Tim Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Re: The cranky thread You know what sucks? Having a huge responsibility, but having no authority. My Boss: You need to get a "Best Practices" going for this new division. Me: OK . OK, here's y'all's new Best Practices. Please begin implementing them immediately. Them: No. Me: It's not your call; you need to start doing this. Them: No. You can't make us. Me: Guess you're right. Hey boss, my task is complete, but they aren't doing it. Boss: Hey! Things are going to crap over there! What happened to those Best Practices I told you to write up? Me: I did it, they refused to implement it. I have no power to force them to, so it has languished. Boss: Well, make them implement it! Me: What authority do I have to do this? Boss: None. Me: Well then, we are at an impass. The BPs are ready to go, but if I have no authority to force them to use them, there is nothing further I can do. Boss: Well... come up with something! How about: Me: I have. YOU have the power and authority to tell them to implement this or else. You do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Re: The cranky thread Boss: I don't like your attitude. You're fired. (to colleagues) Yeah, the project failed. It was the bunny's fault. I fired him. When's our tee time? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Re: The cranky thread Boss: I don't like your attitude. You're fired. (to colleagues) Yeah, the project failed. It was the bunny's fault. I fired him. When's our tee time? Well he's setting him up for that anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Re: The cranky thread Well, my boss somewhat sympathizes. These guys have been dragging their feet the whole time, and I think pretty much the whole company recognizes that. I just don't want to be holding the bag when it comes to a head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MilkmanDan Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Re: The cranky thread Why does it take weeks to get a new laptop? My piece of crap work laptop died a while back, hard disk errors. They have me overnight it back to the home office in D.C., they "repair" it, send it back. After a week, it starts happening again. That was over two weeks ago, I still don't have a new one. I'm winding up sticking the stupid thing in the freezer a couple times a day for 20 minutes, at which point it works for a while again. It's a laptop! We just went through layoffs, so there are piles of computers without humans attached to them! Just pick one from the stack and send it to me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fiducia Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 Re: The cranky thread Dear Accounts Payable: When I give you a UPS Bill to pay for MBC backcharges, logic dictates that the check should be cut and addressed to the business that genereated the BILL, not the source of the backcharges. You've just made my life 10 times more difficult and what's worse you won't cop to the fact that you screwed up. Die in a fire. Fiducia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 Re: The cranky thread Why does it take weeks to get a new laptop? My piece of crap work laptop died a while back' date=' hard disk errors. They have me overnight it back to the home office in D.C., they "repair" it, send it back. After a week, it starts happening again. That was over two weeks ago, I still don't have a new one. I'm winding up sticking the stupid thing in the freezer a couple times a day for 20 minutes, at which point it works for a while again. It's a laptop! We just went through layoffs, so there are piles of computers without humans attached to them! Just pick one from the stack and send it to me![/quote'] Oh man, you have no idea how silly corps can get when it comes to laptops. The bean counters really get their panties in a bunch over who has what laptop when and for how long, because they're afraid they'll walk away or get stolen or whatever. Valid concerns, but at the end of the day here's an asset that's worth maybe a grand and you've got the equivalent of two full time people just tracking the things. I have to jump through several additional hoops to buy a laptop that I don't have to do to acquire a server that costs fifty times as much. The laptops are worthless compared to the information that's on them, usually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MilkmanDan Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 Re: The cranky thread Oh man' date=' you have no idea how silly corps can get when it comes to laptops. The bean counters really get their panties in a bunch over who has what laptop when and for how long, because they're afraid they'll walk away or get stolen or whatever. Valid concerns, but at the end of the day here's an asset that's worth maybe a grand and you've got the equivalent of two full time people just tracking the things. I have to jump through several additional hoops to buy a laptop that I don't have to do to acquire a server that costs fifty times as much. The laptops are worthless compared to the information that's on them, usually.[/quote'] The worst part? I've got an old laptop in my closet. Had had it for like four years, died a couple years back right after I moved. Put it to the side, it got buried, completely forgot about it. Nobody noticed. It's got several broken keys (I stepped on it), it's completely obsolete, and is junk, but nobody even noticed. I just haven't had a chance to recycle it yet. Yeah, not to overinflate my importance (but I'm going to), but I really, really need to be connected. There are very, very few people who understand the system I work on at all, and it's a really, really, really important system. I took Monday off for my son's birthday, and had 3 major crises and 57 emails when I checked that afternoon. I can't even get a status on the laptop request, let alone a new laptop. Sigh. Haven't had to use the freezer yet today, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 Re: The cranky thread My last laptop had an annoying tendency to overheat, but that's because I put a larger (and hotter) hard drive in it. I still have a selection of heat-sink-type objects in my office for that reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NinjaGeek Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 Re: The cranky thread You know what sucks? Having a huge responsibility, but having no authority. My Boss: You need to get a "Best Practices" going for this new division. Me: OK . OK, here's y'all's new Best Practices. Please begin implementing them immediately. Them: No. Me: It's not your call; you need to start doing this. Them: No. You can't make us. Me: Guess you're right. Hey boss, my task is complete, but they aren't doing it. Boss: Hey! Things are going to crap over there! What happened to those Best Practices I told you to write up? Me: I did it, they refused to implement it. I have no power to force them to, so it has languished. Boss: Well, make them implement it! Me: What authority do I have to do this? Boss: None. Me: Well then, we are at an impass. The BPs are ready to go, but if I have no authority to force them to use them, there is nothing further I can do. Boss: Well... come up with something! Does your boss have pointy hair? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted June 16, 2008 Report Share Posted June 16, 2008 Re: The cranky thread Every afternoon, around 1-1:30, I like to take a quick walk around the block. 20-30 minutes, just to get some sunlight and a little exercise. Last week, I was given a new assignment: Watch the door. When delivery people come by or someone has forgotten his/her keycard, I need to open it for them. Nobody else is allowed to open the door, due to security concerns. Fine. I'm the secondary guy, for when the primary guy is out. But for the last two weeks? The primary guy has been out almost every single day. So I can't take a dump, go to lunch, go to a meeting, or go on my little walk at all for the past two weeks. And I'm starting to go a little stir-crazy because of it. And here's the topper: I work from 7am to about 3:30pm. I have always worked those hours. Always. I told them that when they assigned me the doorman job. I explained that someone else had to do it after 3:30pm. So the first day I did it, I went home at 3:30. 4:00 rolls around and a delivery guy shows up. Nobody will open the door for him, because word came down From On High that no one was to open the door except me or the other guy. The next day when I got in, everyone was pissed at me because I f***ing left at my f***ing usual time and the regular guy is off dicking around somewhere else and can't be bothered to open the f***ing door, so I'm the one who catches s**t for it. And I can't go on my daily walk to blow off a little steam, so I'm a little pissed about the whole thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted June 17, 2008 Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 Re: The cranky thread I really hate the usajobs website. It gives me problems every time I try to log in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted June 17, 2008 Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 Re: The cranky thread Okay. For the past decade, marking shipments "received" when we, like, signed for them at the door was working just fine. So why the policy change? Because marking shipments "received" when they leave the shipper is now ruining my tuesday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archermoo Posted June 17, 2008 Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 Re: The cranky thread Okay. For the past decade' date=' marking shipments "received" when we, like, signed for them at the door was working just fine. So why the policy change? Because marking shipments "received" when they leave the shipper is now ruining my tuesday.[/quote'] So are they marking them "shipped" when they order them? And "ordered" when they decide they want them? Words are only useful if their definitions are at least more or less stable... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted June 17, 2008 Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 Re: The cranky thread Well, it's been a very educational tuesday. See, when we order stuff from the distributor, the distributor invoices us instantly upon shipping. If we wait until we actually get the stuff a week later before we invoice the customer, then we are left in the hole for a week until the stuff actually arrives, and then most customers wait the full net 30 and then some before they actually cut us a check. So it's a real cash flow problem and I understand why the policy was changed. Unfortunately, "received" for purposes of invoicing is now not the same as "received" for purposes of English. So when the sales rep got an email saying Customer Z's order was "received", he called up the customer and asked them when they wanted it installed (and the answer was, predictably, "stat"). Only the items are not here. They're thousands of miles away, and due to another unrelated error, it appears they are coming on a boat, not a plane. So now the rep has to let the client down, and there is no way to spin it other than that my organization is hopelessly fubar, which could affect repeat business. This is a $40,000 order, or as we refer to it in my department, a "two-Civic order." So we really ought to be a bit more on the ball, you know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archermoo Posted June 17, 2008 Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 Re: The cranky thread Well, it's been a very educational tuesday. See, when we order stuff from the distributor, the distributor invoices us instantly upon shipping. If we wait until we actually get the stuff a week later before we invoice the customer, then we are left in the hole for a week until the stuff actually arrives, and then most customers wait the full net 30 and then some before they actually cut us a check. So it's a real cash flow problem and I understand why the policy was changed. Unfortunately, "received" for purposes of invoicing is now not the same as "received" for purposes of English. So when the sales rep got an email saying Customer Z's order was "received", he called up the customer and asked them when they wanted it installed (and the answer was, predictably, "stat"). Only the items are not here. They're thousands of miles away, and due to another unrelated error, it appears they are coming on a boat, not a plane. So now the rep has to let the client down, and there is no way to spin it other than that my organization is hopelessly fubar, which could affect repeat business. This is a $40,000 order, or as we refer to it in my department, a "two-Civic order." So we really ought to be a bit more on the ball, you know? Sounds to me like a better way of dealing with it would be to either wait the net x days you have with your distributor before paying them, or to charge the customers when the status is "ordered" rather than "received". The second one is actually what you are doing, but it would be better to call it what it is. Not that you didn't already know that... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted June 17, 2008 Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 Re: The cranky thread Exactly. But really, in order for this particular snafu to occur, five separate unrelated errors had to be committed, each by different people. The policy change is only one of those. It's one of those things where all you can do is shake your head and sigh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archermoo Posted June 17, 2008 Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 Re: The cranky thread Exactly. But really' date=' in order for this particular snafu to occur, five separate unrelated errors had to be committed, each by different people. The policy change is only one of those. It's one of those things where all you can do is shake your head and sigh.[/quote'] Yeah, I know what you mean. I learned long ago not to promise anything based on something being in stock unless I had personally seen it with my own eyes. And even then I'd generally hedge my bets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lemming Posted June 17, 2008 Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 Re: The cranky thread Could be worse: The sales rep could of been doing an order to get a bonus when the customer didn't even sign for it. Installer arrives to have the customer say "Get this crap out of here, we never bought it" And yes, the sales rep was fired and the stupid policy of rewarding sales people at time of "sale" was revised. I don't think the money was recovered since it seemed to have gone up her nose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted June 17, 2008 Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 Re: The cranky thread Well' date=' my boss somewhat sympathizes. These guys have been dragging their feet the whole time, and I think pretty much the whole company recognizes that. I just don't want to be holding the bag when it comes to a head.[/quote'] Knowing where you work? That sentence makes me laugh and laugh and laugh... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted June 17, 2008 Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 Re: The cranky thread Not so much cranky as...wanna hear something funny? You know I got fired for making a boo boo right? Turns out the assistant manager at the other branch in Corvallis apparently, knowing that the funds were not going to be covered by the bad check, and knowing I was fired for this, removed the legal hold and let the customer take 3grand. My ...er, former boss, called and spent the better part of the afternoon trying to tear out his throat over the phone and then called the customer and demanded that she bring back the money or they would call the police. good times. And, my secret admirer was told I no longer work at the bank and she freaked out. On the annoying side, I'm using the POWER OF THE INTERNET to find my new job and there is a depressingly high number of employment scams going on. Half the job postings I see promise 10k a month for working at home. That'd be nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted June 17, 2008 Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 Re: The cranky thread Could be worse: The sales rep could of been doing an order to get a bonus when the customer didn't even sign for it. Installer arrives to have the customer say "Get this crap out of here, we never bought it" And yes, the sales rep was fired and the stupid policy of rewarding sales people at time of "sale" was revised. I don't think the money was recovered since it seemed to have gone up her nose. Back in the good old days of the bubble, there were some sales orgs that compensated their reps on gross sales... not gross profit. So what did the reps do? Sell lots and lots and lots of stuff, at a loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrosshairCollie Posted June 17, 2008 Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 Re: The cranky thread So, almost every drain unclogger in the universe says 'not for use in toilets'. I finally find one that does. It consists of sixteen ounces of VIRGIN SULFURIC ACID. IT'S NOT WORKING. I need to find some slutty sulfuric acid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SatinKitty Posted June 17, 2008 Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 Re: The cranky thread I'm not even gonna ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted June 17, 2008 Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 Re: The cranky thread I just use a plunger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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