Remjin Posted July 12, 2007 Report Share Posted July 12, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Okay, so I remembered an old game I was playing in where we had a not so bright player who was scheduled for assassination by someone, because he had done something ridiculous to someone. Something evil, really. He was convinced he was going to die, so he went out and bought all the lamp oil and greek fire he could find. (don't ask) and hauled it all up into his room. There were barrels of the stuff, a bunch of which he left open as to be readily lit. He planned on taking his assassin with him in a great conflagaration. *Knock knock* Idiot Player (hereafter, "IP") "Whose there?" Assassin: "I'm here to kill you." IP: "Right then. Come on in." *Door opens. Assassin stands there, with torch. (its night)* IP: "Come and get me!" Assassin: *throws torch into the room and leaves* IP: *whimper* Dangit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted July 12, 2007 Report Share Posted July 12, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... My favorite quote from the most recent Legends Born session. Made better because every word is true: --------- Huge Powerful Evil Demon: Now you, and your pitiful companions, shall become nothing more than scraps for my minions to feast on! Who do you think you are, that you defy Andraxaneus, The Griefmaker? Astra: I am Princess Astra of the Horse Clan Amazons. We are called the Riders of the Tempest. We have crushed the Scarlet Brotherhood, journeyed into the Dark Hells to free the captive Goddess Neris, entertained Queen Mab the ruler of all dark Fae in her own court, slain the ancient great grandfather of all Dragons, the mighty Dragoitch, whose hide I now wear as armor. And we were the ones who destroyed the Unholy Prince, Garlain the Corrupter, and scattered his armies to the winds. We have traveled beyond the ends of the world, and treated with the Gods. YOU ARE A SIDE TRIP! [The Griefmaker's horn now hangs from her saddle.] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karmakaze Posted July 12, 2007 Report Share Posted July 12, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Our GM's has a rule that excessive punning at the table will bring on XP penalties. (It wasn't instituted because of me, but, um, I may have contributed to it's continued implementation.) GM: Tiger walks out in a karate gi... Me: (OOC) A karate ghee, wouldn't that be slippery? GM: Aaand... that's your first XP loss for the night. (later) GM: Tiger splits you all off into pairs. Me: (OOC, quietly) I'd make a produce joke at this point, but it'd cost me another XP. GM: (sharp-eared) Yes, it would. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OzMike Posted July 12, 2007 Report Share Posted July 12, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... GM: Tiger walks out in a karate gi... Me: (OOC) A karate ghee, wouldn't that be slippery? No, just incredibly tasty. Clarified butter - yummo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrosshairCollie Posted July 12, 2007 Report Share Posted July 12, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Our GM's has a rule that excessive punning at the table will bring on XP penalties. (It wasn't instituted to me' date=' but, um, I may have contributed to it's continued implementation.)[/quote'] I would so quit that game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Posted July 12, 2007 Report Share Posted July 12, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From last night's session of Traveller Hero. GM (me): "The Zhodani ship's laser strike hits in the cargo area, causing a loss of 22% of your cargo. (Pause) You're venting ice cream into space." Cannon: "Nooooo! Our Tarsus Monkey Fudge ice cream!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karmakaze Posted July 12, 2007 Report Share Posted July 12, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I would so quit that game. Well, it's supposed to be only excessive punning. Although technically the offender is supposed to get a warning first. Somehow I seem to go straight to the penalty though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkwleisemann Posted July 12, 2007 Report Share Posted July 12, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I'd be at Incompetent Normal status after the first session! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigdamnhero Posted July 12, 2007 Report Share Posted July 12, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I would never assign XP penalties for excessive punning. You have to go straight for the BODY damage to get their attention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost-angel Posted July 12, 2007 Report Share Posted July 12, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I would never assign XP penalties for excessive punning. You have to go straight for the BODY damage to get their attention. The Players BODY or the Characters BODY? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigdamnhero Posted July 12, 2007 Report Share Posted July 12, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The Players BODY or the Characters BODY? Yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted July 12, 2007 Report Share Posted July 12, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Yes. What? I wasnt listening... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodstone Posted July 13, 2007 Report Share Posted July 13, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Father Martin: Is this as big as it gets? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lethosos Posted July 13, 2007 Report Share Posted July 13, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Father Martin: Is this as big as it gets? Ow. Bad priest joke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tancred Posted July 13, 2007 Report Share Posted July 13, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Fantasy Hero last night: We're fighting Skeletal Warriors (non-Automaton Skeletons, rather tougher than the basic model). Our big half-orc tank gets hit by a Medium Lance in Location 13. Our thief chortles, "You've got Lance in your pants." (If you haven't heard the commerical, never mind.) ****************************************************** One of the NPCs just added to the party speaks with a ridiculous Italian accent (think Tim Conway speaking to "Mrs. Hwiggins"). The GM is still channeling this accent when the following exchange occurs: GM (addressing the thief using a Staff Sling): It's your turn to sheet. Thief Player: Is that a zero-phase action? Player 2: No, but you can abort to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remjin Posted July 13, 2007 Report Share Posted July 13, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Ow. Bad priest joke. To defend Father Martin, its not in the context you're probably thinking, its just a lot funnier out of context. =) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Powerboy Posted July 14, 2007 Report Share Posted July 14, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... My character, who had once been a villain and had a change of heart, was trying to get a date. "So, will you go out with me? I'm not the sadistic monster I once was, you know?" Another player said that should be immortalized in a RPG hall of fame somewhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamLeisemann Posted July 14, 2007 Report Share Posted July 14, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "So' date=' will you go out with me? I'm not the sadistic monster I once was, you know?"[/quote'] If I were the woman being asked out, I'd back away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted July 15, 2007 Report Share Posted July 15, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Two 1930s archeologist/explorers, recently returned from Africa and attended a rather upper-class gathering to try and attract backing for their next expeditions. Both are quite drunk by this point. "Ah, Egypt - that's where I got this mummified head of the Pharoah Ahkenaten" (holds it up) "Funny, I got the mummified head of the Pharoah Ahkenaten too!" (holds his up) "oh, wait, this is just some guy" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rapier Posted July 15, 2007 Report Share Posted July 15, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... To defend Father Martin' date=' its not in the context you're probably thinking, its just a lot funnier out of context. =)[/quote'] Father Martin: "Whaaaaat? I wasn't ALWAYS a priest!" 'Nough said? >8) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remjin Posted July 15, 2007 Report Share Posted July 15, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Father Martin: "Whaaaaat? I wasn't ALWAYS a priest!" 'Nough said? >8) ... I hate it when my own words are used against me. Waitasecond, doesn't that actually back up what I'm saying? Having not always been a priest makes me even less likely of such inferred behaviors. So yeah... thanks for agreeing with me. I think. I hate being stupid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greywind Posted July 15, 2007 Report Share Posted July 15, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Barbarian looking at a piece of art: This looks expensive. NPC with information the players want: It is. VERY expensive. Wizard: Break it. NPC looking at Wizard: What kind of barbarian are you?! Wizard: I'm not. That's why I told him to break it, unless you'd care to tell us... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nekkidcarpenter Posted July 15, 2007 Report Share Posted July 15, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... A group of new pc's in a fantasy setting. I'm playing a Bard who specializes in drumming. Goblins appear near the camp and as everyone starts attacking them I dive under the wagon and start using my drumsticks on every available surface to activate a special ability. Me- I 'inspire courage'. Everyone else- Yeah, you sure do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted July 15, 2007 Report Share Posted July 15, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "So, will you go out with me? I'm not the sadistic monster I once was, you know?" If I were the woman being asked out' date=' I'd back away.[/quote'] And most of the women in my life would have said “Yes, that’s why I won’t go out with you anymore.” Lucius Alexander The palindromedary says “Lucius, you are once again giving out Too Much Information…” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southern Cross Posted July 16, 2007 Report Share Posted July 16, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Oh Lucius,what kind of women did you use to go out with? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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