Jump to content
Darren Watts

Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

Recommended Posts

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

More quotes from my Shadowrun4 game.

 

This may be a "you had to be there" moment, but here it is.

 

----------

 

Cast:

Bender: Male Troll drunk and martial artist.

Anna: Female Elf combat mage.

Deklan: Male Human hacker.

 

----------

 

Situation: The team is sieging a warehouse on the dock. As Bender breaks through a side door and enters the warehouse, an unmanned forklift narrowly misses running Bender over. Bender ducks out the door as the forklift comes to a stop, blocking the entrance.

 

Anna (contemplates using a levitate spell to move the forklift): I don't think I can pick this thing up ... with my mind. :P

 

Bender (mulling over his options): I'm big and tough and all, but I don't think I can punch out a forklift. :confused:

 

GM: That was some revealing insight on how your characters solve their problems. :help:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Two games ran yesterday - the Barakusia D&D 4th Ed, and a playtest of a World War One Cthulhu module for Pelgrane Press.

 

Dave did open the day with a long and convincing argument that the architecture of the Sydney Opera House proves it's a Temple to Father Dagon & Mother Hydra, which was impressive.

 

Murray followed this with a brief discussion of Aztec open-heart surgery, and concluded on that basis that Aztec explorers were the first to discover California.

Murray, GM
: ... and that's why Aztec explorers never got sacrificed.

Me
: .... why?

Murray, GM
: They could claim they left their heart in San Francisco

In Barakusia, the PCs have finally reached the small provincial town where they'll be sitting for their literacy exams.

Rumbaba
: Goblin juggler and knife thrower, and wanna-be Casanova

Vada
: Deva cleric

Adrie
: Shifter Druid ( essentially a freeform were-critter )

Al
: Human wizard

Aukana
: Goliath Warden

Anyway, having run to the hall, dumped our packs and grabbed the last few seats ( didn't even have time to divest ourselves of daggers, etc, which was lucky as it happened ) and picked up the styluses and wax tablets for the dictation test, when all the doors get kicked in and a bunch of masked and heavily armed dwarfs burst in and bark "Right! Nobody move!". Naturally, as overly confident semi-professional rioters ( i.e. PCs ) we ignored these instructions and it was on for young and old.

 

The Proctor supervising the exam, for example, bashed the nearest dwarf in the head with his gavel, and barked "QUIET! Exam in progress!"

 

Rumbaba, short enough that the dwarfs haven't even noticed him behind his desk yet, is having difficulty picking a target.

Murray, GM
: The dwarf wizard on the dais - the one your friend the Proctor just bashed with the gavel - looks to be female, as far as you can tell.

Rumbaba
: Yes, it can a bit difficult to sex dwarfs.

Murray, GM
: Desexing dwarfs, on the other hand, is a traditional goblin pastime. Usually involving pliers.

 

Aukana
: How may I smack thee? Let me count the ways...

 

Aukana's player
: Can I Mark him again?

Murray, GM
: *checks rules* No

Aukana's player
: So he's unremarkable?

 

Aukana
: My brilliant plan to pass myself off as a dwarf didn't work

Rumbaba
: No. Not even as two dwarfs, standing on each other's shoulders.

 

Rumbaba
: I studied for a week for this exam!
*STAB STAB STAB*

 

Adrie
: And we didn't even start the dictation test!

Al
: Sure we did!
*holds up wax tablet*
RITE ... NOBODIE MOVE

 

Vada
to
Al
who is Fiery Orbing one of the dwarves
: Stop playing with your flaming balls and get over here!

The Proctor, understandably annoyed at having been kidnapped from the exam he was overseeing.

The Proctor
: Take them alive!
I want to examine them

 

The Proctor
: Yes, you fought off all those hordes, yes you tracked them down when they dragged me off, and yes, you probably saved my life... but you didn't hand in this assignment on time!

Rumbaba
: No more extensions? :/

The Proctor
: Oh alright, I'll give you an 'Incomplete'

The Cthulhu game went quite well - found a few flaws in my presentation that'll I'll rectify for the next playtest, but I won't include any quotes here today - I don't want to give too much away :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Cast:

Jan Szelk..... (can´t speak it) Polnish Hussar currently in Imperial German Service

Count Marie Jean de ......(quite long) French Aristocrat, wanted by the Sun King

Isaak Ben Nasi Jewish Doctor/ Kabalist

Alexander Monchenigo Venetian "Trader"

 

The Time: March 1703

Location : The three Days worth of boat travell on the River Niger on the other site of Bonny

 

After having braved the french Blockade at the mouth of the Niger our interprid Adventurers (who have been in the Area before and are in the possession of Maps) are traveling

into a side arm to find a mysterious cave where they are planning to dump a chuthuloid Artifact.

Suddenly Drumms are heard........

 

The Count to native guide: "What do the Drumms say ?"

Jan the Hussar OOC: "Bananas 2,99 per kilo..."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Session 3 of Qin: The Warring States

 

The cast:

Black Cloud, a retired wu xia turned baker

Bu Ya, a calligrapher and vagabond

Silent Mountain, a wu xia and doctor

Wandering Vine, a barbarian, horse trainer, and internal alchemist

 

This episode was notable for just about everything the GM and Vine said being interpretable as a double entendre. It didn't help that Vine uses a Taoist form of tantric magic to replenish his chi reserves.

 

Wandering Vine: "Wandering Vine will show [bu Ya] his one scroll."

 

We develop an idea for a new prana: "The Army of My First Love"

 

Someone OCC to Wandering Vine: "How's it going with breaking the horse?"

 

We encounter a local lord with four wives (the old one, the nice one, the young and vapid one, and wife #4, the one who never leaves her bedroom)

 

Wandering Vine: "I gotta make a roll for wife number 4."

 

GM to Wandering Vine: "You're going to recirculate your male principle?"

 

Wandering Vine on the result of a die roll: "That was how good it was for me, not necessarily how good it was for her."

 

Silent Mountain on trying to get the plot going: "There's no clue-by-four skill."

 

Wandering Vine: "[it's] a luck roll for sex."

 

Wandering Vine comments on the vapidness of wife number three: "Never the less, she's good for 12 chi."

 

Silent Mountain comments on Wandering Vine's, well... wandering (OOC): "Show me on the doll where Wandering Vine touched you."

 

The GM comments on the quality of mook movement: "They all have the Tao of One Direction."

 

As you may note, Silent Mountain doesn't speak much, Bu Ya didn't have much to say, and I'm writing this down (I play Black Cloud). So Wandering Vine's comments get the most play.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Finally after a near 3-month hiatus, our Monster Hunters game is back in action.

Our Cast:

 

Kayla a psychic ninja on the run for kidnapping her younger sister, Molly.

Mike, a half-angel who, due to a psychic accident, ended up switching bodies with the 17 year old Molly.

Julian a Vodun park ranger

Danny a ghost-hunting martial artist

Sonia a half-vampire reporter

Zeke a demon-possessed private investigator

 

[pre-game chatter]

 

Sonia's Player: I'm sorry, but my brain's gone into elevator music mode. I don't have any idea what you're saying.

 

***

 

Julian's Player: It's more of a platonic love.

 

Danny's Player: Six-sided?

 

***

 

Kayla's Player [to Sonia's player]: They're all old enough to be our dad.

Danny's Player [pointing to Julian's Player]: That one is your dad.

 

***

 

Sonia's Player: Who punches a teddy bare when their mad? It's much more fun to shake babies.

 

Kayla's Player [who works in a day care]: Why would you shake a baby? Well, okay, maybe shake some babies...

 

***

 

[and then the game commenced]

 

Zeke: There is no law covering dragons coming out of a shack in the swamp!

 

***

 

GM: If anyone in this group knew a satanic mechanic, it would be Zeke.

 

***

 

Zeke: I figured if we'd done something stupid, we might as well take advantage of it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Cast:

Jan Szelk..... (can´t speak it) Polnish Hussar currently in Imperial German Service

Count Marie Jean de ......(quite long) French Aristocrat, wanted by the Sun King

Isaak Ben Nasi Jewish Doctor/ Kabalist

Alexander Monchenigo Venetian "Trader"

 

The Time: March 1703

Location : Slavetrade Station Bonni

 

GM: You discover that three french Frigattes have taken position around Bonni.

Alexander M: Damm must be the bunch that overtook us at Madeira. What are their Names ?

GM: ...seeks for French ship-names ...Uh: Le Nadiad, Le Reynard, somebody a Idea about a french Animal I can use ?

Alexander helpful OOC: le poulet (the chicken)

Jan the Hussar OOC: Naah why so complicated: Sunk, Sunker and Sunkest (to his defense he is a avid player of Wooden Ships and Iron Men and to our Groups: He is our only native English speaker, so please blame him for all cruelty inflicted upon the English Language)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Teh Bunneh has started a new Fantasy HERO campaign set in his world of Temoris. (Bunneh fans will remember this world as the setting for his Fearless Monster Hunters campaign.) While I didn't do a great job remembering to write down all the quotes, here are a few that I did jot down.

 

---

 

Characters:

 

Lady Isobelle Hawthorne: Noblewoman and duelist hand-picked to be the local Baron's captain-of-the-guard. Has a bloodthirsty streak.

Quion Rake: A taciturn and intense magician and alchemist turned humble clerk. Also in the service of the local Baron.

Damien Wrathchild: A man of mystery and cunning hiding from a dark secret from his past. Rumored to be the Baron's spymaster.

Lieutenant Niamh O’Derry: Professional warrior serving as an officer in the Apotic Corps of the Draconians - the kingdom's elite police force.

Wythri Majaera: Elven sage-in-training and spellcaster (secretly a Wild Mage).

 

---

 

During a discussion on the difference in races...

Isobelle: Empathy may have been something Elves invented but tact was what Humans invented.

 

An elf must know her limitations...

Wythri: I have the sense of direction of a blawahh. :doi:

 

As the group follows a trail through the forest...

GM: Are you guys moving normally or with stealth?

Quion (OOC): We're going to track casually.

 

As a battle breaks out!

Quion (OOC): I put on my non-combatant T-shirt.

 

The party is sniped by a hermit from the cover of his shack...

Wythri (OOC): Crossbows. The medieval equivalent of shotguns.

GM (feigning an old redneck voice): Get offa my land!

 

The passive Quion is hesitant to enter the fray directly...

Isobelle: You do not have to charge into battle. We will not think any less of you as a SCRIBE!

 

As the attacker falls, the Draconian (read: cop) knows that reports are to follow...

Niahm (OOC): I Fast-Draw (Typewriter) to start the paperwork.

 

During a discussion about the likelihood of the crossbowman's ability to hide a murder victim...

Isobelle: Well, he could have been intelligent enough to...

Damien: Uhm, he kept a wanted poster of himself...and thought it was a mirror.

 

When asked his opinion on the guilt of the suspected murderer...

Damien: I'm not a judge. I'm more a jury and executioner. :eg:

 

When requested to give a report as to the recent battle...

Isobelle: He shot me with a crossbow. Then he hit me with a mace. Then I stabbed him. Several times. He died. End of report. :mad:

 

---

 

QuerySphinx and Ghost-Angel might have additional quotes to add. In the meantime, enjoy!

 

 

Lonewalker

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

When requested to give a report as to the recent battle...

Isobelle: He shot me with a crossbow. Then he hit me with a mace. Then I stabbed him. Several times. He died. End of report. :mad:

 

Lonewalker

 

If only he'd died, the paperwork would have been easier.

 

RE: the attackers wounds;

Lt. Niahm: I should be able to keep him from dying.

Isobelle: I didn't hit most of the major arteries.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

QuerySphinx and Ghost-Angel might have additional quotes to add. In the meantime, enjoy!

 

Lonewalker

Isobelle: getting tangled up in a thread of reason: We will decide that which we know when we know... what we know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Isobelle: getting tangled up in a thread of reason: We will decide that which we know when we know... what we know.

 

Technically... that was the player outsmarting himself. Which, unsurprisingly, is a common occurrence.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Well, here's my first contribution to this thread:

 

the party's bard usually avoids combat.

the party comes across some kobolds reading and giggling at a book.

they are holding the book upside down.

 

the bard charges in ahead of all,

and lays waste to the kobolds.

 

Sorceror: "That book thing drove you crazy, didn't it?"

 

Bard: "This must be what paladins feel like, laying waste to evil and smiting the unclean"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Yar's Cosmic Supers Game

In which 6 700-point PCs save the Earth from an alien invasion.

(It's basically an excuse to learn the ins and outs of 6E combat and toss around lots of dice.)

 

The Cast:

Sidewinder -- power-armor and lots of weapons

StarPower -- fire-using pop-singer

Gravitas -- gravity manipulator

Quantum Girl -- size changer, can go from a few inches in height to 100'

Bedlam -- the Absorbing Man meets Plastic Man meets Elemento

Force Majure -- basically Ultra Boy

 

Bedlam (OOC): I'm unconscious, so I can only see the inside of my eyelids.

Force Majure (OOC): I've seen you shape shift, I'm not sure you have eyelids.

 

Force comments on the feasibility of a tactic: "Well, if it worked for Doctor Who."

 

"The alternative press call [this form] Bondage Bedlam."

 

"Oh look, there's a 50-foot woman lying on the ground!"

 

Bedlam moves some miniatures: These guys are lying on top of one another.

Force: I didn't need to know that.

 

"The boots are made for squashing."

 

GM: "I never thought I'd say this.... the [single] mook goes."

 

"My brain Dodges."

 

Bedlam responds to an incoming attack: "This is gonna hurt."

 

StarPower to Quantum Girl: "What's with you and landing on people?"

 

We discover the alien boss is vulnerable to sonics. So StarPower hacks into the PA system in order to sing it to death. It's suggested she sing "Never Going To Give You Up." The GM asks her to make a PS: Singer Roll. The result? A "3."

"[starPower] just crited a rickroll!"

 

The GM rolls a 10d6 Aid to all Characteristics, and gets... 19.

 

Sidewinder on his ability to accomplish a task: "I will not make this roll!"

He rolled... a 3.

 

StarPower: "My General Ackbar senses are tingling... it's a trap!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

In a recent bout of 'Rogue Trader'. Canned adventure, with our group finally having the final confrontation / exposition scene with the Big Bad / End Of Level Monster.

 

The Ref gears up for what looks like being a lengthy speech from the Big Bad, who is apparently setting up some ritual as he does so.

 

My Adeptas Sororitis character yells out, "Qucik! Kill him before he starts monologuing!".

 

Which was promptly done, and done well (very thoroughly, anyhow). The Ref was most put out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Playing Traveler Hero game.

 

Interviewing NPCs for a ships doctor, six interviews;

Player A OOC: Every other odd one, two, four, and six.

Player B OOC: Because that's how you define odd.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

In a recent bout of 'Rogue Trader'. Canned adventure' date=' with our group finally having [b']the[/b] final confrontation / exposition scene with the Big Bad / End Of Level Monster.

 

The Ref gears up for what looks like being a lengthy speech from the Big Bad, who is apparently setting up some ritual as he does so.

 

My Adeptas Sororitis character yells out, "Qucik! Kill him before he starts monologuing!".

 

Which was promptly done, and done well (very thoroughly, anyhow). The Ref was most put out.

 

I always wonder why players take such delight in trashing the dramatic aspects of the GM's adventure. How would we, as players, take it if each time we were asked for our next action and we tried to add some character speech or other role play, we were quickly cut off with "just state your action and roll the dice; keep it moving".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I always wonder why players take such delight in trashing the dramatic aspects of the GM's adventure. How would we' date=' as players, take it if each time we were asked for our next action and we tried to add some character speech or other role play, we were quickly cut off with "just state your action and roll the dice; keep it moving".[/quote']

 

On the other hand, change that to "Quick! Stop him before he can complete the incantation!" and (IMO) all's good. This is Dark Heresy, after all. If the BBEG is doing anything that looks like Chaos magic, you want to stop as fast as possible, lest he open a gate to the Warp and let something in. In which case it's SAN-check time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I always wonder why players take such delight in trashing the dramatic aspects of the GM's adventure. How would we' date=' as players, take it if each time we were asked for our next action and we tried to add some character speech or other role play, we were quickly cut off with "just state your action and roll the dice; keep it moving".[/quote']

 

Usually, we have much more regard for such matters. However, as I already said, the Big Bad was ALSO setting up some kind of ritual. Obligingly let him finish both his speech and said ritual seemed like an incredibly bad idea. So then I went with a humorous directive instead of something more factual. You had to be there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...