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Darren Watts

Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

D&D game, opened up with the wedding of the sister of one of our PCs. The reception was organized by two NPCs described as "clerics of the god of parties", and the DM is going through the list of what's going on, "jugglers, dancers, swordswallowers ..."

 

"Oh, Cirque de Soleil came for the wedding."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Our superhero group is flying across central Missouri, trying to locate the hidden base of the magical/technological villain who has kidnapped the hostages...

 

We see a low stone wall, covering a circle about two kilometers in radius. There are incredibly complex mystic runes on the wall.

 

Kendrick (the mage) blows his Analyze Magic rol1.

 

"Wow. It's incredibly complex... brilliant really. I can't quite make it out... seems to be some sort of..."

 

The plane flys over the wall. Instantly, the countryside is replaced by an ultra-modern base. Troops are everywhere. Scout cars and APCs are warming up. Mecha are beginning to turn towards us.

 

"...concealment spell. Oh."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Okay, from Sunday's Star Wars game.

 

Our intrepid little group has just snuck into a small Imperial Garrison, intent on diverting power for our nefarious little purposes (we're rebel scum, after all).

 

Anyways, the main soldier in our group happens to be a Zeltran hottie ( :rolleyes: ) named Lisa, with...huge tracts of land. When we get into the power core, we find it's occupied by a freckle-faced rookie tech and a nervous protocol droid. He gives up rather quickly...

 

Tech: "Believe me, miss. I'd never cause trouble for anyone with guns as big as yours.

 

Lisa (misinterpreting): "That's sweet. Why thank you..."

 

Naturally, the rest of us sort of groaned.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Dr. Silverback didn't show up to accept his award during a ceremony where he was to be the guest of honor. Afterward, our heroes, Tiger-Eye and Shard of UNIT 1, went to the Cambridge Biotechnologies building to check up on him.

 

Nighthawk had gotten there before us and lay wounded in the trashed offices of Dr. Silverback. Tiger-Eye pulled him out of the burning room, while Shard put out the fires... all this just as Defender and Saphire arrived.

 

Tiger-Eye, crouched next to Nighthawk: "Who did this?"

 

Barely conscious Nighthawk: "It... was Holocaust! He.. he took Dr. Silverback!"

 

Looking up at Saphire and Defender, Tiger-Eye asked: "Why would Holocaust want Dr. Silverback?"

 

Saphire: "He's a world-renowned geneticist!"

 

Tiger-Eye: "Well, where's his security guards?"

 

Defender: "How much security does a 500 lb. gorilla need?"

 

 

:D:D:D:rofl:

 

 

Mags

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Dr. Silverback didn't show up to accept his award during a ceremony where he was to be the guest of honor. Afterward, our heroes, Tiger-Eye and Shard of UNIT 1, went to the Cambridge Biotechnologies building to check up on him.

 

Nighthawk had gotten there before us and lay wounded in the trashed offices of Dr. Silverback. Tiger-Eye pulled him out of the burning room, while Shard put out the fires... all this just as Defender and Saphire arrived.

 

Tiger-Eye, crouched next to Nighthawk: "Who did this?"

 

Barely conscious Nighthawk: "It... was Holocaust! He.. he took Dr. Silverback!"

 

Looking up at Saphire and Defender, Tiger-Eye asked: "Why would Holocaust want Dr. Silverback?"

 

Saphire: "He's a world-renowned geneticist!"

 

Tiger-Eye: "Well, where's his security guards?"

 

Defender: "How much security does a 500 lb. gorilla need?"

 

 

:D:D:D:rofl:

 

 

Mags

 

Now THAT is a damned good question!!! LOL

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The Greek informed me, pre-game that her character had discovered "porn" and so I should announce something about spyware on the computer. The Greek, if you aren't aware had been sleeping since the Trojan war.

 

Me: "And finally, it was recently discovered that the base computer had 19 spyware applications running and over 1000 cookies. They were all porn related."

 

Voltage: "It wasn't me!"

 

MJ: "What? I would think we had the top of the line spyware program on our computer."

 

Me: "You do, however, in all instances, these were the ones that were not in the program's definitions."

 

MJ: "I'll update the program and get them all removed. The last thing we need is a Trojan on our computer ruining the entire system."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The Greek informed me, pre-game that her character had discovered "porn" and so I should announce something about spyware on the computer. The Greek, if you aren't aware had been sleeping since the Trojan war.

 

Me: "And finally, it was recently discovered that the base computer had 19 spyware applications running and over 1000 cookies. They were all porn related."

 

Pshaw... amateur. At the hospital where I work now, I do spyware searches on different systems from time to time. My record is 1,500 applications on a single system (via Ad Aware) and something like 5,100+ applications and related files via Spy Sweeper.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The Greek informed me, pre-game that her character had discovered "porn" and so I should announce something about spyware on the computer. The Greek, if you aren't aware had been sleeping since the Trojan war.

 

MJ: "I'll update the program and get them all removed. The last thing we need is a Trojan on our computer ruining the entire system."

 

We have a new winner of the "Don't make me hurt you." award.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Me: "And finally, it was recently discovered that the base computer had 19 spyware applications running and over 1000 cookies. They were all porn related."

 

...

 

MJ: "I'll update the program and get them all removed. The last thing we need is a Trojan on our computer ruining the entire system."

I'm surprised no one asked what kind of porn sites. Then you as GM could state "I don't know, it's all Greek to me!" :D

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

This one came up during socialization during a game. My wife and I had driven to see my parents for Thanksgiving. It grew dark around 5:30 because it turned out we were heading (literally) towards a tornado. When talking to my parents later during a game, I was mentioning how eerie it was because of the lack of street lights (the country) and that no starts were seen because of a pitch black sky.

 

My mom (age 62): "Well, you came at the dark time of day."

 

My wife: "That would be nighttime."

 

Okay, it was a Yahtzee game instead of a RPG, but still, it qualifies. :D

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

This didn't happen in one of my games, but I heard about it from one of the participants in the exchange.

 

 

The group is trying to come up with a plan to deal with a problem.

 

Player #1: I have a plan. Here's what we should do.

 

Player #1 lays out his idea and Player #2 keeps shooting it down. Eventually, the two start talking at their end of the table, leaving the rest of the party to do other things in the meantime. Then the group suddenly hears...

 

Player #2: I have a plan. Here's what we should do.

 

Player #2 then lays out the exact same plan that Player #1 had.

 

Player #1 wanted to kill him at that point. :D

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Possibly offensive, apologies beforehand...

 

 

In a high powered fantasy game, we had "one of those players". Playing a mage of a shape-changing race, he constantly did things in secret so the party wouldn't find out what race and alignment he was. To boot he had terrible dice luck, constantly fumbling attacks and spells at key moments.

 

During an adventure on another plane where 'time stood still', this mage gave himself a small wound to try to deduce the time flow differential since he had an abnormal healing rate. He did not explain the reasons to us in character, saying merely "I prick my finger".

 

Upon our return to our home plane, he collapsed from blood loss. Thereafter "I prick my finger" became the way to say you thought a plan or action was...ill-considered.

 

Years go by real time and game time, with the poor mage getting told "I prick my finger" by everyone constantly. Finally he retaliates...or so he thinks.

 

Other Player : (announces plan)

Sneaky Mage: "I prick my finger"

Other Player (without missing a beat): "You roll a 1, and finger your prick."

 

You can imagine the laughter. There was more than one spit-take.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Two very old ones"

 

One from Champs, the Emerald Archer and his Honourable disadvantage vs. Ratman:

 

RM: "Tell you what - you don't use your bow, and I won't use my tail"

 

EA: "OK" Drops bow

 

Two phases later, Ratman slashes EA with his tail.

 

EA "Hey! You said you wouldn't use your tail!"

 

RM: "I'm the bad guy. We get to lie."

 

One from D&D. The group has found five evenly spaced indentations on the wall. Unknown to them, they are intended to arm or disarm pit traps elsewhere. There is a crown with five solid marble-soze spheres used for this purpose, but they haven't found it.

 

The warrior priest suggests shoving her fingers into the indentations. The remaining players think that's a bad idea.

 

WP: "Wait, I can cast Find Traps. Cast - is it a trap?".

 

DM: "No, you don't sense a trap."

 

WP: "I shove my fingers in the indentations."

 

DM: "There is a hideous crunch and the WP shrieks in agony."

 

[Her fingertips are crushed by the loicking mechanism.]

 

DM: [quoting from spell description; my quote will be off a bit] "A trap is a device which was created with the intention of inflicting harm."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

"... your specific game may not have had a frustrated new player, but commonly that is the result..."

 

Yes, of course, but as you pointed out, it is OT. This thread is about great lines, not analyzing interaction.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From this weekend's 7th Sea game:

 

Gustaphe, our Montaigne pistoleer, on how to deal with a Vodacce who's tried to kill an NPC: "I say we just poison him, and make it look like it was suicide."

Inigo the Castillian swordsman #1: "Gustaphe, you shouldn't suggest that Gabrielle (our Vodacce courtesan who dabbles in the art of poisoning) act in so crass and callous a fashion."

Diego the Castillian swordsman #2: "Yeah, since all we have to do is just force the Vodacce to drink some Montaigne wine."

 

Jim (Gustaphe's player) was ready to start throwing stuff at John (Inigo) and Jeff (Diego) while the rest of us burst out laughing.

 

Michelle

aka

Samuraiko

 

Visit my thread...

http://www.herogames.com/forums/showthread.php?p=526248#post526248

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Yes' date=' and we never have threads derailed, or branch off. :winkgrin:[/quote']

 

Oh, never! We are above that sort of things you know.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From last night's Champions Game:

 

Bolt (Speedster): "I'll Grab her (opposing super), bring her back, and we'll have a hostage!"

 

Stormbringer (Storm-clone): "We're the good guys, we don't take hostages. Get her, and I'll blast her!"

 

:nonp::D

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Re: Picking on Newbies

 

Off topic to the thread' date=' but maybe the new player would have a better time, and be up to speed faster, if someone actually helped them, instead of yelling at them and abusing them for making errors. I like to get an experienced player to "buddy" the new player for a few sessions (freeing the GM from this task).[/quote']

 

Actually, that bit Rebar posted was not only a misquote, it wasn't even the GM saying those things, and it wasn't a "loud irritated booming voice."

 

As the GM of that particular game, I have to say, "T'weren't me." It was Rebar, and the newbie was Mrs. Rebar. I was about to answer her a simple, straight reply, when he piped up with the smart remarks, then laughed.

 

I think my actual quote was "Uh..."

 

This is not to say I'm not a bastard sometimes; I've had my moments. Most of the time I try to be extra nice.

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Re: Picking on Newbies

 

As the GM of that particular game, I have to say, "T'weren't me." It was Rebar, and the newbie was Mrs. Rebar. I was about to answer her a simple, straight reply, when he piped up with the smart remarks, then laughed.

 

Well, IMO, that is a crappy way to treat a spouse, let alone any other player.

 

Mags

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Not strictly a quote, but the write up from zornwil's game amused me. Disclaimer: I run Suzanne, also known as Spectrum.

 

Suzanne also takes time to use her legal skills and work with some of the disturbed folk, assuring waivers are signed and no charges are pressed. T-shirts are made saying "I got slightly injured and signed a waiver and all I got was this lousy t-shirt," a trademark of the Justice Squad.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

What do you get when a module starts off with the horrible beginning of, "You get a fax, and all it says is 'The Man in Black'"? Our quote of the week.

 

"Johnny Cash and the mole people are working together. We'll get them if it's the last thing we do."

 

Oh yeah, and the rest of the session was just about that good.

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