Ragitsu Posted January 15, 2011 Report Share Posted January 15, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough PCs stand ready to do violence on their behalf. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted January 16, 2011 Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... BSG : Boardgame Me : But we also draw two cards from the destiny deck. It's entirely possible destiny will frak us in the arse if they're both red cards. If three red cards show up we know that somebody here is a Cylon. Or just stupid. Peanut Gallery : How about colourblind? We pass the Unexpected Reunion check by a huge margin. Saul Tigh : Nobody wants to see Tom Zarek get laid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted January 16, 2011 Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... At GhenghisCon, running an assortment of Cthulhu adventures to amuse and enlighten the poor innocent fools, I mean, convention-goers. A bonus - the venue is a red-brick university building well-infested with vines, leadwork windows, and antique library books. Nicely atmospheric. Running - Kevin A. Ross' "A Pale God" from Great Old Ones, chosen because of the excellent recording at Yog inspired me, and because I don't mind wiping out all my players at a con game. 'The Haunting', because of course I'm going to run the all-time classic for the newbies and 'The Flophouse Fatalities' - a homebrewed, that I knew would work well in under 3 hours, and a nice little mystery ending with more questions than it managed to solve. No quotable quotes, but I was very impressed with the intelligence and foresight of the players in that one. In all sessions the investigators were amateur parapsychologists emulating Harry Price et al and ghost-hunting for fun. It very swiftly stopped being fun. For one thing the events out at the bandstand in 'Pale God' were so horrifying that one PC spent the night staring at a small white thing walking around and around inside a bottle, whilst he himself worked his way through several more, of gin. In the morning he swore to tell the police everything, but his obvious intoxication didn't leave a good impression. Drunken Jock : Eats you up inside! The Worm! In the bottle! The thing in the bottle! Sergeant : Riiiiight... That's that Mexican drink, isn't it? Not that it was all ghastly, at least at first glance. A certain amount of gossip was started in Arkham, for example, when a local doctor and one of his unmarried nurses book a room at the Hotel Miskatonic. Admittedly the shenanigans involved breaking into the room next door, as opposed to anything lewd, but that won't stop the rumours. And being seen driving through town with a large tribal spear strapped to the Model T roof, and wearing a safari helmet and miner's lamps, attracted considerable attention too. Are we wearing university blazers? We can pretend it's part of a scavenger hunt. One of the students develops a slightly deranged affection for some of the specimens - 'Frederick' & 'Isobel' - and wants to see if she can breed them as pets. Me, GM : Um, that would probably be a really bad idea Her : Why? Me, GM : You've seen how they breed Her : *Remembers the screaming, the hysteria, and the state of the corpse.* Oh yeah.... Scenario ends with two of the investigators coming back to the house in question, to find one of their compatriots fleeing for distant parts, one gibbering and preparing to burn the house down, one missing entirely and one gibbering alone in the dark with no idea how he got there or what happened. He finds out a few weeks later, but derives no posthumous satisfaction from the knowledge. Jock OOC : Guess I acquiesced to It's demand. 'Give me your sticky white... love bits' And the classic, The Haunting, with ended with attempted murder, madness, and suicide, thus ensuring that the evil reputation of the Corbitt house will continue forever, especially since they managed to catch the sound of the first round of carnage on wax cylinder. It started well. Quincy the Grad Student : So why did you get into ghost-hunting anyway? Professor OOC : I saw Erotic Ghost Story once and I want an erotic ghost story of my own. Looking at PC photos. Geek : He looks extinguished. Me, GM : EX-tinguished??? Quincy the Grad finds a good way to detect ghosts and other supernatural manifestations - by bashing things with a hammer. Eliot the Geek is left in the haunt room to document everything, measure the room in minute detail, set up a wax cylinder to record - and photograph the blood oozing from the hammer hole in the wall. Me, GM : He really is your party's bitch, isn't he. Alas, the furniture objects to his continued presence. Running back to the haunted room and looking down at their mangled friend. Quincy the Grad : Perhaps he was tired of living? After carting their friend off for a long convalescence they decide they should hit the library for further research. Finding a worm-eaten copy of the Liber Ivonis Quincy the Grad : Shall I do Detect Ghosts on the book? *waves hammer* Quincy the Grad : *to hardware clerk* I want your finest, cheapest ladder! Me, GM : You can always put it on your expenses Quincy the Grad : I want your most expensive ladder! This all proves most useful, and they return to the Corbitt House confident of their imminent success. Instead the four find themselves locked in the basement, defending themselves against demonic possession and worse, one unconscious and stabbed in the intestines, one shot in the knees, one stark-raving bonkers, and one dead having blown his own brains out after a glance at whatever was through the hole in the wall. And all this because they discovered Corbitt's diaries, wanted to cast the spell in it, and went looking for his ceremonial knife. They found it. Then it found them. Me, GM : The Professor has apparently gone insane and is trying to stab Quincy to death. On the other hand, you all know what Quincy is like so stabbing him is entirely understandable. The Corbitt House's reputation for decades of madness, suicide and bloodshed continues... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susano Posted January 16, 2011 Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... 1000 Suns Session Two Cast: Captain Douglas Reginald Archibald Grant Count Akira den Ulrike Jenni Phan Esther Okavango The Iron Mike Tyson (Rinky Dink Cargo Haulers, Inc.), a jump tug We're on the planet Sendak, which is know for its chief export, a lifeform known as a "wild thing." We need to go into town to get paid for our delivery of goods. However, there's a riot going on in town. Jenni on said riot (OOC): "It's not [that bad] yet. We haven't arrived in town." Police Officer: "You're going into town?" Count Akira: Yeah, Captain Asshole is making us." Jenni: "Bramp? What kind of vehicle goes bramp?" Jenni (OOC): "How do I peel out in a hovercraft?" Crew members comment on the possibility of getting arrested: Count Akira: "I'm going to spend a point on diplomatic immunity." Captain Grant: "I'm going to spend an Action Point and never be on this planet." Esther: "I think [they suck] will be our taunt as they haul us off to the sugar mines." Esther comments on the team's battle 'tactics': "Captain... I think we need to head towards the light...." Jenni (OOC): "The Captain is being utterly badass and we're missing it." Jenni comments on the campaign's feel: "This is Firefly meets Traveller." Count Akira: "Travel-Fly!" Jenni: "I wonder if the Captain knows he's no longer in the Navy?" Count Akira: "I htink the Captain thinks we're all Marines." Esther on Captain Grant's recent actions: "Captain, this is stupid." Count Akira: "[it's] casual armor Friday." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susano Posted January 16, 2011 Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Shadowrun 4th Edition Play-Test of a one-shot Convention scenario The Cast: Cherry -- human street samurai Jax Corrigan -- human occult investigator Rail Gunner (a.k.a. RG Spinx) -- elven weapons specialist Xiang Shen (a.k.a. Chang) -- ork physical adept The cast is three women and one man (Jax) so jokes are made about it being a harem anime. Therefore, Jax must be around 20 or so, and live with his younger sister, who's a shrine maiden. Also, keep in mind that Rail Gunner talked like a female Christopher Walken, while Cherry (name taken from the cherry Coke next to me) was played as a female version of Oddball from Kelly's Heroes. GM: "[Henry Steel] is with the Unseelie." Cherry: "F***... I don't mess with any bad elves, man." Xiang on bringing back our target (Henry Steel) dead or alive: "That's good, I can do dead." Rail: "What say you, PI?" Jax: "Oh... you're all real! Thank God!" Rail: "[Xiang] looks like she's suffering from Downs." Police Detective Tex (the troll): "You got something against orks?" Rail: "You're a troll." Tex (slaps chest): "Brotherhood, man." Jax on Xiang's disastrous attempt at gunplay: "I thought you were a gun adept?" Xiang: "I thought this was a gun!" Jax: "I told you this was all major mojo." Rail: "Bad juju." GM to Xiang: "Do you have Intimidation?" Cherry offers some helpful OCC advice:" Do you have 'Lie Like A Rug'?" Rail (OOC): "Hey Chang, you can do it... you're kinda a good guy." Cherry to the female elven mage whose nose she just broke: "Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a woman of wealth and taste." Liire Morre, elven mage: "My name is Morre." Cherry: "Roger?" Lirre: "Hunh?" Cherry: "No one ever gets that one." Cherry: "Morre? That's Jax. He talks to ghosts. I'm not sure it's a good thing if he tries to talk to you." Cherry (OOC) comments on Jax's ability to talk to ghosts: "The way the game is going, Jax is going to get a Jewish grandmother." Rail comments on Cherry, who seems perpetually stoned out of her mind: "Creeps me right the f*** out." Lone Star Officer Thompson: "I need a good reason if I'm going to write an even larger check." Xiang: "Uhmm... banshee?" GM: "What is [Xiang] doing?" Xiang: "John Woo, I have two guns." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted January 19, 2011 Report Share Posted January 19, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Did they ever get it out of the base? Nope. Mainly just an amusing aside. Weasel Stomping Day by Weird al? Correct, and repped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 19, 2011 Report Share Posted January 19, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Detective character: "What's in the safe?" NPC: "The severed heads of people who tried to break into the safe." Detective character: "Looks a bit small for that." NPC: "Well, we don't include the ashes of those who got disintegrated." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bengalelf Posted January 19, 2011 Report Share Posted January 19, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From my Saturday night Champions game. Flame: Fire base mutant hero; based off Firestar from the old cartoon "Spidey and his amazing friends" Oblivion: Party egoist The heroes have just found the IHA and Minuteman Robots battling the villain group Mutant Mayhem. Oblivion mindscans the building and discovers half a dozen IHA agents rushing to join the fight. She puts up a mindlink with party and tells them what she found.... Flame "You can just tell us. We're standing right here." (No need for mindlink) Later after all the heores, except Oblivion, have entered the building and joined the fight. Olivion is happy to look through the window and ego blast people. Flame " "Come inside and be a target with the rest of us." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted January 21, 2011 Report Share Posted January 21, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... More from the 1964 DC Origins campaign (although its about to be 1965 just any day now) ---------------- The League has weekly meetings. Superman has recently encountered a young woman calling herself "Supergirl", though in truth she is the daughter of the WW2 hero Commander Steel Superman: Im going to be taking on a protege... Green Arrow: How exactly do you plan to teach someone to do what you do!? Batman: I wasnt aware that you had an apprentice position open. ----------------- Batman (OOC): I am the dark, mysterious d*ck of the Justice League. ---------------- Superman: Bruce, youve spent all week working on the Isley case. Now you want to break into Lex Luthor's office? Dont you ever take time to relax? Batman: Breaking into Luthor's office is how I relax. ------------------ GM: Superman shows up in the Batcave Superman: .....S'up? ;P GM: *cracks up* ---------------- Superman: Being devious and sneaky is part of your design, Bruce. Its really not a part of mine. *Indicates his costume* I made it as bright as I could. ----------------- Perry White: JIMMY! Get in here! Do you KNOW who just called me? Jimmy Olsen: *hesitantly* ...A....Am I supposed to? ------------------ Perry White: We need to get ahold of Superman! Jimmy Olsen: I...dont know how to get ahold of Superman... Perry White: Think of something! Throw Lois off a building! New Hero 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted January 21, 2011 Report Share Posted January 21, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... More from the 1964 DC Origins campaign (although its about to be 1965 just any day now) ---------------- Perry White: We need to get ahold of Superman! Jimmy Olsen: I...dont know how to get ahold of Superman... Perry White: Think of something! Throw Lois off a building! That is just wrong. Funny. But still wrong... ;D (and I'll rep you if I'm able...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted January 21, 2011 Report Share Posted January 21, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... More from the 1964 DC Origins campaign (although its about to be 1965 just any day now) ---------------- Superman: Bruce, youve spent all week working on the Isley case. Now you want to break into Lex Luthor's office? Dont you ever take time to relax? Batman: Breaking into Luthor's office is how I relax. ------------------ This is a perfect Batman quote that I can see appearing in a comic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susano Posted January 22, 2011 Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Session Three of 1000 Suns Play Test The cast: Captain Douglas Reginald Archibald Grant Count Akira den Ulrike Jenni Phan Esther Okavango Captain Grant: "I can give you a detailed plan of the Captain's activities, down to the quarter hour." GM: "Save that for your Star Trek fanfic." Jenni: "Captain, do we have to take the Kobayashi Maru test again?" "Granny Smith Mensa Bar" GM: "In this game, space hears you scream." GM (speaking as an NPC): "If UTI hears I talked to you... I'll be getting cyber knees." Jenni: "Uh oh, Sparky... busted." Esther (OOC): "Sometimes when a shipping agent and a kleptomaniac love each other very much...." Jenni OOC explains some new gear: "If you press this button, it goes *ping*." Captain Grant (OOC): "I've let my hair down and gone out for hookers and blow." New Hero 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted January 22, 2011 Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Mechwarrior GM : Linda's got two mechs. She's named the small one Paracetemol and the other Novocaine. Reece : Then I'm naming mine Percocet - 'I'm going to f*** you up like Percocet' Reece : *detailing five ways to lethally sabotage a rival's Mech* And that's why I tell the techs to make the cockpits so you can hose them out. Other pilot : And you wonder why we don't trust him. Mech Commander : It's not a matter of trust. I trust him to do his job. I even expect him to come back alive. But f*** I hope he doesn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted January 23, 2011 Report Share Posted January 23, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Dark Heresy continues - several hundred human POW continue their defence of the crash site, waiting for their Tau captors to actually do something, whilst just over the rim several hundred Ork and Ork Freebooterz settle their differences before turning on us. Polonius : Well, we did run into an Ork Nob, and survived. Rosenkrantz : He gave me a love tap. With an axe. Guildenstern : He hit me in the back of the forehead. Polonius : The back of the forehead??? Guildenstern : That's how hard he hit me. Funnily enough, the extra bullet hole in Guildenstern's skull seems to have knocked him back into a semblance of sanity, or perhaps not, since he has a plan to blow up the Freebooterz' Killkruiser, before the Freebooterz, or as he puts it "the fish-driving greenskin pukes", head off to tell all their mates about the "Grate Fightin' Wot Dere Is On Dis 'Ere Moon". Polonius : Whilst your enthusiasm is gratifying perhaps we should leave the tactical decisions to the actual officers? Clearly the Major is out of his mind too, since he thinks this is a good idea and gives Guildenstern a field promotion. Guildenstern : I thought your Ogryn bodyguard was supposed to be carrying you around Major Schott : He's busy Rosenkrantz as Ogryn : Incy-wincy spider, climbed up the waterspout... Polonius : If it's the kind of thing that only one man in a million could achieve, it's just as well that the Imperial Guard serve in regiments a million strong Major Schott : Let the orks get away and they'll just come back bigger and stronger and it'll all just bite you on the arse. Then rip it off. Guildenstern : *To the other POWs* Anybody that wants to know what we're up to is welcome to ask Polonius : Whereupon we'll thank you for volunteering. GM : Thus ensuring nobody asks. Well done. Last meals before the mission Rosenkrantz : I'd rather not get food poisoning the night before we head out. So I'll be sticking to what I know. Polonius : Corpse starch it is then. Rosenkrantz : Does anybody have a peg? Polonius : No, we haven't been able to wash our clothes in weeks either. Rosenkrantz : I meant for my nose The plan is to present a booby-trapped shipping container of guns and grenades to the Ork mercenaries, and hopefully persuade them to carry it all into their armouries aboard ship. Prayers before we go out, and ritual inscriptions on weapons. Guildenstern: *hums the traditional Kringle Carol of Demolition* Polonius : *sings* Let it blow, let it blow, let it blow! Rosenkrantz : And I'll write Merry Kringlemass on the bomb To the cargo walker pilot volunteered for the mission Guildenstern : If you give the plan away I'll shoot you myself. Pilot : If I give it away it's most likely because I dropped the crate and it went off! There won't be anything left to shoot! Guildenstern : If I find a bit, I'll shoot it! Pilot : I'm not going to get it, but I'd have liked to retire from the Guard with a stack of money and and five blondes. Rosenkrantz : Well, I suppose we could put a wig on one of the Orks... Guildenstern : Does anybody here speak Ork? POWs : *Everybody carefully avoids volunteering* Guildenstern : Does anybody here dribble Ork? Shocking revelations about Guildenstern's personal history Rosenkrantz : You were married??? Polonius : To a human??? Guildenstern : *glares at Polonius* Rosenkrantz : I'm sure Brother Polonius merely meant you were married to your job. Isn't that right, Brother Polonius? Polonius : Exactly. It's not like they had sheep on Kringle Guildenstern : *scribbles down Polonius's name on a scroll* Oh, you are so going on the Naughty List Mission successful, but now we're being hunted by the Tau Fire Caste, who are a bit upset we blew up our supposed allies. Let alone the question of where we got all the guns and grenades in the first place. Guildenstern surrendered to them, but you can imagine how the interrogation went, especially after he said he wanted to talk to his skull for legal advice. The Water Caste psychiatric counsellors are going to be enduring loooong sessions with him. The rest of us manage to get aboard a MagLev train from the Tau spaceport to the human settlement of Archangelesk but realise the Fire Caste are going to be waiting to search the train when it arrives. Rosenkrantz : *attempting to radio the train crew* Come in, come in, this is Rosenkrantz of the Kringle regiment, come in! Train's tech-priest crew : Hello, this is a train? Rosenkrantz : Can you please slow down, we need to get off before we reach Archangelesk Train's tech-priest crew : *baffled* Why? Polonius : Put it this way, Private Rosenkrantz - 'There are extraneous organic elements that need to be removed from this vehicle as quickly as possible' Train's tech-priest crew : You mean you, don't you? Alas, they're happily to remove us. Without slowing down the train first. The cargo pod we're hiding in is launched off the train whilst we're still travelling at 100kph. Some of us survive, and Rosenkrantz immediately starts giving the survivors orders. Polonius : You know, they'll really have to promote you soon, so you can get away with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Querysphinx Posted January 23, 2011 Report Share Posted January 23, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From Teh Bunneh's Foxton game. The list of dramatis personae has become rather massive, but these quotes more or less speak for themselves. Master Gunn, Baron du Clef's master of the forest, is recruiting local poachers to take part in a werewolf hunt (as bait as it turns out). Master Gunn: You have killed Norman Poacher: Who's Norman? Master Gunn: The Deer. Didn't you know the Baron has started naming them. He was very fond of Norman Poacher (Wailing): We didn't know it was Norman! Master Gunn talks to the baron's huntmistress, Featherlight Yewstrong. Master Gunn: Would you like to go on a dangerous hunt. Featherlight: "Dangerous hunt. " Two of my favorite words and so very close to each other. Master Gunn: How do you feel about Lycanthropy? Featherlight: Giving or receiving? Nikki, an insane druid, tries to seduce Quion, the baron's clerk, who is the world's most sexually repressed human being. Quion (OOC): She only knows two spells: Mordickain's massive innuendo and groping hands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manic Typist Posted January 23, 2011 Report Share Posted January 23, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... DrHoz, where I can find out more about this Dark Heresy game? Is anyone posting writeups? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost-angel Posted January 23, 2011 Report Share Posted January 23, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Traveller Hero Kurt - the Engineer Harry - the guy who talks Lacey - the gunner GM: You see a blinking light (Lacey is at the controls, and isn't even pretending to be a pilot) Lacey: What is it? Kurt: Fill washer fluid. GM: You're sitting on a gravitational anomaly. Kurt: We move away Harry: You want to give the event horizon a wee bit of room? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted January 23, 2011 Report Share Posted January 23, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... After re-starting my Twilight Guard FtF game after nearly a year's hiatus... My son: Are we playing Champions next week? Me: No. Probably next month. Why? My son: Because I'd forgotten how fun it was and I want to play it again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted January 23, 2011 Report Share Posted January 23, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... DrHoz' date=' where I can find out more about this Dark Heresy game? Is anyone posting writeups?[/quote'] What did you want to know about it? I can give you more details over private message, if you like Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted January 23, 2011 Report Share Posted January 23, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... After re-starting my Twilight Guard FtF game after nearly a year's hiatus... My son: Are we playing Champions next week? Me: No. Probably next month. Why? My son: Because I'd forgotten how fun it was and I want to play it again. I wish I could rep him for this. (Tom's Son) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manic Typist Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... What did you want to know about it? I can give you more details over private message' date=' if you like[/quote'] Uh... pretty much everything? How the group apparently came to be in a crash pit with a bunch of prisoners in Tau territory near some Ork gunrunners? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Uh... pretty much everything? How the group apparently came to be in a crash pit with a bunch of prisoners in Tau territory near some Ork gunrunners? All the characters are prisoners from the Shrineworld Kringle, recently annexed by the Tau, and being shipped en mass to a world deeper inside Tau territory en route we were boarded by Goff Orks, crashed on the target planet's oversized moon, and are now trying to deal with that, using inadequate supplies, and sweet talk the human settlement and the Tau Earth and Water Castes into helping us with weapons and rebreathers, before the Ork Mercenaries that showed up finishing bashing the Goffs, team up with the Goffs, and turn on the civilians and POWs, without the Tau Ethereals and Fire Caste finding out what we've done. We've survived so far.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egyptoid Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... played in a huge convention game, crazily it was 2nd Ed. AD&D some highlights: player had a sword encrusted with runes: THE BIBLE OF SWACK group later found a +2 sword that allowed communication with equines. also encrusted with runes: I SPEAK HORSELY mage called Chryotus; we called him Mr.Creosote all night. Clumsy fighter kept fumbling, and on the fumble table, broke three swords that evening. had to pick up a rusty trollish scimitar to finish the dungeon. I had a fighter-mage, and a woman (never met her before) played a witch. she was tricky and full of spells, but not a combatant, per se. during one fight, she ended up facing down the ogres, while I was up against some goblins. politely I suggested we switch foes, since we seemed mismatched in power levels on these particular opponents. she agreed, and on our next mutual phase we dos-e-doed with each other. the Bard commented on our exquisite castling maneuver. fighter-mage sez: I had to castle her, cause she hardly ever wants to mate. we kept taking lots of wounds. the party's potions, spells, and healing kits were all used up. the characters who had herbalism were trying to stretch one past the DM with "we use this dungeon moss we harvested to make a healing poultice" My fighter-mage had a cat familiar, but it was completely over shadowed by the usefullness of the witch's bat familiar, who had sonar, flight, and scouted ahead, etc. so I played up my cat as a "fraidy" one who avoided all people, even me. I had her always hiding one room back of us. I intentionally had her do nothing for like 7 hours of roleplay, each time the DM asked me about the cat: "hiding" finally my PC went down in a fight, to like -7 hit points. On death's door. Now I have the cat come front and center, volunteering to the other players that it will "bravely go back into town, bearing news of my untimely death, and tell others that the PC party needs reinforcements, etc." This is funny because the implication is that 1. cat is not coming back with any help. 2. cat is utterly relieved at my imminent passing (and its release from servitude) I got healed and the cat went glumly back to hiding. wizard joked about casting Triad Cornering Metal Bolt True on some trolls. fighter-mage: you guys really like my combat banter ? bard: what we have for you is a deep, heart-felt and abiding tolerance. the DM kept forgetting how Initiative worked in this old edition. wizard: you're doing it wrong. bard: he may be using the errata from Blackwater. me: do you mean Blackmoor? DM: shut up and take your turn. halfling thief had a war-dog companion, which out-weighed her slightly. she kept telling me to kiss the puppy, for good luck. bard fails STR climbing roll, and says as he falls into crevasse: "well my mom always said my artistic bent would betray me" wizard: don't come back without either reinforcements or cheese dip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egyptoid Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... part two of crazy AD&D: this is my conscience: Jiminy Earwig. he's a real prick. the paladin had to inter some bodies, and bless them to prevent them rising again as the walking dead. several times during the adventure, as we encountered heinous stuff, the thief repeated what the paladin said "you know, to ward off bad luck" failed a saving throw versus paralysis: "the witty banter cuts right off in mid-speech" one of the ogres seemed real eager to kill himself a spell-caster, any spell-caster: bard: "this one must be fresh out of Ogre School" when the fighter got struck unconscious, and I lifted up his armor to see how bad was the wound, I told the party he wearing a T-shirt under his chain mail that said in elvish runes THIS DUNGEON SUCKS fighting old school trolls: thief: got any oil? bard: now is not the time for a massage. in the library of the dungeon, all the books had been burned, and the scattering ashes in the area made many people sneeze a lot. I dubbed that room Gesundheit 451 bard: where's your stupid cat? me: his name is Winston, but you may call him JAFO thief gets injured by failing to disarm trap cleric: I've heard that the legendaries of your profession all have 9 fingers later the thief botches another trap DM: what's your favorite color? thief: Purple. DM: Green wires holding Orange blades covered with Yellow poison slice into your face. in one large room we had 90 seconds to get in and get out. (long story) so we split up into TEAM SURVEY and TEAM PILFER to maximize what we got from the room (info and loot) in another place TWENTY-TWO large spiders boiled up out of a basement, this is much more than we can handle, and a retreat is called for. last two people to act were me, then the female halfing thief. I rescued her dog, and went out, so she was the last one in there with the spider horde. She got out fine, but she never forgave me for not helping her. "Look. My hands were full: sword and loot sack in one hand, lantern and dog in the other" both the bard and my fighter-mage had fallen into a pit with some carrion crawlers and the party used a rope and and ox to drag us back up out. so for the rest of the night we joked about wearing matching outfits (brown on one side, chain mail on the other) then much later everyone laughed at me when I finally remembered to use a cantrip to clean us both. later the DM had a little "what if" roleplay session with me alone: in an alternate universe, the PC's couldnt heal me, and I fell into a coma, and my cat escaped back to town, and they lost me, but I was later picked up by dark elf slavers, and lived out 2 tormenting years in underground slavery, worked to skin and bones in the jewel mines until a paladin busted through and rescued me {as an aside} to busting out his old mentor who was also kept in my group. So I come riding back into town like a refugee, and who's the first thing I see? my old cat familiar, laying in front of a butcher shop where he's now the pet, all lazy in the sunshine, happily flicking his tail back and forth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonewalker Posted January 26, 2011 Report Share Posted January 26, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... More quotes from BunnySue's Chronicles of the Agency campaign. --- The Agents: The Patriot - Mild-mannered Army Captain Tom Jefferson transforms in the star-spangled powerhouse when he shouts the magic words, "By the Dawn's Early Light!" Rocket Ranger - Aviator and inventor Brett Tucker uses his murdered uncle's advanced rocket pack and weapon gauntlets to protect the innocent. Clubber - Folk musician Charlie Varens uses his superhuman strength and nigh-invulnerability to defend the common, working man. Havoc - Mysterious Annabelle Leonard gained ghost and luck powers and gave up the thieving life to seek new, more worthwhile challenges. The Mighty Huntress - A blood transfusion gives mousy librarian Elsie Ashby the ability to take on a half-tiger and all-woman feline form. Nightwatch - Texas Ranger Jeb Kane utilizes his dark shadow powers to deal with kind of threats even Rangers cannot handle. Artifact - World-traveling archaeologist Esther Rausch is determined to protect the unknowing public from dangerous magical devices that don't stay lost and uses some of those devices in her quest. --- The Agents face down a Mummy guardian who hits them with a Presence attack totaling somewhere in the high 40's. Patriot is unlucky enough to be the first one it attacks... Rocket Ranger: Remember, Patriot, these colors never run! These! Colors! Never! Run! Patriot: They never run. They can stand here in a puddle of their own urine with a snot bubble up their nose... Still rattled by the Mummy's Presence attack, Patriot's oratory skills are not up to their usual flash... Patriot: Don't move another step, you fiend from another dimension...or world...or time...or whatever! In the middle of the Mummy fight... Patriot: I'm not thinking rationally. Rocket Ranger: Do we ever think rationally? Patriot: We're 1930's pulp heroes - what you do expect? The Mighty Huntress tries her hand at some of Clubber's tactics... Mighty Huntress: The best thing to hit a mummy with ... is his own arm! Clubber: Actually, a leg is better. It's a heavier limb. The Agents find themselves in an empty burial chamber... GM: According to the scents, three people came into this room and six came out. Mighty Huntress: That math doesn't make sense! It still doesn't make sense. The Agents track down the evil cult in the midst of a resurrection ceremony. A number of goons take aim at Nightwatch... Patriot: Don't shoot this man - he's from Texas. It'll make him mad! The GM's damage dice hated Nightwatch... GM: Wow - they're really mad at you or something. Nightwatch (OOC): And that makes their bullets hit harder?? During a brief pause in the climatic battle, Patriot and Rocket Ranger discuss tactics against the horde of armed cultists... Rocket Ranger: Y'know, I'm seriously thinking about using my flamethrower on these guys. Patriot: Sure. Why not? Rocket Ranger: That's been your question every time I consider one of my more destructive weapons. Patriot: And you have yet to give me a satisfactory answer. Havoc is too far away to use her Healing Power on the badly wounded Patriot... Havoc: Could someone hike Patriot over to me? Artifact takes control of the magic wand animating several mummies and orders them to attack the evil priests... Rocket Ranger: Go, mummies! Wow - never thought I'd say that. Artifact uses an enchanted blade to sever the soul of the resurrected dark priest... GM: His scream is so horrible it will haunt your nightmares forever... Patriot (OOC): After this adventure, it's going to need to stand in line! Good advice in any setting... Nightwatch: Important diplomatic note - do not walk up to the ancient Egyptian secret society and say 'Sup?' Their mission in Egypt completed, the Agents return home to New York to meet with their commander - Agent Libby Belle... GM: The duty watch tells you that Agent Belle is on the roof. Havoc: Oh, no! I didn't think we did that badly! During the debriefing with Agent Belle... GM: Agent Belle is aware that you succeeded in your mission. Rocket Ranger: How? We only just got back. Patriot: Well, the world hasn't come to an end. Patriot's mild-mannered alter ego tries to balance the books following the Egypt mission... Tom Jefferson: You all saved your receipts, right? Havoc: Yes, for everything that I actually bought. At the session's cliffhanger ending, a vessel from outer space lands in New York. Stunningly beautiful women dressed in bikini tops, mini-skirts, and fish bowl helmets emerge... Rocket Ranger: Bet you wish you hadn't worn spandex today, huh? Patriot: Kind of regretting it, yes. --- More in a few weeks. Lonewalker New Hero 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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