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Darren Watts

Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

But two wights make a aiwpwane.

...Seeing as it would be an undead aiwpwane, I'd think it would be a bit of a wight-off. Unless someone underwights the bill for fix-up to set it all wight. And, being of sorta-organic material, it might or might not be too wight. Or it wight eat its passengers, which would be a rather bad wight's out. But, OTOH, if you have wights, you wightly have magic, so you wight be able to make it wightless, which could possible send it into orbit. In which case, there'd be a lot of sunlight, to the possible de-wight of the passengers. Although the wights wight not be de-wighted; I'm not sure what wight happen if a wight were to be exposed to daywight. But if you've got a daywight, do you have a nightwight? Or are all wights nightwights? And, if so, how wright are they?

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Wight. This has gone on far too long. This is a page for wighting quotes, not making puns.

 

So here are a couple of gems from a planning session between our two GMs:

GM: They'll sent the Hovership Ragnarok, or its evil twin.

GM: they're trying to be subtle. Hence the lasers.

GM: "What the F**k" is the capital of Huh?

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Pathfinder, Kingdom Builder game:

 

we've gone through a whole year of city time,

making our little nation prosperous.

 

So we threw a party. The Bard was an hour late.

 

Why? well he was composing a letter home:

 

"Dear Mom:

I have held the same salaried job in one place for a year now,

thought you would be proud"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

;) OK' date=' so they DON'T smoke. But if they did ....[/quote']

 

We'd have to increase their brain size in order to find a cure for cancer.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

For what it's worth: for various reasons' date=' sharks don't get cancer.[/quote']

 

Sorry, wrong. They DO get cancer.

 

"There are at least 42 cases on record of sharks having various tumours, including thyroid cancer, lymphoma, metastatic adenocarcinoma, and other cancers of the nervous, blood, reproductive, skin and digestive systems. A few sharks had two tumours. There was even a case of a tumour of the cartilage."

 

http://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2005/09/08/1410188.htm. Making the shark cartilage fad doubly stupid, as well as devastating to shark populations.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

D&D 4th Ed, Rumbaba and company, dealing with the stolen Sanguinary Orb they found and really should return to the owner or his next of kin, and other trials, such as lissome twin elfgirls.

 

GM
: So he was a 'family man'

Rumbaba
: But was he a made man? Like a flesh golem?

 

Rumbaba
: Maybe the wizard that used to own it died of natural causes, and these sods just looted the corpse. But then, murder IS natural causes for wizards.

 

Tarmikos
: We've had a magical jade falcon deliver a message for us to go meet the Master of Spring, within the Feywild

Rumbaba
: It's the Green Bird of Trouble

 

GM
: So if you see Fomorians doing evil things to bunnies, you can intervene

Rumbaba
: Or indeed evil bunnies doing things to Fomoroians.

 

Attacked by freakish tentacle things and flying platypus skeletons from the far planes

 

Rumbaba OOC
: Lovecraft on absinthe

 

GM
: The food's a bit richer than you're used to. A CON test might be in order.

Rumbaba
: I haven't even noticed what I'm eating. I'm still smitten with the elf twins.

GM
: *
headdesk
*

Rumbaba
: Well you have to admit they're a great cure for flying psychic undead platypus attack.

GM
: Rumbaba seems to be still entranced, or paralysed. He can't take his eyes off the elf-twins

Tarmikos
: *
sighs
*

Rumbaba
: I sigh too, but for different reason.

 

Master of Spring
: Greetings, investigators.

Rumbaba OOC
: Wrong game system.

GM
: Really? And just who was recently attacked by tentacle monsters?

 

Rumbaba's gift of the gab fails him

 

Rumbaba
: We feared the owner was dead, given the possessors in who we currently... found it... possessed.

 

The Master of Spring casts Hold Person on Rumbaba and summons the court portrait painter. He's never seen a blushing goblin before.

 

Rumbaba
: Well, at least this way I get a massage to stop cramp afterwards. So, bonus!
*hopes for elf twins*

 

Eladrin Paladrin
: If you ever turn undead, I'll behead you cleanly.

Rumbaba
: Gee. Thanks.

Hope
: And if it were you I'll return the favour.

 

GM
: One of the twins rubs you down. The other hangs back with a towel to make sure you
stay
down.
*mimes horrified expression, flailing at Rumbaba with towel*

Rumbaba
: No happy endings for Rumbaba

 

Arjhan
: I had a strange dream last night...

Hope
: I think I had the same dream. There was darkness surrounding me...

Rumbaba
: Really? There were elf twins surrounding me in mine.

Arjhan
& Hope :
*description and interpretation of enigmatic shared dream symbology*

Rumbaba
: OK, I'm confused. What does this have to do with elf girls?

 

Hope
: I'm a paladin of the Sun God! Dishonour doesn't mean a t...

Rumbaba
:
Doesn't mean a thing to you???

 

Rumbaba
: Hey! I do have SOME self-control. That other elf girl didn't even need to use the towel.

 

Rumbaba is not looking forward to police duties during the imminent Feast of Corellon, on the equinox.

 

Rumbaba
: Something nondescript to wear would be nice. When you're being vomited on by drunk druids on the balcony, you don't want to be wearing your
good
clothes.

GM
: It's not Spring Break

Rumbaba
:
*pointedly reminds him of the in-game date*
Oh yes it is.

 

Rumbaba has other reasons to avoid town - he's spotted some of his clan members in the crowd

 

Rumbaba
: You know how it is. Family things.... in-law things.... potential in-law things.... crossbow wedding things....

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

This week's Cthulhu - "One In Darkness", by Doug Lyons and L.N.Isinwyll, from Great Old Ones. And to my incoherent raving disbelief, my damned Karma Houdini players not only managed to get through an unusually deadly scenario without so much as a single scratch, they prevented all but one of the deaths that should have been a certainty, AND all got massive rewards to sanity, cash, public appreciation AND magical power at the end of it.

 

On the other hand, the three player-characters this week did manage to sow a certain amount of mistrust of each other this week, mostly on account of the rich racial epithets that they were throwing at each other with abandon, and increasing suspicion about what McGinty has really been up to with his new and not inconsiderable magical ability.

 

Anyway, whilst he had a few days off from building a four-engine speedboat for a rumrunner ( they were waiting for more airplane engines to arrive ) McGinty decided to finally try out this Resurrection spell that Lancaster's Brain has been trying to teach him. He has a suitable candidate, too - the brother of the New York lunatic he's been keeping locked in the secret room in his house in Arkham. The late brother he's been keeping in a chest freezer in the next room. Reading up on the elaborate procedure, McGinty makes a few inquiries and decides to best place to cast the ritual is the Unvisited Isle in the middle of the Miskatonic River. Naturally, those of us that knew about the history of the island in question were left with bulging eyes and stupefied expressions, but despite many rolls by me the spell went off without a hitch, and without anybody noticing him setting the thing up. They probably noticed the sudden freak storm, madly howling dogs across half the town, and the earsplitting voice that bellowed something arcane out of a churning sky, however.

 

You bet this is going to have consequences. For one thing McGinty is completely ignorant of the side effects of a successful Resurrection, but will shortly be hearing news of what he's just unleashed.

 

But after reuniting the brothers, and understandable catatonic withdrawal of one, McGinty is back off to Boston's South Side for a midnight showing of his engineering project to his occasional 'legitimate businessman' employer. The demonstration is interrupted by the arrival of 20 armed police in the street outside. Amazingly, they're not here for McGinty, or his boss. They're here to apprehend the Crimson Gang, currently hiding out in a building further up King-of-Ireland Street. Somehow, storming the building turns into a rout, with some of the gangsters escaping, 7 cops dead, and many of the corpses in distressingly incomplete condition.

 

Despite the news coverage, and a reward that rapidly climbs to over $20,000, Rondale & Guiliano are initially reluctant to help McGinty track down and eliminate some competition. For one thing, Guiliano & McGinty differ entirely on who should be considered culpable for the New York Incident.

McGinty
: Ignorance is no excuse.

The Amazing Julius
: I'll remember that.

GM
: Quite. We all know somebody in this group that's ignorant.
*all turn to glare at McGinty*

Regarding previous Incidents of which Guiliano was hitherto unaware

The Amazing Julius OOC
: I've already learned - DON"T ASK

Alas for Guiliano's fondest wish to have had McGinty along on last week's Flophouse Fatalities case, just see if McGinty really would have helped himself to glass after glass of wood alcohol -

McGinty
: Yeah, heard all about that from Rondale. Apparently the still was busted. Pumping out the wrong stuff.

The Amazing Julius
( other end of phoneline
) :
*silently curses*

Guiliano has other reasons to avoid McGinty's scheme, too. His 'Family', for one, and his career as stage magician entertaining holidaying New Yorkers in the Borscht Belt.

The Amazing Julius
: If I go around apprehending Irish gangsters, and the word gets back to my neighbourhood but leaves out the Irish bit, I won't be breathing for long.

 

The Amazing Julius
: Some of us work for a living, you damn Mick.

McGinty
: Don't lie, you've never worked a day in your life. Selling your arse on street corners isn't working.

The Amazing Julius
: Selling my arse on street corners would be easier. Some of those ladies from the Old Country can be a bit grabby.

By the end of the week the escapees are still in hiding, and the reward has climbed to $40,000. That's tempting enough to get Rondale and Julius into Boston, which is crawling with hundreds of cops and militiamen, some of whom are towing field guns around. They're taking the manhunt very seriously. Happily, McGinty splashed out for a quality hotel, so they can eat in their rooms and won't have to disturb the other patrons as they read the morning's papers and McGinty boasts about his latest achievements. Such as all the stuff he's learned from the Honore-Balfour's Cultes de Goules.

 

McGinty
: You don't speak French, do you?

The Amazing Julius
: No, I only speak real languages.

 

McGinty
:
*demonstrates his new fluency in the glibbering, meeping languages of what the book describes as 'Our Family From Below'*

The Amazing Julius
: You drank from the drainpipe, didn't you?

 

McGinty
: Oh, and I can raise the dead now.

The Amazing Julius, & Rondale
: *
stare
*

Rondale
: Wait, is that to do with that trumpet Amy and Lucy won't let you use?

McGinty
: Oh, no. Now I can point at a corpse, and tell it to get up and go kill those fellas over there.

GM
: How very ... suspicious. McGinty's been in Boston for weeks, he's suddenly flush with cash, and last week the rest of you had that little encounter with a moonshining still and the walking dead. That tableau of Zombies Playing Poker is just the kind of thing McGinty would do, too...

The Amazing Julius, & Rondale
: Hmmmmm *
eye McGinty suspiciously
*

 

Rondale
: I don't need to understand my enemy. I just need to understand how to kill them.

In the apparently unlikely event something manages to kill McGinty, after everything else else I've thrown at him, funeral arrangements are considered.

GM
: If the alcohol hasn't killed him yet...

Rondale
: I know. The .38s would probably just get him angry.

 

Rondale
: Dragonsbreath rounds are the way he would have wanted to go...

GM
: With his alcohol content you wouldn't even need that.

Rondale
: True. Just throw a match.

Curious news items - Apparently the gang's leader sent threatening letters to two art dealers demanding they hand over certain statuary. But this story is promptly retracted as a hoax in the the next edition. They head down to the Boston Leader, McGinty already the worse for drink, but so far is somehow avoiding the long-term effects of his problem.

GM
: Eight in the morning and he's already swaying.

McGinty
: It's an inner-ear problem. There's not enough alcohol in it.

 

GM
: You take
no
precautions regarding the quality of what you're actually drinking.

McGinty
: Yes I do! I brew me own!

GM
: I rest my case.

The party splits up, and to my alarm their befriending of a fired reporter, romancing of phone-operators, waving fist-fulls of cash at art-dealers, and talking their way into police records, breaking and entering, and harassment of low-life losers, leaves them in possession of the curious serpentine bookends and everything they need to track down Malone and the Crimson Gang in less that a day.

GM
: Just how much money do you carry around?? It's not a moneybelt, it's a bloody flak-jacket made of $20 bills.

 

GM
: Apart from that, the only thing you know about the statuary is that an Irish gangster is willing to kill to get them back.

The Amazing Julius
:
*eyeing McGinty*
An Irish gangster already has them.

 

The Amazing Julius
:
*leaning thoughtfully on his cane*
It's not easy pimping in the 1920s. And if you make any comment about Charity being the first of my stable I
will
thwack you.

Alas, one of the people the investigators threatened left it a little too late to follow the advice they gave him, and turns up shot dead. Still, they're moved so quickly that everybody else is still safe, for the moment. Julius, the reporter, and the cab driver wait out in the street whilst McGinty and Rondale tool up and move in to investigate the likely hideout.

 

And this starts the bit that makes me want to cry. They elect to circle the building clockwise. The gangster on watch was, by chance, doing the same. So as McGinty and Rondale moved around trying all the windows, the watcher was working his way around the other side of the building, completely oblivious. They spot somebody twitchily asleep on a sofa inside, and attempts his first casting of yet another spell - Mental Suggestion, a hypnotic compulsion of formidable strength. McGinty wanted him to come open the window. Instead, McGinty lost a large chunk of his own mind, and developed sudden amnesia.

GM
: McGinty was peering in through the crack in the glass, and making strange gestures and muttering disturbing gibberish under his breath. Now he's suddenly straightened up, and is looking around himself in obvious bafflement.

McGinty
: I'm going to get meself a drink.
*heads for the gate*

Rondale
:
*slaps hand over McGinty's mouth and hisses explanations before they wake up any of the gangsters*

He needn't have bothered - the gangsters sleep through it. *headdesk* And being reminded of the $40,000 at stake soon gets McGinty back on track.

The Amazing Julius OOC
: I'm not surprised. He's used to coming around in strange places and asking 'how the fook did I end up here?'

In the end, they manage to get a window open, and climb in, and pummel Malone unconscious, and kick another sleeping gangster in the head until same, before anybody else in the building is even aware of their presence. After that it's mostly down to gunfire, and to my growing incredulity they not only take three of the gangsters alive, bound and gagged, but they find another small fortune in Malone's stash. Which McGinty proceeds to stuff down his shirt.

GM
: Guess I wasn't joking about that flak jacket

Outside, the triumphant trio lash the living captives onto or into the cab, and decide to have a good long gloat.

GM
: Malone is staring daggers at you. Clearly he wants to say something, probably a fine selection of old Irish colloquialisms.

McGinty
: Aw, now isn't that nice. I bend down and pull my sock from his mouth. Now what did you want to tell me, Pat, hmm?

Malone
:
*stares viciously at McGinty and spits two syllables
* N'GRAL

*all hear what sounds like a heavy steel object being flung aside with some force, and a pig-like squeal of unearthly rage*

McGinty
:
aw, fook.

Thus begins the climax of the adventure. A scene I was sure would give me a gratifying amount of carnage and insanity to keep me warm at night, as they pile into the cab and scream at the driver to Go! Go! Go! as they are pursued across South Boston by a shrieking black hairy thing with poisonously green glowing eyes, McGinty and Rondale leaning out the back windows with machine guns and Julius screaming at the driver to keep his eyes on the road, and motorcycle cops and militiamen pour forth like enraged army ants.

Driver
: What? What? What's after us?

The Amazing Julius
: Nepalese Attack Boar! Keep driving!!!

Rondale, at least, does go slightly bonkers, and develops an unnatural fixation on the power of the Thompson machine gun.

GM
: The way it judders in your hand, the way the barrel is so long and hot, you just want to pump bullet after bullet into the body of the thing....

Eventually they resort to magic. This is even better as far as Rondale's new perversion is concerned. He feels so potent. To my even greater incredulity, it works brilliantly. By the time the adventure has gone nicely circular and they're back on King-of-Ireland Street at midnight frantically trying to find McGinty's boss, the thing has been so injured that even as it's tearing the cab apart McGinty and Julius manage to take it down, despite being almost unconscious from exhaustion. And the cab driver loses only a single point of SAN for the experience. A single point??? Talk about unflappable!!!!

 

It gets worse, for me. Even after they split the huge reward between themselves, and earn appropriate kudos from the Bostonian public for their heroic takedown of the Crimson Gang and it's leader, McGinty shifts as much gratitude as possible onto his employer, thus easing that man's entry into Bostonian High Society. The Amazing Julius is guaranteed sell-out performances for the rest of the year, if he can turn his experiences into a stage show. The police, already furious about the investigator's interference in the case, are now doubly so, since despite obvious gangsterism, as prominent citizens and heroes they now can't be touched. And when the players roll their SAN rewards and make their "How Sorcerers Get That Way" checks for all the spells they were throwing around, they not only succeed on the majority, but they maxx out!!! It all goes to Rondale's head. Or one of his heads, anyway.

 

So as a result of their unbelievably good rolling this week the player characters are now all rich, highly esteemed, magically formidable, and have copious sanity and POWER points to spare.

 

At least they didn't get to roll any of the other SAN rewards, or I would have cried. And Malone's family is still out there. And they're NOT happy.....

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From the Sunday Night Jokes Superhero game; the cast are:

 

Zog, The GM

Me, playing Skadi the Brick

Unit, playing Portal Kombat the teleporter

Annie, playing Geigermesiter who uses a magic violin

 

The group discuss origin stories for someone who uses a magical musical instrument...

 

Unit: They were in a plane flying over darkest Africa. The plane crashed, and they were the only survivor, a lone infant. They ere found by a pack of wild violinists who raised them as one of their own.

 

Geigermeister is attacked by a new villain, the dreaded Terror Tuba! He also wields an instrument as a weapon, albeit a different one. Soon he is joined by Skadi and Portal Kombat, and a battle ensues! (oops, I said ensues)

 

Skadi: You may be brass, but let’s see how you can handle percussion! (Full-STR punch)

 

The heroes decide that the best way to defeat Terror Tuba is to destroy his instrument. Portal Kombat and Geigermeister try to use their powers against it, but with little success

 

Zog: His tuba comes under attack from all directions!

 

Realising that he’s in trouble, Terror Tuba flees and uses his weapon to collapse the building that they were fighting in.

 

Terror Tuba: I’ll not endanger my precious tuba again!

Skadi: You evacuate the innocent bystanders while I hold up the roof. I’m the best equipped to survive a building falling on me.

 

As Terror Tuba escapes, Skadi considers the team’s newest enemy.

 

Skadi: He’s as bold as brass.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

You know what they say, Doc. You lose some sanity, you win some sanity.

CES

 

The problem is I can seem to get them to lose any for more than one session. By the end of the adventure they're all back up to normal or above. And of the regular characters, only one player has ever lost any! This is not normal for a Cthulhu campaign! And their dice aren't loaded, I checked.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The problem is I can seem to get them to lose any for more than one session. By the end of the adventure they're all back up to normal or above. And of the regular characters' date=' only one player has ever lost any! This is not normal for a Cthulhu campaign! And their dice aren't loaded, I checked.[/quote']

 

I've been saying for a long, long time now that the published adventures from CoC are far from unsurvivable. It's only the D&D "kill em all and take their loot" mindset that gets people killed. If you play like you're a fragile meatbag against very resilient alien intelligences, you can get by, or hell, even prosper, as your group is showing.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I've been saying for a long' date=' long time now that the published adventures from CoC are far from unsurvivable. It's only the D&D "kill em all and take their loot" mindset that gets people killed. If you play like you're a fragile meatbag against very resilient alien intelligences, you can get by, or hell, even prosper, as your group is showing.[/quote']

 

Two of them snuck into a hideout for gangsters armed with tommyguns, outnumbering by the gangsters three to one, and after sailing through that untouched, proceeded to spray magic around that *required* hemorrhaging magic points and sanity at an appalling rate, and yet they still came out ahead in everything at the end of it. One of them now has superhuman levels of POW.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Two of them snuck into a hideout for gangsters armed with tommyguns' date=' outnumbering by the gangsters three to one, and after sailing through that untouched, proceeded to spray magic around that *required* hemorrhaging magic points and sanity at an appalling rate, and yet they still came out ahead in everything at the end of it. One of them now has [b']superhuman [/b]levels of POW.

I don't see the problem, then...

 

...Obviously, they're turning into Mythos entities. :D

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I don't see the problem, then...

 

...Obviously, they're turning into Mythos entities. :D

 

Well, the sidebar they were making their rolls from is called the "How Sorcerers Get That Way" for a reason.... but they still have some instincts of self-preservation left. Everybody else is highly askance of the necromancy. And even McGinty was alarmed when I described the Ebon Brothers summoned by one spell as being cloven-hoofed and eating whole cows as sacrifice. And, in his own words "There's no fooking way I'm going to call up something called The King of Ghouls"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

;) Maybe it's time they met one.

 

*sighs* They just did. And even in that avatar a failed Sanity check would have cost them d100 SAN. Did it faze them in the slightest? No. Apart from Rondale's habit of rubbing himself against machine guns, and even that didn't last. The party is no longer 'The Travelling Library' anymore, they're the bloody Untouchables.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Two of them snuck into a hideout for gangsters armed with tommyguns' date=' outnumbering by the gangsters three to one, and after sailing through that untouched, proceeded to spray magic around that *required* hemorrhaging magic points and sanity at an appalling rate, and yet they still came out ahead in everything at the end of it. One of them now has [b']superhuman [/b]levels of POW.

 

"Only the insane have strength enough to prosper. Only those that prosper may truly judge what is sane."

 

--Imperial Proverbs and Thoughts For The Day, On Thought

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