saiyanslayer Posted May 21, 2007 Report Share Posted May 21, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Telthier: "Man the kobolt torpedo!" Skippy, the kolbolt: "Kobolt torpedo?" GM: "You're free of the dire shark's jaws. What do you do?" Telthier: "I RUN. I scamper at full pace." Skippy(OCC): "Telthier is speaking with his concious? I didn't even think he knew his concious's address" NPC, to Telthier: "I am a simple scolar who follows the draconic Propecy to find deeper meaning about to occur here in Xen'Drik, an event that will revole around you." SKippy (OCC): "Hear that? External confirmation that the world does revolve around you!" Skippy: "You are our friend now. These aren't the meals you are looking for." Telthier: "They are good at they do. What they are doing, I can't tell, but they are doing it well." Qualik: "I'll rage, grab him by the ankles, and hammer toss the kobold." Qualik rolls a natural 22 (Ebberron), rolling a 39 on the strength check, and rolls a 26 for the hit roll to toss the kobold onto the airship. Telthier: "F*** me, he cleared it." Telthier watches as two guards jump off an airship 40ft in the air from a critical intimidation rolled by Skippy, the kobold, after hearing both full grown men scream and cry like schoolgirls. Muroni, NPC following the party: "I do not think this isn't the epic battle I was to witness." Teltheir eldrich blasts the last helpless survivor (who hasn't had a chance to attack) after he charms him and got all the information he needed. Teltheir turns to the NPC priest Muroni: "He deserved it, he attacked me first." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Posted May 21, 2007 Report Share Posted May 21, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The Hood: I end up on -35 Stun. I shall Abort To Sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xavier Onassiss Posted May 21, 2007 Report Share Posted May 21, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Priceless. I'm still giggling about this one. Hooray! I made someone giggle. XO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basil Posted May 21, 2007 Report Share Posted May 21, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Jama casts The Spirits Of The Silver Screen, a spell that taps into the collective mythology of Hollywood and the film industry in general. The incantations go like this: I, Jamadigni Renuka, call upon the Spirits of Hollywood Hear me, legends of the silver screen, and lend me some of your symbolic power Schwarzenegger and Stallone, lend me your Strength Chan and Lee, lend me your Speed Wayne and Willis, lend me your Stamina Connery and Yun-Fat lend me your Sophistication I, Jamadigni Renuka, do call and command. Those near her saw her uniform become brighter and more 'color corrected' and heard a voice call "and... action!" There was also the faint smell of popcorn and a strange whirring noise no one could identity. This made me immediately think of Moving Pictures by Terry Pratchett. And that's a good thing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AliceTheOwl Posted May 22, 2007 Report Share Posted May 22, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Flora learns of her love interest's past, and says to him, "In three lifetimes, I'm sure you've been with other women. I just don't want to hear about it." Rastal says, "Then why do you keep asking?" ------------- A member of The Church of Fleshly concerns remarks on how tense Flora has seemed since taking sanctuary in their walls, and says, of her SO, "I can teach the young man some techniques if you like for dealing with that." Rastal says, "Oh, he already knows . . ." Flora, blushing, cuts him off with a sharp, "Sh!" ------------- After describing the industriousness of the members of this Church, the GM says, "There are some benefits to having a lot of happy people around." ------------- Flora, explaining to Daris why he needs to stay in the party: "I can't fight the demons myself." Daris says, "I'm flattered . . . I think." ------------- Describing the texts of the heroes which keep appearing from the other world, Flora says, "They're not entirely accurate. They depict Father Danaecus as a dirty, lecherous old man and . . . I guess he's not. He says he's not." ------------- Flora lends Rastal her ring of invisibility, and cautions him, "Don't lose it! If you do, you owe me another!" ------------- Rastal learns that there's a spell for flying, and expresses interest. The NPC asks if he needs him to cast it on him, and Rastal says, "Not if I learn to do it myself, no." Flora says, in horror, "Rastal and magic; NO!" ------------- About Daris, who is learning to play the flute and has just asked for Flora and an NPC, Rastal says, "Run for your lives; he's got the flute!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Posted May 22, 2007 Report Share Posted May 22, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Digging through old D&D campaign notes: Said to a lawful evil cleric by the party's chaotic good cleric: "I find your acts of faith... disturbing." From my old Talislanta notes (run with 1st Edition Fantasy Hero! and 50 base + 50 disad heroes): The party's wizard to the rest of the party after acquiring a shiny gold ring from an ancient tomb: "Don't worry, I can control it." (said in a very haughty tone) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted May 22, 2007 Report Share Posted May 22, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Steve's post reminded me of an old fantasy game I played in. Brief backstory: I had a halfling thief, who in theory should have been good but in practice kept blowing his rolls. In one dungeon, he managed to (1) get his foot chopped off by a floor trap; (2) get a crossbow bolt in the forehead from another floor-triggered trap; and (3) get a hand chopped off in a wall trap, none of which he spotted beforehand. In each case, the party had to bundle me off to the temple to either get the missing part reattached, or in the second case get me resurrected. Somewhere along the line, however, my character found some magical lockpicks on a body in the dungeon. A few weeks later, some heavies from the Thieves Guild grabbed my character and dragged him off to the guild hall, where he was accused of killing the Master Thief. After all, I had his lockpicks. Me: "You think *I* killed the Master Thief?! Look at this!" (pulls up pants leg to show nice new scar where my foot was reattached) "And this!" (pulls up sleeve to show other nice new scar where my hand was reattached) "And lest we forget, THIS!" (pulls off helmet to show the crossbow-bolt-shaped scar on my forehead) "If I can't even get past a few simple traps, do you *honestly* think I'd have had a chance in Hell of killing a Master Thief?!?" They let me go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balabanto Posted May 23, 2007 Report Share Posted May 23, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Eberron D+D backstory. Our heroes have recovered a series of important documents belonging to House Canith, the house of crafting interesting inanimate objects. Lilll (The Psion): I think I'll go to House Canith to see what we're given for this stuff. Tairil (My crazy Valenar): We should all go, what if they give you a bunch of sofas? Zing (Gnome Warmage): That's ridiculous. They'll never give us furniture! ---------------------------------- 2 hours later, surrounded by self rearranging furniture. Tairil: I told you so. Zing: I hate it when he's right... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balabanto Posted May 25, 2007 Report Share Posted May 25, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... What you need to know to understand this Forgotten Realms quote: This adventuring group has four characters, Zora, the swashbuckling tiefling, Zasheida, her air genasi lesbian lover, Shalaria, the Elf Ranger/Barbarian/Sorcerer/Rage Mage, and Matiesh, the bard from the far south. Zora has a portable hole and an extremely lecherous intelligent sword, once designed for a lothario who seduced Elven Women. The PC's capture a dark elven prisoner, and are debating what to do with her. Tempers are flaring when... Sword: Well, you could always take off her clothes, and... Matiesh: Zora, why don't you take that thing outside, and put it back in your hole where it belongs!!! Zashieda, blanching from blue to shock white...SLAPS Matiesh hard. Matiesh: I deserved that. Zasheida slaps Matiesh again. Zora: I already tried that once.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 25, 2007 Report Share Posted May 25, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... GM: Do you have Seduction? Billy: I spent three years of my life stranded on a deserted island. Who would I have seduced? {puts arm around imaginary palm tree} "Hello, my darling. Your bark is looking particularly radiant today...." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liryel Posted May 25, 2007 Report Share Posted May 25, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Telthier: Qualik rolls a natural 22 Funny stuff, but I'm curious. How do you roll a natural 22? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Obvious Posted May 25, 2007 Report Share Posted May 25, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Funny stuff' date=' but I'm curious. How do you roll a natural 22?[/quote'] Thirty-sided die? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liryel Posted May 25, 2007 Report Share Posted May 25, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Thirty-sided die? Maybe. I didn't mean it to be rude. I just wondered if he figured in some bonus there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Mhoram Posted May 26, 2007 Report Share Posted May 26, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... GM: Do you have Seduction? Billy: I spent three years of my life stranded on a deserted island. Who would I have seduced? {puts arm around imaginary palm tree} "Hello, my darling. Your bark is looking particularly radiant today...." He was out to sea for an entire year after that, he could have got seduction.. just not the kind he was expecting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 26, 2007 Report Share Posted May 26, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... He was out to sea for an entire year after that' date=' he could have got seduction.. just not the kind he was expecting.[/quote'] 'Ello, Poppet.... Yeah, we're seeing Pirates 3 today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Transit Posted May 26, 2007 Report Share Posted May 26, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... WAY off topic. Pirates 3 . Great movie. wait for the ending credits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susano Posted May 26, 2007 Report Share Posted May 26, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From a recent Bluebooking session: The Defender of Angelus spoke to the sky above. And the sky listened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Korvar Posted May 26, 2007 Report Share Posted May 26, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... WAY off topic. Pirates 3 . Great movie. wait for the ending credits. What?! No! Now I have to watch it again! Ah, well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susano Posted May 26, 2007 Report Share Posted May 26, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... What?! No! Now I have to watch it again! Ah' date=' well [/quote'] What? You didn't lean from the first two? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost-angel Posted May 26, 2007 Report Share Posted May 26, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Today's fantasy game. On a ship, attacked by a ghost ship manned by zombies. Our crew members start to die as the attack is pressed. The scout does a quick head count, determines how many people are needed to make the ship go and yells down from the crows nest: "Nobody else is allowed to die!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balabanto Posted May 27, 2007 Report Share Posted May 27, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From the Mind over Matter Playtest Hyperdrive's Player: Mike, I have Research, KS: US Government, and KS: History. Me: Roll HP: I roll an 18 Me: You discover that the United States Government is an existential monad which enables you discover the true meaning of the banana peel. -------------------------------------------------- Gibraltar: Don't feel bad, Partacel. At least you don't have to do the bidding of others when summoned. Magus: When I summon things, they're supposed to do my bidding? Gibraltar: Yeah, like that vending machine you summoned? Magus: Can I snap and desintegrate him now? I wanna snap too... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rapier Posted May 27, 2007 Report Share Posted May 27, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... GM: The creatures are about 8 feet tall with green scaley skin...they are naked. Father Martin: Naked? GM: Yes, but it's Comic's Code. They have no bits. Father Martin: No bits? GM: Yep, no junk. They are junkless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Omega Posted May 28, 2007 Report Share Posted May 28, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... A few bits and pieces from my Hell's Gate Open game (Hellsing meets Witchhunter Robin meets Black Lagoon) Ian O'Toole has just found he needs to infiltrate a bondage party to follow up an investigation. Ian (on celphone): Teng, do you know anything about bondage? Master Teng: How did you know I met a girl tonight? --------------------------------------------------------------- I really didn't think this through... GM: The guards are armed with handguns and uzis. Rory's Player: The Islamic prison guards are using Israeli sub-machineguns? --------------------------------------------------------------- Ian's back from the party. Ian: We could be attacked, have the guards be on the lookout for anything unusual. Rory: Like you dressed in bondage gear? Ian: ... I forgot to change.... --------------------------------------------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted May 28, 2007 Report Share Posted May 28, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Firewing has been appearing in our Kingdom City campaign, and was the one who burnt his way thru the wall and 3's Picasso print during The Coathanger Incident. Firewing announced his intention to kill the latest Storm Lord, but Vitus was more concerned, indeed apoplectic, at the continual invasions of his privacy. (Void also managed to add himself to Firewing's hitlist but we're not so worried about that - almost by definition, Void won't be there if anything turns up looking for him). But according to The Law of Maximum Inconvenience, Firewing turned up AGAIN just as Vitus was settling down to a quiet evening without continual interruptions by the rest of the Skeleton Crew "Lets see.. I can either check calculations that can resurrect the entire world of Aura and all its inhabitants, or I can come help you investigate the murder of a local business tycoon. What do YOU think? Is your businessman going to get any deader?" But by this point Vitus was already thinking in symbolic terms, and considering ways to best utilise local resources to achieve his longterm aims. And all it has taken so far is an offer of alliance with the demonic prince that invaded his, and 3's, homeworld, suggested the torture of Vitus and the murder of his son to Scorpia, and wants his Sceptre back; and some barefaced lying to an entity who makes a regular habit of reducing superheroes to crispy bacon. Thus we have the following exchange Firewing : I have come for the Storm Lord Vitus : Ah, good to see you, please, come in. Firstly, I would like to thankyou for replacing my concubines Picasso. It's a pleasure to meet a truly civilised entity on this miserable world. Firewing : You're welcome. Where is he? Vitus : Given my current feeling towards my former colleagues, I'm tempted to give you their names and addresses, and my blessings. However, honesty forces me to pass on a message to you, from him. Firewing : Oh? Vitus : Yes. He forfeits. He is willing to offer you all merchandising and bragging rights, but he is not willing to risk the inevitable civilian casualties that would result from a fight he will certainly lose. ( the lie - this course of action had never even occurred to him, and will probably result in Vitus earning a good slapping. Followed by congratulations) Firewing, smugly : That IS true, but I was looking forward to his defeat at my hands Vitus : I'm sure you were. I gather you enjoy the challenge of testing yourself against other anthropomorphic personifications? Firewing : Of course. Why? Vitus : Have you ever killed an Elder God? Firewing, intrigued: No? Vitus: Excellent - then I would like to ask you to join me in a small project I'm sure you're find highly enjoyable. Firewing : A small project? Vitus : Yes. I'm going to sacrifice Cthulhu. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spidey88 Posted May 28, 2007 Report Share Posted May 28, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Funny stuff, but I'm curious. How do you roll a natural 22? Two words: action dice. If you use an action dice and end up with a result of 20 or over, it's considered a legal critical success. In our game (that Saiyanslayer is the GM of), a critical success is not necessarily an unqualified success that simply can't be countered, but you do get a plus ten bonus to whatever you're attempting. That's how the barbarian was able to roll a 39 for a Strength check. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.