Jump to content

Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


Recommended Posts

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Sessions Ii & III of Farlanthia the Age of Dreams

 

Session II

Nate: "I'm giving Wyk (his PC) room to grow."

Mike: "Into what?"

Steve (the GM): "A size 5 shoe."

 

Grady: "Infernal Rebuke."

Josh: "What does that do?"

Grady: "Ruins his day."

 

Joan: "Are you [Calsar] dead?"

Kelly: "I took 26, I have 25."

Joan: "I'll be right over."

 

"Sonic hip attack"

 

A warlock's curse: "I'm going to cut [the halfling] in half and make a pair of quarterlings."

 

Session III

On the origins of a halfling ambush: "Who else? Not a lot of openings for assassins in the Lollipop Guild."

 

Calidore to Wyk: "So, in order to prove your father is not a tyrant, you're going to kill a prisoner who has surrendered and asked for quarter."

 

A new euphemism for sex: "Studying in the library"

 

On Wyk's planned treatment for a prisoner: "Well, that explains why Wyk has 'waterboarding' on his character sheet."

 

Mike's comment on the description of the Shadar-Kai in the Monster Manual. "Shadar-Kai are D&D's version of Suicide Girls."

 

A new power: "Emo-Vision"

 

Mike makes a suggestion on how to arrange for a distraction in the goblin village. The GM responds: "Candygram for Mongo?" :nonp:

 

Grady gives advice to the Eladrin sorceress: "Don't say you can't do anything, we're getting screwed!"

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 12.8k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...   I was running my Zombie Apocalypse game, with several long-time friends.   The three PC's and one NPC are on the top of a sporting goods store tha

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...     NP: Everyone's picking on me. This game is too hard. I quit.   GM: Why is my player base so stagnant?   Hero Games: Why are our sal

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...   The UNITY team is discussing how they might infiltrate an alien battleship. The team's shapeshifting Russian hero has a suggestion.   Vilkacis: Yo

Posted Images

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Call of Cthulhu' date=' finally. My players have been looking forward to this eagerly. Perhaps too eagerly, since the first few minutes were a riff on "Kanga loves [i']CoC[/i]", "I'm going into town tonight for CoC" and "Me love CoC longtime"

 

New PC, Blake Harrington, Private Eye - hired to find out why a Riverside landlord managed to get a house ridiculously cheap, and why he can't keep any tenants in it. The landlord neglects to mention that the previous tenants all fell victim to various freak knife accidents, mysterious illness, and insanity.

 

Drhoz, this sounds vaguely familiar. Is this the scenario with the undead sorcerer in the basement and the knife is used to summon dimensional shamblers?

 

(digs through CoC 5th Edition)

 

Aha! The Haunting with Walter Corbitt! Was that it?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I dunno. If it was a present-day setting' date=' you could just claim the place was a popular hang-out for some punk rock or heavy metal band (or maybe a TV evangelist?) - and all that stuff would seem pretty normal then.[/quote']

 

maybe so, but in Massachusetts, 1920? Where even being Roman Catholic was grounds for suspicion?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Drhoz, this sounds vaguely familiar. Is this the scenario with the undead sorcerer in the basement and the knife is used to summon dimensional shamblers?

 

(digs through CoC 5th Edition)

 

Aha! The Haunting with Walter Corbitt! Was that it?

 

you got it :D

Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I'm doing these mostly from memory so hopefully I won't screw them up...

 

We're currently playing a Star Trek game set about 20 years after the end of DS9. The valiant crew has been trapped in a causality loop in the middle of a war with a ultra-xenophobic race who views humans as tasty treats. The reason they are at war is because another race has mind-controlled highly-placed members of Starfleet and are using the Federation as their stalking horse. Business as usual, in other words.

 

The loop triggers yet again and the heroes find ourselves back two weeks from the orginal campaign start but with their memories intact. The fighter pilot immediately reports to his superior that he needs to be reassigned to the next post earlier than planned because he's gone back in time.

 

Me (OOC): Great. Our first order of business will be breaking him out of the psych ward.

 

The fighter pilot then mentions that Starfleet might want to arrest a few admirals.

 

Me (OOC): I stand corrected. The psych ward AND the stockade.

 

Even later, my character, the engineer, tries to recall a vital clue and rolls a critical success.

 

Fighter Pilot: Wow, even I'm impressed.

Engineer: Good. I'll expect you in my room at 8 o'clock tonight.

 

Yes, the two characters involved are male, and the engineer is a practicing bisexual.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Tonight, the Heroes of Northguard believed someone was shadowing Exodus, a super who desperately wants to be a hero, despite the fact that he has the power of the ten plagues of Egypt.

 

So they find his shadower, this mercenary named Micron, because Scarlet Angel is waiting in a blind and spots him half a mile away, THROUGH his holo-imager (No one asked why the Lotus Esprit had a holo-imager, however, this is not my problem). She fires a smoke arrow and delays him at a traffic light.

 

So Nightingale, the group's dark vigilante, sneaks up on the car and tries to pick the lock on the trunk. I was like "We have to go to phases now."

 

Macrobot, Micron's amazing Robot Ally: Attention, Micron. There are lockpicks in my ass equivalent. Preparing to engage.

 

(Massive Giant Robot Transformation from Holographically induced Lotus Esprit Occurs)

 

Macrobot: Attention, Nightingale. Although you are extremely attractive, being anally probed is not part of my programming. Allow me to introduce you to my jackhammer fists. (VRUMMM)

 

So combat ensues, as Micron is dragged halfway across the battlefield by Scarlet Angel's boomerang arrow.

 

The Macrobot ONE PUNCHES Nightingale, rolls 12d6 and 55 Stun/17 Body, followed by a knockback roll that smashes her into a nearby building for 48 STUN/15 Body.

 

Kodiak: Why didn't you attack me?

 

Macrobot: How would you feel if someone stuck lockpicks in YOUR ass equivalent?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The funniest lines of the night cannot be printed. Let's just say that it wouldn't be out of place in an NC-17 comedy by Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

 

I rolled up an energy blaster alien unfamiliar with the world's cultures and naive to boot.

 

--------------

 

The scenario: An automatic alarm has gone off at the local Teenage Superhero Boarding School and Secret Super Base.

 

Crescendo34 runs in the front door, and is surrounded by three nasty-looking men with machine guns.

 

Crescendo34: "Hello. Are you the individuals who called in the alarm?"

Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Anotherskip- I'd love to hear that story..

 

OK about two weeks before the campaign begun the Gm told us "hey i'm gonna run Paranoia."

 

Being the smart little cookie I am and having heard a bunch of rumors I prepare three character sheets. Well we were at a college and the local gaming club met every day usually for Spades/hearts whatever. I can be pretty annoying (even on accident, imagine that!) so deciding to strut his GM stuff he would kill a character of mine every time he felt like it. So the day of the game we sit down and start playing. Finally about half way through the game he looks at me and goes

GM-"how many times did i kill you?"

Me-"Eight"

GM-" OK, so you shouldn't be playing, you only have five clones at most."

Me-*Pulls out first character sheet and hands it over to the GM* "I'm on my second character Clone 3 of 6, I can do math you know."

GM-*Groans*

Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

In a Star Wars game, infiltrating the place where they're building Hornet-class fighter craft. Posing as borderline-legal possible business partners, we've managed to fake our way into a tour of the production floor.

 

"Are any of these Hornets green?"

 

"No, everything's bare metal. The paint shop is downstream of here."

 

"Good. I don't really care about the green one, but I do know his sidekick kicks a**."

Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

In a Star Wars game, infiltrating the place where they're building Hornet-class fighter craft. Posing as borderline-legal possible business partners, we've managed to fake our way into a tour of the production floor.

 

"Are any of these Hornets green?"

 

"No, everything's bare metal. The paint shop is downstream of here."

 

"Good. I don't really care about the green one, but I do know his sidekick kicks a**."

he sure does lol

Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Finally back playing our Heracles Children: Heroes of Ancient Greece campaign!

 

We're finally out of the jungles of Deepest Africa (modern day Lake Victoria to the Sudan) and in Lower Egypt (Nubia).

 

We haven't played so long, poor Critias is having trouble remembering where he's prince of:

 

Critias: "I'm Prince of ... " OOC: "Crap!"

Aveula OOC: "Prince of Crap? You should probably call it Crappiér, it sounds better."

 

-------------------------------------------

We're discussing various plans for getting our former Hyksos rebel fighters, now Myrmidons, out of Nubia and the ideas aren't flowing so well.

 

Lydos (Me) OOC: "We're not so good when we're not in Greece."

Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

A few from last night's Champions game, set in Chicago:

 

Background: Sentinel (in secret ID) has an adopted 14 year-old daughter Sarah, and a few weeks back the PC just became engaged. Due to apartment problems, she and her fiance Frank are house hunting, looking for a duplex, brownstone, or something similar to house them and the elderly woman who keeps an eye on Sarah after school.

 

A realtor contacts her about a 3-apartment brownstone in a nice neighborhood, very close to the local high school and the El train line. The place is going for a song, because...

 

Realtor: ... about a week ago, the prior owner was killed during an apparent break-in. I don't know how you would feel about that...

Sentinel (thinking about saving a huge chunk of money on the purchase): Everybody has to die somewhere. (shrug) Doesn't bother me.

 

Frank: It's a good thing Sarah's not here.

Sentinel: Yeah, she'd be, like, "Someone died here? COOL!!!"

Subliminal (OOC): Better check out the basement. There might be DEMON worshippers down there.

Synergy (OOC, imitating Sarah): Cultists in the basement! Someone knifed on the third floor! This place ROCKS!

 

The ground floor apartment is already rented to a single mom and her son. Sentinel goes to meet with her.

 

Sentinel: How old is your son?

Tenant: Fifteen.

Sentinel: When I heard "single mother," I thought she was raising a small kid, maybe grade school! (thinking about her character's 14 year old daughter; glares at the GM)

GM: *evil laugh* You knew there had to be *something* off about the place, but you thought the murder was it. :sneaky:

 

Sentinel decides to finally tell her fiance about her being a superheroine.

 

Sentinel (OOC): I'll take him out to dinner, saying we're celebrating buying the house.

GM: You're gonna tell him in a busy restaurant?! (Imitates Frank) "You're SENTINEL?!?!"

Sentinel: Hey, Serendipity, your bar has a private dining room for small parties, doesn't it? Mind if I borrow it?

 

After dinner is done:

 

Sentinel: Before we get married, though, there's something else you need to know... (begins unbuttoning her top to reveal her Sentinel costume underneath)

Frank: Kinky! I like it! Say, you don't have a Serendipity costume, too, do you? She's hot!

 

The players are discussing how Frank might react to this, and some speculate that he's going to reveal to her that he's a VIPER agent, or the local Nest Leader (Magnetite), or some other villain. This of course turns into a short gag reel.

 

GM (imitating Frank): Honey, there's something I have to tell you. Y'see, I just went with the name "Frank" because it's pretty close to "Freddy"...

Sentinel: No way! If he's actually Foxbat, THE WEDDING IS OFF!!!

 

But back to the game. A stunned Frank tells Sentinel he needs to think about this and leaves the place in a daze. Styx trails after Frank to make sure he gets home okay, and intercepts a thug putting on brass knuckles and getting ready to mug Frank.

 

Styx: I grab his hand, the one with the brass knuckles, and SQUEEZE! He's gonna have fun getting those off.

(The guy drops to his knees and screams in pain.)

Styx: Y'know, you're getting off easy...

Thug: Yeah! I feel real lucky! YOU BROKE MY FREAKIN' HAND!!!!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

So, for those who remember the Gurgoyle in a Thong bit, tonight, this quote took place while the characters were trying to pincer their enemies.

 

Emerald (Radioed): I hope that these guys like being in a sandwich.

 

Callie (Radioed): After what you did in Kingsdale, never say ANYTHING like that ever again!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

More DCEAU Quotes:

 

The Flash's player (P-Duck) was GMing the League.

-----------------

 

GM: A man is climbing the Himalayas. He seems compelled to climb away from his group toward a cave in the ice. As he climbs he is muttering "I must find her....the girl of my dreams..."

 

Hawkgirl (OOC): In the Himalayas?!?

 

Power Girl (OOC): He likes 'em BIG!

 

Wonder Woman (OOC): And furry!

 

----------------

 

Hawkgirl (OOC): Sure, Ill watch the movie with Flash and Power Girl.

 

Flash (OOC) *Mimes kicking back on the couch with an arm around each of the girls*:....He doesnt know what movie it is

 

-------------

 

An energy wave hits the Watchtower

 

Flash: My popcorn!

 

Power Girl: Whats the problem? You can pick it all up before the 10 second rule!

 

--------------

 

On Themyscera, the newly-awakened Circe has freed Echidna, Mother of All Monsters. Echidna slithers up out of the tunnel, flanked by the legendary Chimera and Manticore.

 

Hawk Girl: Huh. I didnt know you Earthers did this kind of genetic manipulation!

 

-----------

 

Echidna: Ahhhh! After all these centuries! Fresh air!

 

Wonder Woman: *glares* Dont get used to it.

 

-----------

 

Hawk Girl: *One-punches Manticore with her Nth Metal mace*

 

Echidna: My baby! *Wigs smooth out*

 

Power Girl: Ewwww! Snake breath!

 

------------

 

Power Girl: Oh no! Mommy needs a big hug! *Grabs Chimera and SLAMS it into Echidna for hideous damage!*

 

--------------

 

GM: Ares calls down lightning, and-

 

Hawk Girl (OOC): Arent we underground?

 

GM: Ares calls down lightning, and the ceiling cracks as the lightning seeks YOU! *Rolls* He rolls a natural 20!

 

Hawk Girl: Uh-oh. *Rolls* I roll a natural 20 to resist!

 

Hawkgirl catches the lightning bolt on the haft of her mace, being driven to one knee. But she isnt hurt, other than a few singed feathers, and she has REALLY "big hair"

 

-----------

 

Power Girl (OOC): I do an All-Out Power Attack Slam Coup-de-Grace!

 

GM: Overachiever! ;P

Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

A few from last night's Champions game, set in Chicago:

 

Sentinel decides to finally tell her fiance about her being a superheroine.

 

Sentinel (OOC): I'll take him out to dinner, saying we're celebrating buying the house.

GM: You're gonna tell him in a busy restaurant?! (Imitates Frank) "You're SENTINEL?!?!"

Sentinel: Hey, Serendipity, your bar has a private dining room for small parties, doesn't it? Mind if I borrow it?

 

After dinner is done:

 

Sentinel: Before we get married, though, there's something else you need to know... (begins unbuttoning her top to reveal her Sentinel costume underneath)

Frank: Kinky! I like it! Say, you don't have a Serendipity costume, too, do you? She's hot!

 

The players are discussing how Frank might react to this, and some speculate that he's going to reveal to her that he's a VIPER agent, or the local Nest Leader (Magnetite), or some other villain. This of course turns into a short gag reel.

 

GM (imitating Frank): Honey, there's something I have to tell you. Y'see, I just went with the name "Frank" because it's pretty close to "Freddy"...

Sentinel: No way! If he's actually Foxbat, THE WEDDING IS OFF!!!

 

 

I know I've told this one before, but this reminds me too much of a similar scene we had in our campaign, where the GM borrowed liberally from both the DC and Marvel universes. The catch was that aging occurred normally, so Batman was now old and retired, and a young budding engineer had been chosen to put on the mantle (think Batman Beyond down to the power suit and flying Batmobile).

 

The new Batman was a NPC in the game that the group interacted with in his secret ID. The psychic in our group (Seer, played by my wife) was dating him and decided she needed to come clean before things got too serious. Unbeknowest to her, he was thinking the same thing.

 

So, on an evening walk out in the park, Seer says to him, "Before we go any further, there's something I need to tell you."

 

B-boy interrupts, "So do I." He presses a catch on his belt and the Batmobile comes floating down next to them.

 

One of the other players, OOC: "You stole Batman's plane?" :eek:

 

It stopped the game for about a minute.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The heroes are leading a landing party into a thick jungle, and are trying to prepare for any contingency.

 

Gemini: "Okay, everyone needs to stick close so we don't lose anybody."

 

GM: "Well since none of you are colorblind, you don't have to worry because their red uniforms stand out pretty well against the lush green foliage."

 

Viceroy: "You mean we have an entire landing party dressed in red uniforms? This does not bode well..."

 

 

Of course the group gets separated, and later Viceroy is trying to avoid being eaten by a creature that resembles an armor-plated T Rex, which has already killed two of the red-shirted crewmembers. Kateomi shows up at the last moment and kills the monster with a rocket laucher, splattering dinosaur-gore over everything.

 

Viceroy [dripping dino guts]: "Gee Kateomi, thanks. I think."

Kateomi: "What? Aren't you glad to see me?"

Viceroy: "Flowers would have been more romantic."

Kateomi: "But this was more practical. Besides, nothing says 'I care' like the judicious application of high power explosives."

Viceroy: "Well I certainly saw fireworks. And now I am all hot, wet, and sticky.'

Kateomi: "So it was good for you too?"

Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From my Wyldstryke Universe campaign

 

Brickhouse and Crush, two female "brick" type characters are having sort of a girls night out and talking at a bar, trading stories.

 

Crush: You know what really sucks about having superhuman strength? Getting used to the fact that every geek in the area with a seismograph knows when you get lucky. There's even slang for it. "Bed Quakes".

Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From my Wyldstryke Universe campaign

 

Brickhouse and Crush, two female "brick" type characters are having sort of a girls night out and talking at a bar, trading stories.

 

Crush: You know what really sucks about having superhuman strength? Getting used to the fact that every geek in the area with a seismograph knows when you get lucky. There's even slang for it. "Bed Quakes".

 

:rofl:That's. Just. WRONG!!!!

 

I love it!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Sounds dangerous for the other person...

 

 

You know you're in trouble when your girlfriend's gynaecologist has to use hydraulic equipment. Hopefully you can bench a couple tons yourself or else the sex life is going to be a little awkward.

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

 

You know you're in trouble when your girlfriend's gynaecologist has to use hydraulic equipment. Hopefully you can bench a couple tons yourself or else the sex life is going to be a little awkward.

 

 

 

about as tricky as collecting cells for a Pap smear, from somebody with invulnerable skin....

 

of course, if they have regen, their hymen would constantly regenerate too - 'The Eternal Virgin'

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...