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Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


Darren Watts

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Had to come up with a Rogue Trader session when the Deathwatch GM was a no-show.

 

The starship Rose Tattoo, flagship of the van Baroque fleet, is finally heading back towards the boundaries of the Imperium of Man, after almost a year of wandering around the Koronus Expanse, meeting Orks, strange aliens, rival Rogue Traders, hereteks and traitors, Artificial Intelligences, and opportunities for immense profit. Once such opportunity they are bringing back with them - the starship Sycorax that formerly belonged to a presumably dead Rogue Trader Bel Ingeneri, which they intend to leave in the care of their salvaged space station at the heathen world of Zayth. After all, possession is nine tenths of the law, and the more of Ingeneri's relatives die of old age, the better the van Baroque's claim to it will be.

Magos Casu Marzu
: I like torpedos.

GM
: There's probably some deeply Freudian reason for that

Magos Casu Marzu
: Nah, I just want to ride them like a cowboy. Woohoo!

 

That accomplished, and the Zaythi fanatics convinced that their dead Space Marine god was killed by Eldar ( and not fellow humans ) and that Ingeneri, who robbed them of their relics, has been suitably chastised, the Rose Tattoo embarks for the pleasure-planet Solace Encarmine. There to blow the gross domestic product of several small nations on a party. Some of the lesser tech-priests fight among themselves for the chance to be left behind.

 

GM
: What interest would Tech-priests have in a pleasure planet? 'Oh, the wonderful sunshine, and the salt corroding my joints!' Crawling around in the belly of a kilometres-long landship IS a holiday to them. Tech-priests don't pack boardshorts, they pack multitools.

 

GM
: Astropath Adrik really is the most expendable crewmember on board - if you ever really need to get a message anywhere in a hurry, Netzach can just fly the entire starship there and back in an afternoon.

 

GM
: No-one wants to know what Tech-priests have as the target of their carnal appetites

Jak Frost
: He locks himself in his room with with a copy of Windows 7

Magos Casu Marzu
: Then I get screwed, not the other way around.... I wouldn't touch that with a wireless router.

 

At least at Solace Encarmine they can replace some of the foodstuffs Navigator Benetek has consumed since he joined the ship. If he gets any bigger they'll have to install vaulted corridors or giant pneumatic tubes just so he can get around.

 

Pinkamena
: Can you get me some of those little silvery balls you put on cupcakes? I need about a tonne of those.

Casu Marzu
: What, you mean shotgun pellets? Here you go.

Pinkamena
: Don't be silly, Father Marzu, you can't eat those.

Magos Casu Marzu
: *
munchmunchmunch
*

Pinkamena
: Oh, I guess you can

 

The crew are so eager to party that some don't even wait for the shuttles to land. Some parachute. Marzu and Jak just jump from the back of the starship and surf down.

 

Magos Casu Marzu
: I'm going to relax on the beach, and sip a nice glass of crude.

GM
: You can find a nice spot with a view over the promethium refinery. It's only a small one though, that they use for refuelling visiting starships.

Magos Casu Marzu
: I can make it bigger if they want.

Jak Frost
: That's what SHE said.

 

Jak arranges a team-building exercise for the command crew - they're going to go blow large holes in the wildlife of one of the islands. Given the size of some of the wildlife, they'd better be very large holes. Marzu, for some reason inclined to make things more difficult, wants to take the monsters alive, and brings webber rounds for his shotgun.

 

GM
: And you're sitting at the back of the air yacht under a sun umbrella?

Magos Casu Marzu
: Solar panel, thank you.

GM
: Of course it is. And sipping at a tall glass of promethium with a paper umbrella in it?

Jak Frost
: If the umbrella is dissolving you know it's good.

 

Given that this is the Imperium of Man, I suppose we should all be grateful that they don't harpoon one of their own crew to use as bait for the carnivores they're hunting, and instead use one of the native herd beasts.

Magos Casu Marzu
: What are you talking about? I don't have a spiritual heart.

GM
: No, you have a spiritual hard drive

 

The next few days are, perhaps predictably, spent hunting for a beast reputed to live on one of the ridges. A beast that eats air yachts. After the encounters scale up to something with a mouth eight metres wide, and their guide says that isn't even a big predator around these parts, they decide to back up the air yacht with a guncutter. And even that isn't enough when they finally track the beast to its lair. THEN they have to bring in the heavy cargo lifter, and an industrial promethium tank doped with melta charges...

 

If you want to know further details of their hunting expedition, Jak made sure to film the whole gory display, complete with pyroclastic conclusion, and will no doubt be selling the tape to one of the Imperium's holovid combines. Alternatively, you can listen to the audio when it gets released. The rest of the Rose Tattoo's crew probably had the right idea, merely burning down various bars in Solace Encarmine's only city, drunkenly hijacking jitneys and crashing them into irrigation ditches, and drinking the island dry of every drop of alcohol they can find. The locals don't mind much - bribes to the local authorities are a major part of the economy.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

As far as I can tell they haven't left yet. So they have more than enough time to blow up the planet.

 

 

 

Their chances of blowing up the planet will increase exponentially if they should -- in the

course of their debauchery -- encounter a certain pair of young, scantily-clad women, one

of whom wields a "smart" weapon that the Adeptus Mechanicus would sell their mothers

for (provided that they haven't already been sold for spare parts, that is) to get their hands

on it.

 

 

 

Major Tom 2009 :eg:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Their chances of blowing up the planet will increase exponentially if they should -- in the

course of their debauchery -- encounter a certain pair of young, scantily-clad women, one

of whom wields a "smart" weapon that the Adeptus Mechanicus would sell their mothers

for (provided that they haven't already been sold for spare parts, that is) to get their hands

on it.

 

 

 

Major Tom 2009 :eg:

 

That's a pretty bad part of the galaxy for such a pair of lovely angels.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

In warhammer "scanlty clad" and "helpless" are often worlds appart:

sister repentia

 

How dangerous a woman in the fantasy genre is can be calculated very easily: it is both directly proportional to her "hotness" and inversely proportional to how much clothing she wears.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

As far as I can tell they haven't left yet. So they have more than enough time to blow up the planet.

 

Well, they did speculate about ways to blow up the sun while they were having breakfast one morning

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

In warhammer "scanlty clad" and "helpless" are often worlds appart:

http://nooblar.deviantart.com/art/sister-repentia-97896671

 

in an actual Warhammer40K 'verse that'll get her turned into squigfood ASAP.

 

Real sister come equipped with power armor, flamers, jetpacks, tanks, bolters, and a distinct lack of a sense of humor.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

in an actual Warhammer40K 'verse that'll get her turned into squigfood ASAP.

 

Real sister come equipped with power armor, flamers, jetpacks, tanks, bolters, and a distinct lack of a sense of humor.

 

Not the Sisters Repentia - they really do go around in bandages and not much else. Leading to such comnents from Orks as "'ere, wots dem wobbly bits?"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

That's a pretty bad part of the galaxy for such a pair of lovely angels.

 

Thankfully Susano got the reference. I am deeply disappointed with the rest of you. If you don't recognize the WWWA's top troubleshooting team, please go back to watching anime posthaste.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Thankfully Susano got the reference. I am deeply disappointed with the rest of you. If you don't recognize the WWWA's top troubleshooting team' date=' please go back to watching anime posthaste.[/quote']

 

I got it. I just didn't care.

CES

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Thankfully Susano got the reference. I am deeply disappointed with the rest of you. If you don't recognize the WWWA's top troubleshooting team' date=' please go back to watching anime posthaste.[/quote']

 

But that's too easy! :D

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Since I am only casually familiar with the 40k universe, while my first thought was the Dirty Pair, I thought maybe there was some 40k parody of them around that was being referenced, like a couple of Sisters of Battle or the like.

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