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Darren Watts

Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

In our new Fantasy HERO game Wednesday, the group's Half-Orc Cleric received a couple of pet NPCs: a tough Orc bodyguard and a rather sniffy cloistered scribe who wrote down *everything* the Cleric said (right down to 'Stop writing down everything I say') and otherwise antagonized people for various things, including the "peasant" like behavior of the female PCs. It got to where the Cleric volunteered to spend a gold piece for him to get entertained by a prostitute (which shows you how great a Cleric he is) but the scribe righteously refused.

 

Anyway, the group was on the road and in the middle of the night some demonic assassin bypassed the camp watch. The Rogue PC looked around and found the scribe's head roasting in the campfire with his ribcage cut open and stretched (what the Norse would call a 'blood eagle').

 

With this gruesome death, the Rogue immediately ran over to the Cleric's bedroll and had to shake him awake. She said, "Abbot, Abbot! Your scribe is dead!"

 

The Cleric said. "Ah, so my dream came true. I'm checking my sword for bloodstains."

 

JG

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The last batch from Eric, Master of Monotone.

 

(after he'd taken out some guards at a party, and the group was deciding if he should kill the guards to cover his tracks, Eric discusses his character's motivation.)

Eric : I'm not a serial killer, I'm just bored!

 

Eric : You have about as much loyalty as.. I don't know. What's something with low loyalty?

 

(after referring to someone, in character, as a Madam, to which they seemed to take offense)

Eric : .. cause you kinda look like a 'Madam'.

 

Eric : It's always an evil cult! Why can't some nice people try to take over the world?

 

(regarding my character's role in an Epic D&D game)

Eric : You know stuff about things.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From our group's 'change of pace' venture into the fantasy genre yesterday...

 

Things you do really do not want to hear from the young scion of nobility whom you fished out of the harbor, where some evil sorts had obviously left him to drown:

 

"My true name is... Emperor Niall VI of the Rystani Empire."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Secret Service liason "Oh' date=' then there's no problem; you're just extraditing illegal aliens."[/quote']

 

We once exorcised a villain in Stronghold to send the demon half away and set the human soul within to rest. The administrator had us fill out a "prisoner tranfer form" (transferring said demon to hell, apparently)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The last batch from Eric, Master of Monotone.

 

Eric : You know stuff about things.

 

Kinda reminds me of a favorite run-on quote from an old friend:

"He's the guy at the place with the stuff and the things and the stuff...."

(it's all in the delivery, trust me)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Happened recently in a Dragonlance D&D 3.5 game I run. The group was fighting some Ogres, and the Wizard waded into melee combat, took a hit, went down to 0.

 

His next action, he cast web, effectively trapping the ogre next to him, and putting him to -1 hp. He got smashed next round.

 

The room burst out in laughter at the consquences of that...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Happened recently in a Dragonlance D&D 3.5 game I run. The group was fighting some Ogres, and the Wizard waded into melee combat, took a hit, went down to 0.

 

His next action, he cast web, effectively trapping the ogre next to him, and putting him to -1 hp. He got smashed next round.

 

The room burst out in laughter at the consquences of that...

hmmm. I didn't know I was in your game :) sounds like my "wizard" tactics.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I guess it happens in every group.

 

Almost forgot to mention something else:

 

Same fight, right after the ogres entered.

 

One of the party's rogues was perched on a statue next to the group's scout, sniping at enemies. The rogue shot at one of the ogres, hit, and yelled "I got one!" The ogre then proceded to walk over and knock him to -3 in one shot. There was much amusement from that. From joy to twitching in less than six seconds...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Eric : You know stuff about things.

Kinda reminds me of a favorite run-on quote from an old friend:

"He's the guy at the place with the stuff and the things and the stuff...."

Articulate, they aren't.

 

;)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

hmmm. I didn't know I was in your game :) sounds like my "wizard" tactics.

 

 

WAAAAYYY back when, I had a MU with an 18 int, 17 str. He eventually obtained a Staff of the Magi, iirc, which allowed him to cast "Growth" basically at will.

 

The DM let me get 1d6 from his thrown "daggers" and his effective str iirc was 21. :)

 

I've never been able to think like a pure "Magician".

:D

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

WAAAAYYY back when, I had a MU with an 18 int, 17 str. He eventually obtained a Staff of the Magi, iirc, which allowed him to cast "Growth" basically at will.

 

The DM let me get 1d6 from his thrown "daggers" and his effective str iirc was 21. :)

 

I've never been able to think like a pure "Magician".

:D

Our Iron Kingdoms game has a sorcerer who is "nobility" from a region where all the locals think of themselves as nobility. Every damn farmer has a family history and a coat of arms. Arrogant to the extreme. He is a wuss who has fine clothes, and a very charming demeanor (CHA 20) until you get to know him (***-Hole). He also has a rapier that he has no training with. He's like -6 to hit and, due to his 6 STR, -2 damage. But he insists he can fence and threatens people with it all the time. We've joked that it's just a hilt glued to the scabbard. :D

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

In our Dark Conspiracy-esque game, the PC Travis Trent (professor of archaeology) has recently acknowledged, at long last, his feelings for his secretary of many years, Terri.

 

It also turns out that Terri is in fact, a princess of the Shidhe...also a recent revelation.

 

Tonight, the party ended up negotiating over some items of arcane import with an older gentleman collector who, it transpires, is a dragon currently in human form.

 

The dragon makes a comment to Terri along the lines of "It's good to see you again, your highness."

 

Travis, to Terri: "You're already aquainted?"

 

Terri: "Hm? Oh, yes...of course! I'd nearly forgotten that night...but then again, it was a while back. How long ago was that?" "Eight thousand? No, wait...almost ten thousand years ago, wasn't it?"

 

Travis, to the rest of the party: "This is what I get for dating an older woman."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

After Rain has just explained to the rest of the party the significance and use of a woven braid of sweet grass soaked in certain resins that has come into their possession:

 

Dan: "So, with this thing, it's...'In case of emergancy, break glass'?"

 

Rain: "No...more like, 'In case of Apocalypse, smoke weed.' "

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

:thumbup:

In our Dark Conspiracy-esque game, the PC Travis Trent (professor of archaeology) has recently acknowledged, at long last, his feelings for his secretary of many years, Terri.

 

It also turns out that Terri is in fact, a princess of the Shidhe...also a recent revelation.

 

Tonight, the party ended up negotiating over some items of arcane import with an older gentleman collector who, it transpires, is a dragon currently in human form.

 

The dragon makes a comment to Terri along the lines of "It's good to see you again, your highness."

 

Travis, to Terri: "You're already aquainted?"

 

Terri: "Hm? Oh, yes...of course! I'd nearly forgotten that night...but then again, it was a while back. How long ago was that?" "Eight thousand? No, wait...almost ten thousand years ago, wasn't it?"

 

Travis, the the rest of the party: "This is what I get for dating an older woman."

 

 

Would You PLEASE move your group to Spokane? Pretty Please with Sugar on top?:D

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

"Hail Horses, give us your men."

 

(Horses all rear up and buck their riders off)

 

Probably funnier to our group becuase of the longstanding encounter-riders-on-the-road quote, "Hail and give us your horses."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Some non-Eric gems from games I've been in:

 

"Turn out that Ogre!"

 

"Okay, you take a hard right to the left.."

 

"Oh, I don't think they trust me as much as I think they do."

 

"Suspicions mean knowing!"

 

"I don't like to be dead. It's cold, and there's no money there."

 

"Dude! Wrestling is awesome!"

 

"I'm in an evil cult, and I think he has issues."

 

 

From the campaign with my swashbuckler..

 

NPC Lord : "I sent ten men to recover it."

Female Player : " Are these ten men available?"

All in the delivery.

 

GM : "Allright, you all walk towards the castle."

Bounty Hunter's Player : "I stroll."

Me, the Swasbuckler : "I strut."

Faerie Mage Player : "I meander."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Iron Kingdoms campaign.

 

The party is travelling to a ruined keep at thse scene of many horrific battles. We believe a necromancer is "raising" an undead army. We're supposed to report what's going on.

 

Coming to a great stone bridge, Sturm, my Ogrun fighter, jokes "its a Troll Bridge".

Sure enough.

A troll attacks the party. Grabbing one of the humans and jumping back into the water. The party springs to action!

Drago the Fighter: "I dismount my horse, draw my hammer, and leap towards the troll!"

Raynard the Sorcerer: "I cast mage armor!"

Juvok the Cleric: "I summon a celestial Goat!"

 

 

 

Fighting the Troll, who at some points covers himself in stone. (dunno how he did it either) but Sturm who'd been saving the guy who was taken off the bridge now enters combat.

After all my allies weapons had "tinked" off his stone form, I roll a critical strike and do close to 60 pts of damage. The stone shell cracks and my war cleaver pierces his torso.

 

Sturm: "Boo."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

We're playing D&D, we've gotten into an underground complex of interconnected hallways and small rooms, and for some reason the game promptly degenerated into Scooby-Doo "everyone split up" mode. Our GM is going over some things on the map with one of the female players, when his wife tries to dive in with a question about something her character is doing. The GM is busy with the other player, so he ignores the question. His wife isn't paying attention to this side conversation with the other player, so she asks again. Another player tells her "He's doing [other player's name] ... wait, I mean ...."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Queen Aura: "Now Earthlings, I shall demonstrate your impotence!"

 

Flesh Gordon: "Impotence? Why does everyone keep talking about my impotence!?"

 

Hyborg: "That's not what she meant, Flesh."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

:thumbup:

 

 

Would You PLEASE move your group to Spokane? Pretty Please with Sugar on top?:D

you live in Spokane? My parents moved to Elk last year (20 minutes north of you, population 42)

I'll have to let you know when I'm going up there next. Then I'll add you to my collection of HERO Boarder's I have eaten..er, met!

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

"There's an easy way and a hard way to resolve this. The hard way involves ketchup."

 

 

-----

 

 

"How complex a goddess do you need to be if your portfolio is one color of the rainbow? I mean, c'mon!"

 

 

-----

 

 

"All the parts were made in Korea, except the labels that say 'Made in Korea'."

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