TUV Captions

[Nato]

Here's a few that popped up when I was looking at the art in my copy of The Ultimate Vehicle.

 

p44 "Quit grabbin' ma ass, ahm tryin' ta drive!"

p7 "Here's the cash. Oh, and next time... park in the driveway like everyone else."

p53 "I better hurry. If I'm late again, the rest of the Village People are gonna be pissed."

p56 "Look octavius, while they were sleeping I drew a face on their ship with a sharpie. They STILL have noticed it!"

p59 "Aircraft sold separately!"

p60 "How many times do I have to tell you boys, shoot that thing OUTSIDE!"

p74 "Jafar's magic carpet gave him the getaway he needed when her husdband pulled in the drive."

p76 "Dammit Maverik, you overshot the carrier! It's back on page 59!"

p 84 "News at 11:00 - Flying internal organ spotted over the grand canyon!"

p 102 "Zorton enjoys his hobby, poking pinholes into planets and hollowing them out."

p 115 "Dr. Eradicator puts together his first Radio Shack shortwave radio kit."

p 142 "After Kid Rock went broke he turned to a life of car theft."

p 149 "Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooi, ees hard to count wid onlay one hayund."

p 151 (Thought balloon from woman in isle) "I finally made it into the Mile High Club. And I did it all by myself."

p 160 "After a long day's shopping at the aqua-mall, Max forgets where he parked his boat." (pretty weak, I know)

p 165 "I'm sorry, but we can't fit the body in there - not with all that crap in the trunk."

p 173 "After a failed atempt on page 37, the maniac driver tried to hit Jim a second time."

p 175 "Damn! She closed her blinds AGAIN."

p 200 (Cuba Gooding Jr.) "This is a GAY cruise!!!" (Horatio Sans) "I'm swimming back to shore!!!!"

p 213 "Dang it! I JUST washed bacon grease off my car!

 

Hope they make you chuckle more than they make you groan.

 

- Nato

[BasilDrag]

Re: TUV Captions

 

Originally posted by Nato

Here's a few that popped up when I was looking at the art in my copy of The Ultimate Vehicle.

 

{much snip}

 

Hope they make you chuckle more than they make you groan.

 

-Nato

 

OK, you've opened up a can of worms.

 

Cover: "I'm tellin' ya, Clancy, dat ain't no garbage truck!"

 

p5: "Why go just forward and backward, when you can go SIDEWAYS!"

 

p11: Ballet, cyberpunk style.

 

p13: "No, I don't know why the car has one tooth."

 

p16: "Sarge, why are we firing pistols at the vehicle's armor, when that idiot is sticking up out of it?"

 

p23: "Wow, look at the lights!"

 

p34: "How did this get inside my closet??"

(Or, "Why are my clothes hung up inside my garage?")

 

p40: "Mr. Coyote, that roadrunner is as good as dead."

 

p46: "Woah! When did this thing gain Flight?"

 

p54: "What do you mean, we're about to run aground on paper?!??"

 

p60: So far, no-one has noticed the giant Q-tip.

 

p69: "I'll be glad to show it to you up close, sir. Just step this way, right off this unrailed platform..."

 

p70: "Yeah, but if this baby's rotors ever get out of sync..."

 

p83: "For some reason, my feet seem to be getting warm."

 

p85: "I am unique, just like everybody else."

 

p94: "Iron your clothes for you?"

 

p98: "OK, explain just one thing to me----why are we flying a flag in outer space?"

 

p117: How NOT to hitchhike

 

p121: "Sheesh, just mention the d20 system to some people, and see what happens!"

 

p124: "Hey, where'd Slim Pickens go?"

 

p134: "No, I don't know how they're running five feet above ground level! Maybe the guy on p.46 knows!"

 

p144: The captain, always concerned to give a neat & military appearance, prepares to shave.

 

p.149: Neither criminal has noticed the huge turd about to fall on the back of the car.

 

p.151: thought balloon from guy. "Why are all the women aside from the stewardess wearing such dorky glasses?"

 

p160: thought balloon "Or was that--it's OK to let the knife get wet, but keep the gun dry?"

 

p165: "I don't want to even think about what he's got in that lunch box."

 

p180: "Hey, how come he gets the full grey-scale treatment, and we're stuck in black & white?"

 

p221: "One more 'Tighten my nuts' joke out of you, and I'll shove this wrench down your throat."

 

p222: "I'll just microwave this dinner, and be right with you."

[BobGreenwade]

Here are some of mine

 

p5: "Brush with Super Brite for a smile so white it glows in the dark!"

 

p7: "Thanks for the repair work, George. At least the streets of Pasadena will once again be safe from that crazy old woman."

 

p16: The Creep drove forward, his psycho-gas making the police completely oblivious to the fact that he was sticking his unprotected body out into the open.

 

p23: "Okay, so the light at the end of the tunnel wasn't an approaching train...."

 

p24: The solution to pizza delivery in post-holocaust America.

 

p34: "Dang! This rig can stand up to supervillains, but throw the tiniest nail in its path..."

 

p37: "Whoa! I gotta tell Margo about this!"

 

p40: "I hope I can hold out until I can get back to base -- then I've got to have Evan fix this onboard toilet!"

 

p44: "Pardon me -- do you have any Grey Poupon?"

 

p60: "Hey, you idiots! You're supposed to clean it, not fire it! Just look what you did to my car!"

 

p140: "Hey, watch it, buddy! Where'd you get your license -- Woolworth's?"

 

p144: "Ensign, pull something out of my personal library if you have to, but tonight's movie is not going to be The Hunt for Red October!"

 

p160: "What do you mean, you're out of Oreos?" (Don't ask.)

 

p166: "I tell ya, Boss, I have a bad feeling about this...."

 

p173: "See, Margo? He's trying to kill me!"

 

p176: "...and that, Lieutenant, is why the front of the ship looks like a laughing face."

 

p184: "Aw, Margo, you should've listened...."

 

p198: "My name is Margo, and I'm out for revenge!"

 

p213: "Hey, man! If you wanted to hitch a ride or something, you should've just waved your hand or something!"

 

p221: "So, do you need me to get your engine running, or would you rather I work on your car?"

 

p222: "They'll never find this manuscript for Grimtooth's Traps Tree in here!"

 

p226: "Nice wheels, Macho Man, but... where are the wheels?"

[BasilDrag]

Re: Re: TUV Captions

 

Originally posted by BasilDrag

{snip all}

 

Damn, one went missing:

 

p166: "Hey, I think they stole this thing from downtown Seattle!"

 

(If you don't know, don't worry. )

 

 

 

BTW, did anyone else expect "Chapter Nine: Vehicle Characters" (as it says in the TOC) to be about Vehicles *as* Characters?

 

--

Errors show up in the duplicate while the Boss reads it.

[PhilFleischmann]

More...

 

If you're interested, there are more in the Non-Gaming Discussion Section, under "FREd Captions." It includes ones from FREd (duh!), TUV, UMA, Champions, etc.

[BasilDrag]

Here or there?

 

Originally posted by PhilFleischmann

If you're interested, there are more in the Non-Gaming Discussion Section, under "FREd Captions." It includes ones from FREd (duh!), TUV, UMA, Champions, etc.

Yeah, but that hasn't been added to since the 11th.

 

What do folks think: should we captioneers hack our way through the political bull effluvium to throw 2d6 Resurrection on that thread, or continue here with books other than TUV, or make new threads (one per other book)?

 

--

The young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.

[Nato]

new thread per book

[BobGreenwade]

Originally posted by Nato

new thread per book

Ditto.