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Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


Darren Watts

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

"new category"?

 

You lead a sheltered life don't you?

 

 

Now that I think of it, there was that particularly bizzare scene in the first of

the Evil Dead films (at least I think it was the first one) that more or less re-

defined the phrase "tree-hugger" -- in the sense that it was the trees that

were doing the "hugging".

 

And no, I don't lead a sheltered life.

 

 

Major Tom 2009 :rolleyes:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Alright, so I'm in a Serenity campaign

>clip<

 

 

Ah, I miss my Serenity game. I had all my notes and my book and my laptop stolen, so my game had to stop short.

 

Fair warning for your GM: Ten Pound Mining Charges are NOT self-defense, anyone from St. Albans should talk like they're from Fargo (because it's awesome), and be very careful about introducing characters from the show. It can be dangerous...

 

I'm jealous! I want my game back!

 

[/pout]

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

A couple from my Teen Champions game yesterday:

 

A ruckus erupts on the football field during class:

Gemini (team liason, calling on team commlink): "Everyone, there's a disturbance at the school!"

Maria (already there, along with rest of team): "No? Really?" ::dodges a blow from a monster::

Gemini: "Right. Judging from the ambient level of snark and violent noises, seems your already there. Stay the course! Call me when it's over!"

 

The rival team of teens are trying to violently persuade a rock monster to join them. Good guys understandably try to stop this:

GM(ooc): "Okay, Psychotronic is down, the rock monster freaks out and..." ::rolls dice:: "starts stomping in Psychotronic's direction."

Maria(ooc): "Wait, he's gonna get trampled? I dash out and pull him out of the way."

GM (a little misty eyed): "You're going out of your way to keep a villain from getting killed! Finally, someone gets the super-HERO genre! This is--"

Maria(ooc): "Hey, hold the praise. I'm half-vampire. I'm gonna drain him!"

GM: "Oh, right, silly me. Roll your dice."

 

The teasing of Frostbite continues:

Lisa(ooc): ::rolls dice, misses horribly:: "Damn it! You swapped my dice for Frostbites! Give em back!"

While we're on the topic, Panther's player said something similar when she rolled boxcars

 

Psychotronic is unable to shake Maria, who's latched on to him much like a lamprey. He ultimately decides to just grab her, take to the air, and try to scrape her off on traffic. Meanwhile, the team managed to take out the other two enemies and calm the rock monster, which turned out to be one of the linebacks from the football team. Later, Lisa wants to find Maria and Psychotronic. I have her roll Perception:

Lisa(ooc): "Okay, made it by 4, do I find her?"

GM(ooc): "Well, you don't see her per-se, but about a block away, you hear the sounds of metal scraping metal, loud booms, car-alarms and shouting. Evidence suggests your team mate is in that direction."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Yes, there was someone who had vital information inside and I didn't feel they were talking fast enough.

 

It was kinda a GM kick in the junk, except the GM was a female.

 

She had to take a cig break to figure out how the hell we'd get the information after my tanty.

 

Yeah. It reminds me of a story a fellow gamer told me a while ago. She was stuck with a somewhat lame group playing D&D, bored out of her skull as they tramped around, doing the usual XP-crunching and fighting over loot.

 

They'd come across a goblin (or kobold, or some other such nuisance monster) and captured him for information. The interrogation session had gone as expected, with the players fumbling around, trying to short-circuit the adventure by forcing the GM to reveal his secrets, when the GM decided to stop the foolishness and have the rest of the monsters attack.

 

The GM went around the table, asking for each player's first action. He got the usual "I draw my +2 Sword of Killling Things Dead", "I cast my nifty Pump Me Up spell", etc. When the GM got to my friend, she hissed, "I slit the prisoner's throat," using her best Natasha voice.

 

The table froze as everyone stared at my friend for a second in shock, then continued on in a more subdued tone.

 

It tells you something about the game that that was the highlight of the evening for her. ;)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Yes, there was someone who had vital information inside and I didn't feel they were talking fast enough.

 

It was kinda a GM kick in the junk, except the GM was a female.

 

She had to take a cig break to figure out how the hell we'd get the information after my tanty.

 

...well, that makes it officially hilarious AND entirely appropriate for Serenity.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The heroes are restocking their supplies, getting extra ammo, explosives, transmitters, and other handy items. It should be noted that there was a deficit of munchies at this gaming session.

GM: “Okay, has everybody got what they want now?”

Viceroy: “I want to buy a case of cheese and peanut butter snack crackers.” [There is a bewildered silence] “You know, like the little plastic wrapped ones you get out of vending machines.” [More silence and inquisitive looks] “In case we meet anyone hitting us up for money. We just give them snack crackers. If they really are hungry they will be grateful, if it’s a scam they leave you alone because you obviously aren’t a good mark.”

Quinn: “Yeah, they would have to be really hungry.”

Viceroy: “Hey, it works in Raleigh [North Carolina], I don’t know why it wouldn’t work here.” [Purportedly this really does work]

 

Later the heroes are at a feast of a dedicated sea-faring folk. They are trying to ingratiate themselves to their hosts, who place a high value on ceremony and social etiquette.

GM: “Most of the banquet seems to consist of raw fish, some of it raw to the point it is still twitching.”

Kateomi: “Okay, sushi is great and all, but I have to draw the line at twitching.”

Quinn: “Can I use Sleight of Hand to empty my plate without actually having to eat anything?” [He does, leaving an unpleasant surprise in someone’s pocket]

Gemini: “You say most of it is raw? I’ll focus on the stuff that isn’t.”

GM: “That would be the pickled fish eyes and a dish which has a name that roughly translates as ‘fermented entrails’.

Viceroy: “Bet you are wishing now that you had bought a case of snack crackers for yourself.”

Kateomi: “Are you kidding? That blaze orange looks like some kind of biohazard sign. I think I’ll stick with the sushi.”

 

Later yet the heroes are dealing with a gigantic, spine-covered serpent.

Quinn: “We’ve got good Stealth rolls. Maybe we can sneak past it while it sleeps.”

GM: “It is very awake, and very hungry.”

Viceroy: “Quick, throw it some snack crackers!”

Quinn: “Like the snake is going to pass up on the tasty meat morsels that are us so it can eat violently orange snack crackers!”

Viceroy: “Of course not! Nobody really eats those things! But maybe the peanut butter will glue its jaws shut so it can’t eat us.”

Quinn: “If I make a really good Luck roll, can the snake be allergic to peanuts?”

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The players:

Silverbolt: Mage Energy Projector

Steamjack: Steam-tech Power-Armor (not present this time)

Ultrasaur: Corporate Mutant Brick

Pinpoint: Acupuncture Martial Artist

Andy: Mutant with Snot Powers

Remising over passed campaigns:

GM (Kale's player): actually, Kale didn't think he was evil.

Silverbolt (the DM of that campaign): That doesn't matter, no evil people think they're evil.

Pinpoint: Dr Evil does.

Silverbolt: That is a joke character, he isn't actually real.

GM: Unlike Kale?

 

The player's are forced into a press conference by ULTICORP (their employers). The team really hate press conferences, and have a bit of a bad track record, but ULTICORP PR division is determined to milk some good publicity from their recent victories:

ULTICORP PR agent (NPC): There will be no talking, promising repayments, covering press members in snot, singing, immobilizing press members, steam venting, leaving mid sentence, speaking foreign languages, including British, no attacking any popular politicians, passers by, ULTICORP personnel, hostages or members of the press, no throwing things, damaging equipment, breaking things, no changing costumes, no sending illusions instead of oneself, no summoning bad weather, no saying anything unless directly asked a question at the appropriate time and even then your answers will be short, positive and contain no insults or threats, no matter how veiled.

 

A sadly likely occurrence:

Andy: will we be blamed if people have random heart attacks and die?

Fun with low DEX crowds:

Ultrasaur: Wait, is that a crowd of people just sitting there.

GM: No, that's a crowd of people trying to panic, and waiting for their DEX to come up.

 

Dyslectics makes for fun talking:

GM: Ultrasaur recovers from his abortion. Er, abort action.

 

Profound truth:

Steamjack: In the case of emergencies the press won't panic until they realize their cameras aren't working.

 

Ultisaur caches up on the situation:

GM: It's 2012, everything's sci-fi!

Ultisaur: It's 2012! It's the end of the world!

Everyone: not yet! It's March, the apocalypse is in December.

 

Never start listening in mid conversation:

Silverbolt: Right. Penetrating.

GM: Is it penetrating? Let me check.

Silverbolt: I'm hardened!

Ultisaur: Don't tell us these things!

A wise clarification:

Ultisaur: I abort to throwing Andy out of the way. *pause* Just not, you know, out of the window.

 

A VIPER thug with a bulky weapon finds he has a DCV of 3:

GM: Note to self, throw the gun out the window and get the f*** out of there.

 

Silverbolt hits a seemingly unarmored VIPER agent in press gear:

GM: Most of your attack bounces of his force field.

Silverbolt: He has a force field?

GM: You think they'd send in guys unprotected against you guys?!

 

GM: There's constant milling in that area.

Silverbolt: Why would they be milling, they've had a whole segment.

GM: Then they've done a segment worth of milling.

 

Pinpoint considers shooting through the crowd with his needles, despite the damage it would cause, citing that his acupuncture clinic can fix them:

Silverbolt (playing a lawyer): So you're going to hurt them then make them pay for fixing them up. That amounts to assault and extortion.

Ultisaur: No, that amounts to prostitution. First you're gonna penetrate them, and then you're gonna fix them up.

 

Commenting the status of the VIPER agent who just got hit with every needle in a needle swarm (pinpoint rolled a 3):

GM: Not the happiest chap on the battlemap.

 

Silverbolt is knocked out by a sniper:

Pinpoint: I poke Silverbolt.

Silverbolt: Thanks for the heal.

Pinpoint: who said it was healing needles?

A plot important file is given to Ultisaur:

GM: It's about getting permanent and temporary enhancements.

Ultisaur: For me?

GM: Yes… well, for all the X2-3725 projects.

Ultisaur: All the … how many others were there?

GM: You're believed to be the only survivor.

Ultisaur: Sweet Jesus, the only WHAT now?!

 

Several scientists of project X2-3725 (The project that created Ultisaur) are dead. One was murdered:

Ultisaur: What sort of weapon was used in the murder?

Wallace (UNTIL agent, NPC): We're not entirely sure.

Ultisaur: Then what sort of trauma was there? Blunt force, bladed weapons…

Wallace: Bomb.

Ultisaur: Large scale or targeted?

Wallace: We had some problems finding the office building.

 

Pinpoint has been trying to say something for a long time:

GM: At this point I'm going to say, (looks through FREDs list of powers), there's not actually a power that makes you shut up, huh. Ok, fine. You shut up, you shut up, you shut up, you talk.

Pinpoint: Oh … ok. (silence for over a minute) Actually I'm enjoying the quiet.

The team starts tracking the now missing Agent Wallace:

GM: you end up in (dramatic pause) the shady part of town!

The players make snorting noises, unimpressed, except for Andy

Andy: Wait. The shady part of Detroit?!

Ultisaur wants to bring ULTICORP security teams with them:

Silverbolt: does he get to bring them?

GM: He gets to make a contact roll to see if he gets to bring them.

Pinpoint: that means no. (8- contact)

Ultisaur moves his figure over the battlemap:

GM: Car.

Ultisaur: What car?

GM: Car. You're in the street. Car.

 

A problem when trying to migrate players from DnD to a superhero campaign:

Ultisaur: Assume everyone's hostile unless told otherwise.

Another "friendly" discussion between the two brothers lead to a rapidly deteriorating plan:

Ultisaur: I walk up and ask them "Excuse me, has an UNTIL agent come by here?"

Silverbolt (sarcastic): oh, that's subtle! That's subtle!

Ultisaur: You know what, I pick up one of the security guards and slam him into the road.

Silverbolt (louder): Even more subtle!

Ultisaur: Hold on. Have I ever, ever, ever, ever given any example of being in any way subtle?

Ultisaur: I pretend to walk over there, then I cross the road (indicating a place the guards can't see him)

Silverbolt: CAR!

Ultisaur: I carefully avoid the cars by leaping…

Silverbolt: that's not suspicious!

GM: So, you're gonna jump between two armed security guards, go full lizard on them, and expect them not to open fire on you?

Ultisaur: Fine. I drop down without the spikes, because apparently! No matter what I do! It's WRONG! (pause) I ask them "Excuse me, are you UNTIL agents?" (to a pair of private security guards)

Ultisaur: I'm just gonna do what I feel comfortable doing, and that's stealing doors.

 

The final decision for what to say:

Ultisaur: "Excuse me, I need to get in here because a friend of mine went inn. Could you be so kind and open the door, disable the alarm and in no way be a VIPER agent?"

 

The guard tazes Ultisaur and activates the alarm. Ultisaur decides to smash his head against the wall:

Silverbolt: The GM is busy watching an unarmed civilian get killed.

GM: Armed, and not necessarily civilian either.

 

The GM gets up and closes the door:

Andy: Are you trying to suffocate us?

GM: No. I'm trying not to wake up the house. As in the physical building.

 

The team has eliminated the VIPER guards, dressed up in their uniforms and are searching the warehouse:

GM: The VIPER radio's activate and they ask for a comm check.

Silverbolt: "Everything's in order here."

GM: the alarm activates.

Silverbolt: "You just don't have a sense of humor , do you?"

GM: It stays persistently active.

 

The GM looks over his notes:

GM: You guys are gonna hate me.

Andy: We do hate you.

 

Ultisaur's keen smell leads him to a container he believes contains Agent Wallace:

Silverbolt: is he dead of alive in there?

GM: that would depend on what's at the bottom of that staircase behind the two VIPER heavies leveling their guns at you.

Ultisaur: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!

GM: You might want to abort to dive for cover…

 

No Comment:

GM: The GM is playing with dice, something is wrong.

...

Pinpoint: You're gonna spend segment 12 in the bathroom?

...

GM: It's not your turn yet, unless everyone else delays… including the bad guys.

...

Ultisaur: These secret relationships, there such a thing as being too secretive. Generally, the boyfriend should be informed.

Ultisaur: Stop fondling Anubis. 101 things I never thought I'd say.

GM: This is why good guys get to Haymaker, and bad guys don't.

GM: The dice are high.

Pinpoint: His head is sturdier.

Ultisaur: For the record, this isn't going on the record.

 

Unconventional solutions:

GM: there's now a snot mannequin in the hallway.

Andy: They don't shoot it?

GM: They don't. They have basic identify friend, foe, snot systems.

Silverbolt: "That's snot a foe!"

 

Logic:

Ultisaur: Wait? What's this about whiplash damage?

Silverbolt: You ran into a wall, it hurts!

GM: Remember, this is a realistic system, that's why it's so complicated.

 

The players consider whether Andy could help Ultisaur break through a reinforced concrete wall:

GM: with her 15 STR?

Pinpoint: she has a damn cannon ball!

GM: that's true, she does have a damn cannon ball…

Ultisaur: "Use your damn cannon ball!"

 

Ultisaur wonders why the other players are so worried when he has a concrete wall as a mobile cover:

GM: The last guy is using the wrong model. (replaces model with one with flame thrower) Does that answer your question?

Ultisaur: yes... Help?

 

Ultisaur is kept from being stunned (and knocked out) only because we realized his PD was temporarily increased by 1. Andy decides to give him some cover:

GM: That entangle will absorb 7 BODY, if they decide to fire at you; You look pretty much impaled and they probably think you're stunned. I would have thought you were stunned. I did think you were stunned.

Silverbolt's phase next, he choose this time for a toilet break:

Ultisaur: He's just gonna bounce a lightning ball.

GM: He could technically crystallize that thing (the one hex pile of snot in front of him) and save your ass…

Ultisaur (shouting at the bathroom door): Silverbolt, crystallize that thing and save my ass.

 

Sometimes you just need a random cartoon reference:

Pinpoint: The turret gun…

Silverbolt: Is completely reduced to rubble.

GM: Like Barney.

Two stolen grenades and a haymakered lightning blast are used to end a stalemate, and all the attack rolls were under 6:

GM: The gods of dice favor dramatic situations.

GM: All in all we're looking at a pretty damaged area of VIPER complex.

Silverbolt: They were VIPERed out.

 

The players raid the VIPER armory and prepare to rampage through the rest of the compound:

Ultisaur: I take one of those big guns, aim it around the corner and pull the trigger.

Pinpoint: If that's not a killing attack…

Ultisaur: It didn't kill me…

Silverbolt returns from a bathroom break:

Silverbolt: Did I hear excessive amounts of ordinance?

GM: Yeah, you sort of bust into their armory. Some poor design planning on my part.

 

Around the next corner the party runs into a pair of power armored VIPER agents:

Ultisaur: did you say there were EMP grenades?

GM (in subdued tone): Yeah… I did.

There went that boss fight…

 

A fusion generator is about to explode as a VIPER self destruct program:

Ultisaur: Listen very carefully. I want you all to get out of here. I'm. Going. To. Attempt. To. Eat. The. Plutonium.

GM: It's Plasma!

Ultisaur: I'm gonna eat it!

GM: Do you want me to look up the number of D6 of damage from plasma? Because I can.

Ultisaur: Can I spit acid on it?

GM: That would leak super-heated plasma into the room, but it might actually save the city.

 

Another Polaroid moment:

Silverbolt and Ultisaur are the last ones the leave the VIPER control room/lab. Ultisaur is carrying the control panel, teleportation array, chemical storage, and an unconscious ULTIL agent in his left hand, using his right hand to get through doors. Behind them a pool of super-heated plasma is spilling into the corridor, chasing them Indiana Jones style. Ultisaur is leaping from wall to wall, struggling to stay ahead of the plasma, while Silverbolt is using his flight to "surf" on it as they make their way to the surface.

Coming out to meet the rest of the team in front of the warehouse the base was hidden under, Silverbolt turns to address the gathered civilians as the warehouse collapses and falls into what is now a lake of plasma:

Silverbolt: Once again the day is saved, thanks to the ULTICORP Champions!

NPC: It's Team Collateral!

Silverbolt: If you thought that was bad, you should have seen what would have happened if we hadn't done that…

At this point Ultisaur comes flying out of the pit that was a warehouse, carrying the loot, and with a volcano like explosion following him.

Ultisaur: If I had eyebrows, I'm certain they'd be singed.

 

Ultisaur doesn't quite grasp how hot plasma is:

Ultisaur: In other words, I don't want to add this to the list of things I've licked in my life?

 

Pinpoint discusses theoretical ways of breaking up a theoretical fight between Ultisaur and Silverbolt:

GM: You should probably paralyze him now for the safety of the universe.

 

Agent Wallace of UNTIL was mutated by VIPER, and the players wonder if ULTICORP R&D managed to get hold of him:

GM: No, UNTIL grabbed him first, thank god.

...

GM: There are three different fractions at work. PRIMUS, UNTIL, and ULTICORP. Now all of these groups are basically scrambling after this guy.

Silverbolt (parodying Wallace's Scottish accent): Ah S***, ok UNTIL! You guys go around that way. RUN!!! Open the van! Open the van! S***!

GM: Oh, and there's also MARS units after him.

Silverbolt: Why are you lads after me, I didn't do anything!

 

The players now have a picnic by the plasma, and Silverbolt fails to make proper bread:

GM: It's hard to bake bread on plasma!

 

Summing it all up:

GM: So you've saved the city, but as far as the media is concerned…

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

My brother, Ian, revisted the Neverwinter Nights server where, as Suna, he had the entire population terrorised. This was going to be Suna's final appearance in the game, too, so with the approval of the GMs Ian held the Super Sorcery One-Time-Ever Magic Item Giveaway.

 

It was a Lucky Dip. Although perhaps lucky is the wrong word, since this is Ian and Suna we're talking about. And every single item was cursed.

 

It helped that most of the population by this point were noobs, and hadn't heard of Suna before.

 

"Suna? Who's Suna?"

"Well, you know Suna's Mountain? The one with all the booby traps?"

"That one??? I went through 13 characters trying to get to the top of that! AND I couldn't get into the chest at the end!"

"Yes. That Suna."

 

The fact that the statue of Suna stamping on the neck of Haven's founder still loomed over the town square should have been a clue, too. I guess some people just don't pay attention to local history.

 

Quite a few of Suna's curses and evil magic were still in circulation, anyway. Because people were too afraid to undo them, in case Suna came back and found out.

 

One of the noobs tried to crack on to Suna. Her reaction was to laugh and say "You call that a ****?" And when he got to the front of the queue for the give-away, Suna greeted him anew with "How's it hanging, Tiny?"

 

A few old-timers knew what to expect and just hung around to watch the fun. The rest were happily enthusing over their good fortune, and swapping items, because none of the curses kicked in until they left the arena.

 

Of course, even the ones that raced back in yelling "Hey! What's wrong with my Exploding Pantaloons?!" soon fled again, because Suna announced she was going to leave now, took one last slightly tearful look around the town she's blown up so many times... and called down a Godly Meteor Strike.

 

Ian will be joining the Champions campaign too, but not just yet - still character-building. Meanwhile, the others PCs are on the move...

 

We figure out that the levitating train we're riding runs on screaming human souls as fuel.

 

Zero
:
:eek:
And do they serve Soylent Green sandwiches in the dining car?

 

Trawler
: It goes to show what kind of group this is, that we consider dog-headed cops normal

Zero
: Quite - pig-headed cops, now...

Laurie
: Them, you get everywhere

 

Zero
: Don't worry Trawler, I'm sure we kind find you some tractor tyres to use as water-wings

 

Weldun, GM
: I've been to Dunscon and all I got was this lousy pair of gargoyle wings grafted to my back. And then I went to Soulharvest... And now I'm immortal
:eg:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Cthulhu campaign - The party want to know more about this Dee Edition version of the Necronomicon.

Me, GM
: Doctor John Dee, court astrologer, diplomat, magician and spy. He even applied his numerology system to the code numbers in his spy ring. His own number was 007.

Murray
: You're kidding
:nonp:

Me, GM
:
. And he translated the Necronomicon into English, which I don't believe we've seen Daniel Craig do yet.

Paddy McGinty OOC
: Right, that's it - I'm reading the Necronomicon to get irresistible sex rays too

Recapping the last session, so many weeks ago

Paddy McGinty
: A werewolf (actually, Vitus) kicked me in the ****s so hard they vanished. Now when I cough I hear a 'rattlerattlerattle'

But later...

Me, GM
: "You know how your ****s only recently became reacquainted with your groin? Well, they want to go on tour again.

 

You'd think he'd learn to start wearing a cup. The party search the farmhouse top to bottom, a few days later after they're been sewn back together and the police eventually leave.

Me, GM
: The laundry has never been used

Player
: Well, it
is
a bachelor pad

 

Paddy McGinty attempts to divert police attention from the existence of homicidal hyena-man sorcerers by claiming the farmhouse's inhabitants were German spies.

Paddy McGinty
: They've been coming around the quarry trying to buy dynamite! They must want to blow up dams and flood America!

Me, GM
: Must be all that experience you had as a sapper - you just keep digging yourself deeper and deeper

 

One of the things they recover from the house, now that Vitus has cleared out, is a small beaker of what hey come to refer to as Super-Booze, and a crumpled recipe apparently in cuneiform. It's Vitus's faulty attempt to make Space Mead. McGinty and Lucy nonetheless mix the stuff with orange-juice and get happily plastered ( Don't you just love players who do stuff like that with unidentified potions?). If he can decipher the recipe McGinty intends to supply the stuff to every speakeasy on the East Coast - it's so potent a few drops makes you sway on your feet.

 

Col. Conrad Lancaster, Retired
: *
On Space Mead & Orange Juice cocktails
* Actually that would be a Space Mead Sunrise

Me, GM
: But
which
sun?
:eg:

 

Paddy McGinty & the Colonel don't really hit it off the first time they meet - Irish vs. English? I'm not surprised.

 

Col. Conrad Lancaster, Retired
: I'm reminded of a young lieutenant, from Dunsborough specifically, who told me that the Irish once saved civilisation. Then they had a few Guinness and forgot where they put it.

 

Paddy McGinty
: I hate you English

Col. Conrad Lancaster, Retired
: The feeling is more than mutual, which is odd because your women are lovely

Paddy McGinty
: And yours lie around like dead fish

This session's adventure revolves around jazz and zombies.

Me, GM
: Will you stop calling it the Devil's Trump? I'm aware that you might not have read
Paradise Lost
, but it's the archangel Gabriel that traditionally carts a trumpet around - the devil has a fiddle.

Col. Conrad Lancaster, Retired
: The angels are the brass section, the devil is the string section. We're the percussion.

And the adventure climaxes with Colonel Lancaster standing on top of a truck blazing away at the encroaching horde of zombies, and singing the Battle Hymn of the Republic

Col. Lancaster
: Mine eyes have seen the BLAM glory of the coming of the Lord:

He is trampling out the vintage BLAM BLAM where the grapes of wrath are BLAM stored;

He hath loosed the fateful BLAM lightning of His BLAM terrible swift BLAM sword:

His truth is marching on BLAM BLAM

But elsewhere at the Guild - Macho women with guns vs. a vampire, in a butcher's shop

Vampire
: "Rarhgh!"

Macho Woman
:
looks down, grabs some of the stock, throws overarm, THUNK

Vampire
:
looks startled, clutches chest
T-bone... Steak... To the heart!

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

And the adventure climaxes with Colonel Lancaster standing on top of a truck blazing away at the encroaching horde of zombies' date=' and singing the [i']Battle Hymn of the Republic[/i]

Col. Lancaster
: Mine eyes have seen the BLAM glory of the coming of the Lord:

He is trampling out the vintage BLAM BLAM where the grapes of wrath are BLAM stored;

He hath loosed the fateful BLAM lightning of His BLAM terrible swift BLAM sword:

His truth is marching on BLAM BLAM

 

 

I would pay money to see this on film.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

 

 

And the adventure climaxes with Colonel Lancaster standing on top of a truck blazing away at the encroaching horde of zombies, and singing the Battle Hymn of the Republic

Col. Lancaster
: Mine eyes have seen the BLAM glory of the coming of the Lord:

He is trampling out the vintage BLAM BLAM where the grapes of wrath are BLAM stored;

He hath loosed the fateful BLAM lightning of His BLAM terrible swift BLAM sword:

His truth is marching on BLAM BLAM

 

Why is an English colonel singing an American battle hymn?:confused:

 

Lucius Alexander

 

The palindromedary sings a jody

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Lucius because Onward Christian soldiers just doesn't sound as cool and morning has broken is right out.

 

Really the battle hymn is probably the only hymn i can think of with the right pace and tone to act as a mantra for keeping oneself psyched up and focused on combat with the undead, rather the unspeakable eldritch horror of the shambling dead.

 

The only other option would be psalm 23

 

The Lord is my shepherd,

I shall not want;

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside still waters;

He restores my soul.

He leads me in paths of righteousness

for His name's sake.

 

Even though I walk through the valley

of the shadow of death,

I fear no evil;

for You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

 

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

all the days of my life;

and I shall dwell in the house of the

Lord forever.

 

appologies for the total derail

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Why is an English colonel singing an American battle hymn?:confused:

 

It's a catchy tune :D

 

More seriously - he most likely heard either whilst fighting alongside American troops during WW1, or thanks to the Salvation Army, who spread the song worldwide.

 

And it IS a catchy tune. After all, they use it in Little Peter Rabbit, and He Jumped From 20,000 Feet ( And He Ain't Gonna Jump No More) too

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Lucius because Onward Christian soldiers just doesn't sound as cool and morning has broken is right out.

 

Really the battle hymn is probably the only hymn i can think of with the right pace and tone to act as a mantra for keeping oneself psyched up and focused on combat with the undead, rather the unspeakable eldritch horror of the shambling dead.

 

The only other option would be psalm 23

 

The Lord is my shepherd,

I shall not want;

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside still waters;

He restores my soul.

He leads me in paths of righteousness

for His name's sake.

 

Even though I walk through the valley

of the shadow of death,

I fear no evil;

for You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

 

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

all the days of my life;

and I shall dwell in the house of the

Lord forever.

 

appologies for the total derail

 

Yeah, but Jules Winnfield has that one all sewn up.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

It's a catchy tune :D

 

More seriously - he most likely heard either whilst fighting alongside American troops during WW1, or thanks to the Salvation Army, who spread the song worldwide.

 

And it IS a catchy tune. After all, they use it in Little Peter Rabbit, and He Jumped From 20,000 Feet ( And He Ain't Gonna Jump No More) too

 

Under the circumstances, I think it was exactly the right tune to be singing.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Lucius because Onward Christian soldiers just doesn't sound as cool and morning has broken is right out.

 

Really the battle hymn is probably the only hymn i can think of with the right pace and tone to act as a mantra for keeping oneself psyched up and focused on combat with the undead, rather the unspeakable eldritch horror of the shambling dead.

 

The only other option would be psalm 23

 

The Lord is my shepherd,

I shall not want;

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside still waters;

He restores my soul.

He leads me in paths of righteousness

for His name's sake.

 

Even though I walk through the valley

of the shadow of death,

I fear no evil;

for You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

 

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

all the days of my life;

and I shall dwell in the house of the

Lord forever.

 

appologies for the total derail

 

In Shadows Angelus, the cyberpunk Cthulhoid game our group played in, my holy-sword-wielding cop used that prayer as his battle cry once.

 

Just to keep the derail from going over the cliff, I agree, the scene is awesome. I'll definitely have to yoink it for a game. :D

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

A couple from our Mean Streets campaign. The cast:

 

Edgar: Gritty P.I. with secretive powers

Sybil: Paris Hilton-clone with ice powers

Gil: rich millionaire with wonderful toys

 

Sybil complains about Gil's penchant for doing background checkes on everybody he meets.

 

Sybil: Maybe I should have someone investigate
you
, Gil.

Gil: Go ahead. My life's an open book. Just be careful which page you open to.

Sybil: Yes, I bet the sticky ones are really nasty.

 

This one might be somewhat naughty, so I'll spoiler it:

 

 

 

Sybil tries to dispel the "myth" of her being air-headed.

 

Sybil: I'll have you know I got high marks in college.
:mad:

Gil: Oh, I'm sure the instructors were quite taken with you.
:rolleyes:

Edgar: Yeah, she graduated summa cum loudly.
:D

 

 

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Some quotes from the most recent Embria game (Our characters are approaching 6th level! :D ):

------------

 

Everyone (at one time or another): You really cant post that!

 

--------------

 

Rhiannon (OOC): ...I have a +2 Swim check in Field Plate armor, including the penalty for my Shield :)

 

Metrion (OOC): So...you use the shield like a boogie board?

 

Rhiannon (OOC): Yeah, basically :D

 

-----------------

 

[somehow the subject of what a real moose call sounds like comes up. If you ever played the MMO Anarchy Online, the Rollerrat sound is actually a moose call]

 

Chyra (OOC): Its this really high-pitched, annoying sound. Probably the most annoying sound in the universe.

 

Rhiannon (OOC): Its no wonder people shoot them!

 

---------------

 

Metrion (OOC): Next time Im going to summon a Celestial Squid! Squid are the sharks of the animal kingdom! :P

 

The Rest of Us: :nonp:

 

-------------

 

Metrion: How badly do we need to get rid of them? If you want me to use one of my spells-

 

Rhiannon (OOC): [phonegirl voice] - Press "7" :D

 

Metrion: *Facepalm*

 

------------

 

Rhiannon: *Fires a commandeered Ork bow at the Ork leader...and rolls a "1" for a total miss*

 

Metrion: *Looks at her askance*

 

Rhiannon: ....Its a new bow. :o

 

Metrion: Pulls to the left?

 

Rhiannon: A little ;)

 

-------------

 

Ork Squad: *Charges at us across the long rope bridge over the Chasm of Doom*

 

Chyra: *Casts SLEEP*

 

Ork Squad: *Fall to their Orky doom*

 

Chyra: :cool:

 

---------------

 

[We hear sounds on the other side of the door, but cant really identify what they are]

 

Metrion: I think that we should kick open the door and boldly stride in, and slay the miscreants!

 

Chyra: I think we should be more careful; I dont want to interrupt a Death Knight at his amusements.

 

---------------

 

Metrion: Ive written a "Mood Chart":

 

MOOD TABLE (Roll d20 for the mood of people, animals, furniture, etc. encountered)

 

1.....Spunky

2.....Angsty

3.....Disaffected

4.....Hot

5.....Palpatating

6.....Suave

7.....Hungry

8.....Sinful

9.....Balding

10...Half-Celestial

11...Threatened

12...Coy

13...Sean Connery

14...Celebratory

15...Nauseated

16...Neurasthenic

17...Garrulous

18...Locquacious

19...Redundant

20...Re-roll twice

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From last nights Monster Hunters game:

 

*****

 

Zeke - Screw legality. We're the good guys.

 

*****

 

Julian - No, I haven't been drinking, and I'm not on drugs. I'm a park ranger.

 

*****

 

Sonia - Zombies were rampaging through the streets... well it wasn't a very fast rampage...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Session 9 of Farlanthia (D&D 4E)

 

Calsar (OOC): "He's splitting the party [up]! Oh no!"

 

Wyk (OOC): "I'm trying to figure out which death note you handed me last game."

 

Calidore (OOC): "Marid bought a new skill: 'lie like a rug'."

 

Wyk (OOC): "I'm keeping a low profile."

Calidore (OOC): "You're a halfling."

Marid (OOC): "It comes naturally."

 

"Crazy Jim's Teleportation Tomb"

 

GM (OOC): "There was a ladder found at the crime scene."

Calidore (OOC): "Wyk kidnapped the Lindbergh baby?"

 

Wyk (OOC): "Have you dealt with with radical religious orders?"

GM: "[Marid's] from Sarldom (a.k.a Persia)...."

 

Marid: "You're playing chess to their checkers, is that it?"

 

Marid: "Note to self, build a wall."

 

Duncan: "Anae, do you want to shift?"

Anae (looks at the battle map): "I'd love to."

 

Duncan to the badly wounded Wyk: "Be healed!"

Wyk (currently a small fuzzy animal): "Baaaahhhh...."

 

Calidore comments on Wyk's ability to keep getting back up: "We're going to change his name from 'Wyk' to 'Weeble'."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Last nights Pathfinder Game

 

Pandora - female ranger who's animal companion is a snake. She is refusing to wear a dress to sneak into a formal event.

 

Pandora - "I'll cut my hair short and make a fake beard and mustache. I'll wear pants. I'll be a guard."

 

GM - "Well, at least you really could say you have a trouser snake."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Metrion: Ive written a "Mood Chart":

 

MOOD TABLE (Roll d20 for the mood of people, animals, furniture, etc. encountered)

 

1.....Spunky

2.....Angsty

3.....Disaffected

4.....Hot

5.....Palpatating

6.....Suave

7.....Hungry

8.....Sinful

9.....Balding

10...Half-Celestial

11...Threatened

12...Coy

13...Sean Connery

14...Celebratory

15...Nauseated

16...Neurasthenic

17...Garrulous

18...Locquacious

19...Redundant

20...Re-roll twice

 

Love the inclusion of "Sean Connery". If you re-roll twice, and get Connery both times, would he be like the one from SNL's "Celebrity Jeopardy" skits?

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Had a gathering of nerds that was supposed to be a Space Opera game, but one of the players is being a complete dram queen, so we just hung out and played Smugglers of the Galaxy

 

I keep accidentally moving the board:

Ben: "Damn it! Stop splitting the universe in two!"

 

Pat, playing Greenbeard, keeps getting shut down in piracy:

Me: "Worst. Pirate. Ever."

 

Best without context:

Ben: "Oh, STARPORT. I was looking at it upside down, I thought it said strapon!"

 

Me: "Mine is the manly blue butt-plug."

 

Me: "Two male characters, three female, and I'm the only one in a dress!" (For those familiar with the game, I was Mikk Staygo, foppiest fop ever)

 

Joke of the evening. Think along the lines of "smacked in the 13's"

"Damn it! You shot me right in the cargo pods!"

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