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Darren Watts

Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Player: "My character's name is 9th Dan Smith."

GM (confused): "But you said you were playing a mentalist character, not a martial artist."

Player: "I am. But my character's dad had nine sons and named them all Daniel. My character's the youngest, so he's 'Ninth Dan'."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The supers campaign I am playing with my elementary-school-aged kids continues to be an educational experience for all of us. My daughter's character has a DNPC roommate named Wendy Tuttle (for some reason no one can get this name right and she is forever being called Wendy Tuffie or Turtle or Truffle, but that is beside the point). Anyway, she hasn't quite grasped that a DNPC might be an annoyance for the hero, but they have to be protected, because, well, you're a hero. My son doesn't quite get it either. The heroes have contacted a morally ambigious wizard called Blackstone that is summoning exceptionally dangerous monsters for various purposes.

 

Whirlwind: "I invite Wendy Tuffie to our meeting with Blackstone."

GM (me): "Um, you realize that this might be dangerous..."

Whirlwind: "Exactly! That way if anything goes wrong, Wendy might get killed and I won't have to have a stupid roommate anymore."

GM: "Uhh, you aren't supposed to try and get your roommate killed..."

Iceman: "I know! Wendy is always baking stuff, ask her to bring brownies!"

Whirlwind: "Yeah, that way Blackstone will like her and maybe they can get married and go away together."

Iceman: "No, poison the brownies! Then you can get rid of both of them at the same time!"

GM: "You can't make poison brownies!"

Iceman: "Yes I can! I'll use my knowledge of Chemistry to figure out a good poison. What do I have to roll?"

 

Needless to say, motivating these heroes is taking some doing.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The supers campaign I am playing with my elementary-school-aged kids continues to be an educational experience for all of us. My daughter's character has a DNPC roommate named Wendy Tuttle (for some reason no one can get this name right and she is forever being called Wendy Tuffie or Turtle or Truffle, but that is beside the point). Anyway, she hasn't quite grasped that a DNPC might be an annoyance for the hero, but they have to be protected, because, well, you're a hero. My son doesn't quite get it either. The heroes have contacted a morally ambigious wizard called Blackstone that is summoning exceptionally dangerous monsters for various purposes.

 

Whirlwind: "I invite Wendy Tuffie to our meeting with Blackstone."

GM (me): "Um, you realize that this might be dangerous..."

Whirlwind: "Exactly! That way if anything goes wrong, Wendy might get killed and I won't have to have a stupid roommate anymore."

GM: "Uhh, you aren't supposed to try and get your roommate killed..."

Iceman: "I know! Wendy is always baking stuff, ask her to bring brownies!"

Whirlwind: "Yeah, that way Blackstone will like her and maybe they can get married and go away together."

Iceman: "No, poison the brownies! Then you can get rid of both of them at the same time!"

GM: "You can't make poison brownies!"

Iceman: "Yes I can! I'll use my knowledge of Chemistry to figure out a good poison. What do I have to roll?"

 

Needless to say, motivating these heroes is taking some doing.

 

No kidding....

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Iceman: "No, poison the brownies! Then you can get rid of both of them at the same time!"

GM: "You can't make poison brownies!"

Iceman: "Yes I can! I'll use my knowledge of Chemistry to figure out a good poison. What do I have to roll?"

 

Needless to say, motivating these heroes is taking some doing.

 

As the father of a self-professed "evil genius", I feel your pain.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

An assassinine comment

 

Lucius Alexander

 

The palindromedary wonders where Vitus was that November, speaking of gassy gnolls....

 

gassy? gassy? Vitus isn't gassy. He has plenty of other faults, true. Such as a ruthless streak so broad it makes his colleagues swear, and a serious need for some self-awareness if not actual enlightenment. I suppose you could say he's a super-callous-frakking-mystic-gnoll-who-needs-some-gnosis.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The supers campaign I am playing with my elementary-school-aged kids continues to be an educational experience for all of us. My daughter's character has a DNPC roommate named Wendy Tuttle (for some reason no one can get this name right and she is forever being called Wendy Tuffie or Turtle or Truffle, but that is beside the point). Anyway, she hasn't quite grasped that a DNPC might be an annoyance for the hero, but they have to be protected, because, well, you're a hero. My son doesn't quite get it either. The heroes have contacted a morally ambigious wizard called Blackstone that is summoning exceptionally dangerous monsters for various purposes.

 

Whirlwind: "I invite Wendy Tuffie to our meeting with Blackstone."

GM (me): "Um, you realize that this might be dangerous..."

Whirlwind: "Exactly! That way if anything goes wrong, Wendy might get killed and I won't have to have a stupid roommate anymore."

GM: "Uhh, you aren't supposed to try and get your roommate killed..."

Iceman: "I know! Wendy is always baking stuff, ask her to bring brownies!"

Whirlwind: "Yeah, that way Blackstone will like her and maybe they can get married and go away together."

Iceman: "No, poison the brownies! Then you can get rid of both of them at the same time!"

GM: "You can't make poison brownies!"

Iceman: "Yes I can! I'll use my knowledge of Chemistry to figure out a good poison. What do I have to roll?"

 

Needless to say, motivating these heroes is taking some doing.

 

Trying to get the DNPC killed by poisoning the brownings, and killing the possible villian with the same brownies?

"Heroes"?

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

A few comments from two recent play sessions.

 

First up is the pre-play session for a 4E D&D game.

Nate was playing Wyk, a halfling rogue. But Wyk didn't mesh well with the party so he was swapped out at level 11 for a new PC.

 

Josh: "What happened to Wyk?"

Michael: "He got underfoot."

 

Nate (on his new character): "I'm only a hybrid monk. Monk lite. The diet coke of monk."

 

Next up is session two of Yar's Cosmic Supers Game, where we run 700 point 6E PCs against an alien invasion of Earth.

 

Bedlam comments on a mucus coated room: "We're in the great sinus."

 

GM: "Roll low."

Gravitas: "11" (on 2d6)

The Rest of the Table: "Not that!"

 

Star Power on the aliens: "Dude? Your special effect suck."

 

Quantum Girl comments on someone's damage dice: "33 on 11d6? If you were rolling for sh*t, you wouldn't even get a whiff!"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Shadow run ed? several years ago.

My character: Human with some bioware and a Salette gaurdian

Fellow Runner: Large Troll with Panther Assualt cannon

 

My team were sent after a female elf decker ( I forget why). We asked around a night club and we were able to figure out that she had a lair somewhere beneath it which lead us to some old sewers. We manage to track her to a tunnel that had a pipe that was leaking natural gas. Thinking it the wise course I turned off the gas and proceded down the tunnel where I had a little scuffle with a few R.O.U.S's but otherwise emerged unscathed on the other side. I entered a well lit chamber occupied by a topless Female elf holding a Ruger Super WarHawk.

 

Elf: Who are you ? What are you doing here? Are you alone?

Me: *Giving her an apprasing look* No just me and my big friend.

Elf: *she looked me over* Big friend...yeah right? *she scoffed*

 

Just then the Troll emerged from the tunnel behind me.

 

Me: Yeah! *grinning*

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

gassy? gassy? Vitus isn't gassy. He has plenty of other faults' date=' true. Such as a ruthless streak so broad it makes his colleagues swear, and a serious need for some self-awareness if not actual enlightenment. I suppose you could say he's a super-callous-frakking-mystic-gnoll-who-needs-some-gnosis.[/quote']

 

Even just the sound of him is really quite atrocious!

 

Lucius Alexander

 

Feed him to the palindromedary!

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Quotes from a pick up game of Shadowrun4

 

Cast:

 

Shirah: Female Elf Combat Mage

Ghost: Male Orc Hacker

 

----------

 

The characters are meeting each other for the first time before a meet with Mr. Johnson

 

Shirah: Stop looking at me like that! You're looking at me the wrong way! :mad:

 

Ghost: How am I supposed to look at you? Light travels from your body to my eyes! I can't control it! :help:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Some of the quotes from last week's games

 

In the Barakusia D&D

 

Murray, GM
: ... and we all know why elephants have big ears.

Me
: ?

Murray, GM
: Because Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom.

 

Murray, GM
: How do French women hold their liquor?

Me
: Do tell

Murray, GM
: By the ears.

 

The latter, of course, in honour of Rumbaba, Goblin Lothario

 

Me
: I'm not sure
is the right word. He's more the Casanova type. It's not as if actual
intercourse
is his ultimate objective or motivation...

Gae-el's player
: Oh god, don't tell me. He's a teen aged male who's really in pursuit of the romantic ideal, all he wants is true love. Somebody has been reading too much Manga

Al the Wizard launches into a long background piece about his suspiciously Middle-eastern sounding homeland and how he is traveling the world to learn all the ways of magic.

Me
: (suspiciously ) Al isn't short for
, is it?

 

Rumbaba
: I'm trying to keep up with Aukana. I can't let her face the trouble alone - that would be ungallant.

Aukana's ( Goliath warden ) player
: *
laughing
* You? You only come up to her hip! And you're going to protect
her
?

Rumbaba
: *
nods
* Yes. And I know - I've been walking behind her for the last three hours, enjoying the view

 

Murray, GM
: Ok, who's crawling?

Al's player
: Murray, you're a wonderful GM, I've always admired you, you're the very epitome of a gamer ( and so on )

 

Me
,
looking at the table thoughtfully
: You know, I've been a roleplayer for 20 years, and I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've ever actually run into Kobolds.

 

Gae-el
readies an overwatch
: I'll shoot the first goblin that appears

Rumbaba
: I'd suggest rephrasing that -
since I'm the only goblin present

GM, somewhat aghast at the combat monster Rumbaba is turning out to be.

GM : The goblin's the deadliest thing on the table!

Rumbaba
: I wouldn't be going for the killshot if I could tell what gender they were. Alas, it's difficult to tell with reptiles.

Rumbaba's chivalrous attitude is going to get him into real trouble the first time the party runs into Dark Elves.

 

Combat goes well. Indeed, it goes much better than it did in the first time the GM & Al's player ever played AD&D.

GM
: What do you know - you've run into four kobolds and the party is still alive a turn later.

 

GM
: Unfortunately even the kobold Rumbaba hamstrung has bled to death

Rumbaba OOC
: Pity. I was going to ask him if he had any sisters.

In the end only the female PCs are wounded, to Rumbaba's distress.

Rumbaba OOC
: Don't worry miladies, I'll look after you both...
and give you spongebaths

And a few from Cthulhu - more to come.

 

In the aftermath of previous events, most of the characters are staying as somewhere nice and quiet with no ocean views. It'll give them a few weeks to read through the tomes they've 'acquired' too. And horrify the locals with in depth ( and in-character!) defence of the thesis that Christianity is a Cannibalism & Human Sacrifice Cult, over the Beef Stroganoff, at one of the local restaurants. Two new characters - Pvt Rondale, Kentuckian Veteran of the Raid on Innsmouth, and Prof Engelein, lecturer in Law & History and regular at Col. Lancaster's Antique Shop.

 

So now the party has a German accent as well.

 

Prof. Engelein
: Right down south. Almost Galacian. Practically Transylvanian. I do not drink.... vine.

Me, GM
: Really...

Prof. Engelein
: Vodka, on the other hand....

Me, GM
: You're back visiting your parents during the University break. You usually try to get home then. Your mother does such wonderful food - especially that white sauce that goes with Eggs Benedict, or asparagus. It's always good to get home for the Hollandaise.

 

Prof. Engelein
: Can I get some brandy for after dinner?

Pvt. Rondale
: Not easily...

Prof. Engelein
: Oh, I see - that Prohibition thing

Col. Lancaster
: Don't worry, I know how to handle this. Waiter? My friend would like an orange juice with dinner. Some
specially aged
orange juice.

Talking about character equipment - particular the need for armour of some description.

Me GM
: Realistic armour, or fantasy armour, where if you're a woman the less you wear the harder you are to hit?

Prof. Engelein's player
: Ha.

Me, GM
: A brief chainmail bikini is best of all.

Col. Lancaster's player
: *moans in pain and clutches eyes*

Pvt. Rondale's player
: You're picturing Paddy McGinty in a bikini, aren't you?

Col. Lancaster's player
: Believe me, I'm trying not to.

 

Prof. Engelein's player
: There is one mystic tome that discusses necrophagia - to whit, the devouring of ghosts, for power! Vitality! Extra life! It's called the Omnomnomicon

 

Me, GM
: McGinty is still under psychiatric observation. Given the way he can't tell them
why
he's suddenly terrified of the colour black, I'm going to have the psychiatrist assume it's a
racial
phobia.

Col. Lancaster
: Ahhahaha

Me, GM
: So he's going to be in there a while yet

Col. Lancaster
: They're probably mistaking the normal McGinty for mental damage.

I foresee a lot of fun from this group of twisted roleplayers.

For example.- "Oh, I'm going to hate your character. It won't be that much of a stretch, I already hate you"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

More fun from my Tuesday night Star Wars d20 game.

 

We have managed to successfully infiltrate the Star Destroyer where the potential Imperial defector is. Our intel says that he will shortly be arrested for treason (which is why he's willing to defect... and had a lot to do with our little prison break/planting of information at the Imperial base), so we head down to the prison block, take out the guards and staff (and "break out" those of us who were on board as prisoners ourselves) Naturally, before the defector-to-be is sent to the prison block, his guards comm the duty station to let them know he is on the way.

 

Kenrako (OOC): I answer the comm!

GM: Ooookay... "Prison block 1420-B, prepare to receive a new prisoner. He is en-route now.

Kenrako:

Naatu (sotto voce): Ken, they don't understand you.

GM: "Come again?"

Naalum: I attempt to shove Ken out of the way and then answer. "Sorry... one of my duty-mates has a horrible cold... we stand ready to receive the new prisoner" and then sign off.

Kenrako (sheepishly): Sorry, that was almost very bad.

 

Later, after getting the prisoner out and heading down to the flight deck, where we have hacked clearance to take a Lambda-class shuttle out for a prisoner transfer (most of us are disguised as prisoners again), we are approached by the head flight-deck duty officer. Who asks us our business...

 

Jak (disguised as a Storm Trooper sergeant): We are taking these prisoners off-ship to a holding facility. Here is our clearance.

Duty officer: Yes sir. (looks at orders, then looks at the prisoners... recognizes the defector-to-be... and looks completely shocked to see that we have him)

Kenrako (ooc) Oh, crap... there is no way we have clearance to move him this soon after the arrest.

Jak (ooc) No problem, I'll just do my "these are not the droids.."

Kenrako(ooc, and interrupting) I "break out" of my restraints, and snap the Duty officer's neck!

Stunned silence follows.

DY (sotto voce): I guess it's time for plan B: "The prisoners have escaped, get them!"

 

After much hilarity, we do manage to get onto the Shuttle, and thanks to Naatu and DY being remarkably good slicers, we manage to get the magnetic force field closing the bay down long enough to get out. A short firefight ensues while Naalum tries desperately to both take evasive action (to keep the shuttle from being destroyed) and plot a Hypespace course out of there. Needless to say, the shuttle takes a *lot* of damage.

 

Naatu: Okay, I'll jury-rig the power systems to give us a bit more rear shielding, so that Naalum can get us out of here.

Naalum: Right, I just need another 10 seconds or so, and we'll be out of here!

GM: Okay, Naalum, at that point, with an audible pop, the Navi-Computer shuts down.

Naalum (ooc): If any of you guys understand Sullustan, you hear me swearing... loudly and profusely.

Naatu: Naalum... I only know a few words in Sullustan, but that sounds really bad... what is it?

Naalum: Well... we're screwed... the only thing I can do is profoundly stupid. (ooc, to the GM) Okay, I'll try to complete the Hyperspace course manually. Only my truly absurd skill with this sort of thing gives me any shot of pulling this off... Oh, and I'm spending a Force point on this.

GM: Go for it. (Dice are rolled) What did you get?

Naalum (ooc) Yes! A 44!

Naatu (ooc, and in a very worried voice): Is a 44 enough for us to live?

 

So, we make it into Hyperspace... but the ship is falling apart around us. Naatu, DY and Kenrako have their hands full trying to keep the ship from literally falling apart in hyperspace.

 

Naatu: By they way, Naalum... what is it that you did that was so stupid?

Kenrako:

Jak: It can't have been too bad, I mean, it's not like you plotted a hyperspace course without the navicomputer.

Naalum: Err... Naatu... remind me in future to never to do that again.

Jak: Wait... you didn't... that's impossible...

Natu: Naalum, sweetie... never do that again... unless the only alternative is certain death... in which case, you have my permission.

Jak: Naalum... just how good an astrogator *are* you?

Naalum: Good enough to know exactly how stupid what I just did is.

 

After coming out of hyperspace, almost nothing on the ship works. we're in deep space and have no idea where we are.

 

DY: Well, my suggestion is that Ken, Jak and I suit up, go outside, and cut the wing bits off and use them to reinforce the hull so that we a) don't lose any more air and B) can *maybe* survive another trip through hyperspace. I'd reccomend that Naatu works on the computers, since we'll need long-range communications and the Navicomp back if we're going to survive this.

Naatu: Okay, Naalum, can you figure out where we are, so that we know if any of this is even possible?

Naalum: Without the Navicomp, I'll need a map... I might be able to do something.

Naatu (ooc) Well, I have a very up-to-date and detailed map on my data pad that I copied from that Verpine memory core that we recovered for the Rebels. I'll hand that to Naalum.

GM: Okay, that should be possible. Absurdly hard, but possible.

Naalum (ooc): Right, my astrogation roll is... 19 on the die... total of 40. How long does it take?

GM: Er... probably about an hour and a half.

Jak: How is that possible?

DY: Okay... well, on a 2-d map you can do that by working out how far you are from various points and drawing circles with a radius of how far you are from that known point. I think it's called dead reckoning. It's just a bit more complicated in deep space, since you are working in 3 dimensions and have to use spheres.

Jak: And Naalum just did that... IN HIS HEAD? That just can't be possible!

Naalum: Oh, that's rich coming from mister "I can levitate a speeding hover car with just the power of my mind and fling it at a Dark Jedi."

 

Repairs are "finished", and, navicomp back up and running, we are about to get under way.

 

GM Okay, Naatu... you're going to have to modulate the repulsors that you've reversed to hold the ship together with... because if they don't stay in balance, they'll crush the ship like an empty beer-can.

Naatu (ooc) right...

DY (ooc): I think I'll stay outside the ship during the trip and hold onto the hull.

Naalum (ooc): Um, what if you fall off while we're traveling through hyperspace?

DY (ooc): No worries, I have an incredibly strong grip.

Naalum (ooc): Sure, sure... but what if the bit of our held together with duct-tape and bubblegum ship you are powerfully hanging on to, you know, falls off in hyperspace?

DY (ooc): That's why I am going to be inside the ship during the trip!

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Expecially when he explody-alla-you-bus.

 

But notice how neatly he evaded having to give an alibi

 

Lucius Alexander

 

The palindromedary is combing the records for mentions of mysterious hyena-men

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

But notice how neatly he evaded having to give an alibi

 

Lucius Alexander

 

The palindromedary is combing the records for mentions of mysterious hyena-men

 

Well there was one in the Book Depository following up a rumour that they were holding the High School edition of Dee's Necronomicon...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Quote from my D&D 4 game.

 

----------

 

Cast:

Baldronin: Male Dragonborn Paladin

Balinor: Male Half Elf Warlock

Thalin: Male Half Elf Warlord

Annastriana: Female Eladrin Wizard

 

----------

Background: The party is coming to the conclusion of their first adventure on the Paragon tier, King of the Trollhaunt Warrens. After defeating the guards of Skalmad, the Troll King, they pursued him into the Feywild to finish him off. They come face to face with a Fomorian Dark Initiate (a Giant with mystic powers) blocking their way, and the following scene took place.

 

Fomorian: "I am a servant of the great Skalmad, the new Troll King." She dramatically slams her staff down on the floor in front of her and declares defiantly, "You shall not pass!"

Thalin: In an extremely annoyed/aggrieved tone immediately replies, "Get the hell out of our way!"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

After discovering the ghastly remains of CLOWN after an ill-fated attempt by the Idiot King and Black Harlequin to "join" them.

 

Femme Fatale: How many members of CLOWN do I see?

GM: You see all of them with the exception of Spotlight, Random and Beuford.

Femme Fatale: I'll do a perception roll.

GM: You still don't see Spotlight and Random but you do find a puddle of unidentified liquid underneath you.

Renegade: Oooooooooh, Beuford you're soaking in it!

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