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Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


Darren Watts
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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

 

(yes, sacrifice of sentient lifeforms was a major feature and expected religious practice of the setting )

 

Isn't it always when you're involved?

 

Lucius Alexander

 

Calling upon the God of Palindromedaries

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Isn't it always when you're involved?

 

Lucius Alexander

 

Calling upon the God of Palindromedaries

Not Always. I think that there was ONE time that it didn't at least. I think it was his Traveller game. Oh, no. Wait, I forgot how my Vargr captain had to christen his ship. Never mind.:P
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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I would' date=' but he keeps putting out great quotes and I hit him too recently already. Sorry.[/quote']

 

Me too! Dang, why can't we give Rep to those who deserve it? Why this 'spread the Rep'? Dang Stinkin' Commies!

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Isn't it always when you're involved?

 

Actually, Vitus wasn't involved in that campaign. We did manage to wipe out a meeting of a dozen non-human races that turned out to be a vital peace conference tho.

 

Whoops. :eek:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

haven't figured out how to spoiler' date=' so if I need to remove this I will.[/quote']

 

If you put these parentheses: [] around the word "spoiler" at the front of your spoiler, and the same [] around "/spoiler" at the end, you will have the right result.

 

So:

 

 

[spoilerSPOT]This information would be in a Spoiler Box if you apply SPOT remover.[/spoilerSPOT]

 

and you can even put a spoiler in a spoiler

 

 

 

Another tidbit - if you quote a post using the effect you want, you can see all the little formatting bits. But you can also read the spoiler...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

D&D 4th:

 

The party is attacked by a giant spider that jumps around nearly landing on our gnome wizard NPC:

 

Berrian (NPC)(OOC): Suddenly the gnome smells like urine.

 

The party encounter's a madman who speaks in rhyme and spouts prophecy:

 

Alix: (ooc) I'm going to have to figure out how to work "orange" into this conversation.

 

Nutter: Don't be late, hear your fate.

Stoneshanks: On a plate

Rody: On a first date

Alix: With your mate

Clio: Gaaaaah. It's catchy

 

Members of the party discuss prophecies that have been placed on them.

Alix (Catwoman Shifter Druid): How can you tell your prophecy is coming true?

Clio (Teifling Paladin): I'm the ninth daughter of a ninth daughter, that's pretty rare.

Alix: Not if you're from a species that has litters.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I wasn't in town for our D&D game two Sundays ago, but I was told of one incident of note. The town was having a festival, and the heroes were finding ways to get involved in the festivities.

 

Leila (female druid): Well, I can give pony rides to anyone that wants one.

 

At this, every male player started raising hands and leering...

 

- - - - - - - - - -

 

On to last night's Champions game. I backtracked and ran one player through a solo bit; Synergy (in secret ID as Ryan) is in Hawaii with his girlfriend and are at the marina when the ships and boats around them are attacked by... the Castoffs! (Special thanks to Bob Greenwade for creating this group; in order from the song: Redball, Cap'n Shanty, Mister Midas, Lovebird, Starlet, Professor Makeshift, and Farmgirl. Find a post of his and rep him!)

 

Cap'n Shanty: All right, let's rescue these people!

(The Castoffs then begin attacking and sinking various boats.)

Styx (OOC): Did he say "rescue"?

 

Synergy (OOC): Is there a hero group in Hawaii?

GM: Y'know, I never put one there. There should be. Who could be in it?

Subliminal (OOC): You could have the Big Kahuna...

Styx (OOC): Or King Kamayamaya...

 

Ryan grabs a diving mask from the deck and dives overboard, then zips over to the action, where he surfaces and blasts Cap'n Shanty backward.

Cap'n Shanty: Who the heck are you?!

Synergy: I am... the Marinator!

Cap'n Shanty: (Fails his INT roll) Didn't I beat you last time we fought?

 

Redball: Cap'n Shanty! (Speeds over and helps him up, then gets in his way trying to dust him off. Cap'n Shanty starts protesting and slapping Redball's hands away.)

Subliminal (OOC): Look out, you don't want to get hit by his hat!

 

After some other comments from other players, Synergy's player finally lets on that he knows who his opponents are homages to. Professor Makeshift fired his cobbled-together hand cannon at a ship, putting three large holes in the waterline.

 

Synergy: I knew coconuts had to come into this somewhere.

 

Eventually, Synergy woke from his dream and vowed never again to fall asleep watching a Gilligan's Island marathon on Nick at Nite.

 

- - - - - - - - - -

 

Back to the present. The heroes teleported to California to take on Utility and the members of ADEPT (a technology-stealing group). It's an uneasy alliance, since Utility and ADEPT have fought heatedly in the past. Styx quickly stuns Utility with a surprise move-through, then pounds him unconscious. Meanwhile, ROVer calls on two of his robotic dogs, a Pit Bull and an Airedale.

 

ROVer: Gunner! Sir Fuzzalot! Go get 'em!

Sentinel: Sir Fuzzalot?!

GM: Well, I had my kids help me name his dogs...

 

Serendipity causes a glitch that blinds Gunner the pit bull, then Styx hops over and waves the unconscious Utility in front of the dog until it clamps onto Utility's groin with its hydraulic jaws. Sentinel then uses some hard radiation to disable ROVer's radio control of the dog. Remember, Utility and ADEPT don't get along so well...

 

ROVer: (Shouting across the battlefield) Gunner! What are ye doin'? I'm tellin' ye (covers his mouth and mumbles) let go of Utility. (Back to yelling) Sorry, lad, ah tried!

 

One of the members of ADEPT is Dr. Discus (created by another friend, Bill Jackson) , a rather eccentric scientist who continuously talks up his Universal Discal Constant Theory, to the obvious aggravation of Subliminal's player. Dr. Discus also has amazing luck of the dice, almost always rolling low on to-hits and high on damage (which Discus talks up as proof that his theory is correct).

 

Subliminal: (places a large die on the battlemap, in front of Dr. Discus) I create an Image of a large cube, and it says: Behold! The greatness of The Cube! So much better than the Disc!

Dr. Discus: WHAT?!?! The Disc is *clearly* superior to the cube!

 

ROVer flies over to talk to his teammate.

 

ROVer: Don't ye think ye should get back to fightin', boyo? You're arguing with a bloody cube!

 

Subliminal tries to mind control ROVer to talk up the superiority of the Cube but rolls badly.

 

Subliminal: Dang. Well, maybe it's something ROVer wouldn't mind doing...

GM: Well, he *is* Irish. He gets a devilish twinkle in his eye...

ROVer: Y'know, mate, ye never do see round pubs! They *are* always squarish buildings.

 

A bit later:

 

ROVer: And it seems to me square tankards would give ye even more beer, what wi' the corners an' all!

(Serendipity, who in secret ID runs an Irish pub in Chicago, begins making notes to look into square tankards for Callaghan's.)

 

The heroes finally KO Dr. Discus, who had flown away from the rooftop and was about four stories above the ground.

 

GM: He begins spiralling down...

(A brief discussion follows on whether Discus falls in a spiral, or with square corners, or perhaps in a triangular pattern)

GM: He smashes into the sidewalk, sending him further unconscious.

Subliminal: Ha! It's a square section of concrete, isn't it?

Dr. Discus (raises his head briefly): But craters are circular... (passes back out)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

ROVer: Gunner! Sir Fuzzalot! Go get 'em!

Sentinel: Sir Fuzzalot?!

GM: Well, I had my kids help me name his dogs...

 

Kids come up with the greatest names, even if they don't realize it.

 

I had my son help me name a group of armored thugs once and we ended up with Cheeseball, Little Bag of Kibble, Mr. Slantypants, and Coco the Terrible. This group failed to inspire fear in anyone.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Kids come up with the greatest names, even if they don't realize it.

 

I had my son help me name a group of armored thugs once and we ended up with Cheeseball, Little Bag of Kibble, Mr. Slantypants, and Coco the Terrible. This group failed to inspire fear in anyone.

 

Yeah, but think of the origin story they must have. If THAT doesn't inspire fear ....

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Kids come up with the greatest names, even if they don't realize it.

 

I had my son help me name a group of armored thugs once and we ended up with Cheeseball, Little Bag of Kibble, Mr. Slantypants, and Coco the Terrible. This group failed to inspire fear in anyone.

 

Consider these names stolen... er, I mean borrowed.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Kids come up with the greatest names, even if they don't realize it.

 

I had my son help me name a group of armored thugs once and we ended up with Cheeseball, Little Bag of Kibble, Mr. Slantypants, and Coco the Terrible. This group failed to inspire fear in anyone.

 

Okay, I tried. I really did, but its official. I can't say "Mr. Slantypants" without laughing. Even typing it makes me giggle.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The Skull: Was: A vigilante with a cybernetic arm and leg; quite strong, but not too bright; used a sledgehammer and ranged weapons built into his arm.

Is: A robot with big guns; still quite strong and not bright...

Ronin: A martial artist with the ability to manipulate darkness/darkforce.

 

Just before the session:

Skull's player is drawing something.

GM: Thanks for destroying the atmosphere...

Ronin's player is drawing something.

GM: Maybe I should start drawing too?...

Ronin (OOC): So when do we start playing?

 

The Skull: Is this powered armor resistant to MP3 grenades?

Everyone else: :eek:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

More from the Embria game in Pathfinder. We are now 5th level.

--------------------------------------

 

Chyra the Sorceress (OOC): Im dinky! My jewelry probably weighs more than I do!

 

----------------

 

GM: So, you begin travelling on the 3rd, which is also the first night of the full moon.

 

Metrion: Hmm. A bad omen. But at least the moonlight will show us the hideous monsters trying to eat us in the middle of the night. :thumbup:

 

---------------

 

[Rhiannon goes to scout the enemy camp of the Hobgoblin army, called the Army of the Razor Crown. She sees about 10,000 Hobgoblin troops, about 100 Ogres, and other things. She returns to the culvert where the rest of the party is hiding]

 

Rhiannon: ....and I also saw..um...what do you call a big sphere-ey thing...

 

Metrion: Oh! I love riddles!

 

Rhiannon: Its not a riddle. Its something I saw. It was, like, about five feet across, with a mouth, and a huge eye in the middle, and all these tentacle things on top with eyes of their own...and it hovers?

 

Metrion: You saw one of those?!

 

Rhiannon: I saw twelve of those.

 

Metrion: ...Do you think the Razor Crown is hiring?

 

-------------------

 

[Metrion and Rhiannon recount the heroic deeds of our barbarian, Varga, to her tribal elders. These include facing a Mummy, decapitating Hydra heads, and wrestling a man-sized white Dragon, among other things that are really far too cocky for a character who just hit 5th level to have accomplished, yet every word was true (we rawk! :D). The elders listen.]

 

Spooky Chick with incense: *Bites Varga's shoulder* Your blood tells the truth of your story.

 

Varga: My friends would not lie.

 

Metrion (OOC): Because "Bluff" is not a Class skill for either Wizards or Fighters....Best not to tell them about your Rogue levels

 

Rhiannon (OOC): It was only one! I was young! I needed the Skill Points!

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

(in the voice of the kid from Zathura)

Critical Failure, beyotch.

 

(Another critical botch roll)

I'm shooting you by shooting me.

 

(Enemy lost a leg and is trying to climb the side of the vehicle to get to the heroes.)

 

He's got to hop.

It makes me think he doing something else to the side of the submarine.

CES

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Some quotes from the last session of the Karnalas "swords and sandals" game:

 

-------------

 

The PCs are protecting a large wagon full of treasure. Some bandits assault us in the alleys of a major city. Hakkar (all eight feet and four arms of him) slips under the wagon before the bandits see him.

 

Hakkar: RRAAAWWWWRRR! The Unseen Watcher hungers! *Grabs a bandit and drags him under the wagon screaming*

 

Other Bandits: :eek:

 

An Urban Legend: *Is born!*

 

-----------------

 

Lord Nantis: Id much rather go into the COuncil Chamber in my armor, rather than these robes. Its not like it was in the arena, back in my glory days.

 

Hakkar: Consider yourself to have traded one arena for another, and to be clad in the correct armor to take on whatever kind of soft-skinned, womanesque, boot-licker prefers robes.

 

------------------

 

Hakkar: Shall I kill you now? ...... *Ahem* I mean...would you care to fight to the death for your "honor"?

 

---------------

 

Talik: Looks like they have crossbows.

 

Hakkar: I find that crossbows are antithetical to my plans to grow old and fat.

 

--------------

 

Talik: I am Sir Talik of Tarvir, Hawkrider and Knight. This is Hakkar the Unconquored, world-renowned veteran gladiator and champion of his people. And THIS is a lawful writ authorising me to arrest your boss for engaging in a long list of crimes. And we get to kill anyone who refuses to get out of our way.

 

The Guards: .......Um.....you know....its about time we take a break for lunch. See ya! *They run*

 

Talik: I like reasonable people.

 

Hakkar. I dont. But I suppose it does save time.

 

--------------------

 

GM: What is Hakkar's "defense"?

 

Hakkar (OOC): It was dark, he was drunk, and she swore to me she was nineteen :D

 

Gm: :/

 

Hakkar: :D

 

-------------------

 

Talik and Hakkar go to the walled estate of Lord Rastin, who is behind a series of extortions, robberies, kidnappings, and murders

 

Talik: How many gates are there into Lord Rastin's estate?

 

Hakkar: Oh, you mean his "Rast-Hole"?

 

---------------------

 

Hakkar kicks open the gate, splintering the bound wooden door. Talik steps in and decks the two guardsmen standing just inside. Two more guards come running up.

 

Approaching Guardman: ALARM! ALARM! THEY'RE AT THE FRONT GATE!

 

Hakkar: ALARM! ALARM! THEY'RE AT THE POSTERN GATE! THEYRE AT THE REAR GATE! THEY'RE ALL AROUND US!

 

Talik: ...I so owe you beer! ;)

 

----------------------

 

Hakkar: *Slowly draws his four swords, facing the remaining House Knights while Talik takes on Lord Rastin one-on-one* All right then. Here are the rules. Each time one of you dies, the rest may surrender. But NOT until then! :eg:

 

----------------------

 

Elderly Magistrate: *Eyes one of the women we rescued, who is a renowned beauty* Shes pretty! :love:....Im done :straight:

 

----------------------

 

GM: You guys defeated all of the assassin guild's leaders earlier. These are just a half dozen of the "rank and file" assassins. You can defeat them easily. We dont need to play thru that fight.

 

Hakkar (OOC): Ok, after I fight the assassins, Ill take the shortest one alive. If hes the smallest of them he MUSt be the cleverest! :D

 

---------------------

 

Hakkar: Look what I caught trying to run from the fire they set in Lord Rastin's secret chamber to destroy the evidence we found against him.

 

Talik: Its the Littlest Ninja! How cute!

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Ironically, the villain got the best line of the night tonight, in the final confrontation between the Teen Heroes of Vigilance and the Undead Skull.

 

"Tonight...I would ask you not to think of me as your vice-principal. Think of me as your...Head-master! Hahaaaaahahahhhhhhhhhhhh"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From this weeks Defender's game:

 

RE: Dr. Destroyer's loyalty-cortex-bomb (is there any other kind?)

GM: Removing it would be relatively straight forward. For brain surgery.

 

Built-To-Last (over the radio): Without looking at it. I would say anything that is labeled 'Do Not Lick' also applies to you.

 

RE: Foxbat

Inertia: If I were Dr. Destroyer I would set a bomb to go off as soon as the ambient noise dropped below a certain level.

GM: He stopped talking! He must have escaped!

 

At the very beginning of the campaign it was established that there was no Queso Dimension - it has been a running joke since.

Enigma: Of course there's a Guacamole Dimension, don't be stupid.

 

(i forget who): I figured he already licked one.

 

In a Qliphothic Dimension, justifying squishing evil Qliphothic Cockroaches:

Built-To-Last: They're not alive. . .

Inertia: Then why do they scream 'Mommy!'?

 

Saving an unconscious Bulldozer from the Qliphothic Dimension.

Inertia: Fireman's carry? Or Newlywed's carry?

Built-To-Last: Power Word Wedgie!

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From this weeks Defender's game:

Saving an unconscious Bulldozer from the Qliphothic Dimension.

Inertia: Fireman's carry? Or Newlywed's carry?

Built-To-Last: Power Word Wedgie!

 

I must introduce Power Word Wedgie into a game....

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

4th edition DnD

 

Aleric, Human Paladin

Ciaphas, Human Fighter

Scrag, Half-Orc Barbarian

Torm, Dragonborn Cleric

Shadowdeath, Eladrin Wizard

Atolucus, Half-Elf Rogue

Rangrim, Eladrin Artificer

 

Out of context is better

Aleric: It's my penis, I'll wash it as much as I want.

Ciaphas: I was cleaning my penis and it accidentally went off.

 

Scrag: I thought you were human!

Torm: We've been together for months, and now you notice the green scales and fire breathing?

 

To battle!

Shadowdeath: When all you have is a hammer...

Torm: When all you have is a pick...

Ciaphas: When all you have is a horse...

 

Aleric: I'm going to do something nasty to it.

Torm: You're going to pee on its leg?

 

About the major villian

Ciaphas: This guy was so nice, now he's evil. I blame the media.

 

Atolucus: We are in trouble.

Torm: What you mean, "We", softskin?

 

Aleric: I get a plus two because he's evil.

Ciaphas: Is he evil?

Torm: He wants to kill everyone on this plane.

Atolucus: Maybe he's just a entropy fan.

 

Ciaphas loses his warhorse...

Ciaphas: What's a cavalryman without his horse?

Torm: A infantryman.

Aleric: In bad boots.

Scrag: Jingling when he walks.

Ciaphas: Now I have to walk everywhere.

Atolucus: Buy a new horse you cheap bastard!

 

The campaign ended, with the following results...

 

Aleric, Human Paladin, founded a chain of orphanages and churches to his God.

Ciaphas, Human Fighter, became demigod of his homeland. And dismounted cavalry.

Scrag, Half-Orc Barbarian

Torm, Dragonborn Cleric, became demigod of contact sports.

Shadowdeath, Eladrin Wizard, became demigod of teleportation.

Atolucus, Half-Elf Rogue, became king of the eastern kingdoms.

Rangrim, Eladrin Artificer, became demigod of bazookas.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Not much gaming these two weeks - guild annual general meeting, absent players, and rethinks of character design and costume

 

In Cthulhu, Paddy McGinty has yet to encounter any actual magic, and isn't overly impressed by the Esoteric Order of Dagon, either ( Don't worry, he'll soon learn better - BWAHAHAHA )

 

Paddy McGinty
: So what if this bunch of bastards stole a name from the Bible. And it's right there in black and white - Jesus already kicked Dagon's arse.

Lucy Smith OOC
: I'd pay to see that

Paddy McGinty
: Pay-per-view. Tonight's deathmatch - Haysoos el Saviour vs. Dagon! In the red corner 45000 pounds of fish, in the blue, the Lamb of God! They fight not just for the title, but your immortal soul!

 

Edge City 3D miniseries is winding up, before we return you to your Normal continuity. But this week, no actual gaming

 

Weldun, GM
rant on the Streetfighter RPG
: Then you have
Guile
, supposedly a US Air Force Special Forces... Who can't fly and doesn't know how to use a gun. And who apparently got his powers as a
test pilot
. TestMONKEY maybe. Or ballast.
:mad:

 

Trawler decides on two manhole covers, worn as a lap-lap. In a pinch he can pull one off and throw it as a lethal 50-kg frisbee. Thus combining costume with armour with weapon, and leaving open possible comparisons with Captain America, another character with a tendency to throw away his only protection.

 

Although it does raise the question of what will do more damage - the manhole cover or the sight of Trawler now cavorting naked across the battlefield. I suspect Zero is going to really regret suggesting manholes and an anchor to him. The possibility of fishnets just goes to complete the horror.

 

Trawler
:
boggles
Oh no... I've just realized I'm wearing a manhole cover... over my butt.

 

Miss Chaos
: You'll give the paparazzi a new hobby - try to catch Trawler between the covers

 

Trawler
: ...and if we paint a fish on them, they'll be codpieces
:D

 

Inadvertent smut, thanks to unpronounced commas

 

Miss Chaos
: You never know - One day Trawler might meet a 12-ft tall noodle-loving woman...

 

Important point - it's TRAWLER that's 12-foot tall...

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