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[Humour]SciFi TV Quotes


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Re: [Humour]SciFi TV Quotes

 

Another goodie from B5:

 

Lennier and Sheridan are in an elevator together following a "get-really-aq-

uianted" session with Delenn. Lennier looks at Sheridan as if he wants to

say something to him but turns away a couple of times before finally say-

ing:

 

"Woo-Hoo?!"

 

Gotta love B5 :thumbup:

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Re: [Humour]SciFi TV Quotes

 

 

 

(on Ace's skill with building explosives and having one go off early)

The Doctor: "Ace...?"

Ace: "I think the timer needs work."

The Doctor: "One of these days we're going to have a nice long talk about acceptable safety standards."

And from earlier in the episode: "Ace, give me some of that Niitro-Nine you're not carrying!"

 

 

(on Sharaz Jek)

Peri: "Doctor, he's completely mad."

The Doctor: "And a raving egoist. Said my mind was nearly the equal of his. Such incredible conceit."

 

From the same episoode:

 

Stotz: OPEN THIS DOOR!

The Doctor: Sorry, seems to be locked.

Stotz; I'll kill you for this!

The Doctor: Not a very convincing threat, actually, since I'm going to die soon anyway.

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Re: [Humour]SciFi TV Quotes

 

And from earlier in the episode: "Ace, give me some of that Niitro-Nine you're not carrying!"

 

Okay, Samuraiko's geek factor shows through here...

 

The "Give me some of that Nitro-Nine you're not carrying" comes from the episode "Remembrance of the Daleks," while my quote on "acceptable safety standards" is from "Battlefield."

 

I love Sylvester McCoy as the Doctor...

 

Michelle

aka

Samuraiko

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Re: [Humour]SciFi TV Quotes

 

I love Sylvester McCoy as the Doctor...

 

Remmeber the first McCoy epiisode, Time and the Rani? not a very good story, but the newly-regenrated and somewhat confused Doctor had some wonderful mangling of the English language in that episode. Apparenlty it was intended to be one of his Doctor's schticks (much like Eccleston's frequent use and misuse of the word "Fantastic!"), but either the producers or McCoy himself decided they didn't like it and it was dropped.

 

It was a pity that the Rani was never used to her full potential -- a character who sought knowledge but didn't give the slightest cocnern to the conequences of her quest for it. Now, presumably, she's dead -- lost in the Time War.

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Re: [Humour]SciFi TV Quotes

 

Personally I loved the Rani as a villain. Watching her mock the whole Doctor/Master rivalry was great in "Mark of the Rani." I would really enjoyed seeing her used more often, or even better, can you imagine pitting her along with the Valeyard against the Doctor?

 

*shudder*

 

She does get some great lines...

 

(on the Master)

"He'd get dizzy trying to walk in a straight line."

 

Doctor: "Can't say I appreciate your taste in clothes, doesn't do a thing for you."

Rani: "Your regeneration's not too attractive either, but unlike me, you're stuck with what you've got."

 

And I would like to see her and McCoy as antagonists again, this time with a good script by someone like Ben Aaronovitch...

 

Michelle

aka

Samuraiko

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Re: [Humour]SciFi TV Quotes

 

Doctor: "Can't say I appreciate your taste in clothes, doesn't do a thing for you."

Rani: "Your regeneration's not too attractive either, but unlike me, you're stuck with what you've got."

Before the whole "Who is the Doctor anyway?" question was raised in Season 25, the Doctor said he was the same age as the Rani and they went to school together. which implied that she, the Master and the Doctor had a significant past pre-series. There might even have been a relationship that went horribly wrong.

 

Then "Remembrance of the Daleks" and "Silver Nemesis" called into question the Doctor's true identity and nature, and a past connection to the Rani suddenly looked a lot less plausible.

 

Back in the Pertwee era, when the producers planned to introduce the Master they originally thought of making the character a woman called the Controller, but backed off when they decided that audiences would not accept that level of evil from a woman. Then Terry Nation and Jaqueline Pearce went on to specuatularly prove them wrong in Blakes 7 with Servalan, one of the most memorable (and sensual) villains in SF TV history. I still think that if they ever bring the Master back, the Master should be a woman.

 

I was planning just that for the "Sensei who" fanfic series, having the Doctor encounter a female Master in an alternative universe (whose Doctor has made himself the Dalek Emperor) and having her follow him into his universe. The sexual tnesion alone would be worth the price of admission.

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Re: [Humour]SciFi TV Quotes

 

From Firefly:

Mal:- I'm sure you've all noticed the guy up there with the relly big gun. I'm not saying you were herd to find, but he didn't want to come anyway and now he's looking to kill someone ..... anyone'

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Re: [Humour]SciFi TV Quotes

 

Before the whole "Who is the Doctor anyway?" question was raised in Season 25, the Doctor said he was the same age as the Rani and they went to school together. which implied that she, the Master and the Doctor had a significant past pre-series. There might even have been a relationship that went horribly wrong.

 

Then "Remembrance of the Daleks" and "Silver Nemesis" called into question the Doctor's true identity and nature, and a past connection to the Rani suddenly looked a lot less plausible.

 

Back in the Pertwee era, when the producers planned to introduce the Master they originally thought of making the character a woman called the Controller, but backed off when they decided that audiences would not accept that level of evil from a woman. Then Terry Nation and Jaqueline Pearce went on to specuatularly prove them wrong in Blakes 7 with Servalan, one of the most memorable (and sensual) villains in SF TV history. I still think that if they ever bring the Master back, the Master should be a woman.

 

I was planning just that for the "Sensei who" fanfic series, having the Doctor encounter a female Master in an alternative universe (whose Doctor has made himself the Dalek Emperor) and having her follow him into his universe. The sexual tnesion alone would be worth the price of admission.

 

The idea was that the Doctor, the Master, and the Rani were all in the same class at whatever passes for "University" (Romana was a younger class apparently). The Doctor was the crusader, the Master the megalomaniac, and the Rani the amoral scientist.

 

As for any kind of "relationship" between the Rani and the Doctor, as nifty as the idea sounds, the Time Lords are not known for that kind of relationship (unless you remember the really cool computer commercial that Tom Baker and Lalla Ward did as the Doctor and Romana, I've got it on VHS). And the idea of the Doctor being the third of the ancient Triumvirate is not impossible, not if someone as bright as the Rani decided to take advantage of his knowledge...

 

Michelle

aka

Samuraiko

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Re: [Humour]SciFi TV Quotes

 

The idea was that the Doctor' date=' the Master, and the Rani were all in the same class at whatever passes for "University" (Romana was a younger class apparently). The Doctor was the crusader, the Master the megalomaniac, and the Rani the amoral scientist.[/quote']

That's an interesting dynamic, when you think about it.

 

As for any kind of "relationship" between the Rani and the Doctor, as nifty as the idea sounds, the Time Lords are not known for that kind of relationship (unless you remember the really cool computer commercial that Tom Baker and Lalla Ward did as the Doctor and Romana, I've got it on VHS).

 

Why wouldn't Time Lords be sexual beings? They reproduce sexually, after all -- they aren't cloned or artifically bred.

 

That the Doctor hasn't been shagging all his female companions has more to do with his sense of ethics than with a lack of sexual interest on his part.

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Actually, they don't, not according to most of the New Adventures novels... they have a genetic loom that they use, as now-accepted-as-canon history has it that ever since they developed time travel, they lost the ability to reproduce normally.

 

Yeah, I know, there's the whole Susan's-his-granddaughter thing, but I'm not totally buying it.

 

"So, do you have a girlfriend?"

"No."

"Boyfriend?"

"No."

"Model railway set?"

"Somewhere."

(Bernice Summerfield and the Doctor, Love and War)

 

Michelle

aka

Samuraiko

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Re: [Humour]SciFi TV Quotes

 

Actually, they don't, not according to most of the New Adventures novels... they have a genetic loom that they use, as now-accepted-as-canon history has it that ever since they developed time travel, they lost the ability to reproduce normally.

 

If this is the case, I feel sorry for Rose. She seems to really want to get the Doctor into the sack at least once.

 

I don't know if the genetic loom bit is still considered canon, though, given the directions that Russell Davies has been taking both the series and the character. It implies that when the Doctor dies the speices will become extinct.

 

And several one-shot characters have had interactions with the Doctor that would be interpreted as sexual overtures. Apparently hre's even going to be hit on my a man in one of the future episodes. (Don't forget that Davies produced the original UK version of Queer as Folk, the pioneering gay drama).

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Re: [Humour]SciFi TV Quotes

 

More Firefly goodness:

 

Zoe: Preacher -- don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killing?

Book: Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps.

 

River: No power in the 'verse can stop me.

 

[Zoe, Wash, and Jayne burst in on Mal, grappling with a much larger man. Zoe puts her hand up.]

Zoe: Jayne. This is something the captain has to do for himself.

Mal: No. No, it's not!

Zoe: Oh.

[Zoe, Wash and Jayne empty their weapons]

 

And, of course:

 

Jayne: I'll be in my bunk.

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Re: [Humour]SciFi TV Quotes

 

I'm surprised Stargate SG-1 or Red Dwarf or Mystery Science Theater 3000 haven't seen much here. Well since RD MST3K are comedy series maybe I should leave them out here and stick with SG-1.

 

Jack: Te'lek take point and look scary.

 

Extra: But Anubis is a god!

Te'lek: False god. Dead false god.

 

Jack: Wait, isn't he on our list of powerful DEAD bad guys?

 

Well how about two from the MST3K movie:

 

Crow: Well look at that "breach hull, I'll die" even had it underlined.

 

Crow: Believe me Mike I calculated the odds of this succeeding vs the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid; and I went ahead anyway.

(I use this to explain the difference between INT and WIS in D&D)

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Guest cool babe

Re: [Humour]SciFi TV Quotes

 

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!i love scfi did anyone see Blaire Witch Project part 2?????????// aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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Re: [Humour]SciFi TV Quotes

 

I actually find more science happening in Red Dwarf, than in Star Trek :)

 

"Don't give me any of that 'Star Trek' crap. It's too early in the morning."

- Dave Lister

 

"Boarding this vessel is an act of war. Ergo we surrender."

- Rimmer

 

"All in all, 100% succesfull trip."

"But sir, we lost Mr Rimmer."

"All in all, 100% succesfull trip."

- Cat & Kryten

 

"Come on bud, you're not doing anything I wouldn't do!"

"What? You'd sacrifice your life for the sake of the crew?"

"No, I'd sacrifice your life for the sake of the crew."

- Cat & Rimmer

 

"I owe Mr.Lister everything sir, if it wasn't for him, I'd be normal."

- Kryten

 

"Frankenstein was the creator, not the monster. It's a common misconception, held by all truly stupid people."

- Kryten

 

"Love is what seperates us from animals "

"No, Lister. What seperates us from animals is that we don't use our tongues to clean our own genitals. "

- Lister & Rimmer

 

I'm not a god, I was misquoted.

- Lister

 

"After intensive investigation (comma) of the markings on the alien pod (comma) it has become clear (comma) to me (comma) that we are dealing (comma) with a species of awesome intellect (colon)."

"Good. Perhaps they might be able to give you a hand with your punctuation."

- Rimmer and Holly

 

"Emergency. Emergency. There's an emergency going on. It's still going on. It's still an emergency. This is an emergency announcement."

- Holly

 

"Come on, what are you, a man or a munchkin?"

"I'm off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz."

- Lister & Rimmer

 

"As the days go by, we face the increasing inevitability that we are alone in a godless, uninhabited, hostile and meaningless universe. Still, you've got to laugh, haven't you?"

- Holly

 

Welcome to Xpress Lifts, descent to floor sixteen. You will be going down two thousand, five hundred and sixty-seven floors and, for a small extra charge, you can enjoy the in-lift movie "Gone With the Wind". If you look to your right and to your left, you will notice there are no exits. In the highly unlikely event of the lift having to make a crash-landing, death is certain. Under your seats you will find a cassette for recording your last-minute testament, and from above your head a bag will drop containing sedatives and cyanide capsules.

- Video of Lift Hostess

 

Our biggest enemy is going space crazy through loneliness. The only thing that helps me maintain my slender grip on reality is the friendship I share with my collection of singing potatoes.

- Holly

 

You either got it or you ain't. Boys, you ain't even close.

- Cat

 

Look, just because it's an armor-plated alien killing machine that salivates unspeakable slobber, doesn't mean it's a bad person. What we've got to do is get it round a table, and put together a solution package : perhaps over tea and biscuits.

- Rimmer, after having all his anger removed

 

Why don't we go down to the ammunition stores, get the nuclear warheads and then strap one to my head? I'll nuke the smegger to oblivion!

- Lister

 

I think we're all beginning to lose sight of the real issue here, which is: what are we going to call ourselves? I think it comes down to a choice between "The League Against Salivating Monsters" or, my own personal preference, which is "The Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society." One drawback with that--the abbreviation is CLITORIS.

- Rimmer

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Re: [Humour]SciFi TV Quotes

 

"What do ya want, the long or short version?"

"Long."

"You're finished."

"What's the short version?"

"Bye." -- Holly, Lister, and the Cat

 

Which reminds me of the only memorable quote in the second Scooby Doo movie :-

Shaggy: We're gonna die!

Daphne: Think positive!

Shaggy: We're gonna die quickly!

 

And back on The Dwarf :-

Holly: Rude alert! Rude alert! An electrical fire has knocked out my voice-recognition unicycle! Many Wurlitzers are missing from my database! Abandon shop! This is not a daffodil! Repeat, this is not a daffodil!

Rimmer: Well, thankfully, Holly's unaffected.

 

Space Corp Directives :-

No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity

 

Any officer caught sniffing the saddle of the excercise bicycle in the women's gym will be discharged without trial.

 

By joining SpaceCorp, each individual tacitly consents to give up his inalienable rights to life, liberty, and adequate toilet facilities.

 

In an emergency situation involving two or more officers of equal rank, seniority will be granted to whichver officer can program a vcr.

 

Work done by an officer's doppleganger in a parallel universe cannot be claimed as overtime.

 

During temporal disturbances, no questions shall be raised about any crewmember whose timesheet shows him or her clocking off 187 years before he clocked on.

 

Kryten: "Well, Space Corps Directive 195 clearly states that in an emergency power situation, a holo-grammatic crew member must lay down his life in order that the living crew members might survive."

Rimmer: "Yes, but Rimmer Directive 271 states just as clearly, "No chance you metal bastard

-- Kryten

 

You're about as useful as a condom machine in the Vatican.

-- Rimmer

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Re: [Humour]SciFi TV Quotes

 

A few personal faves that haven't already been mentioned:

 

Firefly -

 

Mal: Looks like we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?

Zoe: Big Damn Heroes, Sir!

Mal: Ain't we just.

 

Saffron: All you gotta do to be a rich woman, hon, is...get over it.

Zoe: All right. [decks Saffron] I'm in.

 

Mal: Mercy is the mark of a great man. [stabs Atherton] Guess I'm just a good man. [stabs him again] Well, I'm okay.

 

Wash/Steggy: Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!

 

Mal: They tell you never to strike a man with a closed fist, but it is on occasion hillarious.

 

Simon: I can't keep track of her when she's *not* incorporealy possessing a spaceship.

 

Inara: What, you didn't see it coming?

 

Mal: Well, my days of not taking you serious are certainly coming to a middle.

 

 

Red Dwarf -

 

Cat: This sounds like a twelve change-of-underwear trip.

 

Lister: One swift knee in the happy sacks and it'll go down like anyone else.

 

Cat: I've never been this near to a woman before. It makes me want to do something. I don't know what it is, but whatever it is I want to do a lot of it!

 

Lister: There's no such thing as Silicon Heaven.

Kryten: Then where do all the calculators go?

 

Caligula: Rasputin, bring in the bucket of soapy frogs and remove his trousers.

 

"Ace" Rimmer: Smoke me a kipper, Skipper, I'll be back for breakfast!

 

Lister: He thinks we're either a threat, food, or a mate. He's gonna either kill us, eat us, or hump us.

 

 

B5 -

 

Londo: Okay, we made a mistake. I'm sorry. Here, open my wrist.

Garibaldi: Centauri don't have major arteries in their wrist.

Londo: Of course we don't. What do you think, I'm stupid?

 

Ivanova: Why does my mouth always taste like old carpet in the morning?

Computer: Unknown. Checking medical logs.

 

Londo: Vir, there is a terrible truth: As one accumulates power, one loses friends. One only has those who wish to use you, and those you wish to use. And yet, in all of this, you have somehow managed to walk through the corridors of power and not be touched. I can only assume you have not been paying attention. And still, the hideous truth is, you are the closest thing I have to a friend. I'm as shocked and dismayed by this as you are, but there it is. I need a friend, Vir, and I need a patriot, and you are both. Will you help me, please?"

 

G'Kar: And they made a very satisfying thump when they hit the floor.

 

Sheridan: So you believe all this?

Sinclair: I believe it.

Marcus: If Entil'Zha believes it, I believe it.

Ivanova: I'll be in the car.

 

Zathras: Zathras is used to being beast of burden to other people's needs. Very sad life. Probably have very sad death, but at least there is symmetry.

 

 

Dr Who -

 

UNIT soldier: Just once I'd like to fight an alien menace that wasn't invulnerable to our weapons.

 

Doctor: If people see you are unarmed, they'll never hurt you...nine times out of ten.

 

 

Trek TNG -

 

Worf: Good tea. Nice house.

 

 

And of course, the one that comes up in almost every game session, regardless of genre, where anyone has psionics, persuation, bluffing, whatever:

 

"These aren't the droids you're looking for."

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Re: [Humour]SciFi TV Quotes

 

And related...

 

After a long game of I spy...

Franklin: And that is when I shot him your honor.

 

The only valid respone to those likely to sing the Modern Major General song ;-p

 

And now I'm reminded of another Worf quote - from the Q-pidity episode I think...

Worf: Sir! I am NOT a merry men!

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