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Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


Darren Watts

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Given how horrible Foxbat is at planning' date=' it'd probably turn out that his phone chat service payed the caller $3 a minute...[/quote']

 

No, no, he's not that bad.

 

...it just relays through a Malaysian phone service that charge $4.50 a minute...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Been a while, there's a backlog of quotes in my gaming notepad, some without names of who said 'em.

 

The Defenders Champions Game:

GM: I didn't realize I'd done that on purpose.

 

Inertia (?): To the people fleeing I go boogety.

 

someone: No, I believe that 3 is pronounced WOOHOO

 

Inertia and Enimga in Secret IDs going to get an errant teenager (their teammate) who has run away to live in a hotel. Her new friend has threatened to call the front desk.

Intertia (in secret ID): Yes, I live in fear of the front desk.

 

Dreamweaver has lost her powers (precog) and laments that they're useless. Intertia thinks back to the recent fight with Dr. D and what should could do with precognition. Intertia was hit hard, buried 3-4 Hexes into a mountain and knocked out cold by Dr. D. Mostly because she opted not to Dodge that Phase.

 

Inertia: No, I'd have dodged.

 

The Sunday Cyberpunk/Horror Game:

 

J: I heard if I help this Nigerian guy I get these pills.

B: . . . That I can use to pay my mortgage?

 

G: My character's next duplicate is going to be named Vlad Uberstomp!

someone: That's it, you're off the team.

 

Back to the Defenders:

 

Promethean: I'm going to make my non-stealth stealth roll to get back into the closet.

 

Built To Last and an NPC geek out.

GM: And you guys talk techno babble. The GM is not going to talk techno babble.

Built To Last: But I put so many points into it.

 

Built To Last: The wicked are far from resuce... uh.... give me two minutes.

 

Inertia: She's really cool. I'm going to be sad when she gets kidnapped. . . Or when she turns out to be the supervillain.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Our team mentalist has just checked out some odd behavior in our sparring partners and have discovered that they're actually villains in disguise intent on killing us.

 

Me: Sadly, I don't know what she knows, so it's still with the kid gloves. I'll fire off my stun wave again.

Player 2 - What, did you take "PsychLim:Cannot conflate OOC with IC knowledge"? Did you at least get points for that?

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Me: "That's right, she's making a rock garden. Fortunately, they're not very hard to grow."

Jeff: "Yeah, but when they die, it's REALLY embarrassing."

 

Oh God, that reminds me of an old SF RPG I played in, where one of the characters was a silicon-based organism with intelligence the equivalent of 5 in Hero.

 

One of the stories told about him:

 

"He walked into a rock garden and thought it was a cocktail party."

 

"Yeah, but he had to leave 'cause the conversation was over his head."

 

:D

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

This weeks game session, 4th edition DnD.

 

GM: You've heard a plethora of rumors about these mountains.

Ciaphas: What's a plethora?:confused:

Torm: Mountain goblins. Tougher than standard goblins, but usually not really evil.:straight:

Aurther: Not good, though, very xenophobic.:winkgrin:

Ciaphas: Thanks.:doi:

GM::eg:

Party::jawdrop:

 

Later...

GM: You are confronted by a group of what look like Goblins, but with rock grey skin.

Torm: Does anyone speak Plethora?

Ciaphas: I speak Goblin, would that work?

Aurther: Worth a try, it's a dialect.

Ciaphas: I ask who they are and what they want.

GM: "We are the Plethora..."

Party: :rofl:

 

Later still...

Jarl: How was I to know that fireball spells would set dry grass on fire?

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Guest Major Tom

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Something tells me that Jarl skipped a certain class in Adventurer's School --

the one where the teacher covered the math lesson that goes "Fire + Dry

Grass = Creatures Large And Small Running Insanely For Their Lives".

 

 

 

Major Tom :D

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From tonights Cyberpunk Horror Trans-Dimensional Apocalypse game...

 

Tweezer (OOC): There's nothing weirder than a Jamaican who wants to live in an anime.

 

Tweezer: Yeah, they're going to have to come up with a name for removing lightbulbs.

Sergei: Really?!

Tweezer: No.

 

Sergei: Metrosexual does not mean gay.

Aran: Yeah, it's the new word for people who want to have sex with buildings.

 

Sergei: Want to come?

Tweezer: No, with your liquor cabinet I'm great.

Sergei: No. Come with us.

 

Aran (To Tracy): Don't distract yourself by thinking.

(this is an actual danger)

 

Sergei (about Tracy): Holy Crap! You're Tank Girl!

(in a panicked tone of voice no less)

 

Tweezer: Who smuggles drugs INTO the Bahamas?!

 

Tracy is left to plan the distraction to throw the bad guys off the groups trail.

Tracy: OK, expenses were 7.95$ for two boxes of Oreo Cookies, one chocolate covered and one double stuffed. I put those in the fancy box with a note "your favorite cookies, love mom." Next is 25$ to mail the box from the Bahamas to a P.O. Box in New Hampshire, I put the fancy box in a normal package box. Then 100$ to get the package to the air strip via Fast Courier. Last, was 6,000$ to smuggle the box into the Bahamas in the first place. The pilot's name is Carl, he leaves in four hours. Slow enough for them to discover our flight out, fast enough that they can't stop it.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Some quotes from our P4ND0R4 campaign - a Pulps/Champions game run by QuerySphinx.

 

Characters include:

 

Trenton Williams - an archeologist (in the Indiana Jones tradition) with theories about Atlantis.

Samuel Sterling - an ex-Army rifleman turned ex-Foreign Legionnaire turned mercenary.

Henry Octenshin - professional student specializing in biochemistry and animal science...also a student of Monkey kung-fu.

Davis Wilmott - wealthy spymaster working for the American government.

 

---

 

After packing three pistols and a tomahawk before a meeting...

Sterling: What? I'm leaving my rifle.

GM: He's loaded for scientist.

 

The slightly eccentric Doctor Polk offers the PCs more information about the strange Zeta Radiation...

Williams: We'd like to know more.

Sterling: Heck, we'll even subscribe to your newsletter.

Williams: That's Crazy-@$$-Mad-Scientist Weekly, right?

 

More of Doctor Polk's explanations...

Dr. Polk (NPC): The energy passes through most matter, but some matter is too dense to pass through.

Williams: Like what?

Wilmott: Politicians.

 

After a request to hurry while Dr. Polk assembles a primitive reactor...

Wilmott: Just as soon as we finish this game of radioactive Jenga.

 

Williams lets slip a bit of privileged information...

Dr. Polk (NPC): Who told you that?

Williams: Uh, someone who knows about these sorta things.

Octenshin: Nice citation there, "professor"! :thumbdown

 

Disguise discussions....

Wilmott: The insane banker look isn't working for you.

 

In the midst of a weird battle...

GM: There's a bang, a flash, and a squish.

 

While fighting a mutated bacteria...

GM: It extends a very angry looking pseudopod toward you...

Sterling (OOC): How does a pseudopod look angry?

Williams: Maybe it has a little frowny face on it. ;)

 

After Octenshin finished a ten-minute explanation for why the PCs should go after a superfast thief...

Sterling (OOC): Did you spend all night rationalizing this?

Octenshin (OOC): Nope, just pulled it out of my @$$ just now.

 

During an argument about whether the PCs should use their powers to fight crime or not...

Octenshin: Look, you can complain about the degradation of society or you could so something...

Sterling: Um, I don't actually complain about it.

Williams: Yeah, he profits on society's degradation.

 

Octenshin has managed to catch the aforementioned superfast thief...

Eddie Mercury (NPC): Have you ever been poor?

Octenshin: I'm a grad student. :straight:

 

Talking about recruiting the captured speedster Mercury...

Sterling (OOC): Nothing like conscripting the new Justice League.

Octenshin (OOC): The draft is still legal right now.

Williams (OOC): We...the few, the proud, the kidnapped.

 

Octenshin explains why he isn't attracted to the NPC reporter who followed the PCs to Central American and back ... and has insect powers...

Octenshin: I've hung by her proboscis over a field of cockroach cultists - I've seen her thorax. She's just not sexy to me any more.

 

During a daring escape from the villains' island stronghold...

Wilmott: We're headed to the airship.

Williams: Do either of us even know how to fly an airship?

Wilmott: We'll figure it out.

Williams: That's quite the can-do attitude you've developed there. :thumbup:

 

Williams realizes that holding different metals with let him fly, plus other powers...

GM: You don't know how long your copper pan will last.

Williams (OOC): I have a belt buckle! Many some loose change. :help:

 

---

 

And a few quick ones from my recently started 7th Sea pirate campaign dubbed The Captain's Treasure.

 

Characters include:

 

Alfredo Cabara - Castillian nobleman and fencer.

Theodora della Ochoa - Castillian doctor and fencer.

Sabbine of the Sea Breeze - Sidhe-touched Avalon armswoman.

Pia Franzini - Vodacce fencer and mathematician.

Nikita Borislev - Ussuran strongman.

Petra - Ussuran brawler.

 

---

 

A quick description of Petra as she walks in...

GM: She was the ship's kid mascot. She's grown up some in the last year.

Nikita: I did not recognize you with breasts.

 

Petra is used to barter economies and isn't sure what to do with dubloons...

Theodora: I'll take that awful yellow metal and go turn it into chickens.

Petra: Wow, are you a Sorcerer?

Alfredo: Yes, it's the Magic of Economics.

 

Discussion of food...

Pia: You don't make borscht; you recover it.

 

Reading a letter from their late pirate captain...

GM: The letter reads "Dear friends and comrades..."

Alfredo: This is an obvious forgery! It doesn't start with "Yar!"

 

A large band of Brutes burst unto the scene and the party displays the usual Hero confidence...

GM: The Vodacce starts calculating the odds.

Sabbinne: And what's the result?

Pia: I think they're in trouble. :eg:

 

Nikita's player wants to draw the Brutes' attention by standing up...

GM: Well, you are big.

Nikita (OOC): I have the Large Advantage.

GM: Okay, you are really big.

 

Random quote...

Petra: Not so very innocent people are going to die because of this delay.

 

---

 

Enjoy! I'll do my best to post more!

 

Lonewalker

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I registered just to share this with all of you.

 

GM: "That was after your accident, right?"

 

Poltergeist: "Two men were walking down the street, one with a bar of chocolat, the other with a jar of peanut butter, when suddenly *bump*. 'You got chocolate in my Peanut Butter!' 'You accidently gave me Super Powers!"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Tracy is left to plan the distraction to throw the bad guys off the groups trail.

Tracy: OK, expenses were 7.95$ for two boxes of Oreo Cookies, one chocolate covered and one double stuffed. I put those in the fancy box with a note "your favorite cookies, love mom." Next is 25$ to mail the box from the Bahamas to a P.O. Box in New Hampshire, I put the fancy box in a normal package box. Then 100$ to get the package to the air strip via Fast Courier. Last, was 6,000$ to smuggle the box into the Bahamas in the first place. The pilot's name is Carl, he leaves in four hours. Slow enough for them to discover our flight out, fast enough that they can't stop it.

 

Wait... how does that work? Is it coming in, and the bad guys will want to intercept it? (Not to mention, ¨to smuggle the box into the Bahamas in the first place¨ makes it REALLY confusing if you think about it. Was it smuggled in first, or was it mailed out then smuggled back in?)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Not a game quote, but...

 

Watched the movie "Oscar" last night. Sly Stallone plays a 1930's era mob boss trying to go straight. His minions haven't gotten it quite yet...

 

Sly: I told you to get rid of the guns!

Minion: You didn't mean all of them.

 

later, after taking the gun away from the minion, a car backfires and the minion pulls out *another gun.

 

Sly: Where'd you get that?

Minion: It's my back up.

Sly: I told you to get rid of ALL the guns!

Minion: Yeah, but...

Sly: That's it, give me all the weapons.

Minion proceeds to pull out another gun from his coat, a gun from behind his back, a gun from a ankle holster, a derringer from his forearm, a knife, another knife, a set of brass knuckles, a combined knife/brass knuckles set, a knife concealed as a belt buckle, a half dozen shurikan, a hand grenade...

Sly: It's like disarming Germany.

 

After this scene, my buddy Hank commented...

Hank: The minion must be a first level fighter.

Me: No, he's a low level rogue.

Hank: With that many weapons?

Me: They were all concealed. A fighter would carry them openly.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Two sessions in a row, as my computer died right after the first and they didn't fix it until after the next session.

 

Random Comment:

Ninja: Can I borrow an undead for hygiene purposes?

Ninja: I just wanted to see how you'd react.

 

In eerie resemblance of her first quote (where a similar comment gravely insulted the previous character of the player of the Cleric), Naomi meets a new character:

Naomi: Hey, ninja! You smell…good

Cleric: Ninjas shouldn't smell at all. Hey, ninja, remove your nose.

Without further explanation:

GM: Your teeth are not magic weapons or silver.

 

My scouting doesn't go as planned:

Kale: We have been discovered, stealth is no longer an option.

Ninja: Nonsense, stealth is always an option

Kale: Okay, maybe for some of us…

 

Naomi has a crisis of faith (she's planning to backstab Kale, so helping him defeat an imposer seems against her character):

Naomi: Can someone tell me why I'm doing this?

Kale (Neutral evil necromancer): You get to kill an evil necromancer.

Cleric: He's been hoarding all the towns supply of chocolate. And its that part of the century for you.

Naomi: Okay, lets go.

 

Battle Talk:

GM (Pointing at battle map): the elephant is…

Kale: in mint condition.

Ninja: It's fossilized, it's anything but mint.

 

A play on words:

GM: I'm just going to remove everything dead from the initiative list.

Kale: There are two undead armies out here.

GM: you know what I mean.

 

Fun with the rules:

Dusty: I jump out the window, then delay my fall action.

 

next session:

 

A couple without explanation:

Bear: What is the DC of a hug.

Kale: I have too much coffee to care.

Xen: You sing like a valleygirl after a sex change ... No offense Bear.

 

Xen tries speaking his character's accent:

Xen: You say it. You're Irish.

**Long pause**

Kale: Why does he think I'm Irish?

Xen: You like Irish folk ... You have one eyebrow.

 

In defense of his character concept:

Bear: I like one dimensional characters. It make making choices easy.

Kale considers his options before pissing off the church of Pelor:

Kale: I look around at my party. We have a bear rolling drunk in the mud; a ninja, who's singing, for some reason; the sniper is dead drunk, trying to forget she died; the dwarf is making jokes to the skulls on his shoulder… Combat may be not be the best option at this point.

 

How to torture our opponents:

Kale: We've found a new torture device. Push the wand up and in, then fire away.

Xen: Actually, wands are kind of naughty, eh, knotty.

The standard pre-combat theories of the nature of the enemies (with our DM they could be anything):

Dusty: He's a transformer. He'll turn into a ballista!

We're attacking a church of Pelor, so:

Dusty: Why are we being attacked by gladiators?!

 

Xen hangs on to a force ladder by one hand and is approached by our flying foes:

Bear: Ticking is a touch attack. *evil smile*

Xen: I'm a skeleton!

Bear: Then he'll tickle your funny bone.

Dusty rolls 180 damage in a single attack, one-shoting the boss:

Kale(KIA): That was a somewhat anti-climatic fight with a living saint on a rampaging elephant...

And my other group has finally gotten around to starting a new campaign:

 

We discuss how things really are:

Half-elf sword mage: In the real world you can never tell if someone has levels in fighter or not.

 

From character creation, said to the guy planning on going elf:

Half-elf sword mage: NO! You can't be my mother!!

 

I had the misfortune of asking which weapon group (house rules) the whip is in, sparking the following proposed weapon group:

Weapon group (rape weapons): sap, net, whip, spiked chain, rapier, bastard sword.

(The DM let me have most of those as part of Weapon group (zoo keeper) instead...)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Oh, lord... old discussion I just remembered. New group of PC's in DnD, trying to get transportation...

 

Jack: We can't afford horses.

Hank: If we pool our money, we can get a horse and wagon.

GM: You need two horses to pull a wagon.

Jack: Which we can't afford.

Hank: How about ponies?

GM: You'll need four ponies.

Jack: Which we can't afford.

Bill: Wait, if we get a bunch of pigs, harness them to the wagon, then...

Jack: NO! We aren't going that route. We're going to end up with a wagon towed by a hundred chickens. No.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Wait... how does that work? Is it coming in' date=' and the bad guys will want to intercept it? (Not to mention, ¨to smuggle the box into the Bahamas in the first place¨ makes it REALLY confusing if you think about it. Was it smuggled in first, or was it mailed out then smuggled back in?)[/quote']

 

Welcome to Tracy Thought.

 

She hired a plan to smuggle the group (with a package) into the Bahamas; She told the pilot - if the packages arrives without us, fly it in anyways and drop it at a post office. She then bought and packaged the cookies and pre-arranged postage from the Bahamas to New Hampshire and hired a Fast Courier to get the package to the plane.

 

Package --> Plane --> Bahamas --> New Hampshire is what went down.

 

The general consensus was that Tracy had come up with a plan so convoluted it was essentially unfollowable, but the set up was that the group was escorting a package to the Bahamas to "get out of town". It was a beautiful moment as I watched the confused horror spread across the GMs face.

 

Meanwhile, the groups other fixer set up the real plans to get us out of town. His plan was really simple - forged IDs and a commercial flight.

The group has two "face men" - Sergei the by-the-book-corporate-class Fixer, Tracy the hyper-my-brain-hurts-talking-to-you Fixer. Together they make on heckuva team.

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Guest Major Tom

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Not a game quote, but...

 

Watched the movie "Oscar" last night. Sly Stallone plays a 1930's era mob boss trying to go straight. His minions haven't gotten it quite yet...

 

Sly: I told you to get rid of the guns!

Minion: You didn't mean all of them.

 

later, after taking the gun away from the minion, a car backfires and the minion pulls out *another gun.

 

Sly: Where'd you get that?

Minion: It's my back up.

Sly: I told you to get rid of ALL the guns!

Minion: Yeah, but...

Sly: That's it, give me all the weapons.

Minion proceeds to pull out another gun from his coat, a gun from behind his back, a gun from a ankle holster, a derringer from his forearm, a knife, another knife, a set of brass knuckles, a combined knife/brass knuckles set, a knife concealed as a belt buckle, a half dozen shurikan, a hand grenade...

Sly: It's like disarming Germany.

 

After this scene, my buddy Hank commented...

Hank: The minion must be a first level fighter.

Me: No, he's a low level rogue.

Hank: With that many weapons?

Me: They were all concealed. A fighter would carry them openly.

 

 

Either that, or he's a surgically-altered Klingon spy...those guys don't walk

around with less than 20 concealed weapons on them.

 

 

 

 

Major Tom :eg:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

A month back I was in Almaty on a business trip and I played a quick session with a couple of Kazakhs I've known since '01 and the CPC project. They were playing an agent level game, 1920's on the run from Bolsheviks, in Mexico. I GM'd for them.

 

Given that thier English is still a little fractured...

GM - So, the pick up point is going to be in that little Cantina.

Vitaly - Kanteenah? What is this?

GM - It's like a small restaurant and bar combined.

Volodya - Da, a restauran. Hot food and Tequila!

GM - Yeah, you'd understand Tequila all right.

Volodya - And tortoise! hot spicey tortoise.

GM - Huh?

Mikhael - Yeah, had them at Cabana yesterday. Not so hot, little spicey, had some hard things in them.

GM - Tortoise?

Volodya - Very tasty! Okay, so we go to Cantina and wait for pickup.

GM - You ate Tortoise?

Vitaly - What? Say 2 times each week. Better than the cheese pie.

GM - cheese pie?

Volodya - Hah! He means peezah. Peezah pie. Tortoise is better.

 

Took me another 3 minutes to run the translation of Tortoise into Tortilla. But it cracked me up so much that 3 weeks later I'm still wandering around talking about getting me some spicey tortoise.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Welcome to Tracy Thought.

 

She hired a plan to smuggle the group (with a package) into the Bahamas; She told the pilot - if the packages arrives without us, fly it in anyways and drop it at a post office. She then bought and packaged the cookies and pre-arranged postage from the Bahamas to New Hampshire and hired a Fast Courier to get the package to the plane.

 

Package --> Plane --> Bahamas --> New Hampshire is what went down.

 

The general consensus was that Tracy had come up with a plan so convoluted it was essentially unfollowable, but the set up was that the group was escorting a package to the Bahamas to "get out of town". It was a beautiful moment as I watched the confused horror spread across the GMs face.

 

 

OK, I still had to read it three times but I finally get it. Sheesh. Did it work?

 

 

Gnaskar- why is Naomi planning to betray Kale? Because he´s a necromancer?

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Either that, or he's a surgically-altered Klingon spy...those guys don't walk

around with less than 20 concealed weapons on them.

 

I never quite understood that concept.

 

My characters usually have a simple philosophy: if I need a weapon, I'll just kill the other guy and take his. :eg:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Gnaskar- why is Naomi planning to betray Kale? Because he´s a necromancer?

 

I'm not quite sure actually. She informed me OOC not to get upset if/when she did about five sessions ago, and the way she's been acting has begun making Kale suspicious (but then Kale is paranoid by nature). There are several possible motives, though:

 

1. Base fear/jealousy: Kale is well on his way to becoming a god. He's planning on killing everyone in existence, creating an empire of his own special breed of sentient undead. The guy has his own plane of existence, for crying out loud. He's one of those threats to humanity that even bad guys want to hunt down.

 

2. PMSing: It's that time of the century for her, and she's done a lot of strange things with that excuse already. It could be just an extreme elven way of taking it out on the boss (Though she detests Kale being called that...).

 

3. Personal beliefs: She's got several class features directed toward undead and spellcasters, which make her deadly to undead casters. Whether this is the cause of her planned mutiny (if she's part of some undead hunting ranger lodge or secret wizard hating cult or something) or the effect (and she's leveling into something that could actually threaten me).

 

4. Greed: She believes Kale is hoarding party loot, because he maintains the loot list (I'm doing the hardest math course the school offers, so I was deemed the most suitable). Of course, she's partly justified in her beliefs; Kale's "Ascension" was hideously expensive, and the armor forged of chaos itself (bought for Sir Kalmeran) even more so.

 

Guess we’ll find out if she ever manages. Quite apart from the fact that his cult (with over a 1000 members) would resurrect him at once (and lynch her), he’d just end up in his own personal hell again. To clarify: that’s the hell he created by weight of the numerous kobold and, later, bandit souls he’s sacrificed to his own dark power. One that he rules over, and an excellent fallback point.

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