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Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


Darren Watts

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

In my Vigilance Teen Champions game, one of the heroes is bonded to an alien stellar parasite that has no concept of human relationships. Currrently, he is doing a sleep study for the school science fair, so the creature is exceptionally active, and comes to talk to him in his dreams. The creature typically assumes the form of Rufus Doherty, the vice principal, a 6'4" black man who is rather heavy, and weighs about 320-350 pounds.

 

Creature: You are troubled.

 

Saiphe: Could you please assume another form?

 

Creature: As you wish. Perhaps this would be more pleasing? (Creature turns into his girlfriend, stark naked.)

 

Saiphe: Uhh, not so distracting. Could you put some clothes on?

 

Creature: (Puts his girlfriend in a bikini) As you wish.

 

Saiphe: Still too distracting.

 

Creature: As you wish. (Turns back into the vice principal, still in the bikini.)

 

Saiphe: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

 

So, after his mental tutorial lesson, he goes to school the next day. Several of the other characters are waiting for him.

 

Brendan (In Secret ID): I had a horrible dream last night.

 

Selene: What was it?

 

Brendan: I don't want to talk about it.

 

Sarah: Oh, please. Come on, you have to talk about it, get it off your chest.

 

Brendan: Really, it's that bad.

 

Selene: You really do look awful.

 

Sarah: Please, you have to. Now I'm curious, and that's not good.

 

Brendan: Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you. I had a nightmare about Rufus Doherty. In a bikini.

 

Selene: Oh, my GOD. Brendan, are you secretly gay?

 

Sarah: I think I'm gonna be sick.

 

(At this point, the dark vigilante character in secret ID, prepared for everything, walks by with a barf bag. Sarah slips aside and uses it.)

 

---------------------------------------------------------

 

Later, in the girls room, where Selene has taken Sarah to clean up and dispose of the barf bag, they run into Marsha, the head of the cheerleading squad. A similar conversation ensues.

 

Marsha: Do you have another one of those?

 

Sarah: No. (Washing her mouth out)

 

Selene: We warned you.

 

Tiffany, Sarah's DNPC and future head of the cheerleading squad enters as Marsha is running for one of the stalls.

 

Tiffany: Hi, everybody! Sarah, are you okay?

 

Sarah: Uhmmm...no.

 

Tiffany: That's terrible. Are you sick?

 

Sarah: You'll be sick too if you hear it. (Sounds of Marsha throwing up from inside one of the stalls.)

 

Tiffany: What is it?

 

Sarah: Brendan had a dream about Rufus in a bikini!

 

Tiffany: Ohmigod! (Covers her mouth, makes a small awping noise.) Do you think he's gay? (Tiffany is a lesbian, but also not too bright)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Edge City 3D - Californian supers causing cultural damage across a dozen dimensions

 

Trawler
: He of the cast-iron codpiece

Terminus
: Worryingly impressed by the enemy's firearms

Miss Chaos
: Socialite & PRIMUS agent

Avatar
: Asexual product of solar fission

Stentorian
: Mouth on legs

Zero
: Bait. It's in the team charter

 

not many quotes this week - most of the session was combat, as opposed to snark.

 

Miss Chaos
: Which ones are the civilians?

Zero
: Probably the ones running around screaming "My LP collection! NOOOOOO!"

 

Terminus
: "Throwing a tree at them was a pretty-much international 'go away' message"

Weldun, GM
: A universal "Leave me ALOOONE"

 

Zero
: "I don't recall anything in the team charter about me being used as target practice"
:mad:

 

NPC
: You helped us just because someone asked??

Zero
: *
embarrassed
*
:rolleyes:
Yeah... We've all got these heroic tendencies - we're tried to get treatment for it but we don't have good health insurance

 

Weldun, GM
: Terminus, you wake up to find an Amerindian woman with glowing hands on your chest.

Zero
OOC
: Am I going to have to make some comment when she comes around to heal my groin injury?

Weldun, GM
: No. You wake up with a giant python's head hovering over your navel

Zero
: WHAAA!!!!!!!
:eek:

 

Zero
: Dogboys?

Weldun, GM
: Engineered psyhunters - fanatically loyal.

Zero
: Gee, no 'perverting the natural order' there

Stentorian
: I'd like to take Hypocrisy, for 2000pts, please Bob.

 

On 2pts OAF Flash Defence, with equipment multiplier - for 51pts, you get 1024 pairs of sunglasses

 

*sunglasses get smashed*

*whips out a new pair*

*those get smashed*

*whips out third pair*

"What? Give me those... "*
smash
*

*whips out fourth pair*

"How many of those do you have?"

"Don't ask"

"What if you run out?"

"... I hear the words, but they make no sense to me."

 

Weldun, GM
: It would have to be a power for Teen Champions.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

DnD 4th edition.

Cast

Justin, Human Fighter

Scrag, Half Orc Barbarian

Ciaphas, Human Fighter

Rangrim, Eladrin Artificer

Atolucus, Half Elf Rogue

Aleric, Human Paladin

Torm, Dragonborn Cleric

Shadowdeath, Eladrin Wizard

 

I left out the Inevitable jokes last week... Inevitables are mechanical creations of the elemental plane of Law, used to punish those who violate natural laws. The GM has been threatening us with them for alignment violations.

 

Ciaphas: I take the orphans into my army.

Aleric: No, they're going into my orphanage.

GM: Sweatshops?

Torm: Shhhh.

 

We head for the Battle Tower.

GM: The tower is made of skulls.

Rangrim: Skull Tower...

Ciaphas: I thought it was the Battle Tower.

GM: Call it what you want.

Torm: "Fred". I shall call it "Fred".

Rangrim: Who designed this place?

Torm: Torquemada.

Atolucos: Don't knock Torquemada. He did some good things.

 

Describing the guards on the tower.

GM: He's got a sword bigger than he is.

Justin: Compensating for something?

Aleric: Says the man with a pole arm.

 

NPC Orc Warrior to Scrag: You're only half a man.

Rangrim: And half a orc!

Atolucos: Surrender or Die!

NPC: I don't know what that word means.

Aleric: It means you stop breathing.

Torm: And we bury you.

 

Atolucos fights a duel...

Aleric: If you die, I will avenge you!

Scrag: If you die, I will go home.

 

Shadowdeath ponders a course of action...

"Can I have a look at the handbook, I need to check my alignment."

 

GM: I need more D6's.

Torm: Not a good sign.

 

Rangrim: Everything I have works off my intelligence.

Aleric: You can't keep giving me straight lines.

 

A villian attempts to touch Aleric...

Aleric: I'll cut your hand off!

GM: With a pick?

Torm: It'll take a while.

Aleric: And it'll hurt.

 

Ciaphas finds a body...

Ciaphas: I know her.

Torm: Biblically?

Ciaphas: NO!

Aleric: If she's still warm, now's your chance.

GM: Inevitables!

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

On 2pts OAF Flash Defence' date=' with equipment multiplier - for 51pts, you get 1024 pairs of sunglasses[indent']*sunglasses get smashed*

*whips out a new pair*

*those get smashed*

*whips out third pair*

"What? Give me those... "*smash*

*whips out fourth pair*

"How many of those do you have?"

"Don't ask"

"What if you run out?"

"... I hear the words, but they make no sense to me."

 

Weldun, GM : It would have to be a power for Teen Champions.[/indent]

We later realized that it would probably be better calling it 2pts Flash Defence (Sight Group), Inherent (+¼). 2pts Active, 2pts Real. If you take the sunglasses off of the character, they INSTANTLY whip out another pair and put them on.
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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Long time no quote.. a bunch from the last couple of sessions of the Defenders. I don't even remember context for some of them.

 

Enigma: Only because I was out of ammo. Damn you Calamity Jane, damn you!

 

The campaign world had a major event in 2001 - all the superheroes then present died.

(someone): Did anything important happen in 2001?

 

Built To Last (To Promethean): I say we tie your hands behind your back, feed you a bunch of alkaseltzer so that you foam at the mouth. . .

 

Enigma (on the nature of magic): Coming back from Faery is like wearing Disney Ears.

 

GM: He's actually going to do something smart.

Built To Last: This is gonna suck, I'm gonna be a dog again.

 

A battle in the park, the enemy is wearing white, as does Enigma, an errant shot manages to knock all of the melee combatants into the fountain - all of them women it happens.

Enigma (OOC): If the fountain water were made of jello - the battle would be made of awesome.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

We later realized that it would probably be better calling it 2pts Flash Defence (Sight Group)' date=' Inherent (+¼). 2pts Active, 2pts Real. If you take the sunglasses off of the character, they INSTANTLY whip out another pair and put them on.[/quote']

 

I remember a PC that ought to had that. "2c" (pronouced "Toook" like the hat. Short for "2c Ool 2 Die"). Shadowrun type DC campaign. She wore sunglasses all the time, and they kept getting smashed. Which she always complained over. Yeah, she needed "Perpetual Sunglasses". :sneaky:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From my gaming group, but not from a game. It was at a BBQ

 

Teh Bunneh: When you're doing CPR you're supposed to do chest compressions at one-hundred beats per minute; that's the same tempo as "Another One Bites the Dust."

Lonewalker: Just don't sing along.

Everybody (mimics trying to revive an unconscious body) Singing: "Dud duh duh, and another one bites the dust..."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From my gaming group, but not from a game. It was at a BBQ

 

Teh Bunneh: When you're doing CPR you're supposed to do chest compressions at one-hundred beats per minute; that's the same tempo as "Another One Bites the Dust."

Lonewalker: Just don't sing along.

Everybody (mimics trying to revive an unconscious body) Singing: "Dud duh duh, and another one bites the dust..."

 

Staying Alive works too, and has a more consistent theme

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UNMAR Chronicles: "The Perfect Heist"

 

The PCs are an official UN team. They are trying to locate four villains who robbed a diamond mine: Devastator, Icicle, Ogre and Pulsar.

 

Cast of characthers...

Hoss (NPC): UN liaison for the Johannesburg station; practically the caricature of the stereotypical Texan

John Henry: density/gravity brick

Kooun Kaze: gravity energy projector

 

John Henry is unable to swim. Furthermore, he has the PhysLim: sinks like a rock.

Kooun Kaze (ooc): If we get him going fast enough and spin him fast enough he might skip a few times before he sinks.

 

The team lands in Kanye, Botswana, where the villaims are believed to be hiding. As the team disembarks the plane....

Kooun Kaze: "Hoss, do you want to come along with us?"

Hoss: "Ah'd love to , but Ah'd be more useful stayin' here." (pause) "That's not true. Ah expect y'all to screw up, and Ah'd rather not be in the middle of it."

Kooun Kaze: (in an offended tone) "How long has it been since I screwed up?"

Hoss: "D'ya want that in hours or minutes?"

 

Needing no explanation...

John Henry (ooc): I'm glad I have more than 3 points in English, just so I can understand Hoss.

 

The team is aware that Ogre is one of the perps.

Kooun Kaze: "I have no problem getting into a punching match with Ogre ... from a safe distance."

 

Kooun Kaze hit Ogre with a double-knockback attack sending him flying into a wall. The following phase, John Henry hit Ogre with a double-knockback attack, sending him flying through the wall.

Kooun Kaze: (to John Henry) "You win the Ogre tossing competition."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Trying to remember quotes from the Champions game two weeks ago.

 

A cop with a chip on his shoulder is harassing Styx.

Cop: Okay, you're coming down to the station with me!

Styx: Sure! (Picks up the police car)

Cop: HEY! PUT MY CAR DOWN!

Styx drops the car from a height of about 6 feet. Needless to say, this doesn't do wonders to the car.

Styx: Need a lift?

 

Serendipity stops a trio of VIPER agents breaking into a bank vault after hours. One of the agents is about to shoot her with a Brickbuster Mk. II (instead of a 15d6 EB, it's a 5d6 RKA), and another agent knocks his weapon to keep Serendipity from getting hit. She KO's the other two agents and then the one who saved her surrenders. She questions him about why:

 

VIPER: Magnetite gave orders that you were to be captured only, not harmed.

Serendipity: Just me, or all of S-Squad?

VIPER: Only you. For some of your teammates, the orders are to "kill them, a lot."

 

Magnetite is kinda sweet on Serendipity, and thinks he can recruit her into VIPER. His agents know this.

 

VIPER (takes off his helmet and holds it out to her): Here, try this on.

Serendipity: Why would I do that?!

VIPER: The color matches your outfit. I'll bet you'd look cool.

 

Police sirens are approaching.

 

VIPER: So, since I saved you, you're gonna let me go, right?

Serendipity: Do you have any money?

VIPER (checking his pockets, dumbfounded): Um, I think I've got a twenty...

 

(To clarify, she just wanted to make sure he wasn't walking out with any of the bank's money. But the implication was amusing.)

 

Later on, the heroes get a call from teammate Synergy, who tells them that he's on the eastbound El train and needs their help. Subliminal teleports across town to see...

 

GM: Synergy is standing on top of the last car, and he's holding onto something with both hands, and you see them surrounded by the white-blue light of his energy attacks. He's surrounded by little robots that look like this (holds up a picture of spidery robots with long needles attacking a man). You see over a dozen of them.

Sentinel: What are those?

Subliminal: They're from the movie Runaway. They inject people with acid. (pause) It's a really dumb design.

 

Subliminal uses telepathy to mentally replay a recording Utility had left for Synergy.

 

Utility: "... Since I'm sure you're familiar with the movie Speed, I don't need to go into tedious detail. And to make it more interesting..." (the power cuts off to the third rail, so the train suddenly starts to slow) "There is a device atop the rear car that can convert your energy to power the train. To keep the train going over 40 mph, I estimate you'll need a continuous 1.2 megawatts of power..."

Subliminal: 1.2 megawatts! You've gotta be joking!

GM: Well, you didn't expect him to build an efficient design and make it easier for Synergy, did you?

 

Sentinel is riding in a police car, following the train from below while Serendipity gets onto the underside of the train to defuse the presumed explosive devices there. She also finds a trio of the spider robots there, and hits one of them with her Gremlins in the Gears power, causing it to lose its grip and fall... right into the path of the police car, which barely swerves out of the way just before the robot explodes.

 

Serendipity (over the radio): Look out, the robots explode!

Cop (angrily): Yeah, thanks for the heads-up on that!

 

Another robot is knocked off the train, extends wings, and begins gliding toward some people standing on the sidewalk. Styx jumps, grabs the 'bot in midair, yanks out the guts (including the explosive charge) and throws it up to explode harmlessly. He lands on the sidewalk and chucks the dead robot into a trash can, then turns to the people he just saved.

 

Styx: Gotta catch a train! (Leaps away)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Necessary backstory:

 

The heroes realized that the train thing was all a ruse to get them away from the south side of town. They heard PRIMUS radio traffic about an attack on a lab at the University of Illinois Chicago -- the lab where Synergy has been working with Portal (from PRIMUS' Response Force One, courtesy of Digital Hero -- check 'em out!) to design a long-range teleportation pad. If you don't know about RF1, Portal is an incredibly powerful teleporter, able to take a group of people almost anywhere on the planet in the blink of an eye.

 

Synergy: NOOOOOO!!! Not my lab!!!

 

Subliminal arrives to find Portal and a group of PRIMUS agents unconscious. The teleporter was obviously just used, and the hum of power from it is winding down.

 

Subliminal: I look at the equipment.

GM: (technobabble description of the teleportation equipment) ...and there's a metal box sitting on top of it with a red digital display. It reads 7... 6.... 5...

 

Subliminal grabs the explosives and teleports away. After it blows up, he teleports back to the lab to find Portal coming conscious. They try and use the teleport pad, but apparently Utility and friends have physically destroyed the receiving unit.

 

Subliminal: Where does this go?

Portal: The University of California Irvine.

(GM note: hey, if it was originating at UIC, it seemed only right to have it receive at UCI!)

Subliminal: Damn. It's gonna take me a bunch of teleports to get there. They'll be long gone by then.

Portal: Where's the rest of your team?

Subliminal: Across town. (Gives the cross streets) Say, can you get us to California?

Portal: Not a problem.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

A quote from our plane-hopping D&D (3.5) campaign.

 

The characters are seeking out an all-powerful archmage type who has disappeared. They find a fountain in the bathroom of one of his fortresses that grants a Wish spell once every century. They debate whether it's a good idea to use up his once a century wish.

 

Osborne (OOC?): "Oh please, one wish every 100 years? He craps better magic than that!"

 

In retrospect, the line was even funnier since we were in his bathroom...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From tonight's D&D session:

 

We've just cleared a room full of orcs and a duergar. One of the PCs (Tufty, played by Tufty McTavish) is a bard and jokes about lutes crop up:

 

Haskaan (Dragonborn warlock, Martin's PC) OOC: Do we find any loot in this room.

Drudin (Dwarf fighter, my PC) also OOC: No, but you find a mandolin.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Another robot is knocked off the train, extends wings, and begins gliding toward some people standing on the sidewalk. Styx jumps, grabs the 'bot in midair, yanks out the guts (including the explosive charge) and throws it up to explode harmlessly. He lands on the sidewalk and chucks the dead robot into a trash can, then turns to the people he just saved.

 

Styx: Gotta catch a train! (Leaps away)

 

Very nearly a crowning moment of awesome. Certainly an excellent display.

 

Also- nice twist on the Speed plot.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Upon arriving on a high gravity planet, the GM informs the players that their increased weight of their bodies will encumber them as though they were carrying an extra 30 kg of equipment.

 

Quinn: “You mean my body parts weigh an extra 30 kg?!? Dang, I am going to need to get an industrial strength athletic supporter.”

 

 

Later, the heroes are planning on how to get into a highly secure government building, and are favoring a subtle approach.

 

Viceroy: “I don’t have Bureaucratics, but I have Seduction. Didn’t you say that one of the security officers is female?”

GM: “Er... well, hermaphroditic technically, but most Vorth consider themselves female.”

Viceroy: “Hey, I’m an open-minded sort. Which alien species were the Vorth again?”

GM: “She is a humanoid lizard over 2m tall with mottled green scales, a heavy forked tail, and a half-meter long barbed tongue.”

Viceroy: “Okay I was with you until ‘barbed tongue’. That is going to make French kissing a little awkward.”

Kateomi: “You know, sometimes a girl just likes to cuddle.”

 

 

Later yet the heroes are trying to contact a Remian informant who has some vital information. The Remians are a wild, almost animalistic race that are double-jointed to the extent it is sometimes hard to tell whether you are approaching them from the front or back. Quinn rolls an 18 on his PER roll, and so approaches the wrong Remian.

 

Quinn: “Our mutual friend Roarce sent me. I think you have something I need.”

GM: “The Remian prostitute replies ‘Oh, I have anything you need lover.’ She whispers some suggestions in your ear that are almost certainly not legal and may not even be physically possible, at least for a human.”

Viceroy: “Hey, hey, hey!! How come he gets the hot nympho aliens and I get Amy Alligator, the Sleestaks’ ugly step-sister?!?”

Quinn: “I think I just ruptured my athletic supporter.”

Gemini: “And there, I believe, you have your answer.”

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

After two years, Vigilance finally breaks into the Principal's office. They find a bunch of information about him taking money to get rich kids into Ivy League schools.

 

The Night: We have to expose him.

 

Plastron: Yes, but we have to do this without implicating us.

 

Prestige: We need to make it look like a prank. Silver Sentinel?

 

Silver Sentinel: We need a good one then.

 

Plastron: Let's shut down the entire school's computer system and make it print "No detention without representation." Silver Sentinel, you do it. You're the only one of the hackers who can fit in the room!

 

Silver Sentinel: (In her cheesy, I'm pretending to be a mystic extradimensional alien voice) "Your wish is my command!"

 

They collect the evidence, turn it over to the police and newspapers, and go home to sleep.

 

So they do this. Remember the Vice Principal in the Bikini?

 

Well, sure enough the first page is Rufus Doherty, in the bikini, holding the American Flag, with "No Detention Without Representation!" written underneath.

 

Silver Sentinel gets a radio message.

 

Plastron: Sarah?

 

Sarah, hanging out outside of school, being social with her housemate: Yes?

 

Plastron: You're still on probation.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I don't know about my players, but I like this bit of colour from my vampire hunter game practice run:

 

Acheron (Dual-wielding nobleman) looks in the window of an inn that vampires are holed up in:

 

GM: The window looks a bit reddish.

 

GM: On the inside.

 

 

Acheron: "Bloodspray. Can't see through it."

 

Soor Choia (Mysterious, CG spellcaster): "Damn, Well only one course of action then"

 

GM: And then something mockingly knocks out 'shave and a haircut' on the window...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I don't know about my players, but I like this bit of colour from my vampire hunter game practice run:

 

Acheron (Dual-wielding nobleman) looks in the window of an inn that vampires are holed up in:

 

GM: The window looks a bit reddish.

 

GM: On the inside.

 

 

Acheron: "Bloodspray. Can't see through it."

 

Soor Choia (Mysterious, CG spellcaster): "Damn, Well only one course of action then"

 

GM: And then something mockingly knocks out 'shave and a haircut' on the window...

 

[CRASH!] TWO BITS!

 

Erm, sorry. Had a 'Roger Rabbit' moment there.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Witchhunter again:

 

Anne-Ellen (Who is still slightly naive and a professional freelance Entertainer ) is send to recruit a new member for the group whom she has already seen in her dreams. They meet at a dock where both Characters are mysteriously drawn to.

Enter: Rene Deveraux mild mannered Scholar ( and Hermetic Wizard).....

 

Anne-Ellen (quite loudly): You ! I have seen you in my dreams........

Rene (Who had similiar dreams, and recognized her): Madame, please.....(whispering) Not here!

 

Listening Sailors and Fishermen: :eg::doi:

 

Anne-Ellen: But I have seen you really! In my Dreams!

Rene slowly backing away: In your dreams mademoiselle sure.....

Anne-Ellen: But I really ......

Rene turns around and walks away.

 

The Witchhunters finally asemble and start talking, introducing each other:

 

Anne-Ellen: You might call me by my nome de guerre: Asmodee.....

Every Witchhunter in the room: :bmk::bmk::bmk::bmk:

 

(She survived.)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Witchhunter again:

 

Anne-Ellen (Who is still slightly naive and a professional freelance Entertainer ) is send to recruit a new member for the group whom she has already seen in her dreams. They meet at a dock where both Characters are mysteriously drawn to.

Enter: Rene Deveraux mild mannered Scholar ( and Hermetic Wizard).....

 

Anne-Ellen (quite loudly): You ! I have seen you in my dreams........

Rene (Who had similiar dreams, and recognized her): Madame, please.....(whispering) Not here!

 

Listening Sailors and Fishermen: :eg::doi:

 

Anne-Ellen: But I have seen you really! In my Dreams!

Rene slowly backing away: In your dreams mademoiselle sure.....

Anne-Ellen: But I really ......

Rene turns around and walks away.

 

The Witchhunters finally asemble and start talking, introducing each other:

 

Anne-Ellen: You might call me by my nome de guerre: Asmodee.....

Every Witchhunter in the room: :bmk::bmk::bmk::bmk:

 

(She survived.)

Hm...I'm missing something here. Why did they shoot her?

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