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Darren Watts

Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

During a fantasy game (it's not D&D, but has many trappings thereof), GM trying to work out, with a player, how her half-elf met a halfling in the party.

 

DM: "Well, the halfling lands are between the elves and humans ... you could just hang out there. The halflings aren't judgemental; they don't care if you're impure."

Me: "They don't care about your genetics, either."

 

After my character, a monk/mystic warrior type, uses one of those 'wagon-wheels-with-candles-style-hanging-chandeliers' to do the classing swinging-kick move.

Me: "I learned how to fight from Jackie Chan."

Next round, I flub my acrobatics check to perform a stunt, and slam shoulder-first into a support beam, taking damage.

Other Player: "Yep, you definitely learned how to fight from Jackie Chan ... mostly his outtakes reels."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From the same game ...

 

One of the party's halflings got a knock on his door.

Halfling Player: "I look through the little hole in the door to see who it is."

Me: "You realize you're looking at his crotch, right?"

HP: "Yeah, I know. I recognize him anyway."

(Awkward Pause)

GM: "Yes, it's your friend Dick Johnson."

(pause for giggles)

DM describes the messenger, who is leaving a parcel for the halfling. Unfortunately, his specific phrasing was 'he thrusts his package at you' and that's when I lost it completely. :D

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Stokely: All that I've seen is people being mean to me and to eachother. I've always known that because I've always been picked on and hurt! So is that how it's always going to be for me? I'll never be happy, just miserable?

 

(Long Pause.)

 

Caleb: I'm sorry. Did you want me to disagree?

 

------------

 

Caleb: People aren't making fun of you half as much as you think they are. And if they are, it wouldn't hurt to hit back once in a while. Unless, of course, they're bigger or stronger than you.

 

Stokely: I'm not going to hit people. It would make me no better than the bullies that they are.

 

Caleb: And if this were an after-school special, I would agree with you.

 

-------------

 

Stokely (a fledgling vampire): I really know how to screw things up and all I'm trying to do is make sense of it all. I just want these bad feelings to go away and never return, or at least not return for a very, very, very long time.

 

Caleb (an experienced vampire): Oh, that's simple. You just have to get numb to the pain. Eventually, you'll stop feeling bad. You'll stop feeling anything right around the time you start to get competent.

 

Caleb: It's kinda like working an entry level job at a corporation.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

No specific quote but the general theme; four super spies, and we attacked a sauna.

 

Three agents fired pistols into in while a forth peppered it with automatic rifle fire. At that poing we were 'guessing' that someone was hiding in there. (we happened to be right, but I was just imagining us blowing this thing to pieces only to find it empty and villain escaped)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Know that in my gaming group, when it comes to mass-combat, we keep our miniatures, the enemy leaders get miniatures, and the enemy troops end up being pennies. Often the pennies have a number drawn on them in white-out, to keep track of damage on a piece of paper. ("Penny #17 has 2 HP of damage already, so he goes down with that hit").

 

GM: "Which were you swinging at?"

Me: "Pennie #4"

GM: "You missed by 1 AC."

Me: [i search for an additional +1 from any source] "But... but... I get a ranger bonus. Abe Lincoln is my preferred enemy!"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The session before last, we polished off a major story arc, so last session had a lot of bookkeeping and "what to spend XP on".

 

One player wondered if they would be penalized for not spending all their XP right away. I said no, they could save some up if they wanted. Another player immediately asked "Do we get interest on them?"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Regina: Then again.. it's not suprising that you'd fly off the handle without even asking what the deal was....without taking into consideration all the times I yanked your ass outta the coals.

Caleb: Regina. You *are* the coals.

 

Regina: Oh right.. and you never weren't yourself, right Caleb? You never had your hand forced to do anything you didn't want to.. right? Was never influenced...? Not you....no. Heaven Forbid!

Caleb: That's different!

Regina: How?

Caleb: I don't know.

(pause)

Caleb: I'm too mad to think.

 

Caleb: My life is a comedy of errors written by Stephen King.

 

Kaylyn: We can go shopping together.. if that'll make ya feel better."

Caleb: I had this whole revenge thing planned out. Figured the fight would take about two hours, the gloating another hour... but, um, with the whole thing kinda getting messed up due to incompetence, my night just opened up. So... yeah, I'm game.

 

Caleb: Oh. Hey Stokely. When did you get here?

Stokely: A couple of hours ago.

Caleb: Oh... yeah. I... tend to develop tunnel vision when filled with murderous rage... and you're kinda a wallflower.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Here we are, having just finished off Viperia (I made an awesome roll on a killing attack, but we'd been chipping away at her for several phases). We've also just fought our way past several Viper agents with very dangerous weapons. My character, The Greek, is frustrated and angry because people keep using the Viper weapons to kill agents, and she has a CvK. And her chariot (which is built something like the chariot that carried the sun in Greek legends) vanished on her when she crashed it through a frozen security door, dumping her very unceremoniously on the floor.

 

So she calls up her chariot, and it takes its sweet time. When it DOES appear, she screeches, "Horses of the gods?!?!? Warhorses of the gods my ASS!"

 

Everyone lost it. And when they stopped laughing, they convinced me to share it here.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Funksaw again."

 

Sorry, man!

 

Michelle

aka

Samuraiko

I don't get it... When did "Funksaw" come up in a game? Huh?

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

What's Rep?

It's those little green bars to far right of the screen, parallel to your name. You've got 2 dots right now.

 

You *give* rep by clicking on the little scales icon to the right of someone's name. You check your own rep (and any associated comments) by going into your profile (Click User CP at the top of the page).

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

It's those little green bars to far right of the screen, parallel to your name. You've got 2 dots right now.

 

You *give* rep by clicking on the little scales icon to the right of someone's name. You check your own rep (and any associated comments) by going into your profile (Click User CP at the top of the page).

 

I don't know about your browser, but on mine the scales are between the post number and the "Report Bad Post" icon.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Caleb, because Kaylyn suggested it, is wearing a loud, metallic silver raver-shirt instead of his usual basic black or denim.

 

Kaylyn (To Moscowitz): "Looks good doesn't he?"

Moscowitz [a 60 year old bearded guy]: Well, yer damn sparklie. Kinda suits ya. In a post-modern kinda way. Anyway, I'd bed yah. Well if I still bed at all.

Caleb looks at Moscowitz weirdly. Long pause. Finally...

Caleb: "Post-modern?"

Moscowitz: Deconstructionist Disco Verite.

 

Erin: It's a nice shirt, but silver?

Caleb: Well, yes.

Erin: Could melt that thing down and make enough rounds to kill a few... well you know

Caleb: Fashion critics?

 

Moscowitz: Don't mope, Caleb, yer shoulders drop and ya blind cars outside.

 

=============

 

Moscowitz: Shooting each other, and then getting up from it... and they say I'm lackin' in th' prerequisite subtlety.

Kaylyn: "Yes well, just because some people are looking to land on the cover of the local tabloid doesn't mean you should."

Caleb: Yeah. They never get your good side...

 

Moscowitz: Lucky I been around. I hadda save one poor shmuck who got caught between Dawn and Erin in a lead shower...

Caleb: Why would you want to save anyone from being between Dawn and Erin in a show--- oh, you mean a firefight.

 

----------

 

Oh, and this is an oldie-but-goodie. Superhero game using Palladium's Heroes Unlimited (Between this and a Nightbane Campaign run with a completely different group, I learned: "All Palladium Games Eventually become Rifts," and swore off the system forever.)

 

Anyway, we rolled up our characters. And by that, I mean, we didn't get to choose ANY aspect of the characters. Somehow, I ended up with a speedster-brick with the baddest weapon in the game. Oh, and he was a giant monkey. Another player, seeking to avoid my hairy fate, said he was making his character from Ninjas and Superspies.

 

Problem is, the GM was rather stingy when it came to government assistance and equipment, to the point where the superspy's most reasonable requests were denied (granted, the player brought this upon himself by asking for a fleet of Apache helicopters to take down a single mediocre supervillian in the first session.)

 

Eventually it got to the point that he couldn't even get a gun. After one fruitless exchange between PC and headquarters, "Gorilla Boy" finally just came right out with it.

 

"Dude, you have to be like, on the absolute ass-end of the Conspiracy."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The PCs are all at a museum gala celebrating a new exibit of Egyptian artifacts.

 

Me: The lights go out. As the emercency lighting comes on you see the exits are blocked by what looks like Egytian gods. you hear a booming voice echo "YOU HAVE STOLEN THE TREASURES OF AKMENATON! NOW YOU WILL PAY!"

 

Wharf the Drunken Cyborg: "Aloha, Bitches!" 4d6 K on the loudmouth.

 

Later in combat, a new PC's anime schoolgirl goes through her "Bubble Transformation" sequence in which she spins around naked in glowing bubbles as ribbons form her costume.

 

Wharf: "Um, Aloha bitches!"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Capt. M is trying to buy back his brownstone in the Village that was sold at action for back taxes while he was in hell. The new owner got it cheap and refuses to sell for less than 6 millions dollars. He asks Lillith if she and her ghosts can help him convince the old lady to move.

 

"Wait, you want me to pimp out my ghosts so you can get cheap real estate!?! That's so unethical I can't even believe you! Um, OK."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

And from our famous Gadgeteer in the group came this little ditty.

 

"Something else strange, about 40 of the dots suddenly got close together and are blinking."

"What does blinking mean?" Asks Geiger.

"On, off, on, off. How the hell am I supposed to know what the hell blinking means on this damn machine, do I have a 101 Genocide manual on how it works!"

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