffered mental trauma and has become a vigilante, combing the streets at night in a leather catsuit assaulting criminals. She refuses to attend any more political fundraisers or have children, in fact she says she hates me! People are starting to talk! And I haven't had any since this happened a year ago. I don't know how much longer I can let his go on. What would you recommend? Surgically alter an actress to pose as my wife, a quiet divorce, spill her secret Identity and play it as a tough stance on crime or a 10 step Stepford wife program? I would also like to speak to Uncle Lou regarding my political career, I feel he can do alot for me. Is there a mailing address where I can leave a message should he return? Anonymous in New York Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Dear Quark, I wish to seek your advice regarding foreign competition. Lately it seems that American crime organizations are outsourcing more and more jobs overseas. It seems that Viper can pay an Indian or Chinese supervillain 1/10 of what they would have to pay an American supervillain. My operations are being squeezed. My company is getting fewer assignments, and the clients are negotiating some hefty reductions in my fees. If this continues, I'll have to start downsizing and laying off some of my lackeys, and reducing the Super Science R&D budgent. I'll even have to contribute less to my Swiss Bank account as well. What is an Awesome Supervillain such as myself to do? Kosmic Krusher. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QUARK Posted December 30, 2003 Author Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Originally posted by Mayday Dear Quark. For years I have been pursuing a career in politics. I have a beautiful wife, a respected career prosecuting criminals and on the dinner circuit, am photogenic and inherited wealth from my parents, but recently my wife suffered mental trauma and has become a vigilante, combing the streets at night in a leather catsuit assaulting criminals. She refuses to attend any more political fundraisers or have children, in fact she says she hates me! People are starting to talk! And I haven't had any since this happened a year ago. I don't know how much longer I can let his go on. What would you recommend? Surgically alter an actress to pose as my wife, a quiet divorce, spill her secret Identity and play it as a tough stance on crime or a 10 step Stepford wife program? I would also like to speak to Uncle Lou regarding my political career, I feel he can do alot for me. Is there a mailing address where I can leave a message should he return? Anonymous in New York Dear Anonymous, With regards to your marital quandry, I recommend you discreetly hire a "professional" to arrange a little "accident" for your current wife and speak to my old friend Teleios about creating a wife more to your liking. As for Uncle Lou, it's been months with no word from him but I will have one of my bikini-clad secretaries dust off Lou's old rolladex and see if one of his people would be willing to assist you in your quest for political power. Bad Probability, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QUARK Posted December 30, 2003 Author Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Originally posted by Gary Dear Quark, I wish to seek your advice regarding foreign competition. Lately it seems that American crime organizations are outsourcing more and more jobs overseas. It seems that Viper can pay an Indian or Chinese supervillain 1/10 of what they would have to pay an American supervillain. My operations are being squeezed. My company is getting fewer assignments, and the clients are negotiating some hefty reductions in my fees. If this continues, I'll have to start downsizing and laying off some of my lackeys, and reducing the Super Science R&D budgent. I'll even have to contribute less to my Swiss Bank account as well. What is an Awesome Supervillain such as myself to do? Kosmic Krusher. Dear Krusher, Jobs being outsourced to cheaper labor markets overseas is an unfortunate sign of the times. The key to your organization's survival is to play even dirtier and more dastardly. Anonymously drop a dime on PRIMUS, UNTIL, and/or some superhero teams about these foreign villains and things should start looking up for you. In the meantime, consider talking to one of Uncle Lou's old cohorents for help with contract negotiation. Just dial: 1-666-MEPHISTOPHELES Bad Probability, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Cadet Posted December 31, 2003 Report Share Posted December 31, 2003 Originally posted by QUARK Dear Krusher, Jobs being outsourced to cheaper labor markets overseas is an unfortunate sign of the times. The key to your organization's survival is to play even dirtier and more dastardly. Anonymously drop a dime on PRIMUS, UNTIL, and/or some superhero teams about these foreign villains and things should start looking up for you. In the meantime, consider talking to one of Uncle Lou's old cohorents for help with contract negotiation. Just dial: 1-666-MEPHISTOPHELES Bad Probability, Talk about outsourcing to a foreign market... that phone number's got way too many digits for an American phone number. Space Cadet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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