Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[Enforcer84]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

"That owl saved my life. You will end your undeath the way you ended your life. Cut to ribbons."

[Beetle]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

This isn't really a new quote, but it came up the other day and I thought I'd share.

 

I was running an FH campaign with two experienced gamers and two fairly new gamers, one of whom was playing a sorcerer. The sorcerer announced his intention to open up a pouch they'd gotten off a dead spell caster. The player, being new, didn't think to cast a detect magic spell before opening it. Since it was trapped, I decided to give him a break.

 

New player: I'll open the pouch

Me (GM): Make an intelligence roll.

New player: What's an intelligence roll?

Old player: It's a life preserver the GM throws you when you're about to do something really stupid.

[Guest Soulcatcher]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

One of the signature quotes of our group is: " Why don't we split up, we can take more damage that way."

 

In our D&D group, in our last session:

 

DM: Well, you defeated one of the most powerful encounters down here.

 

Myself: You mean they lost to the most dangerous encounter down here, us.

[sharxboy]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

After my friend Brent's character got knocked out the player tossed his character sheet (in a sheet protector as we protected all longtime characters sheets) on to the table and sat back in disgust. Well, we had a one shot player that day, a funny as heck Scottsman named Ron who immediately turned to him and asked "Can I have your plastic?" My friends face darkened as he sat dumbfounded and even more mad, but the rest of us were on the ground laughing at the look on ol' Brent's face. Thanks Ronnie!

 

EJ

[DocMan]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Two quotes from last Friday's Champions game:

 

Klytus (the GM): (in spooky, yet urbane character's voice) I represent...

Players: ... The Lollipop Guild, The Lollipop Guild...

 

Later on, while Foxfire was trying to determine which attack to use:

 

White Heat: You Foomfed him last time so you're Shoomfing him this time.

 

Doc

[rayoman]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

This happened in a D6 Star Wars game back before I started playing with the group in 1993. Rob played a Cyborg Pirate. The guy really did outlandish things. Some people would call them stupid, but I am not some people.

 

After the group arrive on planet to infiltrate the secret Imperial base the following was requested by the Cyborg Pirate when he approached the first Taxi driver he saw.

 

Cyborg Pirate: "Take me to the Secret Imperial Base."

[Tim]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

This happened in a D6 Star Wars game back before I started playing with the group in 1993. Rob played a Cyborg Pirate. The guy really did outlandish things. Some people would call them stupid, but I am not some people.

 

After the group arrive on planet to infiltrate the secret Imperial base the following was requested by the Cyborg Pirate when he approached the first Taxi driver he saw.

 

Cyborg Pirate: "Take me to the Secret Imperial Base."

 

 

A good cab driver would have.

[rayoman]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Oh, you made my gut hurt!

 

More quotes from last Saturday's session of the Final Fantasy 7 game --

 

==========

 

"That was the last thing I remember of that day. I woke up a few days later in a little town..."

 

"Did you have a traffic cone with you?"

 

[rayoman]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

 

I posted the quote without realizing I posted the same quote on page 2 of this thread.

 

 

 

A good cab driver would have.

[Kirby]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Wow! I've just found this thread tonight and it's taken me three hours to go through 17 pages, so I'll have to read more later. Anyway, onto a few quotes. These are all oldies, but goodies.

 

Scene: Bank being robbed. It was my first time playing Champions. A few villains, one of which was holding a female hostage. I thought I could hit him. I rolled, missed him and hit her. My damage was very low, but enough to knock her out. My fellow players looked at me in shock, not believing I would attack a villain holding a hostage. I needed to save face somehow.

 

My character: That was "stun," do you want to see "kill?"

The villain dropped the woman and held up his hands in surrender.

 

 

Five real years later. Champions Western Hero game.

Scene: Rain falling. Three PCs outside w/weapons pointed at an Outlaw. My character was a bounty hunter. The "villain" had a female hostage. There was a river/stream nearby with rushing water.

 

Outlaw: Anyone come closer and I'll kill her.

Me: Not if I kill you first. (I shoot at his shoulder and miss him by 1, hitting her)

Female: (Screams)

PC #2: Damnit! Don't do that again.

Outlaw: You'll pay for that. (Shoots & misses)

PC #3: I'm going to try and ease around to his blind side.

Me: Forget it, bad roll. You're going to jail. (I shoot at his leg, miss him by 1, hit her)

Female: (Screams)

Outlaw: I can't believe you're letting him shoot at me! I'll kill her if he doesn't.

(Fires at me, grazes off arm)

PC #2: STOP SHOOTING HER! (It's the girl we three all want to date)

PC #3: I'm running to get the doctor.

Outlaw: Leave me alone bounty hunter.

Me: I'll take you in if I have to kill you first. (I fire at his *other* shoulder; miss by 1, hit her)

Female: (Faints)

Outlaw: Oh, hell! (Runs away, slips in the river/stream)

Me: F*** it, I'm jumping in after him and will either catch him or die drowning. I don't want to go to jail for this [GM].

 

Later that year in a Legends of the Five Rings game.

Scene: Ryoki Owari (Big city; lots of crime) Our samurai are hot on the trail of some evil magic users's servants. They split up and we choose to do so as well, one on one. My character is a Scorpion (think Japanese spy/mafia family) Bushi. Follows one and traps him in a warehouse where he takes a peasant hostage.

 

GM as criminal: Don't come any closer, or I'll kill him.

Player #2: (To GM) His character is a Scorpion, does this guy realize this?

GM: Um, hmm, his jaw starts quivering.

Me: Go ahead. Or I can do you a favor and gut you both.

GM: Wait, please, don't!

Me: (Tells GM I want to make a called shot missing the hostage if possible, but if not, to be able to hit them both) I roll well enough to miss the hostage and kill the criminal.

GM as Peasant: Thank you! I owe you my life.

Me: Silence. Don't tell anyone that I saved your life, or I'll kill you.

[Kirby]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Golden Age Champions

My character (Orion) falls several hundred feet or so, taking little or no body, but is worse than -100 stun.

 

Player of Sgt. Justice: I think Orion just did 1" of knockback to the Earth.

Character of Sgt. Justice: (Looking at his girlfriend, Lady Shadow) Did you just feel the Earth move?

Lady Shadow: Yes.

Sgt. Justice: I'm just that good, aren't I?

 

 

____________________

Modern Age Champions

Scene: It's December and a villain has taken the guise of Santa Clause and is using a flying red sleigh with eight reindeer to cause mayhem. Reindeer have miniature missiles that they launch & evil Santa's bag had various destructive devices in them. Thor (Sgt. Justice's grandson; same player) has KO'd evil Santa and is trying to control the sleigh, though he has no idea how. My character (who can't fly) is being carried by a flying female PC, trying to catch up. (Since I'm the brains of this group.)

 

Me: Okay, he's not looking at us, right?

GM: Correct, he doesn't appear to notice you.

Me: I'll shoot my flash at him, knowing it won't blind him hoping he'll notice. (Flash roll made, perception roll made)

Thor: Great, I'm standing on hundreds of explosives and the lovebirds are trying to pass me.

_______________

 

Same game, same day. The sleigh has landed. The other PCs are a block away fighting the remnants of the evil Santa's troops. My character is trying to disarm the reindeer. I fail my demolitions roll (17) and all of sudden all reindeer eyes light up and a computer voice says "reindeer armed." I look into the red bag and find various explosives, one of which is hand-shaped grenade.

 

Me: Huh, a hand grenade. (Pulls pin, puts hand grenade back into bag.) RUN! Santa set it to self-destruct!

 

About one turn later all the explosives went off destorying one city building and severely damaging the block. It was the *only* time my character did property damage and no character (except for my other PC -who was a SEAL buddy- in a Dark Champions game in another city) ever found out about it.

[Kirby]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Star Wars (d6)

 

Scene: Planet at the edge of known systems. Our team is infiltrating an Imperial secret base.

 

GM: (paraphrasing here) A shadow covers everything you see. From above, a huge object eclipses the sun. A feeling of immenent doom -should you fail- comes over you. Looking up, you see an ominous sight in the shape of a spearhead. You recognize the vessel as... (cueing music)

MUSIC: (Intending Imperial March) Star Wars Cantina theme.

__________

 

Later that game day, an Imperial officer has found us (in Imperial uniforms)and is questioning our suspicious activities. All of us appear legit, except for one, who is carrying C-4 in his cargo pants.

 

PC #1 (leader): And that's how our orders were rerouted.

Imperial: Almost everything seems to be in order, but you [PC #2] haven't explained why you have the demolitions and where you have been for the past half-hour. Explain yourself.

PC #2: Well sir, if you must know, I was masturbating.

 

We laughed for about 1/2 and hour.

__________

 

While trying to escape, we come upon a dark jedi who keeps reflecting our bolts and is getting closer to us.

 

PC #3: Wait! Everyone fire on my signal; he can't deflect them all at once!

 

(Sadly, he reflects them all and my PC - the bounty hunter - gets hit with his own 6d6 blast and gets killed.)

[Kirby]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Deadlands

 

It was our first time playing the game the game. My character was a short female and I was just looking over her stats when I noticed her agility/dexterity was very good.

 

Me: (Out loud, to myself) Damn, I'm a nimble little, f***.

Kyle: (Bursts out laughing)

Jana: (Slaps me)

Me: Ow! What? Oh, I didn't mean it like that. Though she probably is.

Jana: (Slaps me)

__________

 

D&D 2E

 

We have many funny instances of things happening that don't have a specific quote with them, and some that may take to long to explain, such as "Weasels! A horde of Weasles, run for your lives!" along with the infamous night of the "slaughter of the elves," and Marvin's literal body piercings.

 

One memorable event was after Jana's character walked into a trap and set off a fireball. The DM had her roll saving throws for each of her items. Towards the end, it went something like this:

 

Jana: Almost finished, scroll case.

DM: (Rolls) Saved. Next.

Jana: Torches

DM: Torched. Next.

Jana: Candles

DM: Burned. Next.

Jana: Jeff, you're not rolling.

DM: Yes, dear, I know. Next.

Jana: Rope 50 feet.

DM: (Rolls) Hmm, saved. Next.

Jana: Nope, I think that's it.

DM: Okay, let's...

Jana: Wait! I found something. Ring of... what is that? ... oh, ring of fire protection.

All: (Laughing for a bit, then...)

Dave: (In a mocking squeaky voice) If you put them on your fingers, they work.

[mattingly]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Player 1: Eurostar?!? Oh, man, they're gonna wipe our asses.

Player 2: Uhh, I think you mean whoop.

[Kirby]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

(Dang, am I the only one responding any more? )

 

Okay, last set for now.

 

Champions (4 color)

Scene: Dr. Destroyer's island. Our group: Caliber >Me<, Thor, Nike (Wonder Woman martial artist), and Olga (2nd strongest brick when fully grown w/density increase, right behind Grond, has morphing & shrinking powers as well) just finish beating up some Destroyer agents. We see another squad, much smaller than the first, heading towards us. Olga (normal size) picks up one of the downed agent's energy rifle, points it at the guys coming and misfires shooting every last round out of it. She ends up hitting each of us once, misses the agents, but hits several power generators (doing serious damage), setting off a chain reaction that destroys by explosion those generators relatively near us as well as knocks out the agents that were heading towards us.

 

Olga: Oops.

Caliber: Oops? Oops?! Olga, you are no longer permitted to *ever* use a firearm, physical or energy, without my expressed approval. You nearly got us all killed!

Nike: And here I thought we only did property damage in Tri-City.

Olga: What was I supposed to do? I don't have any ranged attacks and they were too far away.

Caliber: Olga, I am the shooter here; that's why I carry two pistols. I'm the only member on the team that can't pick up a car. I get the weapons! I'm trained for them, you're not.

Olga: But I don't have a ranged attack, what was I supposed to do?

Caliber: Olga, you have single-handedly, well, dual-handedly torn off the sides of buildings. You have done more property damge with your fists than Thor ever has.

Thor: -Hey!-

Caliber: Why not do what you did last battle and try punching them?!

Thor: I guess it's safe to say that Dr. Destroyer knows we're here.

Caliber: Hell, Tri-City probably knows we're here, now.

__________

 

Scene: Atop a building in Tri-City. Our group is fighting a few members of Zodiac. One of the members -Libra, I believe- weakened my character (Caliber) with some attack turning him partly into air. Our newest member, Nocturn, runs over to me after I fall down.

 

Nocturn: Are you okay?

Caliber: >Choking sound< (One hand points towards throat, one pointing toward torso which is invisible.)

Nocturn: Well, you can take care of yourself. I'll be on my way.

__________

 

Futuristic Champions (Legion of SH style)

Scene: Firewing has just come to a planet and started wreaking havoc. Our group goes in to intercept him on his rampage. Both Firewing and my character are hovering above the ground about 10-20" or so. (Paraphrasing)

 

Valor (yes, a 300 pt naive version): Stop where you are! We cannot allow you to continue this any further.

Firewing: Move aside mortal. You are not native to this planet. My destiny is to find and defeat this world's greatest gladiator and raze the planet until he comes forth. I will severly punish anyone who attempts to prevent this.

Valor: (Inhales deeply) You're going to have to get by me first. (To the GM) This is going to hurt, isn't it?

GM: (Nods head) Yep.

Valor: (Exhales. Ends up being dazed prior to taking 20" or so of knockback.)

__________

 

Dark Champions are the following three.

 

Scene: Warehouse. Our team versus hired mercenaries. My character (Cavalier - 40 STR, flies, N-Ray vision, regenerates) goes up against Scorpia (from Terror, Inc., though no one else from there is present). He tries smooth talking her so they won't have to fight. She's allowed him to put his hands on her shoulders and give a massage. Then she guts him and pulls her blades out.

 

My guy's response: shows her the healing wounds and then says, "You may be hot, but now I'm gonna' have to beat you."

__________

 

Scene: The docks. Our team is fighting the supervillain leaders of a Yakuzza gang. During the fight, we have discovered that the villains have some drugs and/or weapons in the warehouse. There is a nearby van that some of the villains arrived in. Enigma is our main brick (my character being the other). When he's at full growth, he has a 90 STR. Gladiator is a grim version of Captain America and our team leader. Iron Bull is the villains' brick.

 

Gladiator: Iron Bull is heading into the warehouse. Cavalier, stop him!

Cavalier: I can't! I'm entangled again. Be out in a sec.

Enigma: I'll stop him.

Gladiator: You're too far away!

Enigma: Not any more. "Grows to full height." (To GM) I want to pick up the van and throw it at the warehouse.

GM: (Thinks, writes stuff down.) Okay, with combat going on, we'll say the warehouse is DCV 3, but you are very far away and the van is definitely not aerodynamic. Okay, you are effectively an OCV 8 trying to hit a DCV 3, so only a 17 or 18 will miss. An 18 has a chance to hit a teammate.

Enigma: (Picks up van and throws it.) Seventeen.

All: (Amazement and laughter)

Cavalier: (Breaks free of entangle. Speaks in friendly sarcasm.) Enigma, you are the only guy I know that can't hit the side of a warehouse. And with a van, no less.

Enigma: (Returning to normal size, with an embaressed grin on his face) Shut up.

__________

 

Scene: Haunted area of town. Our patrol (Gladiator, Psychic Warrior, and my new character: Checkmate) is searching for a Spectre-like being called Totengeist, but instead we stumble across some evil cult. We're in over our head when Totengeist shows up and proceeds to wade through the cult, but he doesn't care for us either. He takes off his "Phantom of the Opera"-style mask and yells a PRE attack of "GO AWAY!" to everyone. The remaining cult members die of heart attacks.

 

Psychic Warrior: I just wet myself. I'm going home to my happy place.

Checkmate: (Nodding head real fast) Patrol's over?

Gladiator: (Nods back fast) Patrol's over!

 

We get on our motorcycles and go our separate ways. Psychic Warrior goes home and curls up in a corner. Gladiator goes to the base and hides under his covers. Checkmate pulls up to a bar, takes off his helmet and gloves, puts on a trenchcoat then goes in.

 

GM as bartender: What can I get you, stranger?

Checkmate: A pitcher of beer and a glass.

GM: Here you go.

Checkmate: (To GM) Okay, I pour a full glass, set it down and drink from the pitcher.

[SKJAM!]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Ooh, someone actually used Totengeist?

 

Neat!

 

SKJAM!

[Koshka]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

In last night's D&D 3.5 game, one player has always been a little overconfident about some of his skill usage. We got into a fight with a giant crocodile, and he announced that he was tumbling over it to set up flanking. Then he rolled a 1. He still would have made a normal tumbling check, but since he was cutting through an occupied square the tumble failed, the croc got an attack of opportunity, and one chomp later that PC is at -2 hit points.

 

"I guess I shouldn't have rolled a 1."

[Enforcer84]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Our most recent (D&D) game. The four of us are a prototypical adventuring party...Fighter, Rogue, Mage, and Priest. We are youngsters that recently left our tiny home town to see the world. Our first big adventure centered on our town council, the most influential man in town had been skimming off the top. Over the years the town had fallen on hard times due to his greed. We uncovered it and ran him off. Fast Forward three months and we are in the town of Port Fulson (not to be confused with Fort Poleson), and we know he's here. Magnyr, my CG figher wants to pay the man a visit, we have his local address. The CN thief is all for it and the NG Cleric (with int 8) is ready to go. But the LG Mage says that we can't break the law just to get someone we think is bad. He's a citizen of the town and hasn't done anything wrong here. The argument gets heated.

Just then our hidden benefactor, a paladin announces his presence (he payed for us to be healed after our last successful but costly battle. He wants us to aid him in destroying a great evil. The mage is practically tripping over himself to impress this guy.

The task? Taking an evil artifact from the house of a corrupt city official.

So we're making plans and Magnyr finally stands up and says:

"I am sorry sir, but we will not be involved in a plan tha breaks into the house of an upstanding citizen of Port Fulson, on merely your word that he is evil! Come on, Ichabod (the mage), let's leave."

Ichabod: "...I hate you all..."

[Blue]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

This is actually from 2 weeks ago, but I remembered it during lunch, so here goes...

 

The Setup: We're playing a variant of the World of Darkness. One ability "Dream", where for each dot in Dream you can overnight dream for a temporary dot of an ability. We had been using dream to learn things like Chinese, Arabic, or any other language for places we were visiting.

 

ME: "I bought a dot of Might, so now I can go back to using my dream for Arabic. But no, I think I'll take Heiroglyphics."

GM: "Ok."

PLAYER 1: "Is Heiroglyphics written only?"

ME: [snickers]

GM: "Yes."

ME and PLAYER 2: [Laughing]

ME: "How do you suppose that would sound? Bird - Sun"

PLAYER 2: [as if answering] "Bird - Sun - Bird - Eye - Pyramid - Boat..."

 

PLAYER 1 simultaneously smirked and gave us an evil stare.

[Pegasus]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

When last we saw our heroes...

 

Our resident megabrick had a monkey on his back. Literally. A four foot four-armed idiot ape demon, was jumping on his back and squeezing like hell, which our brick promptly ignored. The creature started screaming "You surrender? You surrender?!"

 

Our brick shrugs and, rolling his eyes says "Yeah. I give up."

 

The ape creature said "Good!" and jumped off of him.

[Derek Hiemforth]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Heh. I was going through notes from the Challenge of the Super-Friends game at this year's KublaCon, and came across this line from none other than our illustrious Darren Watts (playing Aquaman):

 

"Galloping Groupers! Superman is drowning and Uranus is made of water!"

[Koshka]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Well, it cracked up everyone at the table ...

 

I'm running STAST, last session the heroes captured their first COIL agent. For those who don't have that book, 5th edition COIL agents are fanatically loyal.

 

Player 1 (holding the agent in the air in one hand -- yes, he's a brick): Do you surrender?

 

Me: He spits in your face.

 

Player 2, to player 1: Missile Deflect it!

[Magmarock]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Last night, in our Superhero game, UNIT 1, the following occured...

 

 

Location and situation: Honduras. At a power station where a giant, globular, corrosive-leaking monster was sucking up the electricity so it could grow more powerful and divide (procreate).

 

Team leader is Union Jack, who is spraying down the creature with a fireman's hose (yeah, he flew in the whole truck first, because we found out the creature was suseptable to water). UJ tells my PC, Tiger-Eye, to shut down the power switches so it can't feed.

 

Madox 2 another team member is trying to keep the monster busy, but it still focuses on Tiger-Eye because she is closer.

 

So there I am, dodging this huge moster and trying to open one of the several locked boxes.

 

Me: I'm going to rip the cover off. (This is mee being stupid because I could've used a martial maneuver to do more damage)

 

GM: Roll your strength

 

Me, after rolling 5 dice and getting 3 ones: Ah, man! This character sucks!

 

Another Player, my brother, no less: It's not the character...

 

Me: Hey!

[Klytus]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

In our Champions game, a villian named Wendigo (think Sabretooth from the first X-Men movie, only with white hair) charges and rips into Electrum, the robot-brick of the PC's. He does 20 BODY with a 4d6 HKA, but blows the STUN roll, so the brick takes only 5 BODY and 5 STUN. Electrum says "Here's how its done, Chewbaca!" and rolls a 5 on his to-hit roll, and on the 12d6 punch, he rolled 8 6's!

 

Later that game, one of my epic villians, Dr. Z, contains one of the heroes (Silhouette) in his STR 60 telekinesis (which manifests as a glowing white sphere) and thretens to kill her unless he gets what he wants. Her teammate (Foxfire) rushes back to base to tell the others "Zee has her in one of his White Balls o' Doom!"

[Guest bblackmoor]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Our resident megabrick had a monkey on his back. Literally.

 

It probably won't be as funny second-hand, but during the climactic battle between our mystery powers characters and the equally mysterious Mr. Mental, we had finally found and confronted Mr. Mental, only to discover that he was an experimented-upon gorilla wearing a brain-amplification helmet (the brain-amplification helmet looked kind of like Robbie The Robot's head).

 

At one point Mr. Mental had us on the ropes, with one of us tossed out the window and my character trapped in a monkey cage. Powerless to get out of the cage, Mr. Mental started throwing peanuts at me and shouting, "Does the human do tricks? Would the human like a PEANUT? Does the human want a BA-NA-NA?"

 

Much of the humor was due to the GM's delivery. I guess you had to be there to hear his syllable-by-syllable emphasis on BA-NA-NA. I was rolling.