feralucce Posted June 23, 2011 Report Share Posted June 23, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Okay... I have read this entire thread... From page one to now... Took me an entire week... But I did it. (collapses triumphantly) My wife is tired of hearing about it, and my roomies want to hang me... Good stuff, but my brain itches now... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Mackinder Posted June 23, 2011 Report Share Posted June 23, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I giuess congratulations are in order. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted June 23, 2011 Report Share Posted June 23, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I giuess congratulations are in order. Or apologies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted June 23, 2011 Report Share Posted June 23, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Or apologies. Or lung replacements. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralucce Posted June 24, 2011 Report Share Posted June 24, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I have been informed by our gaming group that I am now required to make a sanity check... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Querysphinx Posted June 24, 2011 Report Share Posted June 24, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I have been informed by our gaming group that I am now required to make a sanity check... So now you have to decide which was the single best quote of them all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralucce Posted June 24, 2011 Report Share Posted June 24, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... That's evil... I will get back to you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralucce Posted June 24, 2011 Report Share Posted June 24, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Since this one kind if fits a looking running campaign, this is it... I have no idea who said it...lol "How was I supposed to know the AI would turn on us!" "Its an AI! That what they do!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted June 24, 2011 Report Share Posted June 24, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... In Champions Online. Lady Benevolence is drastically displaced in time, and finds herself in Millenium City, where Vitus - gnoll - and Deserich - Illithid - are standing a street corner downtown, talking shop. Lady Benevolence : Monsters! Vitus : *Looks around for these supposed monsters* Deserich : Monsters? Where? Lady Benevolence : *draws sword* Surrender, beasts, or I will cut you down like the abominations you are! Vitus : *sighs* On a day trip from the asylum, are you? Deserich : We're not monsters, we're with the Millenium Sentinels. Lady Benevolence : But.. but... Vitus : Let me explain this to you in language you might understand. You'd think the fact that the other pedestrians aren't fleeing in panic - well, no more so than usual - would be a small clue, wouldn't you? We're not monsters. We're merely not human. I don't go around assuming ALL humans are sex-mad cretins, despite all evidence to the contrary, do I? Lady Benevolence : *seethes* Don't condescend to me, beast! Vitus : Oh, put it away before you hurt yourself, woman. Now, Deserich, what did you need my help with? Deserich : I want to break someone out of prison. Vitus : Fair enough. Last time I broke someone out of prison I was collecting ingredients for a human sacrifice. Of course, then the female component went and got herself deflowered, so it was all a complete waste of time anyway. Lady Benevolence : The Time Traveler : Are books really obsolete by this early date? Vitus : *A regular at the Arcana bookstore* Don't ask me. Although I have noticed you can't beat somebody to death with a Kindle. The Time Traveler : ... I'll bear that in mind. Vitus : *thoughtfully* Although I suppose you could cram one down somebody's throat if you tried hard enough. Tyrth : Where have you been, Vitus? Vitus : Up north making Bigfeet extinct. And getting threatening letters from somebody named Jane Goodall. You? Tyrth : ....It's statements like that that make me wonder why I hired you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralucce Posted June 24, 2011 Report Share Posted June 24, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Somewhere around page 210 I think, someone complained that the quotes were all funny and there should be some awesome quotes in here... So I gathered up my notes from 25 years of gaming (which is all the way back to junior high) and thought I would share some... Each does require a teeny bit of background, but I hope you can forgive that. I will post them one at a time to avoid backstory overload. ************** The PCs were on brain-case ship. Think terminally ill human voulenteering to become a ship AI. Near the end of the campaign, the rest of the PCs cared deeply for her. Due to a series of phenomenally bad decisions, they have ended up at the ass end of the universe with a dreadnaught bearing down on them. The PCs have manned the fighters and launched, only to find that the nav systems are all locked on their home and the overrides destroyed.* Janik: Isis. What the hell are you doin?! Isis: I am overloading the reactors and cramming them down their throats. In short, ending this once and for all. Davies: you can't do this! Isis: if you stay, you all die. Janik: if you do this, you'll take them out, but you'll die, too! Isis: I've already died once. It's not so bad. Go. Live your lives, mine ends the way I want it to, in an act of love and defiance. Never forget that.. I love you all. New Hero 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragitsu Posted June 25, 2011 Report Share Posted June 25, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... “When life gives you lemons' date=' don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”[/quote'] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manic Typist Posted June 25, 2011 Report Share Posted June 25, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Somewhere around page 210 I think, someone complained that the quotes were all funny and there should be some awesome quotes in here... So I gathered up my notes from 25 years of gaming (which is all the way back to junior high) and thought I would share some... Each does require a teeny bit of background, but I hope you can forgive that. I will post them one at a time to avoid backstory overload. ************** The PCs were on brain-case ship. Think terminally ill human voulenteering to become a ship AI. Near the end of the campaign, the rest of the PCs cared deeply for her. Due to a series of phenomenally bad decisions, they have ended up at the ass end of the universe with a dreadnaught bearing down on them. The PCs have manned the fighters and launched, only to find that the nav systems are all locked on their home and the overrides destroyed.* Janik: Isis. What the hell are you doin?! Isis: I am overloading the reactors and cramming them down their throats. In short, ending this once and for all. Davies: you can't do this! Isis: if you stay, you all die. Janik: if you do this, you'll take them out, but you'll die, too! Isis: I've already died once. It's not so bad. Go. Live your lives, mine ends the way I want it to, in an act of love and defiance. Never forget that.. I love you all. That's beautiful, right there. Gotta remember that.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralucce Posted June 25, 2011 Report Share Posted June 25, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... That's beautiful' date=' right there. Gotta remember that....[/quote'] Thank you very much... That's all PCs... I have rarely played...I almost always run... I will let Isis' player know it was appreciated. It was one of those moving moments in a game that you hope to have happen every game session... All of the players had a tear in their eye... Our token emotionally crippled narcissist was openly sobbing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralucce Posted June 25, 2011 Report Share Posted June 25, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Well, that saves money in the R&D department Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted June 26, 2011 Report Share Posted June 26, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... In Champions Online. Lady Benevolence is drastically displaced in time, and finds herself in Millenium City, where Vitus - gnoll - and Deserich - Illithid - are standing a street corner downtown, talking shop. Lady Benevolence : Monsters! Vitus : *Looks around for these supposed monsters* Deserich : Monsters? Where? Lady Benevolence : *draws sword* Surrender, beasts, or I will cut you down like the abominations you are! Vitus : *sighs* On a day trip from the asylum, are you? Deserich : We're not monsters, we're with the Millenium Sentinels. Lady Benevolence : But.. but... Vitus : Let me explain this to you in language you might understand. You'd think the fact that the other pedestrians aren't fleeing in panic - well, no more so than usual - would be a small clue, wouldn't you? We're not monsters. We're merely not human. I don't go around assuming ALL humans are sex-mad cretins, despite all evidence to the contrary, do I? Lady Benevolence : *seethes* Don't condescend to me, beast! Vitus : Oh, put it away before you hurt yourself, woman. Now, Deserich, what did you need my help with? Deserich : I want to break someone out of prison. Vitus : Fair enough. Last time I broke someone out of prison I was collecting ingredients for a human sacrifice. Of course, then the female component went and got herself deflowered, so it was all a complete waste of time anyway. Lady Benevolence : She was right the first time Lucius Alexander The palindromedary cries Monsters! Monsters! but it's basically Tunnels and Trolls Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted June 27, 2011 Report Share Posted June 27, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... In Champions Online. Lady Benevolence is drastically displaced in time, and finds herself in Millenium City, where Vitus - gnoll - and Deserich - Illithid - are standing a street corner downtown, talking shop. Lady Benevolence : Monsters! Vitus : *Looks around for these supposed monsters* Deserich : Monsters? Where? Lady Benevolence : *draws sword* Surrender, beasts, or I will cut you down like the abominations you are! Vitus : *sighs* On a day trip from the asylum, are you? Deserich : We're not monsters, we're with the Millenium Sentinels. Lady Benevolence : But.. but... Vitus : Let me explain this to you in language you might understand. You'd think the fact that the other pedestrians aren't fleeing in panic - well, no more so than usual - would be a small clue, wouldn't you? We're not monsters. We're merely not human. I don't go around assuming ALL humans are sex-mad cretins, despite all evidence to the contrary, do I? Lady Benevolence : *seethes* Don't condescend to me, beast! Vitus : Oh, put it away before you hurt yourself, woman. Now, Deserich, what did you need my help with? Deserich : I want to break someone out of prison. Vitus : Fair enough. Last time I broke someone out of prison I was collecting ingredients for a human sacrifice. Of course, then the female component went and got herself deflowered, so it was all a complete waste of time anyway. Lady Benevolence : The Time Traveler : Are books really obsolete by this early date? Vitus : *A regular at the Arcana bookstore* Don't ask me. Although I have noticed you can't beat somebody to death with a Kindle. The Time Traveler : ... I'll bear that in mind. Vitus : *thoughtfully* Although I suppose you could cram one down somebody's throat if you tried hard enough. Tyrth : Where have you been, Vitus? Vitus : Up north making Bigfeet extinct. And getting threatening letters from somebody named Jane Goodall. You? Tyrth : ....It's statements like that that make me wonder why I hired you. This one definitely gets rep just for being dementedly amusing. Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IndianaJoe3 Posted June 27, 2011 Report Share Posted June 27, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Our heroes (in a PAH setting) have some down time, so they head to the beach. Johnny Longshot (normal human, sniper): "I'm going to learn to surf." Tass (telekenetic mutant): "Sounds like a good idea. Of course, I'll just be using my flight at zero altitude and sticking myself to my surfboard." JL: "That still counts. They also surf who only stand on waves." Lucius 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted June 28, 2011 Report Share Posted June 28, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Our heroes (in a PAH setting) have some down time, so they head to the beach. Johnny Longshot (normal human, sniper): "I'm going to learn to surf." Tass (telekenetic mutant): "Sounds like a good idea. Of course, I'll just be using my flight at zero altitude and sticking myself to my surfboard." JL: "That still counts. They also surf who only stand on waves." I've got to come back and reputize this when I can. Because it ALMOST went right over my head. Lucius Alexander The palindromedary caught it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadowsoul Posted June 28, 2011 Report Share Posted June 28, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Not a quote but this thread seems like the appropriate place to post this. Vitus is not a monster, he's a Saint And he has his own ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragitsu Posted June 28, 2011 Report Share Posted June 28, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Dark Champions...again. "Dude, what the hell? Seinfeld? You can't teach an alien about earth customs with a sitcom" "Why not? My cousin's from Boston...he grew up on the stuff, and they're about as extraterrestrial as you can get" "Not helping" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted June 29, 2011 Report Share Posted June 29, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Not a quote but this thread seems like the appropriate place to post this. Vitus is not a monster, he's a Saint And he has his own ! Yup! Alchemical Prophet to Usamagarus, too, until he and the god disagreed on matters of policy and went their separate ways Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted June 29, 2011 Report Share Posted June 29, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Started a new Rogue Trader campaign yesterday - it was well received, although amusing quotes were few, for the time being. No doubt as they become more experienced with their characters this will improve, unless they all realise the true horror of their situation and throw themselves out the airlock. My victims include - Lord-Captain Leman van Baroque, Holder of the Warrant of Trade and owner of the starship Rose Tattoo. The van Baroque warrant was granted to his grandfather on the condition he conquered the fortress-world Merates Null Five during the Meritech Wars, but the effort nearly bankrupted him, and it's only now that the family has freed up enough assets to go exploring again. His First Officer, the Tech-priest Casu Marzu, who is amazingly well-socialized for a member of the Ordo Mechanicus, and even gets on well with members of the Ecclesiarchy, although he spends entirely too much time plugged into the ship's cogitators. His brain has been so massively augmented that he can't fail most mental tasks, and his body so nearly machine he can ignore minor problems like breathing. By a strange coincidence his name is also that of a particularly obnoxious cheese. Can't think why... Malakai Tubreau, the ship's officer responsible for the Munitorium, and maintaining the morale of the Rose Tattoo's crew of 16,000 press-ganged ratings, conscripted criminals, and borderline mutants. "The beatings will continue until morale improves." Of course, any Rogue Trader worth his salt will dabble with smuggling, privateering, and trading with aliens, if he thinks he can get away with it, so it's just as well that van Baroque has one Jak Frost on board. And Frost *should* be adaptable, since he's Rosenkrantz from the other campaign,who since the Imperium tortured him almost to death for something he didn't do, went to work for the Tau as a spy, found himself halfway across the galaxy, nearly killed by the Kroot he was travelling with, and has been nosing around the Koronus Expanse ever since, as a highly capable Fixer. There's also Astropath X, who should have a name next session. "I'm an essential part of the away team - because I'm the only expendable psyker on board." Van Baroque has been following up some centuries-old survey reports on the system 105 Anurahda, to see whether transuranic deposits that weren't worth mining then now are, and is annoyed to discover that somebody else beat him to it. But there's still a chance for profit, since the mobile refinery strip-mining the planet hasn't been resupplied in over a year and the crew are desperate to trade radioactives for food. Despite this chance to rip off a rival Rogue Trader - one Bel Ingeneri and his ship the Sycorax - the group are suspicious. The Lord-Captain orders a thorough scan of the entire system, suspecting an ambush. That at least gives me plenty of opportunity for purple prose (indeed, the whole setting does). van Baroque : It's an old trader adage - if a situation seems too good to be true, it probably is. GM : Your cybernetic senses are already more keen than those of mere organic flesh, but when you jack yourself into the auspex arrays you become Like Unto A God - you can watch as flares on the star's far side raise tsunamis of blazing plasma that sweep around the horizon,the glint of X-rays refracted off the internal facets of the distant asteroids, and the intricate curlicues engraved into the red-lit surface of the planet below, as the mobile mine grinds down mountains, fills valleys with its spoil, and stains the landscape with the smoke from its many processor stacks, caught by the perpetual winds flowing from the cold side. The Lord-Captain eventually decides to send the rest of the PCs and a few armed crew down with some crates of food, prior to bringing the mine boss up to complete negotiation. The mine itself has a certain resemblance to this render of the ridiculously huge Bagger 288, somehow transplanted to a lava world. Imagine that it was the bastard hybrid offspring of a petrochemical plant as well, though. A Satanic Mill indeed. They're not overly impressed when no-one but a few servitors come down to meet them, and actively alarmed when they discovered the wreckage of the mine's own flyer, the altered airlock records, and the fact that despite the voice on the vox the only living thing they can detect in the entire complex are themselves and the servitors. Which turn on them, leading to them being split up, attempting to make their way to the mine's bridge, as the rogue tech-priest they now believe they're at the mercy of rewires power supplies and machinery around them. Up on the Rose Tattoo, Lord-Captain van Baroque has his own problems - because the various signals broadcast up to him included some highly effective malware, now busily racing through the ships systems. He orders the crew into void suits and everything shut down, until the Tech-Adepts can exorcise the ship's cogitators, and prays the heretek doesn't have any hidden warships at his command. Jak manages to reach the bridge, whilst the heretek amuses himself with the rest of the group. But the heretek, wired into his cyberthrone, is already dead. And by the looks of things has been for years - but somebody is still laughing at them from the vox, and the servitors are closing in.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Mackinder Posted June 29, 2011 Report Share Posted June 29, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Looking good, though possibly not so for the PCs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted June 29, 2011 Report Share Posted June 29, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Sneaking aboard an Ork asteroid to scout and rescue human prisoners, whilst the ship we were in races off as a decoy, and all the Orks gleefully pursue or fire after it. Guildenstern : Let's go save these people Polonius : Far be it from me to correct you, Brother, but the important thing is to save their souls - so if we are forced to destroy this entire asteroid we have at least prevented their further spiritual degradation at the hands of the Orks. GM: It takes a brave man to be a coward in the Imperial Guard. Polonius : First, let me recite the First Prayer for those about to bring the Emperor's light into dark places. Everybody light your flame-throwers. Space Wolf Scout : *sniffs the air* Orks. Polonius : Yes, very helpful, Astartes. Perhaps you should press on and actually find some? A gretchin repair crew is sent down to investigate why the airlock keeps cycling. They find two Space Marines with fangs, dreadlocks and axes. Rutger : Who's your boss!? Gretchin : *all point to one of their number, who Rutger promptly decapitates* Rutger : Who's your boss!? Gretchin : You are, boss! Rutger's Off-sider : *cracks open the gretchin's skull and eats his brain* Gretchin & PCs : *stare horrified* Polonius : I'm being beaten around the head with a reactor fuel rod. Believe me, I'm VERY glad I'm wearing this helmet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted June 29, 2011 Report Share Posted June 29, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... One of the joys of playing a arsehole like Vitus is getting to say stuff that, quite rightly, would leave me sleeping on the couch for a week, at best, in real life. For example - Superhuman and teammate Jayla used to be male. Now she isn't Vitus : Oh? Well known curse. Girdle of Gender-bending. There's a lot of former males who would happily murder whoever invented that. Spinwing : Excuse me?! Are you actually claiming women are somehow worse than men? Vitus : Not worse, merely inferior. Spinwing : Oh, crawl back into your bottle, you macho caveman. Vitus : Gnoll. I can understand aliens or invertebrates getting it wrong, what's your excuse? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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