Mjolnir74 Posted September 21, 2011 Report Share Posted September 21, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Quotes from my Shadowrun4 game ------------------------- Cast: Esperanza: Female Orc - South African Sniper and Wired Adept Six: Female Orc - Rigger and Combat Biker Shiko: Female eGhost Hacker - An AI currently residing in an anthroform drone ------------------------- The team is trying to make their escape after launching a daring assault on DocWagon to steal a corpse (Yeah, that's right. Steal a corpse). They have come up the freight elevator into the ambulance garage and need to get through a reinforced door to make their escape. Six: Shiko, open the doors. Shiko: Their mag-locked. There is nothing I can do. Six: What about manually overriding them? Shiko: That takes time. Six: I have a grenade launcher. Esperanza: I'm 100% behind this plan. ------------------------- On Shiko's drone ... Esperanza: She's anatomically correct. GM: And possibly fully functional. Six: Which is creepy because her Dad* made her. GM: So its THAT way in Shiko's family. Esperanza: Well, she is Japanese. ------------------------- * An eGhost is the consciousness of a person who was trapped in the matrix during the Crash 2.0. So even though she is considered an AI, Shiko did have a human father. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted September 21, 2011 Report Share Posted September 21, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The Rose Tattoo, currently laid up in orbit around Lucin's Breath, is roused to action by a frantic distress call from the scoopship Archangel, harvesting deuterium from a gas giant closer to the star - they're being taken apart by something much larger than themselves. Lord-Captain van Baroque is in no state to command, having over-imbibed on amasec and anecdote, but Tech-Priest Casu Marzu is happy to assume control. After all, in his opinion the ship rightfully belongs to the Priesthood of Mars anyway, and the Lord-Captain is just one of those inconvenient meatbags you have to work around sometimes. Tech-Priest Marzu : Go to Red Alert! You! Change the light-bulb! Lord-Captain Harlvesk of the Emperor's Vow can evidently hold his liquor better, and the two ships lead the rush to assist. After all, the Koronus Expanse may be relatively lawless, but there is a standing bounty on pirates, and the authorities don't much mind what you do to the pirates themselves afterwards. Tech-Priest Marzu advises Lord-Captain Harlvesk to stay in position with the Rose Tattoo. Arriving ahead of any support may be unwise. Considering what happened with the Rose Tattoo a few weeks earlier, somebody on the Vow's bridge finds this advice risible, before being politely cut off. Since the gas giant in question orbits a star busy turning itself into a planetary nebula ( one of the reasons it's so enriched in deuterium in the first place ) the radiation belts around it are unbelievably hellish, so it is not until they can see the Archangel and its attacker, crouched like a ghastly spider silhouetted against the cloud-tops that they can even tell what they're up against. GM : The main hull is standard Imperial, as far as you can tell. But the part of it that horrifies your Tech-Priest soul are the almost insectile limbs grafted onto the superstructure... Marzu's player : *alarmed* Are some of those limbs claws? GM : *nods happily* Marzu's player : You ****er. You unbelievable ****, ****, **********, etc. GM : You roll up a random ship, and gloat about how awesome and unbeatable it is, and you honestly believe I'm *not* going to use it against you? Hand over the data-sheet, I haven't familiarized myself completely with your design. Marzu's player : That's why I didn't give it to you before, ********* The enemy ship is known to the Tech-Priests and the Imperial Navy as the Reclamator, and it has a long history of carving up other spacecraft all over the Calixis Sector and the Expanse, and harvesting the crews for conversion into servitors. Marzu's player : Reclamator?!? That's what I was going to call it!! *froths* It's believed to be a creation of the hereteks known as the Logicians, the same group behind the Meritech Corporation and cause of the war that earned van Baroque's grandfather his title. The Tech-Priests of the Lathe system have a reward for its destruction - freehold on one of an assortment of recently surveyed worlds. Casu Marzu is even more familiar it, since he was one of the few survivors of another attack by it, decades ago. GM : There's a strange sort of strangled noise coming over Marzu's vox-channel, before a list previous known attacks starts scrolling up on all your holo-screens. It's a long list, even before you get to the section on *suspected* attacks. Xanthis : I think I should have stayed back on the space station... Tech-Priest Marzu : Excuse me whilst I unclog my digestive outlet vent. This prior experience may give him a tactical advantage however, since he has some idea of where its vulnerabilities may be. Certainly it's currently busy harvesting the Archangel, but it won't be short on power, since it's unfurled superconducting cables hundreds of kilometers long, and is tapping the gas giant's ferocious magnetic field. Jak's player : *Aghast at the list of the Reclamator's various abilities* Marzu's player : I know! I looked at this and wondered what kind of piece of **** are *we* flying around in? The subsequent battle is surprisingly one-sided, despite the Emperor's Vow proving incapable of hitting anything smaller than a nearby moon. Jak : What are they *doing* over there? I picture a gang of morons flailing their arms and running into things."Hello, Mister Gumbyyyyy!" GM : "Hello! My brain hurts!" Jak : And they've just managed to suck the loading crew into the launch tube, instead of the shell. And there's Scruffy, pushing his broom and going "Hmm. Gonna have to clean that up." The Vow does manage to hit the Reclamator once in the exchange - and achieves nothing at all ( four ones! ) GM : They really are firing their own crew instead of shells. Jak : *strikes Superman flight pose* Hgngn! For duh Emperor! Marzu OOC : *leans out porthole* Fly closer! I want to hit it with my sword! Marzu flexing his cogitators and assuming control of the Reclamator's torpedoes and turning them against their own ship helps. Although there are certainly some fraught moments. GM : Two of the smaller limbs on the Reclamator are turning to point at your ships... and FLASH. Every auspex on that side of the ship whites out. A fraction of a second later, half the airlocks have welded themselves shut with arc discharge, the machine spirits for every sensor on the hull are screaming at you... and your void shield generators just burned out. Marzu consults with his opposite number on the Vow. Magos Lensiac : Greetings in the name of the Omnissiah, brother. I anticipate your enquiry - we, too, have just been struck by an electromagnetic pulse of approximately twelve hundred and eighty gigajoules... I am receiving reports from my Void Shield adepts... excuse me, Brother Marzu, I must continue this exchange of data later. A Situation has arisen. That's because the Reclamator has followed up the EMP by teleporting hundreds of Murder Servitors into both ships. Jak is down in the laser battery, bossing the ratings around, when they become aware of this. GM : There's a pattering noise, very like hot tropical rain on a rooftop back on Myen-Fio, or hail falling into a lake. Jak : You don't have to piss yourself yet, people. GM : The noise is getting louder.Glancing back down the long corridor leading to the rest of the ship, you see the lights at the far end go out. And then the next closer do... and the next... Jak : I switch on my suits low-vision camera GM : Swarming down the corridor, and the walls, and the ceiling, is a mass of combat servitors, human arms and legs replaced with a profusion of long, multi-jointed limbs... Jak : Close the door! Close the ****ing door!!!! Elsewhere, Primarus psyker Xanthis Raytheon is warming up his unnatural abilities as he waits for more of the same. Side effects include ghastly odors that permeate even void suits. Xanthis : Whoops, farted in my spacesuit. Argh! GM : The first wave of murder servitors comes around the corner in a wall of twitching, skull-faced metal. Xanthis : I don't think that was *just* a fart. However, he does fry the first few with a wall of psychoelectricity. Xanthis' player: *rolls dice* I hit on everything there... Jak's player : Hit *on*? Marzu's player : Are you some kind of robosexual? GM : The electrical discharge leaps down the corridor, arcing off every bulkhead and rivet, until it reaches the first rank of servitors, filling the intersection with acting tendrils of lightning, setting flesh on fire and welding metal. Adrik : They're doing The Dance of the Electric Cockroach Jak OOC : *sings* THUNDERSTRUCK!!! All : *pose as costumed servitors thrashing it out on guitar* Alas, the surviving cyborgs open fire. GM : You and some of the rating manage to dive into cover, but some of you aren't so fast. They are hosed down with fire, but instead of the spray of blood and bodyparts you were expecting, they go 'What?' and start patting themselves down, where long needle-like darts are protruding from their armour. Roughly a second and a half later, they go into violent convulsions. Adrik : Now they're doing The Dance of the Electric Cockroach too The servitors are just as dangerous in hand-to-hand, what with the way all four wrists hinge back to reveal hollow steel spikes, but again, Xanthis' powers are sufficient to deal with the problem, and raise superstitious terror in the crewmen fighting alongside you. GM : Your first strike severs the neck, and the second punches right through its chest and rips out its heart. You stand there, muscles flexed, its oil pump still clutched in your fist. Which now catches bursts into flame. HRARGHHH! *poses heroically* The crewmen, however, is staring at you with a horrified expression and looks like he can't decide whether to shoot you or the servitors. *shoots the servitor to no effect, cries* 'I should have shot him, he's got less armour!' GM : After you've killed the last servitor, there's only you and one of the ratings left. Xanthis : I kill him. GM : ... why? Xanthis : I don't want bad rumours about me to worry the crew. GM : You don't want to disturb the crew.... so you kill them instead Adrik and Malakai, however, teleport over to the Emperor's Vow with a squad of stormtroopers, to assist against the murder servitors storming their bridge. Eventually, the two ships not only manage to deal with the boarding actions, but they force the Reclamator to flee into the Warp, severely damaged. Marzu and the others want to borrow Harlvesk's Navigator, and pursue the enemy to where-ever they've fled. More comedic advantage is made of the Lord-Captain's absence. GM : He's slept through the whole thing, apart from bellowing "What's all that noise out there? Keep it down, I'm trying to sleep!" Jak as van Baroque : *snuggled up to pillow* 'I love you Ork-skin blankey' I do, however, ring his player. He orders the crew to merely follow them, map the location, and get the hell out and call in the Navy. Under no circumstances are they to engage, especially given what has happened to other ships that pursued the Reclamator. These orders are promptly ignored. Tech-Priest Marzu : I'm sorry, Lord-Captain, but it would appear the attack has damaged the communications system. And the door to your cabin. The system the Reclamator has fled to is indeed swarming with enemy ships, but none close enough to save their crippled compatriot before the Rose Tattoo finishes punching it full of holes. Indeed, Marzu and the others have time to teleport over in attempt to find and kill the enemy captain, but even though they find a mannequin stuffed with a plasma bomb instead, escape before it goes off. The Rose Tattoo embark for the nearest Battlefleet outpost - not only have they found a Logician nest, the planet is itself a valuable discovery. Lord-Captain van Baroque is not impressed, and is understandably inclined to throw the other PCs out the airlock. If they want a planet of their own so much, they can walk there. The trip through the Warp is much smoother than anything they endured under their previous Navigator, which is nice. And everybody ( apart from the Lord-Captain, and the relatives of the troops sent to board the Reclamator ) is in high spirits. Jak and Adrik escort Xanthis back to his isolated quarters on one of the lower hab-decks before he can disturb any more crew. GM : Xanthis & Adric - you two are suddenly overwhelmed by a vision - a dark void, but one that as your perception adjusts is broken by faint red stars, pulsing feebly, and strands of darker red that you can somehow urge into new patterns. Beyond your immediate surrounds are thousands of red and distant stars, very like the ones to hand. But your field of vision shifts, bringing into view two much brighter stars, trailing fire like comets. One is a flickering actinic blue-white, the other a lambent golden glow somehow more painful to look upon. They rush towards you, or you to them - it's difficult to judge. Then you're both back in the corridor. Xanthis : ... the hell? Did you just - GM: Something hits the bulkhead six inches from your ear, hard enough to deform the plasteel. Then again, and again, as rivets and metal scream in protest. And you're all overwhelmed with gut-wrenching nausea at the sensation of something *unnatural* far too close to hand. Jak, wisely, retreats at speed, while Adrik calls up Marzu to let him know that a demon has somehow got aboard. The four cautiously investigate, and find the cabin on the far side of that wall a place of charnel horror - the three families that bunked there methodically immobilised, and vivisected, blood and organs laid out in eye-twisting runes on every surface. There's a dead mutant too - extremely dead, almost liquescent - and a open wall hatch they suspect leads to one of the abandoned sections of the Rose Tattoo's structure. GM : Are you going to inform the Captain? Adrik : That the hull mutants are in league with demons? Nah, he has enough problems. GM : The same hull mutants that I've been saying for months now have been in surprisingly low number? Adrik : .... fuck. The four crawl through the miles of ducting in pursuit - no point panicking the crew just yet - to locate which of the Black Holds if may be hiding in. That the Rose Tattoo even has such areas is not that surprising - even a conservative calculation suggests it has over 3000 kilometres of corridor - but eventually they emerge in a long abandoned compartment some fifty stories high, criss-crossed with rusting walkways, balconies, and slack cables strung like lianas across the dank and noxious darkness. And they're not alone. Hanging in mid-air, some 30 feet up, is the figure of a ten-year-old girl, eyes burning with sick yellow-green flame. She looks down at them, tilting her head to one side with a ghastly grin, and purrs "Playyyy?" ( After-game notes : I made a few fatal errors this session, mostly not using to Reclamator to best advantage. Also, Ian of course knew all the Reclamator's weaknesses, and knew the rules far better than me. Plus, it now looks like they want to get involved in a full-scale planetary assault, so I have a lot of work as a GM ahead of me to try and flesh out what was supposed to be a one-off encounter...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted September 21, 2011 Report Share Posted September 21, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The Rose Tattoo' date=' currently laid up in orbit around Lucin's Breath, is roused to action by a frantic distress call from the scoopship [i']Archangel[/i], harvesting deuterium from a gas giant closer to the star - they're being taken apart by something much larger than themselves. Lord-Captain van Baroque is in no state to command, having over-imbibed on amasec and anecdote, but Tech-Priest Casu Marzu is happy to assume control. After all, in his opinion the ship rightfully belongs to the Priesthood of Mars anyway, and the Lord-Captain is just one of those inconvenient meatbags you have to work around sometimes. Tech-Priest Marzu : Go to Red Alert! You! Change the light-bulb! Lord-Captain Harlvesk of the Emperor's Vow can evidently hold his liquor better, and the two ships lead the rush to assist. After all, the Koronus Expanse may be relatively lawless, but there is a standing bounty on pirates, and the authorities don't much mind what you do to the pirates themselves afterwards. Tech-Priest Marzu advises Lord-Captain Harlvesk to stay in position with the Rose Tattoo. Arriving ahead of any support may be unwise. Considering what happened with the Rose Tattoo a few weeks earlier, somebody on the Vow's bridge finds this advice risible, before being politely cut off. Since the gas giant in question orbits a star busy turning itself into a planetary nebula ( one of the reasons it's so enriched in deuterium in the first place ) the radiation belts around it are unbelievably hellish, so it is not until they can see the Archangel and its attacker, crouched like a ghastly spider silhouetted against the cloud-tops that they can even tell what they're up against. GM : The main hull is standard Imperial, as far as you can tell. But the part of it that horrifies your Tech-Priest soul are the almost insectile limbs grafted onto the superstructure... Marzu's player : *alarmed* Are some of those limbs claws? GM : *nods happily* Marzu's player : You ****er. You unbelievable ****, ****, **********, etc. GM : You roll up a random ship, and gloat about how awesome and unbeatable it is, and you honestly believe I'm *not* going to use it against you? Hand over the data-sheet, I haven't familiarized myself completely with your design. Marzu's player : That's why I didn't give it to you before, ********* The enemy ship is known to the Tech-Priests and the Imperial Navy as the Reclamator, and it has a long history of carving up other spacecraft all over the Calixis Sector and the Expanse, and harvesting the crews for conversion into servitors. Marzu's player : Reclamator?!? That's what I was going to call it!! *froths* It's believed to be a creation of the hereteks known as the Logicians, the same group behind the Meritech Corporation and cause of the war that earned van Baroque's grandfather his title. The Tech-Priests of the Lathe system have a reward for its destruction - freehold on one of an assortment of recently surveyed worlds. Casu Marzu is even more familiar it, since he was one of the few survivors of another attack by it, decades ago. GM : There's a strange sort of strangled noise coming over Marzu's vox-channel, before a list previous known attacks starts scrolling up on all your holo-screens. It's a long list, even before you get to the section on *suspected* attacks. Xanthis : I think I should have stayed back on the space station... Tech-Priest Marzu : Excuse me whilst I unclog my digestive outlet vent. This prior experience may give him a tactical advantage however, since he has some idea of where its vulnerabilities may be. Certainly it's currently busy harvesting the Archangel, but it won't be short on power, since it's unfurled superconducting cables hundreds of kilometers long, and is tapping the gas giant's ferocious magnetic field. Jak's player : *Aghast at the list of the Reclamator's various abilities* Marzu's player : I know! I looked at this and wondered what kind of piece of **** are *we* flying around in? The subsequent battle is surprisingly one-sided, despite the Emperor's Vow proving incapable of hitting anything smaller than a nearby moon. Jak : What are they *doing* over there? I picture a gang of morons flailing their arms and running into things."Hello, Mister Gumbyyyyy!" GM : "Hello! My brain hurts!" Jak : And they've just managed to suck the loading crew into the launch tube, instead of the shell. And there's Scruffy, pushing his broom and going "Hmm. Gonna have to clean that up." The Vow does manage to hit the Reclamator once in the exchange - and achieves nothing at all ( four ones! ) GM : They really are firing their own crew instead of shells. Jak : *strikes Superman flight pose* Hgngn! For duh Emperor! Marzu OOC : *leans out porthole* Fly closer! I want to hit it with my sword! Marzu flexing his cogitators and assuming control of the Reclamator's torpedoes and turning them against their own ship helps. Although there are certainly some fraught moments. GM : Two of the smaller limbs on the Reclamator are turning to point at your ships... and FLASH. Every auspex on that side of the ship whites out. A fraction of a second later, half the airlocks have welded themselves shut with arc discharge, the machine spirits for every sensor on the hull are screaming at you... and your void shield generators just burned out. Marzu consults with his opposite number on the Vow. Magos Lensiac : Greetings in the name of the Omnissiah, brother. I anticipate your enquiry - we, too, have just been struck by an electromagnetic pulse of approximately twelve hundred and eighty gigajoules... I am receiving reports from my Void Shield adepts... excuse me, Brother Marzu, I must continue this exchange of data later. A Situation has arisen. That's because the Reclamator has followed up the EMP by teleporting hundreds of Murder Servitors into both ships. Jak is down in the laser battery, bossing the ratings around, when they become aware of this. GM : There's a pattering noise, very like hot tropical rain on a rooftop back on Myen-Fio, or hail falling into a lake. Jak : You don't have to piss yourself yet, people. GM : The noise is getting louder.Glancing back down the long corridor leading to the rest of the ship, you see the lights at the far end go out. And then the next closer do... and the next... Jak : I switch on my suits low-vision camera GM : Swarming down the corridor, and the walls, and the ceiling, is a mass of combat servitors, human arms and legs replaced with a profusion of long, multi-jointed limbs... Jak : Close the door! Close the ****ing door!!!! Elsewhere, Primarus psyker Xanthis Raytheon is warming up his unnatural abilities as he waits for more of the same. Side effects include ghastly odors that permeate even void suits. Xanthis : Whoops, farted in my spacesuit. Argh! GM : The first wave of murder servitors comes around the corner in a wall of twitching, skull-faced metal. Xanthis : I don't think that was *just* a fart. However, he does fry the first few with a wall of psychoelectricity. Xanthis' player: *rolls dice* I hit on everything there... Jak's player : Hit *on*? Marzu's player : Are you some kind of robosexual? GM : The electrical discharge leaps down the corridor, arcing off every bulkhead and rivet, until it reaches the first rank of servitors, filling the intersection with acting tendrils of lightning, setting flesh on fire and welding metal. Adrik : They're doing The Dance of the Electric Cockroach Jak OOC : *sings* THUNDERSTRUCK!!! All : *pose as costumed servitors thrashing it out on guitar* Alas, the surviving cyborgs open fire. GM : You and some of the rating manage to dive into cover, but some of you aren't so fast. They are hosed down with fire, but instead of the spray of blood and bodyparts you were expecting, they go 'What?' and start patting themselves down, where long needle-like darts are protruding from their armour. Roughly a second and a half later, they go into violent convulsions. Adrik : Now they're doing The Dance of the Electric Cockroach too The servitors are just as dangerous in hand-to-hand, what with the way all four wrists hinge back to reveal hollow steel spikes, but again, Xanthis' powers are sufficient to deal with the problem, and raise superstitious terror in the crewmen fighting alongside you. GM : Your first strike severs the neck, and the second punches right through its chest and rips out its heart. You stand there, muscles flexed, its oil pump still clutched in your fist. Which now catches bursts into flame. HRARGHHH! *poses heroically* The crewmen, however, is staring at you with a horrified expression and looks like he can't decide whether to shoot you or the servitors. *shoots the servitor to no effect, cries* 'I should have shot him, he's got less armour!' GM : After you've killed the last servitor, there's only you and one of the ratings left. Xanthis : I kill him. GM : ... why? Xanthis : I don't want bad rumours about me to worry the crew. GM : You don't want to disturb the crew.... so you kill them instead Adrik and Malakai, however, teleport over to the Emperor's Vow with a squad of stormtroopers, to assist against the murder servitors storming their bridge. Eventually, the two ships not only manage to deal with the boarding actions, but they force the Reclamator to flee into the Warp, severely damaged. Marzu and the others want to borrow Harlvesk's Navigator, and pursue the enemy to where-ever they've fled. More comedic advantage is made of the Lord-Captain's absence. GM : He's slept through the whole thing, apart from bellowing "What's all that noise out there? Keep it down, I'm trying to sleep!" Jak as van Baroque : *snuggled up to pillow* 'I love you Ork-skin blankey' I do, however, ring his player. He orders the crew to merely follow them, map the location, and get the hell out and call in the Navy. Under no circumstances are they to engage, especially given what has happened to other ships that pursued the Reclamator. These orders are promptly ignored. Tech-Priest Marzu : I'm sorry, Lord-Captain, but it would appear the attack has damaged the communications system. And the door to your cabin. The system the Reclamator has fled to is indeed swarming with enemy ships, but none close enough to save their crippled compatriot before the Rose Tattoo finishes punching it full of holes. Indeed, Marzu and the others have time to teleport over in attempt to find and kill the enemy captain, but even though they find a mannequin stuffed with a plasma bomb instead, escape before it goes off. The Rose Tattoo embark for the nearest Battlefleet outpost - not only have they found a Logician nest, the planet is itself a valuable discovery. Lord-Captain van Baroque is not impressed, and is understandably inclined to throw the other PCs out the airlock. If they want a planet of their own so much, they can walk there. The trip through the Warp is much smoother than anything they endured under their previous Navigator, which is nice. And everybody ( apart from the Lord-Captain, and the relatives of the troops sent to board the Reclamator ) is in high spirits. Jak and Adrik escort Xanthis back to his isolated quarters on one of the lower hab-decks before he can disturb any more crew. GM : Xanthis & Adric - you two are suddenly overwhelmed by a vision - a dark void, but one that as your perception adjusts is broken by faint red stars, pulsing feebly, and strands of darker red that you can somehow urge into new patterns. Beyond your immediate surrounds are thousands of red and distant stars, very like the ones to hand. But your field of vision shifts, bringing into view two much brighter stars, trailing fire like comets. One is a flickering actinic blue-white, the other a lambent golden glow somehow more painful to look upon. They rush towards you, or you to them - it's difficult to judge. Then you're both back in the corridor. Xanthis : ... the hell? Did you just - GM: Something hits the bulkhead six inches from your ear, hard enough to deform the plasteel. Then again, and again, as rivets and metal scream in protest. And you're all overwhelmed with gut-wrenching nausea at the sensation of something *unnatural* far too close to hand. Jak, wisely, retreats at speed, while Adrik calls up Marzu to let him know that a demon has somehow got aboard. The four cautiously investigate, and find the cabin on the far side of that wall a place of charnel horror - the three families that bunked there methodically immobilised, and vivisected, blood and organs laid out in eye-twisting runes on every surface. There's a dead mutant too - extremely dead, almost liquescent - and a open wall hatch they suspect leads to one of the abandoned sections of the Rose Tattoo's structure. GM : Are you going to inform the Captain? Adrik : That the hull mutants are in league with demons? Nah, he has enough problems. GM : The same hull mutants that I've been saying for months now have been in surprisingly low number? Adrik : .... fuck. The four crawl through the miles of ducting in pursuit - no point panicking the crew just yet - to locate which of the Black Holds if may be hiding in. That the Rose Tattoo even has such areas is not that surprising - even a conservative calculation suggests it has over 3000 kilometres of corridor - but eventually they emerge in a long abandoned compartment some fifty stories high, criss-crossed with rusting walkways, balconies, and slack cables strung like lianas across the dank and noxious darkness. And they're not alone. Hanging in mid-air, some 30 feet up, is the figure of a ten-year-old girl, eyes burning with sick yellow-green flame. She looks down at them, tilting her head to one side with a ghastly grin, and purrs "Playyyy?" ( After-game notes : I made a few fatal errors this session, mostly not using to Reclamator to best advantage. Also, Ian of course knew all the Reclamator's weaknesses, and knew the rules far better than me. Plus, it now looks like they want to get involved in a full-scale planetary assault, so I have a lot of work as a GM ahead of me to try and flesh out what was supposed to be a one-off encounter...) Oh, **** ()...you've finally done it. You've finally managed to break the dementometer. Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted September 22, 2011 Report Share Posted September 22, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... from another GM, regarding the Rogue Trader quotes. Myrystyr : ...exactly which television series' theme music should I play in my head while reading these - Blake's 7, Red Dwarf, or Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? Me: all three at once, with a percussion line of me bouncing my head on the table Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Mackinder Posted September 22, 2011 Report Share Posted September 22, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... from another GM, regarding the Rogue Trader quotes. Myrystyr : ...exactly which television series' theme music should I play in my head while reading these - Blake's 7, Red Dwarf, or Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? Me: all three at once, with a percussion line of me bouncing my head on the table Ayup, that sounds about right. Yet again, rep ya if I could. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evil Steve Posted September 22, 2011 Report Share Posted September 22, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From my Serenity campaign, post bar-brawl "I'm going to have a one-nippled man chasing me for the rest of my life." Purple nurples, nipple piercings and great dice rolls are not the friends of NPCs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted September 25, 2011 Report Share Posted September 25, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Rondale & Einstein investigate the spate of grave-robberies around New England, partly for the money, partly as a favour to a friend, but mostly to quash their fear that McGinty is somehow involved. Spoilers for Kevin Ross' 'Dust to Dust' from Dead Reckonings, and Fred Behrendt's 'Mansion of Madness' from Mansions of Madness. Just the two players this session, but it did give me an opportunity for an investigation-heavy session as an introduction for the new player. Even if they did forget who they were playing. GM : Professor Einstein is there too. Prof. Einstein's player : Einstein? Oh, right, me. 'Hammer' Dragovic, PI : *nervously* Er... you know Mr McGinty, don't you Mr. Rondale? 'Cause I've been hired to look into this grave-robbing thing... and I need to know... it wasn't him, was it? They of course have reason to wonder - McGinty IS slightly infamous with the rest of the party for his necromantic enthusiasms, and he has Al now to help with the heavy lifting. On the other hand, they only found discarded cigarettes at the Clark's Corners site - surely, if McGinty was involved, there'd be a small heap of discarded whiskey bottles. Rondale & Einstein visit every town between Boston and Gloucester, interviewing relatives, leaving business cards, and so on, in their search for some pattern in this senseless desecration of graves. Certainly, other mysteries are discovered - curiously unfruitful graves in Kingsport, and the cyclopean sea monster that was dragged to shore at Martin's Beach - but nothing relevant to their investigation. Rondale is particularly annoyed that the critter wasn't the Deep One god he machine-gunned in Innsmouth. Rondale : Damn, no confirmation of the kill. Whilst in Martin's Beach, Rondale also takes the opportunity to follow up the Garsetti/Crater case, declaring a stop at the abandoned Crater Mansion as unfinished business. Just as well he did climb over the fence and revisit the site, since some of its previous inhabitants were still in residence. At least now Professor Einstein might take his warnings about the dangers of such investigations seriously, even if giant bug-men aren't her field of scientific expertise. The only clue in the resort town - at least, clue potentially relevant to the current investigation - are reports of a crippled and evidently deranged hobo who may have witnessed the exhumation, but he proves difficult to locate. GM : He's probably off fighting raccoons for scraps somewhere All : *sing Star Trek fight music* Rondale : Well, back to Arkham. I'd better let McGinty know we have unfinished business to deal with. GM : Yes, you've found another mansion for him to burn down. Rondale : I'll add it to the list by the phone. GM : 1 - Get Milk. 2 - Burn Down Mansion. Irritatingly, if they'd stayed at Martin's Beach a few more hours they might well have caught the grave-robbers in the act of a second desecration at the seaside graveyard. If McGinty had been there, it almost seems a certainty, although he'd probably have just run over them by accident. Concerted effort the next day finds the sought-after one-handed man, although he proves completely useless - incoherent, ravenous, and prone of fits of anguished wailing. He is shipped off to one of the asylums McGinty favours, for treatment and sedation. Nor the husband or father of the latest victim prove immediately helpful - the former is drunk, and the other can only offer his grief and the promise of $1000 for their assistance. He does have good whiskey though, and Deborah is annoyed to miss out on more than a few glasses. Rondale : If you're that desperate for more booze come back to McGinty's place. We must have 1400 bottles of the stuff there. GM : But that was this morning. McGinty may have drunk most of that by now. The swing past the Massachusetts State Hospital for the Insane - a.k.a. The Clue Factory - to see whether the resident alienists have gotten anything coherent out of the one-handed hobo. They haven't, since he escaped a few hours earlier. Rondale is annoyed, given the amount of money they've donated to the care and feeding of deranged Lovecraftian narrators over the years. Rondale : For fucks sake, what do we pay you people for? The resident doctors and orderlies are embarrassed, but also extremely surprised - given the patients staggeringly slow heartbeat, respiration, and body temperature, they're amazed he was even standing. Rondale suddenly realises where he's heard those symptoms before, and why the hobo's curious dermatological symptoms seemed familiar. He drags Prof. Einstein out of the asylum and as they leave he starts to explain a few home truths to the astrophysicist. Rondale : There's some things you need to know... Magic is real. Prof. Einstein : I think we just left the appropriate place for you. Rondale OOC : *sings* When there's something weird, in the neighborhood, who you gonna call? GM : DRUNK BASTARDS Despite being dragged off to meet two of the victims of McGinty's magical experimentation - although Rondale still hopes that McGinty is NOT responsible for this latest string of atrocities, or the Zombies Playing Poker previously - Deborah doesn't believe that magical resurrection is possible. This, even after her encounter at the Crater Mansion. She doesn't see any dichotomy. Prof. Einstein : There's nothing inherently ridiculous about giant bug-men... Disturbingly, the other victims regard Deborah with pity for her skepticism, not the annoyance she was expecting. Either way, it's too late to patrol the roads around Danvers looking for an escaped lunatic. But Rondale is woken at 4AM by a strange phone call. A male voice, evidently confused, and trying to find somebody named Eric. But they don't know his number, who who Rondale is, or even where they are now. They do gasp something about "A house by the sea", before a shout and words in a language Rondale doesn't recognise cut the voice off abruptly, and the line goes dead. Rondale calls up the others - the game is afoot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragitsu Posted September 27, 2011 Report Share Posted September 27, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "What is the internet? The internet is looking up fly-fishing and ending up on an obscure German porn site" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted September 28, 2011 Report Share Posted September 28, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... 4th edition DnD continues Andraste the Pyromaniac, Eladrin Warlock Theren the Archer, Elven Ranger Adinymus the Holy, Drow Cleric Sepheris the Creepy, Shadow-Elf Thief Goguin the Faithful, Dwarven Cleric Bearn the Mental, Dwarven Battlemind We meet Bearn... Sepheris: He's talking to us. Andinymus: And not attacking us. Therin: That's a plus. Andraste deals with a enemy... Andinymus: They're both cackling. Andraste with glee. The ghoul's on fire. OOC... She's attempting to wack off the dwarf. On the table, there's a brain in a jar... Bearn: They saved Hitler's Brain. The brain avoids a attack... Goguin: It's a brain in a jar, how agile can it be? Adinymus: What kind of armor class is a glass jar? Therin: How do you miss a brain in a jar? Andraste deals with the brain... Andraste: Five points ongoing fire damage. I'll boil his water. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragitsu Posted October 1, 2011 Report Share Posted October 1, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "Well, it sounded good in my head" "Echoes usually do" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manic Typist Posted October 4, 2011 Report Share Posted October 4, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Pathfinder game, my 2nd level wizard and a 2nd level gnome cleric are investigating some ominous chanting sounds under a blacksmith's shop in the middle of a city under siege. Gnome PC: "Would you care to take point?" Me (having just met this gnome 5 minutes ago): "First Law of Wizardry: Never take point." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted October 4, 2011 Report Share Posted October 4, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From my Serenity campaign, post bar-brawl "I'm going to have a one-nippled man chasing me for the rest of my life." Purple nurples, nipple piercings and great dice rolls are not the friends of NPCs. The character's last name of the player who said that wasn't Kimble, by any chance? Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSgt Baloo Posted October 5, 2011 Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I recall playing in someone else's Star Wars campaigh in 1980, using Traveller rules because we didn't have anything better. At one point I was getting bored and made the mistake of channeling Yoda, saying: "How you get so big eating crap like this?" This incapacitated the GM for nearly a minute. Afterwards, I was stuck with voicing the Little Green Jedi Toad™ whenever he showed up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted October 5, 2011 Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I recall playing in someone else's Star Wars campaigh in 1980' date=' using Traveller rules because we didn't have anything better. At one point I was getting bored and made the mistake of channeling Yoda, saying: [b']"How you get so big eating crap like this?"[/b] This incapacitated the GM for nearly a minute. Afterwards, I was stuck with voicing the Little Green Jedi Toad™ whenever he showed up. I think that, had you been truly and fully channeling Yoda, the proper way to say that would have been "How get you so big eating crap like this?". Still funny as hell, though. Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John T Posted October 5, 2011 Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I think that, had you been truly and fully channeling Yoda, the proper way to say that would have been "How get you so big eating crap like this?". Shouldn't that be "How you get so big eating crap of this kind?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted October 5, 2011 Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... How so big you get, crap of this kind eating? Lucius Alexander The palindromedary sings Weird Al's "Yoda" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSgt Baloo Posted October 5, 2011 Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Picky, picky, picky! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSgt Baloo Posted October 5, 2011 Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I think that, had you been truly and fully channeling Yoda, the proper way to say that would have been "How get you so big eating crap like this?". Still funny as hell, though. Major Tom 2009 Shouldn't that be "How you get so big eating crap of this kind?" How so big you get, crap of this kind eating? Lucius Alexander The palindromedary sings Weird Al's "Yoda" Picky, picky, picky! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh Neilson Posted October 6, 2011 Report Share Posted October 6, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Picky' date=' picky, picky![/quote'] If picky you are, big eating this crap you will not get! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted October 7, 2011 Report Share Posted October 7, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... For fans of Quicksilver Ali and Achmed the Agile - I haven't been posting quotes from our Trin Dar game, but I decided to rectify that. So this is probably going to be a long “catch up” post..... I wrote up Ali and played him for one session with Achmed as background material – they'd been separated and Ali's motivation was to find his older brother. Ali finds himself among some captives being held by an evil cult for sacrifice. When the other player characters attack, he takes the opportunity to escape (the cages were not very secure.) A helpless maiden is already bound to the altar. The scene is a cavern facing the sea; there is an altar set up towards the center of the open space, and off in a corner of the cave is a tent. Before the altar, between it and the opening where the other player characters are coming in, is a large group of armed fanatical cultists. Now, I've played with the guy running this game enough to recognize some patterns. If there's a cave, and in the cave is a tent, then inside the tent will be one or more females, and these females will be important. I'm thinking either more special sacrifices or some princess held for ransom or something. But there's a victim on the altar right now that needs saving, so Ali tries to rally the captives to rush the two priests by the altar and save the sacrifice. Unfortunately, they're too cowed to do anything but mill around. So Ali tries sneaking along the back of the cave to possibly set up a backstab attack. Unfortunately, one of the priests sees him zaps him with some spell, reducing his hit points to 1 So on his next move, Ali runs into the tent. Right into the arms of what looks like a beautiful woman. Unfortunately, she snatches up a dagger as he's coming in, and this time, the important female in the pavilion in the cavern (did I just hear someone paging Dr. Freud?) is not so innocent. Did I mention how many hit points Ali had left? Before the end of the combat (which Ali did not survive to see) Ali's killer has revealed herself as something foul and inhuman (everyone gets the impression of undead) and is either driven off or destroyed by the combined magical assault of the party spellcasters. Obviously I had not MEANT to perish so quickly, but as it happened I had established that the character had a brother, so I was allowed to use the same sheet – even adding the experience Ali would have gained if he lived – and call him Achmed the Agile. We retconned him as being in the scene but too injured to participate, so he witnessed his brother's “Noble heroic death trying to save helpless captives from that foul enchantress!” The other players had mocked Ali for being ineffective and dying so soon, so I decided Achmed would see his beloved brother as the shining hero of the action and that nothing could sway him from that. Besides, I reasoned, he'd have a bad case of survivor's guilt because he'd always been able to protect his little brother before and thought that he always would. Naturally he also feels a debt to the party of adventurers who avenged his brother, not to mention an obligation to live up to his courageous example. And thereby hangs the tale.... The first time Achmed gets access to a large temple's library, he starts to study up on undead monstrosities and questioning scholars, and learns that the entity that killed Ali is (most likely) a Sea Hag, and thus a minion of Sepherin, the God of death and the undead (logical in that the cave temple faced the ocean, and Sepherin is strongly associated with the sea as well.) Every time the party enters a new city, Achmed seeks out popular bards, regales them with the tale of Ali's heroic death, and commissions a new song about it. When he hears performers on the street singing any version of these songs, he rewards them. I intend that the party will not be able to go anywhere without hearing about what a hero Ali was. After this initial adventure, Cat stepped into running the game and CJ is now running a Sahaylin Summoner. What's the difference between a Sahaylin Summoner and an Elven Wizard? You play one in Trin 'Dar and the other in D&D. It has become obvious we are eventually going to the Defiled Lands, the realm of Pelnor. Pelnor was a summoner who cast the greatest single spell ever cast by a mortal, one that weakened even Sepherin and claimed for Pelnor a fraction of Sepherin's immortality (even a fraction of an infinite lifespan is still infinite) and made Pelnor master of a region from which Sepherin the Death God was expelled. In the Defiled Lands, nothing stays dead forever. Tribes living in or near these lands practice cremation as a matter of necessity, lest their dead rise against them. What Pelnor hadn't counted on was that the rite bound him to these Defiled Lands and he can't leave. Which means it's obviously in his interest to expand the Defilement when and where he can..... After a series of wilderness adventures in which he was comic relief (“Is this edible?” asked of mushrooms, leaves, dead monsters, stones....) Achmed finally came into his own while the group was investigating a series of gruesome murders in a major city. The corpse of an athlete had been found missing legs, that of a singer missing his tongue, an artist missing hands, etc. While the other player characters conferred with high priests and captains of the watch and other important people, Achmed slipped away to the slums to find out what was being said by the kind of people who might not talk to guardsmen or priests. Achmed: I will win the trust of thieves and scoundrels by pretending to be of them. His investigations led him to the city's labyrinthine sewers, where he got to the mutilated corpse of the latest victim ahead of Landir (CJ's character) who had followed a separate trail of clues to the same location. Landir: Achmed! What are you doing in the sewer? Achmed: This is where the action is. Achmed notices what appears to be new excavation/construction, and deduces the existence of a secret passage. He tries to discover how to open it. Cat: Do you have the Traps skill? Achmed OOC: As a matter of fact I do. (I had JUST added it with experience, noticing it was missing and Achmed should have it.) (Apparently Traps is the skill used for all kinds of mechanical things, such as working concealed doors. I hadn't known that.) Beyond the door is a passage leading to an ill lit chamber where a necromancer, accompanied by a single living guard and a number of zombies, is chanting a lengthy incantation over some kind of altar or workbench. Meanwhile, the rest of the heroes, having followed still another line of investigation, are closing in from a different direction. In the ensuing encounter Achmed enacts one of his standard tactics, to run into the middle of the enemy and go on full defense. The other players had been confused by this tendency to aggressively charge forward and then start ducking and doging, but by this time they were starting to notice that 1. Achmed usually avoids being hit, and 2. he keeps a lot of bad guys busy trying to hit him. Achmed: What's on the altar? (After a failed roll) Cat: You can't tell, it's dark in here. Achmed: I run forward and leap onto the altar and go onto full defense. I want to spoil whatever ritual is going on so whatever that stuff is on the altar I'm going to start kicking it off. Cat: Now you can see where the missing pieces of those bodies went. Landir and the summoner we interrupted trade fireballs, but each is too much a master of fire magic for the other to overcome. Fortunately, Landir has studied other elements too. Landir: Waterpunch. A couple of rolls later Cat: Your jet of water knocks him down and washes him across the floor to this door. Landir: You're all washed up. Democulus, while rising to his feet: You're good, but not in my league yet. When you feel ready, look for me just outside the Defiled Lands. Remember the name: Democulus. Naturally, he escaped. From the clues in the ceremonial chamber, intelligence from the follower we captured, etc. it seems this Democulus is planning to do to Pelnor what Pelnor did to Sepherin; seize mastery of the Defiled Lands, and along with it immortality and a share of divine power. Achmed: That's ALL this world needs. Another power mad wannabe God. Achmed noted that SOMEONE had to have helped construct and conceal that chamber – summoners aren't known for doing their own manual labor, not on that scale. He started trying to track down the contractor who would be willing to go into the tunnels beneath the city, wall off some passages to create a secret area, and then keep their mouth shut afterward. He had to abandon those inquiries and turn over what he'd learned to the local authorities, however, when the group left to report to and consult with the single most powerful mortal summoner in the world of Trin'dar. We were going to see Cameron. Lucius Alexander The palindromedary says; To be continued Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BvBPL Posted October 7, 2011 Report Share Posted October 7, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Grip: "I'll grab the helmet and jerk it off." You can't make this stuff up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted October 8, 2011 Report Share Posted October 8, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... For fans of Quicksilver Ali and Achmed the Agile – Although my Ali character died, I liked the pair of them so well that I've continued to write lampoons featuring both. If I post them, though, it will be in the Trin'Dar thread, not here. Achmed and his companions take the fastest route to the city of Aristis – taking the riverboat. One of the other passengers is an incredibly beautiful woman (Magnetism 13, sort of the equivalent of 18 or maybe even 19 Charisma) and her two bodyguards. They're Human, but she appears to be Sahaylin or An Lea (mere Humans aren't allowed to be that attractive or interesting.) Any other passengers? Cat: Oh, you know. Just random people. Names? Uh, give me a minute.... I had thought the ostentatious Lady Alodar was a red herring to distract us from some other passenger who would be important, but apparently not. Nevertheless she does a fine job of distracting the players and player characters anyway, except for Achmed, who is suspicious of all attractive females (look what happened to his brother) and Tigra, a Pantheran (yes, she's exactly what you expect with a character name and race name like that) who is both a female character and played by a female player. Achmed keeps a wary eye out and keeps his distance from the other player characters and tries to sneak into Alodar's cabin to take a look, but it's always locked. Tigra strikes up a friendship with a less flashy male Sahaylin who happens to be on board. The warrior types propose, and get, a sparring contest with the bodyguards, and Landir, our Sahaylin Summoner Golden Boy, does a lot of chatting with Alodar. Her bodyguards are denigrated subtly or grossly according to the personalities of the players and characters, and the implication or outright statement made that “We (I) could protect her better from danger.” Achmed (Out of Character): Traveling with US is what would PUT her in danger in the first place.” Landir fantasizes about the ship being attacked so he can save the lovely Alodar from danger. Achmed (sarcastically): Why don't you summon a water elemental to threaten her, and pretend to drive it off? (Interactions like this are slowly eroding Achmed's superstitious dread and awe of summoners.) Of course we all know we wouldn't be playing out this river trip if something weren't scheduled to happen during it, probably something violent, so most of the players do exhibit some degree of paranoia, including standing watches alongside the crew. I think it was either Tigra or Eljin (another Sahaylin summoner, new to the group) who spotted another vessel slowly approaching in the hours before dawn. Landir, once alerted, used a farseeing spell to determine that the boat in question is bristling with warriors in chainmail, and at least one person garbed as a summoner. They're also running dark, so they are deliberately trying to be stealthy. Landir once again rises to his reputation, breaking out his bow, enchanting a single arrow to enhance range and accuracy, and using his farseeing spell to take aim at the putative spell casting pirate, taking him out in one shot – partly because he did not even know he'd been spotted and was standing still with no defensive magic up. As our captain raised the alarm and gave the command to repel boarders, Landir next joined his power to that of the other summoners in our party to cast a spell that would be beyond the power of any of them alone, evoking elemental fire upon the pirates who had barely realized they were under attack. Flame bursts out in three places; amidship, where the officers seemed to be, and simultaneously halfway from there to the stern and the bow, leaving the attackers, if alive, badly burned and aboard a burning and sinking ship. (Feats like this are why Achmed's superstitious dread and awe of summoners is eroding only slowly) Achmed, along with the warriors, had already been roused by Tigra before the general alarm, and decided to climb to the crow's nest to get a view. Before he even reaches it the pirates are in flames but he goes up to get a good view and sees the first mate – who, like the captain, is standing near Landir watching him and his allies save their ship – go down to a dagger thrown from somewhere on our own ship. At the same time a hue and cry and the clash of arms rises from stern of the boat, opposite to the pirates who just went up in flames. Looking there, Achmed sees a band of men have quietly slipped up in a small boat and boarded and are in melee with the crew. Among the fighters are Lady Alodar's bodyguards. A moment's observation confirms Achmed's suspicion (as if he needed confirmation) that they are with the boarders and against the crew. As our oversized warriors rush towards the sound of combat, Achmed is consumed with an even more critical problem. Achmed (OoC): I'm looking for the Sea Hag who threw that dagger. Cat: Sea Hag? Achmed: The Lady Alodar. Our warriors can deal with her ensorcelled minions, but I want to know where their corruptingly seductive mistress is lurking. (Achmed turned out to be correct in principle and mistaken in detail.) Our Rhogma (a half ogre) who had minored in summoning and the Gregor (a similarly oversized and combat optimized species specifically magically created to be warriors and especially guardians of summoners) go to the crew's rescue and confront the two bodyguards and the remaining pirates. Achmed finally spots her when she casts another dagger, this one obviously aimed at Landir, who is ducking and looking around for the assailant as Eljin watches the burning ship, to make sure the riverene pirates go down with all hands. Achmed draws his own dagger, hurls himself out of the crow's nest grabbing a rope to control his descent, and attempts to land right on top of Lady Alodar. Achmed: Death to the sea hag! Meanwhile the fighter types are mopping up boarders and learning that the bodyguards had held back while sparring to conceal their true skill. Nonetheless the Rhogma captures one of the bodyguards in an “air bond” spell that conjures confining bands formed of the air itself, and the other turns out to be not quite a match for the Gregor. Gemlock (The Gregor; pronounced with a hard G) interrogates their prisoner: Where is the Lady Alodar? What have you done with her? Prisoner: What have we done with her? Who do you think ordered this attack? But while they're doing this, events are unfolding at the other end of the ship. Where was I? Oh yes, Achmed: Death to the sea hag! Instead of landing atop Alodar, Achmed lands between her and her intended victim. Landir, finally seeing what Achmed has so dramatically pointed out, hits it with a lesser version of the conflagration that just sent two dozen souls to Sepherin weighted with the crime they had died intent upon. Alodar screams like a banshee, then laughs and steps forward out of the column of fast fading flame, apparently unharmed, smiling, and showing fangs for the first time. Alodar: Just kidding! Achmed rapidly adds up a series of facts. Sea Hags are not known to be fireproof. They also haunt oceans, coasts, and islands, not rivers. Stunningly beautiful women with long fangs they display only when they choose to are probably vampires. Only one known kind of vampire is comfortably active in daylight, as this one has been. Such horrors are also former Sahaylin or An Lea, as this seems to be, and are reputedly fire resistant. Achmed: That's not a sea hag! Landir: It's a Solestrin Vampire! Achmed: Tell me something I don't know! Alodar grabs at Achmed and Achmed dances away on full defense. Landir: Her touch can be deadly! Achmed: Tell me something I don't know! Like, how do we destroy it? (Remember, Achmed had been studying up on the undead and other monstrosities when he could get some library time.) Achmed darts into the shadows beside the wheel house, pausing only to turn long enough to throw his dagger ineffectively. Landir attempts to ward off Alodar the Vampire, still beautiful but now obviously evil, as she evades Tigra's claws and seeks to drain Landir's precious bodily fluids or whatever it is vampires do in Trin Dar when they catch someone. Achmed (OoC): I'm looking for rope. Cat: It's a boat, you'll find rope. As Alodar slowly drives Tigra and Landir across the deck and the rest of the party start converging on the climactic encounter, Achmed runs around the wheelhouse and makes a Stealth roll to come up unobserved behind Alodar and grab her, pinning her arms to her sides with the rope. For the next several rounds of combat Achmed does nothing but struggle to hold her as she tries to get free and trades spells and counterspells with Landir, still able to incant if not to gesture, but at least her lethal hands are restrained. When the Gregor shows up she starts taking damage at an encouraging pace. Landir finishes her off with another water spell with a very good roll just as her unnatural strength finally snaps the rope. Cat: A huge wave comes over the edge of the boat and over the deck, and when it's gone, so is she. So obviously we're meant to be in doubt as to whether the vampire was destroyed, or escaped. Achmed finally gets a chance to search the room, but not alone. Among other items we find a matching silver brush, comb, and mirror. Achmed puts the mirror on the bed. Achmed: Mirror, mirror, on the bed, is that foul vampire really dead? This is taking longer than I thought. Coming up next: Aristis, The City of Cameron Lucius Alexander Brought to you by a palindromedary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christopher Posted October 9, 2011 Report Share Posted October 9, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Achmed: Mirror' date=' mirror, on the bed, is that foul vampire really dead?[/quote'] "Yes, Achmed the agile. But the next villian that comes in the next session is way more evil anyway." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted October 9, 2011 Report Share Posted October 9, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... 4th edition DnD continues Andraste the Pyromaniac, Eladrin Warlock Theren the Archer, Elven Ranger Adinymus the Holy, Drow Cleric Sepheris the Creepy, Shadow-Elf Thief Goguin the Faithful, Dwarven Cleric Bearn the Mental, Dwarven Battlemind Alek the Evil, Human Paladin Exploring the dungeon... GM: Who's opening the door? Andraste: We've all decided to stand in the back while someone else opens the door. Monster attack! Adinymus: I'll take 'Initiative' for 22, Alek. Goguin: Sepheris looks at it funny for 25 points of damage. Theren: Who should I kill? Adinymus: All of them? Sepheris: Not one of us. Sepheris gives Theren target advice... Theren: I just killed him so you would shut up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted October 9, 2011 Report Share Posted October 9, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Part Two of Kevin Ross' 'Dust to Dust' from Dead Reckonings, and, incredibly, the session was even more insane than usual. This might be due to McGinty and Co having a film crew along, or because I picked up yet more players, or simply because the bastard players once again bypassed two thirds of the plot. Advice for anybody else running this scenario - when the mysterious phone call comes in, make sure it comes from anywhere other than the listed house, or your players will just get the information they need from the telephone operators. ( Some spoilers ahead, nonetheless ) 3 in the morning in a frigid New England October, Rondale has rung Prof. Einstein, ordered her to meet him at the former Corbitt house, and is waiting for her to arrive so they can set off to find the source of this mysterious phone call. That it somehow involves the late father of Eric Helverson seems obvious, and Rondale is equally certain that he knows where the call is coming from. Unfortunately, McGinty and Al arrive first, the latter with a particularly stoic expression, possibly because of the film crew following close behind. Apparently McGinty's campaign manager thinks exploiting the new media and producing a set of film news shorts about the candidate would be a good idea, and McGinty agrees entirely. But then, McGinty's increasing chemical dependence - or at least his desire to use up all his alcohol 'prescriptions' - seems to be particularly acute today. He fully intends to show Heinrich Schwartz and Adam Hyneman all around his various Arkham holdings. McGinty : I'll have a donkey and a cavalry lance out the front of my new mansion, and then I'll stomp out the door in my suit of armour, and we'll gallop off at the ornamental windmill. McGinty : Oooh! I know what you can film! Al's dancing nipples! Al : *twitches and grits teeth* Rondale : *hisses* McGinty, what the hell are you doing? We can't have these people around, this is an investigation! Schwartz : Will everybody please be quiet? I'm trying to work dancing nipples into the script. I'm a genius, but there are limits. Al : Sorry about this Mr. Rondale. I think Mr. McGinty had... a bad reaction to his medication. Schwartz : Hyneman! Load the cameras! Hyneman : Jawohl, mein Fuhrer! This is all quite disastrous for the investigation, and for good neighbourly relations too. For one thing, Rondale is still not completely convinced that McGinty hasn't been off Resurrecting people in his spare time. Rondale continues to berate McGinty for toying with the affections of that cute Gamwell librarian, too. Rondale : Don't you see what you've done? She's like some innocent puppy that doesn't realise its new master is a monster. McGinty : Are you calling my future fiancée a bitch? Rondale : You are not good for her, McGinty - the things you do will break her mind. McGinty : *shrugs* Her psyche is her own. And beside, I didn't start any of the problems. Rondale : You're not an instigator of horrible things, McGinty, but you're certainly an enabler. And what about the age difference? You're almost 60! She's what, 30? GM : 27. All : *whimper* McGinty : It's one of them there May-September romances. GM : April-New Year's Eve maybe... Rondale : ... how? I mean, look at you! GM : She developed an unfortunate eye condition on account of large amounts of cash. McGinty : Why are we doing this at night, anyway? GM : Well, usually doing it at night would mean fewer witnesses, but for some reason you got a film crew to come along. McGinty : You can fly a plane? Awesome! I'm going to buy myself a blimp, you can drive it. Hyneman : You should buy a Zepplin, zey are better. And forgive me if I am wrong, Herr McGinty, but do not your Navy have the only two American airships? Rondale OOC : And guess who has Navy connections! *points to self with thumbs* GM : *headdesk and cries* GM : Excuse me whilst I go fetch the Insanity Deck. Even if only for my own benefit. Schwartz : Why are we going to a lighthouse in the middle of the night, Herr McGinty? McGinty : You said you needed light to film, didn't ya? Turning up at the address at 4 in the morning achieves nothing - the resident claims no knowledge of any phone call, and by the looks of things his own dependence on alcohol hasn't been doing his health any good. Al : What? But Mr. McGinty drinks more than any man I've ever seen... GM : Yes, but then McGinty thinks alcohol is good for his health, and I'll tell you why. Once, many years ago, a travelling doctor visited his village and tried to demonstrate that alcohol was a poison. He had a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and a worm. The worm survived just fine in the water, and promptly died when moved to the whiskey. And what did McGinty conclude from this? That alcohol kills worms. McGinty : And besides, whiskey with worms isn't as good as that Mexican stuff, anyway. *swigs* But returning to Arkham and bothering the phone operators THERE at 5 in the morning confirms that the phone call came from the suspect house, so back they go again. Rondale & McGinty sneak up to the house and nose around. McGinty : You know how you two go on with the jibber-jabber in the funny language, and all? You might want to give it a miss for a few minutes. Besides, this is supposed to be a silent movie. Al keeps a watchful eye out, and Deborah and the film crew sit bored in the truck. By the time Rondale & McGinty break into the house, and are busy exploring the basement for clues, Al has fallen asleep, and Deborah, Heinrich and Adam wander up from the road to see what's going on, and stroll into the house looking for tea, and a cushion for the snoring Al. Heinrich and Adam are fascinated that a gubernatorial candidate is sneaking around somebody's house late at night, and want to know more, for blackmail purposes. Schwartz : You know, Hyneman, I think this could be a very lucrative film for the two of us... Schwartz : Herr Quinn, does your friend do things like this very often? Al : No. And he didn't do it this time. And if you ever insinuate something like that again you'll find out why they used to call me The Meteor. 'Cause there's nothing meatier around here than this *waves fist threateningly* Downstairs, Rondale and McGinty are discovering things that would an instant R-rating if they ever did appear on film, but which eventually prove to burn as well as celluloid. Admittedly, it took some help, in the form of repeated volleys of dragon's breath rounds, a carboy of sulphuric acid, and the like. Certainly the commotion leads to some excitement upstairs, where the resident tremulously demands that whoever is in his house please leave before he calls the police, and finds himself dragged downstairs, hit around the head with the butt of a shotgun, and answers regarding the contents of his basement demanded. These are not forthcoming. Despite the remains in the basement no longer being in any recognizable state, and the complete lack of anything more than circumstantial evidence to convict him, or even to take the actual graverobbers into custody, McGinty and company congratulate themselves for apprehending a sick, graverobbing lunatic who has been rendering people down to ashes in his furnace and bottling the remains. Massachussetts is duly grateful that the streets are safe from such deranged and morbidly demented individuals. That sorted, McGinty gathers up the villains's shelf-full of dehydrated people and necromancy texts, and adds it to his own carefully prepared collection of same. *sigh* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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