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Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


Darren Watts

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

There were seven of us at Sunday's game. I wasn't allowed to play my normal character (something about a honeymoon...) so I had to play my only other character in the campaign world, a mute. I can only talk OOC.

 

(About Ninjas)

OOC: They're just little pesants form the mountains. You can kill them with impunity.

Ambrosia: I'd use explosives . . . impunity is a crappy weapon.

--

 

Shadowvyce (the ninja): How many points would it take . . .?

OOC: Oh, this'll be good. You can't do that on seven points.

--

 

Ambrosia: The ninja is making more noise than the sonics blaster!

--

 

Brian: So, do any of them still look dangerous?

GM: No, not at this point.

Brian: Eh. Then I'll just attack whoever's closest.

Shadowvyce: I'm closest to you!

--

 

Shadowvyce: He was quiet . . . -ish.

OOC: -ISH!? When you add "-ish" it's no longer quiet!

--

 

Shutterbug (to Shadowvyce): Wait a minute!

*Camera Clicking*

Shutterbug: I've always wanted a picture of "irony."

--

 

Shutterbug (to police): You've got guns, right?

GM (as police): Yeah!?

Shutterbug: Good, that's important!

--

 

Shadowvyce: Tell me you cleaned the hair trap?

Silent Vengance: *Smug Grin*

Ambrosia (OOC): That's beneath her.

MonkeyFist: She has people for that.

Ambrosia (pointing to Shadowvyce): You.

Shutterbug: I want a ninja janitor.

--

 

GM: Once you get underground you don't see any more homeless.

MonkeyFist: Woo-hoo! We solved the homeless problem!

Shutterbug: We won the war on Homelessness!

 

(that was the first clue things were very bad.)

 

The big fight was 7 on about 40. We cleaned house quite nicely. Took two hours. It was a really fun session.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Played a fantastic Pulp game on Saturday, using characters from Decoder Ring Theater's Red Panda Adventures. (Which you really should listen to, if you aren't already!)

 

Characters:

The Red Panda: Canada's greatest superhero, Shadow knockoff

The Flying Squirrel: his trusty Sidekick, sorta Batgirl-esque but with wings

Tom Tomorrow, Man Of The Future: Gadgeteer from the future

and Baboon McSmoothie, Man of a Thousand Faces: wisecracking shapeshifter.

 

 

McSmoothie has just arrived from his parallel universe to warn the Red Panda of a plot to kill him. (They've met before, and the Red Panda can't stand him.)

Red Panda: (through clenched teeth) "Nice to see you again, McSmoothie."

McSmoothie: "You can call me Baboon."

Red Panda: "Not with a straight face, I can't."*

 

McSmoothie warns us about an evil Nazi scientist named von Slick, who is basically a human oil slick. We start pressing him for details, which were sadly lacking on his character background sheet:

Red Panda: "In our dimension, oil slicks aren't generally considered much of a threat. What exactly can this von Slick do?"

McSmoothie: "Well, he can move about." (looks at GM; GM nods) "And take human form..." (GM shakes his head) "...is something he can't do. But he can form appendages?" (GM nods) "Yes, appendages. And..."

Etc, etc.

 

Tom Tomorrow manages to cobble together an EMP generator using 1930s technology, but is having trouble finding fuel:

Tom: "What about the Birthday cake? Does it have enough energy?"

 

Later, he tries to explain his invention to the rest of us 1930s barbarians:

Tom: "It works on the principle of... It works."

 

Tom Tomorrow and McSmoothie have to infiltrate a physics convention.

Tom: "I didn't specialize in historical clothing. How do scientists of this period dress?"

Red Panda: "Badly." [rimshot]

 

Tom meets an absent-minded physicist with disheveled hair:

Physicist: "My name is Albert Einstein. And you are?"

Tom: (realizing he forgot to think of an alias) "I am...Tomas...Manana." :ugly:

 

The Red Panda and the Flying Squirrel are about to ambush some suspected bad guys. The Squirrel is all ready to punch first and ask questions later:

Red Panda: "We should probably find out who they are before we start hitting them."

Flying Squirrel: (disappointed) "Yes, Boss."

 

The GM is rolling all his dice out in the open, and his dice are unbelievably hot:

OOC: "If you were using a screen I'd call you a cheating bastard!"

 

Context can't help this one:

OOC: "Nobody puts Einstein in the corner!"

 

And the absolute best quote of the day. McSmoothie has been seducing some young lady, but has to pull himself away to help the rest of us fight ninjas:

McSmoothie: "I'll be right back, luv. You go ahead and get started without me, and I'll be right there."

Player's Wife: (OOC) "Welcome to my world." :straight::whistle:

 

 

* Yes, we stole this one verbatim from the show. Still funny tho.

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Guest Major Tom

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Krull the Orc: "Hot Food Place here?"

Doniir, the Monk: "You barbarians become pampered quickly when taken out of the wild, don't you?"

 

I can just see the following happening:

 

 

"Welcome to Troll-In-The-Box. May I take your order, please?"

 

 

Major Tom :D

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The players are covert operatives for the government...

 

GM: There are some men in suits and sunglasses in a sedan sitting across the street. They appear to be watching you.

 

Player 1: Are these the same guys we lost earlier?

 

GM: It loo-

 

Player 2: I fire a tear gas grenade into the passenger window.

 

Group: You what?!

 

GM: Wellllll, alighty then...

 

Player 1: Holy crap.

 

Player 2: I roll a 4...

 

GM: The window shatters and the car fills with tear-gas. The doors fly open and the two men inside come stumbling out. One falls on the grass vomiting. The other is coughing and covering his mouth with a handkerchief. People nearby are pointing and freaking out. Someone yells: call the police!

 

Player 2: I get out with my shotgun. Its loaded with rubber shells.

 

Group: Dude, no!

 

Player 1: Didn't their car have exempt plates?

 

Player 3: I thought they came back as registered to DOD.

 

GM: Yes. You're both right.

 

Group: S---! THEY'RE FEDS!... DUDE STOP!!!

 

GM: So, what do you do?

 

Player 2: Click-clack, dude. I'm tired of these guys dogging our ass. I pump and plug the dude.

 

Player 1: My dex is higher. I taser him before he shoots the fed.

 

Yes, I love my players. I really do. No, actually, I love that player. Most of them are extremely grounded and tuned in. They have the whole super-fed thing down. Its like a super-powered version of CSI, Law&Order, and James Bond all rolled into one. They are the captains competence. On the other hand, he utters phrases like "I blast the reactor." It keeps things interesting. Click-clack, dude.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Quotes from this week's Wardens' Chronicles session...

 

Delta-Vee talking to Prime about personal responsibility...

Delta-Vee - "Prime can you name five things you do that you ever worry about."

Prime - "I take into account all of the consequences of all the things I do."

 

 

During a discussion on dimensions...

Prime - "Do you know for sure that apples aren't carnivorous in all dimensions?"

 

 

Delta-Vee chiding Prime after a lab accident...

Delta-Vee - "I figured with his super-evolved intellect that the lab explosion was what he planned."

 

 

After Prime had teleported the whole team to another dimension...

Lazarus - "Successful example of teleporting, good power there Prime"

 

The Knight - "Just take us home"

Amethyst - "Yeah, you got us here"

Delta-Vee - "Just do what you did in reverse... cancel that nevermind, don’t do anything."

 

Delta-Vee - "Now much experience do you have with dimensional navigation"

Prime - "I've never done it before."

Review the possibilities and problems that would be inherent in randomly hopping from dimension to dimension.

Lazarus - "I would say that he was successful in navigating dimensions"

Delta-Vee - "Except he wasn’t trying to navigate to another dimension."

 

 

Once the Knight realizes where they are he tells the team how they got back home on the previous trip... the team agreees that they do not want Prime to try "teleporting" them again...

Prime - "Lets try and find that machine to get us back, I wouldn’t want to abandon you. I've grown quite fond of some of you."

 

 

The Knight - "You turned a perfectly good wooden practice sword into stone, why?"

Prime - "Because he asked?"

 

 

Prime - "Clearly the best option is to go to the robot, take it apart and see how it works."

 

 

Amethyst - "Send me back the way you got us here..."

Prime perks up.

Amethyst - "Nah, just kidding."

 

 

Delta-Vee - "Prime that didn’t look like a ball of energy."

Prime - "No it didn’t"

Delta-Vee - "Didn’t you use to, when you wanted to destroy something, shoot it with balls of energy?"

Prime - "I cant do that anymore."

Delta-Vee - "What happened to your balls of energy"

Lazarus - "Isn't that a personal question?"

 

 

Prime - "I can try to teleport again"

Chorus of "No"

Prime - "I think I know what I did wrong"

 

 

Prime - "Can anyone see in the dark?"

No one answers.

Delta-Vee - "And your glowing balls of energy are also gone" looks at Lazarus "Don’t go there."

Prime to Delta-Vee - "Wait a minute you glow now, problem solved."

Delta-Vee succeeds in boosting his glow to a level where it can be used as a weak source of light in the dark building.

Delta-Vee - "Does anyone have a radiation counter?"

Prime - "Why yes I do... little over background."

Delta-Vee - "Now that is what you call consideration for others."

 

 

Prime after the team has returned to their home dimension...

Prime - "I have learned a valuable lesson."

Delta-Vee - "I have a suggestion"

Prime - "No, No, I am sure I have learned the proper lesson."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Technaught (describing the bar in his pad): I have a Tony Stark bar.

Richter (OOC): What, empty?

 

Hammer of Vengeance has just built Flash Defense goggles and wants to test them. He runs out into the lounge.

Hammer: Quick! Someone flash me!

Eris: (rolls eyes) Fine... (pulls down her top for a second, then goes back to playing pinball)

Hammer, who has had a sheltered life, just looks baffled.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From last night's Star Wars game, I have been having a significant run of critical hits which has been having me say in EVERY SESSION, "I'm not this good!". Another character is a former Padawan who "washed out", mainly because there wasn't a Master to take him on as an apprentince.

 

Me (OCC): "Show us how it's done, oh Jedi Master."

Fireleaper (OCC): "I'm not a Jedi!"

Me (OCC): "I'm not that good!" chorused with the other players and GM "He's not that good!"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Steel Thunder charges the Monster Maker, knocking her back but not stunning her, and knocking her away from Khymeric's girlfriend, who she is threatening to mutate into a colossal monster. "We outsmarted you! Surprised?"

 

Monster Maker breakfalls up, and moves over to the injector conveniently located on his girlfriend's butt, and turns the timer on it to zero. "We'll see who's outsmarted whom, HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

 

As the wicked poison does it's work, Dr. Element grabs the box off her butt and flees to his secret dimension base with it.

 

Red Baroness: Quick! You have to suck it out!

 

Khymeric, desperate to save his girlfriend, shapechanges into a leechlike, winged reptile humanoid and SUCKS the mutagen out of his girlfriend's behind.

 

GM (Me): Never underestimate the power of sucking ass to save lives.

 

At the end of the combat phase, Dr. Element returns from his secret dimensional base, and sees the leechlike thing sucking on her behind, flapping away.

 

Dr. Element: AAAAAAAAAIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (Screams in horror.)

 

Girlfriend (Seeing Dr Element, who dresses like a creepy version of Ming the Merciless): AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

THEN she notices what's sucking on her butt, because she's hanging upside down from the ceiling....

 

AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

Then Khymeric's girlfriend fainted.

 

Red Baroness (OOC): You know, I think I might faint too if I saw that.

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Guest Major Tom

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Just two observations to make here:

 

1.) Not only does the above story give a new slant to the phrase "butt-ugly",

it also

2.) Sounds like the punch line of a superhero joke.

 

 

Major Tom :D

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

More fun quotes from our Ancient Greek Heroes campaign:

 

 

Player, glancing at the 9d6 damage roll the GM just made (OOC): "I don't see anything lower than a 4!"

 

GM: "There's a 3!"

 

(Final outcome: 11 body, 41 stun, 7" kb)

----------------------

 

Villain: "You, Lydos, shoot me again!"

 

(The evil man has electrical absorption and Lydos throws lightning bolts.)

----------------------

 

Hector is strapped to a table and has leeches up and down his arms (bad guys wanted to steel Herculadae blood). He has just commanded one of the nearby cultist/agents to release him.

 

Hector (OOC): "Did he release me?"

GM: "No."

Hector (OOC): "I blast him."

Player 1 (OOC): "He hasn't had a chance to go!"

Hector (OOC): "Then the next guy will jump to it."

-----------------------

 

Lydos talks to his student, who has just been released from being captured & tortured for information by the Okia.

 

Lydos: "And what did you learn from them?"

Student (NPC): "Talk sooner?"

-----------------------

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From last night's Heracles' Children session

 

Three of the six Heraclidae in Thebes had been captured by Ochis (A secret society bent on world domination). The remaining three were approaching the storehouse where they believed them held. Realizing that they were being watched fro the rooftops, Lydos suggests just collapsing the buildings. When it was pointed out that doing so might injure or kill their captured companions

 

Lydos: I certainly wouldn't want to hurt them unintentionally.

Lydos (OOC): Wow, that sounded a lot more villianous than I intended!

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

We had the last session of Daybreak Rising last night (it was number 13). The GM has spoken of a second campaign (Daybreak Rising II), but that will be some time later.

 

Shan-Yu: "It's obvious it's not [Zafira] doing the mind controlling as [Zafira] can't get anyone to do [her] bidding in the first place."

 

Shan-Yu (OOC): "How many inches of staggering does Ragnar have?"

GM: "1d6+1."

 

Zafira: "You knew this and didn't tell anyone?"

Ragnar: "No one asked."

 

Shan-Yu: "It was a bad idea."

Ragnar: "Having Zafira talk to anyone is usually a bad idea."

 

Martin (OOC): "Is Zafira like Wikipedia? If Zafy says it, it must be true?"

 

Ragnar: "Y'know... this is why I drink."

 

Veskar: "I'm an assassin, not a barber."

 

Shan-Yu (OOC): "I love it when a plan comes together... and some day it will!"

 

GM: "High ground... deep end... it's only a matter of which end is up."

 

GM: "He plays with his crossbow again."

Martin (OOC): "He's going to go blind doing that."

 

GM: "What's your DCV?"

Shan-Yu: "Right now?"

Martin: "Yeah, right now Captain Kirk!"

 

Martin (OOC): That's a 4d6 RKA AP can of hairspray and a lighter?"

 

The Viking bard inspires the party with song as they face an army of undead in the Undercity, to the tune of "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park":

 

Our hearts filled with joy,

As we search and destroy,

And go bashing some skellys in the dark.

 

In the tunnels beneath,

We come armed to the teeth,

‘Cause we’re bashing those skellys in the dark.

 

When they see us coming the monsters all wince in pain,

‘Cause they know that soon we’ll be dancing on their remains.

 

We know they won’t be slighting

Our prowess in fighting.

We unleash the smiting,

‘Cause it’s just so exciting

To go bashing on skellys in the dark. (La La!)

 

I'm not even going to try adding the "Swedish Kombat" bit. It cannot be described, only experienced. :-)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

With last night's game I ran, We had an attack on a conference that was in support of superhuman rights. This was an important game though I threw in some funny stuff.

 

First there were bombs set up all over the subway system. As two of the heroes were freezing them, our leader noticed that there were radio waves coming out of them until they were turned off.

 

Iron Phoenix: "Sho'Kef, Vladmir! Don't dismantle the last bomb! I've seen this in MGS2! If you deactivate them they will set off the big one"

 

Sho'kef: "Alright got the last one!"

 

Iron Phoenix: "..."

 

Next came the conference, which had some musical guests. One of which...:

 

Mayor: Ok everyone, now we have special musical guest. Say hello to... Rick Asthley!!

 

Party Members: "... we just got rick rolled..."

 

Then came the newest supporter of the National Association for Super Powered Advancement...

 

Zahara (leader of NASPA): We have a special supporter today. i would like to introduce to you... Tom Cruise!"

 

*applaudes*

 

Tom Cruise: "I love you supers. LOVE you guys! I know some of you can fly? Well... I CAN FLY TOO!!"

 

Of course when a civillian is falling it turns out that yes Tom Cruise CAN fly.

 

Finally came the quote of the week from our tank

 

Me: "The helicopter fires a missile at you"

Iron Phoenix: "I fly towards it to punch it"

Me: "... what the!"

 

BOOM

 

didnt exactly work...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Hudson City has been disneyfied only darkly by the Shadow Queen. Mole and Ember, an magically cursed Witchcraft, and Bravo's Rope end up on the lamb inside the castle. The Shadow Queen is likely to attack them in a moment with hordes of Gargoyles, and maybe even come herself. The SQ seems to find Mole handsome, but when mole mentions possibly trying to trick the Queen by pretending to be interested back, Ember nixes it.

Mole's thought bubble?

 

.oO(This is the problem with your girlfriend as team leader, she gets to pull rank)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From our Pulps Champions game...dubbed The Chronicles of the Agency:

 

Patriot (OOC): I'll have you know that I only heal fast on American soil so don't kill me, okay? Or at least get me to the nearest embassey.

 

(To the GM after taking two painful shots from German gunfire...)

Rocket Ranger (OOC): You know, if you didn't like my character, you could have just said so.

 

NPC Prisoner: Who are you?

Havoc: You're better not knowing. Don't worry - I'm friendly.

NPC Prisoner: How do we know?

Havoc: I'm speaking English without a German accent.

 

(Still bleeding badly...)

Rocket Ranger: We've gotta bug out soon so I can find a hospital to collapse in.

 

(Looking for something to throw...)

Clubber: The best thing to hit a German with is...another German.

 

(Having just discovered Wiltrude, the beautiful daughter of a Nazi archaeologist, Rocket Ranger decides to fly away with her...)

Rocket Ranger: Sorry, ma'am. We need information and you look a lot more interesting to read than a book.

 

NPC Scientist: The Germans were looking for the Tablet of Destiny.

Tom Jefferson (Patriot's mild-mannered secret ID): We've heard that word before.

Rocket Ranger: That's three words, yank.

 

(Our party is interrupted in our purchasing of supplies by Nazi forcing closing in...)

Rocket Ranger: Forget the receipts, Tom. We gotta go now!

Tom Jefferson: But, my financial tracking...

Rocket Ranger: You can explain it to the American budget board or the German army...your choice.

Tom Jefferson: Okay, let's go.

 

(The heroes don't have a high opinion of Patriot's comparatively weak unpowered alter ego. Before prepping an ambush, we leave our two "civilians" under cover...)

Rocket Ranger: Tom, you stay in the car and protect Wiltrude.

Rocket Ranger: On second thought, Wiltrude, why don't you protect Tom.

Tom Jefferson: Hey, I went through Basic.

Havoc: Basic what?

 

GM: Do you have a plan?

Patriot (OOC): We have some schemes...

Rocket Ranger (OOC): Mine's more of a whim...

 

Rocket Ranger: I'll just fly over the lake.

GM: You're rocket pack fails to work.

Rocket Ranger: Didn't we gas this thing up at the last village?

Patriot: Yes, I think we used regular.

Rocket Ranger: What?! This baby runs on premium only!

 

(As Wiltrude tends to the wounds of our party...)

Rocket Ranger: She has hands like warm milk.

Clubber: So? I've got abs like the grille of a Studebaker.

 

Rocket Ranger: What's the most dangerous thing ya'll can think of?

Patriot: You with a fuel leak.

 

Clubber (OOC - regarding Rocket Ranger): He's like Foghorn Leghorn with an afterburner.

 

Patriot (referring to his fists): I call this one 'Stars' and this one 'Stripes'

 

Lonewalker

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Our Vian heroes capture a spy out in the woods. He's wearing armor that's dulled and black, to make him harder to spot at night. Daris reworks it so it'll fit Flora and presents it to her. Rastal remarks, OOC, "It's emo armor!"

 

As the party discusses future plans, they decide killing a minion of Aciarren's is definitely on the menu.

Daris: "Which minion?"

Flora: "Who cares? They're all bad."

 

The spy is shape-shifted to look like Flora, so that his motivation for alerting his fellow spies as to their location is taken away. Of course, he finds his new body fascinating. As he's exploring, Flora snaps, "Stop that!" Later, she amends it to, "Do whatever you like; I just don't want to see it."

 

The party finally learns the name of their captured spy: Benedick.

Daris (OOC): "So he's a dick."

GM: "No, Benedick."

Daris (OOC): "Oh, so he's not one anymore."

 

Flora (OOC): "We kills wimmenz."

Daris (OOC): "Sometimes we turn men into women so we can kill them."

Flora (OOC): "Via: We have gender issues."

 

Rastal, OOC, poking fun at the only 'gift' Flora has ever gotten from her sort-of-husband: "Nothing says 'love' like a dead plant."

 

Flora, in reference to Rastal, OOC: "He's our Jayne."

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Guest Major Tom

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Korbin: We have to go, they're going to do something terrible to Roxy.

(several pc's actually break off from the main fight to help)

Roxy's player: I'm surprised the response to that wasn't "I'll bring the popcorn!"

 

 

Things like that, generally speaking, only tend to happen to people whose

names are either

 

1.) Pee-Wee, or

2.) Tommy Turner.

 

 

Major Tom :sneaky:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Korbin: We have to go, they're going to do something terrible to Roxy.

(several pc's actually break off from the main fight to help)

Roxy's player: I'm surprised the response to that wasn't "I'll bring the popcorn!"

 

Something similar happened in my FH game this weekend. The heroes were fighting a cross between a cockatrice and a wyvern (which was alternately called the cockavern or the wyvertrice). It slammed into the party's bard and knocked her unconscious.

 

Finn: Chrissie's down! Get her under cover, fast! :angst:

Illy: Form up around her! Healer! :coach:

Kaira: I'm on it!

Leth: Kill that mutant motherf***ing wyvertrice, NOW! :mad:

Illy (OOC): You know, if any other member of the party was hurt, the reaction would be a lot different.

Finn (OOC): True. "Finn is down! Eh... he's a big guy, he can take care of himself."

Illy (OOC): "Illy is down! Yeah, whatever."

Finn (OOC): "Castilla is down! But, she probably deserved it."

 

:rofl:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Illy (OOC): You know, if any other member of the party was hurt, the reaction would be a lot different.

Finn (OOC): True. "Finn is down! Eh... he's a big guy, he can take care of himself."

Illy (OOC): "Illy is down! Yeah, whatever."

Finn (OOC): "Castilla is down! But, she probably deserved it."

 

Yeah, we gotta work on the whole party unity thing with that group. Like a dysfunctional soap opera family, they are. :)

 

Lonewalker

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From the last game session I attended, before the GM made a couple of incredibly stupid RL choices that resulted in my leaving the group. :mad:

 

Anyway

 

Ron, the GM, is notorious for his mispronunciations. It's a Buffy/Angel supernatural game.

 

Lenny: (playing a cleric-druid type character) I'm going to create an area of Holy Ground to protect us from the vamps.

 

Ron: Right, so what are you guys doing while Grale is consummating the ground?

 

Me: Pointing and laughing.

 

Hilarity ensues as Ron failed to recognize his mispronunciation and then denies having ever said it.

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