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NGD Scenes from a Hat


Hermit
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11 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

NT: Subtle signs your relatives don't give a **** whether you catch Covid this thanksgiving.

 

They're agents in an essential oils MLM scheme, and they keep talking about the benefits of Essence of Lavender or some damn thing as the cure for all ills.

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On 11/19/2020 at 8:21 AM, death tribble said:

New Topic: What shops are dreading to stock as a Black Friday bargain (Difficult: No Covid jokes)

The all-new, all-improved Bring-Out-the-Dessert-Inator from Doofenschmirtz Evil Incorporated! Complete with a handy self-destruct button!

 

NT: Subtle signs that maybe the Grinch was right all along.

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12 hours ago, BoloOfEarth said:

NT:  Things you never thought you'd be thankful for, but you are thankful for them in 2020.  (Bonus points if they're not election related)

 

Distance learning.

 

New Topic: Novel reasons to drink in 2020.

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17 hours ago, Pariah said:

New Topic: Novel reasons to drink in 2020.

 

17 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

I haven't finished writing my latest bestseller yet.

 

I see what you did there.  :winkgrin:

 

 

17 hours ago, Pariah said:

New Topic: Novel reasons to drink in 2020.

 

So you're better prepared to deal with the MAGA / anti-masker crowd.

 

New Topic:    Unusual and amusing side effects from the coronavirus vaccine.

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1 hour ago, BoloOfEarth said:

New Topic:    Unusual and amusing side effects from the coronavirus vaccine.

 

Nausea, vomiting, water weight gain, lower back pain, receding hairline, eczema, seborrhea, psoriasis, itchy chafing clothing, liver spots, blood clots, ringworm, excessive body odor, uneven tire wear, pyorrhea, gonorrhea, diarrhea, halitosis, scoliosis, loss of bladder control, hammertoes, the shanks, low sperm count, warped floors, cluttered drawers, hunchback, heart attack, low resale value on your home, feline leukemia, athlete's foot, head lice, club foot, MS, MD, VD, fleas, anxiety, sleeplessness, drowsiness, poor gas mileage, tooth decay, split ends, parvo, warts, unibrow, lazy eye, fruit flies, chest pains, clogged drains, hemorrhoids, dry heaving, and sexual dysfunction.

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14 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

NT: Subtle signs your high school English teacher no longer finds your antics amusing.

 

"Mr McGee?  Mr Rogers?  Please dip Mr [Cancer]'s pen cap in 1-to-4 diluted sulfuric acid and put it in his mouth again, please."

 

(Explanation: When I have stick pen with a cap, I chew on my pen caps in class.  In Physics, the period before English, one day my two friends nipped off with my pen, dunked the cap in the acid that was in the wet cell battery that was the experiment that day.  Half an hour later shortly after English class started, I put the pen cap in my mouth and all my salivary glands shrieked in outrage, and I got up and strode out of class without asking permission, and ran water through my mouth for a couple of minutes at the fountain in the hall.  When I came back my two friends were laughing, but apparently they had explained what had happened while I was out, because I was not called to task for barging out of class suddenly.)

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