Vondy Posted July 25, 2018 Report Share Posted July 25, 2018 Best way to avoid awkward conversations in an airport bar: Take our a pen and start drawing a pyramid on a napkin. "Do you have $250 and a driving desire to build networks?" Or, "Are you married?" "Yes, twice. Never divorced. I'm flying from one to see the other right now. How about you?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted October 17, 2018 Report Share Posted October 17, 2018 The Reeve of Beeve from "The MOO Treasury of Inexplicable Doggerel", volume DCLXVI, "Quasi-pornographic Marginalia". The Reeve of Beeve Lived in a dingy old hut That wind had nearly blown over. The Reeve of Beeve Lived with an underaged slut Who rolled him over in clover. The Reeve of Beeve Was a filthy old waste His face at the sheriff's on a poster, The Reeve of Beeve Fled town all in haste Lest on capture they put his nuts in a roaster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 17, 2018 Report Share Posted October 17, 2018 Cancer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tech Posted October 17, 2018 Report Share Posted October 17, 2018 Ahem.................. moo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted October 17, 2018 Report Share Posted October 17, 2018 moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjalund Posted October 18, 2018 Report Share Posted October 18, 2018 ...muon... Cancer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted October 26, 2018 Report Share Posted October 26, 2018 sMOOchy sMOOchy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted October 26, 2018 Report Share Posted October 26, 2018 Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 5, 2018 Report Share Posted November 5, 2018 MOO WINS THE TITLE (move over, Leicester City) Cows of the World, Unite! win the final match of the season, on the road, to win the Weekly Electronic Football Simulation championship, in the league's 24th season. It was #1 (Cows of the World, Unite!, MOO) at #2 (Singingirls), at O Sambodromo, in front of the largest crowd in league history. MOO were 1 point ahead going into Week 30, but defending champions SIN were looking to upset the Cows and force a playoff with IFE (Italy Forever, who had won earlier in the day to move 2 points ahead of MOO with one more game played) repeat as league champions. A draw and IFE would take the title; a SIN win meant SIN and IFE would have a one-game playoff for the championship; if MOO wins, they win the title outright. MOO placed second last season. As recently as Season 21 MOO had been in the Second Division. The home team scored first, but the cows stampeded back .... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ *** MATCH REPORT *** Match 30: Singingirls (#2 in Elite) hosts Cows of the world, unite! (#1 in Elite) After insane advertising, 119151 fans showed up to O Sambodromo Match seed: 74683856 Starting lineups ---------------- SIN (B) Coach (-------) GK 4792 Anna Calvi DF 5955 Gokce Kilincer DF 5822 Yasmine Hamdan DF 5616 Aline Frazao MF 5848 Rhiannon Giddens MF 5301 Leyla McCalla MF 5804 Monica Martin MF 4950 Emel Mathlouthi MF 4655 Patrizia Laquidara FW 5901 Mon Laferte FW 5475 La Yegros S1 5596 Ozlem Bulut S2 5446 Melody Gardot MOO Coach (------) GK 5297 _ MOOmintroll DF 5496 _ MOOsilage DF 5118 Ep Oxy DF 5271 Cow Orker MF 5656 _ SMOORSH MF 5497 Dairy Gible MF 5913 Claude MOOnet MF 4944 Lantern Kicker MF 5657 Cowvert Operation FW 5844 Berthe MOOrisat FW 5119 Ox Calibur S1 4785 ToSir WithLoin S2 4786 Wooly BullyBeef S3 5429 Beef OreTheDeluge S4 4470 AmMOOnium OxHide S5 5927 The MOOnies Officials from Germany: referee Hellmut Krug assistant referee #1 Bernd Kuhn assistant referee #2 Hans Wolf Chronology for the match: Min 1: Pheeeep! Referee Krug signals the kick-off! Min 1: >>> Paolo shakes hands with John&Jeff Min 1: Gokce Kilincer (SIN DF) gets orders to mark. Min 1: Aline Frazao (SIN DF) gets orders to mark. Min 1: Leyla McCalla (SIN MF) pushes forward. Min 1: Mon Laferte (SIN FW) drops back. Min 1: La Yegros (SIN FW) drops back. Min 1: MOO adopts ball controlling tactic. Min 1: _ MOOsilage (MOO DF) gets orders to mark. Min 1: Ep Oxy (MOO DF) gets orders to mark and starts playing passively. Min 1: _ SMOORSH (MOO MF) moves wide. Min 1: Dairy Gible (MOO MF) moves wide. Min 1: Lantern Kicker (MOO MF) drops back. Min 1: Berthe MOOrisat (MOO FW) drops back. Min 1: Ox Calibur (MOO FW) drops back. Min 1: Leyla McCalla (SIN MF) is getting marked by _ MOOsilage. Min 1: La Yegros (SIN FW) is getting marked by Ep Oxy. Min 1: Ox Calibur (MOO FW) is getting marked by Gokce Kilincer. Min 1: Dairy Gible (MOO MF) is getting marked by Aline Frazao. Min 5: SIN decent long-range shot by Leyla McCalla ... ... misses by a whisker! Min 6: SIN decent volley by Emel Mathlouthi ... ... goes through the keeper's legs! GOAL!!! ... score now: SIN 1 - MOO 0 Min 6: >>> The MOOligans are flinging cow pies on the pitch. Min 10: MOO good volley by Cowvert Operation ... ... is hastily hoofed clear by DF Yasmine Hamdan! Min 11: SIN good volley by Mon Laferte ... ... is headed clear by FW Ox Calibur! Min 12: MOO good header by _ SMOORSH ... ... is unstoppable! GOAL!!! ... Cowvert Operation is credited with the assist. ... score now: SIN 1 - MOO 1 Min 16: Berthe MOOrisat (MOO FW) heads the ball away from Gokce Kilincer (SIN DF). Min 17: MOO excellent long-range shot by _ MOOsilage ... ... assistant referee Kuhn judges the play to be marginally offside! Min 19: MOO win an indirect free kick, which is taken by Lantern Kicker ... ... the cross is deflected to Cowvert Operation, whose good volley ... ... is drilled low into the goal! GOAL!!! ... score now: SIN 1 - MOO 2 Min 23: SIN promising header by Emel Mathlouthi ... ... is knocked to a teammate by DF Ep Oxy! Min 23: SIN promising long shot by Yasmine Hamdan ... ... is saved acrobatically by GK _ MOOmintroll! Min 25: Patrizia Laquidara (SIN MF) handles the ball just outside the box ... ... referee Krug surprises the crowd by ignoring the foul. Min 26: Monica Martin (SIN MF) is firmly stopped by _ SMOORSH (MOO MF). Min 27: MOO excellent volley by _ SMOORSH ... ... is punted upfield by MF Emel Mathlouthi! Min 29: SIN promising shot by Mon Laferte ... ... is saved with a confident wink by GK _ MOOmintroll! Min 32: Mon Laferte (SIN FW) commits a foul, ruining the attack! Min 33: MOO smart play releases _ SMOORSH, whose good shot ... ... the shot is unstoppable! GOAL!!! ... but assistant referee Kuhn's flag is up! The goal is disallowed! Min 34: Yasmine Hamdan (SIN DF) slides desperately to intercept a pass from _ MOOsilage (MOO DF). Min 41: MOO good long-range shot by Cowvert Operation ... ... is unstoppable! GOAL!!! ... Claude MOOnet is credited with the assist. ... score now: SIN 1 - MOO 3 Min 41: Ox Calibur (MOO FW) starts playing passively. Min 45: Pheeeep! Referee Krug signals the end of the first half! Half-time score: SIN 1 - MOO 3 [ 4 - 5 ] Min 46: Pheeeep! Referee Krug gets the second half on the way! Min 50: SIN decent long-range shot by Emel Mathlouthi ... ... is well wide! Min 50: MOO excellent effort by _ SMOORSH ... ... assistant referee Wolf judges the play to be marginally offside! Min 52: SIN make a quick pass to Monica Martin, whose decent shot ... ... is saved with a gentle burp by GK _ MOOmintroll! Min 55: SIN promising long-range shot by Monica Martin ... ... is hastily hoofed clear by DF Cow Orker! Min 56: MOO promising shot by Berthe MOOrisat ... ... is scrambled around the post by GK Anna Calvi! Min 56: Ox Calibur (MOO FW) handles the ball just outside the box ... ... referee Krug awards SIN a direct free kick! ... Leyla McCalla takes the kick ... ... the shot is scrambled over the bar by GK _ MOOmintroll! Min 58: Rhiannon Giddens (SIN MF) trips Dairy Gible just outside the box ... ... referee Krug surprises the crowd by ignoring the foul. Min 61: SIN good header by Rhiannon Giddens ... ... dips over the bar! Min 65: MOO win a corner kick, which is taken by Lantern Kicker ... ... the cross finds _ SMOORSH, whose promising volley ... ... is held comfortably by GK Anna Calvi! Min 72: SIN promising chance by Emel Mathlouthi ... ... is deflected inches wide by MF Claude MOOnet! Min 73: MOO excellent effort by Claude MOOnet ... ... is knocked to a teammate by DF Yasmine Hamdan! Min 73: Dairy Gible (MOO MF) forces a bad pass from Monica Martin (SIN MF). Min 79: SIN promising header by Rhiannon Giddens ... ... is saved easily by GK _ MOOmintroll! Min 85: MOO smart play releases Lantern Kicker, whose promising header ... ... beats the helpless keeper! GOAL!!! ... Claude MOOnet is credited with the assist. ... score now: SIN 1 - MOO 4 Min 87: SIN make a quick pass to Emel Mathlouthi, whose promising header ... ... swerves well away from the goal! Min 90: MOO promising shot by Cowvert Operation ... ... is hastily hoofed clear by DF Yasmine Hamdan! Min 90: Aline Frazao (SIN DF) is told to sub out ... ... she walks off the pitch ... ... Ozlem Bulut enters the field. Min 90: Ozlem Bulut (SIN DF) gets orders to mark. Min 90: MOO adopts stalling tactic. Min 90: _ SMOORSH (MOO MF) drops back and starts playing passively. Min 90: Dairy Gible (MOO MF) drops back and starts playing passively. Min 90: Berthe MOOrisat (MOO FW) is told to sub out ... ... she walks off the pitch ... ... Wooly BullyBeef enters the field. Min 90: Cowvert Operation (MOO MF) drops back and starts playing passively. Min 90: Wooly BullyBeef (MOO FW) drops back and starts playing passively. Min 90: Pheeeep! Referee Krug blows the final whistle! Final score: SIN 1 - MOO 4 Game summary (lineups at the end of game): ------------------------------------------ SIN hosts MOO: 1 - 4 [ 9 (1 fk) - 9 ] SIN (B) GK Anna Calvi (-4:0 0 0 2) DF Gokce Kilincer (0:0 0 0 0) marked O. Calibur DF Yasmine Hamdan (0:1 0 3 0) DF Aline Frazao (0:0 0 0 0) subbed @90 marked D. Gible DF Ozlem Bulut (0:0 0 0 0) entered @90 MF Rhiannon Giddens (0:2 0 0 0) MF > Leyla McCalla (0:2 0 0 0) MF Monica Martin (0:1 0 0 0) MF Emel Mathlouthi (1:3 0 1 0) MF Patrizia Laquidara (0:0 0 0 0) FW < Mon Laferte (0:1 0 0 0) FW < La Yegros (0:0 0 0 0) MOO (S) GK _ MOOmintroll (-1:0 0 0 5) DF _ MOOsilage (0:1 0 0 0) marked L. McCalla DF Ep Oxy (0:0 0 1 0) marked L. Yegros DF Cow Orker (0:0 0 1 0) MF < _ SMOORSH (1:4 0 0 0) MF < Dairy Gible (0:0 0 0 0) MF Claude MOOnet (0:0 2 1 0) MF < Lantern Kicker (1:1 0 0 0) MF < Cowvert Operation (2:2 1 0 0) FW < Berthe MOOrisat (0:1 0 0 0) subbed @90 FW < Ox Calibur (0:0 0 1 0) FW < Wooly BullyBeef (0:0 0 0 0) entered @90 Three stars of the match are: *** MOO FW C. Operation ** MOO MF _. SMOORSH * MOO MF C. MOOnet Offsides: SIN: 0 MOO: 3 Elite Final Standings Team Games LP Goal Differential Fate (E = retained in Elite; Q = to Qualifiers; S = relegation to Second; C = Champion) +++++++++++++++++++++ MOO 30 60 +32 EC (MOO's 1st WEFS Championship) IFE 30 59 +25 E HEL 30 57 +24 E SIN 30 56 +26 E PDX 30 54 +30 E BBT 30 51 +25 E MMO 30 50 +16 E WMW 30 42 +5 E BOM 30 42 -12 E MEX 30 34 -22 E ------------------- FOL 30 33 -26 Q DJ 30 32 -11 Q ------------------- VA 30 31 -9 S WAC 30 30 -18 S WCW 30 26 -31 S BMC 30 14 -50 S Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 6, 2018 Report Share Posted November 6, 2018 MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted November 6, 2018 Report Share Posted November 6, 2018 Meuh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 16, 2018 Report Share Posted November 16, 2018 The official league results proclaiming MOO's championship are here. MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted November 16, 2018 Report Share Posted November 16, 2018 Sounds like a lot of bull. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 16, 2018 Report Share Posted November 16, 2018 You have no idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted November 17, 2018 Report Share Posted November 17, 2018 The no-eye deer is over there. *points* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnia Posted November 17, 2018 Report Share Posted November 17, 2018 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 17, 2018 Report Share Posted November 17, 2018 12 hours ago, Logan.1179 said: Sounds like a lot of bull. I'm giving you a laugh on your post not because of your comment, but because I love your avatar so much. Also, moo. Lucius 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted November 17, 2018 Report Share Posted November 17, 2018 3 minutes ago, Pariah said: I'm giving you a laugh on your post not because of your comment, but because I love your avatar so much. Also, moo. Thanks for pointing out that avatar, I missed it. Also, moo. Lucius Alexander The palindromedary chews its duc Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnia Posted November 17, 2018 Report Share Posted November 17, 2018 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 18, 2018 Report Share Posted November 18, 2018 For those about to moo We salute moo For those about to moo We salute moo .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted November 18, 2018 Report Share Posted November 18, 2018 Why Mathematicians Can’t Find the Hay in a Haystack In math, sometimes the most common things are the hardest to find. https://www.quantamagazine.org/why-mathematicians-cant-find-the-hay-in-a-haystack-20180917/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted November 28, 2018 Report Share Posted November 28, 2018 A cow in Australia is almost as tall as Michael Jordan, and his size actually saved his life https://www.thisisinsider.com/this-cow-is-an-absolute-unit-2018-11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted December 4, 2018 Report Share Posted December 4, 2018 mOo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted December 4, 2018 Report Share Posted December 4, 2018 On 11/27/2018 at 8:17 PM, Bazza said: A cow in Australia is almost as tall as Michael Jordan, and his size actually saved his life https://www.thisisinsider.com/this-cow-is-an-absolute-unit-2018-11 Holy . . . ah, never mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted December 4, 2018 Report Share Posted December 4, 2018 Also this; https://mobile.abc.net.au/news/2018-11-29/a-defence-of-knickers-the-giant-steer/10567066 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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