Balabanto Posted July 16, 2007 Report Share Posted July 16, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From another Mind Over Matter session: The heroes have decided to send someone a thank you note for cookies. Don't ask how that bears on the plot, it's not important. A five minute debate ensues over how to do this. They finally decide on a traditional handwritten calligraphy note. Magus: I'm a doctor! I can do this! EVERYONE: NO! You can't! ----------------------------------------------------------- Captiain Unity 1: I used to believe all that superhero crap, and I still do. Magus: It's not crap, sir. Captain Unity I: I'm eighty two years old. When you have to decide every day whether or not you need a catheter, everything really is crap. Gibraltar: What's a catheter? Chameleon: Something you'll never need to know about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted July 16, 2007 Report Share Posted July 16, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Oh Lucius' date='what kind of women did you use to go out with?[/quote'] I take it you missed the tempest I already inadvertently caused by flapping my harmless little butterfly wings around here. Lucius Alexander House of the Palindromedary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted July 16, 2007 Report Share Posted July 16, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... We're having our epic battle with the big baddie and his minions. I've got the battlemat out, miniatures and terrain and whatnot. The middle of the battlefield is turning into a big charlie-foxtrot and it's tough to see who's fighting who at a distance. Our young paladin swain has just finished off one of the bad guys on the sidelines and he wants to charge into the swirling melee. The player leans over the table, points at one of the figures, and says, "This one's in charge range. Is that an enemy?" I look at the figure he's pointing at and shrug. "That's Castilla (the paladin's ex-girlfriend). It's your call whether you consider her an enemy or not..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zaras Posted July 16, 2007 Report Share Posted July 16, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... For context, a campaign that has been running for nearly six years is nearing a climatic end that may well result in the destruction of the Earth. The storyline has been run before and players from the last iteration are involved in the current run, some 13 players are at the table and one of the Pc's is directly behind the probable cause of Earths destruction, death by alien starships. "Maybe defeating Thanos wasnt such a good idea, look what popped up i his place..." "...You used Galactus as an Npc?" Player 1 "Lets use the G.F.O.O.D. machine on it" Player 2 "What?" Player 1 "Get The **** Out Our Dimension." Gm- "The ships have been firing on every nuclear reactor in France, the whole country is an iradiated wasteland and the Eifel tower has melted." Player- "....Good?" Gemeni of the Zodiac to a player responsible for the above situation- "We would bargain for the planet. Leave us a planet to rule and we will hold it in an Iron Fist for The Damoran Empire!" Gm- "China has been airbursting nukes over thier citys trying to hit the alien craft..." Player- "Post-Apocalyptic Champions anyone?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigdamnhero Posted July 16, 2007 Report Share Posted July 16, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From a Fantasy game last weekend. Our Heroes have arrived at the home of a wealthy merchant family. They need the family's 13-year-old daughter to fulfill a prophecy, and are trying to persuade the girl's mother to let her accompany them. Lady Jiren (NPC): "So what brings you to Ergoth?" Muhzan (PC monk): "Actually, we're here for your daughter." Arto (PC barbarian): "Uh, Muhzan, can you come over here with me for a minute?" Sir Boric (PC knight - OOC): "The barbarian is going to teach you tact? Dude, that's just embarrasing." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted July 17, 2007 Report Share Posted July 17, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... A few from my Mythic Greek Fantasy game (I dont -think- I posted before) *********** GM: So out of the cave comes a large, reptilian head on a long scaly neck....then another...and another... Pelepellonia (OOC): Who gave the Ref more clay! DAMN YOU, HARRYHAUSEN!! ************* Hekai'thetas: Isis loves me Nyssa (OOC): ...This I know! GM (singing): For the cartouche tells me so! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamLeisemann Posted July 17, 2007 Report Share Posted July 17, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From a Fantasy game last weekend. Our Heroes have arrived at the home of a wealthy merchant family. They need the family's 13-year-old daughter to fulfill a prophecy, and are trying to persuade the girl's mother to let her accompany them. Lady Jiren (NPC): "So what brings you to Ergoth?" Muhzan (PC monk): "Actually, we're here for your daughter." Arto (PC barbarian): "Uh, Muhzan, can you come over here with me for a minute?" Sir Boric (PC knight - OOC): "The barbarian is going to teach you tact? Dude, that's just embarrasing." Could be worse. Muhzan could have been the Bard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JackValhalla Posted July 18, 2007 Report Share Posted July 18, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Player 1: No, we're not going to do that. Weren't you paying attention? That'd shut down all the ANCHOR lines. Player 2: Really? Player 3: And that'd release all the villains in MAX9. Player 2: How many? GM: Uhm, over four hundred. Player 2: How much is that in experience points? Sometimes it pays to write these things down right away.. I still giggle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigdamnhero Posted July 18, 2007 Report Share Posted July 18, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Prepping for tonight's Champions game, I came across a few quotes from our last session I never posted: Our heroes (city-folk all) find themselves stuck in a frozen wilderness: Enigma: "Anyone have Survival?" Promethean: "Uh... I've got Paramedic?" Built To Last: "Great. So you know how to treat frostbite, just not how to prevent it." The Frost Giant king welcomes our heroes (well, one of them anyway): King Thrym: "Get this man some mead! And a liiiittle chair!" Enigma: (OOC) "You can't Sweep a Haymaker." Built To Last: (OOC) "Doesn't mean you can't want to." Player 1: "What kind of drugs does [PC] take?" Player 2: "No, we're talking about [player]'s drugs." Player 1: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted July 19, 2007 Report Share Posted July 19, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... A few from a couple of games. First: from the Victorian Adventure campaign --------- Moira: The castle is said to be -extremely- haunted. It is surrounded by thick, wild forests, full of large, aggressive wolves. And in the nearby loch, there is reputed to be a monster... Wild Lilly: Why, ah think ah may have just found mahself a summer home! ---------- Major Ambrose: So, Moira, you get to come with us. Moira: Yay! Major Ambrose: ...So long as you keep your knickers on. Moira: But...Im not wearin' any.... Sir William *shocked*: Please! Not at the dinner table! Wild Lilly: Apparently, she aint wearin em anywhere! Sir William: -------------- Amaravati the Hindi (OOC): No, you go ahead. My instincts tell me to stay AWAY from the British Soldiers. Otherwise theyll want to oppress me. -------------- Szophia (OOC): All right, now that I have him Distracted, does anyone want to do anything to the gunman? Amaravati (OOC): Ill poke him in the eye with my fork of questionable meats! "Youve been gravy-ed!" ------------------ [Wild Lilly recognizes a train robber in England from his wanted poster, which she last saw six months ago, back in the States] Wild Lilly *sliding her pistol quietly into her hand, the act hidden from the gunman by her body*: Why, Big Frank! Last time ah saw YOU was in th' Post Office! -------------------- Big Frank: Huh. I reckon Fancy pants here didnt tell yall whats really in the safe, did he. Major Ambrose: All right then. *He turns to the flustered representative of the exchequer* Whats in the safe, Fancypants! ------------------ Amaravati: Cheeky weasel! ------------------ ------------------ And now, some quotes from the Sequoia City Slayer game ----------------- Desmond (the Watcher): Here is your quarterstaff. Teddi (English Watcher-girl turned Slayer): Am I supposed to be going after Little John? Desmond: Possibly. To be the Slayer, you must become well versed in ALL weapons. Teddi: I see. When do I get to practice with the Harrier? --------------- Jinx *looks around Charles' home, which is gigantic and full of antiques and knick-knacks*: Huh.....I didnt know you lived in the Smithsonian. ---------------- Desmond: There -are- Demons that take heads. Some take them as trophies. Others consume the brains, in order to to gain the victim's skills. Jinx: So...it attacked Mandy because it wants to learn how to be shallow and apply make-up? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodstone Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Wendigo: All I have to do is freshen up my lip gloss and I'm good to go! * * * * * Father Longfellow: What's up with the torture midget? * * * * * Ashna (OOC): I prefer the term "butt nuggets". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost-angel Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Built To Lasts player is complaining about the two female characters being called Inertia and Enigma and the frequency with which the two are mixed up when people are talking. "One of you needs to change - we need to de-enigmafy Enigma." Promethean's player was taking a drink at the time and snarfed spraying his drink everywhere. -- In Faerie where our thoughts/dreams are coming to life ... Enigma's warning: Don't talk to anything, not even the trees. later on... Inertia (to Enigma): Did you say don't kill stuff? Enigma: It was implied. -- (OOC exchange) Enigma: Not Heroic! Whisper (re the Ice Giants): Not Human! Inertia: Code Vs Killing! Whisper: very shaky. . . -- Whisper: Into the evil lesbian forest! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted July 22, 2007 Report Share Posted July 22, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Aquatic giving a quick thumbnail rundown on the rest of the Covenant to Dr Silverback... "...Meghan is fantastic, Mimic has a good head on her shoulders and is remarkably patient with us when the BS flies... Aeroforce will literally take a blast for you and keep on flying into more, Arcadian is hard to know but has lots of experience and Archer is a ...Archer's good at what he does, and nice...in a Dirty Harry meets William Tell kind of way." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted July 22, 2007 Report Share Posted July 22, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Poor Sir Justin. His brief but regretable affair with Castilla, the party's thief and resident crazylady, just keeps coming back to haunt him! The party is about to get into a brawl with a troll, and I'm writing the order of combat on a white board. When two or more people have the same Dex, I use Int to break the tie. Me: Let's see... Sir Justin and the Troll have the same Dex, but I assume Justin is smarter... Ben (OOC): I don't know about that. The Troll never dated Castilla. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted July 22, 2007 Report Share Posted July 22, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Me: Let's see... Sir Justin and the Troll have the same Dex, but I assume Justin is smarter... Ben (OOC): I don't know about that. The Troll never dated Castilla. ZING! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guardian Posted July 23, 2007 Report Share Posted July 23, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... John Stewart sees an attractive female NPC, and wants to talk with her privately without the other PCs around. In order to ditch them, he says - GL: "Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom ..." Sky: "You're a Green Lantern, for Chrissakes! Can't you just teleport your urine into space?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigereye Posted July 23, 2007 Report Share Posted July 23, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... D&D D20 3.5 edition... Party disguises themselves (very well indeed) as orcs to infiltrate the Orc Stronghold and rescue an earlier party of dilettante adventurers from being sacrificed by their leader Thrul to their meanie Orc God. We manage to get through the outer ring of guards and to a sergeant, who is suspicious because he's never seen us before My character, the rogue/aristocrat Sir Desmond (who speaks fluent Orcish): "We are here from the Raised Finger Band- and we are from many days' journey away." Our Bard, Owain- (Raising a finger- you all know which one, and belting out also in fluent Orcish)- "Hail Thrul!" Entire Party (on cue)- "HAIL THRUL!" Orc Sergeant, taken aback, even more suspicious- "I have never heard of your band before. Where are you from?" My Character- "From the Death Star Lands, far to the west. Land of elves and dwarves, where the diet makes us short but hardy. We are here to tell your great overlord of a discovery from our lands. It is possible to sacrifice a human and a elf woman twice!" (GM, also taken aback, but laughing hard, has me make a Bluff Check. I roll a 2, which still is a 13 for my character, but now the Orc is really suspicious.) Orc Sergeant: "Twice!?" Owain, thinking fast, speaking to me and giving me a rude shove- "Fool! You did not explain to him how! Stop thinking with your spleen!" The Orc Sergeant again. "So, explain to me how this works." Desmond, in a moment of inspiration (or is it desparation?) "Have you never heard of a virgin sacrifice?" "Well, Yes..." I trace an hourglass figure in the air. "Well, we have learned with the human and elven women...you can sacrifice their virginity first!" At this point, the entire table breaks up laughing. The GM makes me roll once again. I roll a 20. With modifiers, it becomes a 41. The Orc, intrigued, flabbergasted, but reassured of our bona fides, leads the party to the first secret entrance to the dungeon where the prisoners are being held. He even tells us to drop his name so he can gain recognition. Party, again, as we descend the staircase, all saluting with our raised fingers: "HAIL THRUL!" Even the Orc salutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balabanto Posted July 23, 2007 Report Share Posted July 23, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... This one was OOC, but it's still worth mentioning. It's also a D+D story. Player: Well, half of us are dead, so there's always Plan C. Other Players look up, one of them asks: What's plan C? Player: In Plan C, I coup de grace myself! It's a bloodline related spell. I'll die, and all the demons will turn on my evil father! Other Players: You can't be serious. That will never work. Me: Well...uhm...yes.... It will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Squirrel Posted July 23, 2007 Report Share Posted July 23, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The Great Booger, who is a stretching brick with a oozing, sliming metahuman form is facing Singirl. GM: "The Great Booger tries to grab you." Player: "Abort! Abort!" Candle is attacking the blind Brick. He moves to a new location and states, "It's liking shooting fish in a barrel." Upon smashing the ground to get some pieces of the combat arena, he throws it into Candle. Brick: "The fish bites back." Candle, an energy blaster with fire powers takes a second blow from Brick, leaving him with 10 STUN. GM: "He's not feeling too hot." Player: "No pun intended?" And one line I prepared, months in advance with a very much inside joke but was well worth the out of game reaction: Mimic (aka Michael Williams): "I'm your roommate, Michael Williams." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted July 23, 2007 Report Share Posted July 23, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From tonights Titans Rising hero campaign: ----------- [Neutron finds out his girlfriend got in trouble with her (very old world) family for sneaking off to Mardi Gras with him and his friends] Neutron: Now I feel bad.... Feline Fury: * Gives Natalie a greeeeeat big girlie-huggle* Neutron: ...Now I feel good. ---------------- Feline Fury: Whatcha doin? Fusion: Learning how to juggle. Feline Fury: Can you teach me? 0.0 Fusion *dazzled by Feline Fury's babeliness*: S-sure [Feline Fury has a 26 Dex and Sleight of Hand as a skill. Fuzion has a 14 Dex and no Sleight of Hand. Upshot: cold starting, shes MUCH better at juggling than Fusion is] Feline Fury: ....Want me to teach you? --------------------- Neutron *calls Sylvia the mystic at 3:27 am*: Did you send us another dream? Sylvia *groggily*: Not intentionally... ---------------- Feline Fury: So, how long do you think us Neo-Humans live? Neutron: You? Considering your healing factor, Id expect you to live a couple of hundred, if not thousand, years. Feline Fury: A couple thousand years?? I gotta get a hobby..... -------------- Inertia: Secrecy was one of their most potent weapons. Fusion: Now all they have is fear. Fear, and surprise. Surprise, and fear. Their THREE chief weapons... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted July 23, 2007 Report Share Posted July 23, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Big battle against an enraged troll. The troll takes a swing and clobbers Trouble, the party's big burly lizard-man warrior. I roll a heinous amount of damage, and pause for a moment while the player adds it up. Me: Trouble, are you hurt? Trouble: Nah. I still have 4 Body and 1 Stun left. I'm fine! Me: Trouble: Is that the best he's got?!? ...God, I hope that's the best he's got... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nekkidcarpenter Posted July 23, 2007 Report Share Posted July 23, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... GL: "Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom ..." Sky: "You're a Green Lantern, for Chrissakes! Can't you just teleport your urine into space?" Uh, it's Yellow! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transmetahuman Posted July 23, 2007 Report Share Posted July 23, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Uh' date=' it's [i']Yellow![/i] Repped! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkwleisemann Posted July 23, 2007 Report Share Posted July 23, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Curses! Beat to the zinger! (And repped....) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Major Tom Posted July 24, 2007 Report Share Posted July 24, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Uh' date=' it's [i']Yellow![/i] Not if you're taking furosemide, it's not. Major Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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