Cancer Posted January 1, 2018 Report Share Posted January 1, 2018 You've already peed two and a half liters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted January 1, 2018 Report Share Posted January 1, 2018 You had one glass and it was the size of a bucket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 1, 2018 Report Share Posted January 1, 2018 You tell the police officer, "Take me drunk, I'm home again." New Topic: NFL teams' surprising New Year's resolutions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psybolt Posted January 1, 2018 Report Share Posted January 1, 2018 3 hours ago, Pariah said: New Topic: NFL teams' surprising New Year's resolutions. Cleveland Browns: To join the new XFL league. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 2, 2018 Report Share Posted January 2, 2018 3 hours ago, Pariah said: New Topic: NFL teams' surprising New Year's resolutions. To build a new billion-dollar football palace (at taxpayer expense, of course) in Birmingham, Alabama and then not even give them a whiff of actually getting a team there. It ends up being used for tractor pulls and bull-riding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted January 2, 2018 Report Share Posted January 2, 2018 The San Francisco 49ers resolve to make new team uniforms that won't bend at the knee. NT: Surprisingly good things that will happen in 2018 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 2, 2018 Report Share Posted January 2, 2018 I'll actually finish a book for once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted January 2, 2018 Report Share Posted January 2, 2018 1 hour ago, Pariah said: I'll actually finish a book for once. (And then he'll color another one...) Just kidding. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 2, 2018 Report Share Posted January 2, 2018 1 hour ago, BoloOfEarth said: (And then he'll color another one...) Just kidding. I don't care who you are, that's funny right there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 2, 2018 Report Share Posted January 2, 2018 5 hours ago, BoloOfEarth said: NT: Surprisingly good things that will happen in 2018 Marvel Studios will realize that having 25 superheroes in the same movie is overkill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 6, 2018 Report Share Posted January 6, 2018 On 1/2/2018 at 5:38 AM, BoloOfEarth said: NT: Surprisingly good things that will happen in 2018 A lottery winner will do something intelligent and helpful with the money. Of course, since there is no value of "something intelligent and useful" that includes playing the lottery in the first place, we might have to wait a while. NT: Subtle signs your rich uncle has once again left you out of his will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 6, 2018 Report Share Posted January 6, 2018 2 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A lottery winner will do something intelligent and helpful with the money. Of course, since there is no value of "something intelligent and useful" that includes playing the lottery in the first place, we might have to wait a while. NT: Subtle signs your rich uncle has once again left you out of his will. You're still getting bills from the lawyer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psybolt Posted January 6, 2018 Report Share Posted January 6, 2018 2 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: NT: Subtle signs your rich uncle has once again left you out of his will. Your taxes just went up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 6, 2018 Report Share Posted January 6, 2018 11 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: NT: Subtle signs your rich uncle has once again left you out of his will. He's just installed a gold-plated swimming pool...and then filled it with gold coins. New Topic: The President's most recent tweet that shows, remarkably, that he's actually paying attention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 6, 2018 Report Share Posted January 6, 2018 3 hours ago, Pariah said: New Topic: The President's most recent tweet that shows, remarkably, that he's actually paying attention. "My aides told me the crowd gathered outside the White House is waving "pitchforks" and "torches". I had to look up what those were. Ouch." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted January 6, 2018 Report Share Posted January 6, 2018 3 hours ago, Pariah said: He's just installed a gold-plated swimming pool...and then filled it with gold coins. New Topic: The President's most recent tweet that shows, remarkably, that he's actually paying attention. "I am paying attention too much! Attention is overpaid! What is Attention doing to earn all that money?" Lucius Alexander Paying attention to a palindromedary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted January 6, 2018 Report Share Posted January 6, 2018 10 hours ago, Pariah said: New Topic: The President's most recent tweet that shows, remarkably, that he's actually paying attention. "That whole big button thing? Turns out launching nukes is a whole lot more complex than that. Who'd a thunk it?" NT: So, if it doesn't launch nukes, what does that big button on the President's desk actually do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psybolt Posted January 7, 2018 Report Share Posted January 7, 2018 2 hours ago, BoloOfEarth said: NT: So, if it doesn't launch nukes, what does that big button on the President's desk actually do? Says, "That was easy." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted January 7, 2018 Report Share Posted January 7, 2018 3 hours ago, BoloOfEarth said: "That whole big button thing? Turns out launching nukes is a whole lot more complex than that. Who'd a thunk it?" NT: So, if it doesn't launch nukes, what does that big button on the President's desk actually do? It is simply a giant emoji - when pressed the President will get a large cream pie in his face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 7, 2018 Report Share Posted January 7, 2018 4 hours ago, BoloOfEarth said: NT: So, if it doesn't launch nukes, what does that big button on the President's desk actually do? It makes flaultulent noises. The President pushes it constantly, giggling the whole time. New Topic: The Cleveland Browns have just announced a surprise hire to try to turn their season around next year. Who is it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psybolt Posted January 7, 2018 Report Share Posted January 7, 2018 26 minutes ago, Pariah said: New Topic: The Cleveland Browns have just announced a surprise hire to try to turn their season around next year. Who is it? David Copperfield Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 7, 2018 Report Share Posted January 7, 2018 13 hours ago, Pariah said: New Topic: The Cleveland Browns have just announced a surprise hire to try to turn their season around next year. Who is it? LaVar Ball, because it's working so well for the Lakers and that minor-league team in Lithuania. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted January 7, 2018 Report Share Posted January 7, 2018 Sean Spicer to spin every defeat into victory New Topic: Unexpected things from the cold spell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 7, 2018 Report Share Posted January 7, 2018 11 minutes ago, death tribble said: New Topic: Unexpected things from the cold spell Explosive backfire, 2 dice of Blast damage originating in the caster's hex, with fire/incendiary special effects Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted January 7, 2018 Report Share Posted January 7, 2018 1 hour ago, death tribble said: New Topic: Unexpected things from the cold spell The letter "Q" - because you don't spell "cold" with the letter "Q". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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