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Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

One of my friends is running a Swords and Sandals, 1980's B-Movie fantasy game. The PCs are:

 

Talik Kael - Hawk Knight. (Heroic, dashing, not used to being the Straight Man)

 

Hakkar - Ex Gladiator, member of a race thats 7 feet tall and has four arms

 

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GM: So you dismiss last night's dancing girl "conquests"...

 

Hakkar (Half OOC): I do not merely dismiss them! I allow them to recover, and contemplate a life full of lesser men!

 

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The characters are about to camp in the desert, where Hakkar's people live.

 

Hakkar: And remember, my friend; no matter how shapely the cactus looks while you are drunk, you must shave it before mounting!

 

Talik: :nonp:

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Talik and Hakkar are ambushed by a Giant Scorpion.

 

Talik: *Spurs his Riding Raptor and shoots the scorpion to very little effect*

 

Hakkar: *Rushes the monster weilding two heavy scimitars and two shortswords*

 

Talik: *Looks around* There are three more of these things, you know!

 

Hakkar: Im sure there are thousands, scattered across the desert!

 

Talik: I meant HERE!

 

Hakkar:...I was NOT aware of that!

 

--------------

 

Hakkar (OOC): *Handing the GM a miniature and commenting on its size class*: Its a bit small for Large...thats a sentence thats going to come back to haunt me :help:

 

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Cultist: The power of the mighty God Vaenar flows through me!

 

Hakkar: ...Is it sticky?

 

Talik: It will be! *Stabnation!*

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

More commonly referred to as "Cannon Fodder."

 

Personally, I like the term "Renewable Ablative Armor" myself. Once they're used up, you just find new friends. :D

 

Definition: Chum, noun: Your best friend cut into chunks and thrown in the water to attract sharks.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The Skull: A vigilante with a cybernetic arm and leg; quite strong, but not too bright; uses a sledgehammer and ranged weapons built into his arm.

Ronin: A martial artist with the ability to manipulate darkness/darkforce.

 

Ronin: Are you able to pick locks?

The Skull: Yes. With my sledgehammer (he has approriate skills, but he prefers the "sledgehammer in the door" style of play :)).

 

GM: You have found the map of this facility. You have to go through 20 levels.

Ronin (OOC): Mario Bros.!

The Skull (OOC): We have to find pipes!

 

The Skull: How are we supposed to end the end of the world?

Ronin (OOC): Maybe we could remove the hole in the reality with HoleAway?

 

Ronin: What doesn't belong to the reality? Alternate dimensions?

N. (NPC): No, they are the part of it.

The Skull: Maybe my mind?

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Saturday's DnD 4th edition. The cast of characters...

 

Baron Shadowdeath, Eladrin Wizard

Rangrin, Human Artificer

Ciaphas, Human Fighter

Jett, Gensai Swordmage

Atolucus, Human Rogue

Aleric, Human Paladin

Silver, Elven Ranger

Torm, Dragonborn Cleric

 

At game start, we were in town, doing projects and buying stuff...

GM: Rangrim, give me *nine* intelligence rolls.

Aleric: What is he doing?

Rangrim: I'm making a new item.

Aleric: Is it safe to be in this county?

Silver: Is it safe to be on this continent?

Torm: Is it safe to be on this plane?

 

Teasing one of the players...

Torm: Now we're being cruel.

Silver: It's just Ciaphas.

 

Traveling to a new land...

Ciaphas: We're going to the mine in Feces.

Torm: I'm sure it's not pronounced like that.

Ciaphas: The country is called Feces, or Fascist, or something.

GM: Feskes!

 

Torm: Put the horse on the back of the carpet, just in case.

Ciaphas: My horse is trained.

Aleric: Carpet trained?

 

Describing a victim of Silver's arrow assault

Torm: Hit by so many arrows, the body doesn't touch the ground.

 

Silver confused

Silver: I just know I heard what I saw.

 

New magic item...

GM: I will deal with the physics of the magic regenerating sandwich later.

 

We find impaled bodies

Rangrin: I guess they got the point.

 

Battle with undead

GM: The scarecrow siphons your soul.

Torm: Well, that sucks.

 

The Paladin, Fighter, Swordmage, and Cleric lead the charge

Aleric: Go Team Tank!

 

Silver: Is he undead or demon?

GM: He's more undead than you can imagine.

Silver: Oh, good. (he meant it, too)

 

Autolucus: (ooc)If I kill Ciaphas, is he worth 2000xp?

 

Silver: I fire 800 arrows at his face!

Torm: That will leave a mark.

 

GM: He's bloodied, Aleric's turn.

Aleric: But wait, there's more!

 

Jett: He takes 22 force damage.

Torm: Evil Jedi!

Aleric: Get a darkside point.

 

GM describes the terrain

GM: There's a kidney you could try to hide behind.

 

Silver senses something

Silver: There could be an earthquake soon.

Ciaphas: How soon?

Torm: Eight, seven, six...

 

GM: I'm sure that someday the dwarves will forgive you.

 

Atolucus: I'll stab you in the eye!

Ciaphas: I can survive that.

Aleric: Try both.

 

Ciaphas: I know you can't just pull magic items off the trees. I've tried it.

 

Ciaphas: They always attack me instead of the horse.

Torm: So, you're the horse's armor.

Rangrin: At least he has some use.

Aleric: Yes, he's the driver.

Rangrim: It's like the horse is his familiar.

Aleric: Yes, he's very familiar with his horse.

Torm: Animal Husbandry?

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Collected from a short (6 adventure) campaign centered around medium-power heros in a White Wolf / World of Darkness-esque Washington, DC.

 

GM: "Yes Pete, you probably can trade your soul for a new crossbow. Don't tempt me."

 

Player 1: "I don't know how to SCUBA."

Player 2: "All you have to do is breathe and let the shark drag you."

 

Player: "I don't want to let [the chained up werewolf] go. Oh, what the hell - I'm a dragon."

 

OOC: "Remember to buy your chainsaw with Darkness to Sound."

 

GM: "He's a demon lord."

Player 1: "Any weaknesses?"

Player 2: "Lactose intolerant."

Player 3: "We throw cows at him."

 

"I can find out if she's normal. [To the GM] What's her DCV?"

 

Player 1: "There's no down side to stealing evil demonic artifacts!"

Player 2: "Says the corpse on the floor."

 

Player with prehensile tongue: "I taste the Force Field... it's evil!"

 

Player 1: "Why does it suck to live in DC?"

Player 2: "It's all the demons."

Player 3: "Are we still talking in-game?"

 

 

And, of course, character concepts that didn't make it:

 

An assassin with Aid powers that only work on vampires: Slayer the Vampire Buffer.

 

An undead creture of the night who kills his victims with a floor polisher: Vampy the Buffer Slayer.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Saturday's DnD 4th edition. The cast of characters...

 

Baron Shadowdeath, Eladrin Wizard

Rangrin, Human Artificer

Ciaphas, Human Fighter

Jett, Gensai Swordmage

Atolucus, Human Rogue

Aleric, Human Paladin

Silver, Elven Ranger

Torm, Dragonborn Cleric

 

That is quite an ensemble! 8 players?

 

Doc

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

"okay now just line up behind them and pound away till they're gone"

 

 

Star Fleet Battles, referring to a downed Aft Shield

 

Which reminds me of the most suggestive line uttered by a character in Star Wars:

 

"Pull out, Wedge! You're not doing any good back there!"

 

:D

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

"okay now just line up behind them and pound away till they're gone"

 

 

Star Fleet Battles, referring to a downed Aft Shield

 

 

If it was a Klingon, that could be really dangerous facing the aft 'phaser hose'.

 

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

If it was a Klingon' date=' that could be really dangerous facing the aft 'phaser hose'.

[/quote']

 

 

 

Only in the row of hexes extending directly behind the ship. The #4 shield can be hit by a ship "offline" of that hex row.

 

 

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Another one from Dylan.

 

The group has encountered another group of survivors mostly composed of teenagers and children. One of the younger members committed on Dylan's baby bump apparently not buying the story there was a baby in there and that it was more likely she had to burp really bad. This resulted in Dylan experiencing a bit of a hormonal freak out and drawing some odd conclusions.

 

Bill: OK...that was weird. Bill was used to being the one who frightened children. He turned and trotted after Dylan, catching her in the room they shared. He laid a gentle hand on her shoulder and said, "Something you want to talk about?"

 

Dylan had her arms around her stomach protectively, but stayed turned away from Bill. "What if she's right? What if there's not a baby? What if...what if...well I've had these dreams that I'm...I'm just getting fat, or that I go to have the baby and it's dead..."

 

Bill: "Honey, the baby's fine," Bill told her, laying a hand over her growing belly. "And you're fine. And we could all stand to get a little fatter than we are, but there's a beautiful baby inside you regardless."

 

 

Dylan: "What...what if that kid's like...psychic or something. And she ~knows~ there isn't a baby?"

 

Bill frowned. For once, the expression on his face was completely readable: that was a **** of a goofy thing to say. But when he spoke, his experience with pregnant women and their anxieties showed. His voice was soothing and calm as he said, "Honey, I really don't think the little girl is psychic. I think she doesn't know where babies come from."

 

For the record, she didn't know and was not psychic. She thought you found babies in the bushes because when the older members of their impromptu tribe went looking for a private place to make out and she asked what they were doing her older sister sarcastically told her "lookin' to get a baby..."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

GM describes the terrain

GM: There's a kidney you could try to hide behind.

So *that's* how Jack did it!

 

"Nothing to see here, just a severed kidney wandering through Whitechapel, pay no attention to the blood-soaked man behind it...."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

It's become very hard to find 'casual' SFB players. The couple I know are really hardcore about it' date=' and no fun at all to play against anymore. :([/quote']

 

I have a sunday group, we alternate between SFB and Federation Commander.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Used to play SFB a lot, as did a number of friends. I dropped out just after Commander's Rulebook V1 for several reasons. Mainly because it became a classic example of 'Squad Leader Syndrome - so many rules that it became less about playing the game and mostly about which rules people could remember, and how well, and where they were in the book.

 

HATED the add-on ECM/ECCM rules, especially when they became standard. I think that is another reason I finally lost interest. That, and the publisher's frequent practice of promising they would NOT do certain things, then going ahead and doing it.

 

Fond memories regardless. Particularly liked the X-Technology rules - I was the group's resident X-Tech buff. Did a 1st-Gen X-Tech conversion (official rules - at the time!) of the Federation's Galactic Survey Cruiser design ("cut-down" variant of the Heavy Cruiser, optimized for exploration). By ghod, the USS Bonaventure was an elegant ship.

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