Cancer Posted December 12, 2011 Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... While playing Eurorails last Friday, as with three absences we lacked a quorum for an RPG session: "I'll drop off Cork for 62 million, and pick up Beer and Tourists to go along with my load of Automobiles. Perfect trifecta." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted December 12, 2011 Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I don't think I posted this yet. Even though it's been months. (snip) Lucius Alexander I wanted to put one up that said PALINDROMEDARY CROSSING Surely they had one with the great quote from Buckaroo Banzai, "The Greatest Joy Is the Joy of Duty"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted December 12, 2011 Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... More Embria quotes: Rhiannon: Cute Blonde Half-Elf Knight (looks like Hayden Panetierre) Chyra: Adorable Girly-Goth Necromancress (looks like Skye Sweetnam) Varga: Magenta-haired Muscle-babe Barbarian (looks like Phoenix from American Gladiators) Metreon: Gandalf-in-training (looks like Ian McKellan when he was about 35) ----------------- Rhiannon: Im just not sure that giving your followers sex toys sends the right message... -------------- Chyra: If it was a Lich, it would act more intelligent. Rhiannon: Maybe its just a low-down dirty son-of-a-Lich! ------------------- Varga (OOC): *rolls dice* ....My initiative check just bounced :/ ------------------ GM: You see more Mephits. Chyra (OOC): ITS THE MEPHIT SHOW! [/Kermit] ----------- Metreon: The first rule of Mage Club is you dont talk about Mage Club. Varga: You have a "Mage Club"? Metreon: I cant talk about it. --------------- (This one is from a while ago) Chyra (OOC): Im thinking of Flying to the Boar's Head Inn. Metreon (OOC): We're 9th Level, but let's not abuse it. So...Im going to Teleport upstairs to the bathroom, and then I'll join you. -------------------------- Metreon (OOC): So wait...Im the "weenie" here? Rhiannon (OOC): You're the robe-wearing book-nerd Varga (OOC): Where do you think the pointy hat comes from? SWIRLIES! ------------------ GM: You see the Elven village... Varga (OOC): Its a Tree House! A TREEEEE HOUSE! [/CharletonHeston] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErikModi Posted December 12, 2011 Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... A few I forgot: In the previous session to the one I posted above, Gravitas is in a one-on-one with Man O' War, who primarily uses guns. Tired of being shot (and really, who wouldn't be?) Gravitas attempts to use a gravity crush type power to destroy the gun. The GM is looking up the rules, attempting to determine what happens, and the suspense is wearing on the group. Somebody asks if the gun is destroyed yet, or something like that. Me: The gun is both destroyed and not destroyed until the GM makes a ruling. In bringing this line up last night, Groundwire's player renamed Man O' War's weapon 'Schroedinger's Gat.'* *"Gat" is a mostly noir-style slang term for a gun. Back to last night's session, as Warforge shoots Gravitas with a raygun that looks like a Desert Eagle pistol. Gravitas: I'll be fine unless (looks at the GMs dice as they hit the table). . . ow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starcloud Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Modern fantasy campaign set on Earth, not sure of the ruleset, just heard about it. Gnome NPC: "We prefer colder climates. Fewer humans around, you know." Player: "So... you're picking up and moving to Gnome, Alaska?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErikModi Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Player: "So... you're picking up and moving to Gnome' date=' Alaska?"[/quote'] Oooohhhh. . . even for a pun, that was bad. . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted December 18, 2011 Report Share Posted December 18, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... 4th Edition DnD continues Theren the Archer, Elven Ranger Mina the Pyromaniac, Tiefling Wizard Goguin the Faithful, Dwarven Cleric Toarn the Maniac, Human Barbarian Alek the Evil, Human Blackguard Samm the Compensating, Human Fighter As we explore around the Ziggurats, we are attacked by a giant crocodile. Toarn is swallowed whole... Samm: Toarn is being digested! Alek: Well, I didn't like him that much. After rescueing Toarn, he has a request... Toarn: We need to boil the lake. Therin: Andraste isn't here. Goguin: But Mina is. Resting for the night, we are attacked by Ghouls... Goguin: A classic case of boys versus Ghouls. And as the last one retreats with Toarn in pursuit... Goguin: Boys will always chase Ghouls. Samm: If you do that again, I may have to injure you. Battling a giant demon... Goguin: Moradin bless us, every one! Toarn: He has a huge longspear. Samm: And you say I'm compensating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted December 18, 2011 Report Share Posted December 18, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Deep in the heart of a wrecked warmachine on the ruined planet Zayth, Jak Frost is questioning the last priestess of Mykybe, Zaythi Goddess of Love & Good Fortune, about the mysterious Veil, source of the X-1 archeotech that has since vanished from under the nose of Acting-Captain Marzu. The priestess's mutant offspring move to assist her prognostications, unbolting a pneumatic tube from the wall, draping it around her python-like, and letting her breath deeply of the fumes that have accumulated over the centuries. Her vision is suitably oracular and ambiguous. Priestess : You have seen the veil, held before the Goddess that she not drive Man mad with her beauty... I see you tread the path of the thief and the avatar, see you follow in their footsteps to the place of light... but I see only darkness! There is a place, like this, writ large, where they lay offerings before the God of Flesh, and pray for the return of the Gods of Iron, and they know nothing of the world beyond! *long string of babbled Navigator's Cant* I see you seeking a pearl of great price, but you are not the only ones who seek it... seven after seven after seven... you will be damned by your greed... I see war in your future... Damaris! Oceans of blood! Beware the beastman! Beware the creatures beyond the Veil! ..... Make haste! The demons are coming! All annoyingly vague, and worrisome, and generic. Are these Gods of Iron heretical robots? Khornate Chaos Marines? And Seven is the number of the Ruinous Power Nurgle... Although those co-ordinates may actually mean something concrete, and are relayed to Benetek. Jak Frost : Well, that was all very obvious. Beware the mutants! Beware the Orks! Beware the Tyranids, they're quite nasty... Beware the Stinky Cheese! I wonder who that refers to? Acting-Captain Casu Marzu : I can't imagine. Jak now has to decide what to do next - the Priestess begged him to show kindness to her people, but they ARE all mutants and witches, so he would be entirely within his rights to hose them all down with gunfire and have the site nuked from orbit. Instead, he decides to make it Somebody Else's Problem, and persuades the landship Ironclad that detouring to ransack the war machine for salvage is worth it, especially if they get a priestess and oracle as well. The Rose Tattoo's Tech-Priests want to spend the weeks until the Ironclad can crawl there studying the machine in depth, of course, learning everything they can of its technological arcana. This Jak hesitantly approves, on the condition they don't punch holes in the still intact sections, and take precautions against being blown away by the next superstorm. Up on the Rose Tattoo, we learn more of what has been keeping Marzu too busy to meet with the Zaythi. He's ordered a complete breakdown on all data-security logs and power usage for the ship, searching for any evidence that the X-1 is still on board and trying to infiltrate the data-vaults. It doesn't appear the Inquisitor and his retinue had it in their possession, despite his scans of their quarters. GM : You really want to scan the rooms? It's generally a very bad idea to take an interest in the activities of the Inquisition, lest they reciprocate. And Inquisitor Lammergeier's interest in Lord-Captain's van Baroque's illness has him worried as well. Leaving the Lord-Captain in suspended animation, citing the risks of trying to repair his brain without the very best chirugeons to hand, has been convenient for Marzu's megalomania, but if the Inquisition are so intrigued by the case, than perhaps he should try and repair the damage himself, even if organic brain tissue is such a poor substitute for the purity of silicon. GM : So Marzu spends a few days bent over a microscope, operating on the Lord-Captain's brain. *looks innocent* GM : Anything you want to inscribe on the Lord-Captain's new steel plate, before you sew him up? Jak Frost : A penis. Acting-Captain Casu Marzu : Hey, that's not fair. I wouldn't do anything like that. GM : No. You'd nano-etch it in figures a few molecules high. Acting-Captain Casu Marzu : Not true. I like the Lord-Captain. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be out here giving orders and doing whatever the hell I like. BWAHAHAHA. Tech-Priest Casu Marzu : Good news, crew! The operation was a success! Our valiant Lord-Captain will soon be fit to resume his command! GM : 'Just ignore this remote control I'm holding.' The Lord-Captain is cautiously pleased to see that his ship is still intact and most of the crew still alive, despite Marzu being in command. However, the confession that the X-1 Unit is missing nearly puts him back into a coma. Jak Frost : How could you loose a box??? Tech-Priest Casu Marzu : It..... good question! Jak Frost : Were any the Inquisitor's acolytes carrying a box big enough to hold it? Tech-Priest Casu Marzu : Cylinder. Round ends. It was an X-box 360 Lord-Captain van Baroque decides to punish Marzu and Frost - by promoting them both. Jak will now be responsible for the ship's financial endeavours, and Marzu will handle the details. ALL the details. GM : Clever. You can sit back and relax, while Jak strangles under the responsibility, and Marzu drowns in the paperwork. But first, the results of Marzu's electronic security checks are coming in. There's no evidence of the X-1 being active in the last few weeks, but there are some peculiar oddities over the last few months. Tech-Priest and Lay-Technician cognomens being used to log into the ship's systems at points far removed from where those crew members should be. Cross-referencing them to the Rose Tattoo's camera records, patchy as they are, reveals something alarming - they have a Tech-Priest aboard that Marzu doesn't recognise, and this individual has being going from section to section of the ship, avoiding the Enginarium and Command Spire, familiarising himself with the layout and systems, unchallenged by the crew. A Tech-Priest IS a good disguise - the robes conceal much, and mere crew dare not question what he is doing lest it intrude upon the sacred mysteries of technology. Jak immediately passes on a description to the various joy-girls and scum he found places for on the ship. Van Baroque does the same with his own spy network among the crew. Marzu determines that the intruder has an unhealthy interest in the Rose Tattoo's Munitorium, and its life support systems, and Malakai determines that the now unused Alienage, cleared as it is of missionaries, and powered down to divert extra power to the ship's sensor arrays, would be a good place for a spy to hide. He leads a thorough search, and indeed they find something interesting - one of the Alienage's comm-lines has been hacked, with a socket for a burst receiver/transmitter. Jak rigs a concealed camera to watch the area, in case the spy comes back. Jak learns that the fake Tech-Priest has been seen in the ship's sewerage works, where, for reasons of Tradition, rickety walkways hang over the bubbling vats, and talks to the sergeant at arms responsible for that section. GM : It's not one of the most prestigious postings on the ship. Jak : That's an understatement. Have you seen this Tech-Priest doing anything unusual down here? Sergeant-at-Arms : Well, sir, no. He said it was a surprise inspection. Jak OOC : Clearly we need to consult the Evil Overlord list. There are no such things as surprise inspections. Anything else? Sergeant-at-Arms : Well, we had that outbreak of shit-flies last month, but we got it under control. Jak : Oh? Did you use flamers? Sergeant-at-Arms : Oh, NO, sir! No naked flames down here! Marzu, Jak and the rest inspect the Munitorium, directly over the sewerage works. Tech-Priest Casu Marzu : Have any of you seen any Tech-Priests in here? Raise your hands. Munitorium Servitors : .....* all raise hands, power-lifters, etc.* Jak : Tech-Priests other than Marzu. Munitorium Servitors : *all lower hands* They place extra guards on the Munitorium, pending the capture of the spy. They don't want him dead just yet, in case he's an Inquisitorial agent. A suspicious hotspot on one of the Munitorium walls turns out to be an illicit still in one of the gun-decks. The gun crew clan in question is relieved that Marzu isn't angry about this - he's understanding about their needs ( providing the design is one of the approved Illicit Still Configurations ) GM : After all, it saves on industrial solvent too. Unfortunately all this running around searching for the spy has left the rest of the ship in the hands of the ordinary crew. And even with the extra sensor arrays online, they completely fail to notice the four Ork raiders coming in to attack, until it's too late. GM : The Oracle told you that the demons were coming... Jak : That could have meant anything! Lord-Captain van Baroque : Orks? Excellent! GM : Yes, more heads for your trophy room. Happily, the Orks prove spectacularly incompetent at everything, from shooting to boarding to even maintaining morale. After the lead vessel Big Loota gets blasted out of the sky, Marzu even manages to intimidate the second into leaving to find an easier target elsewhere. GM : Possibly your threat was a bit wordy for Orks. Lord-Captain : 'You grotz ain't fit to sniff da dags of Ghazgull Thraka!' GM : Better. 'You like all dat dakka? Well dere's plenny more where dat came from!' GM : I can only assume that first wave of Ork boarders attempted to board via the Rose Tattoo's engines. While they were running. Eventually, the Rose Tattoo having run rings around the other four ships, noses up behind the last, which is so damaged it can only go in straight lines, and has no rear-facing weapons. Tech-Priest Casu Marzu : See that Ork on the stern? Waving the white flag? Target the main guns on him first. Jak Frost : I can imagine the conditions on their ship. 'Hey, Boss, is dat dere air dukt supposed ta be spitting fire like dat?' But Malakai realised something in the middle of battle - even with the firefight raging, he really should have kept the Munitorium locked. Because within minutes of the Orks defeated, and the crew drooling over the thought of the loot they can capture from the hulks, a massive explosion rips through the armoury and the adjacent laser batteries. In retrospect, the middle of the battle was the best time for the spy to make his move. Malakai : All he needed to do was be on one the gun decks, 'blessing' each shell, and have one sent back to the Munitorium as defective. GM : *nods* Just as well you dealt with the Orks so quickly - imagine how bad it would have been if the Munitorium and Sunsear batteries had gone up during the battle? Could have been worse - the explosion could have blown out through the crew barracks, or down through the sewerage works. That would have been a short sharp shower for the planet below. Of course, given the conditions on Zayth, they probably wouldn't have noticed. The explorers order a total lockdown of the ship - they're going to find this agent if it's the last thing they do....and it very well might be. A few quotes, whose context I have forgotten Jak Frost : Pardon me, my pants are shaking Lord-Captain van Baroque : Necrons dancing the Robot. Jak Frost : Tech-Priest/Necron Dance-off! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadowsoul Posted December 18, 2011 Report Share Posted December 18, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Priestess : You have seen the veil' date=' held before the Goddess that she not drive Man mad with her beauty... I see you tread the path of the thief and the avatar, see you follow in their footsteps to the place of light... but I see only darkness! There is a place, like this, writ large, where they lay offerings before the God of Flesh, and pray for the return of the Gods of Iron, and they know nothing of the world beyond! [i']*long string of babbled Navigator's Cant*[/i] I see you seeking a pearl of great price, but you are not the only ones who seek it... seven after seven after seven... you will be damned by your greed... I see war in your future... Damaris! Oceans of blood! Beware the beastman! Beware the creatures beyond the Veil! ..... Make haste! The demons are coming! Lets see if I can work this out. Though I'll probably get it wrong. The path sounds like the Eldar Webway, unless it refers to characters in the campaign I'm not aware of. The only surviving Eldar gods are the Trickster god, probably a thief, and the War god, who was split into the avatars possessed by each Craftworld. The God of Flesh would be Slaanesh, since he is in charge of pleasure and pain and was key to the corruption of Eldar society that unleashed the Chaos Gods and Dark Eldar on the world. No surprise if you can find a shrine to him in or through the webway. Knowing nothing of the world beyond suggests a cult who have no idea of the galactic powers they are playing with. The Gods of Iron could refer to the mysterious Men of Iron, who rebelled against the first Terran Empire and are the main reason why AIs are immensely illegal and heretical in the Imperium. Or they could be Necrons/C'Tan. Though the C'Tan are usually referred to as Star Gods. The Pearl is presumably the X-1. Couldn't hazard a guess about the numbers. Beastmen might be some kind of chaos-beast/mutant, Orks are pretty bestial as well but they are technically a kind of fungus so maybe not. Creatures beyond the veil sound like Demons, Tyranids are an outside possibility since most of them currently live 'beyond' the Milky Way and are gradually plunging into it like teeth into a chunk of meat. Overall I'd say. Move to another section of the galaxy, invest in a lot of weapons and try to forget that any of this ever happened. Do Not Seek The Treasure! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted December 18, 2011 Report Share Posted December 18, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Deep in the heart of a wrecked warmachine on the ruined planet Zayth' date=' Jak Frost is questioning the last priestess of Mykybe, Zaythi Goddess of Love & Good Fortune, about the mysterious Veil, source of the X-1 archeotech that has since vanished from under the nose of Acting-Captain Marzu. The priestess's mutant offspring move to assist her prognostications, unbolting a pneumatic tube from the wall, draping it around her python-like, and letting her breath deeply of the fumes that have accumulated over the centuries. Her vision is suitably oracular and ambiguous.[indent'] Priestess : You have seen the veil, held before the Goddess that she not drive Man mad with her beauty... I see you tread the path of the thief and the avatar, see you follow in their footsteps to the place of light... but I see only darkness! There is a place, like this, writ large, where they lay offerings before the God of Flesh, and pray for the return of the Gods of Iron, and they know nothing of the world beyond! *long string of babbled Navigator's Cant* I see you seeking a pearl of great price, but you are not the only ones who seek it... seven after seven after seven... you will be damned by your greed... I see war in your future... Damaris! Oceans of blood! Beware the beastman! Beware the creatures beyond the Veil! ..... Make haste! The demons are coming! [/indent] All annoyingly vague, and worrisome, and generic. Are these Gods of Iron heretical robots? Khornate Chaos Marines? And Seven is the number of the Ruinous Power Nurgle... Although those co-ordinates may actually mean something concrete, and are relayed to Benetek. Jak Frost : Well, that was all very obvious. Beware the mutants! Beware the Orks! Beware the Tyranids, they're quite nasty... Beware the Stinky Cheese! I wonder who that refers to? Acting-Captain Casu Marzu : I can't imagine. Jak now has to decide what to do next - the Priestess begged him to show kindness to her people, but they ARE all mutants and witches, so he would be entirely within his rights to hose them all down with gunfire and have the site nuked from orbit. Instead, he decides to make it Somebody Else's Problem, and persuades the landship Ironclad that detouring to ransack the war machine for salvage is worth it, especially if they get a priestess and oracle as well. The Rose Tattoo's Tech-Priests want to spend the weeks until the Ironclad can crawl there studying the machine in depth, of course, learning everything they can of its technological arcana. This Jak hesitantly approves, on the condition they don't punch holes in the still intact sections, and take precautions against being blown away by the next superstorm. Up on the Rose Tattoo, we learn more of what has been keeping Marzu too busy to meet with the Zaythi. He's ordered a complete breakdown on all data-security logs and power usage for the ship, searching for any evidence that the X-1 is still on board and trying to infiltrate the data-vaults. It doesn't appear the Inquisitor and his retinue had it in their possession, despite his scans of their quarters. GM : You really want to scan the rooms? It's generally a very bad idea to take an interest in the activities of the Inquisition, lest they reciprocate. And Inquisitor Lammergeier's interest in Lord-Captain's van Baroque's illness has him worried as well. Leaving the Lord-Captain in suspended animation, citing the risks of trying to repair his brain without the very best chirugeons to hand, has been convenient for Marzu's megalomania, but if the Inquisition are so intrigued by the case, than perhaps he should try and repair the damage himself, even if organic brain tissue is such a poor substitute for the purity of silicon. GM : So Marzu spends a few days bent over a microscope, operating on the Lord-Captain's brain. *looks innocent* GM : Anything you want to inscribe on the Lord-Captain's new steel plate, before you sew him up? Jak Frost : A penis. Acting-Captain Casu Marzu : Hey, that's not fair. I wouldn't do anything like that. GM : No. You'd nano-etch it in figures a few molecules high. Acting-Captain Casu Marzu : Not true. I like the Lord-Captain. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be out here giving orders and doing whatever the hell I like. BWAHAHAHA. Tech-Priest Casu Marzu : Good news, crew! The operation was a success! Our valiant Lord-Captain will soon be fit to resume his command! GM : 'Just ignore this remote control I'm holding.' The Lord-Captain is cautiously pleased to see that his ship is still intact and most of the crew still alive, despite Marzu being in command. However, the confession that the X-1 Unit is missing nearly puts him back into a coma. Jak Frost : How could you loose a box??? Tech-Priest Casu Marzu : It..... good question! Jak Frost : Were any the Inquisitor's acolytes carrying a box big enough to hold it? Tech-Priest Casu Marzu : Cylinder. Round ends. It was an X-box 360 Lord-Captain van Baroque decides to punish Marzu and Frost - by promoting them both. Jak will now be responsible for the ship's financial endeavours, and Marzu will handle the details. ALL the details. GM : Clever. You can sit back and relax, while Jak strangles under the responsibility, and Marzu drowns in the paperwork. But first, the results of Marzu's electronic security checks are coming in. There's no evidence of the X-1 being active in the last few weeks, but there are some peculiar oddities over the last few months. Tech-Priest and Lay-Technician cognomens being used to log into the ship's systems at points far removed from where those crew members should be. Cross-referencing them to the Rose Tattoo's camera records, patchy as they are, reveals something alarming - they have a Tech-Priest aboard that Marzu doesn't recognise, and this individual has being going from section to section of the ship, avoiding the Enginarium and Command Spire, familiarising himself with the layout and systems, unchallenged by the crew. A Tech-Priest IS a good disguise - the robes conceal much, and mere crew dare not question what he is doing lest it intrude upon the sacred mysteries of technology. Jak immediately passes on a description to the various joy-girls and scum he found places for on the ship. Van Baroque does the same with his own spy network among the crew. Marzu determines that the intruder has an unhealthy interest in the Rose Tattoo's Munitorium, and its life support systems, and Malakai determines that the now unused Alienage, cleared as it is of missionaries, and powered down to divert extra power to the ship's sensor arrays, would be a good place for a spy to hide. He leads a thorough search, and indeed they find something interesting - one of the Alienage's comm-lines has been hacked, with a socket for a burst receiver/transmitter. Jak rigs a concealed camera to watch the area, in case the spy comes back. Jak learns that the fake Tech-Priest has been seen in the ship's sewerage works, where, for reasons of Tradition, rickety walkways hang over the bubbling vats, and talks to the sergeant at arms responsible for that section. GM : It's not one of the most prestigious postings on the ship. Jak : That's an understatement. Have you seen this Tech-Priest doing anything unusual down here? Sergeant-at-Arms : Well, sir, no. He said it was a surprise inspection. Jak OOC : Clearly we need to consult the Evil Overlord list. There are no such things as surprise inspections. Anything else? Sergeant-at-Arms : Well, we had that outbreak of shit-flies last month, but we got it under control. Jak : Oh? Did you use flamers? Sergeant-at-Arms : Oh, NO, sir! No naked flames down here! Marzu, Jak and the rest inspect the Munitorium, directly over the sewerage works. Tech-Priest Casu Marzu : Have any of you seen any Tech-Priests in here? Raise your hands. Munitorium Servitors : .....* all raise hands, power-lifters, etc.* Jak : Tech-Priests other than Marzu. Munitorium Servitors : *all lower hands* They place extra guards on the Munitorium, pending the capture of the spy. They don't want him dead just yet, in case he's an Inquisitorial agent. A suspicious hotspot on one of the Munitorium walls turns out to be an illicit still in one of the gun-decks. The gun crew clan in question is relieved that Marzu isn't angry about this - he's understanding about their needs ( providing the design is one of the approved Illicit Still Configurations ) GM : After all, it saves on industrial solvent too. Unfortunately all this running around searching for the spy has left the rest of the ship in the hands of the ordinary crew. And even with the extra sensor arrays online, they completely fail to notice the four Ork raiders coming in to attack, until it's too late. GM : The Oracle told you that the demons were coming... Jak : That could have meant anything! Lord-Captain van Baroque : Orks? Excellent! GM : Yes, more heads for your trophy room. Happily, the Orks prove spectacularly incompetent at everything, from shooting to boarding to even maintaining morale. After the lead vessel Big Loota gets blasted out of the sky, Marzu even manages to intimidate the second into leaving to find an easier target elsewhere. GM : Possibly your threat was a bit wordy for Orks. Lord-Captain : 'You grotz ain't fit to sniff da dags of Ghazgull Thraka!' GM : Better. 'You like all dat dakka? Well dere's plenny more where dat came from!' GM : I can only assume that first wave of Ork boarders attempted to board via the Rose Tattoo's engines. While they were running. Eventually, the Rose Tattoo having run rings around the other four ships, noses up behind the last, which is so damaged it can only go in straight lines, and has no rear-facing weapons. Tech-Priest Casu Marzu : See that Ork on the stern? Waving the white flag? Target the main guns on him first. Jak Frost : I can imagine the conditions on their ship. 'Hey, Boss, is dat dere air dukt supposed ta be spitting fire like dat?' But Malakai realised something in the middle of battle - even with the firefight raging, he really should have kept the Munitorium locked. Because within minutes of the Orks defeated, and the crew drooling over the thought of the loot they can capture from the hulks, a massive explosion rips through the armoury and the adjacent laser batteries. In retrospect, the middle of the battle was the best time for the spy to make his move. Malakai : All he needed to do was be on one the gun decks, 'blessing' each shell, and have one sent back to the Munitorium as defective. GM : *nods* Just as well you dealt with the Orks so quickly - imagine how bad it would have been if the Munitorium and Sunsear batteries had gone up during the battle? Could have been worse - the explosion could have blown out through the crew barracks, or down through the sewerage works. That would have been a short sharp shower for the planet below. Of course, given the conditions on Zayth, they probably wouldn't have noticed. The explorers order a total lockdown of the ship - they're going to find this agent if it's the last thing they do....and it very well might be. A few quotes, whose context I have forgotten Jak Frost : Pardon me, my pants are shaking Lord-Captain van Baroque : Necrons dancing the Robot. Jak Frost : Tech-Priest/Necron Dance-off! Illicit Still Configurations, eh? Makes sense, I suppose -- after all, just about everything else in the WH40K universe has an STC for it somewhere. Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted December 18, 2011 Report Share Posted December 18, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Lets see if I can work this out. Though I'll probably get it wrong. The path sounds like the Eldar Webway, unless it refers to characters in the campaign I'm not aware of. The only surviving Eldar gods are the Trickster god, probably a thief, and the War god, who was split into the avatars possessed by each Craftworld. The God of Flesh would be Slaanesh, since he is in charge of pleasure and pain and was key to the corruption of Eldar society that unleashed the Chaos Gods and Dark Eldar on the world. No surprise if you can find a shrine to him in or through the webway. Knowing nothing of the world beyond suggests a cult who have no idea of the galactic powers they are playing with. The Gods of Iron could refer to the mysterious Men of Iron, who rebelled against the first Terran Empire and are the main reason why AIs are immensely illegal and heretical in the Imperium. Or they could be Necrons/C'Tan. Though the C'Tan are usually referred to as Star Gods. The Pearl is presumably the X-1. Couldn't hazard a guess about the numbers. Beastmen might be some kind of chaos-beast/mutant, Orks are pretty bestial as well but they are technically a kind of fungus so maybe not. Creatures beyond the veil sound like Demons, Tyranids are an outside possibility since most of them currently live 'beyond' the Milky Way and are gradually plunging into it like teeth into a chunk of meat. Overall I'd say. Move to another section of the galaxy, invest in a lot of weapons and try to forget that any of this ever happened. Do Not Seek The Treasure! All I can say is that like all good prophesies, it'll only make sense in retrospect although I expect a certain amount of outrage from my players when some of it is revealed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted December 18, 2011 Report Share Posted December 18, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Illicit Still Configurations, eh? Makes sense, I suppose -- after all, just about everything else in the WH40K universe has an STC for it somewhere. Or was, once - the Adeptus Mechanicus would launch all-out religious war at the mere rumour of an intact STC somewhere, in their efforts to seize it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christopher Posted December 19, 2011 Report Share Posted December 19, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Or was' date=' once - the Adeptus Mechanicus would launch all-out religious war at the mere rumour of an intact STC somewhere, in their efforts to seize it.[/quote'] I just picture the adeptus starting a crusade - on the Rumor of a STC for a Still. "For the holy technology of making alchol!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted December 19, 2011 Report Share Posted December 19, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I just picture the adeptus starting a crusade - on the Rumor of a STC for a Still. "For the holy technology of making alchol!" They'd do it for the STC Standard Colonial Spork. These are, after all, people who consider the Rite of Percussive Maintenance divine writ. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted December 21, 2011 Report Share Posted December 21, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I just picture the adeptus starting a crusade - on the Rumor of a STC for a Still. "For the holy technology of making alchol!" Better yet, they could start a crusade in the name of St. Brendan's (Irish Whiskey)... but they'd have to fight off McGinty's descendants at the same time (a Herculean task under the best circumstances, to say the least). Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Mackinder Posted December 21, 2011 Report Share Posted December 21, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Better yet, they could start a crusade in the name of St. Brendan's (Irish Whiskey)... but they'd have to fight off McGinty's descendants at the same time (a Herculean task under the best circumstances, to say the least). Major Tom 2009 Given McGinty's progress in CoC, I expect that his WH40K descendants will be people that the Ruinous Powers try to avoid and don't like talking about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted December 21, 2011 Report Share Posted December 21, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I've been remiss in posting the Adventures of Achmed the Agile. I may yet pull my notes together, but here is a "might have been" sample. We have two Trin'Dar groups going. My group is preparing to travel to the Kash'Ra Deserts. Achmed has been practicing disguising himself as a native. The other group, including characters who were part of Achmed's very early adventures, has been shipwrecked off the coast, taken captive, and carried to the Defiled Lands as slaves. Every once in a while, we speculate about whether the people running the games would ever have our groups cross paths again. The Kash'ra lands border the Defiled Lands (that's one reason their funerary customs include cremation....) I said "Maybe our group is supposed to come rescue yours. I can see it now..." Achmed Out of Continuity: My name is Achmed the Agile. I'm here to rescue you! Ember OoC: Aren't you a little short for a Kash'Ra? Lucius Alexander This is not the palindromedary you're looking for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted December 22, 2011 Report Share Posted December 22, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Given McGinty's progress in CoC' date=' I expect that his WH40K descendants will be people that the Ruinous Powers try to avoid and don't like talking about.[/quote'] Well, the space marines had to get that superhuman genetics from somewhere... and there's no way McGinty's tolerance for certain organic poisons is natural... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Mackinder Posted December 22, 2011 Report Share Posted December 22, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Well' date=' the space marines had to get that superhuman genetics from somewhere... and there's no way McGinty's tolerance for certain organic poisons is natural...[/quote'] Now THAT raises a truly frightening possibility. Consider that the genuine story about WH40K's God-Emperor is buried under so much propaganda as to be downright unrecognizable. So, can we be sure who is REALLY in the Golden Throne? Could it be .... McGinty? Fast forward to when McGinty emerges. The entire Inquisition perishes from cranial explosions when they read 'The Book Of McGinty (Complete Edition)'. Millions of other Church Adepts suddenly discover that 'Alcoholism' is now a required Talent for them. The Adeptas Sororitas struggle to learn the 'Trade (Go-Go Dancer)' skill. And the Ruinous Powers finally decide "Sod this" and run away screaming. And, for me, the horrifying thought is that, given how bleak and incredibly dystopian the WH40K universe is, all this might actually be an improvement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrosshairCollie Posted December 22, 2011 Report Share Posted December 22, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Our group played a cooperative superhero card game called Sentinels of the Multiverse last night. After we select our characters, someone looks over the roster, but has a bit of a brain stutter ... and gave us a Blazing Saddles moment. "Hmm. Legacy, Wraith, Absolute Zero, and Wraith." "You said Wraith twice." "I like Wraith." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DusterBoy Posted December 22, 2011 Report Share Posted December 22, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Now THAT raises a truly frightening possibility. Consider that the genuine story about WH40K's God-Emperor is buried under so much propaganda as to be downright unrecognizable. So, can we be sure who is REALLY in the Golden Throne? Could it be .... McGinty? Fast forward to when McGinty emerges. The entire Inquisition perishes from cranial explosions when they read 'The Book Of McGinty (Complete Edition)'. Millions of other Church Adepts suddenly discover that 'Alcoholism' is now a required Talent for them. The Adeptas Sororitas struggle to learn the 'Trade (Go-Go Dancer)' skill. And the Ruinous Powers finally decide "Sod this" and run away screaming. And, for me, the horrifying thought is that, given how bleak and incredibly dystopian the WH40K universe is, all this might actually be an improvement. A drunken, lunatic Irishman as the God-Emperor? Thank you, I think you just broke my brain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reality Posted December 22, 2011 Report Share Posted December 22, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... One afternoon I GM'd a story with my friend. Me: (sitting on the floor next to furniture) So you turn Desolid, and reach through the wall, like this. Phantom: (player, seated ahead of me, turns pale, looks stunned) Um, how are you doing that? Me: Doing what? Phantom: Putting your hand through that bureau!? Me: It's a desk. The legs go here. Phantom: Ah. So you did not turn intangible just now. Me: (smiling). No, I did not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragitsu Posted December 22, 2011 Report Share Posted December 22, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "Nepotism. NEPOTISM!" Dude, it's a lemonade stand" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Our group played a cooperative superhero card game called Sentinels of the Multiverse last night. After we select our characters, someone looks over the roster, but has a bit of a brain stutter ... and gave us a Blazing Saddles moment. "Hmm. Legacy, Wraith, Absolute Zero, and Wraith." "You said Wraith twice." "I like Wraith." Just wait until the card that says "Stampede the local evil superagent group through the local opera house" comes up. Then you'll know that you're having a Blazing Saddles moment. Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Now THAT raises a truly frightening possibility. Consider that the genuine story about WH40K's God-Emperor is buried under so much propaganda as to be downright unrecognizable. So, can we be sure who is REALLY in the Golden Throne? Could it be .... McGinty? Fast forward to when McGinty emerges. The entire Inquisition perishes from cranial explosions when they read 'The Book Of McGinty (Complete Edition)'. Millions of other Church Adepts suddenly discover that 'Alcoholism' is now a required Talent for them. The Adeptas Sororitas struggle to learn the 'Trade (Go-Go Dancer)' skill. And the Ruinous Powers finally decide "Sod this" and run away screaming. And, for me, the horrifying thought is that, given how bleak and incredibly dystopian the WH40K universe is, all this might actually be an improvement. Well, it would explain the Emperor's well-known aversion to gods, especially ones starting with N- and ending with -yarlathotep. It would CERTAINLY explain some of the utterly boneheaded things he did between the Great Crusade and the Horus Heresy. Exactly how drunk WAS the Emperor when he refused Angron permission to save his fellow slaves? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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