Jump to content

NGD Scenes from a Hat


Hermit

Recommended Posts

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

 

NT: What is my effing kitten up to now?

 

*looks*

 

Osiris is attempting to attack Pharaoh's tail. Unfortunately, Pharaoh is sitting on the glass coffee table, and Osiris is under it, and he still isn't quite grasping the concept of 'transparency'.

 

*bonk*"Mew!"*bonk*"Mew!"*bonk*"Mew!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

 

NT:

Bring the funk. What is your 70's Soul name?

Sugar Dick Daddy Mister Long. Can you dig it?

 

 

NT:

Speaker of honor at your funeral.

Tony Danza. It's the whole, "I can't believe he's gone. He was so young and full of life *pause* is that Tony Danza?," thing.

 

 

 

NuTopic: Try to avoid eye-contact with these.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

 

Pictures of the Medusa. (Yeah it even works on photoes and paintings)

 

NT: What you would have said if you were 1st man/woman on the moon

 

I'm only 2 years old. How'd I get up here. I WANT MY MOMMY!

 

(yep, I was 2 when it happened.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

 

I declare this land Zornia, and I am its Emperor! BWA HA HA HA! Earth, send oxygen, food, life support, etc., or I will destroy you by launching rocks at high velocity!

 

And now we know another reason they would never send the likes of me...

 

NT: Two people most likely to have the most inane conversation in the world...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

 

Me in College at 2:00 am: "You can't be entirely certain of anything. At best, you build guess upon guess, and test the resulting world model, adjusting when necessary."

 

My born-again room-mate: "But you're certain you can't be certain! You're a hypocrite! Accept Jesus!"

 

M: "No, no, and no."

 

MBARM: "Yes!"

 

Repeat until 5:00 am.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

 

NT: Alternate endings/storylines to great fantasy novels that fortunately never saw the light of day

At the end of The Lord of the Rings, Aragorn comes out of the closet, relinquishes the crown of Gondor and sceptre of Arnor, and retires to the Shire to spend the rest of his days frolicking carnally with the "pretty boy" hobbits.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

 

Because YOU are the Chosen One, now stop whining and face your destiny

 

NT: Alternate endings/storylines to great fantasy novels that fortunately never saw the light of day

 

"Bilbo, you must cary the ring!"

 

"Why not call an Eagle?"

 

"What?"

 

"Call an Eagle. It'll be easy. We can get rid of the ring in a day or two, tops."

 

"No! Man's destiny is his own! The Eagles must not interfere!"

 

"Get serious. I'm not a man, you're not a man, the Elves and Dwarves aren't men. Also, I've read the books, and the Eagles save you and join the final fight, as well as rescuing me and Sam. So, you're full of it. Now call a frickin' Eagle."

 

"You smug little twerp! All of you are "men"; you're an idealized country squire, Sam is your dogsbody, the Elves are the aristocracy, and the Dwarves are Welsh miners. Now get on the road!"

 

"No."

 

"GET OUT!"

 

"Or what?"

 

"I shall recite deeply bad poetry at you!"

 

"You smegger. Fine."

 

"So, how about a quick one?"

 

"Pervy Hobbit fancier."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

 

NT: Alternate endings/storylines to great fantasy novels that fortunately never saw the light of day

 

Thomas Covenant, after raping that gal, has his throat slit, and dies still expecting to wake up in a hospital.

 

Or would that be "unfortunately never saw the light of day"?

 

 

 

NT: The biggest book ever published.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...