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NGD Scenes from a Hat


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It involves Rush Limbaugh, Roseanne Barr, Justin Beiber, Miley Cyrus, quick drying cement and a pair of oranges

Sam the Eagle, for the one comment, "All of you are werid."

Forty-seven immaculately dressed rich twits who in the on-camera aftermath of enjoying a haggis-and-ale feast, simultaneously scream "I ate WHAT?!?" and bolt for a place to puke after being told what

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

 

New Topic: Spoon!!!

 

"And your question is . . . what is an overrated indie rock band?"

 

NT: Tonight begins my second session as a volunteer soccer coach for first-grade boys. What's a good way to utterly alienate them and keep them from wanting to play soccer ever again?

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NT: Tonight begins my second session as a volunteer soccer coach for first-grade boys. What's a good way to utterly alienate them and keep them from wanting to play soccer ever again?

 

Show up dressed as Beckham. Victoria Beckham.

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NT: Tonight begins my second session as a volunteer soccer coach for first-grade boys. What's a good way to utterly alienate them and keep them from wanting to play soccer ever again?

 

"All right, everybody, listen up. Before we go out onto the field, you need to understand the physics behind soccer. Now, if you look at the equations on the blackboard behind me... don't worry, kids, in a few months you should understand this well enough that we can start playing actual soccer..."

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NT: Spectacularly unpatriotic things to do. Difficulty: No mention of Communism if American, Facism for Italy and Germany and Terrorism generally.

And try at least to be funny.

 

"That was a wonderful, inspiring rendition of the Star Spangled Banner. Just one question -- aren't you from North Korea?"

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NT: Spectacularly unpatriotic things to do. Difficulty: No mention of Communism if American, Facism for Italy and Germany and Terrorism generally.

And try at least to be funny.

 

"Hi, I'm a Democrat."

 

NT: I have a particularly unpatriotic form of pastry. What should I call it?

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NT: I have a particularly unpatriotic form of pastry. What should I call it?

 

"What? A Kaiser Roll? Why, when I fought under General Pershing, we were trying to stop the Kaiser. What kind of vet do you take me for. Dang kids...."

 

 

 

NT: It began as a fad, but now has become a movement. What is It?

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NT: Superhero endorsements for craft brewery products.

 

"Hi, I'm Wolverine, and if you don't stop drinking that godawful, bland pisswater brewed by major corporations, I will hunt you down and stab you in the stinking head."

 

I'm with you, Woverine.

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NT: Superhero endorsements for craft brewery products.

"They call me the Man Without Fear. What's my secret?"

 

:Pours from a bottle. Label on the bottle reads 'Jagermeister':

 

"A couple of these babies and I fear nothing! Sometimes I drink till I can't see...:"

 

 

 

NT: Superhero endorsements for frozen foods

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"Iceman for every frozen food company in the country, saying visit your frozen food aisle."

 

NT: Things you shouldn't find in a supermarket but do anyway.

 

Employees with open sores handling unpackaged fruits and vegetables...

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