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Darren Watts

Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


Edge City 3D - Penultimate Issue!

: 12-ft tall, about the same wide

: Genetic warrior, now with a family of clone-siblings

Miss Chaos
: Increasingly frustrated by lack of Nookie

: Autonomous fragment of the Sun, and mobile Chernobyl

: Big-mouth bass, woofer, sub-woofer, tectonic woofer, and Brown Note speakers

: Won't use his his powers for evil - unless he's in his civilian ID

Ferrying PCs & NPCs across the river

: I think I've seen this logic puzzle before.

: The one with the fox and the chicken? Obviously Lori's the fox

: So which one's the chicken?
*long pause*
Oh come on, I feed you a straight-line like that and nobody bites?

Weldun, GM
: Ah, Cerenkov radiation - if you can see it, you're already dead


One of Terminus's fellow clones is more of a mosaic - an anthro canine with the same Terminus-soldier improvements as the human versions.

: I'm guessing she won't appreciate being greeted with "Yo, Bitch"

: I'm needed AND leading the party? What kind of Bizarro reality is this?

Weldun, GM
: Oh, come on - the last time you fought the Black Paladin
attacked him with a

: True... And the team brick was opening doors with a lockpick.

We're joined by a grandfatherly figure riding cross-legged on a rainbow bubble.

: You lot are looking for the Grey Seers. We work with them. We're the bubble-blowers.

: Given he's riding around on one I'm not sure I want to know where he blows it from

Juicer NPC
: What about this guy who can cure you with a tear?

Juicer NPC 2
*Beats fist against palm*
Don't worry, I can make him cry

: Just tell him about the spelling on a WoW server - that'll make most people bawl.

And in Cthulhu - Bless The Beasts And Children

Amy Wells
, daughter of the New England aristocracy, slumming it as a nurse

Paddy McGinty
, proud bearer of an impenetrable Irish accent

Sydney Delthorn
, "Brainy likes his booky-wook"

Col. Conrad Lancaster, Ret.
, collector and trader in strange antiquities

Quizzing Amy's player about whether or not Amy's a Boston Brahmin leads to this old ditty

"So this is good old Boston,

The home of the bean and the cod,

Where the Lowells talk only to Cabots,

And the Cabots talk only to God."

Col. Conrad Lancaster OOC
: Shoggoths are not tribbles and should not be treated as such when encountered


Me, GM
: I don't really need Lucy Smith this session, and it's easy enough to write her out. No doubt she's staying in today, drinking herself further into an alcoholic stupor

Lucy's Player
: How about she got called out of town for a job? Some location filming in New York, maybe?

Me, GM
: Not a Broadway production of
Shoggoth on the Roof

Me, GM,
reviewing the PCs
: We've got lapsed Catholics, Irish Protestants, Russian Orthodox, Anglicans, and the comic relief - also known as Unitarians

Me, GM
: No, you are not going to crossbreed pitbulls and Hounds of Tindalos. **** off.

PCs spot a clue - children's cutlery in a childless house

Farmers wife
: We had the niece and nephew over a week ago

Col. Conrad Lancaster, Ret.
: So you haven't done the dishes in a week?

Me, GM
: *
* Good point.

Lancaster parks himself on a clifftop, reloading his rifle and taking potshots at unarmed nannies as they escape out to sea in dinghies

Col. Conrad Lancaster, Ret.
: So... Battle Hymn? No, inappropriate under the circumstances. Ah, I have it -
'Rule Britannia, Britannia rule the waves,

dum dum dummiliddydumdum, dum dum dum'

Me, GM
reconstructing villain's backstory
: ...and dragged back to shore, rolled over to see the face of his rescuer...

Delthorn, OOC
: ribbit

Lancaster donates a large sum to the Massachusetts State Hospital For The Insane

Col. Conrad Lancaster, Ret.
: Especially for anybody that gets brought in raving about monsters and alien gods.

Me, GM
: So you'd like to fund the wing for people driven insane by the party's 'leisure activities'?

Col. Conrad Lancaster, Ret.
: Not just us - I'm financing the Clue Factory

Paddy acquires a flashy Packard car, more Tommy guns, and some violin cases

Col. Conrad Lancaster, Ret. OOC
: He's getting in on the bottom floor there...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


Netzilla couldn't be present for Saturday's game, but one quote from the session:


"I won't have you questioning my intelligence!"


"I'm not questioning your intelligence, I'm questioning your plan."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


I forgot one last week, from Bench Transformers:



DM describes the secret base, and the hidden mission of

the Transformers on the east coast:


Crow-Bar:(incredulously) we...we...we're an Auto-Bot sleeper cell !!!


DM: indubitably




expect more robotic goodness tonight!

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


Haven't played in over a month, but last night finished the module "Shades of Black."; which was well liked.


Me as GM, trying to herd cats. (Trying to stop the chitchat and start the game.) "Ok, it's time for death and destruction." Pretty much in unison both players ooc say "Death and destruction! Yea!"


I have 3 gm run characters as they need them. One will very shortly be retired and I will temporarily add a new one. (plot device)


Cast of Characters:

Disarray: mentalist and tk specialist

Silverswirl: Energy user from another dimension

Volt (mine): team leader and energy user

Black Tiger (mine): Martial artist

Olorin (mine) Mage and large vpp user (with oddball restrictions)


Scene: climax of Module. Olorin has imprisoned Black Paladin, but can do almost nothing else. Chantal is back and gloating. Then I make a verbal slip and say "Black Paladin is on Chatnal" Meaning to say Black Tiger and that he was attacking her. Smut field was apparently on.


Disarray (ooc) "In the middle of battle? Can't he wait?"

Silverswirl (ooc) "We really don't need to see that."


Both the above more than once said something to the effect of "Aw, true lust. How sweet." in refence to Black Paladin and Chantal. In character

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


Bench Transformers: LINK (Auto-Bots in BESM-D20 Sci-Fi)


The PC Party: Griffon the News Van, HRT the Bus, and Chessex the Train

get waylaid by a blob of toxic sludge. The cleanup and aftermath

was quite informative:


HRT: what kind of slime-bag planet are we on ?

Griffon: You mean it's only a Wealth-Check 12 to bribe a cop in this town?

GM: DC 15, 15, I meant 15 !




Chessex: where there's a wheel, there's a way.





The only way the team can think of to rescue a hostage

is blow through the front of the building in vehicle form,

switch to mecha-form, and fight it out:


HRT & GM in unison: This is why we can't have nice things.



Finally it is decided to belay the rescue plan

and try to do it with some stealth later on.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


From GenCon again:


I played in a Stargate Atlantis game. Believe it or not, I've never watched the show, although I have some familiarity with the premise from having watched the original movie and the first series. I like the premise, even though they stole it from Chaosium's Future World!


So I'm totally unfamiliar with the character, who is the head of the medical department, but I was told I did well with her anyway.


At the start of the game, the Game Operations Director gave the day and time, mentioned a couple of things that were going on, and went around and asked each player "what are you doing right now?"


Me: "I'm making a list of candidates and writing a request to have a top genetics specialist brought in, and equipment for DNA analysis. I'm thinking if we can examine their mitochondrial DNA and haplogroups, we can figure out how long ago the local Humans split off genetically from the Humans of Earth."


I was told that was an excellent thing to be doing.


Later, when what was supposed to be a routine trip to an outpost planet turns into a crisis (predictably) : "Cutting edge scientific research, they said. First rate, fully funded lab, they said. They didn't mention the part about getting stranded on some hostile alien planet and getting shot at by even more hostile alien beings!"


I said something like that more than once, variations on that theme. Another repeating theme, after things like seeing the victims of ghoulish alien life draining powers : "I take it all back. I don't care what I have to do to help you guys. I do NOT want these things alive in the same universe with me."


After looking at the data from the computer in an alien laboratory complete with one dead Human experimental subject who looked like a caricature of an obsessive body builder : "This stuff is like steroids on steroids. I can think of six different ways it would kill a Human being and no telling which way this man died."


And finally, when back "home" in her own lab : "I'm going to analyze the data and the samples we got from that mad scientist's excuse for a lab, in case I ever have to treat someone who's been subjected to that stuff who hasn't died of it yet."


Lucius Alexander


Stargate Palindromedary

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


More quotes from Teh Bunneh's D&D 4th campaign - Bloodmäter.


I'm fairly certain I missed some good ones....haven't been doing my best on noting 'em down. :o




The Party


Brontus Rexx: A barbarian from a far-off land, kidnapped by slavers at a young age and forced to fight in the gladiatorial pits. Recently freed from bondage and seeking a new life.

Clio: A tiefling paladin, servant of the goddess of death. She is trying to atone for a terrible crime she committed as a youth.

Rody Falcos: Elven ne'er-do-well and con artist. He's the son of a wealthy merchant; he was left behind when the caravan master decided he'd had enough of the young rascal's shenanigans.

Hakkoz Stoneshanks: A dwarven priest, his tragic past has shaped him into the bold hero he is today.

Alix Twilight: An animalistic shaman from the deep deserts that surround Bloodmäter on 3 sides; she can barely contain the bestial fury within her.

Paxton Lux: A young human fighter who adventures in the hopes of finding out who she really is.

Justine: Newest member of the party with the description of: "Warlock chick."

Berrian Wildheart (NPC): A cheerful young gnome wizard; apprentice to the most powerful and famous wizard in the city.




The party takes the Unaligned option very seriously at times...

Clio: Why is the Tiefling always having to take the moral high ground?


While scheming on how to get an ex-cultist safely out of the city, a plan involving murder, dismemberment, and subsequent resurrection is suggested...

Justine: Um, any plan that involves resurrection is probably already failed.

(This has now become a recurring joke in the game...)


The party is ambushed in the back alleys of the city...

Brontus: Those aren't hobos! They're ratmen!


The newest Troubleshooter finds herself set upon by half the ambushing force...

Justine: Please don't kill the first level hot chick. :help:


Teh Bunneh updates the players on the status of some of the bad guys...

GM: Okay, these two guys here are bloodied. This ratman fighting Brontus is also bloodied...but only because his partner recently exploded right next to him...


Alix flubs an attack roll and the GM inquires...

GM: Are we wasting a reroll?

Alix: It's not wasting!!


Commentary as the ratmen attack with anything available, particularly stink arrows...

Justine: Who's your arms dealer...Oscar the Grouch?


The ex-cultist, Peter, has been running about trying to evade the attackers. While he is hiding behind Brontus, the barbarian brutally kills two foes at once...

Peter (NPC): You remember I'm on your team, right? :angst:

Brontus: Yes, you are....so sit the hell down! :mad:


Alix attempts a Heal check on the fallen Rody despite having been blinded by a wizard spell a moment earlier...

Brontus: You're doing first aid blind!

GM: She's feeling her way through it.


Random resurrection comment...

Justine: Oh, heck, you only live once.

GM: Unless you get resurrected.


The nasty enemy spellcaster is finally whittled down to the point that Berrian finishes him off with a Cloud of Daggers spell...

Hexer (NPC): Killed...by...first-level spell...the humiliation....


Rody is dropped to zero hit points twice in the battle. The first time, he is revived by Alix. The second time, it's by Clio.

Brontus: I think Rody gets himself knocked out just so the beautiful women will come and rescue him.


There's no love for the gnome...

Justine: I still say that burning gnome should constitute a missile weapon.

Berrian (NPC): I object! :mad:


Random comment...

Brontus (OOC): Using two rods at once is just being greedy.


Rody tries to talk Brontus into taking a typical barbarian trophy...

Rody: You could chop off ears and wear 'em as a necklace.

Brontus: That's unhygenic.

Pax: Can we talk about your pet rat head?


During a discussion about the nastier and nastier plans the party seems to come up with...

Pax (OOC): We're shifting toward evil alignment.

GM: I call that character development! :eg:


A second ambush has the added complications of innocents in the way, which doesn't seem to be a problem for the team's druid...

GM: The entire bridge is filled with travelers and bystanders.

Brontus (OOC): So we can assume any area effect power kills extra civilians?

Alix (OOC): Not me! My powers only affects 'enemies!'

Brontus (OOC): So if you throw down a spell and guys drop over dead, we don't need to feel guilty.


Berrian takes damage and complains, prompting an inside joke...

Brontus: It's good for you, Berrian.

Berrian (NPC): In what way?

Alix and Justine: It builds character! :D


Alix is impressed with one of the enemy's skills...

Alix (OOC): If I kill her, can I take her feats?







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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


More quotes from Teh Bunneh's D&D 4th campaign - Bloodmäter.


Alix flubs an attack roll and the GM inquires...

GM: Are we wasting a reroll?

Alix: It's not wasting!!


Cleo flubs an attack roll and the GM states...

GM: You do have a reroll.

Cleo (OOC): *I'm* not wasting a reroll on a minion!

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


Alix is impressed with one of the enemy's skills...

Alix (OOC): If I kill her, can I take her feats?







Taking her feets?


And she thought that the pet rat head was unsanitary? :help:


Haven't had a chance to use this line yet, but I can only imagine it's coming forth eventually. There will be *something* slimy and well defended that she has to take down (the giant frogs were close to it):


Steele: Why don't I use my knockout kiss on it? Even I have standards. Sure, they're low, but they're still standards!


On an unrelated (but brief) note, I have a plotting post up at the Wolfemann's Den (link in the sig line) that includes some info on a small contest I'm running. Batman fans might be interested in it.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


Why are you going around with a wet carp in your pants?




You never know when you might need to smack someone.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


This past tuesday, I wrapped up my last SPIRIT arc before 6th edition. The PC's were dealing with an unusual threat. Mandala, India's most powerful supervillainess, who can split into eight different superbeings, threatened a town in Jordan with Nuclear Destruction. Her sister had been honor killed there.


When the PC's investigated the crime, they discovered that the man's father had turned her over to a mob that clubbed her to death. One of the PC's told him this, and told him they had enough evidence to prosecute him in court. The man then shouted "Efreet, help me."


One of the players was like "And he's summoning a Genie? That's not very islamic."


Me: No. That's the name of an islamic superhero. They will defend his right to honor kill his son and his son's wife.


Players: You have GOT to be kidding me.


The fight was pretty nasty, but the PC's did win, thanks to one of the PC's having the foresight to bring Mandala with them everywhere, and the islamic sorcerer getting stuck in his magic bag for three days. (Don't ask)


Fedayheen: Well, it looks like you're very well physically defended. Let's see how your mind survives.


Mandala: My mind exists in 632 subdimensions simultaneously. Do your worst.


(Fedayheen rolls to hit Mandala, deals 32 EGO stun on 6d6)


Lightbinder (OOC): Looks like he hit a hundred and fifty seven of them.

Mandala: It looks like you get all of your powers out of that little bag. Let me leave you holding it.


Fedayheen: Don't be ridiculous. You can't do that. (ZARK-Fwoom!) (Fedayheen stares as the bag pops open from the eyebeams and then is rudely sucked in)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


Last gaming session I was reminded of an old quote from D&D. Often the group I was in was distrusted in villages, even if they were needed. We got irritated at it and decided to get snarky. We had a halfling rogue who had a babyface and therefore looked like a human child (And used it shamelessly). We started doing a chant. I wish I could say it, it has a good meter. Group: "Rape. Kill. Pillage and burn. Rape kill pillage and burn." Halfling: "Eat babies!" Repeat as needed. Everyone in the group always gave the halfing a "Whaa???" look even though he always did it. (Part of the routine.) Became a running gag.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


We had a running gag in D&D as well... Our Cleric, Brona, had a familiar. It was a raven named Renoir who was the most charismatic talking raven ever. He had a habit of (when meeting new people) saying "Hello friend, you seem trustworthy. Would you care to join our party?"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


This week's fantasy campaign.


Gramps (fire mage) with help from the GM to get the wording just right "I'm going to bust a ruby to shoot the blue ball with a scorching ray."

All: laughter

GM: I need to get out more.

iPod (on shuffle): Dream On, Dream on

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