Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[feralucce]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Uriel (the AI replacement for Tyria): So... That... was your plan?

Isunne: Yeah. Is there something wrong with it?

Uriel: No... nothing wrong with it, per se.

Isunne: then what's wrong?

Uriel: I can't go along with this. I believe I have anal glaucoma.

Max: He has a...

Millie: No... don't ask...

Isunne (Scratching his head): Anal glaucoma?

Uriel: Yes. I can't see my ass going along with that... EVER.

[Klytus]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Uriel (the AI replacement for Tyria): So... That... was your plan?

Isunne: Yeah. Is there something wrong with it?

Uriel: No... nothing wrong with it, per se.

Isunne: then what's wrong?

Uriel: I can't go along with this. I believe I have anal glaucoma.

Max: He has a...

Millie: No... don't ask...

Isunne (Scratching his head): Anal glaucoma?

Uriel: Yes. I can't see my ass going along with that... EVER.

 

Repped! Anal glaucoma is so going into my lexicon

[BoloOfEarth]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Just back from GenCon, and will have to post quotes in parts.

 

First up was Rod Currie's Remarkable Wrong-Righters.

 

The heroes are called to a robbery in progress by the Sin Squad at the First Commerce Bank branch in a local strip mall.

 

GM: They're the new Sin Squad...

Deus X: The Nuisance Squad?

 

Rick Davies the Resiliant Rubber Man (the team leader) assigns targets to each hero. After smashing in the front window and doing a move-through on Envy that one-shot KO's her -

 

Rampart: Okay, I've done my part. Maybe I should go chill with Sloth.

Rampart: A robbery... in a strip mall?! You guys let Sloth plan this, didn't you?

 

Discussing Lust's power with a remarkably vain teammate...

 

Rampart: So, if Lust is targeting me, she'll look like Friction Lass...

Friction Lass: And if she's targeting me, she'll look like Friction Lass.

 

Spook: Rick can get Lust or Envy -- he's flexible.

 

Rick Davies: Did Sloth do anything at all? Did he even commit a crime?

Rampart: Malicious malingering?

GM: Loitering.

 

The team encounters a massively powerful being (Zee-Zee) from another dimension, apparently in our dimension doing things for his own entertainment.

 

Spook: Hey, you can be my sidekick!

Rick Davies: You need a name for him that ends in "Lad".

Spook: I was thinking "Spooky."

 

At Friction Lass's request, Zee-Zee creates a brand-new pink Jaguar for her.

 

Friction Lass: Do you have the Car-Facts on this Jaguar?

Rick Davies: It's called, "Looking a Gift Horse in the Mouth."

 

The undead team member discusses his rooming arrangements.

 

Spook: Technically, I reside at the beach house, I don't live there.

 

Zee-Zee introduces us to our evil counterparts. My personal favorites: Friction Lass's mirror image -- a guy in women's clothing, named Drag Queen, and Rick Davies' alternate -- Dick Davies, the Pornographic Prophylactic Man. After Dick Davies attacks Rick Davies...

 

Friction Lass: So, a reach-around fisting...

Rick Davies : Stop! Just.... STOP!

 

Wrath tries to move and breaks his ankle, then does a Presence Attack.

 

Deus X: There's gotta be a "You're a dumb-***" penalty here.

 

Charm: I'm going to make him feel weak and dejected.

Deus X: Like he's married?

 

Deus X has a great idea, for which his teammates congratulate him.

 

Deus X: (draws square in midair in front of him) Box. (points way up in the air) Me.

 

We're trying to figure out how to deal with Zee-Zee, and contact a powerful mage NPC.

 

Dr. Eternity: You want to build an entire dimension that's a power-inhibitor?!?!

Deus X: Is that hard?

 

Even better without context...

 

GM: You should never put an experimental physics institute at the bottom of a hill...

[BoloOfEarth]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Next on the docket was the Forest Glen Neighborhood Watch.

 

There were three adult supers: Super-Mom, Grey Falcon [formerly Green Falcon], and Dr. Marty [formerly Dr. Skull, but he's reformed. Really. Honest. Trust him.]

 

There were also three teen supers: Popular Girl, Eyas [sidekick-wannabe for Grey Falcon], and Gadget Girl.

 

The adult supers first meet the teen supers during an attack on the Fourth of July parade. Afterward. Dr. Marty introduces himself to Gadget Girl.

 

Dr. Marty: I see you are pursuing a career in the sciences. Perhaps you are awar of my... distinguished career.

 

The adults and teens are all pursuing the investigation!

 

Dr. Marty: So, Grey Falcon, in the mood for a little child endangerment?

 

Popular Girl refuses to wear a costume, but agrees to wear a mask to hide her identity.

 

GM: It's a really pretty mask.

Popular Girl: It's Bedazzled.

 

Following the trail, we see a hole in the floor with a pole leading down into the darkness.

 

Eyas: A pole! SWEET! (Goes down the pole)

Dr. Marty: (complete deadpan monotone) No. Stop. It might be trapped.

 

After one fight, the GM tells Popular Girl: You check your nails. They're fine.

 

Dr. Marty takes some readings on a strange phenomenon.

 

G: There's a shift in [such-and-such]. Shift in [something-else]. Shift in quantum state.

Miss Popular: What's a quantum state?

Eyas: It think it's next to Indiana.

 

We hear something about a Protocol C, apparently implemented by Dr. Marty, though he doesn't really remember it.

 

Eyas: What is Protocol C?

Dr. Marty: It's the third one.

Grey Falcon: It could be in hexadecimal, in which case it's the twelfth one.

Dr. Marty: Or a hundred. I had lots of protocols and plans.

 

After learning that his actions affected each person on the Neighborhood Watch.

 

Dr Marty: (to Super-Mom) I'm sorry. (to Gadget Girl) I'm sorry. (to former arch-nemesis Gray Falcon) I'm mostly sorry.

[BoloOfEarth]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Friday started with Mike Surbrook's Left 4 Dead Hero game. Unfortunately, I was so caught up in the game as well as getting told some helpful details from the video game Left 4 Dead, that I didn't write down any quotes. Going off memory, I only recall a few things I said. I was playing Ellis, a good ol' Southern boy.

 

The zombies can't normally talk to each other.

 

Player of one of the Uncommon Infected zombies: Okay, how about, we're all from the same SEAL team, so we communicate by hand signals.

 

Ellis (hefting a golf club and advancing on a zombie): One! Two! Three! (swings golf club) Fore!

 

A Smoker grabs Ellis with his 30m long tongue and is dragging him across the mall floor toward him. A Witch moves so she's standing directly over the tongue. We're lucky enough that a riot-cop zombie bumps her and incurs her wrath before Ellis reaches her. Luckily for the cop zombie, his body armor means that he's still alive after the Witch's first attack.

 

Ellis: I know this is going to sound wrong if taken out of context, but is there any way I can make a DEX roll so I slide between the Witch's legs?

 

On the floor above, Zoe and Bill ran for the stairs while Francis and Ellis died at the hands of the zombies. As in the video game, Ellis and Francis re-spawn in closets on the next floor down. Trying to get to the elevator, Bill and Zoe are getting swarmed and stomped by zombies.

 

Ellis (to Bill): So, should I just run for the elevator, or stay to help you and Zoe?

Bill: I can't believe you even asked such a question! You run for the elevator!

[BoloOfEarth]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Next was Grady Elliott's Terracide game, The Admiral's Daughter. Unfortunately, I forgot to take a copy of the sheet listing all of the player characters, so I forgot one PC's name -- the female medic.

 

FYI: Nikolai is a genetically-altered human known as an Ursa, built for brawn instead of brains. And Dreg is a guy who manages to piss pretty much everybody off.

 

GM: She's going to punch you in the head.

Nikolai: Oh, I thought she was going to go for something vital.

 

(female medic PC): I threaten her with my paramedics kit.

 

The heroes are winning the fight.

 

GM: There's still one annoying person standing.

Nikolai: Yeah, but he's on my team.

 

We're about to enter a poisonous-gas filled area, and only a few of us have environmental suits.

 

GM: They'll get you two into survival bubbles.

Alphonse: Hamster balls!

[feralucce]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Isunne: HOLD IT! Time OUT!

Vox: Why do you interrupt?

Isunne: I call for Parsley!

*EVERYONE STARES AT THE QUANTUM ENGINEER*

Max:.... Parsley?

Isunne: You know, talks, the pirates code, like in that movie?

Max: Oh. Parley!

Isunne: There's a difference?

[BoloOfEarth]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Moving on to Haymaker! Jam, the annual game open to all Haymaker! contributors past and present and run by Dave Mattingly. We were playing members of the Bazaar, a team of mostly teen supers, investigating a kidnapping that led to a lost Aztec city of gold and a potential human sacrifice.

 

Mike Surbrook picked Purple Phantom to play, and learned that Phantom is a major fan of anime, comic books, sci-fi, fantasy, games, etc. etc. etc. Midway through the game:

 

Mike: I love this character! It's impossible for me to be out of character!

 

We find the Aztec city, and the team leader (Dragonfly) has the heroes all approach the Aztecs to talk first, with China Doll staying invisible so the Aztecs underestimate our numbers and she can be our ace-in-the-hole if things go south.

 

China Doll: So, I'm the only one that speaks their language. What'll I be, a disembodied voice?

 

Not surprisingly, things do go south and we rush to the large ziggurat pyramid in the center of the city. Going down some steps, we fight a combination of Aztec warriors and DEMON agents. Unfortunately, Dave mistakenly referred to them as Morbanes, not Brothers.

 

Dragonfly: A half-dozen MORBANES?! Oh, my God!

 

Purple Phantom ducks out of the fight to search for the hostage (Christine Cooper), finding her in a set of cells.

 

Purple Phantom: I'm Luke Skywalker. I'm here to rescue you.

Christine: Aren't you a little short to be a stormtrooper?

 

Purple Phantom: By the way, you're not a virgin, are you? Someone said that may be important.

 

Wanting to leave her behind temporarily to search down a shaft, Purple Phantom talks a frightened Christine into staying in the cell to wait for him.

 

Purple Phantom: Wow, I can't believe that worked.

GM: Saying that aloud -- not a good idea.

 

The lost city is over a (mostly) dormant volcano, and we go into the caverns under the temple.

 

Dragonfly: I can't breathe sulfur.

Major Dude: Is that what that is? I thought Valiant farted.

 

DEMON had summoned a giant alligator creature, 200 feet long with a clubbed tail and tentacles.

 

Purple Phantom: You know, the girls shouldn't go near that thing, based on some movies I may not have seen.

 

The beast was so big, it had a negative DCV.

 

GM: The good thing is, with you grabbing it, it's now DCV 0 instead of the DCV -7 that it was before.

 

GM: Wow, a called move-through to the head. You don't hear that every day.

 

We finally defeat the monster.

 

Major Dude: (to Purple Phantom) You're not gonna take another level in "Dork", are you?

[Christopher]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The beast was so big, it had a negative DCV.

 

GM: The good thing is, with you grabbing it, it's now DCV 0 instead of the DCV -7 that it was before.

Funny story, but I had to check the part with the DCV back.

In 6E the lower Limit for DCV is 0 (what you have when not able or willing to move). Of course you size would still negate all postive modififers (Aids, Maneuvers, A enemies Negative OCV).

Btu then again, this could have been 5E so I am not so certain about it.

[BoloOfEarth]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Saturday morning's BYOB game, also run by Dave Mattingly. My favorite character had to be Velvet Jones, a pimp transplanted from the 1970s and played (don't know by whom) with hilarious non-political-correctness. I brought Bankshot, a man with a Multipower of pool balls along with his pool cue named Floyd, with which he practices Cue-Jitsu.

 

Elektra was having trouble understanding what Velvet Jones was saying.

 

Bankshot: I'll translate. I speak Jive.

 

As we discuss beating the Ultimates the night before, team leader Griffin is asking for suggestions for a team name.

 

Plasma: Bird Man and the Ultimate Destroyers?

 

GM: (Velvet Jones') suggestion for a team name was "The Protection Racket"

 

Griffin: (to Velvet Jones) You shot villains from behind a car.

Velvet Jones: Yeah, because there weren't any civilians to hide behind.

 

Velvet Jones is asking each character what he or she does, and gets to the cat mage. (Sorry, I forgot to get the character's name -- and yes, the character was a cat who did magic). He keeps referring to her as just "Cat".

 

Bankshot: (OOC to Velvet Jones) Do you have to make an EGO roll to keep from calling her a variation of "Cat"?

 

Velvet Jones: (to Bankshot) So, how many balls do you have?

Bankshot: That's a rather personal question.

 

Griffin: Plasma Guy?

GM: Just Plasma. The "Guy" is silent.

 

We're called to deal with a giant flying pyramid with a laser at the top, floating about a hundred feet over downtown and blasting buildings. Griffin carries the non-fliers there in Velvet Jones' big purple Cadillac. Inertia flies Brass Knuckles (in normal form) up to the top of the pyramid, dropping him off to take out the laser.

 

GM: So, when you change to your brass form, do you have any power to cling to the smooth side of the pyramid? Or fly?

Brass Knuckles: Not as such, no. So, as I'm falling toward the pyramid and changing, I go, "Huh!"

 

Brass Knuckles: I can fly down. Once.

 

One group of heroes blasts in the front, but the massive stone door begins to fall to the street below. The cat mage opens a teleportation gate under it to deal with the problem.

 

GM: Where's the gate going to go?

Cat mage: In the desert. Where I go to poop.

 

As Brass Knuckles slides down the side of the pyramid, Inertia uses his powers to reverse Brass' direction of movement.

 

Brass Knuckles: I'm falling! Falling! Falling up! Falling UP?!?!

 

A group goes into the pyramid through the now-open front door.

 

Velvet Jones: (to cat mage) Oh, you're in human form? Oh, yeah, I'm definately walking behind her!

 

Prowler attacks.

 

GM: He's going to run along the ceiling and kick Velvet Jones back out on the street where he belongs.

 

Sengoku Jazz (female ninja) steals Bankshot's pool cue.

 

Bankshot: (in anguish) FLOYD!!!!

 

Plasma burns a small shelf near the top of the pyramid for Brass Knuckles to stand on while he trashes the laser. He's finally face-to-face with it.

 

GM: In fact, it's orienting on you right now.

Brass Knuckles: Motivation!

 

Brass Knuckles: These may be my last words. Griffin! I may have left the quiche on!

 

Yurei (female martial artist) is fighting Sengoku Jazz.

 

Velvet Jones: Cat fight!

 

Gesundheit (a big snot man) attacks Paladin, knocking him and several others out the open door.

 

GM: At the end, you're going to be dangling like a booger.

 

Elektra: So, Prowler's hanging from the ceiling?

GM: Yeah.

Elektra: (mimes a boxer using a punching bag)

 

Brass Knuckles rips off the laser and drops down the hole into the control room. Dave puts several villain counters in the room.

 

GM: What kind of enhanced senses do you have.

Brass Knuckles: None. Well, I can see okay at night.

GM: (removing villain counters) Okay, you do not see any invisible people.

 

Blythe Spirit does a massive Presence Attack on Paladin.

 

GM: You lose your entire next action, and you need to change your pants.

 

Trying to free Bankshot from being possessed by Blythe Spirit, Velvet Jones grabs the dropped pool cue and, while Bankshot is looking, tosses it out the open door toward the street far below. Bankshot dives out the door to fly after it. Prowler also ends up going out the door, and Velvet Jones takes a shot at him. He rolls a critical failure.

 

GM: You destroyed Floyd. He's going to have to be buried in a long, skinny casket.

[BoloOfEarth]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Funny story, but I had to check the part with the DCV back.

In 6E the lower Limit for DCV is 0 (what you have when not able or willing to move). Of course you size would still negate all postive modififers (Aids, Maneuvers, A enemies Negative OCV).

Btu then again, this could have been 5E so I am not so certain about it.

 

It was 5E, but mainly it was just a running gag. Not much seriousness was had that game.

[BoloOfEarth]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I also watched the start of Fallout: Where Are All The Good Men Dead before realizing that I want to play it at U*Con, so I ducked out after only a short time. Only one quote from that.

 

GM: (to young male playing Scar) Are you in touch with your feminine wiles? Because you're so smokin' hot, you have Bulletproof Hotness.

 

- - - - -

 

I went to a seminar on Instant GMing. Not quite what I was expecting, but parts were interesting.

 

(seminar speaker, don't know who): There are three different types of difficult players / characters. Lawful Annoying... Stuck in Neutral... and Chaotic Stupid.

[feralucce]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Isunne: Parley, parsley, parfait... what's the difference?

Max: one's a garnish... one's delicious... One's gonna get you shot in the face.

[BoloOfEarth]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

My last game of the Con was Discworld Hero: The Pseudopolis Experiment. I played Brews Canaburry, a dwarf from Four Ecks, the Australia-like area of the Discworld. Of course, I had to do the bad Aussie accent and stereotypes throughout. My apologies to our Aussie friends.

 

Some quotes are in Spoilers, since they give away some major plot points. If you plan on playing this incredibly fun game, DO NOT LOOK AT THE SPOILERS! I really mean it. Our quotes aren't nearly as funny as the game will be for you if you play it.

 

Me: I love his name! "Brews". Like "Bruce." Or like beer. It's funny on multiple levels.

 

Me: So, Zarkiza is a fireworks alchemist? Is there any other kind?

Zarkiza: Yeah. Her kind is intentional.

 

Murray Finkelstein (a former accountant turned to a Frankenstein monster): The phrase you're looking for is Maintain the Peace.

Zarkiza (firworks alchemist): Which piece?

Brews: (OOC) The biggest piece.

 

The GM describes Leonard's prototype device, a tall box standing on end, with a door on one side. It looks strangely... familiar.

 

Leonard: I don't know why it has to be blue, though...

 

Brews decides to slide down a wire to the floor below.

 

GM: Do you have any Breakfall? Or Acrobatics?

Brews: No, but that's never stopped me before.

 

Leondard of Quirm's experiment is interrupted by a group of trolls trying to steal the device.

 

Brews: I use my Truncheon, Pain, for the Application Of.

 

We hear a distant explosion, and something smashes through the ceiling. We see it's the sign from the Alchemist's Guild.

 

Brews: Oh, is it 5:00 already?

 

Something goes wrong.

 

Murray: Well, that's just patently unfair.

 

Ursula (beautiful blademaster): (OOC) Man, I hate doing math. I don't know why I play games.

 

Zarkiza is going to set off some of her fireworks.

 

Zarkiza: QUACK! (OOC) You all know her well enough to know she probably meant DUCK!

 

Murray: (contemplating his 25 STR) I'm sure this is coming out of my pay when I break my trunchon on this troll. In my hands, it's pretty much a one-use weapon.

 

 

After much sparking of electricity, we find ourselves in a dusty museum. Ptolemus (were-bull) picks up a newspaper lying on the floor.

 

Ptolemus: We're 300 years in the future!

Murray: I was planning to get there anyway, but I was kinda hoping for the in-between years.

 

Brews: It occurs to me, we've got 300 years of back pay coming.

Murray: And where are you going to collect it from? There's always a fatal flaw in those plans.

 

We look outside the museum to see the bustling city.

 

GM: ... and they're all orangutans.

Murray: Anyone want to hit the "damn dirty apes" comment?

 

Brews: Y'know, there is probably a library here.... with a human librarian.

 

 

 

Brews: I heard that trolls go backward in time.

Ursula: So they knew this was coming... and didn't tell us.

 

Murray picks up a siege crossbow (Detritus' Peacemaker, 'cause it makes things into lots of tiny pieces)

 

Brews: And this is very, very important. (pointing) That is the safety catch.

 

Trying to sneak out of the city disguised under hooded cloaks, Brews runs into a drunk and gets invited to the pub.

 

Ptolemus: We're going to the bar. (hangs head) The gods hate me.

 

 

 

Three of the heroes (Murray, Zarkiza, and Ursula) are about to be rousted by the local Watch.

 

Murray: We may not be Drunk and Disorderly, but we are guilty of Being Human Without a License.

 

In the pub, trying to sing along to the "Ook! Ook! Ook!" song to fit in gets Ptolemus in trouble. As the inevitible pub fight breaks out, Brews gets under a table, then pulls down the tablecloth to shield himself from flying glass. As he does this, he hears a "thump!" and liquid noises from the tabletop.

 

Orangutan at the table: Oook ook OOK!

Ptolemus: I know that one! "You spilled my pint!"

 

 

 

Ptolemus: Oh, what the hell. It's not my city.

 

During the pub brawl, Ursula walks into the door at the same time Ptolemus' hooded cloak falls, and she sees everybody stop.

 

Ursula: I am gooood.

 

Zarkiza lights a firework to distract the city's inhabitants so we can all sneak away.

 

GM: Narrative causality kicks in. She planted the firework in the mud pointing straight up, and after she lights it and runs away, it begins to sloooowly fall over, so when the rocket fires off, it goes flying into the pub before exploding.

 

Brews points out that Ptolemus has levels in Thrown Objects, and suggests his bell might make a good thrown weapon.

 

Ptolemus: I don't want to throw my bell away. I'll get charged for it.

 

Ursula: I have Paramedics.

Brews: We'll need that for pulling the quills out.

Ptolemus: That fills me with such confidence.

 

After driving a cart off a cliff and landing on a ledge, we hear a voice from a small cave in the cliff face.

 

(voice): Is it raining out there?

Murray: It's clear, with falling objects.

 

We find Reg Shoe's still-unliving and talking head, and Murray decides to mount it on his shoulder.

 

Ursula: 'Cuz that'll make you look so much more normal.

 

Talking about the Trousers of Time.

 

Ptolemus: I can't explain it like Ponder Stibbons does. It all makes sense when he says it.

 

We're approached by a group of swamp dragons.

 

Brews: (in his best Crocodile Hunter imitation) Crikey! Those look dangerous! Let's go poke 'em with a stick!

 

Murray plans to use Zarkiza's fireworks to take out the swamp dragons.

 

Murray: Be ready to run if this works.

Brews: And if it doesn't work?

Murray: Then it won't matter for us. I think it'll all sort itself out just fine.

 

Hiding behind a wall.

 

Murray: (Holding Reg's head up) Reg! What do you see?

 

We run into a vampire.

 

Murray: Do we have five minutes to listen to his name?

 

 

Clockwork robot guards at one door are modeled after Sgt. Colon and Cpl. "Nobby" Nobs.

 

 

Colon: Stop doing that... or we'll say "Stop" again.

 

Murray: Nothing to see here. Move along. (aside) We're well trained for that.

 

Brews suggests a course of action.

 

Murray: Rarely does this phrase come out of my mouth, but I agree with Brews.

 

GM: You have your superlative disguises on.

Murray: (slightly sarcastic) Yes, we blend.

 

Murray: A plan! A plan would have been good!

 

Ptolemus: Let's try the subtle approach first, and if that doesn't work...

Murray: I agree. When that doesn't work...

Brews: I noticed that. (point to Ptolemus) If. (point to Murray) When.

 

Ptolemus: One, two, three, LEG IT!

 

 

 

Clockwork robots: Exterminate! Exterminate!

Brews: Gee, I wonder what they look like!

 

We open the door to Leonard of Quirm's blue-box prototype and step inside.

 

Brews: Hey, this is smaller on the inside than it is on the outside!

 

 

[addiction king]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Nice qoute that some funny shit :3

[FrankL]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

That part in the last spoiler sounds more like it was built by Bloody Stupid Johnson instead of Leonard of Quirm.

[Lucius]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

That part in the last spoiler sounds more like it was built by Bloody Stupid Johnson instead of Leonard of Quirm.

 

Maybe they're the same person?

 

Lucius Alexander

 

The palindromedary proposes that what the Discworld needs is a few good conspiracy theories.

[Christopher]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The palindromedary proposes that what the Discworld needs is a few good conspiracy theories.

You mean things like "Havelock Vetinari, the Patrician of Ank-Morpork, is actually part of most secret soceities trying to dethrone him?".

[Lucius]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

You mean things like "Havelock Vetinari' date=' the Patrician of Ank-Morpork, is actually part of most secret soceities trying to dethrone him?".[/quote']

 

And that island the Klatchians were trying to take away? The one that mysteriously vanished? I hear the Patrician himself caused it to sink into the sea with technology he got from some genius he's holding captive and hiding away!

 

Lucius Alexander

 

The palindromedary: The Patrician found the last true Heir to the throne of the city, and is concealing his identity until the time is right to put us under the yoke of monarchy again! He means to be the power behind the throne when he brings back the bad old days when common folks had no rights at all!

 

The palindromedary's other head: The Patrician knows who the True King is but dares not move against him because of the Prophecy! When the time is right, the King will come forth to save us from the tyrrany of the Patrician and the decadence of the nobility and the corruption of the guilds!

[BoloOfEarth]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

One more that I forgot to write down.

 

Keeping in mind that Brews is a dwarf...

 

Brews: No rats! But I was really looking forward to a rat on the barbie!

[feralucce]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Uriel, upon finding Isunne's Quantum Milk machine (remember "sung to the toon of lady lumps, or what ever it is called" My quantum milk machine brings all the yards to the boy!?)

 

Uriel: to milli: May I ask, What is that device?

Milli: no. you may not

 

*later, after touching the big green button*

 

Uriel: *on comms* We have a problem.

Max: what is it?

Uriel: Hold 3 seems to be filled with yards.

Milli: yards?

Uriel: complete with picket fences.

*BLINK BLINK*

Uriel: And one very confused little boy.

[Starcloud]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

There's a strange thing going on. Something called Skimwords seems to be adding links to certain words, highlighting them and making them into "Shopping links" from Bizrate.

[feralucce]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

That is on your end...

 

 

Unless that is the quote from your game... In which case, I for ones, need some context

[Drhoz]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

For the benefit of those readers of Brothers Guildenstern and Polonius' adventures in the Myen-Fio, a short summary of the various political factions on the world Fio-zor, its moon Kor-zor, and regions adjacent, and what we know about their objectives ( or think we do ).

 

 

The Order of the Black Monolith - What passes for the human religious authorities in Myen-Fio, itself divided into at least a dozen power factions. The oldest human population in Myen-Fio, still resentful of the Tau control of the system, and would welcome the return of the Imperium, but for four things. 1) They're not a recognised Imperial Cult 2) They're using ancient xenos tech - the Black Monoliths - to amplify their astropathic link to the rest of the galaxy 3) they collaborate with Tau, under duress, admittedly, but that's no excuse and 4) that forces them to be nicer to mutants and abhumans than they would like to be. Probably a front for the shadow government we've glimpsed working behind the scenes.

 

The Palantine Government - A mostly secular, self-governing human enclave, many of them never part of the Imperium to begin with, and willingly collaborating with the Tau. On the surface at least, too liberal for their own good.

 

The Order of the Chained Fist - Space Marines with a Rogue Trader warrant, and as such the only Imperial organisation with a recognised presence in Myen-Fio. Allegedly just here to trade and provide medical services, but it seems unlikely the Tau actually believe this.

 

The Veterans - Former Imperial Guard and POW officers and troops, who are appalled at the Tau's slow reaction to the Ork threat and have been acting pre-emptively. Includes Bishop Pius of the Order of the Black Monolith, Major Schotts of the Kringleman POWs, and various others.

 

The Adeptus Astropathica - Of increasing importance, and they know it. Tau don't have psykers, and the Astropathic relays will ensure faster-than-light communications as the war progresses.

 

The Unknown Inquisitor, whose agents include veterans, clergy, and even disgraced aliens. Presumably he's setting things up behind the scenes to ensure an easy human victory, when the Imperium returns.

 

The Kringleman POWs - Humans captured by the Tau during their latest offensive on the Imperium of Man, and shipped en masse to Myen-Fio. Despite re-education, most of them are still loyal to humanity. Most are members of the Cult of Saint Nikolas, an orthodox Imperial cult that regards a long-dead Kringleman leader as a saint.

 

Pastor Astrofael and the Nikolites - Splinter-sect of the Cult of St. Nikolas, arising in the absence of Brother Polonius, and apparently trying to usurp his crusade.

 

The Squats, mutants, and abhumans - Agitating for full recognition and rights, and getting it, thanks to the Tau and Palantine governments.

 

U Thara Craftworld - Merchant Princes who apparently have been playing off the races on Myen-Fio against each other, in a typically byzantine scheme to have the humans, Tau, and Orks exhaust each other before they sweep in to 'rescue' their planet-bound Exodite cousins. This plan has gone spectacularly pear-shaped, because the Orks attacked U Thara first.

 

Iyanden Craftworld - Apparently predicted the failure of the U Tharan scheme, but are apparently willing to give U Thara enough rope to hang themselves.

 

Myen-Fio Exodites - Planetbound Eldar, here millennia before humans or Tau showed up, and apparently indifferent to the presence of all these races. Mildly annoyed that the U Tharan are using them as pawns, though.

 

The Flaming Moes - Native to the abandoned and frigid Eldar colony orbiting the nearby star 'Far Companion'. Apparently tied in some way to the Eldar, but seemingly benign. No idea what they want. Will no doubt become more important when the Kringlemen move there en masse.

 

Ork Mercenaries - Happy to work with the Tau in return for teef, shootas, and shinies, and lotz a fightin'.

 

Ork Pirates - Trouble. Big Trouble. Currently attacking U Thara and Kor-zor.

 

The Tau Ethereals - They brought all these factions to Myen-Fio in the hope that they'd all learn to live together and work for the Greater Good. They can't possibly be as oblivious and naive as this would seem, and indeed, there have been some surprising successes. However...

 

The Tau Fire Caste - Think their Ethereal leaders have been tragically oblivious and naive, and are arguing for an increased military force. They, human auxiliaries, Kroot Mercenaries, Vespids, Exodite warriors and Ork Commandos are known to be carrying out non-stop wargames in Fio-zor's equatorial jungle, as practise for the real thing.

 

 

... and it's into the middle of all this that Polonius has wandered, playing the factions off against each other for political advantage, and Guildenstern has blundered like a rhino ripped of its tits on fine Peruviuan coke.

 

Polonius et al make a spectacular reappearance, having just been spat out of the Eldar Webway on the moon Kor-zor, driving tanks. The Eldar in the dome are slightly startled, but not as much as the Tau, who had been unaware of the portal's existence before now. They're even more annoyed to see Polonius, who was supposedly in intensive care rather than off working with Orks like he was supposed to.

 

Polonius

: I

have

been working with Orks - turning live Orks into dead ones is work, isn't it?

 

As soon as they notice the heavily armed Tau heading their way, Guildenstern and Alex sidle off to make their reports to their various handlers, and Polonius happily informs the crowd that he has vitally important news regarding the war, and that he'll be back to tell them all about it just as soon as he's talked to these nice Tau over here.

 

Fire Caste officer

: We've been looking for you. >

You're supposed to be in hospital.

Polonius

: I made a miraculous recovery

 

Having made himself inconveniently public again, Polonius is taken to deliver the U Tharan request for aid, instead of off behind the chemical sheds and shot.

 

Guildenstern

: Want us to go rescue him again? I'll need three squads and a satchel charge.

Major Schotts

: Good man - that's the spirit

Rosenkrantz OOC

: and a blow-up doll. In Tau armour.

 

Polonius waits in the Air Caste's military operations dome, smiling broadly, apart from one brief flicker of dismay when he recalls he's on the same moon as that Ork Mekaniak that's after his hide, and that he's just announced his presence to the world.

 

Rosenkrantz

: Smug doth come before a fall.

 

Rosenkrantz ( this of course prior to becoming Jak Frost in the Mykybe's Veil campaign ) is elsewhere settling in as a loyal auxiliary to the Tau, when he's ordered to assist the Tau Shas'vo-called-Inquisitor, who is trying to understand how Polonius thinks. He's even considering bundling Polonius into a one-man spacecraft and sending him back to the Imperium. That, actually, would be a serious threat to Polonius - after all, the Imperium would be rather unhappy with him, what with the Kringleman surrender to the Tau he negotiated, or starting that crusade without waiting for permission, unless he can present them with a suitably primed and obedient human population and cowed Xenos when they eventually retake the Myen-Fio system.

 

Rosenkrantz

: You have to understand, sir - Brother Polonius is the face, Brother Guildenstern is the neck.

Polonius OOC

: The thick, red, sun-burned neck

 

Shas'vo-called-Inquisitor isn't very pleased with Polonius, or his smug replies regarding why he is disobeyed the Ethereals, and slams his head into the table a few times. But Polonius was expecting that - it's the Tau's claim that Polonius is a nobody who will never amount to anything that earns him top place in Polonius' list of people to see humiliated and dead.

 

GM

: They warm up the old console, displaying the ongoing space battle.

Guildenstern OOC

: Hey, ASTEROIDS ! oh... those are Ork Rokks.

 

Since the Tau aren't letting Polonius out of their sight, now, the other PCs are all off running their own schemes. Mostly this involves telling various interested parties only what the PCs think would be most useful for them to know, at this point. On the other hand...

 

Polonius

: Rosenkrantz just started a riot, by buying free drinks for everybody at a dwarf bar?!

 

GM

: Your credit is dead. So dead your only hope is to take it to some space marines and hope they put it in some Dreadnought armour.

 

Speaking of Dreadnoughts, there's a Gilded Guard Space Marine Dreadnought currently leading one of the human armies ( and those aforementioned tanks, and others that look suspiciously like the supposedly non-combat vehicles the Order of the Chained Fist have been selling) against the Orks on Kor-zor. He was an honoured guest at the Feast Day of Saint Solar Macharius, since he had been effectively killed in that crusade before his broken body was hooked up to the Dreadnought. He's supposedly in the Myen-Fio system solely as an ambassador ( yeah, right ) but he's too busy to attend the conclave Guildenstern is somehow putting together. Indeed, he's been quite enjoying meeting some of the Iyanden Eldar Wraithguard whilst he's been here - they were killed during the same crusade. By the crusaders.

 

Bishop Pius

: I'm a spent force. My political influence is over.

Polonius OOC

: *

deadpan

* Gosh. What. A. Pity.

 

Guildenstern

: I want the hands of everybody that cost me mine, and if I ever find out who cost me my mind, I want their head!

Rosenkrantz OOC

: *

whispers

* It's at Cash Converters - that's the best price they could get for it

 

Brother Astrofael and his Nikolite splinter-sect look like they might actually be a problem for the orthodox faithful of Kringle, and their belief in Saint Nikolas. Astrofael has been preaching up a storm in Polonius's absence.

 

Polonius OOC

: He wants to preach to his ho-ho-homies XD

 

The Mekaniak is now stomping around the surface of the moon in a giant battle-machine, frothing at the mouth and demanding Polonius come out and fight. Polonius, not being insane, is uncertain how best to deal with this.

 

Polonius

: I'm trying to figure out a way to deal with this, AND look awesome, AND not get killed. On the other hand, if I

do

get killed, I don't have to go work

with

Orks.

 

Eventually the conclave of Tau, Eldar, and Humans comes to some sort of order, although Guildenstern bashing the Tau Ethereals for their lack of action is a move Polonius attempts to dissauade.

 

Polonius

: I'm urgently trying to semaphore him with my eyebrows - Not Here, Not Now.

 

Incredibly, the needling forces the Tau Ethereals to admit, in front of the Tau Air Caste, that they knew about the Tau Air Caste prisoners of the Orks, but were not going to do anything about it, and that it was Guildenstern et al who actually rescued them. To say that the Air Caste are bloody furious is an understatement. To the point that they and the Fire Caste set up an Advisory Committee of Home Guardians, with Fire and Air Caste representatives, and U Tharan Eldar, and Guildenstern (apparently they respect his forthrightness, and he does have some popularity with the human mob) but no Ethereals. The later look appalled by this development, as did Polonius, until he realised not being on the committee leaves him a free agent.

 

Things would appear to be getting even more complicated.

[Susano]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Friday started with Mike Surbrook's Left 4 Dead Hero game. Unfortunately, I was so caught up in the game as well as getting told some helpful details from the video game Left 4 Dead, that I didn't write down any quotes. Going off memory, I only recall a few things I said. I was playing Ellis, a good ol' Southern boy.

 

The zombies can't normally talk to each other.

 

Player of one of the Uncommon Infected zombies: Okay, how about, we're all from the same SEAL team, so we communicate by hand signals.

 

Ellis (hefting a golf club and advancing on a zombie): One! Two! Three! (swings golf club) Fore!

 

A Smoker grabs Ellis with his 30m long tongue and is dragging him across the mall floor toward him. A Witch moves so she's standing directly over the tongue. We're lucky enough that a riot-cop zombie bumps her and incurs her wrath before Ellis reaches her. Luckily for the cop zombie, his body armor means that he's still alive after the Witch's first attack.

 

Ellis: I know this is going to sound wrong if taken out of context, but is there any way I can make a DEX roll so I slide between the Witch's legs?

 

On the floor above, Zoe and Bill ran for the stairs while Francis and Ellis died at the hands of the zombies. As in the video game, Ellis and Francis re-spawn in closets on the next floor down. Trying to get to the elevator, Bill and Zoe are getting swarmed and stomped by zombies.

 

Ellis (to Bill): So, should I just run for the elevator, or stay to help you and Zoe?

Bill: I can't believe you even asked such a question! You run for the elevator!

 

You guys had a great (for me) playtest session, and I will run this next year. The map will be taped together, I will improve the Infected, and I will either A) draw on the map [i'm not really going to use it for anything else] or make a lot of props with the new hex-based Gaming Paper. Also, next year will see Half Life 2 Hero.