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Darren Watts

Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

This came up as part of a discussion on how utterly awesome HELLSING manga volume 4 was:

 

"More crazy Nazi vampires need to go into battle singing."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

My wife is playing a hottie mossad agent. She's in Paris investigating what she believes is an arms sale by members of the Union Corse. The principle suspect is a four hundred pound gourmand who has a habit of ordering meals big enough for an army for himself. And he's not a pleasant man to watch when he eats. She's trying to discreetly get information from him. He starts hitting on her and groping at her and being generally gross as he tries to kiss her while chewing on his food, etc. She decides its too much, disengages from him, stands up, brings her silenced handgun to bear and says: "You have no idea how unattractive you are, do you?"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From my Urban Arcana game, while the PCs are picking weapons off the bodies of two fallen Drow hitmen (who lasted less than 1 round).

 

PC (to the tune of 'We're in the money'): "We're lootin' bodies! We're lootin' bodies!" He stops, and then I pick it up.

Me: "We're taking weapons that to us do not belong!"

 

Towards the end of the game, I say a statement on just how obscene the party medic's Treat Injury still is.

"You just performed outpatient surgery on a man who was MAULED BY A DRAGON."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The group I'm with will be doing a "Star Wars" game soon. We spent last Sunday getting the jist of our character concepts. In my case, I'm a pirate operating out of Hutt space...well, would-be pirate. I'll be working on it.

 

In any case, this conversation happened between an Imperial captain, and my character...

 

Imperial Captain (IC): So, your papers say you operate out of Hutt space, I see.

 

Me: Yeah, that's right.

 

IC: So, that would make you a smuggler.

 

Me: Well no...but you're really close. Really close! Try again.

 

IC: You come from Hutt space...

 

Me: Yes...

 

IC: So...that would make you a smuggler.

 

Me::growing annoyed:: No...though my profession is kinda related. Try again...

 

IC: You come from Hutt space...

 

Me::knowing where this is going:: Yes...yet again...

 

IC: So...that would make you a smuggler.

 

Me::finally losing patience:: OH FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD! I'M NOT A SMUGGLER! I'M A SPACE PIRATE! P-I-R-A-T-E!!! I RAPE! I LOOT! I PILLAGE! GEEZ! HOW IS IT THAT YOU GOT TO BE A CAPTAIN IN THE IMPERIAL NAVY BY BEING SO DENSE!?

 

IC::lightbulb FINALLY goes on:: You're a pirate.

 

Me: YES!!!

 

IC: And you freely admit to being a pirate in Imperial space. You're obviously not a very bright pirate.

 

Me: Actually, you were supposed to conclude what I really was some time ago. Y'see, by this time, my friends with the repeating blasters have you and your goon squad more than covered--

 

::friend demonstrates by writing on ground w/ blaster::

 

Me: And they were getting rather impatient waiting for you to do the impossible and put two and two together, and now that you have, I gladly accept your surrender and your donation of your ship to the rebel cause.

 

I think I should've added that I'd let him go back to his people, since having him still active in the Imperial military would probably be the best thing he could do for our side :doi:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

If the GM didn't give you extra XP for the perfect Jack Sparrow moment, you should kick him in the shin. :)

 

The group I'm with will be doing a "Star Wars" game soon. We spent last Sunday getting the jist of our character concepts. In my case, I'm a pirate operating out of Hutt space...well, would-be pirate. I'll be working on it.

 

In any case, this conversation happened between an Imperial captain, and my character...

 

Imperial Captain (IC): So, your papers say you operate out of Hutt space, I see.

 

Me: Yeah, that's right.

 

IC: So, that would make you a smuggler.

 

Me: Well no...but you're really close. Really close! Try again.

 

IC: You come from Hutt space...

 

Me: Yes...

 

IC: So...that would make you a smuggler.

 

Me::growing annoyed:: No...though my profession is kinda related. Try again...

 

IC: You come from Hutt space...

 

Me::knowing where this is going:: Yes...yet again...

 

IC: So...that would make you a smuggler.

 

Me::finally losing patience:: OH FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD! I'M NOT A SMUGGLER! I'M A SPACE PIRATE! P-I-R-A-T-E!!! I RAPE! I LOOT! I PILLAGE! GEEZ! HOW IS IT THAT YOU GOT TO BE A CAPTAIN IN THE IMPERIAL NAVY BY BEING SO DENSE!?

 

IC::lightbulb FINALLY goes on:: You're a pirate.

 

Me: YES!!!

 

IC: And you freely admit to being a pirate in Imperial space. You're obviously not a very bright pirate.

 

Me: Actually, you were supposed to conclude what I really was some time ago. Y'see, by this time, my friends with the repeating blasters have you and your goon squad more than covered--

 

::friend demonstrates by writing on ground w/ blaster::

 

Me: And they were getting rather impatient waiting for you to do the impossible and put two and two together, and now that you have, I gladly accept your surrender and your donation of your ship to the rebel cause.

 

I think I should've added that I'd let him go back to his people, since having him still active in the Imperial military would probably be the best thing he could do for our side :doi:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The Monster Campaign. The hobgoblin mage has two major spells; Fireball, which gets used the most often, prompting the mantra, "Save for Half!" (The gaming reference to making a saving throw to only take half damage), and he's been using polymorph to turn foes into random and weird things. He's made grown men into female kobolds, and on this particular occasion, we run across a female sorceress.

 

player: "I'll change her into... a Pony!"

me: "Save for half! Maybe she'll turn into a centaur."

 

Okay, it was geeky and a gaming joke, but I thought it was funny. Too bad everyone else was talking over it and the moment was lost.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Hypnotoad be afraid, In the frist gulf war a pilot came back from a mission and informed his leader that weather did not allow him to bomb any of his target so he attacked the AA gun site on the coast.

 

leader: the one with the bad gunner that shoots at nothing.

pilot: yes

leader: do not do that, in vietnam we learn that if you killed the bad ones, a good one could replace him. do not do that.

luckly the gunner survived, and was left alone for the rest of the War.

 

true

 

Lord Ghee

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

And this one was about me.

 

 

I was talking to the gamemaster and in the back of the room I over heard.

 

Gilos: One thing about Lord Ghee he always has a plan, most of the time we do not understand them and half seem cazy, but I learn to trust him since his plans almost always work.

 

:doi:

 

Lord Ghee

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Okay, as you've requested, I'm very afraid. :fear:

 

Hypnotoad be afraid, In the frist gulf war a pilot came back from a mission and informed his leader that weather did not allow him to bomb any of his target so he attacked the AA gun site on the coast.

 

leader: the one with the bad gunner that shoots at nothing.

pilot: yes

leader: do not do that, in vietnam we learn that if you killed the bad ones, a good one could replace him. do not do that.

luckly the gunner survived, and was left alone for the rest of the War.

 

true

 

Lord Ghee

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Hypnotoad be afraid, In the frist gulf war a pilot came back from a mission and informed his leader that weather did not allow him to bomb any of his target so he attacked the AA gun site on the coast.

 

leader: the one with the bad gunner that shoots at nothing.

pilot: yes

leader: do not do that, in vietnam we learn that if you killed the bad ones, a good one could replace him. do not do that.

luckly the gunner survived, and was left alone for the rest of the War.

 

true

 

Lord Ghee

I've heard this one before. He was nicknamed "The Red Rope Ranger"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Okay, we had a big fight in our Fantasy Hero-esque game in space. Lots of skeletons, a big swordfight...and one of the characters (the ogre) was changed into a shadow demon. Of course, none of us fighting the skeletons knew this at the time--we were on the first floor, and he was on the second floor

 

At the end of it all, the ogre was an ogre again, but he was outside and unconscious and hurting (the circumstances regarding his change back to normal was...painful). We were able to get a healing potion down his massive throat, and he began to regale us with his tale of woe...

 

"I...I was a demon."

 

"Oh...well...I'm not one to discriminate based on your lifestyle choice."

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Guest WhammeWhamme

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

"Let's try the door that _won't_ eat our souls first!"

 

(it was actually a gate to the Shadow Plane, but it looked bad...)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

A character breaks cover to deliver a soliloquy to a group of foreign superheroes that they've inadvertantly been attacked by.

 

Me (the DM): All three of them turn towards you. Just as Dragon-ciel's hands begin to glow, you realize that you just said that to a group of people who don't speak your language.

 

 

Another game, this one low fantasy. A character is searching for a buried treasure, and the directions lead him into an inlet surrounded by a rocky shore.

 

"I examine the rocks."

 

"Roll Concealment."

 

"Made it by 3."

 

"The rocks are rough, mostly greyish-colored, fairly hard, and heavy. There's a lot of thom. Some of them are as big as you, others are just pebbles."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

One of my personal favorites from our "Five Rings" game, which just goes to show how much of a bastard John T (hubby mine) can be as a GM...

 

The GM (John) and I are in a separate room discussing what is happening inside my character’s head during a hideous dream sequence while the rest of the gaming group is munching on pizza in the next room.

 

GM: “He holds out one hand to you, and darkness swirls around it. A pointed spike of pure shadow leaps from his hand and shoots straight at you, too fast for you to dodge. You don’t know what this is, but you know that this can’t be good.â€

 

*the GM then gets up to leave the room*

 

Michelle: “Hey, wait a minute, what the hell kind of message is that? What happens next?â€

 

GM: “Well, you won’t know that ‘til your character wakes up.â€

 

Michelle: “I thought you said I can’t wake up until the rest of the party figures out how to heal me!â€

 

GM: “You’re right, you can’t.â€

 

Michelle: “So what happens now?â€

 

GM: “I’m going to get some pizza.â€

 

John thought it was an outright riot...

 

Michelle

aka

Samuraiko

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

It's a well known fact in our 3.5 game that my fighter is at his finest when he's at 1 hp.

when I went down fighting a dragon my cleric kept pumping minor healings into me to get me to 1pt.

 

Once there, I stand up and scream: "Eat Hot Death Lizard!" Two Crits on my attacks.

Dragon now on death's door.

 

Party cheers.

 

Dragon kills me.

ahhh the defiance against tradition.

 

DM: "Apparently the dragon's a relative, Magnyr."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Recently, I've had the pleasure of actually getting to be a player in a Champions game, so I've gotten to pay a bit more attention to the dialogue going on during the sessions. Last session, we're trying to sneak into this warehouse where One villain is selling this evil mystical book to another villain group. Just as we're about to move in, a third villain, a powerful Liche busts in to get the book for himself. What followed was a mass melee with some of us heroes and the agents from one of the villain groups battling the Liche, and the rest of my team going after the book. The quote in question came up when a bunch of the agents (who were soldier types) moved into position to attack the Liche. One of the players (my brother, actually) quips,

 

"Okay guys, Attack Pattern: Don't get your souls sucked out!"

 

On the Liche's next phase, he drifts into the middle of the agents, and promptly kills them all with a soul-sucking spell. They then rise up as zombies and move to attack us heroes.

 

Well, I gues that's one Attack Patten that needs to go back to the drawing board. :D

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The Champions have just prevented the massacre of a group of refugees at the hands of soliders, only to discover (with the help of telepathy) that the innocent and guilty are not so easy to distinguish in this war-torn region. Aresenal, Nebula and Champion Girl ponder a proper course of action, struggling to deal with the moral ambiguities. Blink Dog (Psych Lim: Ammoral (Common, Total)) finds himself getting frustrated by all of his teammates handwringing.

 

Blink Dog: "Hey, I have an idea, why don't we just leave, and let these assholes go back to killing each other?"

 

...long pause as the other three Champions stop and stare at Blink Dog...

 

Nebula: "And now we know why Blink Dog isn't the team leader."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

This little goodie is from the Monday Champions game I play in. We had just kept both Viper and Demon from stealing the same object of desire from a recent museum exhibit (they fought each other as well as us--really decent of them to do that!).

 

Anyways, we're a brand new team, and there was no real chain of command yet. So after this mission, serious discussion was set down. The choice seemed to be between three of us--Firebrand (our resident energy projector), Snap Dragon (our martial artist), and Jade (my character and another martial artist).

 

Jade was chosen as leader (much to her surprise), as for the second in command...

 

Jade: "I'd like to suggest that you take the position, Firebrand."

 

Firebrand: "But I think that Snap Dragon would make a good choice, why not her?"

 

Snap Dragon: "I'm sixteen."

 

Firebrand: "Right. I'll meet with you tomorrow morning for orientation and planning, captain."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

After an aborted attempt to penetrate the heart of the mysterious black cloud of flies menacing the small African nation of Kinyasa, the Champions brainstorm, trying to think of a way to disrupt it, distract it, or otherwise it prevent it from consuming the small city of Koba.

 

Blink Dog: "We could kill a bunch of cows and drop them in it's path, maybe it would attack them instead."

 

Aresenal: "It's a force of evil Blink, not a force of stupid."

 

---

 

An Out of Game quote as well:

 

Sharron (Champion Girl) discussing Nick's character (Blink Dog): "You know, your character is kind of an asshole."

 

Ken (GM & Nick's housemate): "It's not just his character."

 

Eric (Aresenal): "Boom tish!"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

"We expect the evil. We don't expect the balloon."

 

 

The following was in an L5R game. A PC was standing watch while another was searching for a hidden scroll in a shugenja's room. The PC searching the room heard the approaching shugenja and said he was hiding under the bed. The PC standing watch heard her coming and stepped in the room. Not seeing her companion, she said she was hiding under the bed. Then came the quote:

 

"I hope they sleep on beds and not mats."

 

We laughed for a bit with the image of two "noble" samurai hiding under a sleeping mat. (Maybe you had to be there.)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

This has to be one of John's (and mine) all-time favorites.

 

In our L5R game, a plague has struck Phoenix lands (I think the scenario is Midnight's Blood or somesuch), and off go the PCs to fix things. We get there, we find the villain responsible, who is hanging out in the deepest room of the darkest basement, etc. etc. etc. He is hanging in mid-air, a sickly green light swirling around him as the lifeforces of countless Phoenix are flowing into him due to the plague.

 

Being the good PCs we are, we're not gonna let THIS go on, so we attack. And cut the guy down in two rounds flat. Go us.

 

Then this ensues...

 

GM: “As you drive your wakizashi into his body, you hear a thin, wailing scream, a loud ‘crack!’ as he’s sucked back to Jigoku, and a final, brilliant green flash before the light dies.â€

Ujiro: “Don’t worry, I’ll just cast Amaterasu’s Bl... Oh, crap, never mind...†*as Bill realizes it’s now too dark to read the scroll*

(wakizashi = short sword)

(Jigoku = the afterlife)

(Amaterasu’s Blessing = a spell invoking the power of the sun goddess to fill an area with daylight)

 

The whole group degenerated into hysterical laughter. Bill later mastered the spell with the experience he got from that scenario so he would no longer need the scroll.

 

Cheers,

Michelle

aka

Samuraiko

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