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Darren Watts

Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

This happened just last night. The characters were standing in front of a news crew. One of the characters (Gladiator), who is male and wears just a leather bikini brief also has been discribned as having a near perfect physic.

 

The discussion some how wondered to the possibility of nude photos of Gladiator appearing on the internet at which pooint the player exclaimed:

 

"Can you please stop thinking about my character naked!"

 

More out of character than other quotes but it struck me as funny

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Here is one (of a few) from my L5R game we had today.

 

The night before, the two PCs entered a sake house where a big burly samurai male "offered" them to join him, then challenged them to a drinking contest. The PC accepted, and after several potent drinks, passed out. (The NPC challenged the female PC who then accepted and she barely won.) The owner of the establishment provided peasants to carry the intoxicated home. One PC had a special sword that wasn't allowed to be touched by anyone outside of his immediate family, so the sake house owner wrapped it up in cloth to protect it from shame.

 

The next morning the male PC wakes up a bit late, the female has already gone about some business, finds his equipment and goes to return the cloth (which has another clan's symbol on it). As he's about to walk into the sake house, the female PC spots him heading in.

 

She calls out to him: "Didn't you learn?"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From our Champions campaign:

 

"How to we know he's a British gentleman?"

"I have infared vision, I can tell."

 

"They were warning grenades."

 

From our GURPS/Steampunk campaign:

 

"Neither the Ape, nor Natasha has been having sex with the Cossack."

 

How to identify a vampire:

"Stake her in the heart, see if she dies."

 

"She has a license to kill."

"No, she has a learner's permit to kill."

 

"Possibly if we shrank the regiment down and put them in a diplomatic pouch."

"No, they'd never think of that."

 

"Somehow, this seems to violate some kind of code of honor."

 

"I don't think I want to think about Professor Pickens and Rhiannon

making a human being together."

 

"Rumor has it that Transylvania is full of foreigners."

 

"If we're shot down, they can look at our forged papers, see that we're

just tourists, and send an apology to the Prime Minister."

 

"You're in the village of {GM cannot pronounce name}."

"Ah, we're in The Village That Cannot Be Named."

 

"Yonda likes da castle of da vampiyah."

 

"If you start feeling an urge to drink blood, resist it."

 

"You're undressed down to your skin, but not any worse than than."

 

"Barney the Vampire -- he was large and purple and sang."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Tonight's D&D v3.5 game:

 

 

Dain the Rogue and Ruby the Fighter/Sorceress are standing shoulder to shoulder in a 10' wide corridor, facing a large-sized, Gray Render Zombie. Ruby had earlier removed her mithral chainmail shirt so she could cast spells without risking spell failure.

 

Dain: "Lady, I fear for your safety!"

 

Ruby: "No shit!"

 

 

Took us all awhile to recover from that... Ruby is not the type of PC to speak so, uhm, bluntly... but it was a tense moment. :D

 

Mags

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From my wife's D&D game tonight ...

 

We have discovered that someone ransacked the king's bedchambers and pretty well destroyed the place looking for something. Literally everything was broken, including the bed.

 

A little while later, we learn that the king's daughter is conspiring with some other folks to kill said king.

 

Player: "Wow ... they're planning regicide *and* patricide."

Me: "And look what they did to the bed. That's mattresscide!" (play on words: matricide)

 

At which point, the other players cast Dice Storm on me.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

My gaming group took a break from gaming for a couple of weeks, and instead took up a ParanoiaXP game. This conversation happened between our Indigo Level interviewer and the Loyalty Officer of the troubleshooting team.

 

"I regret, sir, that I feel that I have ultimately failed to live up to my duty as Loyalty Officer."

 

"And why is that, friend Citizen?"

 

"In my opinion I didn't find a sufficient number of disloyal people to kill."

 

I'm happy to report that we'll be returning to a Champions game next week.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From this week's 7th Sea game. My pirate captain was just saved by his Crescent Empire (read: Arabic) bodyguard.

 

Captain: I think I'll give you a raise. How much to I pay you?

Bodyguard: You don't pay me.

Captain: Excellent! I'll double your salary.

Bodyguard: (long pause) Captain, you do realize my people practically invented mathmatics?

 

:D

 

Bill.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

"I may have made a mistake."

Now, if I were you, I'd use this quote in my sig, adding the character's name with it, like this:

 

"I may have made a mistake."

-- [Character's name]'s last words.

 

But that's just me. I'd find that roflmao funny.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Well, I don't really know if our current Champions group has a quote, but the majority of us played "Legend of the Five Rings" together and these were some of the better ones. I apologize for it being a bit long... actually a lot long, and there are actually a lot more...

 

“Nobody slanders my yoriki. Only *I* get to do that.†(yoriki = underlings)

As the GM remarks, [the big, bad ugly oni] smells like wet, diseased, burned cat. (oni = demon)

“Void. It’s everywhere you want to be.â€

“No, oh no, no, no, no… don’t tell me I spent all of Winter Court learning Shadowlands Lore… from a god-damned akutenshi? AGGHHHH!†*staggers off to the bathroom, shuddering… then he returns, looks at GM, and shudders again before leaving again* *heard from down the hall* “AAGGGGHHH!!!â€

“If you’re in two pieces, you’re not really functional.â€

“I had an exquisitely crafted retort, full of subtlety and literary allusion, but you wouldn’t understand it, so I won’t say it.â€

“Yes, I AM a f***ing bastard. So?â€

“Help me Hida Banuken, you’re my only hope!â€

“I am a ronin... my word of honor means nothing to no one. But you may have it anyway.â€

(GM throws an Oni at the two Dragon and one of the Isawa shugenja... the name escapes me, but you hit it, it splits in two, you hit them, they split in two, and so forth. Took an hour of game time to kill the damn thing.)

“So what was that thing’s name?†“Oni no Whack-a-mole.†*group falls about laughing*

“That’s what Etiquette is for, which is short for, ‘I’m samurai, now get the hell out of my way.’â€

“You just killed two of our best leads.†“Ummmmm...â€

(What else would you expect from a guy nicknamed “Cartoon Man/Sound Effects Man?â€) *on taking damage in the middle of a battle* [in best Bugs Bunny voice]: “Ooohh, Agony... Aa--Go--Neeeee!!â€

“I fought the Maw and the Maw won!â€

“As long as I get to kill Lions, I don’t care where we go.â€

“These are not the Oni you’re looking for.â€

“Oni no Fandango! Look out! Raah!â€

“It’s Oni no Fear!â€

*singing* “It’s the many eyed, no horned, crawling purple people eater...â€

“You’ve never heard a garbage disposal scream before.â€

“Isawa Twin Powers, activate! Form of Fireball! Shape of Jade Strike!â€

*a la Yosemite Sam with the camel* “YAH, ONI, YAH!â€

“Hey, it’s Kuroshin’s Oni Obedience School!â€

 

Cheers,

Michelle

aka

Samuraiko

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Midnight' date=' one of the other heroes, was outside, saw this and said:[/quote']

 

"What the hell am I doing in YOUR game?"

 

*laugh*

 

Sorry, Midnight is also the name of MY Champions character. :D

 

Momentary digression into stupidity.

 

Michelle

aka

Samuraiko

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Yeah, they lost that truck.

 

After he said that Al, teleported out and did not come back until the battle was over. There was still a player and two enemies in the back of the truck when he did it too.

 

Apparently he did it because another characters follower (who had previously leaped onto an enemy vehicle) was now at zero body inside said vehicle.

 

All in all though the characters made it through, the decisive moment was when Reneshat used his explosion "hole in the middle" sight and hearing flash while gripping madly onto the hood of the car he leaped onto.

 

I had never actually expected the characters to try to board the enemy vehicles.

 

Wait wait ... you're the one with the pirate motif and you didn't expect people to be boarding the enemy???

 

what kind of pirate are you?!

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

This happened to the same group I inflicted "Wallace" on...

Slim, the elf street samurai is trying to finigle some information from a pair of Trolls who had maybe 1 point of intelligence between the two of them (sometimes stereotypes are FUN!)

Slim " so do you know the name of the guy who was in here last night"

 

Troll looks puzzled, confers with his brother, turn back to Slim and replies "Yes"

 

Slim "Can you tell me his name?"

 

 

Troll looks puzzled, confers with his brother, turn back to Slim and replies "No"

 

this goes for several minutes, with Slims frustration obviously mounting. Finally he bribes them with "Stuffers" (ie: Shadowrun junk food) to get the info he needs, but most of the fun was the GM watching the player trying to come up with the right questions to ask. Occasionally I enjoy being sadistic.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

And I'm suprised John T. didn't post this one, since he's the one who did this (I think)

 

Many moon ago, we were putting together Champions character for a new campaign, and the GM asked Jack, who was buiding a Brick with some Mentalist powers to describe the special effects for his characters powers. Jack replies with "By the Powers of my mind I can make myself incredably dense."

To which John follows up with "Duh." (the kind of noise a less than average intelligence person makes when their thinking REALLY HARD.)

We all fell out, and we never let Jack live it down.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

And one more...

 

We're playing Mechwarrior, standard gaming configuration, drinks and snacks intermixed with dice and character sheets. The GM is describing the battle we're about to plunge into, not a pretty one, we're outnumbered badly and stand a good chance of losing. The GM asks our leader for his plan, to which, the player, who has just knocked over his soda onto his character sheet , replies "I wet my Mech!" Is that what they call alternate realities paralleling each other? :P

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

"By the Powers of my mind I can make myself incredably dense."

 

Reminds me of an old Hawk and Dove, after they discovered new powers offworld, and they were just about to transform for the first time back on Earth ...

 

Hawk: "It still works! You can fly and I got dense!"

Dove: "I'm not touching that one."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Then there's one of the better ones from my 7th Sea campaign, involving Slim and John T...

 

The PCs are currently attending a masquerade party held by the Duke de Crieux. Unfortunately, as things happen, his daughter could pass for the identical twin of one of the PCs... and just to be cute, the PC and the daughter decide to wear identical costumes to play a joke on the other guests. Well, the daughter's lover arrives to whisk her away and save her from an arranged marriage, and nearly whisks away the wrong woman.

 

In trying to stop the would-be abductor, one of our other PCs (Gekko, I believe he goes as on here) pulls out a pistol and fires at the man, but misses and hits the nearby keg of rare Highland whiskey, spilling whiskey all over the ballroom floor.

 

Slim (the outraged Irishman who sees this) *shouting in dismay to the other PC with a thick Irish accent*: "You shot the keg? How could you?!"

 

He then throws his glass of fine Castillian (read: Spanish) wine to the floor in a gesture of disgust, to which John's Castillian wine afficiando cries out (in a thick Spanish accent): "You threw the wine! How could you?!"

 

We thought it was funny as hell, since it so summed up all three characters - Slim as a whiskey-loving Irishman, John as a wine-loving Castillian, and Gekko as his usual rotten shot.

 

Michelle

aka

Samuraiko

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

And since I'm surprised that neither RebeccaRed50, John T, nor Slim McCoy has posted this yet... this is the theme song of our 7th Sea Group, sung to the tune of "Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum." Sorry it's so long, but it's good.

 

RebeccaRed50 is “I’m your every fantasy, cash in advance only†Gabrielle, Slim is “I’m just like the Highwayman, only I’m cooler†Connor, John T is “My name is Don Inigo Montoya de Soldano del Castillo, Lord Drachenheim†Inigo, Gekko is “50 uses for Montaigne wine†Gustaphe, Amused is “No, no, no, SHE’S the courtesan, I’M the bodyguard†Vera, and yours truly is TaraLeila. We rock.

 

Eight PCs on a dead man’s chest, yo ho ho and a bottle of wine!

Beat Elaine’s Knights, we’re the best, yo ho ho and a bottle of wine!

Tempting promise, sexy guile, ever in Gabrielle’s smile,

Practically invented style!

Loves amour and loves to dance, she lives only for romance

But without cash, you’ve got no chance! Yo ho ho and a bottle of wine!

 

Eight PCs, the pirates’ bane, yo ho ho and a bottle of wine!

As we fly colours of Elaine, yo ho ho and a bottle of wine!

Once the Highwayman, you see, stealing kisses and money

Elaine’s men ended his highway spree

Now with Glamour in his soul, Sidhe mischief’s taking its toll

Connor seeks to make his heart whole, yo ho ho and a bottle of wine!

 

Eight PCs on the high seas, yo ho ho and a bottle of wine!

Dispatching pirates with casual ease, yo ho ho and a bottle of wine!

Diego’s left the family line, seeks his fortune ‘cross the brine

He lives for Castillian wine

With dark and dashing handsome looks, you’ll never find his nose in the books

He’s out defeating Montaigne crooks, yo ho ho and a bottle of wine!

 

Eight PCs ride ‘cross the land, yo ho ho and a bottle of wine!

Saved Montague from Matushka’s hand, yo ho ho and a bottle of wine!

Second fiddle Vera plays to her sister’s lusty ways

As long as some horny fool pays

So she watches Gabrielle’s back against a sneaky foe’s attack

Now is not the time to slack! Yo ho ho and a bottle of wine!

 

Eight PCs living like lords, yo ho ho and a bottle of wine!

Saved the O’Bannon from iron swords, yo ho ho and a bottle of wine!

Gustaphe Le Brun’s on the run, deserting simply isn’t done

Now he looks out for number one

With beer mugs he’s a deadly shot, with pistols, well, he’s not so hot

He gives the Knights all that he’s got, yo ho ho and a bottle of wine!

 

Eight PCs off to Montaigne, yo ho ho and a bottle of wine!

Montgomery Pearson’s quite a pain, yo ho ho and a bottle of wine!

A woman born of dark and light, her Clan destroyed in just one night

Has never known rapture’s delight

As TaraLeila now she’s known, Unseelie hunter of renown

All her life she’s been alone, yo ho ho and a bottle of wine!

 

Eight PCs ‘cross Théah ride, yo ho ho and a bottle of wine!

It’s simply not our style to hide, yo ho ho and a bottle of wine!

Vito’s usually in the dark, his knives, they rarely miss their mark

In fact this whole jaunt’s just a lark

Now this Vodacce had to flee Villanova’s death decree

For this, HIS death he’s sworn to see, Yo ho ho and a bottle of wine!

 

Eight PCs looking for trouble, yo ho ho and a bottle of wine!

We just give Vito cash to double, yo ho ho and a bottle of wine!

Inigo’s not known to laugh, he’s actually missing his other half

Loves to watch his cousin gaffe

Castillian wine’s his favorite thing, guitar he’ll play and songs he’ll sing

Then be El Vago for a fling! Yo ho ho and a bottle of wine!

 

Cheers,

Michelle

aka

Samuraiko

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

My vote for for this month's best quote from my campaign goes to my brother who was GM'ing this past Friday:

 

GM: Wendy, you are having your harp moved when suddenly, a lady wearing an opera outfit with cardboard wings steps out. "Give me your harp! I am searching for the perfect harp with which I shall take over the world!"

 

Me (thinking to self): Huh? Is this a lame villain or something?

 

GM: You may call me: Harp-ee!

 

(everyone burst out laughing)

 

As plain a pun as this may seem, no one saw it coming.

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"This is the signal!"

 

We have a plan: the team's resident "sneak" is going to break into the bad guy's lair, reconnoiter, and plant explosives. We're hiding outside, and when he's ready for us to come in and rescue the hostages, he's going to give us a signal.

 

Things go disasterously for him. He gets spotted by guards, so he rabbits (he's no good in a fight). Still waiting outside, we hear him screaming for help. I turn to one of the others and say, "Do you think that's the signal?"

 

"Nope, couldn't be. Victor's much too subtle for that to be the signal."

 

We kept him hanging on for about 10 minutes, until he finally started yelling, "This is the signal!!!"

 

:D

 

Bill.

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