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Darren Watts

Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

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RE: bad joke

 

::Bad Joke Ahead::

 

 

Last night's M&M game. The heroes arrive at the scene of a tech theft just in time to catch the thieves exiting the building through a hole they've blasted in the sixth floor. A man is thrown from the hole; Solar Core catches him in mid-air and returns him safely to the ground. His name is Dr. Clarence Clearwater.

 

"Clarence Clearwater... is he unconscious?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Wake him up. It'll be a Clarence Clearwater Revival!"

 

Boo! Booooooo! (laughs real hard). Why didn't I see that coming?! Actually, I liked this joke.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Some time ago, one of my brother's heroes used HKA to chop off a villain called Scorpion's mechanical arms and tail. Later, he's talking to another hero who never met Scorpion:

 

"Yeah, I decapitated Scorpion."

(other heroes shocked reaction)

"Um, I mean I chopped off his arms and tail."

(not much better reaction)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From last Friday's game, lines voted most likely to be taken out of context...

 

"It took me a minute to figure out what you were thrusting in my general direction..."

 

"... especially since the part I saw first was all white and creamy."

 

Spoken about an offer of a potato chip with garlic dip on it.

 

Doc

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Posted this elsewhere, but hey :)

 

From "Let's go to the Maul" when Dervish, not knowing Black Diamond's ultra heavy nature, attempted to zip up and do a passing throw. He ended up seizing her by the waist, was jerked to a stop as he couldn't budge her.

 

Dervish pats her mid section a bit, looks up and goes "You know, you hide that remarkably well..."

 

Black Diamond arches a brow and responds, "You realize, I'm going to hit you now?"

 

Dervish sighs, "Yeah, I know."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Ok I need context for this one ... are we talking Ribbits or the French?

You know it's more fun without context ;)

 

D&D "Monster" Game this weekend. I played my kobold thief, Sneaky Jeb. We were sent to this place to retrieve a woman who has gone missing. We're not a big fan of retrieving things. Being monsters, if the mission doesn't involve the words "hit", "kill" or "eat" then we all snarl. In this case the woman was long gone and a Roper had moved into her cabin. Upon killing the roper her pet/familiar frog showed up. He only knew how to ribbit or say his own name. But when it came to giving us information on where we needed to go, he wrote it out in the mud, in verse, prompting me to wonder about about why the frog could only ribbit to yes and no questions but could write out a complicated rhyme for us. Hence the quote.

 

Still makes no sense. But then neither does sending a hobgobline wizard, kobold shaman, kobold thief, lizardman warrior, and a minotaur to retrieve a human woman. We're more likley to eat her once we find her.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

This one may need some background.

 

It's D&D in the Forgotten Realms. About a year ago the GM was running the Time of Troubles modules. (Don't bother with them, they're heavily railroaded.) One of the PCs is a hothead with little sense of tact; combine that with all the players being long since ready to finish these modules and go back to adventures where there's a point in our showing up. We finally get to the "dramatic conclusion" in which the GM is supposed to read us some of the concluding paragraphs from the novels. Ao, the head of the Realms pantheon, has made his appearance. The player of the hotheaded PC decided to tell off Ao, and actually got three words into her rant before most of the other players simultaneously yelled "Shut Up!" (The GM ruled that we acted in time, and therefore Ao wouldn't vaporize that PC.)

 

Fast forward to the last game session. Since then, my mage/loremaster has acquired a pseudodragon familiar. We met up with a major NPC, and the hotheaded PC got into an argument with him. Partway through, the GM paused the argument to tell me that my familiar was looking back and forth between the two characters like a tennis spectator.

 

Me (over the mental link with my familiar): That's right, you weren't around when she tried to tell off the head of the gods.

 

GM (as familiar): Wow. I thought she was only stupid.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Again, from my Fantasy HERO Battlegrounds game (modified for my setting).

 

"Hey, there are diamonds in these holes! You can see them if you go and bar the doors!"

 

It almost worked, too.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

In our Champions game, my character (Kendrick) is sort of a mystical Merlin reincarnation type of guy. He's middle of the road in resistant defenses, unlike the team's two *really* tough bricks.

 

So, we're fighting some Mecha. Kendrick gets hit.

 

Other Player: "You took *how much* BODY???

 

Me: "Kendrick's not really built to stop 57mm armor-piercing shells..."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Player 1: Whew! Now that that horrible monster is finally down, I wanna go find the body and extract a tooth for my trophy.

 

GM: You mean the creature you just fought? This creature here on the cover of my Cthullu book? The one that just retreated into the watery abyss?

 

Player 2: The one that’s probably just down there taking recoveries?

 

Player 1: Scratch that. I’ll run.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

WARNING: Politically Incorrect Humor Ahead!

 

This is an oldie, but a goodie (or a really baddie). My character at the time was an Iron Man power-armor type. At one point, his secret ID was cracked by a servant of a Chinese supervillain (That Lirby Koo or whatever it was guy from 4E, I think), who promptly stole his armor, put it on and was using it to try to get the group in big trouble. When my character discovered just who was responsible, he loudly exclaimed ...

 

"Damn! There's a chink in my armor!"

 

Told you it was politically incorrect.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

"Damn! There's a chink in my armor!"

That's good. Too bad nobody added "Dock that Chinc a day's pay for nappin' on the job," from Blazing Saddles.

 

Here you would use 'nappin' as short for kindapping the armor, but still.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

In our Champions game, my character (Kendrick) is sort of a mystical Merlin reincarnation type of guy. He's middle of the road in resistant defenses, unlike the team's two *really* tough bricks.

 

So, we're fighting some Mecha. Kendrick gets hit.

 

Other Player: "You took *how much* BODY???

 

Me: "Kendrick's not really built to stop 57mm armor-piercing shells..."

 

From that same game:

 

Me: 4 Months, 1 Day, 1 Hour, 6 Minutes and 3 Seconds.

 

GM: What?

 

Me: That's how long it's going to take before Neutron wakes up again. I do believe that's a new record for this group.

 

And he didn't take a single point of Body off that hit.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

My regular group switched to Shadowrun for a couple of weeks to change the pace. Having never played Shadowrun before, I was running a simple troll named Hammer.

 

Our group was charging an area when we ran into a locked door. Our cyber-samurai guy was going to try to kick it down when my troll stepped in saying:

 

"Stop! Hammer time!" :D

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From a D20 Modern game I was a guest at last week (Reserve judgment. Sometimes you take what you can get. I just moved, and I haven’t assembled a HERO group yet.).

 

The premise is we’ve crash-landed on an island, where as we have had no contact with natives, there is sufficient evidence that there is a pack of some sort of were-creature on the island.

 

The groups Brick, Biscuit sits down to clean the wounds on his face recently made by a Giant Mutant Tube Worm.

 

Me: Dude, what if you’re a Were-Giant-Mutant-Tube-Worm?

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Ok, cross dimension Hero System game. The characters are currently in Australia like it was in the Road Warrior.

 

Characters in question are

Reneshat: Mage from a world that has magic instead of technology.

Al: Hologram, invisible to everyone but Reneshat.

 

Reneshat is driving a light truck (with his newly acquired transport familiarity) that has the roof chopped off. Al is riding shotgun (whenever he isn't teleporting into the enemy cars to see what is happening).

 

Reneshat sees a new development behind him.

 

"Al, take the wheel"

 

And Reneshat gets out of the drivers seat, runs and leaps out of the truck onto an enemy vehicle.

 

Leaving Al to drive the vehicle, except Al is a hologram (desolid) and cannot touch anything.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Yeah, they lost that truck.

 

After he said that Al, teleported out and did not come back until the battle was over. There was still a player and two enemies in the back of the truck when he did it too.

 

Apparently he did it because another characters follower (who had previously leaped onto an enemy vehicle) was now at zero body inside said vehicle.

 

All in all though the characters made it through, the decisive moment was when Reneshat used his explosion "hole in the middle" sight and hearing flash while gripping madly onto the hood of the car he leaped onto.

 

I had never actually expected the characters to try to board the enemy vehicles.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I had never actually expected the characters to try to board the enemy vehicles.

If I only had a quarter for everytime I heard a GM say that one to me. :)

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