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Darren Watts

Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

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Pathfinder - Streets of Magnimar - How To Make Enemies And Influence Ushers
Zin: Kobold trapsmith, escaped slave, master of disguise, future Underlord
Gillert: A sheep among wolves. Varisian, human, eldritch scoundrel, but not by choice.
Ys Danar: Elven cutthroat, former pirate, freelance assassin, etc.
Harshal High-seeker: Shoanti investigator and extremely crooked barrister.

Tannis Oberech: Human rake and fledgling noble, who hasn't actually been at any of the sessions for a while, which is a shame because his money-making schemes are starting to pay off.


Important NPCs:

Emelliandra Oberech, Iria, and Ticaria: Scholars of various levels of shadiness. We've done favours for most of them, as part of a long ladder to positions of wealth and influence. We're currently trying to get Ticaria's proposal to open the giant spider-monster-infested ruined cyclopean bridge up to adventuring parties in front of Magnimar's Council of Ushers.
Lady of the Council of Ushers - Lady Verrine Caiteil: The Elf In Charge
Seneschal of Dates - Jacildria Quildarmo: Highly influential civil servant
Parvo Crispin: Owner and publisher of Magnimar's first broadsheet newspaper
Lalya Margare: Parvo's spitfire reporter/assistant. It was her idea to sell the paper cheaply, to a much wider audience. Her revolutionary zeal and investigative reporting will probably mean trouble for us later.


The biggest bottleneck when trying to talk to the Council of Magnimar is the Seneschal of Dates, and it doesn't matter how even-handedly the Lady of the Council runs things, if the Seneschal doesn't like you, you aren't talking to anybody.

Harshal: So we need to frame her for something.
Ys: And then blackmail her. Killing her isn't the best option, since we have no control over who replaces her.
Gillert: We should try and find out if she's already guilty of something. More efficient than framing her ourselves. Any ideas?
Harshal: Sorry, I'm just reflecting on the fact that it's YS who's saying murder isn't the best option here.
Ys: Hey, I know murder.

Gillert: So far, no luck with dirt-digging.
Harshal: Hey, if was easy everybody would have done it.

Harshal: Does the seneschal have any kids?
GM: No - the joke is 'no man can keep to her schedule'.
Harshal: So no kids, and no lover. Or if there is a lover she's discrete. And if she had a female lover the joke would be 'no-one else can multitask'

Zin: So, how do you fell about a little light kidnapping?
Harshal: Is it anything like light housekeeping?

What we DO find out is that anybody that leans too heavily on the Seneschal finds secrets about THEM getting out into the world. Apparently she has her own information network that we haven't even heard of. On the other hand we also hear a rumour that her manse has a secret second level to the basement.

Zin: Easy, she's a noble - it's a sex dungeon.

She's also well-preserved for somebody in her fifties. The paranoid might say suspiciously well-preserved.

Zin: I guess she'll be getting a tail. A very small tail.
Harshal: As the pervy gnome-fancier said.

Her manse is a little on the small side for the Alabaster District. It barely qualifies, in fact.

Gillert: That would explain the basement, too - if you can't build out, dig down.
Harshal: And you could sell the marble you excavated, too.

She never eats alone, either - she's always seen in company, whether at Magnimar's eateries or entertainments. That could just be because she enjoys her work. But she's also known to be inconsistent on bribes - sometimes, no amount of coin will move her - at other times a mere token will suffice.

Harshal: Which must be endlessly frustrating for the people trying to bribe her.

Ys suggests we get in, disguised as delivery persons, and use the fact that she has a very small staff to our advantage. Nobody would be insane enough to break in in broad daylight, too. Zin suggests we deliver him in a box.

Harshal: 'Here's your delivery from Pervy Kobold-fanciers'?

The best time to break in is going to be when the cook and maid are out doing the shopping. If we're careful, they'll won't even know we were there. Although the staff do seem oddly subdued and covered-up whenever they leave the building.

Harshal: If the seneschal's level of preservation and the staff's behavior DOES add up to something, I'm not going to be the one that says 'I told you she was-'
GM: Why is 'Vampire' the first conclusion you guys leap to? Seriously, it must be the fourth time this campaign.

GM: They're not wearing wimples, they're wearing muffin-caps.
Gillert: Which are not the same thing as muffin-tops.

Zin is delivered, and waits in the box until the butler opens in the box, triggering the trap loaded with drow sleep potion. He drags him off to the closet, and discovers that the butler's belt is actually a cat-of-nine tails.

Harshal: Maybe you were right about the sex dungeon.

The rest of us get in through a window, cutting and Mending the glass as we go. We can hear somebody upstairs, which should be no problem unless they come looking for the butler in the closet.

Ys: Is it a Quasit Closet?

Zin sets a tripwire at the top of the basement stairs, just in case somebody finds the butler and they start hunting for us.

Ys: Everybody look for the secret doors.
GM: *rolls some dice* You have to wonder about Gillert sometimes... you find the hidden latch behind the hanging jerky.
Gillert: Well, I'm not useless at this kind of search.
GM: But Zin is supposed to be better.
Gillert: He was distracted by the jerky.

The access to the secret sub-basement is actually a shaft. Ys goes down, and discovers rails. And a flat-top cart. And manacles. And a shrine to the Reaper of Reputations. And a torture rack. And a blood spa.

Harshal OoC: Ah - Elizabeth Bathory.
GM: Yeah, except this actually works.
Ys: SQUEE.

Ys is very impressed by the arrangement, and the convenient corpse disposal off the cliffs and into the ocean. Ys is aware that the Reaper of Reputations is one if the multiple aspects of the evil god Norgorber, and has a good number of cult devotees in Magnimar.

Harshal: Ys, would I right in assuming that you are a devotee of one of these aforementioned aspects?
Ys: *looks innocent*
Gillert: This would not be a good time to complain about this.
GM: Right. If you object, Ys has everything she needs right here.

Ys suggests the rest of us leave - she'll stay and have a word with the Seneschal herself. After changing into a suitable outfit.

Gillert: This is creepy as f*ck.
Harshal: There are multiple ways events could proceed from here. I suspect it won't be 'The Seneshal mysteriously disappears'. I'm not exactly sure how to feel about this.

A few hours later there's a commotion upstairs, and a little after that somebody drops a smoke grenade down the hole. Ys waits sitting on the edge of the bloodbath, and bows respectfully to the Seneschal when she appears with a crossbow.

Ys: Greetings, Mistress.
The Seneschal: You are trying to curry favour with me, calling me mistress without an introduction. This will not go well for you.
Ys: You are clearly high in the favour of the Master.
The Seneschal: Who are you?
Ys: The Shadow in the Shadows.
The Seneschal: That is who you wish to be. Who. Are. You.

Ys identifies herself, and the seneschal deduces much about the party's identity, and how carefully Ys has avoided the more bloody repercussions of this meeting by sending the rest of us on.

The Seneschal: Clever.
Ys: Thank you.

Ys also tells the seneschal who we're working for, and offers our services. She's not impressed - all the benefits are mere potential, and none immediate. Opening the bridge to exploration by adventurers still seems the work of a madwoman, even in the opinion of a secret murder-cultist. But then, she's a secret murder-cultist, not a reckless idiot. The status quo suits her, and the Council might actually approve the adventuring plan if she lets it go through. The seneschal is also going to need some really convincing reason, or a really good bribe, to let the proposal go through - especially since she's flatly and openly refused all bribe attempts regarding the proposal in the past. The need for this bribe to be publicly known rules out any of the stuff we stole, and Day-Z the Zombie Anthrax Cow. After all, more people will ask questions if the seneschal suddenly changes her mind for no apparent reason.

The Seneschal: One question - where is my butler?
Ys: The mahogany closet in the main hall.
Gillert: With his pants around his ankles.

We decide that melting down one of those platinum bars, and reforging some of it into, as Zin puts it, 'a piece of modern art in the Thassalonian style' should be an acceptable bribe. Our client doesn't argue the point.

Gillert: We're not getting paid for this gig, are we?
Ys: But we are setting up profit in the future.

We go one better - forging a 'genuine' Thassalonian art piece, but telling everybody in advance that 'of course it's a forgery, but it's a lovely example of how good some of these forgeries can be'. Our client even has an idea who can do the forgery for us.

Tikaria: Do you know Emelliandra Oberech by any chance?
Harshal: *cackles*
Tikaria: What's so funny?
Harshal: Yes, yes we know her.

And Emmeliandra is not only an expert on Thassalonian artefacts, she's also a sculptor. And the fake she produces for us is so incredibly good (a roll of 35 on a d20) that it's only her signature stamp on the underside that suggests it isn't the real thing. The 'Seven Virtues' (and a domino mask from Ys) is duly passed on to the seneschal, and the proposal passed on to the Council for discussion. Of course, now we have to make sure the vote passes in our favour - since we only took on this job on behalf on Iria, as a favour to Tikaria, bribing the Senschal, and all that, so we'll have a foot in the door in this whole adventurer-farming enterprise. It won't be easy - there's 115 people in the Council of Ushers. Harshal starts crafting an opinion piece to go into Parvo Crispin's newspaper, about how adventurers bring money and magical items into a city, after they've looted a dungeon somewhere. So anything that brings adventurers to Magnimar is a good thing.

Ys: And avoid any mention of murder-hobos.
GM: Thanks to guilds and the Pathfinder's Society, adventurers are considered valuable members of society. And even murder-hobos serve a purpose - they keep money in the hands of pretty people.

Thanks to Harshal's Convincing Lie talent, his legal argument, and combined with the cheapness of Crispin's broadsheet, our opinion vis-a-vis opening up the interior of bridge for dungeoneering becomes a very popular opinion indeed.

Harshal: Now we just need to be in position to milk every cent out of it when the vote passes.

And since Magnimar has no town charter per se, there's no need to put out the dungeoneering plans out for public tender.

There's a bit of a scare the next day, when an article by Crispin's firebrand assistant reveals just how much the PCs stand to personally profit from the adventurer-farm. Fortunately for us, the article is mostly about how much the city stands to profit - it might even be enough to reduce tax rates. Ys sends her some flowers in thanks, and the circulation of the paper explodes.

Harshal: We've positioned ourselves to ride the crest of this wave to fame and fortune. Although mostly fortune, because we don't want the fame.
GM: Tough - she's going to make sure you're famous.
Harshal: Ah well.
GM: The subtext is that you are the champions of the people.
Ys: *cackles*
GM: Because you're not part of the entrenched nobility, etc.

Harshal: So, overwhelmingly in favour of the Adventurer Farm?
GM: Let's not call it the Adventure Farm. Unless you start offering Adventur-cations.

Since voting against the proposal is increasing political suicide, the no-crowd start insisting on precautions, and the city getting first dibs on any items the adventurers bring out, and waivers and security bonds.

Harshal: *grinning* Such as these forms I drafted earlier?
No-crowd: And the gangs of Underbridge will need to be quelled.
Gillert: I was going to offer them a 5% cut if they just wracked off.

Gillert: I'm trying to argue from the grey areas, OK?
Ys: You're not grey anymore, you're heading down into the pitchest black.
Harshal: Not really - Gillert is the person we hold up whenever anybody accuses us of being evil. If we were evil, would somebody like Gillert hang around with us?
GM: Mostly hanging around out of fear.

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Some good ones from last night's FH game:

 

Welshman: “Songs will be sung of our deeds!”

Priest: “Mostly dirty limericks, but...”

Alchemist: "There once was a Priest from Rome..."

 

 

Pilgrim: “What if [bad thing] happens?”

Priest: “God isn’t enough of a dick to do that to us.”

Pilgrim: “You haven’t ever actually read the bible, have you?”

 

 

Traveling through Faerie, the Irish warrior decides to make a small sacrifice to the land asking for safe passage, so he spills a little wine on the ground symbolically.

GM: “Wait, the Irishman just spilled alcohol?”

Italian Priest: “I thought we talked about the dangers of alcohol abuse.”

Irishman: [shrugs] “It’s just wine, doesn’t count.”

Italian Priest: “Whoa whoa WHOA! You did not just say that!”

 

 

The Heroes encounter Aletcien, a Fey huntress they met once before, and with whom the Welshman had a tryst. But since their last meeting, the Welshman has married another woman. (Background: in my world, the Fey have something resembling marriage, but they don’t really get the concept of monogamy.)

GM: (to the Welshamn) “Aletcien runs over and leaps into your arms with a squee.”

Welshman: [sigh] “It’s truly wonderful to see you again.”

[Aletcien tries to drag him off into the woods for a quickie, but he resists...reluctantly...]

Welshman: But I must tell you…I’ve gotten married.”

Aletcien: “That’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you both! I can’t wait to meet her!”

Welshman: [relieved] “That’s great…”

Aletcien: “As long as she doesn’t mind sharing, amirite?”

[Aletcien resumes trying to drag him off into the woods]

Welshman:  [groaning] “No, no… you don’t understand…you see…my religion says I can only be with one woman.”

Aletcien: [thinks for a minute] “At a time?”

Welshman: [OOC] “Yeah, that’s it. I go with her. I’m not even going to try and make that EGO Roll.”

 

 

Later…

They  come back out of the woods picking leaves out of their hair. The Welshman walks over to the Priest.

Welshman: “Indulgences are still a thing, right?”  

Priest: “Last I checked.”

Welshman: [drops a bag of gold] “Bless me Father for I have sinned.” [walks away]

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Playing the PF card game.  My character encounters a ... daunting (aka virtually impossible), but crucial for success, check.  People start scrambling to give me help ... then I announce my rarely-used ability to simply evade anything.

 

"Pour some milk over a nice bowl of Honey Bunches of NOPE."

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Fantasy campaign, first night.  Setting: Constantinople, a couple of days before it falls to the Turks, 1453.

 

The player of the physician character admits he has a skill add in Torture.

 

"Meh, in this era, they just call that Dentistry."

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We finally had the first real session of our new Gold Age Champions campaign.  Our heroes:

Amon-Ra: Archaeologist who found an artifact that is a conduit to an ancient god.

Diamondback: Exposure to a strange crystal gave her immense strength and durability.

Double-Time: Given incredible running speed during a lab accident.

Faceless: FBI agent with the ability to assume the shape of any person he sees.

Professor Polar: Discoverer of "cold energy".

Shard: Exposed to the same crystal as Diamondback, but instead has the ability to grow and control similar crystals.

Tarraingteacht: Agent Carter's skills with Polaris's powers.

Zoltan the Magnificent: Stage magician who also knows real magic.

 

*****

 

Zoltan [while performing his stage act]: ...as taught to me by the maharajas of far-off India...

 

Diamondback [whispering to her sister]: I don’t know what that is, but it sounds impressive.

 

*****

 

Tarraingteacht [OOC]: Why is my character a Missouri Prisoner of War?

 

[confused looks from the rest of the table]

 

Double-Time [leaning over and looking at her character sheet]: "MoPow" is an abbreviation for More Powerful…

 

*****


Shard [to her sister, Diamondback]: I hate you!  Why did you have to be born?  … I mean that in a loving way.

 

*****

 

Full session write-up here.

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24 minutes ago, Christopher said:

I will be honest: With this name I expected a Superintelligent Gorilla. Took me 2 readings to realise she was a human.

You know, you may have just inspired this campaign's first running gag.

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From this weekend's Monster Hunter International game:

 

We're fighting off an invasion of an invasion of anthropomorphic insectoids. The "Boss Monster" turns out to be not so humanoid, and enormous.

 

When it first appears, my character, Titania Melungeon the female Troll, points and says
"Kill it before it breeds!"

 

Confronting it,

"Go back where you came from! Or I'll break off your ovipositor and shove it down your gullet!"

Everyone else: "Huh?"  (literally, that was the response. Turns out I was the only one at the table who knew what an ovipositor is.)

 

After the creature has taken fire to little apparent effect,

"Do you think being bulletproof will save you? It won't!"

 

It didn't either. My character has a flaming sword.

 

OoC: "Okay, my OCV is 4, the weapon itself is +2, I don't have levels with sword....umm...I don't have Weapon Familiarity for this weapon either, so that's a -3 isn't it....?"

Mike, who's running the game: "Yep"

 

Fortunately, I rolled well.

 

Lucius Alexander

 

The palindromedary says Fiona couldn't find an ovipositor on the thing and wound up just stuffing one its legs down its gullet. After it was safely dead.

 

 

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A friend is running a D&D 5th edition game, in which I'm playing a Neutral Good paladin named Raphael.  I've been portraying him as kinda looks-superficial ("that b*****d messed up my hair!") and quite the player with the ladies.  He's also a bit of a rogue (not the actual character class, but the personality), with a few rogue-type skills he got at character creation.

 

A month back, when we reached 4th level, I emailed the DM:

 

Quote

So, I've been thinking about what do with leveling Raphael up.  As far as I know, the only decision I need to make is on his ability score improvement.

 

With him having DEX 17 and CON 15, a smart person would probably put one point to each, thus increasing his to-hit and rapier damage as well as a few useful skills, along with his HP.

A wise person might purchase a feat like Burglar, Quick-Fingered, Stealthy, or Resilient, each of which give +1 DEX along with a skill, tool, or saving throw proficiency.

All of that said, Raphael has decided that he wants to get... Lucky.  I've tried telling him that "getting Lucky" in this case doesn't mean what he thinks it means, but he's pretty adamant about it.

 

 

For those who don't know feats in D&D5, Lucky allows you to either give yourself Advantage (roll 2 d20s and take the better of them) or forces a foe to have Disadvantage (he rolls 2 d20s and takes the worst of them) in attacks against you, and you're able to choose to use Lucky after the initial die is rolled (but before effects are determined).  You can do this three times between long rests.   (In effect, three times a day you can get a re-roll or force an enemy to do a re-roll.)

 

In my first session after Raphael got Lucky, his first use of the feat was to avoid a big bad's critical hit, followed by cancelling out Raphael's own critical fail.  Last night, being Lucky allowed Raphael to avoid two critical failures of his own and cancelled out a foe's critical success.  One of Raphael's crit-fails was on a saving throw vs. poison (which I'm guessing the DM would have ruled did max damage based on the crit fail).

 

After last night's game, the DM commented:  "You know, at first I thought you were being silly, but that Luck thing is really working for you."

 

 

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On 20.11.2017 at 2:16 PM, BoloOfEarth said:

For those who don't know feats in D&D5, Lucky allows you to either give yourself Advantage (roll 2 d20s and take the better of them) or forces a foe to have Disadvantage (he rolls 2 d20s and takes the worst of them) in attacks against you, and you're able to choose to use Lucky after the initial die is rolled (but before effects are determined).  You can do this three times between long rests.   (In effect, three times a day you can get a re-roll or force an enemy to do a re-roll.)

If Flirting was done as Skill Contest, then this would indeed help him to "get Lucky". :winkgrin:

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Betrayal At The House On The Hill: Rick and Morty Halloween Special
Played Betrayal At The House On The Hill for Halloween, with the usual bunch of weirdoes. Naturally, since the game involves exploring a troperiffic Creepy Old Mansion, we played them Rick, Morty and Summer, and two slightly more expendable NPCs, such as the suspiciously innocent little girl, and the sports jock.

Rick: Twenty bucks says he dies first.

Morty: Ah jeez, Riiick, my flashlight is going out!
Rick: That's impossible, Morty, that flashlight is powered by a collapsing star.
Morty: Then maybe it's finished collapsing?
Rick: That doesn't make the slightest scientific sense, Morty.

Despite Rick explicitly warning everybody not to split up, the party promptly did. Since Rick never expected any better, he presses on to the Master Bedroom alone to catch whoever is behind the creepy and architecturally impossible building, and reemerges dragging an demented and raving alternate Rick.

Rick: Anybody even remotely surprised to find out this guy is behind the Overlook Hotel here?

The impossible architecture includes an elevator that keeps reappearing at random places around the house.

Rick: Calm down Summer, it's only a Class Four Wonkavator.... barely Class Four.

Rick: We're going to get through this Morty! Do you trust me? Do. You. Trust. Me!
Morty: No!
Rick: Good, you can't trust anybody.

Especially not when Rick turns himself invisible and starts hunting the rest of the party down. Of course, it turns out that the killer Rick was the architect all along, and had drugged and switched clothes with Rick Prime when they were separated from everybody else.

Real Rick: What, none of you BRRAARRP figured out he was the fake? Nice to know who I can rely on.

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Champions - Return to Edge City - Professional Stalkers
Flux: Speaking of supervillains...
Fireflash: We're superheroes. Even if sometimes it doesn't seem like it.
Hero Shrew: Honestly we're just another gang.

GM: I'm going to - and I can't believe I'm saying this - going to assume basic level competence from Gareth Lowell (Hardlight).

Basically Hardlight is doing some solo investigation into Edge City's mystic shit, without involving Flux, because he doesn't want to endanger Flux's secret identity. One of the people he discovers is one Elsa, who overdresses for a Californian summer.

GM: No Frozen jokes please.

Hardlight hires Elsa to carry on the mystic investigation.

GM: Flux wants to stay low-profile. And LoCarb is more -
Flux: Let It Grow, Let It Grow?
GM: I thought I said no Frozen jokes.

Hardlight also notes that somebody, a red-headed young woman, seems to be keeping tabs on Elsa.

Flux: Well, we know she isn't a vampire.
Hero Shrew: Could be a daywalker.
Flux: Well in that case we're fucked.
Fireflash: Could be a Daewooker, which are vampires that can go out in daylight but only in Korean cars.

The mystery woman does dress quite like one of Elsa's associates, but it's the chrome studs and logo on her denim vest that might identify her for us. If we can get a better photo. Hardlight calls in the rest of the superteam.

Hardlight: Time for a meeting of the Knitting Club.
Hero Shrew: I've learned to purl.
Flux: Of course Scooter is the one who doesn't realise 'Knitting Club' is code.
Hardlight: You do realise that you're the only one who comes to these things and actually knits, right? And you're knitting with rebar.
Flux: Where did you get that rebar?
Hero Shrew: *shrugs* I forget.

Hero Shrew: So we're working from bad photos and your hunch.
Fireflash: We've worked from worse.
Flux: Yes, and if I recall correctly we ended up in a sewer.

Hardlight: Can we use the photo to make some kind of empathic link?
Flux: ..... ....
Hero Shrew: You're just making stuff up at this point, aren't you?
Flux: Why don't we just follow the person who's being followed so we can follow the person who's doing the following?
GM: Did you follow that?

Flux shadows Elsa and what seems to be her girlfriend, Misty, and notices a few things, Misty seems to have a wandering eye, which may bode ill for the relationship, and whoever is supposedly shadowing them is invisible.

Flux: I may have been misinformed about the situation.
Hero Shrew: Or Hardlight is just paranoid.
Flux: EVERYBODY says that.
Hardlight: Wait, they do? Who says that?

Elsa IS doing magic whenever she and Misty think they aren't being watched, but they're really bad a spotting observers.

Hero Shrew: No wonder this mystery red-head is following them around. I mean, if I saw somebody turning invisible and visible again and conjuring novelty bondage chains around her girlfriend, I'd want to know what the hell is going on too.

They also walk from one end of town to the other. Flux finally spots the red-headed pursuer when she steps out in front of him - she was somehow following Elsa and Misty without needing a line of sight on them. The logo on her vest is a rearing cobra.

Hero Shrew: Not Disco Stu then.

The redhead is making notes on a PDA - not a FreeWeb device - but doesn't seem to be using obvious magic or technology to follow Elsa and Misty.

Flux: So all we actually have is that she's being mildly creepy following Elsa and Misty around.
Hero Shrew: So she's mildly creepy for following them around? Remind me what you're doing again?
Flux: Following the creepy girl around.

Elsa and Misty eventually go back to their hotel. The redhead leaves on a motorbike she had parked nearby.

GM: She's Comeliness 18 and maaaybe goes to college.
Hero Shrew: *deadpan*Yeah, not creepy at all.

Of course, Hero Shrew, Hardlight, and Fireflash lost interest in the pursuit hours ago - Hero Shrew needs sleep before he starts his night shift at the strip club, Hardlight has a civilian ID to maintain, and Fireflash has a RPG session to get to. Flux texts Fireflash to get the redhead's plates run - her motorbike comes from Michigan, and is registered to one Megan Grey, out of Millennium City.

Hero Shrew: Ah. The thing you need to know is that Millennium City is filled with rats in capes.
Flux: Huh?
Hero Shrew: Ubiquitous supers.
Flux: But you don't wear a cape.
Hero Shrew: I'm not a rat, either. You don't see me making a big deal about it.

Megan is a private investigator.

Hero Shrew: So she's not a stalker, she a PI. I guess that makes her a professional stalker.


Doesn't explain how she's following them without line of sight though. She's also a decade older than she actually looks. And her vest logo is the old of the Cobra Lords, a rather alarming westside gang in Millennium City. At this point the game derails because the GM and Flux's player get distracted by photos of Allison Scagliotti.

Flux: And we don't have our own vehicles to follow her. Which is probably just as well - picture Scooter on a scooter. The jokes write themselves.

Flux sends his own photos to the others. The redhead looks very familiar to Hero Shrew, since he just just let her into the strip club, where she's quietly playing steel guitar in one of the corners.

Flux: Oh dear.
Hero Shrew: 'So, what's it like, being a PI?'
GM: Please don't - you don't have the Disad 'Clueless'.

Hardlight points out that Flux can always go into the club himself, and buy the redhead a drink.

Flux: I hadn't thought of that.
GM: I know, you keep forgetting social interactions are a thing. And the rest of you keep letting him.

Hardlight: Scooter, do you have social skills?
Hero Shrew: Sure, but I'm working. And I'm not human.
GM: You think that matters? She's just come to a furry tittybar.

When the redhead leaves, Scooter notices something else. When she came in her hair was merely red. When she leaves it's an improbable fire-engine red. So she's clearly got high-end training and Image Inducer tech. Who the hell are are we dealing with here?

 

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Pathfinder - Streets of Magnimar - Vermin Control
Harshal: Just let me check my Blue Book - I'm sure we can find some kind of secret sex dungeon in Magnimar that will be your tastes.
Zin: Sex dungeons? It'll probably be all humans and elves. Not the kind of thing I need to scratch that itch, you know?
Harshal: And if they have Half-orc leather daddies?
Zin: ... ... OK then.

Before we can start getting our cut from every level of the Adventure Farm, we need to deal with the crime problem in Underbridge. And crime in Underbridge is dominated by three different groups - the Sczarni crime family, who we inadvertently joined forces with that time, the Nightscales, who we've mightily annoyed on multiple occasions, and the Creepers, who have child slaves controlled by a system of terror.

Harshal: Eliminating the Creepers WOULD be a public service...

And the Sczarni were the ones who a priest and his acolytes beaten to death after they refused to make a 'charitable donation' to the needy families of Underbridge. One family in particular... At least the Nightscales don't know that it was us who have screwing with them. One of the independents is the Three Dolphin Milk Parlour, which despite the name is actually a drug den where Midnight Milk users can spend an evening quietly stoned.

Other random facts and rumours about UYnderbridge that will probably become relevant at some point - an engineering marvel in Underbridge, dwarfed by the bridge itself, is the Shadowclock, a lethally decrepit tower now closed to the public, but too sturdy to fall down by itself. Or if you want creepy children's rhymes, there's the one about the Scarecrow, a rumoured serial killer operating in Underbridge.

GM: Underbridge IS the most impoverished section of Magnimar - to the point you really have to wonder about anybody that actually lives there by choice.
Harshal: Out of curiosity, did these rumours about the Scarecrow start AFTER Ys moved in?

We decide that the Nightscales will be the best group to deal with, especially if offer them a cut of the profits.

Ys: I'll offer 20%.
Harshal: I assume you mean you'll go UP to 20%.
Ys: Yeah, we'll start at 5% and let them bargain us up.
Gillert: Maybe throw in some free adventuring vouchers?
Harshal: I sincerely doubt they'd be interested.
Ys: Adventuring is the quickest way to make money in Golarion. It's also the quickest way to make yourself dead. Your basic life of crime is much safer.

Harshal starts looking for Mr. White and Mr. Black, the Nightscales 'legal representatives'. They're proving a little difficult to track down, which might be because they're false identities donned when needed, or because they're daemons in service to Asmodeus, the Daemon Prince of Lawyers.

Ys: You two will have to do the negotiating.
Gillert: Will you be there to loom menacingly?
Ys: No no no, I don't do intimidation.
Harshal: Ys is an assassin, Gillert - she does her best work when you don't notice she was there at all.

Gillert is in the middle of paperwork down at our importing business when Mister Black and White make a sudden appearance.

Harshal: I see we need to arrange better security down there.

Gillert explains that we have an idea of mutual benefit, but wants to have the rest of there before we open negotiations.

Harshal: At the very least you want enough of us here to form quorum.

Harshal: I was just in the middle of considering internal rules for our little association - for example, if we need to remove one of us from membership and this mortal coil, does the vote have to be simple majority, or unanimous?
Ys: No, you just tell me and I do it.
Gillert: And it all becomes much less democratic. Note to self - Ys-proof my house.

Harshal: Did Misters Black and White have any preferences for where they'd like to conduct these negotiations?
GM: They didn't say.
Harshal: We'll assume they just turn up then.
GM: They do. 'Sir? There's two strange men on the end of the pier'
Harshal: Ah good, we were expecting them. Send them in. Refreshments?
Gillert: I'll put the kettle on.

The Nightscales are a bit unhappy with the idea of opening the Irespan - for one thing, it will require extra security in places they don't want attention drawn to.

Ys: What if the Nightscales provide that security?
Mr White: Difficult. The organization has recently experienced some set-backs in terms of personnel.

Mr White DOES has a counter-offer, which will make it it much easier for the Nightscales to occupy a power vacuum, provide the service we want from them, and let us get our hands on some of those flamethrowers we suspect the Nightscales now have.

Mr White: There is a certain population of vermin in Underbridge who are growing in number. The moon-touched.
Harshal: Ah - were-rats.
Ys: Wait, what?
GM: Harshal has it.
Harshal: City-dwelling criminal scum with a lunar connection - of course it's were-rats.
GM: And, you know, the vermin thing too.

Harshal: So, Ys, you have no problem with exterminating the Magnimar population of Were-rats?
Ys: I'd have no problem with wiping out the population of Magnimar.
GM: She IS an equal-opportunity killer.

Harshal: Were-rats on top of nests of goblins - what a pity we never figured out how to flood the sewers with acid.

Harshal: Everybody bear this in mind before we go in - Lucretia the were-rat might be hot, but all other were-rats are vermin.

Harshal: I'm going to get my back-up dagger silvered as well. I might have to stab more than one lycanthrope.
Gillert: Do we want to invest in a silver pellet grenade?
Harshal: Probably. 'Oh look, a nest of were-rat children and infants' Pull pin. Lob.

We consult our contact Iria the alchemist regarding urban lycanthropes. It's not like we can ask the lycanthropes themselves - the were-rats are too sneaky and the village of other were-folk near Magnimar got wiped out in an unprovoked attack by city militia.

Iria: Were-rats also carry Filth Fever. Don't contract it.
Harshal: Is there a cure?
Iria: No specific.
Harshal: Let's assume colloidal silver.
Zin: I'm already bright green, I don't want to be blue as well.

Iria also prepares some prophylactic infusions.

Gillert: She's an alchemist, not a maker of prophylactics.
Harshal: Prophylactic as an adjective, not a colloquial noun.
Gillert: Oh.
Harshal: Yes, it's not like she's making a homeopathic solution of condoms.
GM: She does recommend anything to protect you from disease.
Harshal: OK, maybe it is condoms.
Gillert: We're going to the bathhouse.
Zin: Hey, I bathe!
Harshal: Oh, you go to an *actual*bathhouse! I understand now - carry on.
Zin: *blushes bright red*
Gillert: .... *facepalm*

Harshal and Zin go to Gillert to their weapons silvered - Ys prepares her own Silver Blanch to apply as needed.

Gillert: If there's a Rust Monster down there we've got problems.
GM: That WOULD be a dick move on my part :D

GM: The were-rats favour the dock area.
Harshal: Makes sense - they must be water rats. Do they all have Norwegian accents?
GM: I'll pretend you didn't say that. Oddly enough they avoid the Rat Tavern.

But we do hear rumours of a newly-arrived were-rat named Moonbreaker, who has emboldened Magnimar's population of the secretive vermin. He's not as sneaky as the rest of them, but he IS a heavy hitter, and he can break weapons. The were-rats may even have discovered the Silverblood ritual.

GM: Why am I not surprised that Ys knows about the Silverblood ritual?
Harshal: Horrible ritual with horrible side-effects? Of course she does.

The ritual removes the vulnerability to silver weapons, at the risk of wasting to death during the new moon.

GM: Were-rats are also the reason ratfolk are unpopular.
Zin: I thought they were same thing.
Gillert: You made the same mistake everybody else does.
Harshal: All rodents look alike to me.
Ys: What Have The Rodents Ever Done For Us?

We also find out exactly why the Nightscales can't deal with them themselves. Moonbreaker killed so many Nightscales that the Nightscales had to beg for a ceasefire. And that was AFTER they ambushed Moonbreaker. And Harshal receives a whispered message in one ear while he was out at a bar, gathering information. Which is a bit strange, since he was sitting with his back to the wall, watching the door at the time.

"You may want to investigate the Swift Dolphin Warehouse, if you're seeking the Stonecutter Clan. But be warned, they are allied with something from afar."

The mysterious speaker has quite a high-pitched voice, and smells of honeysuckle. And is apparently small enough to fit INSIDE the wall, since Harshal actually hears them scurrying away, despite the mysterious informants huge stealth bonuses. And while were-rats can turn into rats, they can't speak in that form.

Harshal: Well then. On top of all the other information networks operating in Magnimar, one of them has agents small enough to fit behind wooden panelling.
GM: Homunculi?
Harshal: Imps.
Ys: A kobold hit with a Shrink spell.

But the honeysuckle might be a clue, since it can be used to conceal earthy smells. And whoever the informant is, they were concerned enough by that possibility to drench themselves in enough honeysuckle that Harshal could smell them through the wall.

GM: A fairy Dragon would naturally smell of honeysuckle, but wouldn't hide. 'OK, I need to go now' EUPHORIA CLOUD.
Gillert: The exact kind of familiar a stoner wizard would have.

Off to investigate the were-rat infested warehouse.

Harshal: Appropriate.
Gillert: Where else would were-rats live? The warehouse.
Gillert: Were we going to kidnap one of the wererats for information?
Harshal: I don't believe so. If the opportunity to torture one for information comes up, sure - torture then kill is morally equivalent to just kill, isn't it?

GM: Rats the size of dogs do tend to attract attention. Except in Underbridge.
Ys: Nobody seems to be watching the building, anyway.
Harshal: Or the people of Underbridge have just learned that it doesn't pay to be too nosy about your neighbor's business.

Harshal: Since we've re-opened the docks north of Underbridge, there's a chance this warehouse can be re-opened. So, do we clear the drug addicts out tonight?
Ys: If it comes up. The question is how.
Harshal: I suggest fake daemonic possession.
Gillert: 'Fake'?
Ys: I was just going to lock the doors and set it on fire.
Harshal: But then you lose the building too.

We sneak up to the building, carrying braces to seal the doors, and prepared to commit major arson.

Harshal OoC: It's almost like we're playing Call of Cthulhu.
GM: With these players, sure. That and a lifetime discount on dynamite.

Unfortunately, the warehouse has people on watch that can recognise attempted arson when they see it coming. Various gaunt elf Milk addicts crawl out of cover.

Harshal: Elves that are addicted to Milk, not people addicted to elf-milk.
GM: Given some of the internet references to elf-milk that I've seen, eww.

Gillert recognises what they are - they can't be drug addicts, since they're immune to drugs. And addiction. And any kind of characteristic drain.

GM: They're ghouls.
Harshal: Oh f**k.
GM: Which explains how they were so good at staying still for a long time.

Ys runs in and decapitates one. Harshal considers the fact that Gillert and Zin both do ranged attacks, and reluctantly runs in to run another through himself. Unfortunately, he's promptly mauled and paralysed by the third ghoul, which is just ONE reason he was reluctant to move in and assist Ys. At least Gillert slaps some Invisibility on Harshal so the barrister might actually survive this. Unfortunately, all the howling of the Ghouls attracts thugs. And when Harshal, still paralysed, fades back into visibility, he's a very tempting target. They still fail to hit him.

GM: His blade glances off your armour.
Harshal: Just as well I bought it then. But the look of withering contempt I give the thug is probably wounding in and of itself.

Harshal: I came here to set addicts on fire and honestly I'm feeling so attacked right now.

But before long the lead thug finds himself outnumbered four-to-one, drinks a spring-loaded potion, and turns invisible. He runs off, while we loot the bodies and set up the warehouse fire. We don't even go into the building, but then, we're not exactly the kind of clientele the drug den would welcome. The fire gets reported in a special morning edition of Parvo's newspaper. It's the tone of the report that we have issues with.

MIDNIGHT BLAZE - GANG VIOLENCE IN UNDERBRIDGE - Sign of things to come? Irespan Expedition in Question

Harshal: F********ck.
Reporter: Eyewitness accounts infer that the Flying Fox organised the bucket chain.
Harshal: Hmm. I wonder if our young reporter friend is also the Flying Fox.
GM: Can't be - she wears glasses.

It's also annoying to hear that no bodies were found inside the building. And that the ghoul bodies went missing. The other bodies were found stripped.

Harshal: Well, it is Underbridge.
GM: That was you - you took everything but their shorts.
Reporter: While the building was damaged, it appears it can be repaired.
Gillert: Oh look, a warehouse going cheap.
GM: It's a classic.

On the other hand the article confirms that the warehouse belonged to a defunct trading company.

Harshal: Oh look, a warehouse going cheap.
GM: Eh - that just adds to the legal snarl as the figure out who actually owns it.
Harshal: Whoever it is, I bet they haven't been paying their taxes on the building. So if we pay to get the building repaired... Real estate law is not my speciality, but does the phrase 'eminent domain' come into play here? It falling into our hands is clearly to the city's benefit.

Gillert also notices that our young reporter friend got that article written, typeset, and printed remarkably quickly, if she also had to go to Underbridge to get the information as well. At least Parvo Crispin suggests it's the Underbridge gangs getting stirred up in anticipation of the new income stream. Gillert and Harshal investigate the ruins, and find, as Harshal expected, concealed escape tunnels that were collapsed behind them. We decide not to spread this information.

Harshal: We don't want people thinking about stuff from the Irespan escaping into the sewers.
GM: Some Magnimareans would argue that that is a fair fight.
Harshal: But just picture the scene - you're sitting reading the day's broadsheet, and suddenly a giant man-eating spider comes up the s-bend.

Harshal also comes down poorly - it's ghoul fever!

Zin: I'm calling in Iria on this one.
GM: It's a win-win for her - either she heals a friend, or she gets to study someone succumb to ghoul fever.

Of course, this whole drug den disaster does raise questions about Harshal's original intel. Mostly, while did they believe Harshal when he said a wall talked to him, especially since he's clearly raving now?

Ys: Most of the time, if someone succumbs to Ghoul Fever, they become a ghoul. But don't worry, this won't happen to you.
Harshal: Hmm. Quite.
GM: ?
Harshal: She means she'll kill me.

Ys: I don't like undead. Things I kill should say that way.
Harshal: I don't like undead either - they hardly ever carry money.

It's going to be a few days until we even know if Iria's treatment is working.

Harshal: I can't go out and gather information in this state.
Ys: Which is why I'm going to do it.
Harshal: Well, if you hear any voices from inside walls, you know what to do.
Ys: Yes. Kill them.
Harshal: Well, that wasn't what I met, but-
GM: It'll be amusing to watch you try.

Ys: I could disguise myself as a were-rat, fake a beating, and see if the were-rats come to my rescue.
Harshal: Two problems there - your disguise might not hold up to close inspection. And since you're disguised as a were-rat, your average Magnimarean would help put the boot in.

Ys does get the mysterious honeysuckle voice - they're a bit upset with us that we didn't follow up our attack. She also manages to spot the source - a tiny hooded figure.

Honeysuckle Whisperer: You can see me.
Ys: Well, caught a glimpse.
Honeysuckle Whisperer: Damn. I have instructions in case this happened. Meet me in the alley.

Our informant is, in fact, a tiny humanoid rat.

Ys: I can see why you have a problem with were-rats. But don't worry, I'll treat you just the way I treat everybody else.
Honeysuckle Whisperer: I'd rather NOT be horribly killed, thank you very much.
Ys: Hey, I don't kill EVERYBODY I meet.
Honeysuckle Whisperer: That remains to be seen.

The tiny rat-things really don't have much more information they can give us - they're trying to avoid the were-rats and their undead pets, after all. Our informant scurries off - but as she'll leaving Ys spots ANOTHER tiny robed figure, broader in the shoulder, sneaking around. Ys sneakily pursues, until the second figure pounces on the first, and roughs them up a bit.

Second Sneaker: You got SPOTTED. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't eat you for that.
Ys: Because you got spotted too.

The second figure denies any responsibility for anything going wrong. That's probably because it's a cat.

Ys: You're cute.
Second Sneaker: HISS
Harshal: Yeah, sleek, pretty, murderer, I can see the resemblance.

Apparently these guys have a few rules that they are supposed to follow.

Second Sneaker: Not to go on all fours! That is the Law! The Claw punishes the Paw for Disobedience! That is the Law!

Ys passes on SOME of what she discovered - chiefly that the were-rats congregate under Underbridge - and eventually Iria gives Harshal a clean bill of health.

Harshal: We should have asked 'How would WE run an illegal drug den?' And then yes, the escape tunnel would have been obvious.

So, time for some systematic exploration of the Underbridge sewers.

Harshal: Exactly how many nights a week are we going to be doing this? Because I do have a day job. Expeditions into the sewers may have SOME resemblance to working as a lawyer in Magnimar, but I can't do it for 24 hours a day.

Zin wants to buy some more Hide From Animals potions.

Potion Shopkeeper: Not much call for them here.
Harshal: Hardly surprising - the only animals in the city that you'd want to avoid are guard dogs.

Harshal: We're going to need protection from the smell down there too. Should we get Plague Doctor masks?
Zin: Just pee on a bandana and tie it across your face.

There's also the problem that the Magnimar sewers were designed by a madman who wanted to leave lots of places for Norgorber cultists to hide.

GM: Oh, and did I mention that some sections apparently move around?

Of course, there's the OTHER problem that only Zin has any sort of tracking skill.

GM: Hey! Rat dropping! And rat footprints! Oh wait...

Zin narrowly avoids some kind of trap that sprayed an unknown liquid.

GM: But with all the precautions you took, none of you can smell what it was.

Ys: I'll collect a sample.
Harshal: Hopefully it's not Green Slime.

Then we hear the squeaking approach of many small hairy vermin.

Ys: Rat swarm!
GM: 'Swarm', singular?

Ys legs it, Harshal is caught flat-footed, and Zin swigs one of the Hide From Animals potions.

GM: Which will work right up until you're touched by an animal.
Zin: I'd better get climbing then.

The rats ignore Zin, and attack Harshal as they try to get past him and at Ys.

Harshal: Is this normal behavior for rats?
GM: Do you have Handle Animals or any kind of Knowledge Nature skill?
Harshal: Nope.
GM: Then you have NO IDEA why they behaving like this. Ys' player can guess why, because he knows what a bastard I am.
Harshal: ?
GM: Ys is carrying a sample of rat bait.
Harshal: Then why are they attacking me?
GM: Because you're in the way.

Zin: I'd rather not get TPKed by rats.

Ys is getting desperate, and starts lobbing acid flasks. Despite herself and Harshal being in the splash zone. She gets off much more likely than he does.

Ys: Someone up there likes me.
GM: I think you're looking in the wrong direction.

Zin figures out that they must be trying to get the rag Ys collected her sample with. Ys throws it away, and the rats head off in pursuit. The trap sprayed Beast Bait.

GM: I'm quite proud of that idea.

We spot a lurking figure at about the same time it spots it realises it's been spotted - we don't pursue.

Ys: Do you really want to follow it into whatever ambush they have planned? We'll move past and try to double back on them.

It doesn't do us any good - we get shot in the back with crossbows a little later on, largely because Harshal has the group nicely illuminated with his lantern. Ys pursues, because she has no need for light. But our assailants are fleeing in pitch blackness too, which is odd for were-rats, since they should need at least some light.

Harshal: So exactly how many dangerous species and organizations are down here? I'm betting that trap was set by CHUDs.
GM: Do you want me to count the Norgorber cults as one organization, or split them up?

There IS an ambush, but Ys was expecting one by this point anyway. Somewhat surprisingly, it's a female were-rat. Clearly whatever markings they've laid are visible to low-light vision, but invisible to normal vision or darksight. Worse, the bushwhacker is that rumoured were-rat combat monster with the Sunder feat, as Ys learns when one of her silvered kukris gets shattered. And then someone starts summoning giant rats into the combat. At least its Smite Good is completely wasted, since Ys is not in the vaguest sense Good. But even after Harshal and Ys catch up, the situation does not immediately improve for our party of rogues - the were-rat and her back-up are simply that bad-ass. Luckily for us, Harshal's silvered rapier find one of the holes in the were-rat's chainmail, and gets driven through her kidney and out the other side. That still leaves the giant rat and whoever is throwing spells at us, and that none of us can see.

Harshal: If it turns out to be Gillert I'll be quite annoyed.

And then the body of the combat monster vanishes.

Harshal: The f**k????
Zin: *fumbling around blindly* I think I feel boob!
Ys: Then finish her off!
Silversniffer: *Popping into existence*NOOOOOOOOO!
GM: He does have a reason to be this stupid - Lovesick.
Harshal: Guessed as much - that Big No was a bit of a clue. Zin, you know where her tit is, you can probably guess where her heart is.

Zin coup de grace the unconscious were-woman, and instantly becomes the target for the spellcaster's revenge.

Zin: I am mostly OK with this, providing you two finish him off.

Zin backpedals fast, and puts a crossbow into the spellcaster's heart. Which is probably a mercy, frankly. Silversniffer really was that besotted with Moonbreaker. But at least we still have silvered weapons intact, so the rest of the clan will probably hold off on mobbing us. The loot includes an old journal.

Zin: Probably love poetry.

The spellcaster also had no material components - which implies he was a psychic sorcerer.

GM: He could stay hidden under his camo net and think bad thoughts at people.

We head back to the surface - with the were-rats' heaviest hitters nicely murdered, follow-up attempts at genocide should go much more smoothly, assuming the lycanthropes don't just scatter.

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On 25.11.2017 at 5:42 AM, Drhoz said:

Flux: And we don't have our own vehicles to follow her. Which is probably just as well - picture Scooter on a scooter. The jokes write themselves.

Now think if he is also listening too Scooter.

 

On 25.11.2017 at 5:45 AM, Drhoz said:

Gillert: If there's a Rust Monster down there we've got problems.
GM: That WOULD be a dick move on my part :D

There is that old D&D supplement, the "Book of Challanges". One of the example encoutners is called "Trolls and Pets", wich has a Troll having two Rustmonster pet. He also has a position where he has good bull-rush options (wich afaik he got a size bonus on back then).

It does also warns against overusing Rust Monsters.

 

On 25.11.2017 at 5:45 AM, Drhoz said:

Honeysuckle Whisperer: You can see me.
Ys: Well, caught a glimpse.
Honeysuckle Whisperer: Damn. I have instructions in case this happened. Meet me in the alley.

Our informant is, in fact, a tiny humanoid rat.

So a tiny humanoid rat that is really good at stealth?

Is it Ninja Master Splinter?

Edited by Christopher
rat not cat

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I just rewatched Wonder Woman yesterday and a few scene got me thinking about fitting memes. I am not sure if this is the right thread so I put them in Spoiler tags. Here goes:



"Drawing all the fire" reminded me of play a tank in any MMO.

5a214ee81cc76_WWtanking.thumb.jpg.1cebbda987e2eeaeb1f82e20a61e716e.jpg

 

I noticed that they had a bard. And then I noitced they have a pretty much complete 5 man D&D team:

5a214edb78360_WWBard.thumb.jpg.9a4515863e58b7bbb7fd3a7591d52ebe.jpg

 

I can not be the only one that heard Emperor Palpatine at this moment:
5a214ecc1f57f_WWAresEmperor.thumb.jpg.a6435276d8792f58f154d7e47c919111.jpg

 

This one would have worked better with the actuall audio, but the subtitle is the next best thing:
5a214ebf87b43_WWGodoftruth.thumb.jpg.c2a99f14f6d9093f5adddd01d87b90e2.jpg

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One of our PCs is a strange mutant (or so she thinks...hehehe...) whose body is nothing but water, code-named Torrent.  Not your typical water-based hero; she can't summon water or blast it or control it, she's just made of it.  Apart from modified Desolidification, her main power is to absorb objects of opportunity into her body, then propel them with tremendous force and accuracy.  Last weekend they happened to be battling inside a restaurant at the Guardians, Inc. company Christmas party, so when the bad guys attacked she absorbed a bunch of random utensils from the table.  Her first attack was to fling a spoon.  Now, she can do some decent damage even with a spoon, but she missed her shot.  So she was about as intimidating as the Blue Raja in Mystery Men.  The bad guys then scoffed at her, of course.

 

One of her teammates said, "Racists!  You're just biased against Aqua-Americans!"

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Our Heroes:

Amon-Ra: Archaeologist who found an artifact that is a conduit to an ancient god.

Diamondback: Exposure to a strange crystal gave her immense strength and durability.

Double-Time!: Given incredible running speed during a lab accident.

Faceless: FBI agent with the ability to assume the shape of any person he sees.

Ka-Pow!: 17 year old boxer and mechanic who's a bit more than human.

Professor Polar: Discoverer of "cold energy".

Shard: Exposed to the same crystal as Diamondback, but instead has the ability to grow and control similar crystals.

Tarraingteacht: Agent Carter's skills with Polaris's powers.

Zoltan the Magnificent: Stage magician who also knows real magic.

 

****

 

Zoltan [after having been introduced to Ka-Pow! and learning that her father works on vehicles for the military] - You have a Daddy War-Trucks!.

****

Diamondback [after the GM notes that no one is really in costume] - We have capes, thank you.

****

Diamondback [commenting on the debate about the nature of magic between Zoltan and Amon-Ra] - But it's a magical pissing contest, so there's sparkles.

****

Diamondback [OOC after one of the other players has to take a hit off her inhaler due to laughter] - I'm a super-villain.  My powers are pecans and laughter.

****

Diamondback - For TRUTH, JUSTICE and punching you really hard!

****

Diamondback [OOC to Ka-Pow!'s player] - Why do you have to be the bitchy child in the game where I'm supposed to like children?

****

Full write-up here.

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Champions : Return To Edge City : Professional Stalkers
GM: How am *I* too innocent for the internet?? I'm the one who once pt out a personal ad in game that said 'Lonely adventurer looking for Halfling Size Queen'!

We should probably find out why a PI from Millennium City is following Elsa and her girlfriend around, and if it has anything to do with the magical survey work Hardlight hired them to do.

Hero Shrew: Flux, you should go talk to them, you're the least conspicuous of us. You're not a shrew and you don't fly and glow in the dark.
GM: Yes he does, I've seen the picture he's using - he looks like a reject from Tron.

Hardlight: Attempting to actually be competent-
Hero Shrew: Hooray!
GM: Ouch.

Hardlight goes to Elsa and Misty's hotel, and calls up to their room. He asks for both of them, which is guaranteed to get their attention since we have no reason to know about Misty unless we've been spying on them ourselves. Misty comes storming out of the elevator.

Hero Shrew: Remind me why we were following them again? Because I forget.
Flux: Don't look at me, I'm not a stalker!

GM: Great, and now I've got ANOTHER song stuck in my head.
Flux's player: The GM's brain is on shuffle.

Hardlight: Apologies for interrupting whatever you were doing - first I should tell you HOW I know what I know. I probably should have told you in advance, but it's standard practice for me to assign a covert security presence for any of my special employees.
Elsa: I've heard corporate politics can be a bit cutthroat here, but that's a bit much.
Hardlight: Quite. But there's a lot of supers in this town. Anyway - our security team reports that you're already be followed by ANOTHER security team.
GM: And Misty goes ballistic, actinic energy crawling up her arms.
Misty: WHAT? WHO? I WANT NAMES!

Hardlight politely enquiries if Elsa and Misty would like their stalker to be further investigated by us. She declines, as Elsa and Misty want to avoid any entanglement in superhero shenanigans even if they already have powers. Which is fair enough, public superpowers are a recipe for Instant Drama.

Elsa also makes her initial report on Edge City's magical infrastructure, which basically confirms the Feng Shui information we already knew, but also that it's deeply embedded in the city's magical presence.

Elsa: To change it you'd probably have to drastically remodel the city itself - and the last time that happened Detroit got renamed Millennium City.
Hero Shrew: Yes, Dr Destroyer didn't really do Orbital Friendship Cannons.
GM: Orbital Enlightenment Cannon maybe - one blast from this and you'll be one with the universe.
Flux: In the sense of sub-atomic vapour?
GM: Exactly.

Hero Shrew: Are you going to tell them that their stalker was somehow tracking them without line-of-site or visible tech?
GM: With Misty right there? You saw how she reacted to the new that they were being followed.
Hardlight: The report I'll forward to Elsa will mention the fact that the PI is superhuman.
GM: You don't want to be anywhere NEAR that explosion when it goes off.
Flux: Well, somehow super-human.
Hardlight: Enhanced in an unknown manner.

Elsa WOULD like us to find out who hired the PI, preferable without upsetting Misty any further.

Hardlight: Scooter, don't mention the investigation around Misty, she'll probably throw you through a wall and I don't know what your medical bills will be like.
GM: It's not like Moreaus trust doctors in the first place.
Hero Shrew: With good reason.

Anyway, figuring out who hired the red-head to stalk Elsa and/or Misty requires us finding the red-head again, which might be even more difficult now that Elsa and Misty are even more paranoid about pursuit.

Hero Shrew's Player: The big mystery was who was sending them, since it needed to be someone who both knew I'd appreciate Cthulhu Mythos related stuff AND knew my postal address. And (Hardlight's player) was convincingly ignorant.
Flux's player: He's good at that.
GM: Ouch.

But we do lurk around the hotel, and after Elsa and Misty leave the redhead shows up - and is approached by a bald-headed man who was ALSO lurking outside the hotel. Too bad none of us can hear whatever they're talking about, since the red-head is clearly surprised, then confused. On the other hand, our party technomage CAN hack their smartphone and listen in that way.

Bald-headed Man: -it's really very simple, Miss Grey. We were less interested in them, than in you. We are no longer interested in her. We represent a group of people who can help you grow, help nurture your talents. We know how it is that you follow some-one, and that is good. You have a talent, and we want you to make the most of it.
Miss Grey: And what if I'm already doing good? And don't want your help?
Bald-headed Man: I wouldn't recommend that - we really aren't good at taking no for an answer.

GM: And this is why I was laughing last session - You were following them and followed her, and they were following her and didn't notice you or care about them - I was mentally plotting all this as you went along.

Flux passes on the information to the rest of us.

Hero Shrew: Well, that last bit was definitely a threat.
Flux: We'll have to wait until he actually gets physical - THEN we can beat the shit out of him.
Fireflash: We're supposed to be proportionate in our response.
Flux: I've demonstrated a lack of control of my powers, so it'll be fine.
GM: THAT IS NOT HOW THIS WORKS.

Bald-headed Man: I think you need to get off that bike and come with me.
Miss Grey: GET. OUT. OF. MY. HEAD.
Hero Shrew: GO GO GO.
Hardlight: *trips off edge of hotel roof and lands face first on the pavement next to Hypnos and Miss Grey*

GM: Fireflash can probably guess who this guy is represents.
Fireflash: PSI - when you absolutely, positively, need someone mindraped into oblivion >:(

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One of the things we looted from the were-rats is an old journal, written in some kind of code that Harshal can't decipher - it appears to be incomplete.

Harshal: Although that might just be all the bloodstains.

On the other hand, it could also be a binary code with some of the book only readable by those with low-light vision, probably by moonlight.

Harshal: That's what I'd do.

It's apparent Ghost-ink - it's visible in the light of firebeetle glands or sunrods. Either possibility works, if all Harshal needs to do is transcribe all the contents to decode later. Useful stuff, ghost-ink - especially if you're faking your financial records and expect to be questioned in a Zone of Truth later. You just put the real numbers in ghost-ink.

GM: 'Are these your real books?' 'Yes'

Ys: I'm calling this the Silver Rodent Decimation Caper.
Gillert: I'm half-regretting missing it now.
Harshal: About that - exactly where were you last night? We did wait for you.
Gillert: I was ill
Harshal: Oh really? Hands up which of us had Ghoul Fever?
GM: He wasn't sick, he was 'tired and emotional'

The adamantium boarding axe is also impressive, but being ungrateful swine we do wonder if it will be even more effective if silvered. At least we don't have to worry about money for a while - our little enterprise re-opening the northern docks is proving so lucrative we could live comfortably on that alone. On the other hand, we could also use it as a profitable front operation for even MORE profitable illegal shenanigans. Guess which we go with.

GM: Do any of the rest of you worship a particular god?
Zin: I pay lip service to about 4.
Harshal: The afterlife isn't something I spend much time thinking about - since it's not likely that I'm going anywhere nice.

GM: aw, we missed Tax-fest. Because that's the only day of the year anybody can enter the Temple of Abadar and voice their complaints about the current situation - and the current ruler can't do a damn thing to them.
Harshal: Would have been entertaining to see what kind of complaints are made.
GM: Would have been entertaining to see how many complaints you lot have engendered.

Harshal: I wonder if I can afford to move into a nicer place now. On the other hand, these down market apartments do offer certain benefits, such as when I'm defending someone who is obviously guilty in court. We can kidnap one of the servants of the plaintiff, disguise one of you as him, have the 'servant' knock on the wrong door at my apartments, then stage a scuffle in my rooms. Having the opposing counsel stabbed won't help the plaintiff's case.
Gillert: You live such an interesting life.
Harshal: Lucrative, too.

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Last night's Historical/Fantasy Hero game. The Heroes are trying to find a way through a partially-collapsed building. So they turn to the Priest, whose VPP is primarily modeled after recorded Biblical miracles:

 

Alchemist: "Wasn't there anyone in the Bible who walked through walls or moved a bunch of rocks or anything?"

Priest: "Well, I can think of one example. But it'd take three days and we'd have to die first."

Alchemist: "...OK, but aside from That Guy...?"

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1 hour ago, bigdamnhero said:

Alchemist: "Wasn't there anyone in the Bible who walked through walls or moved a bunch of rocks or anything?"

Priest: "Well, I can think of one example. But it'd take three days and we'd have to die first."

Alchemist: "...OK, but aside from That Guy...?"

Was there ever a guy that let 3 or more days pass in a short time? IDeally without affecting the outside world?

You could combine those :)

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