CrosshairCollie Posted January 27, 2011 Report Share Posted January 27, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Best presented without context: "Gerbils make a fine salad dressing, and nobody's going to convince me otherwise." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egyptoid Posted January 28, 2011 Report Share Posted January 28, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... DEATH-WATCH - 4OK RPG We are extracting an item from an Imperial world overrun by Tau. Tactical Marine finds a Frisbee in a ruined hotel, paints eyelashes on it with marker, and then a feminine mouth with lipstick. Then later on throws the Tau Gun Drones off our tail with this red herring. === Our marines busted hatch seals to get into the basement of the govt. building. Our engineer notices differences in the markings on the equipment, and convinces himself that we are in a Titan Legion base, and that our objective is Titan related. He works himself into a lather, thinking about a Titan. "370,000 Techmarines in the Imperium, and our squad gets the obsessive ba****d" "hey Tech, Your transfer to Death-Watch was more of a lateral move than a promotion, eh?" Turns out he was wrong: it was Legio Cybernetica. (Old Robot Tech) === (the nick-name engraved on the squad heavy weapon: VENTURA) ==== Finally my Devastator gets to really open up with the heavy bolter "now this place is starting to feel like home again" === sadly when the GM asked the techmarine to say the litany of correction, this is what came out of his mouth: oompa loompa dippity do, maintain your bolter, it will maintain you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted January 28, 2011 Report Share Posted January 28, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Best presented without context: "Gerbils make a fine salad dressing, and nobody's going to convince me otherwise." I damn-near had a heart-attack when I thought this was the "Quotes From Real Life" thread... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted January 29, 2011 Report Share Posted January 29, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I damn-near had a heart-attack when I thought this was the "Quotes From Real Life" thread... I thought it was, but after reading websites like Not Always Right, it didn't hit me as that odd a thing for...someone...to... ...HELP! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragitsu Posted January 29, 2011 Report Share Posted January 29, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "So, what field of science do you specialize in?" "Field? Bitch, please, i'm as comfortable with a bunsen burner as I am a cyclotron" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted January 30, 2011 Report Share Posted January 30, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... After some delay, and sans Amy, but with a new player and a reappearance by the infamous Lucy Smith. Mansion of Madness, Part Deux When last we met, McGinty & Rondale had dived from a second storey window, Amy, half stupefied herself, was dragging a shell-shocked sheriff out by his collar, and McGinty & Rondale were bleeding and battered as they ran around the house frantically firing incendiary rounds through every window. This is the point when they heard the screams for help from upstairs, and realised that they'd probably just left the man they'd come to rescue inside the house they just set on fire. Incidentally, making 5 counts of arson that the authorities can connect to McGinty. Not counting the ones they can't. McGinty : That's just me arsin' about. The Amazing Julius : I've got an Arts degree, thank you! Me, GM : And a police record McGinty : We don't have Molotov cocktails, we have Warmth Enhancers. A rescue is enacted, and with the Sheriff catatonic and his deputy totally outclassed, they have no difficulty in putting everything down to the actions of the cult leader the Boston Police have been hunting down. Two mob goons that have been hanging around are extremely unhappy about all this police involvement, even though they're only there to give McGinty $2500 for another little errand he was commissioned to perform. But not, presumably, as unhappy as they were later when something tore them limb from limb on a lonely Pennsylvanian road, mere minutes after McGinty's fearsome battletruck almost drove them off it. Possibly it was the same thing that landed on the roof of the truck later, and ripped the gun hatch off the top of the cabin. Safe driving practices Me, GM : You're going to try to restrict McGinty's access to alcohol? McGinty : I'd like to see you try Rondale : I'll fight monsters, but I'm not going to fight you! New character, Dr. Alicia McPool, a linguist at Radcliffe, and friend of Amy Wells and Lucy Smith. My wife, of course, instantly puts her notorious Smut Field back into action, with speculation as to why she was over at Lucy & Amy's apartment when the Boys rocked up. Lucy OOC : Is she a cunning linguist? McGinty et al don't make an overwhelmingly good impression on Dr. McPool on their arrival, as they deposit the catatonic Amy on her bed in Cambridge and prepare to head back up to Arkham to investigate the aftermath of the third robbery attempt ( the one McGinty hoped to thwart by rigging his house to explode ). Rondale : At least he's dressed. He could have been wandering the streets drunk and naked. Julius as McG : 'Wait... wait... I've got my underwear on... that means I'm awake.' Alicia : *eavesdropping on the whispered conference between McGinty and his co-conspirators* Thing in the truck? What thing in the truck? McGinty OOC : It's something new. Call a GPS Once again, despite having done the police's job for them, and despite the trail of dead and mutilated bodies that turn up wherever he seems to go,. McGinty somehow turns this all to his advantage, and gets the police to hold yet another press conference in his honour. And announce his candidacy for Governor of Massachusetts. Alarmingly, his policies would seem to have high popular appeal. And he has a long list of people he can influence or blackmail to achieve it. They also run into another person they know, a flapper they met at a speakeasy a few nights before. Her friend has gone missing, after sneaking into the office of the owner on a dare. This is probably not good, but McGinty and friends nonetheless think it a better idea to spend the next few days Resurrecting Colonel Lancaster; being worried by the discovery that the third burglary attempt involved something flying in through a second storey wall and shrugging off 24 grenades with no obvious injury and the theft of the Voodoo Doll he'd used on the hyena-thing he had a grudge against; writing reports to ONI; recruiting political advisers; and buying a $20,000 Dusenberg J complete with custom hatbox. McGinty : It's for Heady LaMarr there *jerks thumb at Lancaster's Braincase* Whilst Rondale is on phone to Agent Landing at ONI McGinty : Don't forget to say 'McGinty for Governor' Alicia : *eyeing the damage to the truck* What did that? It almost looks like something tried to rip the roof off the cabin. The Amazing Julius : Nepalese Attack Boar. There's been a rash of them. Alicia : *prodding Lancaster's Braincase, which is wisely keeping schtuum* And what's this? McGinty : That's... er.... Look! Squirrel! Alicia : *long pause* You are a very odd man Alicia like so many of the other investigators, has an interest in the occult. Unlike them, she's convinced that the more mainstream stuff actually works. They find this blackly hilarious. The Amazing Julius : Why bother standing around a cauldron? THAT *points* tradition needs you to dance naked under the moon. McGinty : Oh, yes, do that one, do that one! ... er, sorry. All this time spent, and the missing flapper hopefully still alive ( well, she was alive ), the group truck up to the eponymous Mansion in the title. Whereupon scenes of such horror, filth, and degradation ensue that McGinty is persuaded NOT to take credit for this one, and they grab any books that look interesting and flee, before the police arrive to investigate the machine-gun fire, explosions, screaming, and the like. Alicia, alas, does not take the evening at all well, and the fortunately amnesiac Lancaster has to be dragged out. I do not envy the police when they arrive and discover the ghastly remains that have been left behind. New Hero 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Mackinder Posted January 30, 2011 Report Share Posted January 30, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Our most recent 'Serenity' RPG session. The Ref has a 'Bennie Point' system going, whereby PCs accumulate Bennies for various things, and expend them to help each other's die rolls (and/or "skew" certain results ). Our group is checking out a supposedly empty area on a newly terra-formed planet, and find a bunch of slavers. Naturally, we decide to take them down and rescue the slaves (some of the latter are people we had been searching for - they owe us money!). Anyhow, thanks to some inspired sniping from Mike, our combat monster / powergamer, whats left of the bad guys wind up cornered. Both sides use smoke bombs, so things start getting kind of strange. Phil, our covert ops dude, manages to sneak in close to the other guys. Out of the smoke looms one of the major bad guys. He has a BIG combat knife in each hand, is wearing lots of body armour, and has a dog whistle clenched in his teeth (the slavers had at least two BIG Rotweilers). Phil says, "OK, I'm kneecapping the b#####d." Everybody else starts dumping Bennies into the attempt. Phil's character is a good shot but we aren't sure of the exact odds, and nobody wants to take chances with this Psycho (the slaver, not Phil). Referee tallies up the Bennies and dives into the rule books. Finally, Phil rolls some dice, doing tolerably well. With all those Bennies AND the GMs interpretation of the rules, it seems that enough damage is done in the kneecapping to kill the bad guy outright. Understand, we are OK with this. One less threat and, after all, the guy is a Slaver. Anything we do to him would probably be far less than he deserves. And it is conceivable that somebody could die of shock after being kneecapped. But, just doesn't seem .... appropriate, is all. Inspiration hits me. I toss two more of my Bennies into the pile (I had plenty), and provide some input: "OK. This guy didn't actually die from the kneecapping. But he flinches when Phil shoots him (who wouldn't?). So, he actually swallows his own dog whistle - and choking on that is what kills him!" Rest of the party is greatly amused, and express approval. Ref accepts the idea - well, that is 'sort of' what he gives out Bennies for, after all. Did get me to thinking about it afterwards. Imagine this guy's afterlife, trying to get into (say) Valhalla. They ask him to talk about the battle he died in, and all he can say is "Some guy shot me in the knees, and then I swallowed my whistle...". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted January 30, 2011 Report Share Posted January 30, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Our most recent 'Serenity' RPG session. The Ref has a 'Bennie Point' system going' date=' whereby PCs accumulate Bennies for various things, and expend them to help each other's die rolls (and/or "skew" certain results ).[/quote'] I use 'Get Out Of Hell Free' cards for that in my Cthulhu game. If I'm impressed by their actual roleplaying, say, Amy and Paul's emotional argument about the nature of their battle against the Mythos, I give them each a card they can spend to get themselves or the other players a reroll. Seems to work quite well. They certainly burn through them faster then they earn them, at any rate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted January 31, 2011 Report Share Posted January 31, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Last night was, I suspect, the last session for my S-Squad Champions campaign, and I was tying up the few remaining loose ends. The fun started with Sentinel, who heard on the news that VIPER agents showed up on her college campus to tranq-dart and kidnap Juan (a student she had tutored in Chemistry who is also the son of the Spanish ambassador). Sentinel's 16 year-old daughter Sarah (aka Shepherd) has had a major crush on Juan, going to see him play soccer (he's a star player at Northwestern) many times, inviting him over to dinner, etc. Unbeknownst to both Sentinel and Sarah, Juan is also a Human Torch-type named Infierno, representing the Chicago Fire soccer team on the Windy City Sportsmen. The Sportsmen are technically supervillains, though mostly they're just superpowered oft-drunk Chicago sports fanatics out to have a good time, with just a few crimes committed on the side to attract the babes and pay for the brewskis. After hearing about the kidnapping and being unable to reach Sarah by cell phone, Sentinel goes to the teen heroes' base, which formerly belonged to a 1950s superhero team, the Liberty League. The teens are all out, so she talks to their robot janitor Jason, who suggests contacting them via their Liberty League wrist communicators. Sentinel: Do they have GPS on them? Jason: GPS? I am unfamiliar with that term. Hold, please. Searching. Specs has gotten me remote access to something called the "World Wide Web." (pause) It is... fascinating. Serendipity (OOC, imitating Jason): But what is this "prOn" everybody talks about? Sentinel calls Sarah's League communicator, causing it to beep loudly just as the teen heroes are sneaking into a VIPER safe house to rescue Juan. Sarah (with sounds of erupting gunfire in the background): [sarcastically] Thanks, mom! Way to spoil the element of surprise! Sentinel flies to the scene to find three of the teen heroes (Sarah, Powerplay, and Stretch) fighting alongside two of the Windy City Sportsmen (Iron Mike and Cubbie), finishing off the last of the VIPER agents and dragged a drugged Juan (along with his twin sister whose name I forgot) out of the house. Police sirens are keening in the distance. Since Sarah's powers aren't for direct combat but she'd be darned if she wasn't there personally to rescue Juan, she had gone to the Liberty League's museum / trophy room and borrowed the costume and equipment for the Flying Fox, a 1950s female sneak thief. Think the fox-equivalent of the 1960s TV Catwoman costumes -- slinky bodysuit with fur highlights and of course a fox tail. Sentinel (pointing at Juan): Do you need me to help out? Iron Mike (to Sentinel): No thanks, we're doing fine. (to the teen heroes, though he doesn't know they're teens) Great job! Want to join us in a victory keg? Powerplay: Sure! Sounds great! Sentinel (OOC): Doesn't he know they're underage? GM: No reason why he should. All three are in costumes. (player discussion follows, all through Mind Link, on how she could head off underage drinking without revealing she is Shepherd's mom) Subliminal (OOC): You could tell Iron Mike your x-rays tell you that Powerplay is only 17.5 years old. Sentinel (OOC): Is he dumb enough to fall for that? GM: From what you know of him, possibly. He'd probably say, "You can tell that? Cool! Can you tell how old I am?" Styx: If he did, you could just use your x-rays to read his driver's license. GM (laughing): I could see that. You'd be like (tilting head to the side, almost upside down, to read the driver's license). Sentinel (OOC): And if he asked what I was doing? GM: You say you're just counting the rings. Sentinel (pointing at Sarah): ... and she's only 16! Iron Mike: Sixteen?! (glares at Cubbie) Cubbie: What?! I didn't know that when I said what I said! Sentinel: What did he say? Iron Mike: NOTHING. Sentinel takes Sarah aside to scold her. Sentinel: What are *they* (gesturing at Iron Mike and Cubbie) doing here? Sarah: They came to rescue Juan. They said Infierno, y'know, their soccer guy, he insisited they had to save Juan. Subliminal (OOC, sarcastically): "Infierno" is Spanish, isn't it? Gee, I wonder who *he* could be? Styx (OOC, sarcastically): Y'think? Sentinel: What? What are you two talking about? Subliminal (OOC, realizing Sentinel hasn't connected the dots): Nothing. (to GM) Is this house located near O'Hare? Because right now would be a good time for a plane to take off and go (waves hand over head and makes zooming noise) right over her head. GM gets out the clue-by-four and takes a whack. GM (OOC to Subliminal): Should I make it painfully obvious? (as Sarah, to Sentinel) I'm just surprised that Infierno didn't come along on the rescue. Him being a big fan of Juan and all. Sentinel (earnestly clueless): So, where is he? (GM, Subliminal, and Styx stare at her for several seconds) Sentinel: Wait... is Juan actually Infierno? Sentinel notes that a resident of one of the nearby houses has a camcorder and has been filming the action, including Sentinel taking "Flying Fox" aside for a chat. Sentinel: I don't want this to look to anybody else like I'm talking to my daughter. Styx (OOC): There's no way you can make this (shakes finger and mimes telling someone off) look like *anything* but a mom telling her kid off. The GM takes pity on her anyway. TV news reporter: And in this exclusive video footage, we see Sentinel confronting someone who appears to be the descendant of the 1950s criminal Flying Fox, and then chasing off the Windy City Sportsmen... On to other stuff. The current VIPER Chicago Nest Leader, Magnetite, contacts Serendipity to share some information that indicates that the former Chicago Nest Leader, Windchill, may not be safely locked in Stronghold as everybody thinks. Since staging a full-out, unsanctioned attack on the PRIMUS HQ, Windchill was literally booted out of VIPER and is supposed to be personal-non-grata with them. So why did VIPER's upper eschelons transfer a bunch of veteran agents who were loyal to Windchill, along with their specialty cold-based weapons and equipment, to the London Nest? Subliminal and Serendipity contact Stronghold to arrange a meet with Windchill, whom they last dropped off at Stronghold East (Riker's Island, New York City). Note that there is absolutely no love lost between Windchill and S-Squad. PRIMUS contact: We transferred Windchill out to Stronghold West (New Mexico) two months ago after receiving credible intel that the New York City Nest was planning a hit on him. Sentinel: So why didn't you just let it happen? PRIMUS contact (jokingly): Yeah, when we did the transfer, we had him waiting in the middle of the exercise yard for, oh, an hour and a half, but VIPER never made a move on him. So we had to ship him out. Windchill's expresses reluctance to talk to the heroes. Sentinel: He has a beef with us? GM: Beef?! He has a whole *cow* with you! Stronghold guard: If you don't object, rather than pulling him out to a conference room to talk with you, we'll take you down to his cell. Y'know, like we do with lawyers and such. Subliminal: Lawyers? I didn't think we were going down *that* far! Well, he looks and sounds like Windchill. To check if Windchill's skin is as cold as he normally is, Serendipity keeps putting her hand on his arm and is making small talk with him. This is coming across as very flirty. Windchill: What is this, a conjugal visit? (nods at Subliminal) What's he gonna do, watch? Serendipity: He likes to watch. Subliminal (wryly, to Styx): Great. Apparently, I like to watch. Meanwhile, Subliminal is snooping on Windchill's mind telepathically. "Windchill": Wow, she's got a great rack. I wonder if Jorgensen (GM note: Windchill's secret ID) ever hit that? Serendipity: Well, unless he likes talking about himself in the third person, I don't think he's the real Windchill. More to come... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted January 31, 2011 Report Share Posted January 31, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... A last note on Sentinel's interaction with Sarah / Shepherd: Sentinel: Can I get Synergy to make some kind of "chip" I can implant under Sarah's skin so I can locate her wherever she is? The S-Squad financier (and Serendipity's fiance) Aidan Beck is flying to New York City to meet up with Serendipity and Styx to attend the opening concert of an Irish rock band -- Serendipity has arranged this, their first US tour. As they're setting up, she gets a cell phone call from Aidan, but the voices are distant. Serendipity: So, he hip-dialed me? I'll listen in, hear who he's cheating on me with. Unknown male voice: ... and we'll be on our way. Aidan: Listen, S-Squad kicked your butt, what, two times already? What makes you think the third time's the charm? Serendipity: Huh. I guess he didn't dial it by accident. Meanwhile, Aidan's pilot switched the jet's transponder over to indicate a hijacking in progress. A few minutes later, Aidan's plane goes into a spin and crashes southwest of Kalamazoo, MI. The heroes rush to the scene, but the only body found in the wreckage is the pilot's. Subliminal accesses Serendipity's memory of the phone call to play to the other heroes, and Styx recognizes the other voice as Mechassassin. Of note: several adventures ago, Styx ripped the tine off a forklift to impale a regenerating supervillain, Electrocutioner, after he blatantly killed several innocents. Styx: Remember, forklifts come with two tines... Sentinel (to Serendipity): When we "chip" Sarah, do want us to "chip" Aidan as well? Before leaving for Kalamazoo, Styx left his adopted daughter, Amber, in the care of the staff at Serendipity's bar in NYC. (She is the birth daughter of a now-dead State Department official who uncovered proof of a world-spanning secret criminal organization known as Moriarty.) As the heroes search for Aidan, the bar manager calls Serendipity. Bar manager: I know I'm going to be fired, but that little girl, Amber... she disappeared from the office. We've searched the bar but can't find her anywhere... Sentinel: That's it. We're going to "chip" *all* of our DNPCs! Synergy's player was late to the game, and we joked that we were going to act like he was getting married. Subliminal: So, I'll go back to Chicago and grab Aidan's hairbrush and... (sees Synergy's player walk in and without missing a beat) ... while we're in Vegas, can we stay at that hotel that looks like a giant pyramid? GM: The big question is, would Synergy want the ceremony performed by Elvis, or Darth Vader? Or maybe Obi Wan Kenobi? Synergy: Definately Vader. Subliminal: No, it should be Yoda. (imitating Yoda) Congratulations, married, you are! Back to the actual action. Serendipity gets a phone call from her UNTIL contact. Lt. Cahill: You'll see it on the news, but I just wanted to inform you that Eurostar attacked the European Stronghold prison to break out Durak. In the confusion, (IRA super-terrorist and Serendipity's personal enemy) Liam Donelly escaped. And then Styx gets a cell phone call from his FBI friend, Ethan Meyer. Styx: Okay, who's missing this time? Ethan: Um.... nobody? (confused pause) Uh, I just have a phone intercept I thought you'd want to hear... The phone caller tells someone at a London exchange that "both packages" will arrive by morning. The heroes locate Aidan Beck in a cargo plane heading for Heathrow Airport. Teleporting aboard, they find him, drugged, in a coffin with an oxygen mask strapped to his face. Serendipity: I'll open it up. (to Sentinel) Can you bring him conscious? Sentinel: Sure. Subliminal: You know, if he's not in this when it arrives, it might put Amber at risk. GM (to Serendipity): What are going to do? "Oh, hi, honey, don't worry, we're here, everything's okay. But you can't come with us. B'bye! (slam!)" The heroes fly by all planes going from NYC to London, scanning them with both Subliminal's Mind Scan and Styx's Life Sense, and are unable to find Amber on any of them. Styx: Can I add Megascale to my Life Sense if I slam my balls with a brick? Synergy uses his Variable Power Pool to make a magical tracker with Megascale and locates Amber, already in England. Subliminal locates her with his Mind Scan and snoops in her mind to see where she is: a fancy home library with a bored-looking teen boy nobody recognizes, and an attractive redhead female that Styx recognizes as Omega (precog and retrocog from PSI) in disguise. Subliminal: My powers are invisible, and I'm using the extra effect so Amber doesn't even know I'm in her mind. I'm not going to tell her anything yet, because I don't want to tip them off. GM: You can tell Amber is crying. Teen boy (patting Amber on the arm): Hey, kid, calm down. Don't let my uncle's freakazoid friends scare you. (turns to redhead) Is there anything you can do? I'm no good with kids. (goes back to playing his GameBoy) Omega: Hey, it's okay, Amber, is it? Don't worry, Amber, everything's going to be just fine. GM (to Subliminal): Make a PER roll. (He makes it) Omega gets an odd look on her face. Omega: Would you like something to drink? Some chocolate milk, maybe? (to teen boy) Keep an eye on her for a sec, I'll be right back. Subliminal: She has Danger Sense, doesn't she? The heroes teleport into the library, blasting Omega (of PSI) and the teenage boy unconscious. And then Harvester (scythe-wielding killer from the Ravagers) arrives, followed by Mechassassin (head of Brute Squad), Utility (recently joined GRAB), Doubletap (freelance killer), and Liam Donelly (IRA). Outside, Windchill and a half-dozen VIPER agents are heading toward the house. Styx: What is this? Everybody we hate has joined forces? Hey, where's Viperia? Subliminal: If she shows up, we're outta here. There's no way we're fighting her again. Liam is Desolid so only Subliminal and Serendipity can attack him. But with most of the villains down, he sees the way the battle is going and bolts through the walls and is running away. But Subliminal has a telepathic lock on him Subliminal: You can run, but you can't hide. Liam: Screw you, Yank! GM: Liam disappears. You lost him. Subliminal: But I can maintain that link anywhere on Earth! GM: And if he skipped to another dimension? Subliminal: Okay, I lost him. Moriarty turns out to be the teenage boy, who like Subliminal is an immortal with psionic powers. He refuses to speak aloud to the heroes, insisiting that Subliminal contact him telepathically. Meanwhile, UNTIL has arrived in force. The endgame involved stolen nukes that Moriarty telepathically tells the heroes he hid in Chicago, NYC, London, Moscow, and Beijing to guarantee his freedom. At first refusing to bargain with Moriarty, the heroes search and find the first three nukes. After they find the one in London (hidden in the "Gherkin")... Moriarty: Pity. I would have been doing the sighted world a favor by destroying that building. Moriarty refuses to speak anything about the nukes aloud, claiming (to the UNTIL agents) that he's just an innocent kid the heroes are "picking on." Subliminal (telepathically): You're so childish! Moriarty (telepathically): Pot, meet Kettle. Time running out, the heroes make the deal to get the Moscow and Beijing nukes. Subliminal: So, where do you want us to take you? Moriarty: How about Tokyo? Subliminal: What, do you have an anime convention you have to get to? Moriarty: No, on second thought, I think Paris would be a better idea. Subliminal (slams head on table): I swore that this character was *never* going to say, "Okay, we go to Paris, France." A running gag from several Champions campaigns back was that, any time the heroes didn't know what they were going to do next, Subliminal's player would blurt out, "Okay, we go to Paris, France." It was quite the non-sequitor. He did it enough times that one time I made the plot resolution require a trip to France. After they drop him off in Paris... Moriarty: The deactivation code is CPE-1704-TKS. Serendipity: And where are they, exactly? Moriarty: Oh, sorry. That would help, wouldn't it? (sheepish grin) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrankL Posted February 1, 2011 Report Share Posted February 1, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Last night was, I suspect, the last session for my S-Squad Champions campaign, and I was tying up the few remaining loose ends. Sad to hear that. I've enjoyed the S-Squad tales. Maybe it's the end of one campaign and the beginning of another... A man can dream, anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Flash to Superman: Clark, your home planet is SO COOL, even its DIRT can give people super-powers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Sad to hear that. I've enjoyed the S-Squad tales. Maybe it's the end of one campaign and the beginning of another... A man can dream' date=' anyway.[/quote'] I hope that will happen. The current situation had me as one of 3 GMs trading off every Sunday evening. (The other two both run D&D games.) It was fine with 2 GMs, but three makes it too long between each campaign's sessions, killing continuity in all three games. Mine and one of the D&D games (the 3.5 one) have been reaching their ends; I expect that one will end in a month or so. Then we need to make some decisions about what games to run next. Rest assured, if/when I start a new campaign, you'll be introduced to the new heroes and I'm sure my players will provide more quotable tales to tell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Houston GM Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 Quotes from Owlcon - part 1 TOON !! A bottle of ink was stolen from the Toonville Museum. Anything drawn with the ink would become real in the Tooniverse. Thanks to the GM, this game should have been a complete train wreck. Thanks to the players, it was a funny train wreck instead. Cast of characters: Chipper, the squirrel Kim Probable, a pre-generated character that the GM ran as an NPC member of the group RoboRabbit, with powers similar to Inspector Gadget Tiny, the very large dog During character creation. Chipper (ooc): I have the belief "They're only bigger then me if THEY know they're bigger than me." Tiny: "I'm bigger than you." Chipper: "What do you mean? You're Tiny." Tiny: (pondering) "I can't argue with that." Ten ways in which the game was a train wreck: 1. The GM spoke in a monotone. 2. The plot of the game was a mystery, but the GM didn't suggest that people should take detective-like powers during character creation. 3. To move the mystery forward the GM had people roll their Detect Hidden Things skill, even though none of the PCs had the skill. 4. When everyone failed the roll Detect Hidden Things roll, the GM would muddle around for a few minutes, then have everyone roll (and fail) again. 5. The GM's NPC (Kim Probable) was designed to be more competent than all of the PCs combined. 6. Kim Probable also had discretionary deus ex machina powers. 7. Despite this, two of the PCs were more competent than Kim Probable. 8. The GM would have Kim Probable carry on conversations with other NPCs (for example, on her wrist phone), forcing the players listen to him talk to himself in a monotone. 9. For 45 minutes, the GM steered the plot onto a tangent (an invasion of flying saucers) that didn't further the plot, and which hadn't been caused by the players' actions or inaction. 10. The concluding explanation for the story would have fit better in Final Fantasy than Toon. While searching a library for the ink, the PCs discovered a bomb. RoboRabbit (ooc): I eat the bomb. The bomb exploded, blowing RoboRabbit into pieces. Tiny: "I'll try to put him back together." Chipper: "I have a BandAid !!" The PCs discovered an empty ink bottle and a fountain pen. Tiny: "We have the bottle, but what happened to the ink?" Chipper: "Maybe it's disappearing ink." Tiny: "If it's disappearing ink, then how will we find it?" Chipper: "Maybe it's disappearing-reappearing ink." Tiny: "What if it disappears again." Chipper: Then it's disappearing-reappearing-disappearing ink." Tiny: "What would we do then?" Chipper: "Wait to see if it's disappearing-reappearing-disappearing-reappearing ink." Tiny: "After a while, this could become very complicated to discuss." The fountain pen contained a small amount of the missing ink. Tiny (ooc): I go to the nearest fast food joint, Meaty's Meat Shack, draw a circle on the wall, then color it in to make a hole through the wall. A black hole formed, sucking the wall and other nearby objects inside. For the next 30 minutes, the game played like a cartoon. Chipper drew a cork to plug the hole. RoboRabbit drew a cannon to shoot the plugged hole into space. At the last minute RoboRabbit decided to shoot the plugged hole at a satellite instead. It hit the satellite and the satellite fell from the sky toward Toonville. Tiny was given a spacesuit and shot from the cannon at the satellite. RoboRabbit used his jetpack to fly along. They unplugged the hole and it sucked the satellite in before sucking itself up as well. Chipper watched as Tiny flew toward the falling satellite. GM: As you watch through the telescope, the falling satellite keeps getting larger. Chipper: (shouting upward) "It's getting bigger, Tiny. That will make it easier to catch." The free-flowing Toonscapades were interrupted by a random invasion of flying saucers showed up which Kim Probable destroyed with a deus ex machina device. During a break. GM: I called her Kim Probable so nobody would realize that she was actually Kim Possible. If people realized that she was actually Kim Possible, then everyone would want to play her, because she's good at everything. Silence followed, as the players stared at each other in stunned disbelief. The PCs and Kim Probable took a bus to another library. GM: Rockets come out of the sides of the bus. As the bus begins flying, a wormhole opens in front of it and the bus flies in. Chipper: "Wow! That must be one really big worm!" In the lobby of the library was a large (empty) inkwell. Without explanation, it suddenly filled with ink. Chipper: "See. I told you it was disappearing-reappearing ink." The ink disappeared again. Chipper: "I knew it. It's disappearing-reappearing-disappearing ink." Tiny: "How do we find it again?" Chipper: "We wait. I bet it's disappearing-reappearing-disappearing-reappearing ink." Tiny: "But how do we solve the mystery if the ink disappears every time it reappears?" Chipper: "It's a mystery. Libraries are full of mystery books. Let's go find the book about this mystery and see how we solve it." Tiny: "We can do what my master's wife does. We can skip to the back to see how it ends." Chipper: "That's a good idea." Tiny: "I'll stay and sniff around for the ink while you search. Dogs can't read." Chipper: (cheerfully while searching through the bookshelves) "Squirrels can't read either." Kim Probable came out from the back of the library, reading the mystery book. Kim Probable: "This explains it. The ink is made of energy. The ink is a life form. That's how it creates things." Chpper and Tiny: (nodding) "Ohhh." Chipper and Tiny gave each other a confused look and shrugged. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susano Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Sessions 5 & 6 of The Well of the Worlds Session 5 After many animal husbandry jokes: Player: "What's the name of this town?" Player: "Southern California." Donovan takes custody of a prisoner, then we all want to go on a tour of the defenses. Marcus (the geek) draws his gun and shoots the prisoner with an NND. "Now we can both go." Later, the group questions the prisoner (Jonathan), who is an anthropomorphic fox. Later questions include: "How long have you been a small, woodland animal?" "Have you ever considered not being a fox?" Jonathan admits to being a furry back on Earth. Cyan: "I think we can all agree this is really awkward right now." The PCs locate and discuss attacking a group of 40-60 bandits. Captain Jiranee: "Just the six of you?" Edward: "You can come if you want." At the camp, Billy-Jo does a PRE attack. The GM: "These three are reconsidering their life's options." Billy-Jo: "Better think fast—I'm only one hex away." Player: "Show 'em your t*ts!" Cyan's player lifts his shirt: "Quaaid! Start the reactor!" Calvin walks up and stabs an enemy, while he's crawling away trying to put out flaming oil: "I don't see what's so hard about this combat thing." Session 6 Cyan on Calvin: "Once you get past all the smarminess, he's an okay guy." The GM, after a discussion on Marcus' continuing attempts to make gunpowder turns to The Anarchist's Cookbook and failures on making napalm: "Take it to a school and throw it at the kids—if it sticks, it's napalm." Discussing Jonathan, a social misfit. Yar: "I know that guy." Nate: "Everyone knows that guy. For Matt and me, it's Josh." Josh (out in the kitchen): "What!?" The GM to Calvin: "I'll use the dirty counter for you, because you get more sex." Edward: "I Move-Through the pilot." The GM: "You're gonna take half damage." Edward: "This is Ed." Edward yells out his attack, and Cyan tries to shout a warning. The GM: "He can't hear you over how awesome he is." The GM is using INT in case of tied DEX to see who goes first. Donovan (OOC): "You're just going to have to get smarter." Billy-Jo (OOC): "I don't think that's going to happen." The GM: "Billy-Jo's phrase to activate a Push is 'Hey, y'all! Watch this!'" Donovan grabs a guy and flies straight up. On his phase the Grabbed character makes the contested STR roll and breaks free. There is a Wile Coyote moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balabanto Posted February 5, 2011 Report Share Posted February 5, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Tonight in my Rifts game, the characters were in the Native American Spirit world while they left their bodies behind in a haze of peyote, looking for their spirit animals so that they could get the information they needed. So the first animal they encounter is a Puma. Puma: So, now, your challenge is to guess which of you I am the spirit animal of. (Looks over the Aviane Gunslinger and flicks his tail.) You're looking pretty tasty. Roarshack the Dragon: You're also looking pretty tasty. Puma: I am a spirit animal. You don't want to know what I taste like. What's the dog thing? Roarshack: He's a dog man! Puma: Hmmm. Not very tasty. Skor, the Aviane Gunslinger: I don't find it particularly funny that the Puma wants to eat me. Puma: Tell you what. I won't eat you if one of you comes over here and rubs my tummy and scritches my chin. Jenifer the Elf Mind Melter: I'll do it. (Walks over) Skor: No, he'll eat you! It's a trap! Puma: Would I do that? (Rrrr...purrr...roll over...) Roarshack: I still think he's tasty. Puma: Like I said, I don't think so. Your friend the bird looks pretty tasty, though. Roarshack: I think you're my spirit animal. Puma: Do the rest of you think I'm his spirit animal? Marie: I'm pretty sure you're his spirit animal. Puma: Okay, I'm his spirit animal, but the bird still looks pretty tasty. So you want directions to the next one? PC's: Oh, god, yes. Puma: Go see Dirty Owl. You'll travel about a mile down, underneath Grinning Rock, and there, you'll find Dirty Owl. Oh, here's a dream catcher. (Gives it to Roarshack) Don't lose this. (The heroes look at each other with trepidation) Upon finding Dirty Owl, a filthy desert owl scratching itself on a rock... Dirty Owl: Greetings. (Cough, hack, wheeze. Spit) I assume you're here on some sort of journey? (He coughs up some mucus at this point and scratches some more) Marie: Oui, I mean yes. We are here on a spirit quest. Dirty Owl: Spirit Quest? If only I had someone to scratch this itch I can't reach. Marie: I'll do it. Skor: No! You'll get fleas! Or infected! Or something! Marie scratches Dirty Owl and comes away with a heap of dandruff. Marie: This is disgusting! Roarshack: So tell us about yourself! Jen: It might be a good idea, we have to figure out whose spirit animal you are. Roarshack: There's this dirty dwarf named Halthorr we know! You are clearly his spirit animal! (Players laugh. Halthorr is in another group entirely, and Roarshack just threw him under the bus!) Dirty Owl: I am wise, but covered in dirt. The stains of my past follow me wherever I go. The heroes look at each other with concern. There are many checkered pasts in the group. Marie: Well, I guess I could be Dirty Owl (Looks around nervously) The other heroes look at each other nervously. No one wants to admit to having Dirty Owl as their spirit animal. Roarshack looks at Sir Justin, the cyberknight. "I don't think it's you. So...Marie...Dirty Owl?" Marie sighs. "All right, I admit it. Dirty Owl is my spirit animal!" Dirty Owl: Excellent, to get to High Prairie Dog, you need to get to the top of this giant rock next to me. (While dealing with the Prairie Dog, Dirty Owl clambers up over the edge of the rock, filthier than ever. He gives Marie his totem identifier by handing her a leather bag and spitting some greasy mucus into it.) Marie: UGH! Skor: Better you than me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 7, 2011 Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "If you're min-maxing in Gamma World, you have issues." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted February 7, 2011 Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Our cast of characters (4th edition DnD, Eberon) Von Scorpus, human artificer Thorfin, Dwarf Paladin Sora, Dragonborn Fighter (and my 12 year old son) Varus, Elf Rogue XB-90 aka X-box, Warforged Swordmage Zacarias, Eladrin Wizard Von Scorpus: We've set up a classic five man band again. XB-90: The artificer cannot count. Von: You can have extra members as long as the classic five are met. Thorfin: Ok, who's what. Von: I'm the hero... general laughter Von: X-box is the lancer, Thorfin's the strong one, Varus is the smart one... Varus: Which makes Zac the chick. Zac: Hey! (complains, interupted) Sora: What about me? Thorfin: Tagalong kid. Varus: Pet. X-box: 6th Ranger. GM: Mentor. He makes more sense than the rest of you. GM Complaint: Will you stop killing all the monsters on the first round before thier initiative? Sora shows good tactics... GM: Sora, you're facing 4 goblins. Sora: Ok, I use my standard action to wack this one with my sword. I hit for 10 damage! GM: Ok, he's dead. Sora: I use my move action to shift one square to here. GM: Oookaay... Sora: And I use my minor action to breathe fire on these three. Thorfin: Roast Goblin, my favorite! GM: Sob! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egyptoid Posted February 11, 2011 Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Death-Watch Space Marines we're on a mission to accompany an Inquisitor, with two goals: A) to protect him & his henchmen, and bring back at least two prisoners back alive for interrogation. Later, We are attacked by hordes of hybrids led by a magos (Old Genestealer Cult) most of the squad goes left, and assaults down a hall as a group: big messy fight. my devastator marine goes right, and covers the other hallway with Metal-Storm bolter fire (area effect ammo) on the last roll of the damage, the dice went open-ended three times. the templates scored 122 points of damage each (~12 points can kill a man) and then the GM asked me to roll another dice (got 5 degrees of success) roll again he says. (another great success) My weapon hed laid down five AoE templates, and then the GM lays down 6 more. turns out Some troopers in the enemy horde were carrying satchel charges, and in the tearing of the Metal Storm, the dead man switches went off prematurely. All told, 65 people died in one round, 55 on the right side, and the right hallway collapsed, cutting off the right side advance completely. at this point, the Inquisitor bleeps me on my communicator: reminding me "Remember, Brother, we do need prisoners." New Hero 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Mackinder Posted February 11, 2011 Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Heh. Nice one, Egyptoid. Rep ya if I could. In our 'Rogue Trader' campaign, there is an NPC Inquisitor who is kind of a permanent passenger on our ship. Doesn't go out much - his main function seems to be to mess with the Rogue Trader's head, usually in the nicest possible ways. RT Player is a Good guy, but with very strong views about how ####ed up the WH40K Church is. So, his Character has .... somewhat .... radical leanings. Which, since he has an Inquisitor (and associates thereof) residing onboard, he has to moderate somewhat. Then there is the small (5 women) Sisters of Battle contingent on board as well (headed by my Character). When riding in a vehicle or otherwise unoccupied, we often have sing-alongs. Unfortunately, our music tends to bother some of the other PCs. Can't imagine why. Rousing tune (and just what is wrong with 'Flight Of The Valkyries'?) with nice simple lyrics (and what could be more uplifting than "Kill The Mutant. Kill The Mutant. Kill The Mutant. Kill The Mutant. Kill The Mutant. Kill The Mutant.. etc."). But people like the Navigator have a problem with Inspirational Hymns. Dunno why. New Hero 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balabanto Posted February 11, 2011 Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Nothing is wrong with Flight of the Valkyries... Flying the night skies, Flashing our white thighs, Picking up dead guys, This is our job... Yes, this is our job.... New Hero 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragitsu Posted February 13, 2011 Report Share Posted February 13, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... NPC Technician and Player Character get in an argument over whether or not a kind of portable power generator can be created. NPC Technician: "No. No way. That's flat out impossible" *NPC leaves* Other Player Character: "You can still do it though, right?" Player Character : "Of course. Difficult takes a few seconds" *beat* Player Character: "Impossible...a few minutes" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted February 13, 2011 Report Share Posted February 13, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Here we go again with 4th edition DnD... Varus, elven rogue XB90 aka X-Box, warforged swordmage Thorfin, dwarven paladin Sora, dragonborn fighter (my 12 year old son) Von Scorpius, human artificer Job description? Varus: I need to kill this guy. XBox: And take his stuff. Thorfin: Add in tomb robbing, and it's our career. Varus: They're dropping like flies. Thorfin: CLG*. Thorfin: I charge! Varus: Visa or Mastercard? Thorfin: Greataxe. XBox: Don't leave home without it. A little lesson in pronunciation Sora: I use Rapeing Strike! GM: What? Thorfin, reading over his shoulder: Reaping Strike. Reap, not rape. Our new motto! Sora: You have to make him die. Dead enemies are happy enemies. Travel plans Varus: We have to go to Marrel. Thorfin: We cannot go to Marrel today. We have to wait until tomorrow to go to Marrel. Varus: Why? Thorfin: You cannot go to Marrel anymore today, for the train that goes to Marrel is a mile upon it's way. We should have gone to Marrel yesterday no don't you see, we good have gone to Marrel and returned today at three...** Sora: Stop that! Rogue logic Varus: They have wings, they can burn. *CLG=Combat Loss Grouping, a term from Battletech refering to the tendency of battlemechs fighting in groups tending to run out of armor all at the same time. **"To Morrow" is a folk tune describing the efforts of a man to travel to the town of Morrow, Ohio. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnOSpencer Posted February 13, 2011 Report Share Posted February 13, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Here we go again with 4th edition DnD... A little lesson in pronunciation Sora: I use Rapeing Strike! GM: What? Thorfin, reading over his shoulder: Reaping Strike. Reap, not rape. Our new motto! Sora: You have to make him die. Dead enemies are happy enemies. Reminds me of my group. The Ardent has a power called Battleborn Acuity. Somehow it always ends up being Battleborn Atrocity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted February 13, 2011 Report Share Posted February 13, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Reminds me of my group. The Ardent has a power called Battleborn Acuity. Somehow it always ends up being Battleborn Atrocity. My old D&D 3.5 group had a wizard who never had any luck in getting the spell Phantasmal Killer to work. So much so, it was unofficially renamed "Phandismal Failure." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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