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A Thread for Random Mooings

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Guest Suleyman Rashid

Re: A Thread for Random Mooings

 

Moo.

 

It took me a while to realize that the actor playing the agent who chases Trinity in the opening scenes of the first Matrix movie is also the guy who played Sark the Psycho Psychic in Farscape.

 

Same sort of realization that the guy who played Yorgi the Russian Terrorist in the first XXX was also Celeborn the Elf-King in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

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Re: A Thread for Random Mooings

 

And now, a Bovine Christmas carol:

The Little Repetitive Cow

 

Come they told me

Pa Moo moo moo moo

A new born King to see

Pa Moo moo moo moo

Our finest gifts we bring

Pa Moo moo moo moo

To lay before the King

Pa Moo moo moo moo,

Moo moo moo moo,

Moo moo moo moo

So to honor Him

Pa Moo moo moo moo

When we come

 

Little baby

Pa Moo moo moo moo

I am a poor cow too

Pa Moo moo moo moo

I have no gift to bring

Pa Moo moo moo moo

That's fit to give our King

Pa Moo moo moo moo,

Moo moo moo moo,

Moo moo moo moo

Shall I moo for you

Pa Moo moo moo moo

With my Moo

 

Mary nodded

Pa Moo moo moo moo

The ox and lamb kept time

Pa Moo moo moo moo

I mooed my moo for Him

Pa Moo moo moo moo

I mooed my best for Him

Pa Moo moo moo moo,

Moo moo moo moo,

Moo moo moo moo

The He smiled at me

Pa Moo moo moo moo

WHEN I FINALLY SHUT UP!!!!

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Re: A Thread for Random Mooings

 

There is no MOO but the MOO that cannot be seen, heard, or felt.

 

To understand this, sit in a field and chew your cud until enlightenment occurs.

 

When you achieve enlightenment, you will become a Superior Cow, an Enlightened One, and rather than make Big Macs and Kal Kan out of you they will render you into kosher franks, corned beef brisket, and Science Diet for cats. The truly Superior Cows also have their hide sewn into Official American Conference NFL footballs and appear fleetingly on national television while illiterate criminal steroid junkies parade spasmodically in the end zones in their bloodthirsty pagan victory dances.

 

If this arrangement still seems unsatisfactory, then you are far from enlightenment and have much field-sitting and cud-chewing to do.

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Re: A Thread for Random Mooings

 

There is no MOO but the MOO that cannot be seen, heard, or felt.

 

To understand this, sit in a field and chew your cud until enlightenment occurs.

 

When you achieve enlightenment, you will become a Superior Cow, an Enlightened One, and rather than make Big Macs and Kal Kan out of you they will render you into kosher franks, corned beef brisket, and Science Diet for cats. The truly Superior Cows also have their hide sewn into Official American Conference NFL footballs and appear fleetingly on national television while illiterate criminal steroid junkies parade spasmodically in the end zones in their bloodthirsty pagan victory dances.

 

If this arrangement still seems unsatisfactory, then you are far from enlightenment and have much field-sitting and cud-chewing to do.

 

Heh. Of course footballs (when they were still made of real leather) were actually made of pig-leather I believe. But mooving nonetheless...

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Re: A Thread for Random Mooings

 

Moo, I say to thee! Moo!

 

What's really bizarre is that I sometimes call John "Moo." Makes for some really bizarre eavesdropping at work.

 

"Hi, Moo!"

"Heya, Moo."

"I love you, Moo."

 

I get the weirdest looks sometimes.

 

Michelle

aka

Samuraiko

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Re: A Thread for Random Mooings

 

Ninety years ago this MOOnth, phosgene gas was used for the first time in World War I.

 

With "an odor like new-mown hay", the gas wiped out the French Bovine Colonial division at Le Mort Boeuf near Verdun, when the troops charged headlong into what seemed to them like the best meal since they left the meadows of their homeland. The famous Welsh poet Wilfred Owen (himself killed in action in 1918) wrote of the incident, "What passing bells for these who die as cattle?" (though of course he spelled it without using any vowels).

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Re: A Thread for Random Mooings

 

Knock Knock.

 

Who's there?

 

Moo.

 

Moo Who?

 

 

 

Knock Knock.

 

Who's there?

 

Moo.

 

Moo who?

 

 

Knock Knock.

 

Who's there?

 

Moo.

 

Moo who?

 

 

 

Knock Knock.

 

Who's there?

 

Orange?

 

Orange who?

 

Orange you glad I didn't say Moo?

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Re: A Thread for Random Mooings

 

COWS CRUCIAL IN THEORY OF EVERYTHING

 

In Scientific American or Physics Today or one of those propeller-head rags in the last month or so was described a cow-pie-in-the-sky plan for a particle accelerator, the Shagadelic MOOon Collider (ShMuC). ShMuC will generate huge numbers of MOOons in a Holstein-Holstein collier ring first, then take the resulting MOOons and accelerate them to BFeV energies (1 BFeV = one shagzillion electron volts, alternately described as about three firkins shy of a troy scruple or a couple crayons short of a full box) in oppositely circulating rings. The two beams of MOOons will be herded into colliding in a detector facility somewhere outside of Bovina, Texas. Funding for the project is being provided by selling off some boullion reserves, and sales of grandstand seats around the collision point, marketing it as "kinda like WWF but with cows on rocket sleds, kinda".

 

Most of the collision events will be uninteresting (to physicists, anyway) and result only in Vienna sausages and splattered steak and kidney pie, but a few are expected to form the elusive Piggs boson, which in some theories causes mass. (Mass what has never been elucidated.) Finding the Piggs would be a key step on ToE, the Theory of Everything, and the discovery of Piggs resulting from high-energy bovine collisions will disrupt kosher delicatessens everywhere.

 

A technical problem is that MOOons are quite unstable (which comes as no real surprise) so cooling the MOOons enough to get good collision rates cannot be done by standard techniques. No one knows how to keep MOOons within Health Department temperature guidelines while accelerating them up to near light speed. Several fast-food burger chains are reported to be interested in the technology once it is developed, however.

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