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Darren Watts

Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

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Re: Quotes from Owlcon - part 3

 

The Last Laugh: In order to get revenge, the Jesters have decided to kill Governor Brackhaven in the funniest way possible. They plan to abduct the fattest woman they can find, cryogenically freeze her, then drop her from a great height onto Governor Brackhaven while he's giving a public speech.

 

Glitch: (finishing reading the plan) "Too bad we're gittin' paid to rescue th' woman. If not, I'd let this happen. Cuz tha's th' funniest thin' I ever heard."

 

Damn it! I can't rep you, yet!

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

{Hasty dinner after a narrow escape.}

 

Waldo: "That's pretty tasty, Otis. What is it?"

 

Otis: "I don't rightly know what t' call it. I ain't made nothin' like that since that time we had to dispose of a body outside of Portales."

 

 

"Mystery Meat" is always a good choice (:winkgrin:)...

 

 

Major Tom 2009 :sneaky:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Dark Heresy

GM
: Anyone want to recap?

Guildenstern
: Giant Space Fish! Anus of Fire! Flying into space! On an pillar of fire! Mantas! Flying off in another fish! Explosions! Fire! Shooting! Fire! Explosions! Bang! Boom! Fire! Stronger, Faster, Better than before!

The Tau didn't take to long to arrest everybody involved in the terrorist bombing of the Freebooterz ship. The Earth Caste sept that provided the explosives had their pact knife ritually broken. The Air Caste pilot that provided transport was banned from flying. Most of the Imperial Guard POWs were sent back for another 6 months of re-education before we were finally turned out on the Eldar Exodite world recently annexed by the Tau, and then there's Brother Guildenstern...

Me
: So, what did the Tau decide in the case of Guildenstern vs. The Universe?

An extra six months in observation whilst they decided whether he was curable or should be painlessly euthanized. Eventually they released him into The Care of the Community. Oh, and they had to cut off his hands. They felt that the helpful advice Polonius had written on them ( 1 - Kill All Xenos, 2 - Kill them again to be sure ) was a bad influence, but every time they washed them off Guildenstern just carved them back on with his fingernails. Eventually the wounds got infected. But he's quite proud of the new prosthetics and we've promised to engrave the rules back onto them and find somewhere where we get some retractable disembowelling spikes.

 

For people coming from a sub-zero, lifeless homeworld, Myen-Fio is a horrible shock - sweltering climate, and severe storms, even in the temperate zone where the various human and other annexed races cluster around the base of the orbital tower.

Polonius
: At least they let us build our homes with the proper aesthetics. But the Tau made us put cork tips on all the spikes.

 

Polonius
: The Tau were a bit upset when we blew up that ship.

Guildenstern
: Oh? Then they'll be really upset when I blow up that orbital tower.

 

Rosenkrantz
: Guildenstern only murders traitors & Xenos, that's not
completely
sociopathic

Taking Guildenstern to meet the local religious leader, Archbishop of the Order of the Black Monoliths. The cathedral is suitably Gothic.

GM
: You enter the big black wedding-cake.

Rosenkrantz
: Does a stripper jump out of the top?

GM
: Only on Fridays.

We are ushered into the presence of the Archbishops, where he sits flanked by two cybernetic Dobermans. Unfortunately our GM makes the fatal error of giving him an accent halfway between South Preacher and Richard Pryor on Crack. Naturally, we are reduced to hysterical mockery for the rest of the night.

Rosenkrantz's player as Archbishop
: Ho ya'll doin'? Yo wanna go worship the Emprah wit' me?!? This one Bill, this be Ben!

Polonius
: Praaaaaaaaiiiiiise be!

And speculation about the televangelism PBN programming arranged by the Water Caste.

 

Making a pertinent observation about Guildenstern.

Polonius
: He's got a shaved head that turns purple when he gets over-excited, and a scar that runs all the way around.

 

Rosenkrantz OOC
: Land Raider taxis? That would be AWESOME - a taxi driver you would NOT want to piss off.

The money system used by the various non-Tau on Myen-Fio.

Rosenkrantz
: Tokes?

GM
: Tokens

Rosenkrantz
: Ohhhhh, I thought you meant -

Polonius
: - they settled all their deals with marijuana?

I forget the context...

GM
: Why shove a gerbil up your arse when Tyranids are available?

 

GM
: The archbishop is on the Vox.

Polonius
: Wasssssuuuuuup.

 

GM
: The Archbishop continues with his rituals & flagellation

Polonius OOC
: The spanking, the oral sex...

By the end of a session - Have decided to get every Kringleman POWs and civilian on the planet together and move to the south pole. Discovered an Inquisitorial presence on the world because we've been recruited by same. As predicted, an Ork ecosystem has spored on the moon and the native Eldar ( Elves?!?!? HISSSSS) turned up on a tyrannosaur to deliver an ultimatum to clear them off or else.

 

 

This is probably pure, sheer evilness on my part -- but I think it'd be positively

hilarious if Vitus were to be turned loose upon the WH40K universe. After all,

from past posts, it sounds like he's given most of the Multiverse grief at one

point or another; why should the stick-up-their-*** Imperials miss out on the

"fun" of a visit from everyone's favorite (and I apply that term to Vitus loosely --

very loosely) sarcastic, misanthropic gnoll? It wouldn't be long before Inquisitors

throughout the Imperium'd be not only buying antacid in bulk, they'd be chugga-

lugging it down whole bottles at a time ("Vandire's Oath, not him again! Where's

that bottle?! [GlugGlugGlugGlug]).

 

 

Major Tom 2009 :eg:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Nothing is wrong with Flight of the Valkyries...

 

Flying the night skies,

Flashing our white thighs,

Picking up dead guys,

This is our job...

 

Yes, this is our job....

 

 

Is it just me, or does this little ditty of Balabanto's make the Valkyries

out to be a roving pack of necrophiliacs?

 

 

Major Tom 2009 :confused:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Heh. Nice one, Egyptoid. Rep ya if I could.

 

In our 'Rogue Trader' campaign, there is an NPC Inquisitor who is kind of a permanent passenger on our ship. Doesn't go out much - his main function seems to be to mess with the Rogue Trader's head, usually in the nicest possible ways. RT Player is a Good guy, but with very strong views about how ####ed up the WH40K Church is. So, his Character has .... somewhat .... radical leanings. Which, since he has an Inquisitor (and associates thereof) residing onboard, he has to moderate somewhat.

 

Then there is the small (5 women) Sisters of Battle contingent on board as well (headed by my Character). When riding in a vehicle or otherwise unoccupied, we often have sing-alongs.

 

Unfortunately, our music tends to bother some of the other PCs. Can't imagine why. Rousing tune (and just what is wrong with 'Flight Of The Valkyries'?) with nice simple lyrics (and what could be more uplifting than "Kill The Mutant. Kill The Mutant. Kill The Mutant. Kill The Mutant. Kill The Mutant. Kill The Mutant.. etc."). But people like the Navigator have a problem with Inspirational Hymns. Dunno why. ;)

 

 

It could be worse... just think of how truly horrible the sing-alongs could be if

one of the Sisters of Battle had a singing voice like Elmer Fudd (:shock:).

 

 

Major Tom 2009 :D

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Death-Watch Space Marines

 

we're on a mission to accompany an Inquisitor, with two goals:

 

  • A) to protect him & his henchmen, and
  • B) bring back at least two prisoners back alive for interrogation.

Later, We are attacked by hordes of hybrids led by a magos (Old Genestealer Cult)

 

most of the squad goes left, and assaults down a hall as a group: big messy fight.

 

my devastator marine goes right, and covers the other hallway with Metal-Storm

bolter fire (area effect ammo) on the last roll of the damage, the dice went open-ended three times.

the templates scored 122 points of damage each (~12 points can kill a man)

and then the GM asked me to roll another dice (got 5 degrees of success)

roll again he says. (another great success)

My weapon hed laid down five AoE templates, and then the GM lays down 6 more.

 

turns out Some troopers in the enemy horde were carrying satchel charges,

and in the tearing of the Metal Storm, the dead man switches went off prematurely.

 

All told, 65 people died in one round, 55 on the right side,

and the right hallway collapsed, cutting off the right side advance completely.

 

at this point, the Inquisitor bleeps me on my communicator:

reminding me "Remember, Brother, we do need prisoners."

 

 

Oh, yeah... the penance that that Marine's gonna wind up doing is definitely

going to be a major b****.

 

 

Major Tom 2009 :sneaky:

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Re: Quotes from Owlcon - part 3

 

>> other knaves can't deny.

 

I think if you got some more good shakespearian lyrics and choreography,

and got your local SCA barony to cooperate,

you could make a great you-tube video.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

DEATH WATCH 4OK SPACE MARINES

adventures of Squad Ventura

this week, a Rescue Mission:

find a Tech-Magos from Downed Shuttle, Deep in Tyranid Country.

Pre-mission briefing:

Marine: sir, we're fighting Nids this mission, what are we forgetting?

Captain: FIRE, dumb*ss!! where's your Flamethrower?!

squad got bum-rushed by Nids, while the devastator had "metal storm" loaded in the bolter :

new rule: don't use AoE ammo in H-t-H.

Techmarine picks up an alien with his heavy claw...

Psyker: Did you spay or neuter that Tyranid?

new addition to the Marine survival handbook:

if you are currently on fire, grab a tyranid that is not.

one way to garner glory for the unit is to take trophies:

we cut off the Tyranid Lictor's nuts, bronzed them,

and hung them on the back of the Land Raider

(yes, like those silly Nascar novelties)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I like buxom wenches, and I darest not lie

Thou other varlots darest not deny

That when a maiden doth pass yon

with a low-cut bodice on

 

You doth hold your manhood high ....

 

on St. Crispen's Day, or something like that.

 

Oh my cod...

 

>> other knaves can't deny.

 

I think if you got some more good shakespearian lyrics and choreography,

and got your local SCA barony to cooperate,

you could make a great you-tube video.

 

I agree

 

Lucius Alexander

 

I like palindromedaries, but not in THAT way

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

This is probably pure, sheer evilness on my part -- but I think it'd be positively

hilarious if Vitus were to be turned loose upon the WH40K universe. After all,

from past posts, it sounds like he's given most of the Multiverse grief at one

point or another; why should the stick-up-their-*** Imperials miss out on the

"fun" of a visit from everyone's favorite (and I apply that term to Vitus loosely --

very loosely) sarcastic, misanthropic gnoll? It wouldn't be long before Inquisitors

throughout the Imperium'd be not only buying antacid in bulk, they'd be chugga-

lugging it down whole bottles at a time ("Vandire's Oath, not him again! Where's

that bottle?! [GlugGlugGlugGlug]).

 

I fear that Vitus simply wouldn't last long in the 40K universe. Too many psykers and ridiculously heavy firepower around. That said, the Tau Empire would probably be more survivable for him, and xenos-friendly too, so i won't say it's impossible.

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Re: Quotes from Owlcon - part 3

 

Balabanto' date=' Enforcer84, and lapsedgamer: you boys do realize that you're just [i']asking[/i]

to be tac-nuked by Sir Mix-A-Lot, don't you?

 

 

Major Tom 2009 :tsk:

 

Well, he had to have a sense of humor to do the song in the first place. You used to see him around town all the time. I think he still lives out by Auburn or something. He might get a kick out of it if someone with more talent and resources than me took a stab at it.

 

BTW. That Gilbert and Sullivan thing was wrong, in a good way.

 

Though shouldn't it be somthing like:

 

I am the very model of a modern Major-General,

I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,

I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical

But the female derrier makes me most philosophical.

While others spend their time on matters quotidian,

I am more excited by fiqures callipygian

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

First session of the Barakkusia campaign in months - off to find evidence to incriminate the Sheriff's cousin the Bailiff in a plot against the Imperial Troops. First, by arresting a bunch of bandits implicated in the same plot. This involves a canoe trip upriver, something Rumbaba discovers he doesn't enjoy much.

 

Rumbaba
:
*Eyeing the thin sides of the canoe, and how low they're floating*
You know, this reminds me of cheap beer - f***ing close to water.

 

GM
: The trip is uneventful, although you do see a
bard at one point. "Why are there so many, songs about rainbows, and what's on the other siiiide..."

 

One suggestion is that Adrie the elven druid convert to her dire-wolf form, and Rumbaba ride ahead in the guise of a goblin raider.

 

Rumbaba
: Note how carefully I bite off the obvious comment about riding the elf, doggy style.

 

Finding the camp and scouting ahead, Rumbaba opens the corral and stampedes the horses. This, of course, brings all the bandits out so he can get a good idea of their numbers. One of them is clearly a wizard, not wearing a helmet, and Rumbaba can't resist the opportunity to bounce a sling bullet off the back of his skull. Alas, not enough to kill him, although the darkness and confusion still serves immensely to our advantage when the rest of the group swoops in and scatters the bad guys in pretty much total panic. The entire group of rabble, and horses, flee pursued by the druid in Ursine form.

 

Rumbaba
: Exit, pursued by a bear.

 

Even the wizard panics, when his entire undead horde are killed in a matter of seconds, and flees without even lingering long enough to grab his stuff. They don't get far, the wizard falling victim to the dragonborn's lightning despite his desperate use of a thunderclap spell.

 

GM
: Zombies are notorious for their poor reflexes, and dancing skills.

 

GM
: You'll have to remember that. In the lists of applied arcana, lightning always trumps thunder.

 

Human halbardier
: Next time, when you're scouting ahead,
just scout
.

Rumbaba
: But the necromancer was right there! Without a helmet! Facing the other way!

Human halbardier
: Well, that's true - sometimes you just have to take the shot.

 

Unfortunately the traitors we were specifically after aren't there.

 

Rumbaba
: Pity we don't find a letter saying "It Was Me Wot Dun It - Signed, the Bailiff"

 

Rumbaba does acquire a few bandoleers of throwing daggers, at least.

 

Rumbaba
: When I inhale sharply I look like a porcupine fish. BWOMPH.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Dark Heresy - In which we discover not only are there Space Marines and Sisters of Battle attempting to pass themselves off incognito on Myen-Fio, but there's a second Kruiser full of Orc Mercenaries and imperial tanks and artillery somewhere out on the fringes of the system. And further entangle ourselves in the byzantine politics of the setting.

 

Rosenkrantz's player
: I just want to play somebody who's sane

Me
: Are you sure you're in the right universe?

 

Rosenkrantz
: ... The demon lord formerly known as prince...

 

Investigating the fungal infestation currently spreading over thousands of square kilometres of the the moon. The Kruiser, still buried nose first in the regolith, takes enthusiastic potshots at us if we get tooo close, so we drive the Archbishop's Popemobile ( i.e. consecrated tank ) over to the wreckage of the Rokk instead. Where somebody knocks on the door. It's a Gretchin, who is quite surprised to see us here, since "All da bosses are ovver at da Kruiser mobbing up an' kannaballizin' da Rokk for bitz". And yes, he's aware that assorted Squigs are overrunning the moon. They managed to find water under the crust, and the radiation from the nuclear pile in the Rokk helps too. Indeed, he offers to sells us uranium, water, and squig meat.

 

Gretchin Shaman
: "Well, course we knows 'bout the raddyashun, you finks we stupid gitz or summint? The raddyashun's why we gotz such good genetic polymorphism and biodiversity in our squigs innit? We ain't fick. Wanna buy some control rods?"

 

We're ordered to return and report. This disappoints Guildenstern and the women driving the tank, since all three were hoping to drive the tank through the Rokk's airlock and rampage down to the reactor, shooting everything in sight and blowing ourselves and the goblinoids sky-high in a ball of nuclear fire.

 

Polonius
: Don't worry, Sisters, I'm sure we'll get another chance to martyr ourselves soon enough.

 

The drivers deny that they're Sisters of Battle, despite the obvious. Rosenkrantz makes a few comments that don't go down well

 

Guildenstern
: *
looking hopeful*
You mean they're not nuns?

GM
: Forget it, you're not getting any.

GM
: They glare at [Rosenkrantz] suspiciously

Polonius
: You're not getting any either

r

 

Our GM continues to mispronounce Ministorium

 

GM
: The Ministronium

Polonius
: Those Who Serve Soup

 

Decontaminating the tank afterwards, we find a gretchin with a spanner in the engine block. Standing around him and glaring until he faints, we cart him off for interrogation.

 

Polonius
: For every question you answer truthfully, you get to keep a body part.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Late July, 1924 – In which the Mansion of Madness casts long shadows over the sanity of our investigators, not least of which is McGinty inviting an Eldritch Abomination to move into his house.

 

Some asides :

McGinty
: Of course Julius likes tools. That’s why he hangs out with us.

 

Julius’s Player
: The mosquitoes! They’re huge! I swear that one had Boeing stencilled on the side.

Rondale’s Player
: Just look out for the one stencilled “Airbus”

 

Scattering in various directions after fleeing the mansion, carrying armfuls of mouldering books as they do so, McGinty and Rondale return to Arkham, bearing the unconscious Dr McPool with them. There, for reasons best known to himself, Rondale deposits the woman in one of the guest rooms, and locks her in. Naturally, upon waking in a strange house, after the events at the mansion, and hearing a horrible non-stop screaming from the walls, her first reaction is to try and escape out the window, failing utterly, and is found in the backyard with two broken ankles.

 

Understandably questioning Alicia’s sanity, McGinty bandages her up and moves her back into the ground floor of the house. Her apprehensions are hardly soothed by lengthy speculation about hidden doors, and heavily armed monkeys.

 

McGinty
: *
humouring the lunatic
* Were you trying to fly?

Alicia
: *
glares
* Not I was not trying to fly

McGinty
: Were you trying to land?

 

GM
: I’m picturing you opening the back of the truck and a horde of chimps with aviator’s helmets pouring out waving trench guns and revolvers.

McGinty
: McGinty’s Monkey Army! I’ll teach them not to make me Governor! We’ll take the zoo first. Go, my pretties! Free your brothers, and arm them!

 

McGinty
: Now, no more jumping out windows – doors are what you come in and out of.

 

The screaming only she can hear doesn’t stop. Rondale diagnoses tinnitus, caused by the storm of gunfire and explosions that ensued at the mansion. He’s completely wrong, but never mind.

 

Julius
: It’s actually a tiny, tiny woman stuck in her inner ear hairs

GM
: So where is the microscopic sub with the laser?

 

Come the dawn, McGinty and Rondale go about a normal day. This starts with dusting the entire house with corrosive sublimate bedbug powder, de-lousing the wolfhound, and checking the mosquito screens. McGinty has recalled the curse the hyena-werewolf thing laid on him a few years back, in the event he ever interfered with its plans. Breaking his leg with a voodoo doll probably counts. This is followed up with a few rounds of boxing practise with the teenaged burglar that McGinty hired to work at Rondale & McGinty’s Electrical & Automotive Repair. The lad is understandably apprehensive of entering the ring against McGinty.

 

McGinty
: Don’t worry lad, you won’t last five minutes.

 

A significant amount of McGinty’s income comes from equipping and repairing the many vehicles bootleggers use for smuggling booze. One result of this is an increasingly large pile of car tires piling up alongside the building. His proposed solution is to buy the Arhkam Rubbish Tip.

 

GM
: Ok, why?

McGinty
: It’ll be a moneymaker. Privatise! Plus I’ll install an incinerator. That’ll get rid of the car tires. And other things.

GM
: *
facepalm
* I should have seen that coming.

Rondale
: Yes, yes you should have

GM
: How many ways do you have to dispose of inconvenient corpses now?

McGinty
: There’s that plot down at the cemetery; the tip; the vegetable garden...

Julius
: And the advantage with the incinerator is if you throw in a few car tires no-one will notice the smell of roasting meat.

GM
: And if you’re really desperate there’s that stone arch you have in the basement.

McGinty
: Yeah! Although you have to be quick with that one. So you can shove the corpse through and close it again before the monsters come out.

Rondale
: I can picture the scene – me holding the corpse, you ready to open the Gate – ‘Ok, on the count of three.. no, ON three... one.... two... THREE!’

GM
: I’m more interested in how many things are gathering on the far side to take advantage of this regular supply of fresh meat.

 

McGinty furthers his political aspirations by meeting with various movers and shakers in Boston and Arkham. After one such meeting, he comes out to find a figure sitting in his Packard. Drawing a gun, McGinty sneaks up and demands an explanation, only to discover that he’s talking to a six-foot-tall white rabbit with waistcoat and fob-watch. Apparently its name is Harvey. McGinty thinks this is amusing enough to play along and the two drive up to Arkham enjoying a long chat about friendship, reciprocity, and the dark crystal McGinty took from the smoking corpse of Josephine Garsetti, after being hired to recover it by the late unlamented Ezekiel Crater. McGinty even offers to let the bunny stay at his house, thereby allowing an eldritch abomination access to this reality.

 

Rondale and Dr McPool don’t find the situation amusing, and they don’t even know about the abomination that’s installed itself in one of the upstairs bedrooms yet. They’re just alarmed that McGinty is talking to a six-foot-tall bunny that no-one else can see.

 

Rondale
: Oh God, the alcohol has finally done for him, he’s got the D.T.s

McGinty
: What are you talking about, he’s sitting right there!

Rondale
: McGinty, there’s
nothing there

McGinty
: You’re a fooking looney

Rondale
: Of course,
we’re
completely insane because
we
can’t see a six-foot-tall white rabbit named Harvey Wallbanger

 

Over the next few days Rondale despairs for McGinty’s sanity and ops to sleep across the road at the shop ( lucky for him ) and McGinty spends time at the classier local speakeasy to continue his politicking and talk the council into selling him the tip. Dr McPool cuts a rug on the dancefloor, despite being confined to a wheelchair.

 

McGinty
: And this is Alicia McPool. As you can see I broke both her legs to stop her getting away.

 

Alicia and the rest are also concerned that McGinty flatly refuses to let anybody else even touch the crystal he acquired. According to one of the books they acquired, and Harvey, the crystal is the key to great power, and is the source of the sudden rush of power and charisma McGinty has been enjoying since he stole it.

 

GM
: Yes, you certainly do seem to be very popular these days – you even have women wanting to fondle your stones.

McGinty
: They’re always after me lucky charms.

 

McGinty, searching the house for Rondale, discovers the Thing that now occupies one of the bedrooms, and is understandably upset. Harvey placates him by pointing out that he and it are essential the same, that McGinty did invite him to stay, and that he only wants to be McGinty’s friend and teach him how best to use the powers of the Dark Stone. All he has to do is bathe it in the blood of the next person he kills, just like Garsetti and Crater used to do. McGinty in turn insists that his extradimensional houseguest move to the greenhouse, which it is compliant enough to do. It’s not like the outbuilding wasn’t already a deathtrap, anyway. Rondale comes around the corner of the house to witness half of the conversation McGinty has with the bunny only he can see or hear.

 

Rondale
: So the greenhouse will have an eldritch abomination in it?

McGinty
: Sounds like a plan!

Rondale
: Where’s the rock, McGinty

McGinty
: Er... in the safe in the greenhouse.

 

Rondale, now certain that this is not going to end well, elects to get Alicia the hell out of town, and try to get The Amazing Julius up here as quickly as possible. There were a few rituals in an ancient scrapbook they’d ‘acquired’ earlier that might be very useful here. At the very least it’ll take two people to hold McGinty down as they strap him into a straightjacket.

Rondale stops by Amy and Lucy’s flat in Boston en route to Alicia’s home.

 

Rondale
: Hi Lucy... McGinty’s not here! Put down the bottle!

 

Meanwhile, McGinty goes about business as normal, despite regular advice from a spectral bunny. This business includes a visit from an obvious G-Man, nosing about after bootleggers, and clearly incredulous about the modifications to McGinty’s fearsome battletruck.

 

Undercover Prohibition Agent
: What’s with the cow-catcher? And the whitewalled tires? And the hatch in the roof of the cabin?

McGinty
: You ever been caught in a blizzard? The white-wall tires keep the snow off better. And the cow-catcher pushes the drifts out of the way. And if you DO end up in a snow-drift you can climb out the hatch and get out that way.

GM
: .... you jammy git.

 

Guiliano manages to find a gap in his busy tour of the Tri-State area to drive overnight up to Arkham, bringing along one of his pre-prepared devices and his notes for the Seal of Solomon, apparently an extremely powerful version of the Elder Sign that will permanently bind an entity into a now indestructible item, as long as the entity is actually present, and only at massive cost to your soul, even assuming the spell works. The smaller box he’s bringing isn’t the only one he’s prepared in advance.

 

Julius
: There’s that coffin in the basement! You know, the one with the plaque that says ‘Reserved for previous occupant’

 

McGinty attempts to justify his intention to bathe the stone in the lifeblood of his next victim.

 

McGinty
: It’s hungry. It’s a fooking big rabbit. I tried carrots but it wants blood.

 

They do manage to persuade him to fetch the stone from the greenhouse, despite Harvey’s insistence that McGinty can’t trust them near it. With good reason, since despite McGinty’s armed refusal to hand it over, Guiliano had a hypnotic compulsion prepared to make sure that he did.

 

Guiliano attempts to flee, as Rondale attempts to hold down the now enraged McGinty, and both fail. Ignoring the intervening glass, the mad Irish bastard launches himself through the car window and pummels the Italian magician unconscious, but soon succumbs to a dastardly attack from behind by Rondale. Who then shoves Guiliano into the passenger seat and takes the wheel, fleeing town ahead of certain vengeance.

 

The Amazing Julius OOC
: I can just picture a policeman coming down the street now – McGinty, stinking of booze, clutching his groin and rocking and hissing over and over “Don’t listen to the rabbit, don’t listen to the rabbit”

McGinty
: Ooooh, me lucky charms!

 

Alas for Rondale and Guiliano, McGinty soon succumbs to the influence of the Thing ( for one thing the theft of the stone has left him spiritually gutted ), and guided by the voice in his head boards the battletruck and roars off in pursuit. Rondale is naturally horrified to see the view in the rear view mirror of the cow-catcher, and McGinty’s fury-twisted face peering over the top, bearing down on their vehicle at speed. Shaking the Italian awake and screaming at him to start the binding spell, Rondale attempts to stay ahead of the truck and fails, and is driving off the road, narrowly missing trees and rocks, and frantically arms himself as McGinty brings the truck around and lines up to ram them dead.

 

The first round of gunfire does nothing – McGinty armoured the truck for a reason – but the second takes out a wheel and leaves McGinty’s truck stuck in a ditch. That doesn’t stop McGinty, who is climbing out the hatch in the roof and heading into the back of the truck to fetch his machine gun, as Rondale desperately steels himself to murder a friend, and Guiliano completes the ritual and prays he has enough psychic ability to contest the will of an Abomination and survive the experience. Also, that the entity actually exists, and isn't just a product of McGinty's deranged imagination.

 

Happily for most of those concerned, he does. Although all three are utterly shaken by the experience, Guiliano needs to be hospitalised, and Rondale has to admit that an angry McGinty is the most terrifying enemy they’ve yet had to face.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Regrettably nothing from Rogue-Trader-40K this week.

 

I had some good banter with the ship's (illegal) A.I., but it would be boring here.

 

it seems all the other players were there to just rules-lawyer.

 

GM vividly describes a huge space battle, with an echelon of ships assaulting us.

Player: You moved the shuttles at the wrong time. Initiative doesn't work like that.

 

sigh.

 

plus this other player got a "dice-rolling-app" for his I-Pod, and strangely enough,

did not fail a single skill check all night. Hmm...

 

 

very bad week.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Okay, time to finally get caught up with the quotes from our new campiagn.

 

First, our cast:

Dayla - Healer/Smiter of Evil

Gilred - Assassin/Shadow Mage

Griffin - Taxidermist/Generalist Mage

Lythnader - Knife-Thrower/Rune Mage

Osric - Hunter/Warrior

 

****

From 2 weeks ago

****

 

Griffin [ooc]: We're the taxiderminators!

Gilred [ooc in bad Arnie voice]: Come with me if you want pest control.

 

****

 

Griffin: Who knew giants lived underground. They're like dwarves!

Gilred: Really, really tall dwarves.

 

****

 

GM: None of you have architecture.

Griffin: You can't kill architecture.

 

****

 

Griffin: How do you know they're evil?

Lythander: They're not ours.

 

****

 

[the team is in a combat with an imp and 2 zombies]

 

GM: The imp recovers from being stunned.

 

Gilred [currently stunned and OOC]: That sounds like such a good idea, I think I'll do it too.

 

****

 

Griffin: This world hurts my brain.

GM: Good. Then I,m doing my job well.

 

****

From last Saturday

****

 

Dayla: As long as it doesn't kill me, i don't mind.

 

****

 

Lythander: If it takes another 5-10 years and 10,000 dead, so be it.

 

****

 

[Having just learned that there's a master vampire on the loose in the kingdom, the group contemplates how to go about finding it.]

 

Griffen [ooc to the GM]: You had to make [the kingdom] the size of a state.

 

Gilred [ooc]: And you couldn't have picked Rode Island!

 

****

 

Gilred [to a courier who has just delivered an envelope to the group]: hang out, we may need to kill the messenger.

 

****

 

Griffin [speaking of the new amulets created by Lythander that allow us to speak telepathically]: The only problem is that you sound like a 7 year old girl.

Gilred: But do we all sound like the same 7 year old girl? Because that could get confusing.

 

****

 

Griffin: Where are the sewers from here?

Dayla: Uhm, down?

 

****

 

Gilred: I buy environmental movement - rat swarm.

 

****

 

Dayla: Hey no fair going after our cannon fodder.

Lythander: Hey, they're doing their job.

Gilred: Yeah, they're being fodder for the cannon.

Lythander: Yes, and we shall honor their cannon fodderyness.

 

****

 

Gilred: Anything that tries to eat my face, I do not feel sorry for.

 

****

 

GM: You can hear Gilred screaming from the shadows like a girl.

 

Gilred [ooc]: I'll have you know that was an ancient girl scout battle cry.

 

****

 

[We've just captured the Rat King, a rat the size of a small barn; which had been growing the city's normal rats to the size of humans... and making them breath fire.]

 

Griffin [to the local beast hunter guild-leader]: And that's just one... One friggen' rat. Rat like that, you could feed a whole garrison for a week.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

McGinty attempts to justify his intention to bathe the stone in the lifeblood of his next victim.

 

McGinty
: It’s hungry. It’s a fooking big rabbit. I tried carrots but it wants blood.

 

Man, I should be getting royalties from this! ;)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

4th edition DnD continues. Von Scorpius died last week, and has been replaced.

 

So...

Thorfin, Dwarven Paladin

Sora, Dragonborn Fighter

Varus, Elven Rogue

Zach, Eladrin Wizard

Asterix, Gnome Hexblade*

 

A Dwarven Mine has had all the miners disappear, and we are hired to investigate. We find the mine is full of giant mushrooms...

Sora: We need a Italian plumber.

 

Our tactics confused the DM

DM: What are you on?

Thorfin: Magic Mushrooms.

 

Sora wonders about the intelligent mushroom men.

Sora: Are they evil?

Varus: We could ask.

Thorfin: Do you expect a honest answer?

Sora: Evil things lie.

 

Asterix casts a spell

Asterix: Sticks and stones may break my bones but Majestic Word will heal me!

 

Thorfin: I bless my weapon.

Varus: Did it sneeze?

 

We find the body of a miner.

Sora: Whad did he die of?

Asterix: "Insufficient Hitpoints".

Varus: The most common cause of NPC death.

Zach: Donate now to our adventuring company so we may work to find a cure...

 

*Just a footnote.

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