Jump to content
Darren Watts

Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

Recommended Posts

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

What I said yesterday was somewhat overshadowed by my impeccable accidental timing ... making one person laugh when he was in the middle of swallowing' date=' which is incredibly painful ... and then topping it off later by making someone start laughing in the middle of sneezing.[/quote']

 

I always make sure that my wife is not taking a drink or eating before I say something with emotional impact.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

4th edition DnD-ness

Theren the Archer, Elven Ranger

Goguin the Faithful, Dwarven Cleric

Lucius the Pyro/Cyromaniac, Tiefling Elementalist

Terios the Moo, Minotaur Fighter

Darius the Deadly, Mul Battlemind

Orr the Conjuction, Half-Orc Rogue

 

So, I've missed some sessions, and this may be out of context... we're still in Hell, looking for some missing Angels and to give the Book of Vile Darkness to the Lord of Hell in order to get out of his debt.

 

Lucius has a way with the ladies...

You're pretty. You'd be prettier on fire.

 

Describing the scene...

GM: You hear heavy breathing.

Goguin: Great, a pervert.

Terios: PerVECT!

 

Confronted by a giant brain...

Darius: I wonder if it's afraid of zombies.

 

We try to hide...

Monster: We know you are in the closet, come out!

Terios: Fabulous!

 

Lucius complains...

Lucius: Why is everything here evil?

Therin: We're in Hell, stupid.

 

Therin is dominated...

Goguin: The devil is making him do it.

 

Therin tries to fight

Therin: I target the nearest creature!

Terios: That would be Goguin.

Therin: I target the nearest enemy.

Terios: That would be Lucius.

 

Dealing with a Devil

Therin: Now I guess you'll try and kill us.

Devil: No, I can hire someone else to do it.

Lucius: I'll do it!

 

We get thrown out.

Orr: It sucks to be banned from Hell.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Getting kicked out of hell.....well, Iv'e used the following saying a couple of times on some characters in games i've played "Heaven doesn't want him and Hell is afraid he'll take over."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From Terracide: Salvaging Hope. (the Savage Worlds playtest sessions)

 

ELINT Officer Raymond, Celestial Guard Fleet Intruder Barrel of Monkeys: (nuclear-capable strike vessel)

 

You know, it's getting harder and harder to hide all this radioactive debris out here.

 

...brought the whole game to a grinding halt as the table erupted with howls of laughter.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

GM
: The fake Lord Frontbottom. Lord Fakebottom. Some sort of prosthetic, perhaps.

 

Having Frontbottom - actually Damien Johns - released back into their care takes a surprisingly short amount of time, despite Prof. Einstein's cheerful efforts at putting her foot in it. The others manage to pass off her tales of violent affray and geese immolation as jokes in poor taste.

 

Fakebottom
: Those geese were asking for it.

 

Frontbottom is allowed to go with them as long as stays dosed on Beecham's Brain Tonic, stop climbing up onto roofs, and avoids all excitement. Like that's going to happen. Aldous Quinn was reluctant to take him along anyway.

 

Aldous Quinn
: Sweet Lord no - I've got enough on my plate already without dealing with a crazy man. I had enough of that with McGinty.

Fakebottom
: If I get released into Einstein's care I'll promptly stab her and throw her off a bridge. And no jury in the world would convict me.

 

Aldous Quinn
: I've gotten very good at cultivating my selective ignorance.

 

Agent Johnson
: Well, if you do come with us, I'd appreciate the use of your skill set.

GM
: Who knows, you might run into more geese.

 

GM
: They could always give you a nice office job transcribing wax cylinders from field missions. How do you spell 'Argh! It's got my face!'?

 

Fakebottom
: Thank you Abbagale, you've given me a reason to come with you. You helped me, so I'm obligated to help you.

GM
: And if you change your mind in the next twelve hours you're on your way to an asylum anyway.

 

Prof. Deborah Einstein
: Can you imagine more damaging to the sanity of someone who’s already unhinged, than trying to deal with these people and the things they do?

GM
: Try to read the RPG Fatal.

All
: Aaaaarghhh!

Aldous Quinn OoC
: or watch the Star Wars Holiday Special.

All
: Aaaaarghhh!

 

GM
: So far you've only had one death, and haven't even met any monsters. Compared to New England, Old England is way ahead.

Aldous Quinn
: Do you have any idea what New England was like? If I had to pull over to take a leak behind the trees, I'd have to take a close look before I unzipped.

 

Spoilers ahead for Masks and Death In The Post

 

 

February 9th - After recovering Fakebottom's butlering uniform - and sawn-off shotgun - from storage at the estate, they head north, to Northumberland. They arrive at the Grey Fell Institute to learn that Dr Briggs was released over a month ago, fully cured - at least according to the Director. Something they could have learned days ago if they'd bothered to phone ahead. The do have his previous address in Wimbledon on record though – useful, since they’ll be able to dynamite the burrows of the invisible mutant badgers on the Common there, while in the area. On the other hand, they do learn that Briggs continued his 'research' for most of his time there, as occupational therapy, which is alarming. More alarming is a conversation Abbagale has with one of Briggs' closer acquaintances at the Institute.

 

 

Abbagale Stants
: Can I talk to Briggs' accomplice?

Director
: 'Accomplice'?

Abbagale Stants
: Er... associate?

Fakebottom
: Co-conspirator.

Prof. Deborah Einstein
: Deviant cohort.

 

According to this worthy, the UK is being run by snake-men, the space lobsters that magnetically beam thoughts into his brain with the Air Looms in their aeronefs are at war with the French, and the Institute Director is really Yog-Sothoth, and is only pretending to be human so nobody will realise he's really Yog-Sothoth.

That should make for some interesting telegrams back to ONI.

 

THE SPACE PRAWNS ARE HERE STOP

 

 

Mr. Finney
: The Archbishop of Canterbury is really an avatar of Nyarlathotep. Doctor Briggs didn't figure this out himself, I had to point it out to him.

Abbagale Stants
: Okaaaay...

 

Fakebottom
: If McGinty was still here he'd be 'Fucking.. I fucking knew it!'

 

Also, the Two Princes of London’s famous Tower were apparently sacrificed to Yog-Sothoth, as part of the tower ritual of that god.

 

Mr. Finney
: I want you to know so you'll be safe. From the space lobsters.

 

Mr. Finney
: The poll tax is a fraud, because of the snake men. I used to write a lot of letters about that.

 

Abbagale, of course, thinks that this is all total gibberish, but her more experienced associates find it highly worrisome, and make plans to have the inmate abducted and questioned. They head back to London, and Wimbledon, where Police Boxes prove disappointingly non-Gallifreyan. But even if they were it seems unlikely the occupant would co-operate.

 

Fakebottom OoC
: ‘You have the smell of PCs, go away!’

Agent Johnson OoC
: Oh, come on, just take us to the CthulhuTech era so we can bring back something nice and explodey.

 

They break into the doctor's former surgery/residence, and discover signs of recent habitation, blank papyrus in a drawer, and a temple to Nyarlathotep in basement. They decide to drop the good doctor neck-deep in trouble, by making an anonymous call to the police saying that Doctor Briggs is acting oddly again, could they send a constable around to check on him?

 

And they head back to their respective hotels, happily oblivious of the trouble they've just heaped on themselves, especially since Abbagale left her lockpick set snapped off in the front door. But at least, back at the hotel, they find a message from Richardson of the Clarion - apparently Professor Masters, now resident in Oxford and another name on Briggs' hit-list, is dead.

 

 

February 10th - Rather than go to Richardson first and get details, they continue with other plans - meeting Inspector Barrington again, to give him confirmation of the Black Pharaoh connection to the Egyptian Murders; meeting Dr Lund and warning him of the threat to his life - despite their complete lack of any specifics; and going around to the Penhew Foundation. Not to talk to the director Edward Gavigan about the doomed Carlyle Expedition, but to see if Briggs is there, sticking hypodermic needles in mummies.

 

Scotland Yard is somewhat fruitful – Inspector Barrington is certain that the My Life as a God diary will prove instrumental in cracking the case, although the fact that the cult recruits Englishmen is highly disturbing. Also, they learn of one suspect – a Soho spice merchant that was once a guide to an earlier Penhew expedition, one Tewfik al-Sayed, and a regular at the Blue Pyramid.

 

Elsewhere, at the Penhew Foundation itself, Einstein and Abbagale take the opportunity to be nosy parkers. They ask the secretary if Briggs is a member, and find out he isn't listed as a current contributor. Then, while examining the collection, the Professor distracts security long enough for Abbagale to sneak into the elevator and down into the basement, where after a quick poke around reveals a crawlspace access that for some reason she finds so fascinating she has to drag two crates over so she can investigate it. Then, through sheer clumsiness, she drops one of the crates, and is soon discovered. Somewhat to her surprise, the surly workman that finds her merely delivers her back to the staff upstairs, who explains that the elevator is for staff and goods only, and reunites her with her compatriot.

 

 

Abbagale
: ... and then Einstein distracted the guard.

Aldous Quinn
: No. No. No.
*reaches for the 110 proof brain bleach*

 

Agent Johnson
: How old is Einstein?

Fakebottom
: We don't know - or ask.

Aldous Quinn
: she's more a force of nature than a human being.

Fakebottom
: She was once a small rock.

Aldous Quinn
: But the nature of Einstein was irrepressible.

 

The Professor also volunteers to talk to Dr Lund. This is where her lack of any details on the death of Masters, or any credible reason to connect the death to that of Edmundson, and her cheerful admission that most of her fellow investigators are amateurs, tells against her. One hopes Lund does indeed keep an eye open for Dr Briggs hanging around, and that doing so will actually do him any good.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

A wargame:

The Imperials have bolters, heavy bolters, and rockets.

Their enemy the Eldar have lasers, scatter lasers, force fields, bright lances, d-cannons, star cannons, psy-lances, prism cannons, etc. etc.

 

Imperial Player: Man the Eldar sure have a lot of toys!

Moderator: Yes in the 40K galaxy they certainly have cornered the dildo market.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Techmarine Tawhaki: And here's Brother Gilroy MacIan of the Storm Wardens, although they deny all responsibility.

 

They say the exact same thing about the Space Wolf in my group, the guy who spends all non-duty hours in

the Twelve-Forward Lounge, testing the limits of his preomnor gland.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

 

They say the exact same thing about the Space Wolf in my group, the guy who spends all non-duty hours in

the Twelve-Forward Lounge, testing the limits of his preomnor gland.

 

*grins* alth9ough the Space Wolf generally encourage that sort of thing - indeed, they've invented a brew that will actually get a Space Marine runk, at least for a few minutes. The Storm Wardens are supposed to be sober of mind AND habit :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

*grins* alth9ough the Space Wolf generally encourage that sort of thing - indeed' date=' they've invented a brew that will actually get a Space Marine runk, at least for a few minutes. The Storm Wardens are supposed to be sober of mind AND habit :)[/quote']

 

Find myself very interested in what that Space Wolf brew would do to a normal person. Not that there are so many normals in WH40K, so I'll amend that last to 'someone NOT a Space Marine'.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Not so many normals? are you kidding? The imperial guard is NOTHING but normals, and there are zillions of them. Hell their main combat tactic is to just throw men at the enemy till he dies suffocating under a mountain of Imperial Corpses!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Find myself very interested in what that Space Wolf brew would do to a normal person. Not that there are so many normals in WH40K' date=' so I'll amend that last to 'someone NOT a Space Marine'.[/quote']

 

Die with flame shooting out of their ears, probably. Certain Looney Toons cartoons spring to mind, involving Black Bart iirc, and small glasses poured with tongs.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Not so many normals? are you kidding? The imperial guard is NOTHING but normals' date=' and there are zillions of them. Hell their main combat tactic is to just throw men at the enemy till he dies suffocating under a mountain of Imperial Corpses![/quote']

 

One of the reasons I like the Guard :) Ordinary men in a Galaxy of superhumans :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Die with flame shooting out of their ears' date=' probably. Certain Looney Toons cartoons spring to mind, involving Black Bart iirc, and small glasses poured with tongs.[/quote']

 

Heheh. Thinking now that the size / muscle differential between Black Bart and Daffy Duck would be roughly the same as between a Space Marine and a regular human.

 

One of the reasons I like the Guard :) Ordinary men in a Galaxy of superhumans :)

 

Line I recall from a long-ago comic strip in White Dwarf: "He lives by the gun .... and they die by the thousand."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Yeah, i love the Guard too, especially Commisar's, whose job it is to be a mortal man more feared than all the terrors of the universe combined. Not feared by his enemies, but by his soldiers.....

 

I want that job!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Ironclaw Sessions 3 and 4

 

The Cast:

Captain Fancy -- Horse Paladin

Koda -- (Vampire*) Bat Burglar

Sigmund Kinsbrough -- Tiger Agent

Traké -- Tiger Mercenary Captain

Zepherine LaFleur -- Red Fox Ranger

 

(*we now know why Koda was so happy to haul the bodies of dead assassins out of the inn.)

 

The party discusses giving advance notice to someone they need to visit. Resulting in this tidbit of wisdom:

Zepherine: "I told Traké I was coming last night. He was most appreciative."

 

Fancy: "Did we bring any sweet rolls?"

Koda: "We did...."

 

Fancy (OOC): "I'm going to give Traké Focus."

Traké (OOC): "Sweet! What does that do?"

 

"It's Waaagh, it's Waaagh, it's big, it's heavy, it's ork."

 

Traké: "What tackled me?"

GM: "A big brown thing."

Zepherine (OOC): "A sh*t demon?"

All: *laughter*

 

Koda: "Did you just heal me?"

Fancy: "Yes."

Koda (hopefully): "Did you lay hands on me?"

 

Zepherine makes a combat suggestion: "Tiger Uppercut! That'll intimidate him."

 

Sigmund: "I don't care about money."

Zepherine: "Well I do!"

 

Captain Fancy pulls a strange shadowy thing into her room.

Zepherine (OOC): "Is Fancy now going to die like Tasha Yar?"

 

Koda kills a black bird with a hawk(?) medallion.

Zepherine (OOC): "Way to go Koda, you've pissed off DC Comics."

 

Traké: "We go to Plan B."

Zepherine: "More explosives?"

Traké: "That's Plan C."

 

"Warning, things on the ceiling are closer than they appear."

 

GM: He counter attacks."

Traké: "What what? A bomb?"

 

Zepherine: "I'm an archer, you can't just shoot to wound."

Sigmund: "Why didn't you shoot him in the knee?"

 

"Is there a mess of stringy stuff attached to these eyeballs?"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Sessions 2 and 3 of the All-American Atomic Apocalypse

 

The Cast:

Ed

Jim "The Fireman" Flamel

"Sniper" Johanssen

Technical

 

"Sniper" makes a mistake: "I shouldn't have done the voice of Dennis Quaid as Doc Holiday... as now I'm going to talk like him all night."

 

"My dream job is to help nymphomaniacs who suffer from short-term memory loss."

 

"I double exploded."

 

"Sniper": "My speciality is long-range surgery."

 

"Sniper": "Little green men should fall down when I shoot them."

 

GM: "[The Blaster] is covered in alien applesauce."

 

"Min-max fail."

"Min-max minned."

 

"It's a tunnel."

"Yeah, a hole that's fallen over."

 

"This is like Charles Manson wrote Thomas the Tank Engine."

 

"Big, thick, and wooden."

(I think the GM was describing a door.)

 

GM: "Huge iron knockers."

*pause*

"Sniper": "Did everyone have a flashback to Young Frankenstein just now?"

 

"You could just airmail the bullets over and do more damage."

 

"Sniper" gets two kills with two shots: "Thanks for standing still."

 

"Do you have Throwing?"

"No."

"Do you have Dropping?"

 

"Shoot him and state 'welcome to Earth'."

 

"Sniper" vaporizes a guy with 40 points of damage. A 'redshirt' drops his gun and runs off, leading to: "He's got commanding officer all over him and is now running for the eyewash station to get the gunk out of his eyes."

 

"Dirty Harry just killed Spock."

 

Jim: "This is my ship now! By this axe I rule!"

 

GM: "[The Plasma Grenade] is starting to whine."

(OOC): "I wanna go home."

 

GM: "The other ship explodes."

Jim: "My job here is done."

 

"Well, you can tell we've been here."

"It's on fire? Yeah, the Fireman's been here."

 

"Sniper's contract states she gets extra money is she has a shower montage."

 

"Get's his Glitterboy on."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

FantasyCraft Session 1

 

The Cast

Khryshakk the dragon-tailed Saurian Scout

??? the Gorgon martial Artist

??? the Human Wizard

??? the Human Emissary

 

(as of the end of the first session we actually haven't introduced ourselves to each other....)

 

"The GM has had a beer and a cigar, he's ready to run."

 

"You missed [hitting] a guy face-down in a fire."

 

"Ronin Truth-weasel"

 

The Gorgon speaks: "It's a statue, they've covered it. It's probably got its jimmy out, if the ancient cults are anything to go by."

 

"Did you just suggest a non-Euclidean penis?"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

GM: This is a hospital for patients with serious mental illnesses.

PC#1: Can we talk with them?

GM: They're suffering from all sorts of delusions. They hear voices. They'll talk to you whether you're there or not.

Me: Great! That should save us from having to make the trip down there! :rofl:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

GM: This is a hospital for patients with serious mental illnesses.

PC#1: Can we talk with them?

GM: They're suffering from all sorts of delusions. They hear voices. They'll talk to you whether you're there or not.

Me: Great! That should save us from having to make the trip down there! :rofl:

 

*facepaw*

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

A little personal . . .

 

----------

The Sitch:

The GM and the players are discussing what kind of characters we want to run in the upcoming Kazei5 game. I have run female characters more often than not in this GM's games.

 

----------

 

GM: What kind of character do you want to play?

 

Me:​ (Perusing the book, I see the Puma and automatically think of Dominion Tank Police): A Puma!

 

GM: OK, what gender?

 

Me (Still thinking of Ana and Una Puma): Female.

GM: Is there some reason you like to play females?

Me: It's because I like the ladies --

 

GM: And you secretly want to be one?

 

Me: What can I say? I'm a lesbian trapped inside a man's body.

 

GM:​ . . . :think:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

A little personal . . .

 

----------

The Sitch:

The GM and the players are discussing what kind of characters we want to run in the upcoming Kazei5 game. I have run female characters more often than not in this GM's games.

 

----------

 

GM: What kind of character do you want to play?

 

Me:​ (Perusing the book, I see the Puma and automatically think of Dominion Tank Police): A Puma!

 

Funny, so was I when created them. ^_^

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...