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"To Protect and Annoy"


McCoy
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Manhattan, an alternate Marvel Universe. Following 9/11 the Federal Government has requested the Avengers move to Washington. The Fantastic Four, and a number of unsanctioned heroes (including the PC's) are remaining in New York. With the Fantastic Four out of town so often, the Mayor is under political pressure to get a resident superteam.

 

I'm thinking someone between the Great Lakes Avengers and the Mystery Men. Their primary purpose will be to annoy the PC's, like showing up after the combat and taking over "OK amatures, the authorized Heroes are here, the uniformed officer will take your statement then you're free to leave." Occasionally they will need to be rescued by the PC's.

 

Any suggestions, other than the GLA and MM, who could fill this slot? Doesn't have to be established Marvel characters, can file the serial numbers off something from somewhere else.

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Re: "To Protect and Annoy"

 

http://www.toonopedia.com/inferior.htm

Maybe the Inferior Five or a variation there of?

 

If you're going to file off the numbers, you could use even traditionally competent heroes. Example, alter the Superfriends by exagerating what you see as their worse traits, down power them a bit, and go from there.

 

Stupendous Man- Born on a planet with a culture so smugly self righteous about its own utopian nature that Karma itself must have caused it to explode, a young infant landed on Earth to be raised by Johnathon and Martha Cant. The Cants, true to their name, were quick to teach their adopted son right and wrong to the point of anal retentiveness. Now as Stupendous Man, he has vast power, but "Green Rock Radiation" renders him helpless... that's right, all it has to be is green and a rock. A spray painted hunk of granite causes his powers to begin fading, and emeralds make him fall over and want to puke. Folks would have more sympathy for him when this happened except, well, he's such a morally pretentious and pedantic blowhard!

 

Leatherwing and Sparrow- Fancying himself the "Globe's greatest Detective", Leatherwing is no such thing... he is merely the luckiest guesser in the world, which he tries to pass of as logic no matter how stupid it sounds "The crime was at Sea... C is a vitamin, Oranges are rich in vitamins and are fruits, fruits are plants, this MUST be the work of my old foe Poison Oakey!" He has the annoying talent of taking credit for someone else's deduction or acting like he knew all along and was just waiting for you to figure it out on your own. The only one really dumb enough to fall for that is the little suck up partner of his, Sparrow.

 

Sea King- When he discovered the duties of rulership were too hard, this Atlantean prince decided to become a superhero instead where no one really required him to work. His powers are nearly useless out of water, which is why he prefers out of water missions. That way he can tell a team mate "My power over fish isn't working...." forcing that team mate to handle things for both of them. Life am good.

 

Wonderous Woman- Dripping in bondage gear, this super heroine takes immediate offense to any who would dare suggest she lives 'that kind of lifestyle just because of the way I'm dressed'. She is almost as bad as Stupendous Man when it comes to moralizing as such, and is quick to point out she comes from an elightened society island of womyn where peace reigns. Which is probably why she came to Man's world, so she could get her jollies tying people up and smacking them around ... well, that and men have it coming due to centuries of repressing females. Of course, in a world full of superstrong villains, she's as likely to be tied up by her own gear as tie them up, and for some reason this never disuades her.

She also makes a mean pot of coffee according to her teammates.

 

Adjust or alter (a little or drastically) the above ideas to fit your campaign and your own group's sense of humor etc.

 

Other options include:

 

Black Volt- Not that bad a guy, but the others NEVER let him use his electric powers, insisting he instead fill in the role of injecting 'hip hop flava' with pronouncements that are essentially backing up or repeating what the others said, but more in keeping with slang. This makes him cranky when off the clock. "C'mon, Black Volt, say 'That is off the hook, just once'" "NO, now go away!"

 

Mac Hawk- A sterotypical New Yorker (in the worst way), suffers from a sort of 'small man' syndrome because his ONLY power is wings. Constantly trying to prove himself and gets in others faces, "You got a problem with me? Do you? Cause if you do I got a wing in the face for you pally! Huh?" The others usually pull him off, but sometimes they just let whoever beat the snot out of him. It doesn't cool his pigeon like "I'm walking here!" attitude though.

 

 

EDIT: Of course, you'll want to change the name of the team, how about "Superior Friends" or "The Righteous Legion!"

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Re: "To Protect and Annoy"

 

Howabout just a team of SHIELD-surplus SWAT Mandroids?

 

Or...howabout some of the Watchmen? Use the names, give new powers and personalities. A new "Dr. Manhattan" would be a natural to lead the group.

 

Hmm...

 

Dr. Manhattan - Doc Savage style man of action and science. Gadgets, team leader.

 

Nite Owl - Batman. Field leader.

 

Rorschach - Ability to turn into a "Darkforce blob" - basically a big, inky-black amoeba that can shape-shift, etc.

 

Ramesses - (who Ozymandias originally refered to, IIRC) - watered-down Egyptian Thor/Hercules-type.

 

Spectre - phasing.

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Re: "To Protect and Annoy"

 

http://www.toonopedia.com/inferior.htm

Maybe the Inferior Five or a variation there of?

Amazed i didn't think of the Inferior Five before. Just a few days ago the boys and I were reminiscing about the time Dumb Bunny left a note on the HQ door: "If you're our fan club, the key is under the mat. If you're a villian, don't read this!"

 

If you're going to file off the numbers, you could use even traditionally competent heroes. Example, alter the Superfriends by exagerating what you see as their worse traits, down power them a bit, and go from there.

 

Stupendous Man- Born on a planet with a culture so smugly self righteous about its own utopian nature that Karma itself must have caused it to explode, a young infant landed on Earth to be raised by Johnathon and Martha Cant. The Cants, true to their name, were quick to teach their adopted son right and wrong to the point of anal retentiveness. Now as Stupendous Man, he has vast power, but "Green Rock Radiation" renders him helpless... that's right, all it has to be is green and a rock. A spray painted hunk of granite causes his powers to begin fading, and emeralds make him fall over and want to puke. Folks would have more sympathy for him when this happened except, well, he's such a morally pretentious and pedantic blowhard!

 

Leatherwing and Sparrow- Fancying himself the "Globe's greatest Detective", Leatherwing is no such thing... he is merely the luckiest guesser in the world, which he tries to pass of as logic no matter how stupid it sounds "The crime was at Sea... C is a vitamin, Oranges are rich in vitamins and are fruits, fruits are plants, this MUST be the work of my old foe Poison Oakey!" He has the annoying talent of taking credit for someone else's deduction or acting like he knew all along and was just waiting for you to figure it out on your own. The only one really dumb enough to fall for that is the little suck up partner of his, Sparrow.

 

Sea King- When he discovered the duties of rulership were too hard, this Atlantean prince decided to become a superhero instead where no one really required him to work. His powers are nearly useless out of water, which is why he prefers out of water missions. That way he can tell a team mate "My power over fish isn't working...." forcing that team mate to handle things for both of them. Life am good.

 

Wonderous Woman- Dripping in bondage gear, this super heroine takes immediate offense to any who would dare suggest she lives 'that kind of lifestyle just because of the way I'm dressed'. She is almost as bad as Stupendous Man when it comes to moralizing as such, and is quick to point out she comes from an elightened society island of womyn where peace reigns. Which is probably why she came to Man's world, so she could get her jollies tying people up and smacking them around ... well, that and men have it coming due to centuries of repressing females. Of course, in a world full of superstrong villains, she's as likely to be tied up by her own gear as tie them up, and for some reason this never disuades her.

She also makes a mean pot of coffee according to her teammates.

Not only is that the funnyest thing I read today, and I owe you Rep for this btw, but now I'm sitting her chortling over the idea of a verbal flamefest breaking out over whether Krypton or Themascara is more Utopian (while the villians they are suppost to be apprehending make their getaway, of course).

 

Mac Hawk- A sterotypical New Yorker (in the worst way)' date=' suffers from a sort of 'small man' syndrome because his ONLY power is wings. Constantly trying to prove himself and gets in others faces, "You got a problem with me? Do you? Cause if you do I got a wing in the face for you pally! Huh?" The others usually pull him off, but sometimes they just let whoever beat the snot out of him. It doesn't cool his pigeon like "I'm walking here!" attitude though.[/quote']

Why do I see Joe peshi playing him in the movie? Of course, he thinks he's Al Pachino.

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Re: "To Protect and Annoy"

 

Have a New York Avengers with all wanna-bes. Here's your Marvel roster:US Agent' date=' Beta Ray Bill, Warmachine, Doc Samson, and three Spiderwomen.[/quote']

War Machine and Beta Ray Bill are more second rate, I'm looking for third rate or less.

 

Doc Samson is a good idea.

 

These are going to be offically sanctioned heroes, with police powers and everything. Is even New York City insane enough to give USAgent a badge?

 

Thanks again.

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Re: "To Protect and Annoy"

 

If you don't mind changing his alliance, why not use Foxbat? Perhaps he's turned over a new leaf (if you can't beat the good guys, join them!) and is doing community service as a probational hero. If he can go one year without committing a crime, he's effectively served his time. Imagine the excitement on his face when he gets to pose for pictures with the PCs. "Hey guys, now that we're all buddies, we should see what we each look like without our masks on! What do you think?"

 

Just some thoughts.

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Re: "To Protect and Annoy"

 

Howabout just a team of SHIELD-surplus SWAT Mandroids?

 

Or...howabout some of the Watchmen? Use the names, give new powers and personalities. A new "Dr. Manhattan" would be a natural to lead the group.

 

Hmm...

 

Dr. Manhattan - Doc Savage style man of action and science. Gadgets, team leader.

 

Nite Owl - Batman. Field leader.

 

Rorschach - Ability to turn into a "Darkforce blob" - basically a big, inky-black amoeba that can shape-shift, etc.

 

Ramesses - (who Ozymandias originally refered to, IIRC) - watered-down Egyptian Thor/Hercules-type.

 

Spectre - phasing.

This has some real possibilities, but I thik I'm going to save that for a more serious group.

 

Thank you again.

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Re: "To Protect and Annoy"

 

I love it.

 

Rep for you.

 

 

If you're going to file off the numbers, you could use even traditionally competent heroes. Example, alter the Superfriends by exagerating what you see as their worse traits, down power them a bit, and go from there.

 

Stupendous Man- Born on a planet with a culture so smugly self righteous about its own utopian nature that Karma itself must have caused it to explode, a young infant landed on Earth to be raised by Johnathon and Martha Cant. The Cants, true to their name, were quick to teach their adopted son right and wrong to the point of anal retentiveness. Now as Stupendous Man, he has vast power, but "Green Rock Radiation" renders him helpless... that's right, all it has to be is green and a rock. A spray painted hunk of granite causes his powers to begin fading, and emeralds make him fall over and want to puke. Folks would have more sympathy for him when this happened except, well, he's such a morally pretentious and pedantic blowhard!

 

Leatherwing and Sparrow- Fancying himself the "Globe's greatest Detective", Leatherwing is no such thing... he is merely the luckiest guesser in the world, which he tries to pass of as logic no matter how stupid it sounds "The crime was at Sea... C is a vitamin, Oranges are rich in vitamins and are fruits, fruits are plants, this MUST be the work of my old foe Poison Oakey!" He has the annoying talent of taking credit for someone else's deduction or acting like he knew all along and was just waiting for you to figure it out on your own. The only one really dumb enough to fall for that is the little suck up partner of his, Sparrow.

 

Sea King- When he discovered the duties of rulership were too hard, this Atlantean prince decided to become a superhero instead where no one really required him to work. His powers are nearly useless out of water, which is why he prefers out of water missions. That way he can tell a team mate "My power over fish isn't working...." forcing that team mate to handle things for both of them. Life am good.

 

Wonderous Woman- Dripping in bondage gear, this super heroine takes immediate offense to any who would dare suggest she lives 'that kind of lifestyle just because of the way I'm dressed'. She is almost as bad as Stupendous Man when it comes to moralizing as such, and is quick to point out she comes from an elightened society island of womyn where peace reigns. Which is probably why she came to Man's world, so she could get her jollies tying people up and smacking them around ... well, that and men have it coming due to centuries of repressing females. Of course, in a world full of superstrong villains, she's as likely to be tied up by her own gear as tie them up, and for some reason this never disuades her.

She also makes a mean pot of coffee according to her teammates.

 

Adjust or alter (a little or drastically) the above ideas to fit your campaign and your own group's sense of humor etc.

 

Other options include:

 

Black Volt- Not that bad a guy, but the others NEVER let him use his electric powers, insisting he instead fill in the role of injecting 'hip hop flava' with pronouncements that are essentially backing up or repeating what the others said, but more in keeping with slang. This makes him cranky when off the clock. "C'mon, Black Volt, say 'That is off the hook, just once'" "NO, now go away!"

 

Mac Hawk- A sterotypical New Yorker (in the worst way), suffers from a sort of 'small man' syndrome because his ONLY power is wings. Constantly trying to prove himself and gets in others faces, "You got a problem with me? Do you? Cause if you do I got a wing in the face for you pally! Huh?" The others usually pull him off, but sometimes they just let whoever beat the snot out of him. It doesn't cool his pigeon like "I'm walking here!" attitude though.

 

 

EDIT: Of course, you'll want to change the name of the team, how about "Superior Friends" or "The Righteous Legion!"

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Re: "To Protect and Annoy"

 

If you don't mind changing his alliance, why not use Foxbat? Perhaps he's turned over a new leaf (if you can't beat the good guys, join them!) and is doing community service as a probational hero. If he can go one year without committing a crime, he's effectively served his time. Imagine the excitement on his face when he gets to pose for pictures with the PCs. "Hey guys, now that we're all buddies, we should see what we each look like without our masks on! What do you think?"

 

Just some thoughts.

In my reality, Foxbat several years ago invoked Venerable Comic Book Cliche #16 ("Any sufficently popular villian reforms and gets his own title") . He is now "keeping company" with Britany Reed, great great grandniece of the Lone Ranger, grandaughter of the original Green Hornet, and current Green Hornet. They are currently an unsanctioned crimefighting team al la Spider-Man and Black Cat.

 

Thanks for the suggestion though.

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Re: "To Protect and Annoy"

 

Suggestion: Find a copy of Stuperpowers or Stuperpowers Deluxe. It's not expensive (about $16 for the deluxe version). It has all kinds of "heroes" for you to use, most of which are parodies of more "famous" characters. I won't give full descriptions here -- that would cause a few problems, I think...but some names should give you a general idea:

 

Mister Fascist

The Unnoticable Girl

Thunk!

Farenheit 451

 

(I'm sure you can guess who they are! ;) )

 

Mighty Joe Jung

 

Rightwing

 

 

The Justice Bringers:

 

Nice Streak (speedster who doesn't wear clothing)

Wonder Wommyn

Iron Lung

Grim Shadow (think "Batman" on a budget)

Huixtociuatl, Goddess of Salt!

 

(This rather mixes characters from both DC & Marvel, but what the hey! It's a parody, right? :) )

 

And by the way: Stuperpowers is worth it just for the laughs. I've only tried to run it once...under protest...and the game spontaneously combusted. But it's a laugh riot to read! :D

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Re: "To Protect and Annoy"

 

If you really want to tick them off, put a couple of their Hunteds on the team. A known bad guy on the "official" supers team. It'll drive 'em nuts trying to figure out how the *bleep* that happened.

 

How did it happen? Take your pick: blackmail, bribery, extortion, newfound repentance, glaring clerical error, guy who picks team was mind-controlled...

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Re: "To Protect and Annoy"

 

I keep thinking of a leader like Die Fleduer mouse with better acting/people skills. He shows up and presence attacks the local news team into watching him and his team takes all the credit, speaks for the "hero community" and the like. Mostly he's using his superherioc ID to make money and score with the ladies.

 

The brick of the team is a circus strongman type with most of his superhuman strength tied up in 5-10 times end cost and or extra time, making his super strength very impressive but completly useless in combat.

 

The energy projector has these huge honking energy beams that he fires whenever there is a chance to show off his powers. His energy blasts really aren't that strong but they are so unfocused that there is alot of excess energy that just radiates so that it looks really impressive.

 

The Gadgeteer has one problem, all of his inventions are like beta release software, (prone to spectacular breakdows, errors) but has a very nice packaging that makes his gadgets look sleek and impressive.

 

The Martial artist is the one guy in the group who has real ability, the problem is that he is so honorable and gullible that every time a fight starts some villan manages to trick/ outwit him

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Re: "To Protect and Annoy"

 

Oh, you want silly. I thought just annoying. Here's silly for you...

The Super-Burroughs!

 

Manhattan-Man, the Human Skyline! - Growing brick.

 

Super-Queen(s)! - duplicating female (?) martial artist.

 

Staten Island Fairy - protective spirit of the island.

 

Brooklynn. - scrappy demi-brick with an attitude.

 

Bronx Cheer! - master of the supersonic raspberry.

 

Throw in the "burrough"-> "burro" -> "donkey" -> "***" chain and it could work. :P

 

For even more fun, throw in "Long Islander", a stretchy guy in place of the Staten Island Fairy and see if anyone notices that Long Island's not a Burrough. ;)

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Re: "To Protect and Annoy"

 

A while back I was in a Iron Age superheroes one shot game. The PCs were a superhero team commissioned by the US government called Strykeforce. We spell it with a Y because its dumber that way. A super-powered terrorist hacker called Hato caused a space station prison full of supervillians to crash into France and our team was sent in to mop up. The government sanctioned french heroes accused us of violating France's sovereignty.

 

The French Heroes

Vitesse = The french superman, taken down in one shot by Ripper, a villian with knife and lots of findweakness.

 

La Triumph = A flying brick, other than the flight he's the french version of The Thing. Never did anything note worthy other than being torn in half by a supervillian's giant scythe.

 

Dragonseal = An annoying arrogant French version of the Humantorch. I think he was the teamleader. Set me and half of Paris on fire but never got a successful shot off against the enemy. Got blown up by antimatter.

 

All together they were completely ineffective and just got in the way, but the characters in Strykeforce were alot more wrong.

 

Twitch = Roy the Ruthless's character, the Flash on crack. His primary attack was to smash himslef into his opponent at supersonic speed, then regenerate from paste. Abondoned us at one point to eat a sandwich, but saved the day in the end.

 

Paragon = My character. Somewhere between spiderman and Superman, with the brain of Reed Richards. He was the team's frontline fighter and therefore spent most of the game unconscious.

 

But worst of all was Hida Tsuzua's character, John Ashcroft. He had mental powers and fought by summoning captured brainwashed terrorists to charge at the enemy and blow themselves up. He died.

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Re: "To Protect and Annoy"

 

I seem to remember that there were a lot of great lame superheroes in the recent X-Force series. The one with Mr. Sensitive as teamleader. The whole team existed more to get publicity than fight crime. Can anybody remember any of their lame recruits and rivals?

 

Marvel also put out a book called the Craptacular B-sides,.

 

Ofcourse The Tick is a never ending source of not-so heroic heroes. In addition to the Civic-minded Five, mentioned above, there was a superhero team in The Tick comic which Tick and Arthur joined. It's roster included Rubberducky, a stretching type, and a character I think was called The Runner. He's as fast as 10 fast men.

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Re: "To Protect and Annoy"

 

Jailbait: Extremely attractive young woman in a skimpy costume who loves to party, dance, and bend in...interesting...ways. Too bad she's underage.

 

Papparazzi: Has more cameras than you can break, his best attack is an Autofire Flash to normal vision, but at least his team always has plenty of photographic evidence. (He's also expert at getting really embarrassing shots.)

 

Mr. Methuselah: World's oldest superhuman. Has a *lot* of levels, but is Age 60+, Speed 1 and his vast powers have kind of faded away over time. (i.e., he hits every time, but it doesn't do much.)

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Re: "To Protect and Annoy"

 

Oh, you want silly. I thought just annoying. Here's silly for you...

The Super-Burroughs!

 

Manhattan-Man, the Human Skyline! - Growing brick.

 

Super-Queen(s)! - duplicating female (?) martial artist.

 

Staten Island Fairy - protective spirit of the island.

 

Brooklynn. - scrappy demi-brick with an attitude.

 

Bronx Cheer! - master of the supersonic raspberry.

 

Throw in the "burrough"-> "burro" -> "donkey" -> "***" chain and it could work. :P

 

For even more fun, throw in "Long Islander", a stretchy guy in place of the Staten Island Fairy and see if anyone notices that Long Island's not a Burrough. ;)

"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Supreme Serpent again."

 

Thank you everyone, but this one has that je ne sais quoi. Staten Island Fairy is probably going to end up modled after Rage in Queer as Folk, a mentalist that can turn the villians' homophobia against themselves.

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