Jump to content

Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


Darren Watts

Recommended Posts

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Star Wars game. The Dramatis Personae:

Kal Lupix, Shistavanen Jedi recently thawed from 15 years of carbonite freeze to evade the Jedi Purge.

Kyp Mors, Corellian rogue.

Vis, Farghul pilot and repair-catgirl.

Kara-Lyn, Bothan noble and spy

Vreen, Deshade (big black smooth-skinned alien) bounty hunter, formerly tied to the Emperor's office.

Tai, recent Nagai immigrant two-knife fighter.

 

Our ship, held together with bailing wire and Farghul hairballs, is being fired on by an Imperial picket ship. Vreen tries to con the crew into thinking that he's caught us rather than vice versa.

Vreen: "This is Agent (string of numbers), authorization code (numbers and letters). Who are you?"

The ship fires again.

Vreen (angrily): "WHO ARE YOU?"

Me (OOC, singing): "doot doot, doot doot. Whoooooo are you? Doot doot, doot doot."

 

The commander of the Imperial ship is a Dark Jedi, who is intending to bump Vreen off to clear up some promotion space in the hierarchy. Vreen declares that the fight is personal, so my Jedi leaves them be, instead taking blaster potshots at his contingent of stormtroopers ... until Vreen goes down, then I perform a beautiful leaping, flipping attack on him to open my stage of the battle.

Dark Jedi: "He's out here for a week and he finds a Jedi? This is ridiculous!"

Kal Lupix (snarly): "Tell me about it."

 

During the fight, the combatants (Kal, Kyp and Vreen) and non-combatants (Vis, Kara-Lyn, and Kara's entourage) basically split up. Tai decides to secure the picket ship, which is the idea that Vis and Kara-Lyn had just had.

Kara-Lyn: "Hey, he's stealing our ship!"

 

Kal: "Do we have a deck of cards on the ship?"

Kyp: "Certainly."

Kal: "Are they unmarked?"

Kyp: "Why wouldn't they be?"

Kal: "Well, you have a cat on the ship, so I wasn't sure."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

...after about an hour of working and discussing how to get past yet another trapped door, our brave and now very impatient warrior, "Oh, for crying out loud!" *KICKS DOWN DOOR* *BOOM* "There! Let's go! Anyone have a healing potion?"

 

On meeting with a beholder, our brave and all too rash warrior once again... "I poke him in the eye then brace myself."

 

After miraculously surviving the fight with the beholder, "Ow. Someone get my hand back and get the cleric over here."

 

Just coming out of a small ventilation tunnel and seeing a fellow party member mostly engulfed inside a gelatinous cube, "Ummm... wow... good luck with that." *scuttling backwards*

 

Our fame-enthralled warrior upon meeting a toymaker, "Hey, could you make dolls that look just like me? We could make a whole bunch of them, and once I'm famous, you'll make a fortune!"

 

Toymaker: "Who are you?"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Just remembered another one... This is some custom post-apocalyptic semi-shadowrunnish somethingorother game of dubious origins. We are stuck in a train tunnel in the mountain, we're there for some unremembered reason. We have found a side access tunnel with a large steel door bolted shut. One of the characters, a Eurotrash fellow of questionable intellect, goes in cautiously with our resident SWAT style sniper guy. We've decided that we should check it out. Myself, I stayed in the train, being a "doctor."

 

GM: "As you approach, its as if a presence behind the door knows you're there. There's a deep pulsing from within the mountain, the lights are flashing in time to a pulse you can feel in your body. From behind the door is a sort of groaning that sounds out of this world, as if the void itself were growling at you. As you approach, a darkness seems to spread across the floor in front of the door."

Eurotrash guy: "Right then!" And holds his shotgun at the ready.

SWAT guy, looking incredulously at Eurotrash, "Wha...?!"

Eurotrash: "What? Its just a door... "

SWAT guy, "yeah, an incredibly evil door that makes my soul feel smaller."

Eurotrash: ".... that mean yer not gonna open tha door, mate?"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

For some reason I was just thinking about the very last D&D game I ever ran, some twenty years ago. The party is trying to sneak into the Valley of Giants, but first they must get past the big watch tower guarding the pass. They send the Invisible Thief ahead to scout things out. Because the Thief has been known to behave rashly in the past, he first gets a stern talking-to by the Grizzled Warrior:

 

Warrior: "Remember, this is strictly recon. No combat. None. Just go check it out, then come back and tell us what you see. Don't fight anything if you don't have to. They should never even know you're there."

Thief: "Yeah, yeah, I got it."

 

Invisible Thief sneaks into the guard tower, scouts it out thoroughly, gets all the intel they could possibly want, the guards have no idea he's there. But then, sure enough, he for some insane reason decides to try and take out the four giant guards by himself. Of course he gets mauled.

 

Grizzled Warrior, on learning what's happening (I can't remember if they had some sort of Mind Link or what), immediately leaps onto his horse and leads the rest of the party in a heroic assault to recover the Thief's mangled and bleeding body. The entire group gets beat up pretty badly, and the entire valley is now alerted to their presence, but Grizzled Warrior valiantly holds off the giants while the Cleric and others retreat with what's left of the Thief. Miraculously, they manage to do all this before the Thief can bleed to death.

 

Finally, Grizzled Warrior makes it back to where the Cleric has just finished healing the Thief, and jumps off his horse.

 

Warrior: (in a concerned voice) "Is he all right? Is he going to make it? Good. I beat the **** out of him!!"

 

Strangely, no one tried to stop him. No one even complained when they had to use the last of their healing spells for the day to bring the Thief back from the brink of death (again) after Grizzled Warrior was done with him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Oh' date=' not another one of [b']those[/b]. :D

 

yeah, I know. =) This was another very large group of people that rotated all sorts of various games constantly. I swear I had to make another character every week, practically, and for relatively poor games. A few good ones, but never lasted very long. There were some great players there, which is why I stayed for as long as I did, but after a while it got too crazy with the crazy ones.

 

That D&D story must be iconic, I swear I've been through similar scenes a half dozen or so times... someone goes and does something dumb, rest of party is forced to save them, either through GM charity, luck, or just darn fine playing by PCs they manage to rescue the idiot.... which always ends up with the party, or at least one of the players, beating the trouble-maker into prostration and continuing on from there. =)

 

Kind of like the classic party fighting monsters in the dungeon somewhere while the thief is in another room rummaging through the goods and playing innocent after he sneaks in and does *A* backstab or something, and following the party into the room he was just ransacking.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Teen Champions game finally started up... I'll share one little tidbit with y'all. Y'see, every game I run, I start with the same bad joke. But this time, a player jumped right in with me. Awesome.

 

GM: So, you're all sitting in a tavern...

Kiri: What are we doing in a tavern?

Theresa: Aren't we all underage?

Renaissance Kid: Roll the dice to see if I'm getting drunk!

GM: You. I am adopting you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

So anyway this week the characters are going to Los Angeles in pursuit of someone who'd escaped them on the medieval-fantasy world. In flight they find out that an old "friend" from that world had stowed away- "Glorf", a little Kobold boy and grifter who'd helped guide us in the fantasy city. Glorf doesn't have much command of the English language. This is important for later on.

 

In the course of our investigations, we don't get much info on our supervillain but we do find that in areas he's been the local demon population has suffered a large number of disappearances/kidnappings (this is a campaign like ANGEL, so that would actually be a lot of demons in a modern city) and that some of these demons were reported later on near a factory site.

 

In our investigations of that site we find that the demons are being controlled by some kind of technomancy via collars- in fact the technomancers have cut the demons' heads off and screwed plastic heads on, using the collars as a mystic link to keep the heads alive while using the bodies by remote control.

So as Gary (the half-demon) and my character (Adam the Golem) break into the factory, Gary goes upstairs to sneak up on the factory manager and capture him. I stay behind because my stone form is too heavy to be on the rafters. So Gary captures the middle manager while the Technomancer who really runs the site KOs my character and has two "Bottlecap Head" demons haul me off. Gary manages to beat up the Technomancer but reinforcements show up for the demons so he has to retreat (by the time he'd gotten to where I was the other demons had taken me away).

 

Sure enough, when I wake up, I'm in a row of heads. Fortunately Glorf shows up, having followed us to the factory. I tell him to pick up my head and get me back to the others. Since my head is heavier than a bowling ball, he had to drop me in his carry-on bag, which was full of airline peanut packs.

 

Next scene, Gary is stewing discussing the incident with the NPCs, and the little Kobold runs up to him with the sack over his back going, "Glorf got head from Adam! Check Glorf's nut-sack!"

 

 

So Gary opens the pack and takes Adam's head out and says, "You'd lose your head if it wasn't screwed on, wouldn't you?"

 

JG

Damn. I wanna game with you!

 

Must spread rep before further repping you out of my reach.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

We're polishing up our characters for the first session of a campaign. The room grows silent for a moment. Then...

 

GM: "Jim, do you prefer the ability to do damage to faeries or the ability to see like a spider."

[pause while everyone looks at each other in disbelief at the sudden obtuse question]

[laughter]

Me: "Well, I'm not Jim, but what I chose when I was filling out my online dating form..."

[more laughter]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

So I'm running a Champions Game originally called the Trafic Light of Justice, mainly because the characters had a Red, Green and Yellow color scheme. But It's actually more like the Rainbow of Justice now as there are seven characters each with a color of the rainbow.

 

The players were joking about their team battlecry. All I can say is that

"PRIDE" is their favorite.

 

Okay well anyways the team in transported faqr across the galaxy to the Andromeda Star Empire, where they meet the Empress and her Starknights. Well the Empress being a 15 year old clone whose ever whim is carried out, invites the teams speedster, Terminal to a private dinner.

 

Empress: "We have enjoyed our dinner now we will copulate."

Terminal: "Umm I'm not sure if we're even compatible."

Empress: Disrobe and We shall see."

Portal's Player (OOC): "Kirk her!!"

 

The rest of the game was devoted to figuring out if she should be "Kirked".

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

So I'm running a Champions Game originally called the Trafic Light of Justice' date=' mainly because the characters had a Red, Green and Yellow color scheme. But It's actually more like the Rainbow of Justice now as there are seven characters each with a color of the rainbow. .[/quote']

 

I suggest 'Go Go Power Rangers'. ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

So I'm running a Champions Game originally called the Trafic Light of Justice, mainly because the characters had a Red, Green and Yellow color scheme. But It's actually more like the Rainbow of Justice now as there are seven characters each with a color of the rainbow.

 

The players were joking about their team battlecry. All I can say is that

"PRIDE" is their favorite.

I suggest 'Go Go Power Rangers'. ;)

I suggest Rainbow Six.

 

 

Er, maybe Seven. :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Some of my favorites came from the character I was playing before my current one. I was Mr. Invincible, the team brick with growth and density increase. He was the son of Earth's greatest superheroes who had fantastic powers... and really, he was just nigh invulnerable.

 

So, there's this villainess with more growth than me. She's got about 50-60 points worth, I've got 30. She knocks out the team's super speedster/blaster and goes so far as to swallow him. This is my character's rival and, quite frankly, I wasn't going to have any of that. Not about to let her get away with it, my character, not yet using growth, vaults forward and acrobatically manages to swing himself up her body. He dives into her mouth and down her throat to try and save the poor, poor KO'd squishy guy.

 

She's a robot. That's important in a minute.

 

She seems surprised by having swallowed another of the team but continues anyway. So, Mr. I manages to grab his team mate when they both reach the stomach and attempts to climb back out. The villainess starts to make uncomfortable faces but, as a whole, that just isn't going to work.

 

So, I cradle the poor, poor team mate in my arms, hunch over and turn on density increase and grow. Suddenly, I've got around 80 strength to work with and burst out of her like something that'd want to mess with Ellen Ripley. The team mate's about as good as he's going to get and Mr I's feeling fine.

 

"You... you insufferable worm," she shrieks as she scrambles backwards, clutching at the dramatically huge hole in her torso.

 

"That's MISTER tapeworm to you, Lady!" :mad:

 

--

 

Me as Mr. I, OOC and to the GM: "Kyle, I just bought off naive. How the heck could the ninjas trick me?":confused:

 

--

 

Me, OOC regarding Parliment: "Nine lords enter, one lord leaves.":king:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...