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Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


Darren Watts

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I never quite understood that concept.

 

My characters usually have a simple philosophy: if I need a weapon, I'll just kill the other guy and take his. :eg:

 

Sometimes the other guy has a crappy weapon (whether due to poor taste, low budget, poor maintainance or an unorthidox number of limbs) and you want to make sure you have a weapon you can count on and access immediately.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The team is a group of cybernetically enhanced U.S. Marshalls

 

The players are discussing their lowest stats.

Ham (ooc): My EGO is 8. I have impulse control issues.

 

We're tracking down some stolen nanites which could pose a threat to human life if incorrectly programmed. The creator of the nanites agreed that one of Ham's friends, a hazardous materials disposal specialist, would be very helpful.

Ham (ooc): (to GM) I call D-Tox, one of my army buddies. He was an nuclear / biological / chemical expert during the war, and now he works in hazmat disposal. He's a full borg conversion and borderline cyberpsycho.

Darnell (ooc): Can your friend be killed with bullets?

Ham (ooc): Sure ... provided you hit him in the right spot ... with a heavy enough caliber.

Darnell (ooc): (to Eyes) Damn. That rules out my handguns. We're going to have to keep an eye on that guy.

Eyes (ooc): Why not let Ham keep an eye on his own DNPC?

Darnell (ooc): It's the "D" part I'm worried about ... and I'm not comfortable with having the cyberpsycho watched by the guy with impulse control problems.

Eyes (ooc): Oh ... good point.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

OK' date=' I still had to read it three times but I finally get it. Sheesh. Did it work?[/quote']

 

That was the session cliff hanger. We don't know.

We're pretty sure it will, the other Fixer rolled a 3 on their Forgery Roll. Getting out of town one way or the other is probably a cake walk.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Sometimes the other guy has a crappy weapon (whether due to poor taste' date=' low budget, poor maintainance or an unorthidox number of limbs) and you want to make sure you have a weapon you can count on and access immediately.[/quote']

 

A weapon by definition is unreliable. Guns jam, knives break, swords get stuck in your opponent's torso. Let's not even start on the use of grenades in close quarters. :ugly:

 

That's why it's good not to depend on them. :D

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

A weapon by definition is unreliable. Guns jam, knives break, swords get stuck in your opponent's torso. Let's not even start on the use of grenades in close quarters. :ugly:

 

That's why it's good not to depend on them. :D

 

"Cannons run out of ammo. Blade and body last forever. Best weapons in the world." -- Shenhua, Black Lagoon

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

A month back I was in Almaty on a business trip and I played a quick session with a couple of Kazakhs I've known since '01 and the CPC project. They were playing an agent level game, 1920's on the run from Bolsheviks, in Mexico. I GM'd for them.

 

Given that thier English is still a little fractured...

GM - So, the pick up point is going to be in that little Cantina.

Vitaly - Kanteenah? What is this?

GM - It's like a small restaurant and bar combined.

Volodya - Da, a restauran. Hot food and Tequila!

GM - Yeah, you'd understand Tequila all right.

Volodya - And tortoise! hot spicey tortoise.

GM - Huh?

Mikhael - Yeah, had them at Cabana yesterday. Not so hot, little spicey, had some hard things in them.

GM - Tortoise?

Volodya - Very tasty! Okay, so we go to Cantina and wait for pickup.

GM - You ate Tortoise?

Vitaly - What? Say 2 times each week. Better than the cheese pie.

GM - cheese pie?

Volodya - Hah! He means peezah. Peezah pie. Tortoise is better.

 

Took me another 3 minutes to run the translation of Tortoise into Tortilla. But it cracked me up so much that 3 weeks later I'm still wandering around talking about getting me some spicey tortoise.

 

10+ years back, McDonalds was selling 'Breakfast Burritos', and had a advertisement where the klutz tried to order his breakfast burrito using bad Spainish...

"Amigo tortuga con queso fria el papa, por favor"

"You want a friendly turtle with cheese frozen for the Pope?"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Trawler : If there's an explosion, we need to be there.

 

In trouble as usual...

Miss Chaos
: So, did we remember the paddle this time?

Avatar
: I think we left it in the last universe.

Megiddo -

 

Garth, from the peanut gallery
: Is that where you get illegal fireworks from?

Avatar's player
: Are nuclear devices illegal fireworks?

Garth
: .... Yes!

 

Which country did that thousand kilometer wide mushroom cloud of trans-light wavicles just just off in?

 

Weldun GM
: "Somewhere in the sour-cabbage-eating group"

Zero
: "Korea?"

Weldun GM
: "The other sour-cabbage-eating group."

Trawler
attempts and botches a knowledge check
: "*sighs* I don't even know what a cabbage is."

 

Weldun GM
: "And somebody just set off two fusion bombs in Wales."

Zero
: "That terrible! Who would do that? They're such nice animals. Unless they're trying to do one better then that dynamited whale video..."

 

Trawler
: "If somebody is setting off nukes, we need to be out there!"

Zero
: "And that's a sentence the people in this universe have never heard before"

 

 

We learn the aliens are vulnerable to sonic attacks.

 

Zero
: "Well, Stentorian - today is your lucky day - you're actually useful."

Stentorian
: "I strike a back-lit heroic pose."

 

Zero
: "We're off to Scotland - where the men wear kilts and the thistles grow waist-high"

 

Avatar
: Black Talisman? What, they've become one person?

Zero
: "Teleporter accident?"

Miss Chaos
: "If Talisman starts wearing his armour I'll be quite disturbed."

Weldun GM
: "Yeah? And if Black Paladin starts wearing
hers
?"

 

Trawler
: "Why do I even bother trying to make a plan?"

Zero
: "We have no idea what he's up to - how
can
we plan?"

Trawler
: "So what do we do when we find him?"

Zero
: "We beat him up 'til he stops."

Weldun GM
: "It's worked so far."

 

Miss Chaos
: "Rule 74 : Beware kind-eyed smiling bald guys with beards."

 

 

And in Call of Cthulhu, where the investigators found themselves involved in the case of the Fish Boy and all the various parties trying to buy aforementioned icthyic youngling. They'd only gone to the carnival to try and distract themselves from the horror of last week.

Alexei
: So what is there to do in this town?

Lucy, hopefully OOC
: Me.

 

Alexei OOC
*looking at the Nichols' Carnival poster*
: Hmm, smells like plot hook.

Me, GM
: This is Call of Cthulhu - there's no shortage of things I can inflict on you if you don't bite this one.

Alexei & Lucy squabble over the last bottle of vodka ( oddly enough, the more she's been drinking, the less sanity she loses. I'm definitely leaning towards chronic alcoholism as her madness of choice when she inevitably succumbs.)

Lucy OOC
: You gave it to me! It was a gift!

Alexei OOC
: I was trying to get sex! That's not a gift!

One of the carnival freaks is the Horror From The South Pacific. The glomming geek in question bites the head off a chicken and drinks the blood from the stump.

Alexei's player
: "That's what I call sucking c***."

( I'm somewhat concerned having my wife and Alexei's player at one table - I'm not sure the fabric of space and time will survive TWO Smut Fields in such close proximity.)

 

The ringmaster gets into a wrestling match with Gorgo the Ape.

Alexei
: Two dollars on the chimp.

After earlier speculation about the proportions of the freak-show midget, Nambuto the Watusi Giant appears

Alexei
: I wonder if
he
is built to proportion.

Me, GM
: *
shrugs
* You know what they say about black men.

Alexei
: Yes - they have very dark skin.

On holding the Fish Boy to ransom.

"We could always prove we have him by sending them fish fingers"

We've already had to explain Japanese rope bondage and furniture porn to the new player. Don't ask, it was relevant at the time. On the CoC character sheet, Hand-to-hand skills are listed as Fist, Head, etc. His character actually manages to hit somebody, and the player proudly announces

"My first fisting"

Rest of the group
: *
stares
*

Koura's Player
: ".... What?"

Me, GM
: "You really
are
innocent, aren't you?"

Alexei's English fails him again, this time regarding the South Sea Horror ( allegedly rescued from desert/dessert island ).

 

Alexei
: "You don't eat jelly? What do you eat?"

Sydney
: "Lizards, coconuts, that sort of thing."

Lucy
: "... your fellow passengers..."

Alexei
: "But not their boots."

 

Alexei
: He is guilty of many, many things. Such like Deprivation of Library.

Sydney
: Liberty?

Alexei
: Yes, dat is de word.

Lucy OOC
: Although Deprivation of Library should be a crime, too.

 

Alexei's Player to GM
: "Was that religious
instruction
or
destruction
?

 

Lucy
: "I'm an honorable woman"

Other players
: *chorus of disbelieving laughter*

The Horror is drugged, turns violent, and escapes. Eventually subdued, he goes into convulsions, and collapses.

Koura
: "Is anyone here a doctor? Or a vet?"

 

Me, GM
: It's not merely a massive heart attack - it's more like his heart split open like an over-ripe banana

Players,
all looking nauseated
: "What a wonderful turn of phrase you have"

Nambuto goes berserk and charges into the crowd wielding a large spear.

Alexei OOC
: "Somebody is going to get a shafting."

To my intense gratification, most of the PCs react to the final revelation by scattering into the dunes and cowering under vehicles and bushes ( all very sane reactions ). Some hours later they emerge to get their stories straight, hide the $10,000 they've managed to dubiously acquire, and explain why one of the NPCs is scattered over a wide expanse of beach.

 

They try to put a bright face on things.

Koura
: Time for breakfast!

Alexei
:
Not fish.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Watched Cinderella recently.

 

Guests at the Palace Ball
: "It obvious, she must be a Princess"

Me, MST3King
: "What, she's inbred and a bleeder? I suppose the glass slippers would be useful - you could count the extra toes"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Watched Cinderella recently.

Guests at the Palace Ball
: "It obvious, she must be a Princess"

Me, MST3King
: "What, she's inbred and a bleeder? I suppose the glass slippers would be useful - you could count the extra toes"

 

Gah, I know too much history, I should let this go by, but I'm going to show off...

 

Hemophilia (Bleeders) was a male only genetic disease. Women could be carriers, but only males had the disease. Apparently most of the descendants of Queen Victory had it. Since she had lots of kids, and they married all over the royal families in Europe, the disease showed up a great deal in the royal families, just in time for the Russian Revolution...

 

(I are a internet know it all. Won't someone please help?)

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Guest Major Tom

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Trawler : If there's an explosion, we need to be there.

 

In trouble as usual...

Miss Chaos
: So, did we remember the paddle this time?

Avatar
: I think we left it in the last universe.

Megiddo -

 

Garth, from the peanut gallery
: Is that where you get illegal fireworks from?

Avatar's player
: Are nuclear devices illegal fireworks?

Garth
: .... Yes!

 

Which country did that thousand kilometer wide mushroom cloud of trans-light wavicles just just off in?

 

Weldun GM
: "Somewhere in the sour-cabbage-eating group"

Zero
: "Korea?"

Weldun GM
: "The other sour-cabbage-eating group."

Trawler
attempts and botches a knowledge check
: "*sighs* I don't even know what a cabbage is."

 

Weldun GM
: "And somebody just set off two fusion bombs in Wales."

Zero
: "That terrible! Who would do that? They're such nice animals. Unless they're trying to do one better then that dynamited whale video..."

 

Trawler
: "If somebody is setting off nukes, we need to be out there!"

Zero
: "And that's a sentence the people in this universe have never heard before"

 

 

We learn the aliens are vulnerable to sonic attacks.

 

Zero
: "Well, Stentorian - today is your lucky day - you're actually useful."

Stentorian
: "I strike a back-lit heroic pose."

 

Zero
: "We're off to Scotland - where the men wear kilts and the thistles grow waist-high"

 

Avatar
: Black Talisman? What, they've become one person?

Zero
: "Teleporter accident?"

Miss Chaos
: "If Talisman starts wearing his armour I'll be quite disturbed."

Weldun GM
: "Yeah? And if Black Paladin starts wearing
hers
?"

 

Trawler
: "Why do I even bother trying to make a plan?"

Zero
: "We have no idea what he's up to - how
can
we plan?"

Trawler
: "So what do we do when we find him?"

Zero
: "We beat him up 'til he stops."

Weldun GM
: "It's worked so far."

 

Miss Chaos
: "Rule 74 : Beware kind-eyed smiling bald guys with beards."

 

 

And in Call of Cthulhu, where the investigators found themselves involved in the case of the Fish Boy and all the various parties trying to buy aforementioned icthyic youngling. They'd only gone to the carnival to try and distract themselves from the horror of last week.

Alexei
: So what is there to do in this town?

Lucy, hopefully OOC
: Me.

 

Alexei OOC
*looking at the Nichols' Carnival poster*
: Hmm, smells like plot hook.

Me, GM
: This is Call of Cthulhu - there's no shortage of things I can inflict on you if you don't bite this one.

Alexei & Lucy squabble over the last bottle of vodka ( oddly enough, the more she's been drinking, the less sanity she loses. I'm definitely leaning towards chronic alcoholism as her madness of choice when she inevitably succumbs.)

Lucy OOC
: You gave it to me! It was a gift!

Alexei OOC
: I was trying to get sex! That's not a gift!

One of the carnival freaks is the Horror From The South Pacific. The glomming geek in question bites the head off a chicken and drinks the blood from the stump.

Alexei's player
: "That's what I call sucking c***."

( I'm somewhat concerned having my wife and Alexei's player at one table - I'm not sure the fabric of space and time will survive TWO Smut Fields in such close proximity.)

 

The ringmaster gets into a wrestling match with Gorgo the Ape.

Alexei
: Two dollars on the chimp.

After earlier speculation about the proportions of the freak-show midget, Nambuto the Watusi Giant appears

Alexei
: I wonder if
he
is built to proportion.

Me, GM
: *
shrugs
* You know what they say about black men.

Alexei
: Yes - they have very dark skin.

On holding the Fish Boy to ransom.

"We could always prove we have him by sending them fish fingers"

We've already had to explain Japanese rope bondage and furniture porn to the new player. Don't ask, it was relevant at the time. On the CoC character sheet, Hand-to-hand skills are listed as Fist, Head, etc. His character actually manages to hit somebody, and the player proudly announces

"My first fisting"

Rest of the group
: *
stares
*

Koura's Player
: ".... What?"

Me, GM
: "You really
are
innocent, aren't you?"

Alexei's English fails him again, this time regarding the South Sea Horror ( allegedly rescued from desert/dessert island ).

 

Alexei
: "You don't eat jelly? What do you eat?"

Sydney
: "Lizards, coconuts, that sort of thing."

Lucy
: "... your fellow passengers..."

Alexei
: "But not their boots."

 

Alexei
: He is guilty of many, many things. Such like Deprivation of Library.

Sydney
: Liberty?

Alexei
: Yes, dat is de word.

Lucy OOC
: Although Deprivation of Library should be a crime, too.

 

Alexei's Player to GM
: "Was that religious
instruction
or
destruction
?

 

Lucy
: "I'm an honorable woman"

Other players
: *chorus of disbelieving laughter*

The Horror is drugged, turns violent, and escapes. Eventually subdued, he goes into convulsions, and collapses.

Koura
: "Is anyone here a doctor? Or a vet?"

 

Me, GM
: It's not merely a massive heart attack - it's more like his heart split open like an over-ripe banana

Players,
all looking nauseated
: "What a wonderful turn of phrase you have"

Nambuto goes berserk and charges into the crowd wielding a large spear.

Alexei OOC
: "Somebody is going to get a shafting."

To my intense gratification, most of the PCs react to the final revelation by scattering into the dunes and cowering under vehicles and bushes ( all very sane reactions ). Some hours later they emerge to get their stories straight, hide the $10,000 they've managed to dubiously acquire, and explain why one of the NPCs is scattered over a wide expanse of beach.

 

They try to put a bright face on things.

Koura
: Time for breakfast!

Alexei
:
Not fish.

 

 

Two Smut Fields?! OMG, he's right -- there's no way that the fabric of

space-time can hold up under the stresses of a Porn Singularity.

 

Before you know it, Perth (or at least Drhoz's part of it) will be overrun by

sex fiends, human and non-human alike (it is, after all, a CoC game).

 

 

 

Major Tom :eg:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Gah, I know too much history, I should let this go by, but I'm going to show off...

 

Hemophilia (Bleeders) was a male only genetic disease. Women could be carriers, but only males had the disease. Apparently most of the descendants of Queen Victory had it. Since she had lots of kids, and they married all over the royal families in Europe, the disease showed up a great deal in the royal families, just in time for the Russian Revolution...

 

(I are a internet know it all. Won't someone please help?)

 

She could have been homozygous for the condition, just as you can get colour-blind women on rare occasions. But, yes, I know it's unlikely. Even more unlikely than fairy godmothers and pumpkins that don't need a road-worthiness certificate.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Two Smut Fields?! OMG, he's right -- there's no way that the fabric of

space-time can hold up under the stresses of a Porn Singularity.

 

Before you know it, Perth (or at least Drhoz's part of it) will be overrun by

sex fiends, human and non-human alike (it is, after all, a CoC game).

 

 

 

Major Tom :eg:

 

Ia! Shub-Niggurath! Goat Of A Thousand Young!

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I visited Perth and Freemantle with the USN in 1993. With only one day for my visit, I set out to see the sights... I was very annoyed to find out the city was closed on Sundays.

 

Wait... color blindness is male only? I didn't know that.

(A quick search: Hemophilia is carried in the X chromosone. Women, having 2 X, have a chance of a non-defective copy. They can only get Hemophilia from a hemophiliac father and a carrier mother. Since Hemophiliac men tended to die before puberty, female hemophilia was very rare until modern treatments prevented the men from dying young.)

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Guest Major Tom

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Making my vacation plans now. :bounce:

 

 

And if your luck is really crappy, you'll get there in time to be part of the next

big rabbit invasion/infestation, where you'll get to experience one of the more

exciting forms of Aussie hospitality (:bmk:).

 

 

 

 

Major Tom :sneaky:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

And if your luck is really crappy, you'll get there in time to be part of the next

big rabbit invasion/infestation, where you'll get to experience one of the more

exciting forms of Aussie hospitality (:bmk:).

 

At least Teh Bunneh would make a really big Akubra hat - value for money!

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Guest Major Tom

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

At least Teh Bunneh would make a really big Akubra hat - value for money!

 

 

What's an Akubra hat?

 

 

 

Major Tom :confused:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Social services would really hate her.

And don't even get me *started* on what the *media* would say about her!

 

I hear her mom's about to get foreclosed on - can you imagine the irresponsibility of it all?

 

(Forgive me, I'm ill... but here's a quote to make up for it!)

 

GM: "We'll move the adventure along to the next major section once somebody gets Phelar to stop making paper dollies out of her former master's entrails."

 

Phelar (OOC): "Good luck with that."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

And if your luck is really crappy' date=' you'll get there in time to be part of the next big rabbit invasion/infestation, where you'll get to experience one of the more exciting forms of Aussie hospitality (:bmk:).[/quote']

 

Man. Why's everybody always shooting me? :mad:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, right. The whole evil thing. Eh heh. :P

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Guest Major Tom

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

And don't even get me *started* on what the *media* would say about her!

 

I hear her mom's about to get foreclosed on - can you imagine the irresponsibility of it all?

 

(Forgive me, I'm ill... but here's a quote to make up for it!)

 

GM: "We'll move the adventure along to the next major section once somebody gets Phelar to stop making paper dollies out of her former master's entrails."

 

Phelar (OOC): "Good luck with that."

 

 

Ewwwww...I think Phelar just invented a new skill for Horror HERO:

 

Organgami (DEX-based).

 

 

 

Major Tom :idjit:

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Guest Major Tom

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Man. Why's everybody always shooting me? :mad:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, right. The whole evil thing. Eh heh. :P

 

 

Well, they've got to have something to shoot at down there...the whole "evil

rabbit" thing in your case'd be a bonus extra.

 

 

 

 

Major Tom :eg:

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