BoloOfEarth Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... And just how many appliances are designed to shock you' date=' one wonders.[/quote'] If it works past the 1-year warranty period, I'm pretty much shocked. But we're getting off topic. Here's one from an email from a player, about things he's adding to his character: TF: Combat Aircraft, Industrial & Exploration Spacecraft (Which will take effect after I finish Earnhart's "How Not to Crash" Flight School Training.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manic Typist Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I enjoyed this one from our high-level Exalted game tonight. "This is a little embarrassing, but we kinda got lost and found ourselves by Thorns. One thing lead to another, and we ended up blowing up Mask of Winter's house again." -Adama, Golden Herald of the Dawn This is amusing. Can you explain? (I know nothing about Exalted) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Querysphinx Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From 7th Sea Pirate Group: Nikkita Vast, Russian pirate. Ship's botswain. Keeper of the book of rules. Petra Teenaged Russian ship's mascot. Six feet tall. Pretty in pink. Deadly with an axe. Has a tendency to morph into an otter. Alfredo Ship's nominal captain. Pia Brilliant, passionate, Italian navigator. Recently voted most likely to be stripped naked by a sea-monster. Explaining Nikkita's personality to a captive NPC whom Nikkita has threatened with death. Petra: Nikkita is a teddy bear at heart. Alfredo: But what is he at arm's length? The ship has been raided by a malevolent spirit that has trashed the chartroom. Alfredo: How bad is it? Pia: (Tosses some map-confetti in the air) We used to have an ocean with a shape. Explaining Nikkita's tendency to threaten hyperviolence on any boy who approached within fifteen feet of Petra: Petra Nikkita is sort of like a were-father. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Netzilla Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Email exchange referencing this Saturday's coming game: Player S: Just to let everyone know, I won't be at the game this Saturday! Somebody kill something for me. SCUBAHero: Well, I'll be there (finally!) and Danny's a bit behind on killing things, so.... GM: Duly noted: SCUBA wants Danny to encounter things that kill. SCUBAHero: Fine. Just as long as they're not psychotic, knife-wielding dream-clowns. GM: How about psychotic, knife-wielding mimes? SCUBAHero: BASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRDDDDDD!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
novi Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... This is amusing. Can you explain? (I know nothing about Exalted) Explaining everything would take an awful long time. Simply, Adama is one of the PCs. He was speaking to an important NPC arranging a meeting (Memnon, if you must know). We went off course on our way to that meeting due to my character's limit break (a powerful curse many important people in the in the setting suffer from, including all PCs, that causes them to act strangely under certain circumstances). Thorns is a city that has been taken over by the villain Mask of Winters to be his base of operations. Simply, he's a megalomaniacal necromancer ghost/lich thingy. And the last time we were there, it ended in the destruction of his stronghold. As it did this time, as well. Okay, by this time, we've found the airship and restored the superweapon on it, so we just had to shoot at the foundation of his tower to bring it down after he started firing things at us. He started it, honest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Mackinder Posted November 7, 2009 Report Share Posted November 7, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... He started it' date=' honest. [/quote'] Don't they always? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Holck Posted November 7, 2009 Report Share Posted November 7, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The night had been a rough one for the Jolly Ranchers. (Name and sponsorship may change soon due to protest of the players) After first discovering a werewolf in Senator Hook's mansion, two of the players were severely wounded but the beast had escaped into a wooded river valley and pursuit of the rabid monster was intermediately necessary. The players had no method to regain lost body so depended on the paramedics that showed up on the scene. Knowing the fight was not over, I opted to allow some repair rolled a die that came up 6 for the martial artist meaning they restored 6 body: an astounding amount for paramedics to provide. I stated that they had popped his shoulder back into place and quoted Kung Fu Hustle. "He recovers quickly." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... No Champions again - I was working until 3 But we did get a few rounds of the in Purrdence : You realise that if you play [Ellen Tigh] you'll have to sleep with him [ Sundog is playing Brother Cavil ] Me : *pause. Puts Ellen Tigh card at bottom of stack* Me : Two 8s in a row... Purrdence : *snerk* smut field engaged... Me : Hmm? Purrdence : Two Eights in a row? Me : ...Oh. Sundog : I'm sure there's slash-fiction about that... Weldun : There is. Purrdence : WWSD - What Would Starbuck Do? Me : Fly it, frak it, frak it up, or drink it. Or possibly smoke it. Sundog playing Cavil : I don't have any Treachery cards Me : Cavil with no treachery? Who are you and what have you done with the real Cylon? Purrdence : We've been frakked by the big blue dildo of Destiny Purrdence : Every time I see that Maximum Firepower card it looks like a porcupine fish. Me : Launch porcupine fish! BWOMPH!!! Starbuck faces off against a wave of Cylon Raiders Me : That's not good. She's all out of porcupine fish Me playing Gaius Baltar : My Movement is to run around in a circle, and my Action is to mash the keyboard in the Main Batteries. Sundog : Which one are they targeting? Me playing Gaius Baltar : The Galactica. Because it's the one I'm not on. Purrdence : That's our Gaius... Draws the next Crisis card, and looks up at Weldun, who is playing the now President-Admiral Helena Cain Me playing Gaius Baltar : I hate you Weldun playing President-Admiral Cain : Why? Me : *paraphrases card* The president may have the current player executed, or lose two skill cards etc etc etc Weldun : *surprises me by not having Gaius thrown out an airlock* See? When you're not distracted by politics you're actually useful Unfortunately the incoming Cylon missiles nuke the Admiral's Quarters and the Airlock Weldun playing President-Admiral Cain : Now who hates who? *realises something else* Hey! With those gone I can't have anybody executed! Bastards! Purrdence playing Starbuck : There is one way we can prove that Gaius isn't a Cylon... Me playing Gaius Baltar : Will you stop trying to get into my pants again? I do have some morals. Sundog : What? We've got Starbuck, Baltar, Cavil & Admiral 'Lunatic' Cain! WHAT morals??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Well' date=' we could start with a Flash with a linked Ego-based Entangle, only versus those with appropriate sexuality... [/quote'] I posted a write up for a similar character named Godiva. Might still be around somewhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egyptoid Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 Bench Transformers - D20 BESM forgot this one from last week: "Look who brought a tri-corder to a gun-fight" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Querysphinx Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From Teh Bunneh's Bloodmnater D&D game: Alix: Shapeshifter, druid, source of cat-girl jokes, possessor of the fail field (worst dice ever). Brontus: Human? Barbarian. Large, dangerous... occasionally even more so. Hakkoz: Dwarf. Cleric. Obsessed with tar-covered logs. Pax: Human Fighter. Only nominally in the same game as the rest of us. Justine: Human. Warlock. Hot Asian chick. Naked bungee jumper. Players are entering the wizard's tower. One player keeps rearranging the miniature terrain on the battle map. Alix: Hold on a minute; I think someone is in the middle of modding the tower. Players are engaged in a skill challenge to convince an absent-minded mage that he needs to be rescued from aforementioned tower. Pax: I use my endurance skill to stay awake while they talk about books. *promtly rolls a 1, critical failure* And I fall asleep. GM: And Pax will take no further part in this skill challenge. Party discusses tactics for escorting the mage through a shanty town filled with pirates. Hakkoz: First we roll flaming logs down the hill into the pirate town... then we resurrect. Justine: Mental note: The dwarf is not in charge. Party is navigating the pirate town without too much difficulty. Alix: I keep waiting for something to go wrong... outside of my personal universe where everything goes wrong. The PC's board an airship and Hakkoz is recruited to tune up the engines. Much metallic banging and clanging ensues. Hakkoz: I think I fixed it. Alix: Fixed as in neutered. Justine gets knocked off the airship while in flight over sea of deadly mist. Alix moves to rescue her. Brontus: If there's anyone who can make plummeting to your death off the side of an airship worse, it would be Alix. After Alix successfully saves Justine... Justine: (Freaking out) I saw the bottom of the ship. You're not supposed to see the bottom of the ship while it's moving! I'm trying myself to the mast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Netzilla Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The cast of our Monster Hunter game: Kayla a psychic ninja on the run for kidnapping her younger sister, Molly. Mike, a half-angle who, due to a psychic accident, ended up switching bodies with the 17 year old Molly. Zeke a demon possessed private investigator Julian a Vodun park ranger Danny a ghost-hunting martial artist ****** A quote I missed from our game 2 weeks ago: [Zeke has been giving Mike a hard time over the body switch thing.] Mike - Don't make me seduce you. Julian - You wouldn't like him when he seduces you. ****** Okay, the rest are from last night's game: ****** Kayla - I'm kind of off the killing. GM - Yeah, she's trying to cut back. ****** Zeke - They weren't bad guys anymore. They were the corpses of bad guys at that point. ****** Julian - I don't need amenities. I just need my head on my shoulders; that's all the amenities I need. ******* Kayla - Don't touch her! Mike [looking down at Molly's body which he's currently stuck in] - How can I not? Kayla - Don't touch you! ****** Zeke - Julian, can we borrow your truck? Julian - What for? Zeke - Haul some wood. Julian (suspicious) - What for? Zeke - You familiar with the phrase, 'plausible deniability'? Julian - [sigh] Here's the keys. ****** Julian - Danger is our middle name. Unfortunately, our last name is "us". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Holck Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Mike - Don't make me seduce you. Julian - You wouldn't like him when he seduces you. lol I played what looked like an intellect devourer called the "Brain" in a Golden Age Campaign. Technically, it was a conglomerations of brains pulled from victims in a Nazi concentration camp. It wasn't pleased with its creator. I bought it a 60 presence and 30 comeliness which irked the other players to no end as they could not consider a giant brain with lion claws beautiful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susano Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Session 12 of Farlanthia (D&D 4E) Random comment: "Petrified Gazebo" Duncan to Nayumi: "How important is your brother?" Nayumi: "He's my brother. How important is your brother?" Duncan: "Dead." GM makes an attack roll: "Will a..." Anae: "No." GM: *pause* "That's not convincing enough." Anae: "Now I'm going to..." Computer in the corner: **beep** Everyone: Duncan (OOC): "What's her Comeliness?" GM: "That's Nayumi's mother!" Calidore (OOC): "I've got four letters for you...." Madrigan (NPC) speaks to the party: "Your 'deaths' may come in handy." It's noted that there are seven of us versus an army. Calidore (OOC): "Well, Duncan is Yul Brenner and I'm Steve McQueen. The rest of you are in trouble." Calidore (OOC): "Your character is a bard, right?" Marid (OOC): "Yeah." Calidore (OOC): "What does he play?" Wyk (OOC): "Other people." Duncan (OOC): "You've just bribed a guard with his own money! You deserve what ever happens [next]!" Wyk (OOC): "This is how the world works! You're just too naive to realize it!" Anae to Wyk: "Don't make me regret I ever healed you." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egyptoid Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 Bench Transformers - D20 BESM Griffon: tell me the bad guys don't have any followers or flunkies, please. GM: yeah, the Decepti-Crumbs. The team hacker has failed 3 computer skill checks in a row. And everyone including the DM has commented upon this. player, angry: well I'll just transform into an Auto-Hydrant and you can all hike a leg over me! Pimpticon is down and out. Crowbar: anyone got the cell numbers of his Hobots? Chessex: I'm not that kind of Transformer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Not from my gaming group, but from the only computer game I play these days (except Tetris) - Galactic Civilizations An alien menace is trying to extort resources with the threat of force. The dialogue option whereby I express refusal read something like "We Humans have been killing each other for centuries. If you'd like to join our party, feel free." I couldn't have said it better myself. Lucius Alexander The palindromedary is not a party to the killing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deadborder Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Last night's session was actually all planning for the next D&D Game. Even then, it produced some corkers. Names changed to protect the guilty: Waffers: I got it! my character's mummy was a witch doctor. he went out to get some shrooms for her, and somebody stood on them. I was like "Hey man, don't touch my shrooms" and got angry at him, so I chased him into the city and got lost and confused. Me: I thought he was going to be a basketballer and run around in a loincloth (Well, actually play an anchient Mesoamerican ball game that is similar to Basketball, but yeah) Waffers: Well, he became a basketballer after he got to the city and forgot what he was doing Bill: I thought the idea was to gather shrooms, not eat them Waffers: He has a big ball Me: Given the tiny little loincloths that those mesoamerican basketballers wore, that much should be obvious Me: Bill, why do you allways pick the mini with the shiniest buttcheeks? Bill: Because all the male minis are crap Me: They're also sculpted by guys, so the two may not be unreleated. Bill: Like you can talk; your mini isn't even wearing pants; and I can see her butt cleavage Me: At least it's not shiny (I use an on-line rnadom fantasy name generator) Me: "Cevornia?" That sounds like the name of a former Soviet republic Waffers: Does she glow in the dark? Waffers: No, I got it! His Witchdoctor mummy was kidnapped while he was out gathering shrooms for her, so he's gone to the big city to find her and to play basketball. Me: I will avange you, mother! But first I must win the playoffs! Me: My character's a mercenary badarse with big... swords Bill: And no pants Me: Doesn't matter, you'll be staring at her... swords Waffers: I could be a n00b monk Bill: I thought you said a "nude" monk Me: Well, given that monks don't wear armour... Waffers: (reading rules) What's a Ki pool? Me: Its where you keep your ornamental carp Me: The idea behind a Monk is that you achive enlightenment by beating people up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deadborder Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... And, as a bonus, from the Star Hero game: The situation: We've laid a trap for the Big Bad Alien Prince, but now he's escaping. We've been trying to stop him, but all our shots are either missing or hitting for tiny amouts of STUN and BODY Me: Where did we get these stupid guns? (Hits for 7 BODY and 35 STUN) Me: Never mind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Holck Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I like low dice games the probability curves are wider Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deadborder Posted November 9, 2009 Report Share Posted November 9, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... And finally, and only 99% unrelated, QotW from a member of my WoW guild over Vent: Kilim: If there's One thing I've leanred in life, it's never to fry something while naked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost-angel Posted November 9, 2009 Report Share Posted November 9, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Justine: Human. Warlock. Hot Asian chick. Naked bungee jumper. I see what you did there. She's never been bungee jumping . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Mackinder Posted November 9, 2009 Report Share Posted November 9, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I see what you did there. She's never been bungee jumping . . . Not yet. That you know of ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted November 9, 2009 Report Share Posted November 9, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... A few from last night's D&D 4.0 game: After some hilarious but highly off-color comments from various players: Immeral (OOC): You know I can't actually use any of these quotes, don't you? One of the players (who plays our gnome wizard Renn) wasn't there, so we talked about the various things that Renn was going to do in the player's absence. This happened while we were camped at a deserted Dwarf mining camp, inside a deserted building for the night. We heard some wolves howling outside. DM: So, Renn was on first watch. Outside? Immeral: Yeah, in that goat costume. Through the barred window, we see something moving around outside, but can't see what it is. Willow (our shaman, talking to Isari): So, are you going to toss some goat meat outside? Immeral: I'm just a city boy, and even *I* know it's not a smart idea to toss food to wild animals... The next night, we're camping just off the road. Willow's player is putting our character minis on the map, and he puts Immeral's figure in the center of the map and, distracted by something else, sets everybody else's figures down off to the side of the map. Immeral: What am I? Bait?! The party is attacked by fey panthers, and one pounces on Isari. DM: It does 7 damage. Isari: It also takes 7 points radiant damage. Rivenar: I'll stop six of that damage. DM: Against the cat? (imitates panther) Hey, dude, thanks! I'll eat you last! The next day we're back on the road heading for some ruins up in the mountains. At one point the dwarves apparently cut a channel through part of the mountain, with some columns of rock to either side of the road. The DM draws it out on the map board, and Immeral's player places his figure in the middle of the road. Immeral: You know, this would be the perfect site for an ambush. Only a fool would walk down the middle of this road. Right, guys? (looks around) Um, guys? After a few heroes make Perception rolls, the DM places four counters on the map, peeking out from behind the rocks. Isari: There's a humanoid among the boulders. Rivenar: Only one? Isari: No. Many. Rivenar: Then it's not "a" humanoid, now, is it? Immeral: Oh, you think now is the time to correct his grammar? The four are wights, and during the ensuing battle a fifth one appears on the other side of the road. DM: It's a wight, but it doesn't look like the other ones... Immeral: It's an off-wight. Years ago, someone had accidentally used permanent markers on the map board, so in one spot is a circle with "tree" written in the middle, and another spot has a red circle with "fire" written in it. Renn is moving his mini, and goes through the "fire" square. Rivenar (imitating Renn): Ow! Ow! Hot foot! In addition to causing damage to us, the wights are also stealing our Healing Surges. Immeral: Can I use an action point to get a Healing Surge too? DM: Sure. Better use 'em while you still got 'em. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manic Typist Posted November 9, 2009 Report Share Posted November 9, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Isari: There's a humanoid among the boulders. Rivenar: Only one? Isari: No. Many. Rivenar: Then it's not "a" humanoid, now, is it? Immeral: Oh, you think now is the time to correct his grammar? Technically, there is nothing wrong or ungrammatical about Isari's statement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red_eagle123 Posted November 9, 2009 Report Share Posted November 9, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The PC's are discussing where to go for a vacation with an NPC (Darwin): Sorcha: I hear Aruba is nice this time of year Darwin: 99 out of 100 students agree that Aruba is a good destination Charles: What are you talking about? Darwin: You know, that news story about... What was it, Natalee... Hallway or something, well I guess it doesn't matter now. PC's: *stunned silence* Jennifer (OOC?): wow, you're going to a special kind of hell, aren't you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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