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Darren Watts

Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The only quote my muddled brain can cudgel up after 24 hours of GM'ing at GenCon:

 

During the Hollow Earth Expedition adventure, Cola, the Cargo Cult Alchemist, uses her Voodoo Teddy Bear to curse her foes into total ineffectiveness. The player mimes Cola stabbing the teddy bear repeatedly while muttering, "I hate you all. I hate you all."

 

My comment. "Oh no. Cola's gone emo." :doi:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

During Saturday Morning Cartoons run by Hooligan on 8/15/09

 

Characters:

Magical Bunny Princess Moxie: A magical girl from an imported Japanese cartoon.

Bunbun: Her bunny/monkey pet. He grows into a giant bunny when Moxie is threatened.

Glamoura: Bad girl from the hit rock-n-roll cartoon Jewell and the Monograms

Shaolin Shark: The number two rated undersea martial arts cartoon! Sort of a cross between Hong Kong Fooey and Jabberjaws.

Scorpio Commando: A grunt trooper from the GI Jim series.

Groovy Dog: The mystery solving dog who travels around with a gang of teenagers in a van.

Bernie: Groovy Dog's much smarter sidekick.

Jacques Quack: French super-spy duck.

 

The plot (such as it was): All of our cartoons were getting moved to the post-midnight slot. They were going to make us edgier and more "adult" oriented. None of us wanted this, so we set out to find out who switched our timeslots, and make them switch us back!

 

We need to get past a security guard. Magical Princess Moxie decides to seduce him:

Guard: Your eyes are huge. And your mouth is tiny. And I can hardly see your nose.

Moxie: Well, I'm from Japan.

Guard: You don't sound Japanese.

Moxie: I've been dubbed.

Guard: Oh. Did that hurt?

Moxie: No, but sometimes now my lips don't match my words.

 

Sad Panda is sad:

Sad Panda: I got moved to the midnight slot. So they're going to kill my mom now. :(

Everyone: Awwwww! :weep:

Sad Panda: Guess I'll see you guys later. At my mom's funeral. :(

 

We run into mob boss Bobster entering his favorite resturant...

Groovy Dog: Bobster is a lobster?

GM: He's a reputed lobster. Nobody's ever proven anything.

 

We decide we need to set a trap for the reputed lobster:

Bernie: First, we'll grease the stairs with butter. Then we'll put a skateboard out, with a ramp.

Groovy: And at the end of the ramp, we'll put a pot full of boiling water.

Jacques Quack: Why don't we just cut a hole in the floor right above the boiling water?

Bernie and Groovy: *stare*

Groovy: Have you never set a trap for a bad guy before?

Bernie: Your plan is not nearly overcomplicated enough! Trust us, we do this all the time. And somehow, it works.

 

Several times during the game:

Groovy: Dammit!

Bernie: Groovy! Language!

Groovy: Oh my god! This new time slot is changing me already! :(

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

 

Then we played Rio Grande's boxed cardgame Race For The Galaxy. Weldun takes notes of the results, for SF-setting inspiration.

 

Draws Homeworld card - Ancient Race. It features a suspiciously hyena-like humanoid with a staff.

 

Me
: Oh dear.

Barbara vdB
: Vitus
again
??!

Me
: Indeed - is there
no
system he won't show up in?

 

Hey, I played that game at GenCon!

 

And got that card and thought the same thing!

 

Lucius Alexander

 

Feed him to the palindromedary!

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Several times during the game:

Groovy: Dammit!

Bernie: Groovy! Language!

Groovy: Oh my god! This new time slot is changing me already!

 

Don't forget the other ways the new time slot affected Groovy Dog and Bernie.

 

Groovy: I don't want to be a meth-head!

Bernie: And I don't want to lose my virginity in a public bathroom stall!

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Hey, I played that game at GenCon!

 

And got that card and thought the same thing!

 

Lucius Alexander

 

Feed him to the palindromedary!

 

 

Heeheehee - and so Vitus invades your mind....

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From my teen champions game:

 

cast:

Lisa "Fireshot" Deing: Fire controlling catgirl

Maria Vitel: Somewhat goth dhampir girl (yes, goth, not emo)

Ariel "Sylph" Adams: "Hot For Teacher" style english teacher/librarian/heroic mage

Tzalan: Extra-dimensional wraith exile inhabiting a human host

Jacob "Buntai-kun" Masterson: martial artist/everything bender boy-band member

Joshua Focker: 12 year old super-genius shape-shifter

Tiffany "Panther" Grey: Super-strong, somewhat insecure gymnast

Paul "Frostbite" Milliner: NPC cold manipulator, has TERRIBLE luck in combat

 

Pre-game:

GM: "Ah, crap. I forgot my hex map!"

Lisa (OOC): "Are we gonna have a combat today?"

GM: ::shrug:: "I don't have one planned, but knowing you guys..." ::indicates Joshua's player::

Lisa (OOC): "Good point."

 

The heroes fight a plot-powered crystal golem:

GM: "Okay, Frostbite goes for an entangle." ::rolls dice:: "and hits! Lemme figure out the Def and Body..."

Maria (OOC): "He should totally lose his next action from shock."

GM: ::glare::

 

Crystal golem defeated, proving the heroes worthy:

GM: "When the golem is beaten, it dissolves into dust that swirls around all of you, pieces of it eventually settling into the palm of your left hand, leaving a symbol on your hand. You don't know what it means, but Sylph, a little scrambling through your books, and you puzzle them out. Yours means "Wisdom", Panther's is "Power", Maria's is "Speed", Joshua has "Emotion", Jacob has "Will", Frostbite gets "Persistance"...

rest of table: ::begins snickers, eventually becoming full on laughter::

GM (OOC): "Look, I know Frostbite is kind of a joke, but bless his heart, he's trying."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Quotes from a Shadowrun4 game I am playing in, but not running.

 

----------

 

Team (I don't know their names yet):

Female Orc Sniper

Male Elf Mage

James: Male Human Hacker (Me)

 

----------

The team is following clues left by an abductor that lead to a Native American biker bar.

 

GM: You enter the bar and its like a scene out of those old west movies where everyone stops what their doing and stares at you.

 

James: I raise my hand and say, "How."

 

GM: Roll Initiative.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

ProdigyDuck ran a Pathfinder conversion of Keep on the Borderlands at Gen Con, where we played the 1st Level versions of the iconic Pathfinder characters. Characters in play were:

 

Harsk: Dwarf Ranger with a 6 Charisma

Leni: Gnome Druid with green hair

Merisiel: Elf Rogue

Valeros: Human Fighter

Amiri: Human Barbarian girl with a Frost Giant sword

 

------------------

 

[The last Player to join the game is trying to pick a character]

 

Harsk (OOC): Im not saying that you have to play the Cleric. Im just saying that we're going to kill every other character until the Cleric shows up!

 

-------------------

 

Inkeeper: We have ale, cheese, roast fowl, roast jopint...

 

Harsk: Did you just offer me a JOINT!?!

 

Merisiel: Hey, this town might not be so bad :smoke:

 

------------------

 

Harsk sees Valeros picking a bug out of his tankard and flicking it across the room.

 

Harsk: Hey longshanks! Theres a trash barrel right over there!

 

Leni: *GASP!* You DO care about the environment! :celebrate

 

Harsk: :/

 

----------------

 

Harsk has made a big production out of brewing himself some tea. He finally finishes the process.

 

Leni: *Swipes Harsk's tea out from under his nose, sips it, and then giggles*

 

Harsk: I'LL WEARYOUR SKIN AS A HAT!

 

Leni: *looks herself up and down* Thats about all you'd be able to GET! :P

 

--------------------

 

GM: A vulture peers down at you from the barren tree

 

Leni: *Makes big Bambi-eyes, then makes kissy noises at it*

 

------------------

 

Valeros (OOC): So, the Kobolds are just standing there, in the light from Merisiel's lantern?

 

GM: Yeah, basically

 

Harsk (OOC): If they were smart, they rule the world.

 

-----------------

 

Valeros: I think that Harsk has had too much of that tea.

 

Amiri: Is that what they call the "crazy juice"?!?

 

---------------

 

Valeros (OOC): When a rat comes around a corner and roars at you, its a bad sign

 

--------------

 

Amiri (OOC): So let me get this straight...the Kobolds' entire pursuit force fell into their own pit trap?

 

Harsk (OOC): If they were smart...theyd rule the world. :cool:

 

---------------

 

Harsk: *Looks down into the pit at the pile of dead Kobolds, who fell in while trying to chase us* So.....when we get back to the keep...we LIE!

 

Merisiel: *sigh*....Agreed.

 

----------

 

Leni (OOC): I prestidigitate everyone clean.

 

Harsk: MY DEFENSIVE BUTT-GRIME! :eek:

 

--------------

 

Leni is writing down the treasure

 

GM: In the first sack you find 250 copper pieces. In the second, a large, hard cheese...

 

Leni: 200 and how many cheeses? ......:o

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Quotes from a Shadowrun4 game I am playing in, but not running.

 

----------

 

Team (I don't know their names yet):

Female Orc Sniper

Male Elf Mage

James: Male Human Hacker (Me)

 

----------

The team is following clues left by an abductor that lead to a Native American biker bar.

 

GM: You enter the bar and its like a scene out of those old west movies where everyone stops what their doing and stares at you.

 

James: I raise my hand and say, "How."

 

GM: Roll Initiative.

 

LOL! Classic :thumbup:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I have a habit of recording things that make me laugh so that I can laugh later on and remember what happened. I figured I'd share my favorites with you.

 

 

During a D&D Game: "I may do tons of damage with my rapier of... well... probably mediocrity." - Me

 

"Why couldn't I ride him?" - Mel

 

Pat: "I could swim up the ass."

Gennaro: Pfft. Do you need swimmies for that?"

 

"Luckily, my sense motive is the same as my bluff. I always know when I'm lying." - Pat

 

"Dark knowledge! Better than regular knowledge!" - sung triumphantly by Pat

 

"They always talk about my drinking, but they never talk about my thirst!" - Pat

 

 

 

 

During a V:tM Game: "I fell down a flight of cliffs." - Me

 

"I punch the infomercial guy in the throat. I HATE INFORMERCIALS!" - AJ

 

"Who's up for some car jousting?" - AJ

 

"That's why you don't give junkie grenades." - AJ

 

"If I wanted any lip from you I'd peel it off my zipper." - Me

 

 

During AFMBE (All Flesh Must Be Eaten): "The legs don't appear to be breathing." - Tim

 

"I'm sorry, you don't have fire insurance. You have St. Elmo's fire insurance." - Gennaro

 

Me: "I think I'll donate that to Loaves and Fishes."

Melanie: "In my mind, I heard you say 'hoes and bitches'."

 

 

 

During Serenity: "HAND ME MY SWORD!" - Tim (his character, Carl, had it attached to his hip at the time)

 

"Dead sister sex HAS to be better than dead captain sex!" - Jay

 

 

During drunken Munchkin: "I'm gonna knock on the doorbell." - Jamie

 

 

And since this is in the Champions folder:

Melanie: "I don't think Batman had a weakness that was glaringly obvious like Superman."

Me: "Uh... He was pretty bad at taking bullets."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Quotes from a Shadowrun4 game I am playing in, but not running.

 

----------

 

Team (I don't know their names yet):

Female Orc Sniper

Male Elf Mage

James: Male Human Hacker (Me)

 

----------

The team is following clues left by an abductor that lead to a Native American biker bar.

 

GM: You enter the bar and its like a scene out of those old west movies where everyone stops what their doing and stares at you.

 

James: I raise my hand and say, "How."

 

GM: Roll Initiative.

 

 

This one definitely belongs in the "Oh, *#%@!" thread (or whatever it's

called).

 

 

Major Tom 2009 :snicker:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Quotes from a Shadowrun4 game I am playing in, but not running.

 

----------

 

Team (I don't know their names yet):

Female Orc Sniper

Male Elf Mage

James: Male Human Hacker (Me)

 

----------

The team is following clues left by an abductor that lead to a Native American biker bar.

 

GM: You enter the bar and its like a scene out of those old west movies where everyone stops what their doing and stares at you.

 

James: I raise my hand and say, "How."

 

GM: Roll Initiative.

 

Put that in the manual called: "What Not To Do When Going Into a Native American Biker Bar" :eek::)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

New Pathfinder game

 

The PC's

Ishkaeden "Kade" Longlore - 1/2Elf fighter from a family of scribes and bookeepers.

Nogero - Gnome Sorcerer (Celestial bloodline, works for the Church of the accidental God)

Zandrin - Priest of the Accidental God

Aldritek Arcanus - Sorcerer (draconic bloodline)

 

PC's each had a parent or family member who was a juror in the murder trial of the court executioner. He had apparently killed his wife and child. Shortly after he was executed, most of this particular district of the city of Absalom fell into the sea, the courthouse was quickly abandoned.

 

The PC's and the surviving members of the jury found themselves back in the courthouse after being kidnapped. And in the PC's case each receiving a horrifying vision.

 

On with the quotes:

 

The NPC's start to quickly disappear (this is a horror picture style adventure)

When Halgrek, the 1/2 orc smith disappears after standing next to Ebin, the gnome jester (who had been failing to be funny the whole time)...

 

Kade: "The Orc is gone! Check the Gnome's pockets!"

Ebin: "That wasn't funny!"

GM: Actually...most of the npcs chuckle. Ebin sulks

 

 

One of the jurors, a crime lord/assassin with a signature weapon (spiked chain) arrogantly leaves the rest of the party to escape on his own. He is found hanging from the ceiling by his own chain.

 

Zandrin (to Ebin): "Not one "hung jury" comment or you'll join him."

 

Nogero: "It's a hung man revenant! *snicker*"

Kade: "So that's what was thumping on the stairs as he floated down."

 

Aldritek OOC: "Ha! I made it through the first part of the adventure without blowing all my spells!"

 

Kade OOC: "So what? I made it through the first part of the adventure without my armor or weapons."

 

Zandrin: "I'm late for my prayers. I should have prayed at dusk."

Kade: "Dusk?"

Zandrin: "Before Happy Hour."

 

Patrissa (NPC enchantress, very attractive): "You will protect me, then?"

Kade: "My course, of lady. *wince*...Sure."

 

Sir Rekkart: "You're a "temple gnome"?"

Nogero: "That's RIGHT!"

Sir Rekkart: "What is a temple gnome responsible for, exactly?"

Nogero: (in a defeated posture) "I have no idea..."

 

One of the NPC's is a lovely halfling woman, Nogero seems smitten. Well...ok he seems desperate to get into her pants.

 

Nogero: "Don't worry Madge! I'll protect you!" (Brandishes a silvered dagger)

(Zombie of one of the recently dead jurors shuffles towards them)

Madge: "AAAAAAAAA!" (Runs)

Nogero: (blinks)"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Runs to Zandrin and grabs his leg.

Zandrin: "I'm going to need you to clean that boot, gnome."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

And from tonight's WoW game:

 

Druid just learned Tree of Life form (think treant)

 

"Now I don't want to find you walking the streets of Dalaran imploring the women to eat your veggies!"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

And from tonight's WoW game:

 

Druid just learned Tree of Life form (think treant)

 

"Now I don't want to find you walking the streets of Dalaran imploring the women to eat your veggies!"

 

 

I think that you just invented a new category of pornography there:

 

 

Vegan Smut.

 

 

Major Tom 2009 :sneaky:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Alright, so I'm in a Serenity campaign and my character (Vera Elizabeth Cobb - aka Betsy) isn't the nicest in the world. She's much nicer than Michaela, their master of arms who also has a gift with demolitions. Nalani is the all preened up mechanic. She won't leave the ship without gussying up.

 

Michaela: I probably have a grenade and an assault rifle."

Nalani: "I said subtle!"

Betsy: "For Michaela, that IS subtle!"

 

And my best line of the evening...

 

Betsy:"'Does this smell like atmo?' and then I hit the airlock."

GM: *blank stare then uncomfortable laughter*

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

During a V:tM Game: "I fell down a flight of cliffs." - Me

 

Of all the funny stuff in that post, this is the funniest. Repped, of course.

 

(Now put up some more posts so we can all see how much Rep you have! :celebrate)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Of all the funny stuff in that post, this is the funniest. Repped, of course.

 

(Now put up some more posts so we can all see how much Rep you have! :celebrate)

 

LOL! I didn't know I needed to reach a limit... Hooligan enlightened me today... I have quite a bunch of rep per my user CP. I didn't know that NGD doesn't count. I've got my fingers plucking every thread there...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Betsy:"'Does this smell like atmo?' and then I hit the airlock."

GM: *blank stare then uncomfortable laughter*

 

I don't get it. Was someone inside? If so, that's not a bad line to toss out before spacing them, but I don't see why there would be uncomfortable laughter...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I don't get it. Was someone inside? If so' date=' that's not a bad line to toss out before spacing them, but I don't see why there would be uncomfortable laughter...[/quote']

 

Yes, there was someone who had vital information inside and I didn't feel they were talking fast enough.

 

It was kinda a GM kick in the junk, except the GM was a female.

 

She had to take a cig break to figure out how the hell we'd get the information after my tanty.

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