Jump to content

Longest Running Thread EVER


Recommended Posts

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER

 

You can live in the Midwest where...

1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.

2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.

3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.

4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"

5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

 

I can tell you that unless ou live in larger cities (Kansas City, St. Louis,Chicago, etc) these are true.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER

 

People out here suck at time... it's sad.

 

What time do we need to be there?

Four.

What time is it?

Three forty five we needed to leave twenty minutes ago.

Though you said it was at four?

AAARRRGGHHHH!!!!!

 

The idea of travel time is almost a foreign concept, and this from a place where crap is literally hundreds of miles apart. Drives me insane.

Yeah, and Portland is infamous for being among the worst at that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER

 

Winter is my favorite. The other months are too hot, and besides, I like the rain.

 

No, not enough to move to Seattle. God what a dreary place.

Winter for you is like late spring or eary fall for the rest of us!

 

Oddly, the coming of the overcast season seemed to help rouse me out of depression this year.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER

 

Definitely.. there's a certain "please kill me" thought process that comes with being contiuously damp 1/3 of the year.

The last time I was in the Carolinas during that hot, rainy time I felt like I was dying, like I couldn't breath...it was like trying to inhale a soaking wet hot wool blanket! :nonp:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER

 

The last time I was in the Carolinas during that hot' date=' rainy time I felt like I [i']was[/i] dying, like I couldn't breath...it was like trying to inhale a soaking wet hot wool blanket! :nonp:

Yeah, the humidity and heat are definitely worse here in WNC during the summer months, and it's hotter for a longer time period, but I realized upon visiting my family in July that New England heat and humidity is nothing to sneeze at, either.

 

And AC isn't as prevalent up north, either. I think the philosophy is that the heat won't last, so you gotta enjoy it while it does.

 

NC, on the other hand, has air conditioners running in the middle of winter, depending on where you go. :nonp:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER

 

Interesting.

 

Apparently, if you get repped for a post in a thread which subsequently gets deleted, you keep the rep points but lose the rep event from your "User CP". That's the only way I can understand a particular event.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER

 

Yeah' date=' the humidity and heat are definitely worse here in WNC during the summer months, and it's hotter for a longer time period, but I realized upon visiting my family in July that New England heat and humidity is nothing to sneeze at, either.[/quote']

 

The worst such weather I ever experienced was Washington, D.C. in June. The humidity was close to 100% and the heat was in three digits. Walking outside made me wish I could step into a sauna to cool down. Adding to the experience was that I was there with a particular woman who was asthmatic; I was constantly afraid that the combination of weather and pollution would kill her.

 

I later heard that D.C. is built on a reclaimed swamp. I believe it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER

 

The worst such weather I ever experienced was Washington, D.C. in June. The humidity was close to 100% and the heat was in three digits. Walking outside made me wish I could step into a sauna to cool down. Adding to the experience was that I was there with a particular woman who was asthmatic; I was constantly afraid that the combination of weather and pollution would kill her.

 

I later heard that D.C. is built on a reclaimed swamp. I believe it.

I know how that felt. The first time I went to DC was in the middle of July. I went with a school-type group, and we walked EVERYWHERE. Whenever we got to our destinations, I would just sit under the AC vents. I learned to get over my reluctance to drink plain water there, too. And when you consider how bad DC water tastes, that was quite a feat.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER

 

Since the last one got good responses (and rep ;) ) let's try another one, this time focused solely on this wonderful state I live in...

 

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, you know you're from California if:

 

1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $400,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

5. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian!

8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember . . . .is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. Both you AND your dog have a therapist.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license away. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER

 

And if that one didn't make you chuckle this one will.

 

 

Desired Salary Range

 

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young MBA fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

 

The candidate said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

 

The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"

 

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"

 

And the HR Person said, "Certainly, ...but you started it."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER

 

I know how that felt. The first time I went to DC was in the middle of July. I went with a school-type group' date=' and we walked EVERYWHERE. Whenever we got to our destinations, I would just sit under the AC vents. I learned to get over my reluctance to drink plain water there, too. And when you consider how bad DC water tastes, that was quite a feat.[/quote']

I was in DC over a 4th of July (amazing fireworks display) ... nearly died at the zoo.

 

I'll second how absolutely horridly terrible DC Water is.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER

 

I was in DC over a 4th of July (amazing fireworks display) ... nearly died at the zoo.

 

I'll second how absolutely horridly terrible DC Water is.

It's like they inject it with stuff that tastes bad on PURPOSE. Bleah.

 

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown' date=' and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian! [/quote']

I'm not from California, but I confess. My coffee beans MUST be free trade, Ethiopian. Sumatran beans are almost imperceptibly spicier, whereas Ethiopian are mildly sweet, with a slightly chocolatey taste.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER

 

HOMELAND SECURITY DEPARTMENT UNVEILS CHENEY ALERT SYSTEM

Color-coded System Would Warn Nation of Future Attacks by Veep

Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff announced today that his department would immediately implement a Cheney Alertsystem to warn Americans if an attack by Vice President Dick Cheney is imminent.

 

The Department of Homeland Security has been under pressure to respond to the widespread panic and anxiety that have gripped the nation since Mr. Cheney shot and wounded a fellow quail hunter while on a hunting trip in Texas over the weekend.

 

Across the country, people have holed up in their homes and hoarded food and water, fearing another senseless attack by the gun-toting vice president.

 

"What we have learned, the hard way, is that Dick Cheney can attack without warning," Mr. Chertoff said. "It is our hope that with this Cheney Alert system we will be able to give the American people some warning before he strikes again.

 

The alert system, with five color-coded levels indicating the likelihood of another brutal pellet attack by the Vice President, was derided by some in Congress such as Sen. Joseph Biden (D-Del), who likened it to "closing the barn door after the horses have escaped".

 

"The fact is, the White House already had ample warning that Dick Cheney was going to strike, and they sat on their hands and did nothing," Mr. Biden said, referring to a Presidential Daily Brief dated February 4 with the title, "Dick Cheney Determined to Strike in US".

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER

 

history-believe it or not

 

The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday school quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade ages in Ohio. They were collected over a period of three years by two teachers. Read carefully for grammar, misplaced modifiers, and of course, spelling! Kids should rule the world, as it would be a laugh a minute for us adults and therefore no time to war or argue.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

 

Ancient Egypt was old. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate Of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

 

Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandos. He died before he ever reached Canada but the commandos made it .

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

 

Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. He was an actual hysterical figure as well as being in the bible. It sounds Like he was sort of busy too.

 

------------------------------------------------------------

 

The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a young female moth.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

 

Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of wedlock . Which is apparently poisonous. After his death, his career suffered a Dramatic decline.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

In the first Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java. The games were messier then than they show on TV now.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out "Same to you, Brutus."

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

 

Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw for reasons I don't really understand. The English and French still have problems.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

 

Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen," As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah!" and that was the end of the fighting for a long while.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

 

It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

 

Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented Cigarettes and started smoking.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

 

Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper which was very dangerous to all his men.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

 

The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

 

Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He Wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Since then no one ever found it.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

 

Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by Rubbing two cats backward and also declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." He was a naturalist for sure. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

 

Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's Mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation.

 

_________________________________________________________________

 

On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got Shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

 

Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

 

Bethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf that he wrote loud music and became the father of rock and roll. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

 

The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

 

Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

 

Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits but I don't know why.

 

-----------------------------------------------------

 

Charles Darwin was a naturalist. He wrote the Organ of the Species. It was very long people got upset about it and had trials to see if it was really true. He sort of said God's days were not just 24 hours but without watches who knew anyhow? I don't get it.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

 

Madman Curie discovered radio. She was the first woman to do what she did. Other women have become scientists since her but they didn't get to find radios because they were already taken.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

 

Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers. The other three were in the movies. Karl made speeches and started revolutions. Someone in the family had to have a job, I guess

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...