Guest WhammeWhamme Posted September 27, 2005 Report Share Posted September 27, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "So, basically, this plan is to freeze hell over?" Basil 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrosshairCollie Posted September 30, 2005 Report Share Posted September 30, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I'd have to edit so much out of the first conversation that it wouldn't be funny, but suffice to say, it led up to this, when the Dolphin Moreau in the group mentioned his blowhole. "With the conversation we just had, should any of us REALLY be saying the word 'blowhole'?" And, after a bit of plane-hopping, I decided to get ... strange. "We're in a parallel dimension." (pause) "There was no mention of a parallel dimension." (pause) "I wish to voice dissention at this ascention to a parallel dimension." (pause) "If there had been prevention of this ascention to this parallel dimension, we'd have less tension." (pause) "If retention --" (other players cast Dice Storm) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted October 1, 2005 Report Share Posted October 1, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Ripped off from someone funnier, but I got to use it in a game: Dexer(Me): There are thralls coming from the beach. Captain Thorpe: How many? Dexer: *pause**looks around*I-I was told there wouldn't be any math involved.... death tribble 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nevenall Posted October 1, 2005 Report Share Posted October 1, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From last week's session of the Jedi Academy Campaign "What happens when you cross Skywalkers and Solos? Do they stop whining, or do they just get really good at it?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted October 3, 2005 Report Share Posted October 3, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... In my UNITY 2010 game, the heroes split up to look for clues. One team -- New Man (the mentalist), Thich Nat Han (the Tibetan sorcerer), and Red Dragon (the uncontrollable samurai) -- is set up, given a red herring. They (unknowingly and in civilian garb) walk into a VIPER Nest that looks like a trashy bar. Of course, it isn't long before all hell starts to break loose. I announce combat time, and call for actions. New Man: Wait! Don't do anything yet. We could get out of this without a fight -- I've got a plan. Red Dragon: I charge the bouncer! Thich Nat Han: Well, you know what they say -- "No plan ever survives contact with Red Dragon." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lethosos Posted October 3, 2005 Report Share Posted October 3, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... A classic that happened during Friday's monthl meet of my club--we played Blackmoor MMRPG. And let me tell you, Dustin does a really good impression of a little street girl asking for charity--he targeted me specifically. My response was an instinctive KODT flashback: "I roll for Sense Motive." All but me at the table cracked up. Another one came up later in the same game--we got into something of an ambush, and the Cabal wizard detected magic from this barrel. The Westryn elf tumbled past the encounter point and stabbed his rapier into the side of the barrel. Inside of it was the same street girl, who was apparently a fledgling sorcerer (considered bad by Cabal wizards; history stuff.) The tagline from the other Westryn elf, his partner, was to say to him: "I spit kids." (And let's not go into my coments about the palm mark on Mr I Spit Kids' face--everytime he was asked about it, he said it was a mark of blessing. I say instead "BAD TOUCHING!" ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hooligan x Posted October 3, 2005 Report Share Posted October 3, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Our Sunday group was in combat and waiting for our regular pizza delivery. I was revuing the phase's actions when the door bell rang. "Phase six. FIrst Morningstar, Palmer, giant robots, Mr. Mayhem, Benedict..." *Ding Dong* "Phase six: Morningstar, Palmer, pizza guy, giant robots, Mayhem, Benedict." "The pizza guy has a higher dex than 18!?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneWingedAngel Posted October 3, 2005 Report Share Posted October 3, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The backstory's a bit complicated on this one, so I'll just throw it out: Character 1: "So let me get this straight... we're going to take this army and invade? Basically, we're leading a crusade...?" Character 2: "Yes." Character 1: "Just checking because, historically speaking, the crusades never ended well...." Character 3: "Historically speaking, the crusades never started well." Character 2: "Historically speaking, we've never led a crusade." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted October 4, 2005 Report Share Posted October 4, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Playing Iron Kingdoms D&D; GunMage: I bet you a crown I kill my target before you kill yours! He shoots a charging Farrow. Fighter, steps up and kills the wounded Farrow. "Your On." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zornwil Posted October 4, 2005 Report Share Posted October 4, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I ran across this old one as I was doing write-up work. Neumann, our do-gooder robot, ran across this regular-looking joe who wanted to see Neumann's known associate, Dr. Sihn. He explains, with stilted speaking, "I need help. I have seen many doctors and none of them could fix my hearing." Neumann, after realizing he can only read lips, which of course he does not have, does produce a hologram of lips to mouth as he flatly responds, the very helpful: "Perhaps you are deaf." Like a lot of these, you had to be there, the player delivered it so dead-pan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawksmoor Posted October 4, 2005 Report Share Posted October 4, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... This is a bit of a cumbersome quote and more a micro synopsis of my F2F game. Anyway the game world is essentially an amalgam of DC and the CU, where in agencies like VIPER and other villians fill the roles of my badguys liberally seasoned with existing DCU villians like the pre-deceased Parasite and Lex Luthor My wife plays Minerva, an exiled New God from Apokalips and possibly Granny Goodness's own daughter via Steppenwolf which makes her Darksied's cousin. I like complicated histories in my games. Minerva is a genius with astounding medical knowledge who operates as a surgeon in her other, now public identity. While she was doing some pro bono work for the New Hampshire prison system , she was asked to take personal charge of the care the recently incarcerated Charger of the Ultimates. For those of you that do not have the 4E edition, (Super)Charger was shot in the heart forcing Mastermind to replace his heart with an articficial one. As a result of putting Charger in suspeneded animation prior to and during the risky surgury Charger is now really cold and requires a coolant suit or he dies. Long story short Minerva cures Charger of his hypothermic condition and replaced the artificial heart Mastermind gave him with a better one more suited to his metahuman physiology. Mastermind, meanwhile, attacks the prison during the operation requiring Minerva to fend off the diversion assault of another villian. Back at the operating room Mastermind and the other Ultimates grab Charger and steal Minerva's notes and things from her lab. When Minerva returns they capture her too. Using the Starbird the Ultimates make their way across country to their New Mexico base in the painted desert. Minerva completes the surgury and is now Mastermind's captive. Strangely the slightly deranged Mastermind likes her presense since she is almost able to speak to him on his advanced level. Soon, Minerva is made aware that Mastermind was altered via mental contact with the Plasmoid Entity. Contact that Minerva is certain will kill the Mastermind unless something is done to either stop the rewiring of his brain or alter his brain so that it is strong enough to withstand the strain. Her devotion to duty mean that although the rest of Black Rain come to rescue her she stays on so she can treat Mastermind. Good Roleplaying! Mastermind goes with the plan to alter his brain on a fundamental biological level to withstand the stress. Previously, Minerva completed full scans including DNA sequencing on herself and three Apokalipian soldiers so she begins to superscience her way through a genetic therapy that will essentially make Mastermind a human/New God hybrid like the Forever People. In short Mastermind will be made of sterner stuff. Not to be outdone, Mastermind gathers the Ultimates, including the rejuvenated Charger, and strikes out at STAR labs in San Fransisco. Inside the secret lab is a sample of the alien nanotech colony known as the Collective. Those that read comics might be aware that for a little bit the Cyborg was made of this stuff. The Mastermind steals some and brings it back to his Mesa Secret Laboratory. A few days work and the Mastermind who is rapidly growing both smarter and more unstable completes the reprogramming of the nanobots so that not only will they help reorder his failing brain but will rebuild his body including his scarred face. His rebuilt body will be a bit Steve Rogers: Better Stronger Faster! Minerva is upset and asks him to not combine the two equally dangerous procedures. Megalomania and Overconfidence set in and the Mastermind presses ahead with his plans. While the Mastermind floats comatose in a bactatank, the other Ultimates approach Minerva to persuade her to sabotage the procedure and return Mastermind to his pre-Plasmoid self. Minerva can't think of anyway she can do this so she declines citing her need "to do no harm to her patient." A week later Mastermind rises from the tank; his apotheosis complete. "I am like a god!" He declares. Minerva looks over at him worried, "We should run some tests." "There is no need for testing, the procedure worked perfectly." the supremely overconfident Mastermind declared as he snapped once more into his protective armor. "You just rebuilt your body and mind from the ground up using unknown alien nanobots...your brain was melting...your armor's cybernetic systems might feedback dangerously with your new chemistry" Minerva rushed to say "There were no mistakes." interrupted Mastermind. Sputtering Minerva googled at him "Don't you want to at least check?" "No." was his reply as the familiar helmet obscured his now perfect features from sight. Hawksmoor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil' Tweaker Posted October 4, 2005 Report Share Posted October 4, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... A buddy reminded me of an old quote from bygone years… GM: As you try to sneak past the guard in what is essentially a Mac Truck, it suddenly strikes him that (makes a perception roll of 18 for the guard) …he really likes vanilla. Sheesh… feel free to do whatever you like to him, he deserves it. From then on, whenever anyone completely blows his perception roll they were considered to be deeply contemplating the joys of vanilla. Koshka 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Posted October 7, 2005 Report Share Posted October 7, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Not totally hysterically funny, but: The scene: The team know the address for a villain's home, but they don't know where it is (only one PC has AK and he failed his roll). One member suggested getting a map, so we have three PCs looking at the map on the hood of one PC's truck: Amy Amazing comes flying down and sees the scene: "Hi guys, sorry I'm late. Traffic was bad and all that." She walks over and looks down at the map. "We hunting for buried treasure?" (I thought it was funny.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zornwil Posted October 7, 2005 Report Share Posted October 7, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I just ran across this one - I guess only some of you will get it: The Metal Men are buying a house (Dr. Magnus died, long long story...). Platinum/Tina is keen to act out human female stereotypical roles. She goes on about how she looks forward to doing cooking, cleaning, and such. One of the PCs/players (who has been on the boards) says "That's fine, Fred." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Posted October 7, 2005 Report Share Posted October 7, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From a brief-lived martial arts campaign. One of the main characters was just utterly slagged by his semi-girlfriend (daughter of the Master the PCs are studying with) after making fun of her attempt at cooking something (and rolling an 18 on the cooking skill). One of the other PCs made this comment as they gazed at the still smoking remains: "Man, that looked painful. Like an orange juice enema." Everyone winced at that particular imagery. Lethosos 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Gillen Posted October 7, 2005 Report Share Posted October 7, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Well, orange juice does have a pretty high acid content. JG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RDU Neil Posted October 7, 2005 Report Share Posted October 7, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... .................................................................. "chirp... chirp" .................................................................... (Just FYI... lately I can relate to Kirby... ) Kirby 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RDU Neil Posted October 7, 2005 Report Share Posted October 7, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From a brief-lived martial arts campaign. One of the main characters was just utterly slagged by his semi-girlfriend (daughter of the Master the PCs are studying with) after making fun of her attempt at cooking something (and rolling an 18 on the cooking skill). One of the other PCs made this comment as they gazed at the still smoking remains: "Man, that looked painful. Like an orange juice enema." Everyone winced at that particular imagery. We had a fantasy campaign where one character attempted a to brew beer. His first attempt was a 17 rolled failure. We all got a good laugh at the nasty taste endured by our characters as they sampled it. In a second game, he tried again... and rolled an 18! With this attempt, he inadvertently poisoned half the Duke's party... (not lethal, just sick)... and after many years in that campaign, the joke was always there that the Duke Tey (my character) still had a few kegs of the now legendary brew, and sold it to the local dwarves as solvent/paint thinner/grease cleaner... whatever. That mythical brew lasted years longer than the character who created it. death tribble 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Funksaw Posted October 8, 2005 Report Share Posted October 8, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... PC1 is encouraging PC2 to return PC3's flirtation: PC1 grabs two bottles of scotch and arranges them in a cross: "The power of scotch compels you! The power of scotch compels you!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GestaltBennie Posted October 8, 2005 Report Share Posted October 8, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... During last night's Pulp Hero session (the full write-up will appear in a few days in the Billy Deighton thread, but here's a taste). As we're being pursued by undead ambulance workers. Countess's Player: "Can I seduce the undead?" death tribble 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted October 10, 2005 Report Share Posted October 10, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Mitarbeit uses her powers to charm a used-car salesmen into giving her an SUV. She drives her new car to where the rest of the team is waiting. Mitarbeit: Look everyone! I got a Hummer! Vilkacis: Apparently, so did the dealer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Anomaly Posted October 10, 2005 Report Share Posted October 10, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... In Saturday's game, a couple members of the team are meeting with a high-ranking VIPER member, incognito, during a function being held at the Scarab Club in Milennium City. Sentinel, the team's power armor wearer, stations himself on a nearby rooftop "just in case" something goes wrong or VIPER gets any "funny ideas." It turns out that the VIPER member had the same idea, and there's a VIPER aircav agent also stationed on the rooftop. After a bit of "strange cats sizing each other up" behaviors, Sentinel and the VIPER aircav agent come to the conclusion that (a) they're both there to do the same type of job and ( there's nothing to be gained from starting a fight with the other guy just this moment. Sentinel is also moderately infamous inside VIPER circles because, before he was piloting it, the suit of alien power armor he wears was in the hands of VIPER. He's the main reason it's not in their hands any more, and they really do not like him much. So, after some uncomfortable silence, the VIPER aircav agent tries to strike up a conversation with Sentinel, and is rather unsubtle about making a bid to get him to "come back" to VIPER. VIPER: "I really don't understand why you left VIPER in the first place. You put your life on the line every day, and for what? Public adoration? That and two bucks will get you a cup of coffee. The rewards for being a member of VIPER are much higher than veneration by the masses." Sentinel: "I make $300,000 a year. How much are you pulling down?" VIPER: (more silence) "There are a lot of perks for being part of VIPER, the sorts of things that, as a superhero, you just don't get to do. That's a much bigger incentive than mere money." Sentinel: "One of my teammates is the avatar of the goddess of Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll. How do you think that compares to your perks?" VIPER: (long pause) "I think we should keep our minds on the job were supposed to be doing up here." (lapses into silence) ---- (One of Sentinel's teammates, Scarab, is a multiformer and most of her alternate forms are based on one of the gods of the Egyptian pantheon. One of those forms is that of Hathor. ) Manic Typist, Haven Walkur, Lord Zod and 5 others 6 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susano Posted October 10, 2005 Report Share Posted October 10, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... VIPER: "I really don't understand why you left VIPER in the first place. You put your life on the line every day, and for what? Public adoration? That and two bucks will get you a cup of coffee. The rewards for being a member of VIPER are much higher than veneration by the masses." Sentinel: "I make $300,000 a year. How much are you pulling down?" VIPER: (more silence) "There are a lot of perks for being part of VIPER, the sorts of things that, as a superhero, you just don't get to do. That's a much bigger incentive than mere money." Sentinel: "One of my teammates is the avatar of the goddess of Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll. How do you think that compares to your perks?" VIPER: (long pause) "I think we should keep our minds on the job were supposed to be doing up here." (lapses into silence) Crud... You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Dr. Anomaly again. Satyrkat 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Anomaly Posted October 10, 2005 Report Share Posted October 10, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Crud... I appreciate the thought, Susano. And I can wait. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basil Posted October 11, 2005 Report Share Posted October 11, 2005 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Sentinel: "One of my teammates is the avatar of the goddess of Sex' date=' Drugs, and Rock & Roll. How do you think that compares to [i']your[/i] perks?" (One of Sentinel's teammates, Scarab, is a multiformer and most of her alternate forms are based on one of the gods of the Egyptian pantheon. One of those forms is that of Hathor. ) The Egyptians had a Goddess of Rock & Roll?? Now that's Precognition! Duke Bushido 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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