Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[Guest Major Tom]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

And in issue #102 of Skeleton Crew

The Spectre

: "Pass me my folder?

*passes stack*

The Spectre

: "Just the folder, I don't need 3"

3

: "Rejected already!"

3

: "Finally a master with balls!"

Me

: "Speaking of the Spectre's balls, when are we working out Vitus's new spell Detonate Scrotum?"

Vitus has been obsessing a bit ever since he dumped 3. Not only have his expletives become increasingly biological, nor just his tendency to react as if any mention of 'short rods' or the like refers to him, but he's developed an original spell he'll be using with great enthusiasm ( whenever the rest of the team can't stop him, anyway )

Detonate Scrotum

: Major Transform, Affects Limited Group, Limited Range, Gestures & Incantations, Delayed Effect, Reparable With Magic or Advanced Medical Techniques

 

Linked to RKA 1d6, +3 stun modifier, NND, does body

When asked, why, for the love of god, why???

Vitus

: "If

I

don't get to breed, I don't see why anyone else should."

 

A letter from Vitus to a supervillian -

"Dear Doctor Lin Wu,

 

How are you? I hope I'm not distracting you from your efforts to become unchallenged magical overlord of the Middle Kingdom ( If there was ever a world in dire need of some thaumocracy, this is it ).

 

I'm sure you recall the little matter of Cthulhu, and I'ld welcome your advice on further developments. Do you know any ways to stop the dreams of an Outer God hitting an artificial ley-line feedback loop and gnawing an unstoppable hole in all reality?

 

Please respond at your convenience."

 

 

Wife passes me half a gummy snake

Felicity OOC

: "Oh, look, another small pink limp thing for Vitus"

3

: "And he can take it all!"

Vitus

:

 

On 3's Tanashim multimammate anatomy

The Spectre

: "I've seen the melons, the apples, and the raisins."

3

: "You missed the cherry"

 

Problem of the Week...

GM - General Eiling

: We feel you've been cruelly treated by the great state of Nevada"

Vitus OOC

: "Nevada?"

GM - General Eiling

: "Nebraska!"

Void OOC

: "Them too! But we don't talk about it"

Vitus OOC

: "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas"

 

GM - General Eiling

: "Our great nation has a problem"

E Magister

: "One moment - I'm going to move over here with

3

so all the people who actually ARE of this country are in one place"

The Spectre

: "Eh? Where's Vitus?"

E Magister

: "Who cares?"

Vitus

: "I'm right here! Am I suddenly a sorceror now, and spontaneously learnt Invisibility?"

Felicity

: Finally, Vitus does something useful.

Vitus

:

 

 

The Gunney

: They're murderous xenophobes over there.

Vitus

: That's good - I murder xenophobes. Remind me what Diplomatic Incident means again?

GM - General Eiling

: In this case,

any

interaction with the Iranian authorities or civilians

Vitus

: Godsdamnit, why don't I get to have any

fun

holidays?

 

 

E Magister

: "You're sending an actual demon into Iran?"

GM - General Eiling

: "I don't have a problem with your religion"

 

 

Vitus

: "With the right combination of Void's abilities and my magics, we can circumnavigate the globe in 20 minutes. In a

zeppelin

."

 

 

Sundog GM

: "I'm picturing a giant wooden box in the sky over Iran. Stamped with 'Do Not Observe'"

 

 

Void OOC

: "E Magister has taken the form of a 12-sided dice - he's a dodecademon"

 

 

You know...it's posts like this that make me think that, compared to Vitus, a

dog with a serious case of fleas is getting off light.

 

 

Major Tom

[Drhoz]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

You know...it's posts like this that make me think that, compared to Vitus, a

dog with a serious case of fleas is getting off light.

 

 

Major Tom

 

Oh yes indeedy. Admittedly, the team has plenty of reasons to be annoyed with Vitus, but I'm not sure that excuses comments like "Oh, will you look at the knob on that staff. No, the other end."

[Legatus]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

GM: The gate opens and out comes the biggest Crocodile you have ever seen.

Durr (OOC): I thought the one that we fought in the river, that left me with one BODY was the biggest one I had ever seen.

GM (OOC): It was. This one is even bigger and this time you don't have your Elephant gun.

 

That's a classic!

[Weldun]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Oh yes indeedy. Admittedly' date=' the team has plenty of reasons to be annoyed with Vitus, but I'm not sure that excuses comments like "Oh, will you look at the knob on that staff. No, the other end."[/quote']Now be fair. You said that one.

[Drhoz]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Now be fair. You said that one.

 

well, you can't deny it's the kind of thing the rest of the party would say

[Rapier]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I'm a little behind. Building the new computer has been interesting and fun. A little different than last time, with all the new tech and stuff, but interesting. Anyhoooo,

 

******

 

JJ: HEY! They're sucking out my KungFu-Blackness!

[Darren Watts]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Pheemy (on an illustrated Bible from 1953): I'm not sure I'm comfortable with a blond Jesus.

 

Jason: Hey, Jesus wasn't even Jewish until the '70s.

 

Rod: Yeah, him and Sammy Davis Jr.

 

dw

[Egyptoid]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I'm DMing an espionage game;

the pc party is on a car chase.

they fail the chase roll,

and villains zoom out of sight for a minute,

 

then the pc's fail their navigate roll,

and I start describing scenery.

driving by a seven-eleven...

driving by a abandoned lot...

driving by the farmhouse....

driving by another farmhouse, with a big flag flying from the porch....

 

Finally it dawns on the party leader how lost they are,

and he pipes up with "At least it was an American flag ?!?"

[bubba smith]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I'm DMing an espionage game;

the pc party is on a car chase.

they fail the chase roll,

and villains zoom out of sight for a minute,

 

then the pc's fail their navigate roll,

and I start describing scenery.

driving by a seven-eleven...

driving by a abandoned lot...

driving by the farmhouse....

driving by another farmhouse, with a big flag flying from the porch....

 

Finally it dawns on the party leader how lost they are,

and he pipes up with "At least it was an American flag ?!?"

lets hope so

[aarontring]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

OK, I read 42 pages before I couldn't resist anymore, and I apologize for how long this'll be. I'll do my best to be concise, but I have to set up what kind of people we, as a group, were.

 

The actual event in question isn't Champions, happened before I joined the group (only JUST before), and is more a situation than a quote. This is the kind of group, particularly while playing Champions, who would be trying to sneak into an enemy lair and break out into a fire-fight amongst each other in an argument gotten out of hand, usually over something stupid.

 

The incident in question centered around one of the less-respected of the group's members coming up with an epic, multi-session AD&D campaign that launched from a wayside inn. Nothing at all cliche, right? I think his mistake was, during the (literally) months he spent working on it, he couldn't stop building it up to the rest of the guys, how awesome it was gonna be! (This was the '80s, after all.)

 

When he finally got his chance to run it, the tavern/inn scenes went off without a hitch. What he had failed to notice was that, without any prior planning, the entire group had made evil characters of one flavor or another. During the night, while everyone else slept, ostensibly resting up for the next days' adventure, the thief and the ranger snuck through the entire inn and slaughtered every NPC in their sleep, butchered them, and put them in the pantry. The next morning, the party set themselves up in the inn and waited for the next caravan.

 

The DM, not sure how things were going to proceed, gave them the benefit of the doubt and went along with it, sending them a caravan. The party welcomed them with open arms, ran the inn as though nothing were amiss, and the bard in the group even entertained the guests, culminating in a "special song written just for the evening," which detailed the party's "adventures," how they'd "retired" to service other adventures, and finally a verse about the visitors, which ended with "And then we killed them!" This was the signal for the entire party to massacre the caravan, who was then added to the pantry.

 

This was allowed to continue for a few caravans before the DM stopped playing along, but everyone had fun completely derailing his game. For 20 years, the bard player has been trying to find that song, because he actually wrote it down. No luck, so far.

 

They also wondered why I never wanted to run a game...

[Captain Obvious]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

OK, I read 42 pages before I couldn't resist anymore, and I apologize for how long this'll be. I'll do my best to be concise, but I have to set up what kind of people we, as a group, were.

 

The actual event in question isn't Champions, happened before I joined the group (only JUST before), and is more a situation than a quote. This is the kind of group, particularly while playing Champions, who would be trying to sneak into an enemy lair and break out into a fire-fight amongst each other in an argument gotten out of hand, usually over something stupid.

 

The incident in question centered around one of the less-respected of the group's members coming up with an epic, multi-session AD&D campaign that launched from a wayside inn. Nothing at all cliche, right? I think his mistake was, during the (literally) months he spent working on it, he couldn't stop building it up to the rest of the guys, how awesome it was gonna be! (This was the '80s, after all.)

 

When he finally got his chance to run it, the tavern/inn scenes went off without a hitch. What he had failed to notice was that, without any prior planning, the entire group had made evil characters of one flavor or another. During the night, while everyone else slept, ostensibly resting up for the next days' adventure, the thief and the ranger snuck through the entire inn and slaughtered every NPC in their sleep, butchered them, and put them in the pantry. The next morning, the party set themselves up in the inn and waited for the next caravan.

 

The DM, not sure how things were going to proceed, gave them the benefit of the doubt and went along with it, sending them a caravan. The party welcomed them with open arms, ran the inn as though nothing were amiss, and the bard in the group even entertained the guests, culminating in a "special song written just for the evening," which detailed the party's "adventures," how they'd "retired" to service other adventures, and finally a verse about the visitors, which ended with "And then we killed them!" This was the signal for the entire party to massacre the caravan, who was then added to the pantry.

 

This was allowed to continue for a few caravans before the DM stopped playing along, but everyone had fun completely derailing his game. For 20 years, the bard player has been trying to find that song, because he actually wrote it down. No luck, so far.

 

They also wondered why I never wanted to run a game...

 

That's sick. Incidentally, some of the guys I played with back then were twisted enough to do that, but not clever enough to think of it in the first place.

[input.jack]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

That's sick. Incidentally' date=' some of the guys I played with back then were twisted enough to do that, but not clever enough to think of it in the first place.[/quote']

 

I had a friend who disliked how original D&D only gave you experience for killing things. So she set up a character who would do things like block off the doors to the villiage temple, then burn it down with everyone inside while they were at worship services. Then demand to know how many XPs she got for it. (The schoolhouse in the neighboring town went up in flames next...)

[Captain Obvious]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I had a friend who disliked how original D&D only gave you experience for killing things. So she set up a character who would do things like block off the doors to the villiage temple' date=' then burn it down with everyone inside while they were at worship services. Then demand to know how many XPs she got for it. (The schoolhouse in the neighboring town went up in flames next...)[/quote']

 

Ah yes...many memories of somebody in the party knifing kobold babies in the Caves of Chaos...

[Tom]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Mole may go prematurely gray -- or I may run out of ideas eventually...

 

.oO(She's THE ONE... wow. I need to ask her to marry me...but not yet. We're too young. Aren't we ? Wait, if we marry too young, does that change the future? Do I need to become a success first before I propose, or does being a husband or father help lead to my becoming a better guy and a success... can we help Jimmy somehow before he's even born so that Fuzon bastard has less effect than we saw? Kid deserves not to be so scared of himself. Or will that cause some sort of apolyptic future where Kodiak wears a beard... AGAIN.)

.oO(Okay. I am getting wound WAY too tight about what will be might be could be and what I will might could should do about it.)

[aarontring]

Ooc

 

I feel I have to redeem myself, but all of my quotes are 15 to 20 years old, so they're slow in coming. First the setup:

 

We would do the majority of our gaming in my friend Terry's bedroom (the "bard" was his character) because he conveniently had an Olympic-sized, regulation ping pong table in it. Oddly, we never asked... Regardless, he had, where most kids our age would have model cars, a model skull, complete with cardboard stand and, of all things, a fez. Since the fez had AMU embroidered on it, we called the skull The Great AMU. It was something of an oracle/charm.

 

That is, until one fateful game night. We were about to engage a vastly superior force (again, probably not HERO system, but we were well "past" AD&D by this point), when Dan decides to announce that he will consult with The Great AMU, sort of our code for not having a clue what to do.

 

 

Terry rather sheepishly says, "Oh, his name is Yorick, now."

 

We all look around the table, except for Ryan, who throws his hands up in disgust.

 

"Just once I'd like to see someone take a Shakespeare class and not name their skull 'Yorick!'"

 

Wasn't funny at the time, but the rest of us got it, later.

[Guest Celt]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From our current Torg game, where in our characters are part of an operatin comparable to Stargate Command.... We've just fought off invaders from Aysle who teleported into Cheyenne Mountain.

 

One of the players, an Aylish pirate, says we should burn the bodies of the dead.

 

"Are they going to get up and walk?"

 

"Not as often as you'd think, more often than you'd like."

 

We had a nice pyre in the parking lot.

[Ian Mackinder]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Detonate Scrotum

: Major Transform, Affects Limited Group, Limited Range, Gestures & Incantations, Delayed Effect, Reparable With Magic or Advanced Medical Techniques

 

Linked to RKA 1d6, +3 stun modifier, NND, does body

 

Ohhhkay. This may not be the most sicko ( / twisted / depraved / yucky / etc.) thing to happen in any RPG that I ever heard of, but it is probably in the Top 20.

 

Hmmm. Now THAT would be an interesting topic.

[AnotherSkip]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Street level campaign wherein I (the Gm) try to run supers and the rest play Shadowrun. Seems to be working

 

Echo is an ugly borg, Caliph has Gravity Control, Lily is an alien shapeshifter, ohers will be detailed as they appear.

 

Caliph-“Why would I buy invisibility to tactile senses?”

Echo-“So when I fondle them they can’t tell?”

 

Echo or Caliph IIRC “hunting children, turkey sized dinos & old folks!”

Lilly-“My, aren’t we the heroes?”

 

Echo: "I'm not taking off my Sunglasses, it isn't a Scott Summers thing, i'm just really ugly." (note this is from a character with 8 Com in a game wherein the players have 8-12 Com)

[Drhoz]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Ah yes...many memories of somebody in the party knifing kobold babies in the Caves of Chaos...

 

what? That's against Gygax's advice! You're supposed to raise them in your faith, THEN kill them in case they turn evil at puberty.

 

( Luckily, for some reason, the whole 'some races are inherently evil' thing usually ignored over here in Australia. Yes, we still raid the local orcs in order to steal their furniture, but we don't pretend it's because the orcs are evil. We do it because we're thieving bastards, coming from a long line of thieving bastards )

[aarontring]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

OK, this is VERY loosely relevant, and I swear I'll stop for the week.

 

Watching a thing on PBS about the S.S. United States, I was getting all carried up in the moving-ness that the directors had intended, but there was this little voice that piped up in the back of my head that said, "Didn't I throw that at Mechanon, once?" I think it was actually a military vessel, but still, the inappropriateness...

 

The clincher that made me decide to post was that both the CEO of Norwegian Cruise Lines, who incidentally has purchased the ship, and the maritime engineer supervising her assessment for refit were Scots. Let the Star Trek jokes fly!

[jtelson]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Ah yes...many memories of somebody in the party knifing kobold babies in the Caves of Chaos...

 

...because they're not worth any experience points alive.

[AnotherSkip]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Ah yes...many memories of somebody in the party knifing kobold babies in the Caves of Chaos...

 

Dude, you need to drop them 10' or more, knifing them can dull your blade and who needs to spend time sharpening knives in a D&D campaign?

[Kirby]

Back to the actual topic of this thread

 

It's not much, but at least it's relevant.

 

Teen Champions:

 

My PC has just met a new neighborhood girl who looks good in jeans. He goes to tell his older sister (who's also his guardian).

 

Sister: "I'm glad you two hit it off. Sounds like a nice girl." .oO(Have I given little bro 'the talk' yet? Oh boy, that'll be weird.)

[Lucius]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

what? That's against Gygax's advice! You're supposed to raise them in your faith, THEN kill them in case they turn evil at puberty.

 

Not that I doubt it's possible, but did Gygax actually say that?

 

For that matter, was "some humanoid races are inherently evil" ever "canon" in D&D?

 

Lucius Alexander

 

The palindromedary is still miffed that someone wrote it up as "Chaotic Evil."

[Bloodstone]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Not that I doubt it's possible, but did Gygax actually say that?

 

For that matter, was "some humanoid races are inherently evil" ever "canon" in D&D?

 

Lucius Alexander

 

The palindromedary is still miffed that someone wrote it up as "Chaotic Evil."

 

Not sure about the first question, but the yes to the second.

 

In fact, in 3E, they made it very clear by making alignment notations such as "always", "usually" and "often". Demons and Red Dragons, for example, are "always Chaotic Evil", while Orcs are merely "often Chaotic Evil".

 

It's really just a Nature vs Nurture issue. Redd Dragons are inherently evil and will always turn out evil without some form of divine or magical intervention. Orcs are just a product of their environment and the choices they make.